AUTHOR NOTE: I have never tried to write a fanfiction like this. I do not claim to be a good writer, but this idea has been plaguing my mind for a few weeks and I just had to get it down on paper. This is an AU version of the characters. It does not follow the canon story line. I do not own these characters I only take them out for a spin. Feedback is appreciated. I went to school with a guy who reminded me a lot of the character of Blake and based my version of Blake accordingly. I like stories with lots of drama and unearthing relationships that normally stay hidden. This will be a series of glimpses into the relationship between Blake Moran and the McCord family. Thanks for reading.

"what's next Blake?" Elizabeth sighed from the back seat of her motorcade. She had just finished yet another meet and greet on her world wind campaign tour. She was so exhausted and missed Henry and just wanted to melt into his arms. Her safe place. But it was not meant to be. "I really hope you are about to tell me about a last-minute cancelation" she said hopefully with a little half grin.

"not so lucky there ma'am" Blake said gently. He knew she was tired. Hell, so was he. If you had told him a year ago that he would willingly be on the campaign trail with the secretary as her right-hand man, he would have said you were crazy. "You have the children's literacy luncheon, followed by a speech for a playground unveiling. After that you have an hour and a half before a dinner for campaign donors" he said in his normal straight forward way.

"Ugh…Can I say that I am so over this campaign! I miss my family and I swear to God I think my hand is getting bruised from all the hand shaking" Elizabeth wined while flopping her head back dramatically. She looked over to Blake with her puppy dog eyes and said "Do I have to?"

"No ma'am. You most certainly do not have to do any of this, but that would also mean not being President and we both know your stance on that" he tells her as he begins dialing Dr. McCord's cell number on his phone. As it rings, he switches to Facetime and hands the secretary his phone. She is confused at first until he hears her husbands voice and smiles so wide its almost painful.

"Henry…I miss you so much! I just want to be in your arms…" Elizabeth coos to the phone. Its at this time that Blake puts soundproof headphones on and leans back in the seat and closes his eyes to give the McCord's as much privacy as he can for what he is sure to be a very much needed and private conversation.

Henry was used to Blake calling when Elizabeth was missing him. It always made Henry feel better knowing that Blake was with Elizabeth when she was away. He knew that Blake would keep her safe and taken care of. Both he and Elizabeth had talked about it many times at night when they were winding down after a long day. It was the time when they would discuss the kids and not long after Elizabeth took the job as Secretary of State, Blake. At first, he was unsure about his wife's reliance on another man besides him, until he met Blake and realized that it was more like having a fourth kid. Blake adored Elizabeth and took his job very seriously. When Elizabeth found out that Blake was bisexual and upon further investigation found that his parents had disowned him as a result, he couldn't understand how any parent could do that to there child. To refuse them even the basic of understanding.

~flashback—Dec. 20th one year as Secretary of State~

Blake Moran stood waiting patiently for the elevator to open. *Ding*

"Good Morning Ma'am, here is your coffee and one of those muffins you like from that place around the corner" said Blake to the Secretary. She looked up at him with a bright smile that lit up his insides and gave him such a feeling of pride.

"Good Morning Blake, how was your weekend? Any Holiday Plans?" Elizabeth fired off her questions as she walked to her office.

"my weekend was fine, finally finished that book you recommended about world policy and the effect on children. It really was a good book. And as far as Holiday plans, I will be going home for the holidays this year. My parents haven't called me back yet, but I'm sure they will soon to let me know what time they will be having family dinner." He said in a rush. He was so hoping that this year went better than the last few. His relationship with his parents had been strained since he was about 14 years old and first told his parents that he was bisexual. But he held out hope that this year would be different.

"Ok Blake, can you call the staff and have everyone meet in the conference room to go over the inducements for the Canadian project" the secretary said as she walked to her desk and began pulling out files from her briefcase.

"Right away, Madam Secretary. Would you like anything else?" he asked before leaving her office to do just as she asked. She looked up from her desk and smiled as she put her glasses on to read a report that had been left on her desk and said "No, thanks Blake, that will be all." He nodded and exited the office. Once he was back to his desk, he called the staff and everyone got to work.

Around lunchtime, it was clear that something was bothering Blake, but he continued working like normal. Elizabeth noticed he was lacking eye contact when he brought her lunch, but thought he was just distracted. At around 4pm, Elizabeth was ready to go home and begin her holiday. She was sure everyone else was ready for a whole 8 days off. She knew she was! She loved Christmas. It was her favorite time of year. She decided that now was as good of a stopping point as any and began packing up everything and decided to have Blake call her motorcade.

"Blake…" Elizabeth called.

"Yes, Ma'am…" Blake responded quietly as he walked in looking at the ground with his shoulders hunched over. "What can I get for you Madam Secretary…"

"Blake are you Ok?" Elizabeth asked worriedly after hearing his tone. As she looked up, she saw something that broke her heart. Blake was trying his level best to not cry. But she went straight into what Henry called her mom-mode. She got up an came around her desk just as his legs buckled and he fell to his knees dropped and lowered his head into his hands as the first sob broke from his throat. "Oh God, Blake…" she rushed to his side and placed her hand on his back as he sobbed and was at a loss as to what was going on. He was gasping for breath and was well and truly inconsolable. After she tried unsuccessfully multiple times to get him to calm and tell her what was wrong, she waked to her office door and asked Jay come to the office. Once he was in the outer office, he heard the sobbing and was immediately on alert.

When he walked into the office, the first thing he saw was the secretary in the floor. Then he saw Blake and was at a loss as to what to do. Then he hears his name again "Jay, can you help me get Blake to the couch and off of the floor?" Elizabeth asked as she continued to watch Blake and try to get him to breath and calm down. "Of course, Madam Secretary" said Jay as he got behind Blake and picked him bodily up from behind and helped walk/drag him to the couch. Once there he just sat there with his head in his hands. After about 10 minutes despite it feeling like hours, he got quiet and eerily calm. He just sat there staring straight a head and cried silently.

She walked back to the door and Jay followed. Elizabeth looked at Jay and said "Do you know what has got him this upset? Did someone die, or did something happen?" "No Ma'am" Jay said. "We were in the conference room working on inducements for Canada when his phone rang. He stepped away from the table and answered the phone. When he hung up, he didn't say anything he just got really still. That's when you called his name and he came in here."

"Ok, thanks Jay. I have no idea what is going on, but I think we are going to call it a night and Blake is coming home with me until I can figure out what the hell is going on. Can you please handle everything else for now, we are going to leave as soon as my motorcade is ready?" Elizabeth said in a worried tone. She still didn't know what was going on, but she would most definitely find out. Whatever had happened on that phone call had all but broken Blake and she would not stand for someone or something hurting her family. It was in that moment that Elizabeth stopped short. She realized that she didn't just see Blake as an employee, but like one of her kids. Like family. He decision was made then and there.

After she got her motorcade called, she went back to her office to check on Blake. He was still sitting stone silent and still. Like a hollow shell of himself. It was very troubling to say the least. She stepped over to her desk and called Henry. He would know what to do. He was always good at this kind of thing. With all of there kids, he was the one you went to with tears. Not that she was cold hearted or anything, it's just that she kept her emotions tighter than Henry did. He found matters of the heart more effortless that she did. It was just a fact.

As the phone dialed, she tried to think of a way to explain this situation to her husband. *ring…ring…ring...* "Hey babe, what's up? Are you going to be late tonight?" came the voice of her husband.

"Henry, I am not sure how to even begin…Blake is having some sort of crisis and I don't want him to be alone. I still haven't gotten him to tell me what has happened, but he collapsed in my office crying and I just don't know what to do other than to bring him home… "she rambled quickly at a loss of how to process.

"Babe, of course bring him home. You know how I feel about Blake. If he needs us, we are there. Always!" Henry said with feeling. God, she loved this man.

"Thanks Henry" Elizabeth breathes out in a huff. "We are going to be home soon. We are leaving now. I may need your help to get him into the house. He not quite responsive right now. I am hoping that I can get him out of here."

"Do you need me to come and help you with him?" asked Henry very concerned now. "Would you mind? I would feel better if you were here in case, he goes down again…" said Elizabeth biting her bottom lip. "Sure babe, I be there in about 15 minutes. Be ready…" said Henry already walking out of the door.

True to his word, 15 minutes later Henry walked into Elizabeth's office and spotted Blake on the couch with Elizabeth sitting next to him and him leaning on her shoulder with his eyes closed. But what was more concerning was the fact that even in sleep, he continued to cry. Tears were still seeping from his eyes. Elizabeth looked up at him with fear and hopeless ness that made him take a deep breath.

"Babe, has he said anything?" he asked her. She shook her head no and just ran her hand through his hair. "I don't know what to do…he is hurting so much and I just want to help him and make it stop" she whispers almost in tears herself. "We will help him babe. Let's get him home…" said henry as he bent down to help wake Blake.

Blake heard his name be called. But he was too miserable to care. What did it matter? He did not matter. Nothing mattered anymore. He was defective. Unnatural. An abomination. That was word his mother had used. A waste of college tuition and a stain on his family. "Don't bother coming home anymore. Stop calling us. We wash our hands of you. You are no longer welcome in our home. You gave up that right when you refused to turn away from the bisexual nonsense. Shame on you…" when his mother was done eviscerating him over the phone, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. So, he did what he did as a child. Took a deep breath and pretended that everything was fine. Until it wasn't.

Her voice did it. Her sweet, caring, understanding voice. It was everything he had wished in a mother. Everything he wished he had a teenager when he was being shipped off to as the church called it reprogramming camp. A four-week summer camp for kids who thought they were gay. It was where he learned the world is a very brutal and hateful place. Four weeks of beatings and scripture. He was never the same after that. Gone was the carefree boy who loved fashion replaced by a very tightly wound bundle of perfection. It was what made his parents happy. Its all he wanted was to make them happy. Madam Secretary was everything he wished his mother was. But he was not that lucky. His world spun on its axis and he just remembered falling then nothing. Until he heard her voice again. Then the embracement set in along with the guilt. He had failed to be perfect and now his boss was having to deal with him. He just needed to leave. Go home and end his sorry excuse of a life. It was too much.

"Blake…Blake come on, it's time to go…Blake… come on sweetie… you have to get up" Elizabeth said in a tone of voice she saved only for her children and when Henry was sick. It was a soothing sound. It finally got through. He blinked up at her and said "I'm so sorry…" he got up quickly and began to walk to his desk. Henry and Elizabeth followed him at a pace and waited to see what he was doing. He got his coat, turned off his computer and walked to the elevator. As Henry and Elizabeth watched him, they shared a look that said "This is worse than we thought". Once in the elevator Blake was still not making eye contact and it was Henry that noticed his phone. He saw Blake attempting to order an uber. He turned to Elizabeth and motioned with his eyes to Blakes phone. Elizabeth saw what was happening and was not going to have it. "Ok Blake, lets go…" she said as the doors of the elevator opened. "What ma'am, I am just going to take an uber and get home" he stuttered.

"No, Blake you are not. You are coming home with us no questions asked. You are not fine and I do not want you alone. If you resist, I will have Henry bodily throw you into my motorcade. Your choice…" she said with feeling. Another mom-mode tone that left one with no option other than that which she had stipulated. "Yes ma'am, but you really don't have to…" he trailed off as he finally made eye contact with both Elizabeth and Henry McCord. They were both having none of it. He sighed and began walking to the motorcade flanked by both of them. The ride was silent. Both Henry and Elizabeth knew the upcoming conversation would be long and hard. But for now, they would give Blake space to process.

Blake on the other hand was not sure what was happening. He was unfamiliar with caring parents or parental figures. What did they have is store for him? He knew what his parents would have done. Yelled and punished him for failing to do his job and for embarrassing them by breaking down. That was what he thought all parents were like until he had seen Elizabeth McCord with her children. Neither McCord ever belittled their kids or make them feel worthless. Even Stevie when she dropped out of school. They still loved and supported her. He was so confused in that moment that he didn't even hear Henry call Stevie and tell her an abridged version of events and ask her to take her siblings out and have a sleepover at Jareth's. He also didn't even realize they had pulled up to the secretary's brownstone either until Henry placed his hand on Blakes shoulder to get his attention.

As he walked into the home of his boss and her family, he didn't know what to do. So, he just stood there. Henry realizing his issue decided some male bonding was needed. He led Blake up the stairs to the master bedroom and led him to the bathroom. "alright buddy, take a shower and here are some clothes to put on after so your comfortable…" Henry said as he handed Blake a pair of clean boxers, pajama pants, and an old marine t-shirt. He even left a pair of socks just in case. Blake just turned to say thanks, but couldn't get words to work, so he just nodded. He let the water beat down over his body in an attempt to wash off his feelings. It didn't work. As he was getting dressed, he stopped before he put on the shirt and just stared at his reflection. He must have stood there for a while because Henry walked back into the bathroom and froze. What he saw was horrific. It was something you saw in pictures of war victims. It was heart breaking. Across Blakes bare back were lines of scars. Whip marks. Someone, some monster, had beaten this boy so badly that he had lash marks.

Blake jumped as he heard Dr. McCord's voice and quickly pulled on the shirt and turned around still not meeting his eyes. "Ugh…*cough*…Blake, I just wanted to let you know that Elizabeth and I are down stairs in the den when your ready to come talk. Ok?" said Henry. Blake clears his throat and says "Sure, be right down" like nothing was wrong. Henry half-smiled and then made a quick retreat. He had to tell Elizabeth. She would be devastated to know the type of pain he had endured, but it would help her to help him.

Down stairs, Elizabeth was still trying to wrap her head around what had happened. She had swiped his phone when Henry had led him upstairs. She knows that the last call was from his mother. But when she tried to call her back to see if she could get any information. The call had been blocked by the service provider. Which was odd. So, she had used her phone and had no issue and introduced her as Secretary McCord, her sons boss and was wondering if she could ask what had happened because Blake was severely upset but before she could finish she was informed that she must have the wrong number because she did not have a son named Blake and not to call back. This gave Elizabeth a bad feeling. It was made worse by Henry arriving back from checking on Blake. In almost 30 years of marriage, Elizabeth had only seen this facial express on Henry twice before. When he first told her about a nightmare following Desert Storm and when he came back from an NSA mission, she couldn't know the details about.

"Henry…what's wrong…are you ok?" she asked getting more concerned by the second. "Elizabeth…someone has beaten that boy. He has lash marks across his back. I don't know what happened today, but I know he has been carrying around pain for years. The marks on his back look 10 years old. He would have been a teenager! Its sickening!" he says with so much pain and anger it stops Elizabeth's breath for a second. "What?" she breaths. "No, that can't be right, that would have made him 15 years old. Who would have beat him like that?" she thought aloud.

"I was 16 actually…it was part of the reprogramming" Blake quietly said from the base of the stairs. They both turned to him with wide eyes. Both of them speechless. "My parents thought that I was damaged and the pastor of our church said that this summer camp would cure me of my disease of being gay. So, they sent me the summer after I turned 16. If you didn't follow the rules, you were beaten. If you didn't keep your area clean and tidy, you were beaten. Basically, they tried to beat the gay out of us. They closed down the camp a few years ago. But I was subjected to it for two summer until I turned 18 and was deemed cured. My parents were so proud they decided to allow me to go off to college. I did and it was then that I came out as bisexual…" he spoke with such a detachment that Elizabeth began to cry. She got up and wrapped him up in a hug as Henry just sat there with clinched fists. He knew places like this existed, but never saw the harm they caused up close.

As Elizabeth hugged Blake, he decided to let her comfort him. He let go of all his emotions and cried until he fell asleep in her arms. She looked over his head at Henry with a sad expression on her face and said "the call was from his Mom. I called her from his phone and the call was blocked. So, I used my phone and the woman said she didn't have a son. Henry this morning he was waiting to hear from his parents about plans for Christmas. I think that Bitch disowned him five days before Christmas…I mean who does that? To your own kid?" Henry had to agree. But then Elizabeth said in a quiet voice, "are we going to be enough to help him? He is so broken and fragile." Henry gave her a sad smile and said "we will give him the love his own family didn't. He's our son now." There was a determination in his voice that spoke volumes.

~end flashback~

Henry still worried about Elizabeth, but not to the extent he would if Blake was not around. After that first Christmas, Blake became a fixture around the McCord house. He would hang out with Stevie and have lively debates with her about a number of topics. He loved fashion as much if not more so than Alison, and could hold his own at Titan Fall with Jason.

After her much needed call with Henry, Elizabeth looked over to see Blake with his headphone still on and looking out the window giving her the most amount of privacy available to a person sharing a car with another person. She loved that about Blake. He was so considerate. It still made her so angry when she thought about how his own parents had treated him. But it was their loss. Before the campaign started, Elizabeth had told Blake that he was an honorary McCord in all but name. He had cried and hugged her so tight, she had trouble taking a breath. But she let him. She would not deny him physical comfort after she discovered that the reason Blake did not really handle touch very well was because he had never been given physical affection by his parents. They were aloof people and did not show their son how to give or receive physical touch. That had been a heartbreaking revelation…

~Flashback December 21s t~

Blake had been so worn out from emotions that he didn't wake up until the next morning around 9am. Henry and Elizabeth just left him on the couch with a blanket. Tonight, he could sleep in the guest room. When he woke up, he was disoriented and confused. Where was he? Then he remembered. He was so embarrassed. He had broken down on his boss and her husband had seen his back and then he had spilled his guts to them both about the camp. He was beginning to breath hard and panic was setting in. From the kitchen, Elizabeth had seen him stir and set up. Then she noticed how ridged he was sitting. She placed her hand on Henrys arm to get his attention. He looked at her then followed her eyes to Blake. "Good Morning Blake, would you like some breakfast?" asked Henry. Blake jumped up and spun around so fast he almost lost his balance. "No…no thank you Dr. McCord…I…I'm fine…I just need to find my clothes and get home…thank you so much for your hospitality. I appreciate it…" he was stuttering over his words and talking so fast it was a wonder he had not passed out yet from lack of air. Elizabeth got up and went to him. Led him to the table had had him sit down. "Blake…honey…you have to breath… ok? Just breath…deep breath….in…1,2,3…out…1,2,3. Ok, good job…" Elizabeth whispered again in that soothing mom tone. Once Blake was calmed down enough to actually speak without blacking out, he looked into her eyes and asked "Why are you being so nice to me? I'm not worth your energy. I am broken. You shouldn't be wasting your time on worrying about me. I'm not worth it…" he said with such conviction it broke her heart. He could have passed a polygraph he believed those words so much.

"Oh Blake" she said quietly. "how wrong you are…you are worth more than anything in the world. Do you think I would have brought you into my home if I thought you were not worth it? She asked. He just shook his head. In that moment, he appeared younger than his years 25 years. He looked at her and said "Can I ask you a question?" she looked at him confused and said "yeah, ask me anything…" It took a minute for him to decide how to word his request. Then he said so quietly that if she had not been as close to him as she was, she wouldn't have heard him "can I give you a hug? I'm not sure how to do it but I feel better when you hug me, so maybe it will be even better if I hug you... Is that wrong?" he looked up at her with big eyes and she studied him for a split second and then she realized. As did Henry who closed his eyes and bowed his head and said a silent prayer to God to please help them to help this boy. "Of Course," she said and then she said "there is no wrong way to hug a person, just wrap them up in your arms and send all your love to them. That's all it takes. It's never wrong to want or need a hug" she said with tears in her eyes. After that both Henry and Elizabeth made it a point to touch Blake in some form whether it be a hug, a pat on the back, a bicep squeeze, or even a pat on the hand.

~End Flashback~

Since that first Christmas though, Blake had blossomed into a very affectionate person. Gone was the young man afraid to touch and be touched. She reached over and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked over at her and removed his headphones. She smiled and said "Thanks Blake, that was just what I needed." "anytime ma'am" said Blake with a smile of his own. Just then the DS agent from the front seat said "Ma'am we have an updated security threat assessment for the outdoor speech. We will be changing the schedule slightly."

"Ok Matt. Is the threat credible?" she asked.

"Not that we can tell. We will continue to investigate during your other engagement" Matt said from the front seat.

"Well, nothing like a little excitement…" Blake said with as much sarcasm as he could. Elizabeth snorted a laugh and grinned at him and shook her head. "you are so bad…" she said between giggles. "You like me that way ma'am" said Blake also while laughing.