AN: I THINK I FIXED THE LAST CHAPTER'S FORMAT. AND HERE IS 2 MORE. THANKS FOR READING.
D: LAW AND ORDER SVU AND ITS CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE.
CH 28. A CHANGE.
I walk towards my living room without withdrawing my gaze from the white sheet. I try to read as I force my eyes to focus. I'm still kind of sleep and my eyes are tired and swollen from the continuous tears. I can see my name written on the top of the sheet right beside the hospital logo. My age and other personal data. I keep reading not really knowing what I'm looking for or where to look for. There are too many letters and numbers all accommodated in columns. I can only understand few of them. I get to recognize I have a low level in some vitamins. A, C and D. My brain starts to work trying to remember what this vitamins are for. The fit the ones the doctor prescribed me before. I know vitamin D is for my lack of sun exposure, it's not the first time I've had it low. Vitamin C are supposed to be the ones that defend the system from the flu. I know I'm only losing my time avoiding to keep looking to the rest of the results. Not consciously but I'm delaying it all. I don't really know what I'm expecting to find in there. I've already have a negative test that had thrown a bunch of mixed and confusing feeling to me. I don't want that again. But… there a part of me, a part that I don't know from where is coming out, that needs to reassure something. I'm not exactly an expert on the issue but I know the basics. The nausea, dizziness and the lack of my period are irrefutable symptoms of the condition. I need to know for sure.
So I keep reading the results. A couple more of cells full with medical terms which I'm not acquainted with until the words catches my eyes. 'Test 4: Pregnancy' I read them inside my mind and my eyes keep going. "POSITIVE, six weeks of gestation." The words send a warm shudder up my spine. I feel my blood freeze inside my veins. The sheet falls slowly to the floor and my hands fly to my mouth. The heightened words flash in my mind as I feel my stomach react. A hurricane of emotions invading my insides and my eyes are soon filled with tears. My jaw starts to tremble making my teeth crash against each other and big knot forms in the middle of my throat. I try to swallow to undo it but it is useless. I can't breathe. I can't decode all the feeling I'm having.
"I live in you." His voice is heard so soft. I'm barely conscious of the pair of tears that have managed to escape down my cheeks. These ones are different. They don't burn but rather gives me a fresh feeling. Finally I'm able to put a finger on the feeling that is invading me stronger than the other ones. It's not pain or sadness. It is that feeling that I haven't feel in what seems an eternity. Hope. Unconsciously my hand flies to my belly even when there is no any physical change in my body I know something is different now. I can't actually feel the loneliness disappear. I'm not really alone anymore.
It is too late to change my mind. Too late to try and suppress the feeling. While I keep letting the new feelings invade me I listen to the doorbell. Far away. I try not to pay attention to it hopping whoever is out there would go away but it doesn't stop. I takes me out of my self-centered moment.
"Olivia?" Finally the nuisance wins and I move towards the door. Slowly and more carefully now. As if my conscious is fool aware of everything now.
"Liv?" I hear at the familiar voice at the other side of the door. It has an evident concern tone so I hurry to open the door.
"Hey! Are you ok?" Casey appears in front of me with an anxious look in her eyes. She walks inside the apartment without waiting for an invitation.
"Yes. I was… busy." I don't really know what to say.
"Were you crying?" She asks making me know my face is all wet in tears. "How are you feeling?"
"Awkward." I answer with the truth. My voice is all crashed and the tears come out of my eyes again.
"Come here." She says taking me by the hand and dragging me to the nearest couch. "Alex called me. She told me yesterday you left the station in a bad mood. She asked me to come by and check on you. She doesn't want to suffocate you so… she sent me, of course." She explains the reason she is here.
"I'm fine." I try to assure her as the lump in my throat doesn't help me at all. I do feel suffocated but not by Alexandra or Casey.
"Liv." She calls my name with this pity tone I've heard constantly. "You have to keep strong."
"I tried." I answer her somehow angry. Cause I did try. It took a whole lot of energy and strength to get up and out of the apartment. And despite all the strength I fall back down and came back here.
"Well. You have to try harder." She scolds me with compassion in her eyes. I just look down not wanting to face her eyes, but facing another thing instead. The hospital results. I hold my breath and my face expression gives a clue to Casey because she is already looking at the paper and taking it in her hands. I want to run and stop her but I'm freeze. My body won't answer.
"What's this?" She asks already reading the content of the paper. I feel like lying to her but nothing comes to my mind. So I just wait and try to figure out her expressions. First her face is full of concern, I guess she is in the anemia for lack of vitamins part. Then her expression changes as she focuses her eyes in the reading and the surprise appears in her face.
"Oh god…" she expresses putting down the sheet of paper and looks at me with that surprise. "Are you pregnant?" She asks with a big smile in the middle of her face as her eyes are soon filled with tears. I just nod as I hear her words inside my head. PREGNANT. I am pregnant. I feel her warm arms around me and listen to her simultaneous laugh-cry, and my tear appear once again. "Congratulations." I can't say a thing. So she moves away looking for my eyes maybe in search of an answer there. Her smile slowly disappearing and I can guess what she has found in my eyes. She debates a little bit before actually speaking again.
"Liv, who's the father?" she asks with seriousness in her tone.
To be continued
AN: SO... WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW?
