AN: Thanks for reading. I hope you all are safe and heathy. Sorry for grammar, spelling or drafting mistakes. English is not my native language.

D: Law and Order SVU and its character are not mine.

CHAPTER 31. ANGER

I feel my blood immediately heating up. My legs freeze and I stare at him.

—Nice to see you again.— he says with a stupid smile.

—What are you doing here?— I ask him, not very kindly, staring at the pair of boxes on te desk.

—I was transferred to this unit. I heard that they were short of detectives so I thought it was a good idea to come and give them a hand. — My body is filled with enormous anger as his words echo in my ears "short of detectives".

I feel like someone is applying some kind of pressure on my head. Unconciously my jaw gets clenched. I lower my gaze to avoid him read the anger in my eyes. I take a couple of steps towards my desk and, being only a few centimeters away from him I feel the need to punch him. I try to control myself but it's been a long time since I feel such an anger. In fact, it's been a long time since I feel anything but pain and depression. I think I have really lost the ability to recognize the feelings and less to control them.

So, since it seems I won't be able to control it, in an abrupt movement I let my arm push the pair of boxes forcefully throwing them through the air straight to the floor. I don't really stop to see but the loud sound of things falling down ensures me that it has happened.

—Hey!— I hear his voice complain, but I just follow my path towards the lockers and ... what I see doesn't help much. His locker is half opened and totally empty. I close the small metal door to find out that his name is no longer wiritten on it.

—Samuel Robinson— I read aloud and it is now that I can notice the lump that has already lodged in my throat. I try to swallow but it is impossible.

—What's your problem!? — I hear him complain behind me.

—Hey, don't talk to her like that. — Fin immediately comes to my defense.

—What? ... Didn't you see what she just did? —

—What is the problem? — I listen to Cragen's voice in the distance. The room begins to revolve around me. I feel unstable and nausea attacks me again. My hand flies directly to my mouth while my other hand holds tight to the nearest locker. I hear the voices far away ... more and more until I feel like I must run ... and so I do. I don't know how but I slide down the hall directly to the bathroom. But I can't go further so I lean over the first sink I see and let all my breakfast out. After a couple of minutes I try to calm down and regain control of my breathing. Once I succeed I rush to rinse my mouth with plenty of water and clean it all out.

—Liv ... are you okay? — I listen to Munch.

—Yes... do not come in. — I ask him. I really don't want him to see me in this state.

—Let me help you. — I look up and he is next to me already lifting my hair.

—Ladies room, Munch. — I scold him. He only takes paper and gives it to me so I can clean myself. —Thank you.— I say accepting his help.

—You ok?.—

—I'm fine. Breakfast was bad. — I quickly invent an excuse.

— yes… I can tell. It seemed that I was listening to the exorcist's girl in here. — he mocks, as usual while giving me a slight smile. Suddenly, the captain is already in the room too.

—It's the ladies room. — I clarify once again as I feel a little annoyed that they are here.

—Actually, it isn't. — Cragen says pointing to something behind me. I turn and look at the pair of latrines and the poor uniformed man who is motionless looking at me with a disgusted expression.

—It was an emergency.— I complained when I noticed that the useless man had been paralyzed there while he saw me in that unfortunate situation. —I could have stopped breathing.—

—I'm ... sorry— he says trembling a little. I just roll my eyes and ignore him again turning to the captain.

—See you in my office, Benson. — he says with that familiar lidership tone of his. It seems I haven't heard it in an eternity. And if I'm been sincere, I am glad to hear it again. It brings me certain security. I am still in the same place. I hope it can help me get back into my life ... if that is possible.

I walk down the hall to the office trying to ignore the poor detective who is picking up his scattered things on the floor.

—Are you okay? — Cragen asks as he closes the door of his office behind us.

—Yes. — I reply curtly ... I'm still trying to figure out what feeling I should have now.

—What you did back there was not very… friendly. It's his first day. —

—He ... he started it. — Listening to my own voice I notice that I have just acted as a little girl having a bad tantrum, but I try to continue being serious.

—What did he do? — I keep thinking and the anger returns when I remember his stupid-but-true words.

—He said ... ahm ... nothing. — I prefer not to repeat them. Silence takes its time for some seconds before he continues.

—Look, Liv, I know this is not easy. But you must try to understand that we needed help here. Since ... since the incident, we don't only lost him. We also lost you. — His voice sound so sad in those last words, they make me feel really bad. I had thought about how selfish it had been of me to leave them and now he is reassuring those thoughts.

—I know ... I'm sorry, it's just ... it's hard for me.—

—We know Liv. That's why we have given you your time. You know that your work will be here when you feel ready.—

—Thanks. — is the only thing I can say, although I do not feel it is enough.

—You don't recognize him, huh? — He says with some doubt looking towards the window. I turn to look at the man with his things back in its boxes. I try to remember but I can't remember so I just shake my head.

—It's Detective Samuel. He and Karen found you in the park.— The image of that man who had seemed so tall to me that night comes to mi mind and reminds me of that torment. The cold and the humidity. My skin immediately reacts and the edges of my wound begin to burn. But before I can continue with that terrible memory a light knock on the side door of the office distracts me. It opens slowly and another familiar face appears.

—Hello, can I come in? — The soft familiar voice is heard slightly in my head.

—Kathy, please come in.—

TO BE CONTINUED...

AN: Thanks for reading. :)