I thought about what Marion had said as I worked in Dauntless' medwing. I hadn't expected Liam to date me in the first place and now we were in love in spite of having a long distance relationship. I hadn't had a chance to go visit him since his proposal, but I did have a day off coming up and wanted to have an answer for him when I did go even though he'd assured me there was no rush. I considered Liam's point that we were already making things work and I couldn't deny that, yet the concerns I'd voiced to Marion weren't going to just disappear.
I knew they were all things I'd have to work out with Liam and knew we could do it. There was no sense in worrying about problems now that we could deal with together when they happened. We were good at discussing everything, though it might not always be in a calm, rational manner. Every relationship had it's arguements and ours wasn't going to be an exception, even if our disagreements had been more like playful banter in previous situations. There were ups and downs no matter what and we weren't going to be an exception.
It was late by the time I finished, though I didn't feel very tired. I grabbed some food from the cafeteria and ate by myself. Hardly anyone was awake at this hour except the people back from patrol and they looked like they were ready to turn in after they ate. I finished my food and went to the training room to work off the rest of my energy and showered off. My tired mind quieted as I headed back to the dorm and found Abagail awake.
"Hey Emma." She smiled.
"Hi. You're up late."
"I got back not too long ago. Eustace proposed."
"Liam thought that would happen." I admired the plain tungsten ring she showed me with a smile. "I'm glad everything is working out for you."
"Thanks. How are you doing with the new hours in the medwing?"
"It's nothing I didn't do before back in Erudite. I actually prefer to keep busy."
She laughed softly. "My mother would say that's good because idle hands get into nothing but trouble."
"Very wise of her."
"Everything going good between you and Liam?"
I nodded in answer, not wanting to steal her engagement excitement with all of my internal debates.
"Great to hear. Well, I'm bushed. Goodnight, Emma."
"Night, Abby." I climbed into bed and tried to sleep. After a couple hours of tossing and turning, I finally fell asleep and dreamed of possible futures. When I woke, I ate breakfast and went back to the medwing for another shift. I finished and got clean before grabbing some food.
"Emma, over here!"
I smiled and joined Abagail at her table. "You just get off too?"
"Yep. Did you have a good shift."
"As usual. You?"
"Oh it was really nice. Everyone is talking about my engagement to Eustace like it's a big surprise."
"Why? Because he didn't go for a Dauntless-born?"
"Maybe."
"Liam said Eustace's first girlfriend that was from here left him for a Factionless man, so I wouldn't have expected him to let history repeat itself."
"Yeah, he told me about that. I don't see how anyone could do such a terrible thing."
"Most people that make such choices never think of their actions as bad or are too selfish to care whose lives they ruin."
"You speaking from experience?"
"Not personally. I saw it happen back in Erudite to a girl named Carrie. She went to look for her fiance when he didn't join her at the altar and found him entwined with her sister. She took the first train out and never came back."
"Suicide?"
"It's possible, though they never found a body. I didn't know Carrie very well, but I still think she may have decided to become Factionless instead."
"Why?"
"She couldn't stand the idea of people killing themselves from what ai heard."
"Ironic, especially since that's viewed as brave here."
I shrugged. "Everyone has different opinions in every faction, even if part of the same one. Some like us might share them if they feel like it, but the majority keey their thoughts to themselves and that's not always a bad thing. Being outspoken can lead to trouble."
"That's true."
I finished my food. "You headed back to the dorm?"
"Not yet. I promised Eustace we could look at available living quarters to see if there's anything that will suit us for after we're married."
"Have fun."
She smiled and hugged me before she left.
I thought about how she looked so happy and wanted to share that with Liam, only we would never be able to live and sleep together in the same room. Making a decision definitely wasn't going to be easy.
