AN: This is a completely EO chapter because its a flashback. It has texts and spoiler for Season 12X17 PURSUIT.
D: Law and order SVU, its characters and thee text extracted from one scene is not mine.
CHAPTER 37. I CARE FOR YOU
The memory of how all that beautiful night happened comes to my mind...
"Elliot was on duty out of the city at Quantico, and I was helping Sonya to solve a case from the past of a good friend of hers. Somehow it got complicated... "This is a hardcore predator."
It got dangerous. "He might try to take on someone else."
All because of the recklessness of the media. Our suspect, or rather, the criminal, took revenge against us. "Just make sure it's not you, okay?"
He took revenge on Sonya's life. I can still feel the cold surrounding me while looking my friend's life end in my arms. "Its ok, I got him."
I wasn't able to do a thing. If only I've arrived earlier. I could not protect her as I should have. I could not be with her.
I leave the cold room as Melinda needs to do her job. I wash my hands and watch the water get the reddish tone of her blood. I feel the lump that accumulates in my throat. I move away from the place getting out to the hall. Suddenly I see Elliot in the distance arriving in a hurry. I feel the need to run and hug him. He looks at me and an expression of anxiety is drawn on his face. He speeds up the pace and I start walking towards him.
— I'm really glad you're back.— I tell him trying control the lump in my throat. He doesn't stop at my words but, rather, he hugs me tightly. I really need to feel his support. I surround his neck with my arms and I feel how his breathing (still agitated from his rush) breaks against my ear.
— I should have come back sooner.— he says taking me with more stregth. I can feel a certain fear hidden in his words, as if he was afraid of letting go of me.
—I'm fine.— I assure him, pulling away a little and unconsciously brushing my cheek with his, as if assuring him that I am here. I feel his strong hands tensed on my shoulders and his direct gaze in my eyes.
—Yeah, like hell you are.— I breathe deeply, and try to change the subject. I don't feel ready to talk about what happened, not yet.
—Did you checked the security logs from Harding's office?— I ask him.
—That's why it took me so long to get here. I checked one every male who signed in in the last six months.— He answers back trying to keep his tears inside his eyes. —One name rang a bell.— I feel my shoulders loosen a little.
—Whose?— I wanted to know who was the bastard.
—David Adams, but he doesn't exist.— I look at him with doubt.
—So who was the ghost there to see?—
—Alicia Harding's assistant, Rachel Gray.— I feel a great surprise because we had never really suspect on her. I walk away a little but he stops me. I give him a look trying to calm him down and continue on my way, leaving him alone. I have to close this case.
I enter my apartment. I'm back from Sonya's funeral. It is late but I am not really sleepy. I don't feel like sleeping ... these two days all I can see when I close my eyes is that cold bathroom.
I walk into my kitchen and pull a bottle of wine and a glass from the top shelves. I carefully open it and focus on not spilling while pouring it. A thousand things are going through my mind, the loss of my mother, Sonya's life... Sonya's dead. My own life and my future dead... Elliot.
He did not attend the funeral. I really wanted to see him there. I needed his support. But he was a no-show. Nobody seemed to know where he was. He had not even tell me that he would not attend. The last days of the case, when we managed to catch the killer, he was acting very strange. Tension was evident. He was overprotective. He made sure to have me close to him and he could not take his eyes off me. I can't blame him. I know what it feels like. I would have been the same if he somehow could be the next target of such a predator. But now I can't shake the feeling of something different this time. He became my shadow until the criminal was locked.
The doorbell distracts me from my thoughts, and that's when I notice that a couple of tears were already running down my cheeks. I wipe them off with my thumbs and walk to the door. I peek through the eye and to my surprise I see Elliot standing at the other side of my door... waiting.
— Hey.— I say as soon as I open the door. He doesn't answer me, he watches me again with that strange look. He takes a couple of steps letting himself in. I step a side.
— Where have you been?— I can't help but ask him immediately.
—I had to leave the city ... are you okay?— He doesn't take his eyes off me. His eyebrows show concern. I feel his hand take mine as I try to contain my tears.
— Not really.— I accept. He pulls my hand and I approach him and instinctively snuggle into his chest. His hands immediately fly to my back and he hugs me tightly.
— I shouldn't have left her side.— I try to take out the guilt I feel, but he interrupts me.
— No, I won't let you blame yourself. Please.— I separate from him and take a deep breath.
—I'm not saying that I killed her but ... I shouldn't have left her alone ...— I go back to the kitchen for my glass of wine. I feel him following me, again, like a shadow.
—Do you want some?—I ask pointing to the bottle. He nods and reaches for a second glass. I pour some of the red wine in his glass before pouring some more in mine.
—Come here.— He whispers and takes my hand, again, before I can take a sip. I let him take me to the living room and then take the glass from my hand placing them both on the table. He keeps silent. He is looking for his next words. I can tel by the way he bites his lower lip.
—Ell.— I encourage him. I know I am not the only one who lost a friend.
—Liv, if you had been with her ... you could...— His voice brakes and he fights to clear his throat. — You could be dead.— But his voice breaks down at the last word. I can feel the fear that his gaze radiates. His words. His body. I know the fear pretty well.
—Not necessarily,— I try find the words to reassure him. I can notice the tears accumulated in his eyes. —I could have...— but he shuts me up again.
—I would not be able to forgive myself if something had happened to you.— He says as one tear rolls down his cheek. —I am your partner.—
—It is not your obligation to keep me safe, Elliot.— This is a conversation, or rather a discussion we've face before. But the tone it is totally different right now. He is not blaming me. He is not feeling those words as burden now. — We can't go there again.— I don't feel strong enough to face that conversation right now.
—It's not an obligation.— He states. —I WANT to keep you safe. I care for you.— Listening to those words come out of his mouth is not something I am used to. He takes my hand and comes closer to me, as if wanting to make sure he has all my attention. —When I received the call saying that someone got killed...my heart stopped. It wasn't you who was calling. It wasn't your voice giving me the news.— He explains. —For a moment there I thought you were... dead.— My tears decide to come out of my eyes at the same time his do the same. —I felt a huge guilt for been so far. The bare thought of not seeing you ever again... — His breathing stopped for a second. —...killed me.—The tears are now flowing from his eyes sliding down his cheeks. —But here you are ... safe and sound ...— I feel his warm hands on my cheek.
—Elliot...— I cannot say more because he is pulling me against his body taking me into a heartwarming tight hug. I feel it difficult to breathe, but I do not care. It is comforting. I cling to him and I can feel his breath short of crying just like mine. —My Liv. You are here.— he kisses my forehead without letting go of the hug. I separate very little so that I can lift my face and look at him. His eyes are irritated, and the tears are still looming. He slowly approaches, shortening the distance between our faces. He squats a little. I can feel his breath against my lips, and without hesitation I stretch a little to be able to kiss him.
TO BE CONTINUED...
AN: HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER AND NEXT ONE. THIS FIC DOESN'T HAVE A LOT OF EO PRESENT MOMENTS BECAUSE WELL... ELLIOT IS DEAD. BUT I LIKED TO WRITE THE FLASHBACKS TO UNDERSTAND HOW THEY GOT FINALLY TOGETHER. LET ME KNOW HOW YOU LIKE IT. THANKS FOR READING.
