I put out the candle. While standing in that dark room, almost ashamed, I decided to get back to church. What would come after that didn't matter; Fae was gone and my idiotic efforts against this reality had taken me nowhere. I lifted the sports bag and ascended the staircase, fighting against my tired legs. The hidden doorway wasn't hidden anymore: just a simple wooden door led me back to the office. Sharp sound emerged as I kicked something by accident – the rusty key. I recalled leaving it in the steel door's lock – so now without the lock, it had simply landed on the floor. I threw the key in my pocket and looked around.
That painting of woman in red dress was gone too: the picture of a landscape was still resting on the floor, its frames leaned against a bookshelf, yet the hidden compartment was replaced by solid wall. I was done with these bizarre changes, so I returned to the narrow hallway and followed it to the dining room. A look through the row of windows revealed an evening outside; twilight had landed on the town. It was raining, but not nearly as much as last time: small, lazy droplets kept falling down one by one. Some light still got through the fog; together with the pools of rainwater it gave the streets a metallic, almost faintly silver tint.
I felt strange; this was like a dream with complete self-control. As I walked towards the front door, only then I realized that the cafe's lights had been turned on: warm, orange shine illuminated most tables, but one corner was still inside deep shadows. I looked towards it, towards the calm darkness over the light's border – there was nothing. Scents of coffee and pastries were even stronger than before; some distant sounds appeared and disappeared within one second. I went to the door, looked once more in the dark corner and stepped outside.
Air smelled clean; soft sounds of rain left me standing on the sidewalk, right next to the cafe's tables and parasols, among the mist. Some of the droplets were bright; they twinkled in pure yellow. I turned left and started walking in confusion – an intense glow pushed through the fog; moving and bending constantly. Then, a bed of fire – its chaotic form filtered by water. On Simmons Street, nearby shop was burning; completely covered by soundless flames. Wet asphalt around it had turned into gold; inside the fog pulsated a dim halo. Another one of those faceless, childlike creatures appeared, as it walked with trembling steps from an alleyway. Once again, fire seemed to attract it.
I pulled out the revolver and started walking in haste. A turn left took me on Sagan Street, which would lead straight to the bridge. Two other shops were burning here; I almost stopped while staring at the flames' roots, purely white in colour. Two more creatures stumbled towards fire – one of them kept falling down, seemingly due to a broken leg. As I passed the second burning store, I could feel its hellish, waving heat; it swept across my face and clung on to the wounded hand. One of the childlike humanoids was walking on the opposite side of the street, with its upper body set aflame. That thing was still moving; one pathetic step at a time along the sidewalk – it didn't make a sound.
I got back on the bridge and stopped for a moment; raindrops turned into hail. Some icy grains got under my collar and made me shiver. At least six fires were burning here and there around the central region; I could see their tall pillars of light, reflected and warped by barrier of mist. In that moment everything felt less like a dream – the flames became more and more distant as hailstorm obscured my sight. Once I turned around and started walking across the bridge, the dream got left behind: every step felt more troublesome than the last. Two railings led me towards a gray void; towards nothing but ribbons of fog. The bridge seemed much longer than before, either because the shape had actually changed or because I had no reference anymore: river was completely out of sight, somewhere in that emptiness around me.
Finally an angular silhouette of the control room appeared, with its collection of oil barrels. In front of me was the old town – a group of lightless, abandoned houses like before, shrouded in twilight. As the unreal atmosphere disappeared, physical strain returned: I was suddenly out of breath and completely exhausted. Wounded hand felt heavy and warm, almost hot – but there was no pain. Hail turned into snow; air became freezing. I struggled towards the church, fell down at least twice on my way and pushed the door open. After closing it, I could sense the oncoming fever; my ears and jaw were aching. I dropped the sports bag and threw myself on the nearest bench. As night arrived, complete darkness filled the church. For a very brief moment, I could hear wind blowing on the roof, high above me – then nothing but silence.
I woke up shivering.
Cold light illuminated the hall; freezing air hit my face. It was late morning already; I was still in the church, lying on the bench – and it was snowing outside. Fact by fact I regained awareness and stood up, only to fall immediately down again. Then I noticed her – she was right there, standing next to me; that's why the door was now slightly open. I heard words, yet it took a moment until they made any sense:
''...up, what's wrong?''
A bright, beautiful voice – and the words were expressed with a slightly assertive tone.
''I'm...mom is just tired, don't worry. I'm fine.''
She stared at me, judging the acclaim.
''Hey, don't worry. I was really sleepy, that's all.''
There she was, my daughter – Fae was in front of me, listening to my speech. Alive and well. She was wearing old winter clothes whose original colours had faded; some snow was still left on her gray cap.
''Fae...'' I started, wondering how to continue. In that moment I had no means to make any conclusions – even illogical ones. Did I still have fever? No, it was already gone; she wasn't a hallucination. So was I dreaming? This question appeared slightly more difficult to answer.
''Yeah?''
I looked in her bright eyes – eyes of something impossible. But she didn't feel like anything unnatural; I recognized her without the slightest doubt. Eventually I said:
''...oh, just...say, should we go home now? It's kind of cold in here.''
She nodded.
''Yeah, we can go. I'm hungry.''
''Oh, me too...''
I stood up and went through my pockets; the phone had fallen on floor during my sleep. Next to it was a small, brown item – that rusty key. I picked it up to inspect it closer.
''What's that?'' she asked.
''I'm...not sure. Something I found...''
''Well it looks like a key'' she said almost proudly – Fae has never wasted a chance for verbal jabbing.
''Yes, indeed. But for what?''
I scratched some of the rust away. Three words were engraved on the edge:
General Motors Chevrolet
A moment of thought led me to the abandoned car – the one which had blocked my way through the alley. I couldn't recall its brand, yet a quiet idea was immediately formed: we could try starting the vehicle and just drive out of town. I smiled and returned the key in my pocket. Perhaps this cursed town was now guiding us out – for whatever reason.
''Right, so...shall we go then?'' I continued.
''Are we going to walk home?'' she asked. I'm honestly not sure how serious this question was.
''Oh no, we'll just walk to the car. It's a bit long drive home, but we can take breaks. And we can buy food along the way.''
''Okay'' she said happily and went outside. I picked up the bag and followed her; it was snowing again. Large flakes fell down slowly and smoothly; they had already covered every street and roof with white, soft blankets. We started walking along Bloch Street, holding each other's hands.
''Fae?''
''Mm-hm?''
''How did you find me? You came to the church to wake me up...''
"Yeah, we looked everywhere. First we were at the school and then at restaurants and other places, and then we came to church."
"At the...hold on, I got confused. You were with someone at the school?"
"Yeah, but you were not there."
"Right, I'm sorry. I got kind of lost here...in this town."
"Didn't you have a map?"
"Oh, well...I did. But I'm not very good at reading maps."
"I know."
I laughed. We walked in peaceful silence until getting back to the subject.
"So who was with you at the school?"
"A nice man...but I didn't ask his name."
"Huh. Well, it's good that you didn't have to be alone. What did the man look like?"
"Mmm...pretty old. He had messy hair."
"I guess he didn't have a comb."
"Yeah."
"You remember anything else about him?"
"He was sad, but I didn't ask why. We talked about stuffed animals."
"Really? Was he an expert on those?"
"Hm, maybe. He said he likes them. And then we talked about cartoons and drawings."
"Wow...he really does sound nice. Too bad I didn't get to meet him."
"He didn't really want to see anyone – maybe because he was so sad. But he still helped me look for you. He said he knows this town well."
"That was very kind of him" I replied slowly while getting lost in my thoughts – as it turned out later, Fae had gotten those ancient winter clothes from this man. Even today I have no idea who it could have been.
"Mom?"
"Yeah?"
"Why is your hand like that?" she asked with both interested and worried tone.
"Ah, I was just...clumsy with it. I fell down and got hurt a tiny bit."
"Does it hurt?"
"Oh no, not anymore. Now I feel fine."
She made that decisive face again by pushing her lips together – apparently my explanation had been accepted.
"Your coat is really dirty too."
"It is, indeed. Perhaps I'll buy a new one..."
We took a brief pause. Then I continued:
"...but which colour should I buy?"
"What colour is that coat?"
"Hazel, I think. Should I buy a similar one?"
"Mmm...can you get a blue coat? Or orange?"
"Perhaps I could. We can go shopping together once we get back home."
"Can we buy crayons and paper too?"
"Of course – if we visit South Mall we'll get everything at once. Sounds like you already know what to draw."
"Yeah, a giraffe."
"You ever drawn giraffe before?"
"No. But it's a horse with long neck, and I have drawn a horse."
I squeaked while suppressing a wave of laughter.
"So if I turn the paper around, I can draw a giraffe."
"That's...very clever, Fae" I said while chuckling and grinning.
So we walked through the snow and mist; looked around in the white emptiness and talked about whatever came to her mind. She didn't notice it, but every now and then a few tears would run across my face.
Fae started rubbing her tired eyes – roaming in a ghost town can be exhausting. Once we reached the car, she was half asleep. I stopped for a brief moment: the burned husk of my own car was gone. Not a single stain of ash was left.
''Mom...how far is it?''
''It's right there, look. You can sleep while I drive.''
The brand was indeed Chevrolet. Now all my doubts vanished: we could actually leave together. Fae climbed on the passenger seat and closed her eyes; I had to remind her about the dusty seat belt. It took me a few attempts to get the engine running, but after some dry coughs it reached a steady rhythm. I glanced at the gas meter only after leaving the alleyway: tank contained enough to reach Greenville.
''It's cold here'' Fae said, completely swallowed by the large quilted jacket.
''It gets warm soon, don't worry. I'll stop at the next gas station and buy us something to eat.''
I turned on Midwich Street and passed the school, hidden inside snowy mist. At the end of the street, turn left brought us out of town; led us over the snowy, bleak wilderness. Some trees appeared, and eventually they grew into forest. More and more snow kept falling down.
''Now it's really hot'' said Fae, yawned and took off the jacket. Underneath, she was wearing a blue wool shirt. Some white horizontal stripes ran across it – and I recognized every colour: that was (and still is) one of her favourite shirts during autumn and winter. Once balance in temperature had been reached, she continued sleeping.
Nothing but the engine's soft rumble remained. I can't remember much about the trip back home, but I'm sure we stopped at Greenville. That's where shock took me over: a place filled with other people; pedestrians and traffic – lights and logic. And in my car was sitting a ghost, sleeping like any other child during a long road trip. My hand was still mangled by real nightmares; the fingers were missing, white gauze was wrapped around their stumps. I parked next to a service station and stared at Fae, then at my hand. After a long moment of pure confusion, I got out of the car and filled its tank. Then, once the vehicle had been parked closer to the shop, I had to wake Fae up – I wouldn't let her out of my sight. Not anymore.
''Fae...hey Fae, wanna go get something to eat?''
''Mmmh...are we home now?''
''Not yet, it's still a bit further. We both should eat something before driving there.''
''Hm, okay. Can we get...ice cream?''
''Of course, I think they have ice cream here. Let's go and see.''
Before entering the store, I made sure to leave my own jacket in the car as well – with its faint bloodstains and violent tears.
Inside the store, between the narrow aisles and shelves filled with colourful everyday products, I forgot everything – or rather disregarded everything; I was just shopping with my daughter. And once we got back on the road, all those nonsensical events filled my mind; merged together in a form of one noisy, humming dream. Only much later (a while before I started writing this text) I was able to set them apart. However, the memories never haunted me – they should haunt me, but that isn't the case. On the contrary, actually: today I sleep well.
Drive home was long, yet Fae didn't complain once: she just enjoyed the scenery and our conversations – though I can't remember many details of those. After several breaks and over half a day, we finally reached Allentown. It was almost midnight; streets around Fountain Park were quiet. I turned behind an apartment building; as the car stopped in my parking space, under the electric glow of a lamp post, time stopped as well. My heart was beating and Fae was sleeping next to me – nothing happened. And suddenly, when seconds passed again, things were back to normal.
''Fae, wake up. We're finally home.''
She opened her eyes slowly and looked around.
''You look tired'' she said.
''Heh, really? Well, I could use a nap...''
We stepped out of the car as something started bothering me: did Fae recognize this place? That was impossible – like everything else about her. As we climbed to my apartment and entered the living room, she placed her winter clothes on a sofa and sat next to them.
''Mom, can we watch cartoons?'' she asked and yawned; she could barely keep her eyes open.
''I think we should just rest tonight and watch cartoons in the morning...''
''Mm-hm'' and a tiny nod followed. I led her to the bedroom.
''Are you hungry?''
''No'' she said and shook her head slightly. She climbed on the bed and I placed my blanket over her.
''I'll be in the living room...if you need anything, come tell me. You can wake me up if I'm sleeping.''
Another nod; her bright eyes closed once more. Gently I shut the door, left her to rest and fell on the sofa. It was peaceful; there were no sounds to hear. For a moment I waited for something; that's what it felt like – I expected something to happen, but it never arrived. After some long minutes I gave up and finally calmed down. Behind the windows lingered darkness and the faint glow of streetlights; the balcony was covered in snow – and more kept coming. I walked to the window, still thinking about Fae's reaction: after she had passed away, I had left our house and moved to Allentown – yet she seemed to feel immediately at home here.
Slowly another problem came to my mind: which day was it? According to my laptop, I had spent just a few days on the trip. This seemed, once again, impossible. I couldn't call Sam just yet – in the morning perhaps. Or a bit later since the phone was broken: connecting a charger didn't help, the screen remained pitch-black. Maybe that was for the better; whole device looked revolting to me anyway. I placed it in trash can and returned on the couch, wondering how bizarre everything was – something between reality and dream. And even so, I was truly happy.
For the first time in a very long time.
