AN: I HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING. THANKS FOR READING. I MUST SAY I SPENT LAST NIGHT READING SOME FANFICS THAT ARE INSPIRED ON ELLIOTS RETURN AND OMG... I LOVE IT. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW WILL THEY ACTUALLY MANAGE HIS RETURN AND WHERE HAS HE BEEN ALL THESE YEARS. I AM ACTUALLY THINKING ON WRITING SOMETHING ABOUT IT BUT... I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE SHOW RIGHT NOW... I AM TRYING TO CATCH UP BUT I AM JUST BEGINNING SEASON 16... SO... MAYBE LATER ON.
D: LAW AND ORDER SVU AND ALL ITS CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE.
CHAPTER 40. RESTED
I wake up slowly stretching a little bit just to find out my back hurts. As soon as my eyes get use to the light I take a look around. I find myself lying on my sofa, what really doesn't surprise me anymore. Countless are the times I have woken up out of bed... and a thousand times on this sofa. Which reminds me of how uncomfortable it is.
I get up to sit and carve my eyes with my hands. My skin is cold. A huge yawn comes out of my mouth as I try to separate myself from that long-lived dream. Well, more than a dream, it a was memory. And a very beautiful one. I remain motionless and silent for a few minutes. I dare to investigate what am I feeling. I have to try to identify them again. I think that, if I want to get control of them I have to identify them. I cannot deny that I feel immensely afraid to feel the pain again, and I know that it will come back. Even though I have been living with it for a while now, it is not something I can ever get used to. I think.
While I wait for the pain to appear, another sensation attacks me ... bile! I get up quickly and run to the bathroom, drop onto the toilet and take my hair up as best as I can. But suddenly the nausea disappears. I try to breathe deeply, waiting for them to come back, because after everything I ate last night I am sure I will spend the rest of the night here. Imagining the huge plates of Chinese food in front of me is enough to make my body reject everything again. I really must look like the exorcist's girl right now. Munch is right.
When I finally manage to stop and catch my breath. I stand up again, I flush it making sure not to see inside. I turn on the light and rinse my mouth with cold water. I take out my toothbrush and put a huge amount of toothpaste on it. The mint flavor helps me get rid of the disgust, which I really appreciate.
—This is just beginning, right?— I say, looking up talking to... Elliot. I let out a big sigh and turn around turning off the light. I don't want to see myself on the mirror.
I go back to the living room and take the file of the case, the hospital tests and my blanket. I make sure to lock the front door and turn off all the lights. I don't want to fall asleep in that sofa again so I cautiously walk to my room, turn on the little night lamp and leave the papers and things on the bureau.
I try to keep my mind on every task thinking that this way the pain wont be able to arrive. I take out a clean and warm pajamas. I change my clothes as quick as I can not wanting to feel the cold take over my body. I turn on the heater and I get under the covers. I do not feel like a zombie anymore. I am alert to what is happening around me, more aware of time, and I know perfectly well that the pain in my chest will be here as every night. And as soon as I find myself, once more, alone in my bed hugging his shirt... it appears without mercy to tear me to pieces once more. Until I am asleep again.
The desperate sound of my cell phone announcing an incoming call wakes me up. I hurry to reach the phone and answer it.
—Benson.—I say with a voice so hoarse and sleepy that I don't even recognize myself.
—Hello ... I'm Robinson.— I hear the unknown voice as I try to wake up.
—Who?—
—Detective Samuel Robinson.— my mind begins to work slowly, I try to understand. —You new partner.— My stomach falls at his words.
—Oh. What is it?— I ask not bothering on hiding my annoyance.
—Did you happen to take the case file that was on my desk?— I turn my head and my eyes fly to the folder that is in my night table. I can't help but grimace.
—Yes I have it.—
—Are you planning to come today? We kind of need it.— he says. He doesn't sound annoyed or arrogant, in fact, I can notice he is kind of scared. I reach out to grab my watch... boy, is it late!
—Yes... I won't be long ...—
—Thank you.— I take the phone from my ear to stand up, hang up and rush to take a quick shower. I put on the first thing I find in my closet and quickly take the papers of my night table along with my cellphone and keys before running towards the precinct.
—I'm here.— I say as soon as I get out of the elevator. I walk quickly to the office and watch everyone working around the screens.
—Liv!— The first one to see me is Fin, who greets me with enthusiasm —How did you sleep?— I stop to think for a few seconds. I really haven't slept badly. I even feel rested, and now that I think about it I didn't have any type of dream, memory or nightmare. I actually just simply slept.
—Fine.— I answer with a half smile before turning towards Samuel. —Here is the file.— I say handing the folder over to him.
—Good...you look good, Liv.— Odafin says encouraging me. But I don't let myself believe it because, although I feel good, to be honest I didn't even see myself in the mirror. I have only brushed my hair.. I haven't put a drop of effort on looking good. For a while by one. But it's nice that he is trying to cheer me up.
—So, where are we?— I ask walking straight to the coffee maker. I pour some hot water in a cup and take out a tea bag. And a box of donuts catches my eyes.
—Well, with the help of what the victim told you yesterday ... we found out...— I listen to Munch in the distance while I keep thinking about whether or not to take a delicious donut. — it all matches an old MO we have in the system and...— But before I can take one, the box disappears.
— And these are mine.— Munch says as he already has the donuts wrapped around his chest.
— I just want one.— I complain. He looks at me and carefully lowers the box. Reaches in and takes out a glazed donut. He stretches it oh so very slowly towards me until finally I can take it. I quickly take it to my mouth.
—Is the victim pregnant?— I hear Samuel say behind us. I turn around and notice my medical analysis in his hand. I freeze as the donut and cup fall out of my hands.
TO BE CONTINUED
AN: please let me know if you are still reading and if you are liking it. (Sorry for grammar or spelling mistakes)
