Chapter 34
A/N: thanks for the reviews people. Glad to hear from y'all. As usual, I just own the story and my OCs, that's it.
/comms/
Bold is intercoms/videochats
Telepathy/dreams/flashbacks
"Good news," Shiro clapped as they started their morning meeting, "there's been an upsurge in planets liberated from Galra control. By the Blade of Marmora and rebel forces. Convincing these planets to join our coalition is priority one."
"Oh! Does that mean more Voltron events?" Coran asked excitedly.
"Yes," Shiro smiled as Jaz groaned, "believe it or not the Voltron show-of-arms goes a long way in inspiring others to join the fight." Tapping a pad, Shiro pulled up a map of the universe, motioning to the green planets. "Those green clusters represent planets, and in some cases, entire star systems that've joined our coalition. Not coincidentally, those are also areas we've personally visited."
"All right! Razzle-dazzle time!" Lance cheered stopping in a dramatic pose. "For the war effort of course."
"Sure," Jaz grumbled rolling her eyes.
"Coran, can you set everything up?"
The advisior began twirling his mustache with a mischievous smile, "I know just where to start."
-.-
/Alright, last column's in place. Now this hospital can service the entire sector/
"And that's only the first step in helping these injured war veterans," Coran commented.
Not liking the meaning behind those words, Jaz's head snapped to look at him. "What else is there?"
"You'll see! Voltron! Come on in! It's time!"
"Time for what?!" she demanded chasing after.
They ended up gathering into a small room, where Coran stood peeking out part of the time with a small giggle. "Everyone check your wrist devices, I uploaded a script."
"A script?" Jaz said as they all opened their devices.
"What is this?"
"Yeah, there's barely anyone out there," Lance sighed.
"You know not everything has to be a big dramatic show, Lance," Jaz grumbled.
"Says you! I mean, come on, you could stand to put on a show and be pretty for everyone once and a while," he grumbled.
"You saying I'm not pretty?" Jaz hissed raising her fist as the Blue Paladin yelped.
"Uh, no! That—That's not what I meant at all! You're gorgeous, I'm just saying you should flaunt it every now and then," he hastily corrected.
Jaz scoffed, "You sound like Prince Uldren, he always said I needed to act 'lady-like' too. And for the record, say it again, and I will knock you into the next star system."
"All right, all right," Shiro interrupted, standing between them, "that's enough arguing for the time being."
"Anyways," Coran started, "I scaled down the show so we could do it indoors for the patients, you know, to lift their spirits."
Jaz smiled. "That's really sweet Coran, I used to love helping out at hospitals back home," she said, "but, uh…does it really need to be a play?"
"This isn't even factually accurate," Pidge whined.
"This is the Legend of Voltron, not the documentary of Voltron. Speaking of which, Allura, you'll be playing Keith and Jaz will be playing Allura."
Both women groaned loudly.
"Word of Keith leaving the team hasn't really spread yet," Coran shrugged, "so I didn't want to confuse anyone. Besides, playing Keith is easy, just act really moody." They both growled and crossed their arms. "There you've both got it, but Jaz, you need to relax. You're Princess Allura. Stand stall, be proper, and don't blow anyone up. Come on! Everyone into position! Just follow the script!"
"I hate this already," Jaz grumbled.
"Ladies and gentle-aliens, bear witness as the Paladins of Voltron attack Zarkon's base to save the helpless Princess Allura!" Coran called and the spotlight turned on Shiro who froze and covered his eyes from the blinding light. "Shiro, psst, that's your cue."
"Uh…" he trailed off looking at his script, "I will save the Princess, even if it means taking on the Galra Empire with my bare hand."
"And you won't have to do it alone, because you'll have me, Hunk," the Yellow Paladin read walking up.
"And me, Pidge."
"And me, Lance!" he said bursting onto stage as the only member of the team seeming to enjoy the performance. "Holds bayard dashingly—oh!" he corrected, whipping out his bayard as he got into a pose.
"And me…Keith," Allura grumbled.
"Thank you team for always being by my side through thick or thin," Shiro said pressing a button for his next lines. "Now come along, together we'll…"
"Defeat Zarkon," they all cheered lamely.
Jaz walked out onto stage, arms crossed, and a scowl planted firmly on her face. "My heroes."
The lights turned on and revealed that at somepoint during the show, a majority of the audience left. "Well that bombed," Hunk muttered.
"Speaking of bombs, we need to get back to doing air shows with explosions and lasers…and bombs!" Lance agreed.
"I was hoping to expand our horizions," Coran sighed as they walked past.
"I mean it could've been better if we had a light show in there, right Hunk?" Shiro chuckled.
"Maybe, I could totally build something like that," he shrugged.
Lance nodded, "I'd be down."
"Too bad we don't have anything we could just release whenever we wanted."
"Not unless you count Jaz," Pidge commented, "she's a walking lightshow."
"Well, I have to keep all eyes on me," she snickered.
"Though I do like the idea of that," Hunk smiled. "I mean if we built something into our armor, we could totally use it as emergency distractions, or signal flares."
"Oh!" Pidge's eyes widened as she leapt onto Hunk's back, "What if we added my lion's cloaking too! For stealth missions!"
"I'm loving it! Let's go!" Hunk said and both the Yellow and Green Paladins raced down the hall whooping with excitement.
"Well that was different," Lance muttered.
"Good idea about the pyrotechnics," Jaz complemented punching Shiro's shoulder playfully, "what gave you the idea?"
Shiro frowned, slowing down slightly in confusion. "…I don't know."
"Well whatever it was, thanks," Lance grinned. "I could totally use that to razzle-dazzle."
"And only you could turn an idea that great into something used for stupidity."
"Well I…hey!"
-.-
"Voltron air show here we come!"
"Hope you booked a larger venue this time," Lance muttered.
The screens turned on and everyone stared in confusion. "Are we on the right planet?" Jaz questioned.
"Yes, I'm sure we are."
"I don't think these are the best conditions for an air show."
"Well, if it isn't Team Voltron," a small mole-looking alien accused as he appeared on the screen, "a day late and a fertonium short."
"I'm sorry, is there a problem?" Coran questioned.
"Is there a problem? Yes! Yes, there is a problem! You were supposed to be here yesterday! It was the one day a year we have clear skies. The other seven-hundred-twenty days are like this!"
"Oh, I see my mistake. I forgot to calculate for time dilation."
"Oh, you made a mistake? The entire planet was out of their burrows for Clear-Day just waiting! 'Where's Voltron?' they kept asking."
Coran raised his hands in defense. "Ok, ok, that's on me."
But the insufferable mole-creature continued, "I said to them 'Don't worry, they'll show up,' but did you? No! Then everyone starts turning on me! 'YOU SAID THEY'D BE HERE!'"
The castle rumbled and everyone nearly lost their balance as the floor shook. "What was that?"
Coran began typing and zoomed in on a massive creature near the engines.
"It's a Swathian Meerakeet. They show up every day of the year, except for one. Guess which day?"
"We get it."
"CLEAR DAY!"
"It's ok, they'll chase any beam of light. I'll get it away while we get out of here," Coran said firing a spotlight off into the distance. Firing up the castle engines they took off, leaving the planet.
-.-
Coran sighed, "I'm really sorry about that."
"Coran, if we're going to expand this coalition in the short amount of time we have, we can't afford these kinds of mistakes," Shiro said.
"That last show was kinda lame I don't know if you're cut out to be managing material—ow!" Lance yelped rubbing the back of his head from where Jaz smacked him.
"Just give me one more chance. I promise to turn this around."
-.-
"It's official," Pidge grumbled. "We've reached rock bottom."
"Yeah…" Shiro drawled looking around the mall, "Coran, I don't know if this is the best place to get our message out to the widest audience."
"Shiro, baby, you're right," Coran said. "And I want what you want, man. But I've had some epiphanies, some ideas, some realizations. What we have to do is broadcast a show across an entire galaxy. We could reach the largest viewership in the history of intergalactic showbiz!"
"Aw yeah!" Lance immediately agreed.
"But, we need to workshop some things before we can take it to the next level. You with me kid?" he asked looking at Pidge.
"You seem…different."
He chuckled, "You mean better. Look, it's my mission to make sure our message really sings." He hopped over to Lance, squeezing his cheek, "Beautiful aliens from here to Vlexlar will know your name," Coran then slid over to Shiro, "and your coalition will put the Galra's army to shame."
"Well it rhymes, so it's gotta be true," Hunk shrugged.
Jaz grabbed Coran's collar, pulling him down to look her in the eye, "Who are you and what have you done to Coran?"
"Jazzy girl, please, relax. I'm just giving you all the run-down of our little show," he said taking her hand and patting it.
Shiro sighed, placing his hand on his friend's shoulder before she could rip Coran's head off, "I guess we'll give it a try."
-.-
"Ok," Coran said clapping his hands together, "we've got the air show down, which is great! But, we need to add a theatrical element to expand. The hospital performance was a disaster, but I think it can work out if you follow my guidelines, guys. Rule number one: never walk onto stage, all right? You must leap onto stage, roll onto stage. I'm talkin' explode onto stage!"
"Yes!" Lance grinned pointing at Coran in instant agreement.
"Oh no! A laser-eyed monster! We need the Paladins of Voltron!" Coran recited giving Jaz a thumbs-up as she reluctantly pressed a button starting the rock music before pulling out her phone and recording.
"Guys will get a kick outta this," she smirked wickedly as Allura and Shiro practically flew out from behind the curtain, sumersaulting onto the stage. Pidge used her jetpack to land by them as Hunk begrudgingly rolled out onto the stage, literally. Lance was the last to exit, landing in the center of this posing formation and stretching his hands out. "Your time's up monster!" he exclaimed as the croud began clapping lightly.
"Rule number two: don't just say your line. You've gotta shout that line! Remember, louder is better!"
"KEITH I NEED YOUR HELP!" Lance screamed across the small mall stage as Allura pulled out her bayard.
"I'M ON IT!"
"LOOK OUT! IT'S FIRING ITS LASERS!" Hunk screamed as Jaz began rapidly pressing the button on her console, making the light in the center of the dummy's chest light up wildly.
"And finally, rule three: strike a pose after every movement. Everyone loves a pose."
They all took to action, firing their bayards. Pidge's grappled tied the dummy's arms to its sides as two goo blobs smacked the side of its head. Allura's whip sliced the legs from the torso, as Shiro, flying in from above, swung down with his hand, cutting the "villain" in half. Each one of the almost seamlessly slid into a pose at the end.
"Spread the word! The Voltron Coalition needs you!"
"I would like to join the Voltron Coalition!" one blue alien called raising his fist as everyone cheered and applauded the performance.
"At least the crowd stayed until the end," Pidge said as they all walked backstage.
"And at least I didn't have to play Allura," Jaz snickered as the Princess tossed her an annoyed glance.
"And what is so bad about playing me?"
A teasing smile spread across the Awoken woman's face, "Where do you want me to start?"
"That actually went really well," Shiro grinned.
"Yeah, you're trending galaxy-wide!" Coran agreed patting the Black Paladin on the shoulder. "I mean, you're a four-quadrant hit! Your plus-sevens are plus ten! But that's just the beginning!"
-.-
Their next stop was an oddly-shaped planet that, for some reason, reminded everyone of a bean. "This is our first stadium," Coran said practically dancing with excitement. "So let's get out there and really win some hearts and minds today!"
A tall, thin noodle with arms scurried in, "Bi-boh-bi-bi. Bi-boh-bi-boh."
"All right, you heard Bii-Boh-Bi. Five doboshes. Let's go! Places!" Coran said shoving them out the door.
-.-
"Hello, bii-bohs and boh-biis! Tonight, the Paladins of Voltron take on Zarkon on ice!" Coran exclaimed as Bii-Boh-Bi translated. "Oh no! It's Zarkon! And the evil witch Haggar! They have kidnapped Princess Allura!"
Two Bii-Boh-Bis skated out onto stage, pushing Jaz, wearing a bright pink dress and tiara, ahead of them tied with a rope and gagged. "It it I, the greatest force of evil this universe has ever seen!" the Zarkon actor called out and Jaz looked mildly surprised that it wasn't said in whatever language they spoke.
"Sire, soon you will defeat the paladins, and Voltron will be yours. They cannot resist rescuing our helpless Princess."
"Helfelph!" Jaz's muffled voice snarled as she started struggling, the croud started jeering at the two "villains" of the story, some even demanding they let her go.
"NOT IF I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!" Hunk exclaimed and the crowd cheered as the Yellow Paladin skated out onto the ice, cannon in hand. "Take that Zarkon!" He moved to aim his cannon, and promptly lost his balance, almost doing the splits as he slid between them falling to the ground. The crowd laughed as he slid into a wall and the spotlight landed on Pidge whom stood at the edge of the rink nearby.
"Look! It's Pidge!"
"Don't worry Hunk, I got you back!" she called skating out onto the rink.
"She'll use her math and calculations to defeat Zarkon!" Coran exclaimed as Bi-Boh-Bi translated.
As Katie skated towards them, the Haggar actor slid forwards, throwing forwards a device at her feet. A cloud of smoke erupted and the Green Paladin slid out a moment later, tied up in pink ribbons.
"Oh no! The witch's magic has counteracted Pidge's math! What are they going to do?"
Jaz rolled her eyes as they started playing rock music, the spotlights landing on Shiro, Lance and Allura as they got into position behind them. "We need teamwork!" Shiro announced his voice almost echoing across the arena. "The only way to defeat Zarkon is with Voltron!"
As they slid into their poses, Jaz began trying to undo her restraints. Screw the rescuing the princess plotline, she was gonna save herself.
Of course, her attempts stopped when she saw how they were forming Voltron. Allura and Hunk were on their hands and knees, cheaply made cardboard cutouts of the lion heads on them as Pidge and Lance got on eith side holding their on in their hands, meanwhile, Shiro had to wear a bigger cutout. They slid towards them and the jaws of the red and green lions opened, firing confetti and promptly activating the wires the actors were attached to.
"I'll get you next time!" Zarkon-actor called.
At that moment, Jaz vowed to never let any of them live this situation down. Ever.
-.-
"How many more of these appearances do we have to do?" Pidge questioned once they got backstage.
"I know they seem humiliating—"
"No kidding," Jaz interrupted, "I was just sitting there tied up like a damsel in distress!"
Shiro sighed, continuing with his previous train of thought, "As I was saying, I know you guys aren't the biggest fans of this, but Coran's ideas are working. Every performance draws more people to the cause."
"Exactly," Lance agreed from where he stood by the door signing autographs, "all that stuff."
Coran walked over, herding the girls out, "Ok, alright, we've got business to discuss," he closed the door turning back to face everyone, "First of all. Great job. Tonight was a big success! Now we're back on track and better than ever! There's no doubt about it, you're stars. But to go supernova, you gotta push it even further."
"A supernova is an exploding star," Pidge deadpanned.
"And what could possibly be brighter than that?" Coran remarked practically teleporting to the girl. "Here's the deal. I've worked up very specific personas for each of you. This will help the audience connect on amuch deeper level with each team member. There's Loverboy Lance."
"Loverboy Lance, it's perfect because it's true."
"I'll believe that when you get someone to date you," Jaz remarked and Lance sputtered in indignation.
"You're Science-Wiz Pidge. Whoa! Look out big brain!" Coran hopped over to Allura, "We've got Lone Wolf Keith. That's you 'cause you're Keith. I'm thinking you catchphrase could be like a howl or something."
Allura basically channeled Keith in that moment because her scowl and growl was the exact respoense they all knew he would've given if he were there now.
"That's more of a growl, but we'll work on it. Hunk! From now on, you're Humorous Hunk! And last, but not least, Shiro the Hero!"
"Why don't I get a persona?" Jaz questioned.
"Well you're the Princess, you need to stand there and look pretty!"
-.-
"Remember, you're Humorous Hunk, so be funny," Coran reminded sporting a swollen, black eye.
"Ok…how do I do that?"
Coran raised an eyebrow and pushed him out the curtain, "Don't worry. I've got you covered! Bi-Boh-Bi engage Humorous Hunk."
Racing down the ramp, Hunk barely noticed something being lifted in his path before he was sent tumbling head over heels. Landing on his butt, he didn't have time to process what exactly happened as his bayard landed in front of him. Getting up he bent down to grab it, and the sound of flatulence echoed.
"That—That wasn't me!" he yelped standing straight up, feeling embarrassed. Maybe he shouldn't have eaten that burrito before coming. "I don't know who that was."
As the crowd laughed, Coran slid backstage to see if Jaz was ready for her cue. "Princess Allura, are you—what are you wearing?!"
Jaz smirked as she finished applying her mascara, completing her look. Black leather pants, knee-high silver boots with silver laces and trim, a white corest top with blue accents, and her hair was done up like Princess-turned-General Leia. If she was going to be a Princess, at least she should do it right.
"Well Coran, why be a Princess when you can be a General?" she replied strutting past him and onto stage as the crowd cheered.
-.-
"Coran, I think it would go a long way if I could deliver a speech about how we're trying to unite a front and build a coalition," Shiro proposed as he stood backstage waiting for his part.
"What?! Stop talking! You're Shiro the Hero! Heroes doen't speak! You're a silent ninja."
"What—but—"
"Shh," Coran hushed pressing his finger against the other man's lips. "Zip it. Muscles speak louder than words, right? It's always been my motto. Now, put on this super tight shirt and get out there!" he exclaimed holding up a new shirt as Jaz laughed.
"Ha ha."
"Jaz! I've developed a new act for you! In fact you're all participating!"
"What?!"
-.-
"Guys, the recruitment rallies are amazing. Look at all the green on this map!" Coran exclaimed.
"We certainly had our doubts before," Allura confessed, but I have to admit Coran, your plan is actually working."
"Why thank you Keith—I like to keep you in character—and it's only gonna get better with a few improvements!"
They all glanced between themselves, "More improvements?"
"Please, no more farts," Hunk pleaded.
"Please."
"Hear me out: First, it's time Voltron starts to talk. Everyone's dying to hear what the big guy sounds like."
"He sounds like Kolivan," Jaz deadpanned and everyone looked at her. "What? I can't be the only one whose noticed he looks a lot like him?"
Lance opened his mouth and stopped, blinking for a second, "Wow, she's actually right. I never thought of that. Maybe we could bring him in?"
"I doubt Kolivan would agree," Shiro winced.
"That's great," Coran continued on, "Second: we'll introduce new weapons and outfits for each of you!"
"Coran," Shiro started looking a little tentative, "we only have one more show. After the big intergalactic broadcast, we're done."
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED! WE CAN'T STOP NOW! Coran screeched eye eye twitching.
"Uh, Coran…you feeling ok?" Hunk questioned.
"Yeah, you seem extra twitchy," Lance agreed.
"You must realize that we need to get back to fighting Zarkon," Allura added.
"We are fighting Zarkon! Six nights a week and twice on the astral conflux!"
The door opened, "Bi-bi-boh bi-bi-bi bi-boh bi-bi-bi boh-bi-bi."
"I DON'T CARE IF THE NEW LASER SHOW IS HERE! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT WALKIN' IN WHEN I'M TALKIN' TO THE TALENT?!"
"Boh…" the living noodle whimpered walking out.
"Coran, we have to do our next event, but, after that, no more shows," Shiro said.
The advisor's steely gaze slow turned his way and Shiro almost thought the man would attack him for a moment. "You're all a bunch of quitters! QUITTERS! I'M A VISIONARY! I HAVE THOUGHTS, IDEAS! I DON'T NEED YOU ANYWAYS! I'LL REWRITE THE SHOW! GET RID OF THE WHOLE LOT OF YA! REPLACE YOU WITH NEW PALADINS! AND THE SHOW WILL BE BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE!" he ranted walking out the door. The door opened again and they all jumped at how menacing he looked, "Except for you Shiro. I'll never get rid of you. You're our most popular character! BUT THE REST OF YOU WILL NEVER WORK IN SHOW BUSINESS EVER AGAIN!"
"…Why do I feel like we should suddenly worry for our lives?" Jaz questioned as several of the others made agreeing noises.
Lance, however, was more focused on a different aspect. "Wait…Shiro's the most popular character?"
-.-
"All right, remember guys, this is being broadcasted galaxy-wide," Shiro repeated as they stood at the arena entrance. "It's the final piece in our plan."
"So no pressure," Jaz grinned and the Black Paladin rolled his eyes.
"Let's just make our last appearance our best appearance."
"I'm concerned about Coran," Allura voiced looking down.
Hunk scoffed, "He was getting crazy anyways, he'll realize that soon enough."
"Bi-boh bi-boh-bi!"
"Anyone know what Bii-Boh-Bi is saying?" Lance questioned.
"I'm assuming five minutes to curtain," Jaz shrugged. "Now, let's knock their socks off!"
Going out they began their final performance, aming sure to throw extra flare in for the audience, extra poses, extra yelling, extra effects in the fight scenes.
"Did you hear that rumbling?" Shiro questioned as they all gathered in the center.
"According to my thermal calaculations, there's only one thing that can cause a sound like that: a Galra robeast!" Pidge stated and the crowd jeered.
"Zarkon has sent a robeast to try and destroy us and the planet! We'll show him who's going to destroy who!"
"Everyone, we need to form Voltron!" Shiro exclaimed and the area went black.
A few moments later, the lights returned to life and Voltron landed in center stage. "I am here to defend the universe!"
Rumbling echoed and the ground shook.
"What was that?" Voltron turned to find a beast it wasn't familiar with. Thick armor plating, large ears, bug eyes, and a tawny furred creature stood before them roaring.
/Wow Bii-Boh-Bi has really upped his effects game/ Pidge commented.
The lasers turned on and the beast roared chasing after the lights. /Uh…is that supposed to happen?/ Jaz questioned from where she crouched near the stage entrance ready to provide magic assistance.
It leapt towards the edge of the arena and the crowd screamed before the beast collided with a glowing blue shield as Jaz created a shield to protect them. Meanwhile Voltron raced over, grabbing the tail and flipping it over their shoulder tossing it back into the arena away from the crowd.
The beats opened its mouth and fired a blast that narrowly missed Voltron, blowing up the ground behind it.
/I don't remember rehersing this/
/Who cares they're loving it!/
/Lance, something could go wrong with this one!/ Jaz reminded, /We don't know the attack pattern!/
/Paladins!/ Coran called sounding panicked. /That monster you're fighting onstage is real! I know because I put it there!/
/What?!/
/Coran! What the quiznak?!/
/A brain worm told me to do it!/ he answered. /I'll explain about that bit later/
/So wait, that's not really great special effects?/
/Nope/ Jaz growled creating a shield over the entire arena, separating the audience and Voltron.
/Shield!/ Shiro ordered as the creature's mouth opened again, firing its blast at them.
Red moved forwards, firing back, only for the blast to bounce off. /The lasers aren't working!/
/That thing took a direct hit and we barely did any damage!/
/Jaz, can you see if your magic works!/ Shiro called.
/I'll have to lower the shield to do it/ she informed.
/Do it, we'll cover you/
Nodding, she changed her stance pulling all the energy away from the edge of the arena and towards her. A ball of glowing energy manifested above her head and she hurled it right into the beast. It gave a yowl and smoke blocked their vision, but it still lumbered out, looking a little singed but still very much alive.
/What is that thing made of?!/ Lance exclaimed as they flew back as it pounced.
/I have an idea/ Shiro suggested. /We use the lights from the big screen to lure the monster away from the crowd/
/I've got this!/ Allura stated and Voltron flew up in the air, flipping into a kick. Attaracted by the flashing lights, the creature chased after, leaving the arena.
/Nice job Keith!/
-.-
"I'm so sorry guys," Coran apologized as they all stood on the bridge, dropping the creature back on its own planet. "I shouldn't have trusted that strange Unilu. Looking back it seems like such an obviously bad decision."
"Yeah, worm pills gross," Lance shuddered.
"I didn't mean to take us this far off mission."
"Well, believe it or not, you plan worked," Shiro informed pulling up a map. "Our coalition is bigger than ever."
"What? Really?"
"Yep," Shiro nodded wearing a smirk, "And this is why Drugs Are Bad."
"I officially disown you," Jaz sighed.
And, just fyi, this chapter I felt kinda ended up being another filler, so I do ask that you bear with me for the time being. I've been swamped with just life in general. I just wanted to let y'all know that my writing may be taking a bit of a backseat so updates may be a little sporadic, but I will still be working on this!
Anyways, hope all've y'all have a Merry Christmas! :D
