AN: THANKS FOR READING.

D: LAW AND ORDER SVU AND ALL ITS CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE.

CHAPTER 63 SHARE

I walk on the snow carefully observing the sideboards without much encouragement, my feet begin to hurt, my back kills me with fatigue and my stomach does not stop roaring.

—I think we should stop at the next restaurant.— Casey says hiding a mocking smile.

—Okay, but we must go back for that dress.— Alexandra says walking behind us.

—I already bought three dresses.— I complain remembering the amount of clothes that I already carry in the bags, and not only the pair that I have in my hands but also those that Alex and Casey are caring.

—Another one will not hurt you. And the sales are huge!— Alexandra claims immediately.

—Okay we'll go back but please let's eat something.— I ask her making sure my voice shows my fatigue.

—What are you craving?— Casey asks me with a smile.

—ahm. Italian.— I say pointing to the small Italian restaurant on the corner. It is not a crave but is the nearest restaurant I can find.

—Okay, come on.— a couple more steps and soon I'm sitting in a comfortable chair, inside a warm building ordering pasta and salad.

—When will you see the doctor again?— I hesitate as I try to figure out which day is today and when I am supposed to meet Kyle again. The week went by ridiculously irregular. The days and nights we had to work went by really fast, including New Year's eve which we had to spend working. Concentrating on the case help my mind to distract from zombie land but... the nights I spent home alone went insanely slow. Perhaps even slower than before. The nightmare is still taking control of my unconscious mind and the pain is attacks as soon as I am awake. So, being on the job or shopping with this women is my scape.

— Tomorrow.— I answer after doing the calculations.

—Will you have an ultrasound?— Alexandra asks as we receive our plates of food.

—I don't know.— I honestly say. I have no idea what's next. — I think he just wants to run a blood test.—

—Well, as soon as you have an ultrasound you must let us know.— Casey demands. I just nod my head more focused on getting the pasta in my mouth. It is not bad but I can't help but compare it with the delicacy the Christmas pasta was.

—Of course. You are the first of us to be living this. You have to share the experience.— Alexandra strengths Casey's demand. I nod again and stop the chewing as the statement hits me. I never imagined me been the first of any of us to be... pregnant. I actually thought, sometimes, I was going to be the one that will never experience this. Suddenly my reality doesn't seem so... gray.


I arrive at my apartment completely exhausted. I leave all the bags scattered all around my living room. I close the door and lock the chain in its place. I sit on a sofa and take off my boots stretching my feet as much as I can. I observe at my swollen ankles and silently curse Alexandra for making us go back to not one but three stores. I know that fifth avenue is the best place to buy clothes but walking it twice in a day is not my thing. Not now nor ever.

The blinking light of the answering machine catches my attention. I stretch on the sofa until I reach the phone (because I honestly don't think I can walk up again) and press the button to listen to the message.

—Hi Olivia, its Kyle...ahm... I called your office but they say it's your day off. Samuel gave me your house phone number... ahm... I just wanted to confirm your appointment for tomorrow morning. I'll wait for you at my private practice. Ok?...ahm ... bye.—

—Morning?— I say out loud, what time in the morning? Should I call him back?... is it too late to call?

I leave the phone where I can and lie on the sofa. I take the nearest shopping bag and I get ready to see everything that Alex and Casey has made me buy, a pair of warm and really comfortable blouses. Perfect for the cold. The jeans and pants have a strange elastic thing in the part of the waist which I do not think I will like much to use.

Alexandra insisted on buying clothes "for later", arguing that my belly would grow and that the weather would change. I must have a bit of everything so I ended up buying a pair of dresses. Casey bought me some quite comfortable flat shoes and Alexandra was in charge of finding low ankle boots for the cold and a suitable pajamas. And as I look at everything I fall into a deep sleep.

"His aroma fills my lungs, I desperately search for him all over the bed until I realize that he is here by my side and I find myself in his protective arms.

—Hello.— he says with that smile that I've missed so much.

— Hi ...— I sigh as I cling to him.

—Tired?— He says stroking my hair.

—Yes. I went shopping.— I want to tell him everything I did that day but I feel that time is not enough and I prefer to take enjoy it by feeling him.

—Rest.— he says, kissing my forehead.

—Ell ... I need you.— I whisper feeling how my tears are soon sliding down my face. I curl up again in his arms. I know that this vision of the past will fade at any moment even if I try to avoid it. —I don't want to lose you.—

—Olivia, you will never lose me. I am a part of you as you are of me.— he takes me in his arms with force.

—Promise it.—

—I promise.—"

I open my eyes and notice that I am still on the sofa. I have slept here all night, again. Even though I have learned to identify dreams from reality, I am not able to prevent tears from running down my cheeks. Every time it is more difficult for me to wake up. I know that it will disappear. I know that if he is by my side it is all a dream. I wonder if one day I will juts decide to stay asleep forever. I hope I could.

The pain in my chest makes its usual appearance. The formulation of a promise that cannot be eternal burns inside my mind. Again I find myself alone. I know I have to try and learn to live this way. I have lived alone for must of my life right? Why is this so fucking hard? Suddenly I hear my crying. I try to control it by breathing deeply but it is impossible. The wound does not heal and I fear that it will never heal, that this damage is truly irreversible.

—I am here.— I freeze to hear his voice so clear. I did not expect to hear it ever again. I thought it had disappeared along with my zombie state. But here it is still present. My hand slides up to my belly and then I find the strength to stop my crying. At once.

TO BE CONTINUED...

AN: I ACTUALLY CHANGES THIS CHAPTER A LITTLE BIT FROM THE ORIGINAL VERSION AS I REALIZED (WHILE TRANSLATING IT) THAT ALEXANDRA AND CASEY HAVE NEVER BEEN PREGNANT IN THE SHOW... AT LEAST NOT THAT I KNOW OF. SO I LIKED THE IDEA OF MAKING THAT IMPORTANT IN HERE.

AND WELL... IS OLIVIA MOVING ON... OR IS SHE GOING BACK TO ZOMBIE LAND?

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK OF KYLE? I HOPE YOU CAN LET ME KNOW YOUR OPINIONS.

NEXT: ELLIOT´S FAMILY WILL APPEAR IN THIS STORY... SOON.