AN: THANKS FOR READING AND TO MY ONE REVIEWER. YOU KEEP ME MOTIVATED.

D: LAW AND ORDER SVU AND ALL ITS CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE.

CHAPTER 65 BEAN

I watch him move to prepare the machine, he takes something out of a drawer and approaches the little belly again.

—If I'm not mistaken, you are about six weeks pregnant, so I hope we can see something.— To tell the truth I also hope that we can see something. I hope that seeing it even through a screen will strengthen me a little more. I hope to find the strength to fix myself before I am irreparable.

—This will be a bit cold.— he tells me placing a gel on my skin. It doesn't feel that cold against my skin. He places the metal on the little bundle and glides it gently, concentrating at the screen.

—It must be somewhere around here.— Kyle says in a low tone talking to himself. I just focus my gaze on the small monitor hoping to find it. I feel like my anxiety increases more and more. Only a couple of seconds have passed and for me it feels like an eternity.

—Here you are.— he finally says stopping the device. I bite my lower lip trying to contain the feeling and focus on what Kyle points out. —See? There it is. Beginning to form.— He points to a couple of spots on the monitor. —Can you identify it?—

—ahm...— I nod but. —No... not really.— I confess as I only can see a bunch of nonsense spots. A small giggle leaves Kyle's lips as he looks down. —What's funny?— I ask, starting to feel frustrated.

—I am sorry...— He tries to swallow his laugh without much success, the frustration becomes even bigger and I know that a couple of wrinkles have already formed on my forehead.

—I don't understand. I can't see find it and you think it is funny?!—

—Liv, I am sorry. Let me show you.— He moves the screen a little closer to me and begin to point at it again. —This right here is your little one.— He says surrounding a strange outline.

—That?— Well... I did see that. —That's a bean.— I look at that strange figure with disbelief.

—Did you expect to see a complete baby?.—

I shake my head. —Yes... I guess.— and another curl escapes from his mouth, which doesn't bother me that anymore. I know it's ridiculous to expect to see more at this point. I know this is just a fetus that begins its development, but a part of me seriously hoped to see a complete formed... baby.

—Let me explain, the embryo still looks that way because the cellular layers and the tissue are developing in the head to later form the chin, neck, face and jaw. Then, the eyes and nose will have begun to project as a bulge, as well as the internal structure of the ear.—

—Ear? Can it listen?— I ask without taking my eyes off the little bean on the monitor.

—No, not yet but it won't be long. Next time we will see a complete baby.— He separates the device from my skin and with it the image of my little bean fades.

—Ok.—

—Well, now, I am going to need your medical record, Liv.— He begins to move again to put everything in its place. He offers me a wet towel and I clean my belly while I manage to get out of the examination bed.

—What for?— He approaches and helps me with agility before my feet touch the ground. I have never been clumsy or uncoordinated, I am not used to anyone treating me as I was.

—It is good to know what diseases you have had, which ones you have not, your allergies, especially for the anomalies that are hereditary.—

—Oh... I don't remember having anything serious really, but if it is necessary I will get a copy for you.—

—Yes, please. And the father's will also serve us, Liv.— he says with a little uncertainty on his voice, managing to make me freeze for a few seconds.

—The father's? Ahm... I don't know if I can get those.—

—Look, I did not want to touch the subject before but, well it is necessary. Half of this child is part of the father and therefore his abnormalities can also be hereditary. I don't want any risk.—

—Yes, I understand.— I look down trying to retain the burning feeling in my chest.

—Olivia, is there a problem? Does he know about the pregnancy?— The pain makes an appearance and it is almost impossible for me to stop it. I try to control my breathing to be able to answer him without collapsing.

—No, not really.— Remembering the fact that he will never find out about this doesn't help much and a couple of tears escape my eyes.

—You must tell him.— Kyle states in a very serious voice.

—I can't.— I express with my voice already weak.

—Olivia, he has the right to know, you know that better than anyone.—Something in the tone of his voice shows annoyance. I look up to find his eyes fixed on me.

—I know. It's just that...— my gaze drifts again.

—There is no excuse, a man has the right to know that he will be a father. You must tell him.—

He's really upset, which makes me a little upset myself. He's talking without knowing my reasons. All judgmental.

—Do you think I would not like to tell him?— I ask him with a tone of voice a little higher than I expected. —I would love for him to be here! To be part of this! - The tears start to come out again, and anger does not help to stop them. But I must accept anger makes the burn less strong. A couple of seconds of silence fill the room which I try to use to calm myself.

—Elliot is the father.— He says more as an affirmation than a question.

—Yes.— I say in a whisper.

—I'm sorry, Liv.— The fear invades me when I think of seeing that look in front of me again, the one with which everyone sees me now. Sadness and pity. But, when I look up to meet his eyes there is sadness but not pity. There is something different, it is more like a look of understanding, there is pain. It is like seeing my own eyes in a mirror.

—I can ask for your medical history on the hospital. It is really important to avoid any risk.— He gets up and moves again to reach what seems to be a syringe. —I'll do a couple of analyzes and blood tests, okay?—

—Sure.— She sits next to me and takes my arm around it with the band of the device. —Kyle, thank you.—

TO BE CONTINUED...

AN: THANKS FOR READING. XO.