AN: Thanks to everyone still reading, and special thanks to the ones that had taken their time to send me a review or private message with your encouraging words. I love them!

D: law and order SVU and all its characters are not mine.

CHAPTER 67 A NON-REASON-GIFT

—Melinda? Hey.— I greet her as I open the door.

—Hi Liv, sorry for interrupting.—

—You are not interrupting anything.— only my not so good cooking. —Please come in.— I'm really glad to see her outside that office that smells like medicine and death. It's nice not to have nausea every time I get around her.

—How are you?— She asks me walking inside. I go back to the stove to prevent my food from burning.

—Can't complain.— I answer with honesty before putting the spoon back into my mouth.

—You start noticing.— She tells me, sitting somewhere behind me. I finish savoring my spoon and turn off the fire.

—Do you think?— I ask turning to see her finding her in the armchair at the living room.

—Yes, well, your belly hasn't shown much already, but you do look different. Generally.— She says with a slight smile, which I return before bending down to take out a plate.

—Would you like to have breakfast? I ask her before getting up in case I'll need two plates.

—No thanks, I just had lunch.— Of course she had, it is actually a little late for breakfast. I rush to serve my food and some water before walking to the living room.

—In fact I just came to bring you a gift.— She lets me know while rummaging through her large hand bag.

—A gift? What's the occasion?— My birthday was days ago and I was clear with everyone about not wanting to celebrate or get any gift for that matter. I settle on the other sofa to stick my fork and fill my mouth with a single bite.

—Nothing in particular.—She says dodging the ball that could have hit her if she had said it was a birthday gift. — It's just a no-reason-gift.— She says taking out her purse what she has been looking for to then extend it towards me. I take the book carefully not to throw my plate and I look at it to fin the big letters in the cover: "What to expect when you're expecting."

—I read it during my pregnancy and you have no idea how much it helped me.— I try to chew quickly to be able to swallow the bite and to be able to speak. —It's a whole true guide and tips to try and avoid the discomfort of the first months and carry a comfortable pregnancy.—

—Thank you.— I say even with my mouth still full.

—I have seen how nausea attacks you and I hope the tips there can help you.—

—I hope so too, although actually, with the diet and the vitamins that Kyle has prescribed for me, that nausea has almost despaired.— Melinda's expression suddenly changes. She takes her gaze down and lets out a little sigh as I look how she tries to articulate something.

—How is he?— She finally asks without much encouragement.

—Kyle?— I remember the filling I had a while ago about her having some information about hi. —Fine, I took breakfast with him last week and I didn't notice something wrong. Why?— I dare to ask, hoping that she will give me some explanation, or battle a clue.

—Well, it is not my place to tell.—

—Is it THAT bad?— She nods her head. I knew it was something bad. I have learned to identify the pain in Kyle's gaze whenever some memories comes to his head. I just want to know what those memories are about.

—Almost a year ago he experienced something very painful.— Melinda decides to continue. —I don't know what exactly happened. I once met him in a restaurant with a very pretty woman, at first I thought she was his girlfriend but he introduced her as his sister.— Melinda has started to talk and I think she won't stop. —Very pretty and nice the young woman. The most impressive green eyes I've seen. Apparently she had come to visit him in the city for a few months... I am not sure.— The image of the photo of that beautiful woman I saw in his apartment flies to my mind. The big green eyes. —The thing is, that some time later I went to the Mercy to do some tests for a victim and went to greet him but I couldn't find him in his cubicle. I asked a nurse and she told me that he had not shown up for work for several days, and they did not know why. Before I left I found him at the hospital entrance.— Melinda's expression gets melancholic as she tells her memory, she stops as if looking for how to say it. —He was... destroyed.—

—His sister.— I ask trying to guess why. Mel nodded.

—She passed away.— Melinda says in a whisper. — I never talked to him about it but, people said he got into a several depression... even left the job. That's why I was surprised when you told me that it was he who would carry your pregnancy. I didn't think he was working again.—

—Well... I know he was working when...ahm... when the shooting at the precinct happened.— I tell her not being able to refer to that day as the day Elliot was killed. I can not say those words aloud. But I do remember he was the one who checked me once Samuel and Karen took me out the park. —How long ago did this happened?—

—Maybe a year.— she says and I decide to take another bite of my food while trying to do some math inside my unclear head. —But life goes on and I'm really glad he's better now.— Melinda says letting out yet another sigh.

—Is not like we have a choice.— She takes my hand and smiles.

—Read the book. I am sure it will come handy. I have to go now.—

—Thanks, I'll read it.— She gets up and walks towards the door. I try to get off the couch but she stops me with a hand gesture.

—I know the exit, you finish eating and enjoy your day off.—

—I'll try. I hope Samuel doesn't call me with an emergency.—

—I think he's also busy with Karen.— She says, heading for the door.

—Of course.— He also asked for the day off today. —Thank you for the book.—

—Your welcome. I'll see you.— She opens the door and I see her disappear behind it.

I let out a sigh thinking about that beautiful woman in the photo. They looked so happy. I don't know if I am in any position to ask him about her. Well, I am not, I would only let him know I was nosy at his home. That picture was not for me to see, it wasn't placed in any public area.

The idea takes my eyes to the small picture frame that is face down on my table. I stretch a little to take it and be able to see the image at the hidden side. The burning in my chest intensifies when I see his face so happy next to mine, our smiles detonated enormous happiness. In no time, Elliot had become more than just a co-worker, he became my best friend, someone I could count on no matter what, one of the most important people in my universe, and little by little, without any effort, he became the center of that universe. He became my personal sun.

A couple of months ago that sun had vanished, taking its warmth and light with it, leaving me here... abandoned... dying of pain. Every night I felt that I would not survive anymore, but now I have learned to live like this, and ... a small flame begins to grow ... inside of me. I lower my hand to my belly and let out a couple of tears. Maybe I am not in any position to ask but I certainly am in a familiar position to understand his pain.

I put the picture frame in its place, but this time standing up. I want to see that photo every day and be able to remember his face so happy whenever I see it. It doesn't matter if it causes me a bit of burning, because the happiness it now brings me is greater. It helps me picture that same smile in the little bean growing inside me.

I finish eating what is left on my plate and take Melinda's book. I open it and look at the content part focusing on the chapters title.

"Part 1: First Things First

Chapter 1: Before You Conceive"

Ok, a little too late for that one.

"Chapter 2: Are You Pregnant?"

Yes, yes I am.

"Chapter 3: Your Pregnancy Profile."

There we go.

TO BE CONTINUED...

An: hope you enjoyed.

I have never been pregnant but I did read some chapters of the book mentioned in this chapter and... OMG... I have no plans on getting pregnant anytime soon... but it did help me to rewrite some parts of this story.

Have you been pregnant? I would appreciate your incomes on this matter.

Stay Safe.