AN: THANKS FOR READING. THANKS SUSANIL4 FOR YOUR CONSTANT REVIEWS, YOU KEEP ME GOING. XO
D: LAW AND ORDER SVY AND ALL ITS CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE.
CH 68 THE ASSUMPTION
Samuel's POV:
I am working on my paperwork. At first it was hard, even the paperwork, it is a reminder of the pain the victims shared with us and the powerless the damn perps give us every time they walk out that door. But, I feel that I am beginning to control the anger. Having actually got almost all of the pervs to walk back into jail had helped. It has has been difficult. I have received two reprimands in such a short time but I am really trying. Besides, I don't have many options, I can't go back to Homicides and, if I am been honest with myself, I am feeling fine here. I have formed strong ties with my colleagues, maybe because of the things that we see everyday. Although at the beginning it was not easy. They lost a great man, and filling an empty space is impossible.
Involuntarily my eyes move up towards the empty desk and the woman sitting in front of it. Months have passed now. She has been immersed in a loneliness that seems terrible.
I leave the paperwork in peace and observe her more carefully. She is comfortably leaning on the back of her chair totally concentrated on the book she had been reading for days now. She does not even take her eyes off it when she takes a sip of her tea. Wherever we go the book goes with us. It is funny actually. A few days ago we were going to the crime scene and while I was concentrating on the road she kept her gaze on the window, until, out of nowhere, she bent down to get the book out from under the seat and desperately started leafing through it, which amused me a lot.
Now she is so focused that even if an express train passed by her side she would not notice. I gingerly get up and approach silently, waiting to see if she notices my proximity but she doesn't flinch one bit.
—Benson!— The poor woman gave a huge jump, throwing her book into the air and bringing her hand directly to her chest.
—What the... Samuel!— She yells at me, with her big brown eyes almost popping out of place.
—I'm sorry.— I say in between laughs. —I'm really... haha haha... sorry.—
—You're an idiot.— She says, actually starting to laugh asa she hits me lightly with her hand. I think I have never seen her laugh. I try to stop and bend down to pick up her book. I take the opportunity to see what it is about.
—What to expect when you are expecting. Is it good?— I ask her already knowing her answer. I hand it to her.
—Yes, it has helped me A LOT. You should buy it to Karen.—
—Sure, but it won't be long now.— I feel the nerves running through me, just thinking how little it is left for me to become a father.
—How far along is she?—
—Already nine, we are just waiting. I even have this special cell phone.— I tell her taking the small device out of my pocket and right then and there it starts vibrating in my hand followed by the strong ringtone. I feel like my skin freezes.
—Samuel ... it's ringing.— I hear Olivia's voice in the distance. —Sam!— I can't move one single one of my muscles. This phone would only ring if... it is happening.
—Hello?... yes he is here...— Suddenly the phone is no longer on my hand. I move my gaze to see Liv with it on her ear. She looks at me and offers it to me. I approach and quickly take it off.
—Ey babe. It's happening?... ok breathe... I'm on my way.— I hang up and rush to take my keys and run out of the place.
OLIVIA'S POV:
Samuel left the place so quickly that there was no time to ask anything. He was so pale that I wasn't sure if he was having a panic freeze attack. Maybe he shouldn't go alone.
—Olivia, where did he took off?— The captain asks from his office door.
—ahm... I think to have a child.— I say still stunned looking towards the door.
— Already?— Fin says approaching to me and I just nod.
—Fin, go with him.— Cragen says making Fin rush out. —Munch finish his paperwork please.—
—Uhm.— Munch makes a complain noise but he is already walking towards Samuel's desk. I could help him because I have finished mine a while ago. But it will not be long before I have to take off to my doctor's appointment so I decide to stay silent.
—Liv, are you done?— Captain asks me.
—Yes, I was just about to take it to your office.— I say to Cragen, looking down to take the folder with the papers. I open the drawer so I can take out a pen and sign them, and while I look for it something catches my eyes. I take it in my hand and the burning in my chest intensify as I watch the small object. I can't remember how it got into my drawer. I don't even remember the last time I saw it. His badge.
"Be strong." I give a little jump as I listen to his voice.
—Hey, everything okay?— Munch asks approaching me.
—yes.— I whisper.
—I put it in there.— He confesses. —Dickie brought it. He thought you would want to keep it.— I look at him with doubt trying to keep the tears in my eyes.
—Thank you.— my voice breaks giving me away. He puts his hand on my shoulder. —I have to take this.— I express trying to avoid that silence that bothers me so much. Munch just nods not been a fan of emotive moments himself. I take the papers, put the badge in my pocket and walk to the office.
—Here they are.— I tell Cragen, putting them on his desk.
—Thanks Olivia. You can withdraw.—
—Thank you, I have a doctor's appointment.— I express clumsily pointing to my little belly.
—How are things going?— He asks with slight smile on his face.
—Fine, today I will have my second ultrasound.—. Shai ring this stuff with him gives a little warm to my heart.
—The second already? Nice. You'll have you your license soon.—
—Oh, I don't think I need to...—
—It wasn't a question. Do you expect me to let you take some risk?—
—No, but, I'm fine.I don't like desk work.—
—Olivia.— He walks around his desk and closes the door letting me know another emotive moment is coming. —You know that you are like a daughter to me, right?— I just nod my head. —I'll take care of you Olivia, I don't want to see you in any bad situation.—
—Thank you.— I approach and hug him tightly, he returns the hug with the same emotion. —Really... thank you.— I repeat as we separate.
—And... I know you don't like to bring it up, but, you know you're not alone, and if the father doesn't want to...—
—No.— I stop him immediately. —It is not like that.— I am starting to hate this assumption everyone is appearing to have.
—Sorry, but just in case, you know that we are here, right?—
—Yes. Thank you.— And, even though I know he was trying to get the information I decide not to say more on the matter. —I really have to go. See you tomorrow.— I say and leave his office. I take my things and say goodbye to Munch.
I think it would be a thousand times better if they knew about the truth once and for all. It is much better than they thinking that some random guy abandoned me... by choice.
TO BE CONTINUED...
AN: THANKS. STAY SAFE.
