I knew if I had 2 parts done that this story would be a sure thing. I have a bad habit of starting a fic and giving up, and I didn't want to post this only to have to delete it because I couldn't find a way to continue. Plus with all the ideas I kept getting and my notes outlined, I didn't want to stop (but a full time job can get in the way).

I also find that ending a chapter on a cliffhanger might also be an incentive for me to continue, so I tried to do that here.


Aziraphale was humming to himself while preparing an assortment of sweets in the kitchen. "And…that should be enough."

This was going to be the perfect opportunity for Crowley to help himself to a cupcake or brownie or muffin or cookie or two as Aziraphale had his back to the table. Crowley slithered into the kitchen—something he had also perfected in human form—slunk over to the counter, reached for an apple fritter, and was promptly slapped in the hand. "AH!" The former snake hissed at being struck.

"Don't think I didn't know what you were up to."

Crowley rubbed his newly sore hand. "Dammit, Angel!"

"Those are not for you, and you know it. You may help yourself after Adam and his friends have."

"What harm can come from eating just one?" Aziraphale quirked a brow as if to question 'did you really just me ask that'. "You tempt someone eating an apple one time…"

"Yoo-hoo!" this was how Madame Tracy announced her presence before even knocking.

"You may come in Tracy," Aziraphale allowed as he snapped his fingers.

"Good afternoon Aziraphale. Crowley." Crowley waved with the hand that wasn't struck. "I would have phoned to let you know I was on my way, but something seems to be wrong with my mobile. I figured something was amiss when even Mr. Shadwell's mobile wouldn't work—you know how old that thing is." As if on cue, Mr. Shadwell (formerly Sergeant Shadwell of the Witchfinder Army) came into the cottage carrying a communication device that seemed a bit too large for cellular use.

"Apparently older than we thought," Crowley commentated.

"Afternoon lads," Shadwell greeted as he displayed his item. "I see ye've noticed me portable transceiver. Got it fer a bargain, I did."

"His what?"

"I believe it is also known as a 'walkie-talkie'," Aziraphale explained. "I say, this would be rather convenient for communication. Mr. Shadwell, did you bring the other one?"

"Other one?"

"Yes, you buy those in pairs. They are two-way radio transceivers in which you can receive and reply to messages. Otherwise-"

"I'm not daft ye Southern Pansy," believe it or not, this was Shadwell being polite to Aziraphale. "I dinna have an other one."

"Mr. Shadwell purchased this at the rummage sale we went to on our way over," Tracy explained. "It was only sold singularly."

"Aye, so?"

"So it won't be of much use, Mr. S."

"It may seem that way to you, Jezebel," did Madame Tracy became aroused by that? "but I bought it fer it's parts. I can take 'er apart and use wha she's got fer fixin'."

"Fixin'?" Crowley made sure he heard correctly.

"Aye, fixin'!" He began looking the item. "I'll not have me money go to waste and make use fer this one way or anotha."

"Rather than purchase new furniture or household appliances, Mr. Shadwell has been repairing ones we purchase at discount prices," Tracy clarified.

"Pro'bly explains all the rummage sales you're goin' to," Crowley noted.

"With our wedding and us moving to Tadfield, money is a bit tight. However, the community has been participating in a week-long rummage sale and it seemed only fair to take advantage of it."

"It really is a rather fun shopping excursion," Aziraphale praised. "Perhaps you would like to join us, Crowley Dear?"

"Perhaps not," Crowley declined.

"Oh Tracy, I hope you don't mind me inviting others on our little adventure." Crowley rolled his eyes at Aziraphale's use of the word 'adventure'. "I took the liberty of inviting Newton to join us."

Tracy didn't mind at all. "The more the merrier. Although after our last recent sale, Mr. Shadwell will not be joining us this afternoon."

"Actually, we were hoping to ask Mr. Shadwell for a favor. We invited Adam and his friends over so that they may study and-"

"We?" Crowley interrupted.

Aziraphale sighed. "I invited them over."

Tracy giggled. "I swear you two are more married than me and Mr. S."

The angel cleared his throat and continued on. "Yes, well, Crowley doesn't exactly feel comfortable watching the children by himself and was hoping Mr. Shadwell would stay and help look after them."

"He'd be delighted to!"

This drew Shadwell's attention away from the transceiver. "I'd wot now?" His wife gave him a look. "Ach, fine! I'll help watch the wee ones."

"There's a good lad," Tracy rewarded her husband with a kiss.

"Mark my words, Woman: them wicked wiles o' yers won' last fureva and I won' a-be victim to yer ways of harlotry."

Tracy simply smiled at him…and then waited until he wasn't looking to give his bottom a pinch. "We must save that kind of talk for the bedroom, Mr. S."

While this was a tad uncomfortable for the angel to demon to watch, only the latter was able to verbally express a disgusted "Ngk."

"Yes, well," this was Aziraphale's way to start a new focus, "I suppose I'm ready to go whenever you are, Tracy Dear. Make our first stop at Jasmine Cottage to see if Newton would like to join us; perhaps ask him for use of his vehicle." Aziraphale turned to Crowley. "I figured it would be a moot point to ask if we may use the Bentley."

"You'd figure correctly."

"It goes too fast for me anyway." Aziraphale crossed over to the lady and extended his arm. "Shall we?"

"Ooh," Tracy looped her arm around his, "such a proper gentleman."

"Such a proper pansy," Shadwell's muttering resulted in a reprimanding tap upside the head by his wife. "Ach! Be off wi' ye, Woman!"

"We'll try to return before it gets dark," Aziraphale informed the significant others. "Ta-ta for now."

"Bye Angel," Crowley waited until they were out of sight before hurrying back to the counter where the sweets were waiting. With a slightly sinister chuckle, he reached for a pastry. "Come to-AH!" he had to quickly pull his hand away upon touching the pastry. "What the…" he reached for another dessert, but it had the same effect. "Oh, for Satan's sake!" It was then that Crowley noticed a note next to the goodies. "Crowley: did you really think it would be so easy? Love, Aziraphale." Crowley couldn't help but grin with pride. "That beautiful bastard."

"Everything okay?" hearing the feminine voice made Crowley jump in surprise.

"Oh, Book Girl, it's you. Kinda forgot you were here; you've been so quiet."

"Well, you haven't been so quiet. I heard you scream like you got burned or something."

"Yeah, something."

Anathema noticed the junk food on the counter. "Ooh, those doughnuts look good," she went to reach for one.

"Anathema, wait, don't-" she was able to help herself to a doughnut much to his shock.

"Don't what?"

"Why didn't you…" Crowley felt the need to go over the note that had seemed to appear out of nowhere. "I will make an exception for Anathema because she is eating for two." The noise the demon made was a mix between a growl and a hiss.

Anathema looked over his shoulder at the note. "Make an exception for Anathema?"

"Aziraphale's done something so I can't get any desserts. At least not until after Adam and his friends do." Anathema shrugged and reached for another sweet. "Way to rub it in, Book Girl."

"I'm eating for two now."

"I'm eating for two now," the demon mocked.

She smugly bit on her cookie as she headed back up the stairs. "Afternoon, Mr. Shadwell."

"Witch," the former Witchfinder Sergeant acknowledged her as he began to tinker with his gadget. "Mista Crowley: will ye be joinin' me in watchin' over the wee ones?"

Crowley tried to figure what Shadwell was saying. "Will I…oh, will I help you watch the children?"

"Aye; wot'd ye think I was sayin'?"

"Your Scottish Brogue is a lot thicker than my demon tongue." Crowley sat on the sofa. "I s'pose I will, by the way; though I don't want to spend my day watching over teenagers."

"Nor I. Not really sure wha ta do wi' 'em."

"Exactly!"

"Ya think they're old enough to learn how to pop a shoulder back in place?"

Crowley shot him a suspicious look. "Why?"

"Eh..." Shadwell's eyes darted back and forth, "...no reason."

"Right, moving on. Having not properly grown up as a human, I'm not really sure what to do with teenagers. No idea what they're into nowadays," he turned to the Scotsman. "What did you do as a teenager, Shadwell?"

Shadwell pondered that. "I dinna remember. I'm sure I went about lookin' fer witches."

"I bet that made you popular."

"If I wasn't doin' that I was gettin' laid, poppin' pills, and playin' in me band."

"A band?"

"Aye."

"Like a rock 'n roll band?"

"Aye."

"What: did you play the bagpipes?"

"Rhythm guitar. Was also the lead singer."

Crowley was genuinely surprised. "No shit?"

"Dinna last long though—prob'ly 'cause o' the drugs."

"Prob'ly, yeah." Someone knocked on the screen door before entering. "It's open!"

The source stepped in with his dog close behind. "Hello, Mr. Crowley."

"Hello, Adam." Dog barked. "Hello, Dog."

"I hope you don't mind that I'm a half hour early."

"Nah! Help yourself to some sweets."

"Maybe later. I just came by to set up and make sure we had we needed. Oh, and I ran into Newt on my way over. He asked me to give a message to Anathema. Is she here?"

"Book Girl? Yeah, she's in the guest room. OY, BOOK GIRL!"

"You really didn't have to yell. I could have just gone up and told her."

"She needs the exercise if she's gonna keep eating for two. BOOK GIRL!"

"I hear you," Anathema told him as she came down the stairs. "Hi Adam."

"Hi Anathema," Adam greeted.

"What brings you here?"

"Pepper, Wensley, Brian, and me," Dog barked, "and Dog are getting together to study for mid-term exams. We weren't sure who's house to go to and asked Mr. Aziraphale if we could use his."

"You could have come to my cottage."

"Dog doesn't like to go in for some reason. Not sure why. He only does because I tell him to. There's also more room for us here and a lot less nice things that could accidentally get broken. Anyway: I also had a message for you from Newt." This made Anathema roll his eyes. "He says he's going with Mr. Aziraphale and Madame Tracy if you need him."

"I won't."

"And that your last antenatal class is in a half hour."

"Lamaze class."

"He also told me you'd say that and now that you live in the U.K. it's 'antenatal'."

"Wait, a half hour!" She reached for her phone to confirm the time. "Right, the phones don't work."

Crowley raised his hand and pointed to himself. "You're welcome."

Not having her glasses on her, Anathema pulled up Adam's arm to look at his watch. "Damn!"

"You don't have to go, you know."

"Newt did say he'd rather you didn't go alone," Adam added.

Anathema huffed at this. "Oh, did he? Just for that, I think I will go to class on my own."

"I don't think you should go alone either." Anathema quirked her brow at the former Antichrist. "You can't always be sure nothing will go wrong. If something happens, the mobiles don't work."

"But the landlines do."

"Does your class have a landline?"

"I'm sure it does."

"Do you know what number to call without your mobile?"

"Okay, fair. I won't go alone," Anathema conceded. "But who am I going to get to go with me?" Both she and Adam (and even Dog) turned to Crowley.

Crowley looked behind him before realizing they meant him. "What, me?" He rose up like a hot potato. "Oh no! No! No! No! No! And no!

"Why not?"

"I don't do antenatal classes."

"Lamaze."

"Whatever! The point is I'm not going. It mostly has to do with the fact that I am rubbish with babies and anything having to do with them."

"But it's antenatal," Adam put an emphasis on that term, "that means the babies aren't even born." He looked somewhat pleased with himself. "We're learning that in our health class."

"Besides, you're the only one who can get me to class on time because you have a car," Anathema pointed out.

"You don't have to stay here with us, Mr. Crowley."

It was as if the little light switch in Crowley's head flicked 'on'. "Hey, yeah. If I take Book Girl to this, then I don't have to be here to babysit you and your friends. Shadwell will be here to look after the Them, which will make Aziraphale happy. And I s'pose Disaster Boy will feel better knowing we didn't leave you completely alone." He considered something else. "Plus, 's not like the babies are actually born yet, so I won't have to interact with any."

Anathema looked pleased. "Sounds like you talked yourself into it."

"Alright Book Girl: I'll take you to your birthing class." No sooner did he say that did the former demon shiver.

"You okay?"

"Oh sure," Crowley snapped his fingers to put on his leather jacket, "just got a bit of a chill there for a second."


The last line in this chapter is a throwback to the last line in the first chapter (but with the different significant others). Oh yes, and I did throw another reference in there if you caught it.

Apologies if I mangled the Scottish (or even British) dialect by the way.