AN: THANKS FOR READING.
D: LAW AND ORDER SVU AND ALL ITS CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE.
CHAPTER 75 QUESTIONS
—Can I come in?— I hear Lizzie's voice behind me.
—Ahm ... wait a minute.— I hurriedly say slipping into the dress. —Come in.— I say trying not to seem nervous.
—Breakfast is almost ready.— she says, entering and closing the door behind her.
—Thanks. Let's helps your grandma.— I say putting on my dry sandals.
—Wait... I just wanted to...— She throws herself on the bed, letting her head hang and her long yellow hair slides almost to the floor.
—What's up?—
—Well, I wanted to ask you something about my dad since yesterday but... I never found the moment and my Grandma was there and... ahm...—
—You can ask me anything.— I assure her trying to get her to trust.
—Yes...ahm. Well I have a doubt and I hope it is not out of place.— Her expression is doubtful. I try to turn my head a little so I can see her to the eye. —Well ... ahm... did you and him ever...— I think I begin to understand in which direction she is going. I try not to show my surprise and I sit on the edge of the bed and we see each other through of the reflection in the mirror. Trying to control the uncomfortable feeling that is attacking me.—Don't get me wrong. I know he was never unfaithful to my mom but ... ahm... I was wondering if after the divorce... you guys...— She is having a hard time herself.
—Just ask.— I encourage her not wanting to have to answer an unclear question.
—Well, did you ever try to have a relationship..you know... as in romantic?— I stay silent for a couple of seconds thinking about her question, and what should I answer. The literally true answer to her question is "NO" cause what happened was not planned nor can I know how it would have ended. We didn't have time to try it.
—Not really.— So I answer the literal true while making sure my belly stays hidden.
—Ever?— I can notice some disappointment in the way she says it. —But why?!— She complains raising her arms.
—Well Lizzie, we were partners at work and that's against the rules.— I decide to go to the same answer I have always said myself around that subject.
—Rules are made to brake them.— She says frowning. —I would have liked to see you together.— I can't help but smile while holding back a laughter at such a revelation.
—What?— The laugh comes from my throat although I try to stop it. —Are you serious right now?—
—Don't laugh, Olivia!— She complains. —Didn't you love him?— She asks getting into a sitting position to give me an annoyed look.
—I am sorry, I wasn't expecting this.— I say avoiding her question.
—Answer me!— She says even more annoyed. I calm my laugh and breathe deeply. —Did you love him?—
—Of course I did.— I accept feeling a warm inside.
—Then what happened?— She asks still annoyed. —He loved you too, you know! Damn it, how many times did I tell him to go for it!— I freeze at her sudden revelation. She had told him to what? —He never told you?! Really!?— Okay now I'm very confused.
—Elizabeth!— I hear Richard's voice entering the room —We agreed we wouldn't ask her!— He complains scolding his sister letting us know he has been listening.
—I know but... Agh!— The young woman looks really upset.
—Okay, kids. What's up?— I ask, understanding they have talked about this before.
—Nothing, Liv. It doesn't matter anymore.— Richard says trying to avoid the subject.
—It matters to me. A lot.— I sincerely express but my stomach rumbles interrupting the moment.
—You are hungry. Let's have breakfast, Grandma is waiting for us.— Richard says with a serious expression on his face. His dad's serious expression. —Come on.— I nod and decide to follow his command not been ready to keep up with the conversation. He lets me get out of the room first and they both follow arguing in a low voice.
Bernie served us the pancakes and during breakfast we talked about other topics. School projects, vacations, the painting art gallery of Long Island. None of which really interest me. Elizabeth's question keeps dancing inside my mind and the twins having a secret about it is really what I want to talk about. But now I don't find the moment to bring it back up. Elizabeth made it clear she didn't want to ask me that particular question in front of Bernie and, I think, I have to respect that. The breakfast is soon over and they both rushed to help clean the table. I decide to follow and start washing the dishes before Bernie can do it.
—Olivia...— But she soon notices and her scolding tone is right behind me.— Leave that.— She complains.
—No.— I say firmly this time. —I want to help, and it is refreshing.— I explain referring to the water that falls on my hands when doing it. She gives me a look of disagreement but does not try to stop me anymore. I watch the twins through the kitchen window, still arguing as they walk to the sea taking off their clothes to leave only on their bathing suits. They made sure to escape from me.
—Kids! Don't swim much, you just ate.— Bernie yells.
—We'll only be on the shore!— Lizzie yells as she enters the water. She is so much like her father, so stubborn and desperate. I love seeing them ... they both have a part of him.
—Oh, I love those kids.— Bernie asks, cleaning the stove.
—They are great kids.— I focus on not letting any plate or glass slip my hands.
—What about you, Liv?— Bernie tries to keep a conversation. —Don't you want children?— She asks calmly continuing with her cleaning task behind me. I look through the window and the image of the ultrasound picture comes to my mind making a smile appear on my face.
—Of course I do.— I answer finishing my own task, making sure to accommodate the last dish on the drainer.
—You will be a good mother.— She affirms, offering me the towel to dry my hands which I accept trying to avoid her eyes.
—I hope so. I didn't exactly have a good example to follow.— The memory of my mother comes to my mind and I hurry to erase it as quick as I can.
—You're not going to tell me, are you?— I turn my head to see Bernie standing next to me, giving me a warm look.
—What?— I ask with doubt. I don't understand what she's talking about, she just smiles.
—How far along are you?— I feel like my blood freezes at such a question. Is he talking about what I think she is talking? How did she realize? Since when?!
—What?— I ask trying to buy some time to think how to handle this. She lets out a small laugh and points to my belly with an even bigger smile. Ok, I've definitely been busted.
—I'm old, Olivia. I could see it in your eyes as soon as you arrived.— In my eyes? Sure. What is she a witch? —And... I usually get up early to walk on the beach with the sunrise.— She says with a somewhat mocking tone. Oh. She is not a which, she was somewhere there this morning.
—Did you see me?— I ask without been able to hide my nervous. She just nods her head. Even when I tried to sneak away and hide it, she saw me, and I didn't even notice her. Way to go detective skills.
—So, how far along are you?— She repeats the unanswered question with a twinkle in her eyes.
—Three months and a couple of weeks.— And I have no choice but to answer. My hands are already sweating. I'm afraid that she will ask the same question that everyone asks, "who is the father?". What will I tell her then? Maybe I can find an answer that doesn't give up all the information. Maybe I can lie.
—Liv.— But she is not giving me any time to think. —Is it my grandchild?—
TO BE CONTINUED...
AN: GUESS THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG.
