"You want to get on the freeway," Anathema was giving directions from the passenger seat.

"On the M-25?!" Crowley questioned. "Woman, you must be joking!"

"It's the fastest way to the hospital."

"Nah-uh," he drove on, "we're taking the scenic route. I'm not going to be trapped in a Hellscape of my own creation in another emergency. Buckle up, Book Girl," Crowley slammed his foot on the accelerator and the car seemed to go beyond maximum speed. When Anathema cried out in agony, the demon did the same. "Why are you doing that? Don't do that!"

"It's the contractions; they're getting closer."

"Then move them back!"

"It doesn't work that way." She blew out some breaths.

"There's gotta be something you can do to make them stop."

"I can have the baby in your car."

"I'd rather you didn't. And if it's not too much trouble, try not to sneeze either." She didn't reply. "Anathema?"

"I'm gonna be sick."

"Nuh-uh," Crowley used his powers to summon a small trash receptacle for Anathema to regurgitate in—which lucky for him, she managed to do in time. "Aziraphale will know what to do! Call Aziraphale." No response. "CALL. AZIRAPHALE."

"The phones aren't working, remember."

"Dammit!" Of course that would come back to bite him in the ass. "I'm too far from the service site to fix it."

"Can't you tell your car to call your home phone?"

"That was what I forgot on my to-do list!"

"What?"

"Hook up the house phone! Need to remember that for later."

"What about now? How are we going to get in touch with anyone in Tadfield?"

"I may know a way. I think I can remember what to do, but it'll require me using my powers."

"I'm okay with that."

"The problem is there needs to be some kind of communication device on the other end. I'd suggest the computer, but Aziraphale doesn't really know how to use it. And if Disaster Boy is anywhere near a computer, things won't end well."

"What about Shadwell? Does he know how to use a computer?"

"Doubt it. Any sort of technology that old codger has I guarantee isn't from this century. Like that weird thing he brought to the cottage earlier."

"That thing he was looking at when I came downstairs?"

"Yeah, what's that stupid name Angel called it?" Crowley remembered something. "Hold on a tick." He thought it through. "If I do this right, I can get a message through my car radio to Shadwell's thing."

"You think you can do it?"

"What have we got to lose?"

"Bye guys," Adam saw his friends off before going back into the cottage with Dog.

"Ye still here, Laddie?" Shadwell inquired.

"I'm not sure if I want to go home yet. Plus, I feel I should thank Mr. Aziraphale in person for letting me use the cottage and giving us sweets."

Shadwell shrugged. "Suit yerself."

"Mr. Shadwell, what did you mean when you said we're learning things that won't help us in the future?"

"I men wha I said. Public schools dinna teach ya things ya need to know later in life. Everythin' ya nee' ta know comes from experience." He noticed Adam taking in what he was saying. "Lad, I'm prob'ly not the best person ta get advice from. I dinna even finish school. Ye should finish; be good fer ye in the future when ye get a 'real job'."

"Maybe you could teach me things I'll need to know that I won't learn in school."

The older man considered this. "I s'pose. Ever had to pop a shoulder back in place?"

"Um…no?"

"Oh, that's gonna be real handy ta learn. See, wha ye do-"

"SHADWELL!" this voice didn't belong to Adam.

"I dinna know ye could do ventriloquism, Lad."

"I think that was Mr. Crowley," Adam told him. "Mr. Crowley, it's Adam."

"Am I even doing this right?"

"I think it's coming from your walkie-talkie." Adam leaned toward the device. "Mr. Crowley, it's Adam."

"For somebody's sake can I get some sort of response?!" He did from Dog, but that didn't do much good.

Shadwell reached for the device and pushed down a button on the side. "Mista Crowley?"

"SHADWELL!" the demon's excitement had the former witchfinder holding the transceiver away from his ear. "For once, I'm actually glad you responded."

That was what it took to figure for Crowley to receive a message, you had to hold the button to talk. "How're ye doin' this? Is it witchcraft?"

"Demonic powers."

"Ah," he said that as if it was one of the most mundane things in the world.

"Who else is there with you?"

"Jus' me and the lad." Dog acknowledged his presence, "and the mutt."

"I need you to find Aziraphale. What?"

"I dinna say-"

"No, that last part was to Anathema."

"Who?"

"All this time and he still hasn't learned your name."

"I know the lad's name," Shadwell looked at the boy beside him. "Wha's yer name, lad?"

"That part was also to Anathema. The witch."

"Ah."

"Okay finding Aziraphale is not as big a priority as finding Newt, but there is a good chance Newt went with him and Tracy on their cheap shopping trip. Though in all honesty, Aziraphale would probably be best equipped to deal with the situation."

"Wha situation?"

"Hold on…what'd you say…your water? How did you get a drink in my car?" another pause on Crowley's end. "What do you mean 'not a drink'?" Shadwell and Adam exchanged confused glances before Crowley let out some sort of scream. "SATAN IN HELL, WHAT IS THAT ON MY FLOORBOARD?"

"Mista Crowley?"

"Book Girl just leaked bodily fluid all over my car!"

"Yoo-hoo!" Tracy indicated her (and Aziraphale's) entrance. "We're back."

"Cross your legs if you have to, just keep it in!"

"Ooh, it's been a while since I heard that one," this was once again said like it was a regular occurrence.

Aziraphale looked around the room. "Crowley?"

"He's in there," Adam pointed to the walkie-talkie.

"Whatever is he doing in there," Aziraphale took the communicator from Shadwell. "Crowley?"

"AZIRAPHALE!" Aziraphale held the transceiver from his ear. "Oh, thank God it's you."

"Is this another one of your tricks? However did you manage to get into the walkie-talkie?"

"I'm not in the walkie-talkie; I'm in the Bentley. I had to find a way to get in touch with you…er, Newt. I mostly need Newt."

"Newt?"

"Yeah, Disaster Boy. Can you put him on?"

"Um…well…no. I'm afraid he's not here."

"Where is he?"

"He's…not here. Not at the moment anyway, but I'm certain-"

"You don't know where he is, do you?"

Aziraphale sighed in defeat. "No."

"He can't come to the walkie-talkie now, he's in the bathroom."

"But I just said-"

"That part was to Anathema," Crowley was trying to whisper, "I can't really tell her her boyfriend's nowhere to be found, can I?"

"He never calls her by her name; this must be serious." Aziraphale noted to the room before pushing the button to talk to the demon in the Bentley. "Crowley, what's going on?"

"Anathema's in labor. And this baby really wants out because it's making her leak gross, body fluid all over my car."

"Does that mean her waters have gone?"

"Some water broke, or something, I don't know, prob'ly."

"Once the waters have gone, that's the 'real deal' as you would say. We may still have time. How far apart are her contractions?"

"How should I know?"

"You haven't timed them?!"

"You know all this stuff?!"

"As an angel, it is my duty to familiarize myself with any and all miracles. The miracle of birth is no exception."

"Yeah, well, the so-called-miracle of birth is disgusting and I'd rather it not happen in my Bentley. She can keep it in by keeping her legs crossed, right? Is this it?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sorry, that was to Book Girl. I just made it to the hospital now and…what's that now…"

"He must be talking with Anathema again."

"Angel."

"Yes, Darling?"

"Get. Newton. Here. Now."

"Something's gone wrong, hasn't it?"

"Yes, something's gone wrong: Anathema just told me someone has to stay in the room with her while she gives birth!"

Aziraphale blew out a relieved sigh. "Phew! For a moment there I thought it was something serious."

"This IS serious! I don't want to see this! Find Newt and get him to the hospital. He'll know which one. Miracle yourself here if you have to." Crowley gave a dramatic whine. "I have to go wait with Anathema now. Pray for me…or don't, what with the whole demon thing; just get me out of this." The other end went dead.

Aziraphale set the walkie-talkie on the coffee table. "I suppose you've heard all that?" Tracy, Shadwell, Adam, and even Dog nodded. "Yes, right…" the angel cleared his throat. "First thing's first: we must find Newton and tell him what's going on. He wasn't at Jasmine Cottage, so we need to consider other places he may have gone off to without the use of a car. After that, we must get him to the hospital in a jiffy—I'm probably going to have to do that via miracle."

"Could you miracle us there too?" Tracy asked. "I'd very much like to be there for them, but we don't have a car either."

"Yes, I'll bring you all with me."

Adam raised his hand. "Does that mean I can come too?"

"Adam! Dear Boy, I didn't notice you there. Shouldn't you be at home?"

"I've been here since before Anathema and Crowley left; I really want to know what's going to happen. Can I come with you?"

"Oh, very well, you may come."

"WOOF!"

"Yes, Dog, you may come too." Aziraphale miracled a service animal vest onto the canine. "Wait a moment: before Anathema and Crowley left?"

"He took her to her antenatal class so he didn't have to stay here with us," Adam explained. "After they left, Pepper, Wensley, and Brian came over and we studied. They all had to go home not even ten minutes ago, but I stayed behind and that's when Mr. Crowley got in touch on Mr. Shadwell's phone thing."

"He got Anathema to the hospital that quickly?" Tracy questioned.

"I believe Crowley is the reason the term 'speed demon' exists," Aziraphale noted. "I would not recommend riding with him unless you are in an absolute hurry."

"Which I believe we are in now if we're going to find Newt."

"Right-ho! We must find Newton…somehow."

"It would take a miracle to find him," Adam wasn't all that subtle when he directed that to the angel.

Thankfully, Aziraphale had caught on to the subtext. "Lucky for us, miracles are my specialty." He closed his eyes, focused, and the other three watched as he disappeared.

A confused Shadwell looked around the room. "So wha? Should we jus wait here?"


I know it's a little shorter, but I just wanted to get another chapter out—preferably one that ended on a cliffhanger. Hope this will suffice.