Having learned that day how much the feeling of pure, utter, unholy disgust went into the "miracle" of childbirth—although this did give him some new ideas to work with in terms of inflicting pain—Crowley learned that the feeling of guilt played a factor. And not just on his part. While he felt guilty having to watch Anathema writhe around in agony trying to fight back tears and suppress screams to keep her bravado (and for the pain she would have to endure during the actual delivery), he had to listen to Anathema express her own guilt. She expressed regret on not telling anyone about her pains beforehand, on the situation in which she would be bringing the child into the world, what she had said to Newt and why he wasn't here, and for eating that doughnut.

And if Newt missed this, that would certainly add a whole nother level of guilt.

"Talk!" Anathema brought his focus back to reality.

"What?"

"I need something to distract me from the pain. Talk!"

"What the Hell am I s'posed to talk about at a time like this?"

"I don't care! Anything! Just talk!"

"Uh…so…um…baby."

"Yeah, and?"

"You're having one."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Well then you pick a bloody topic!" She cried out in pain, and Crowley mimicked it. "Ah, stop doing that!?" She blew out some breaths. "So it's over now, are you done?"

"Do you see a baby here?"

"No need for sass."

"Sorry, I just-"

"No, I'm sorry. You have every right to be like this and I'm just in a mood. I'm not really sure what to do here."

"Crowley, can I ask you a favor?"

"Haven't I done enough?" Another moan of pain made Crowley reconsider—it probably wasn't best to argue with Anathema now anyway. "Okay, what can I do?"

"Can you rub my back? It hurts so much."

"Uh…yeah. I s'pose I can do that," he did so. "Does this help?"

"A little."

"Can you do a favor for me when this is all over?"

"What?"

"Don't go 'round tellin' people I apologized."

"Deal," there was a bout of quiet for a moment before Anathema spoke up. "Crowley: I know this is gonna sound weird, but can you sing for me?"

"Excuse you?"

"When Newt does this, he sings me a song. It could help distract me."

"Disaster Boy sings?"

"He's not…well he's not terrible."

"Don't tell me he sings those cliché love songs?"

"No, he knows I think that's stupid. He sings me my song."

"You have a song?"

"He calls it 'my song' because it reminds him of me."

"Does it now? What's it called?"

"I'm not really sure."

"Then how can I sing it, Book Girl?"

There was a brief silence for a moment before Anathema began to hum the song. As Crowley massaged her back, he could hear her faintly singing,

"In the cool of the evening when everything is gettin' kinda groovy
I call you up and ask you if you'd like to go with me and see a movie"

Crowley knew this song! Halloween was the perfect occasion for demonic music, and this song always crept up around that time. Almost subconsciously, he was soon joining in.

"First you say no, you got some plans for the night
And then you stop and say…alright
Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you"

"That's the only part I remember," Anathema admitted. She heard Crowley sigh. "What?"

"I remember more," he took a breath before starting the song again,

"You always keep me guessin', I never seem to know what you are thinkin'
And if a fella looks at you, it's for sure your little eye will be a-winkin'
I get confused 'cause I don't know where I stand
And then you smile…and hold my hand

They finished the next part in harmony.

"Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you"

"Thank you, Crowley," Anathema sincerely thanked the demon. "This really helped."

Unsure of what to say, he simply stated, "Yeah", and then the quiet came again…

…at least until the two of them sang the next part.

"Spooky!"

The sudden appearance of Aziraphale didn't startle Newt like it usually would. "This…" Aziraphale looked around, "…this is Jasmine Cottage."

"Hi Aziraphale," Newt greeted. He was sitting at the table working on a model airplane.

"Newton! There you are! You've had us all worried."

"Bit of a switch, right?"

"What are you doing here?"

Newt blinked in confusion. "I live here."

"Yes, yes, I know that. When Tracy and I came over here on our way back to my cottage, you weren't here."

"I just came back after a walk. I had to clear my head and was afraid if I drove, I'd get into an accident."

"Are you feeling better?"

Newt nodded. "I've accepted the fact that I am terrified of impending fatherhood, but that it's okay, it's normal. I've only made it worse for myself and everyone else by worrying about everything that could go wrong and or all the bad things. But in the end, the pros outweigh the cons. Model planes help too," he held up his latest project. "I've always liked making them."

"I truly didn't know that."

"I've decided I'm going to be calmer now, especially around Anathema. She really doesn't need all this stress."

"Anathema!" Aziraphale remembered why he miracled himself here in the first place. "Newton-"

"Oh, I wanted to thank you by the way."

This caught Aziraphale off guard. "For what?"

"For trying to help and everything you said—particularly when I fretted about getting the baby a gift. You've also given me a brilliant idea."

"I have?"

"I figured I'd use this time to get this plane started; have it at least assembled before the baby comes. Then once the baby's born, I was gonna paint their name on the sides of the plane and hang it over the crib as a mobile. Don't tell Anathema though: I want it to be a surprise."

"Why Newton, that will make an absolutely lovely surprise, and Anathema…oh my Heavens, Anathema!"

Newt shot out of his seat, clearly trying not to worry. "Anathema? Is she alright? What's happened?"

Aziraphale noticed his grip was tightening on the model, so he unclenched from Newt's grasp so that it wouldn't break. "Recall what you said about being calm? I need you to not get yourself overexcited?"

"I'm not overexcited; I'm getting quite calmly worried."

"Yes, right, well I miracled myself to where you were so that I could tell you that Anathema is in labor and that you know which hospital I am to get you to."

"Labor, you say?" A nervous chuckle emitted from Newt. "Seems I won't be finishing that plane after all."

"Newton?"

"Is she at the hospital now?"

"Yes, Crowley is with her."

"Oh," Newt wasn't sure how to process that (or really anything at the moment). "I mean, at least she's at the hospital and she's not alone."

"And that is a good thing."

"I suppose it is. The woman I love is miles away about to give birth to my child and the only person with her is a demon."

"Former demon, Dear Boy."

"And I'm not panicking."

"Well…"

"Not. Panicking."

"Right, how about we not panic at the hospital?" Newt bobbed his head back and forth before starting to fall backwards. "Newton!" with a quick snap of his fingers, Aziraphale miracled the closest chair to ensure that it caught Newt before he fell. "I need you to tell me where to go, we may not have much time left."

"What if we get there and Anathema doesn't want me there?"

"I doubt she feels that way. Besides, the need for you to be there will overpower her want if that was the case."

"Maybe Mr. Crowley should stay with her. He's used to seeing scary things, he won't pass out."

"And neither will you! Take a moment to calm yourself…" Newt inhaled a deep breath before slowly exhaling. "Better?" this time Newt's nod was slow. "Now, where are we going?"

"I'm going to kill Newt!" Anathema vowed as she clutched her abdomen. "He did this to me!"

"That's just the pain talking," Crowley assured himself from his distance.

"I want the epidural!"

"How do I get it for you?" This was the moment when the nurse came in to check Anathema's progress. "Hi, yeah, she's in pain."

"I never would have guessed," the nurse sardonically replied as she looked over various monitors.

"Can you get rid of said pain? Give her the EpiPen or whatever?"

"It's too late for the epidural."

"What?!" Anathema wasn't all that happy to hear that.

"Why?" Crowley frantically inquired.

"Because she's nearly fully dilated," the nurse explained. "I'll ring for the doctor and we'll get prepped for delivery."

"What? No! There's no reason for that! Just give her something to stop the pain!""

"The only way to get rid of the pain is to get the baby out."

"Can we hold it for another…twenty minutes?" in the background, Anathema unearthed an anguished moan. "Fifteen at the least? Newt should be here by then, can't we wait?"

"It doesn't sound like that baby's going to wait."

"Ten minutes, final offer." The nurse gave him a disapproving look before going to get the doctor.

"I don't think Newt's gonna make it!" Anathema cried.

"We'll be lucky if I do!"

"Oh God."

"What?"

"I want to push."

"No, you don't!" He ran to her side. "Whatever you do, don't do that. For the love of all that is unholy, don't do that!" Anathema was trying to resist the urge to do so. "Do the breathing stuff! The inhaling, exhaling shit," he did a quick demonstration. "Come on, inhale…" they did that simultaneously, "…exhale," then they followed with that. "Do it again," this method was repeated a few more times. "This shit actually works?"

The nurse then returned with a couple of orderlies. "Everything's ready in four and the doctor is waiting. We're going to move you to the delivery room now, Anathema."

That was Crowley's cue to head for the door. "Goodbye everybody!"

"You can't go!" Anathema's call stopped the (former) demon in his tracks. "Someone needs to be with me and I want you to stay. You've come this far after all."

Crowley gave a conceding sigh. "Fine; but the second your boyfriend bursts in through the door, I burst out."

"Fair enough." Anathema let the orderlies situate her on the stretcher and start to lead her down the hall to the delivery room.

As he lagged behind, Crowley looked skyward. "If you could send me my angel, I could use a miracle right about now."


One thing I remember about Book Newton was that he liked electronics and model planes. I wanted to work the planes in there somehow, and the idea came kind of last minute.

I don't own the song "Spooky" by the way…and I'm honestly not sure who's version I picked because I listened to various versions trying to make sure I got the lyrics right.