AN: I PERSONALLY ENJOYED WRITING AND NOW TRANSLATING THIS CHAPTER. I HOPE YOU ENJOY TOO.

D: LAW AND ORDER SVU AND ALL ITS CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE.

CHAPTER 89 BUNDLE OF JOY

I walk slowly through the trees under the sun feeling the delicious breeze on my face. I turn towards the sky admiring its beautiful blue color, not a single cloud passes over me. Everything is almost perfect. When I look down again I find the great statue of Alice in Wonderland and lend on it, with a huge smile on his face and a beautiful sparkle in his eyes, I find a man dressed in a set of pants and a white shirt. Elliot. Now everything is perfect. Happiness invades me immediately and I start to run quickly until I can hug him tightly, invading me with his aroma and warmth.

—Hello.— I greet him without letting go a bit. He just strokes my hair and I feel his sigh.

—How are you Liv?— He makes me separate a bit until we can see each other's eyes.

—Good.— I answer without even thinking about it.

—Are you happy?— He questions me again without stopping smiling.

—Of course.— It's so easy to answer because I just feel happy.

—I told you you were ready.— and then I remember the pain and the anguish and I understand.

—It's a dream.— I say without much encouragement.

—Not really.— He caresses my cheek lovingly.

—Well, I don't care what it is, I feel good here by your side. There's no pain anymore.— I feel relieved. Been here feels just good. And best of all, I don't feel like I'm going to wake up anytime soon.

—You are ready Liv.— I turn to see him with a bit of annoyance for the doubt his words causes me.

—Ell, you can stop saying that.— I complain. He just smiles and takes my hand to start walking around the statue.

—Look over there.— He points to the side where I hope to see the same old little lake, but to my surprise there is nothing. Really nothing. Just a beautiful white light.

—What a beauty.— I say feeling a relaxing heat that radiates from that luminosity. —I have to go there?—

—No.— I stay in silence trying to understand everything, but my happiness is so much that I cannot get my brain to work. —It is not yours.—

—Is it yours?— I guess without much effort, it's as if I just knew it and it doesn't scare me. So I turn back to his face and just try to reason with him.

—I want to go with you.— I affirm sure of my decision.

—You can't. You must go back.— The feeling of pain and anguish comes back to my memory. I definitely don't want to go back to that.

—You can't force me.— I say a bit haughty, but only a giggle comes from his chest.

—I'm not planning on forcing you to do anything. But you must go back.— He takes his hand to my belly making me turn down, and then something is missing. The memory strikes me hard. The great relief after the pain, and the crying of a little baby.

—He needs you.— And the urge to leave invades me but I stop it looking at his eyes.

—You will leave?—The light shine brighter as an affirmation to my words.

—Not exactly. I promised that I would always be by your side and so I will. But you are ready to let me go.— It is incredible that these words do not cause me chills or even fear. I am no longer afraid. I smile and get as close as I can to him, bringing my mouth to his soft lips, feeling them just as I remember them. He reciprocates me by hugging me tightly.

—Olivia, I love you.— I make sure to memorize his voice and keep the words in my mind forever. —Never forget that.— I know he is saying goodbye and, although it saddens me, it doesn't hurt. There is no pain.

—Never.— I press my forehead against his chest, impregnating my lungs with his scent, memorizing the exact heat of his body, making sure I never break that promise.

—And promise me you will let happiness invade your life.— He says, separating from me a little to look me in the eyes. His are fool with tears but there is no sadness in them. —Flash a smile to me everyday.— He commands.

—I'll try.— I say earning that cocky smile of his. —You're just gonna sit here all life until I do, aren't you? You stubborn son-of-a-bitch.—

—Yes I am.— He accepts his stubbornness. I cling to his back again without stopping smiling.

—I love you.— I say in a whisper that seemed like a sigh coming from the bottom of my heart and with it the wound vanishes.

—It's time.— he says without even letting me go a little.

—I'm ready.— I assure him, trying to express the calm and security that I feel inside. Trying to make him feel the same. I pull away to see his intense blue eyes, he smiles and begins to walk towards the beautiful light and the need to follow him fades, being replaced by tranquility that ends in a calm sigh.


I hear someone speak in the distance. I try to focus to see if I recognize the voice, but nothing seems familiar to me. I move my feet looking for the firm ground and then I notice that I am not standing. I feel the thin fabric in my hands. I start to move them inspecting the place until the surface is finished. I take a deep breath but something hinders me and the strange aroma invades me. I slowly open my eyes trying to adapt my view to the light in the room. I cautiously observe the place, the furniture, the aroma, the different noises. I feel a breeze hitting my face when a door opens.

—Liv.— and a familiar voice appears. I turn immediately to see Kyle standing next to me with that calm expression I know.

—Hi.— I say trying to clear my throat. —What happened?— The doubt comes out involuntary.

—You had a small respiratory failure during childbirth.— He explains. I try to put my brain in motion. I remember waking up with the pain and the call with Adriana. I remember taking a shower and having breakfast in my apartment. Casey driving to the hospital and the hours talking with everyone, also the contractions and the pain are a bit blurry. But there is a clear memory.

—Where is Phillip?— I ask when I remember the little one in the doctor's arms. —Is he okay?— An alert tone in my voice makes it more powerful and less scratchy. The immediate smile on Kyle's expression brings me calm, as it always has.

—He is healthy as a horse.— I sit on the bed to be a bit more comfortable.

—Where is he?— He still doesn't answer that.

—In the nurseries waiting impatiently for his mom to stop being an sleeping beauty and wake up.— it is inevitable to laugh at his expression.

—Try to endure contractions for a thousand hours and a painful labor, and then tell me if you don't want to be sleeping.— I mockingly complain.

—Okay, I won't argue that. I'll let Adriana know that you've woken up and they won't take long to bring... Phillip.—

—Phillip.— I repeat the name.

—How do you feel.— He asks getting into his doctor mode. —Let us check you, okay?— The only thing that matters to me is to see my little man as soon as possible and he had to get his medical mode right now.

—I'm fine. Please bring him.— I say impatiently.

—That's the Olivia I know.— He says with a smile. —I'll go bring him. Don't despair.— He says walking towards the door. —oh... and everyone is outside waiting to see you.—

—Everyone?— Who exactly is everyone.

—Yes, Bernie and the children arrived almost two hours ago.— I let out a sigh thinking how many people could be out there, worried, waiting.

—Okay, first tell them I'm fine, and then bring Philip.— I demand in a funny way.

—We won't take long.— He says disappearing through the door and in less than a minute I already have Adriana and a nurse checking my reflexes and basic aspects, while all I want is to see my little man.

—Well, if all goes well, you two can go home this afternoon.— I vaguely listen to what Adriana tells me after checking me out. I try to be nice and not complain at all about anything, not even the slight back pain. I prefer to stay calm but the anxiety that eats me inside is too much. I don't understand what's wrong with Kyle, why is taking so long? Unexpectedly I feel my guts move and roar loudly. The young nurse is unable not to laugh and Adriana does not even try to hide hers. I feel my cheeks heat up and I'm sure I'm blushing.

—I think I'm hungry.— I foolishly admit.

—That's a good sign. After so many hours of fasting, it would be odd for you not been hungry.— she says kindly.

—I'll bring you food.— The nurse says walking to the door, but it opens before he can reach it.

I look up to see who is coming in. I feel a hole in my stomach when I look at the small bundle in Kyle's arms. My heart begins to beat desperately against my ribs. He walks towards me and in a quick movement I reach towards him. Kyle moves the blanket a bit so that I can observe him better, the first thing I see are two little hands moving slowly in the air and I hear what seems to be his breathing. A new and fascinating sound that is totally different from the breathing of anyone in the room. Kyle brings him closer to me and then I am amazed by the soft glow of his clear skin. So perfect. So unique.

—I introduce you to your mommy.— I stretch my arms trying to form a perfect cradle to hold him and then I feel how I'm shaking. It feel as an eternity as he place the little bundle in my arms, cautiously and lightly. He fits into them so easily, as if they were specially designed for this... for him. I try to settle into the back of the bed without moving much, and my gaze is fixed on his small face. His little eyes are closed forming a couple of lines full of small black eyelashes, a little nose with a slight pinkish tone at the point, and his small full and bright closed lips joining perfectly. I could swear that he is an angel, the most beautiful being I have ever seen. I can't remember how many times I had dreamed of him or imagined how he would be, and all those images are terribly short compared to the beauty that I now hold in my arms.

—Congratulations Liv.— I turn to see Kyle and I laugh, perhaps nervously, letting out the air that I did not know I had retained. I feel the tears fall down my cheeks and how my heart beats incoherently fast, as if it was growing even more, so much that it causes me even dizziness.

I immediately look back at the little boy, fearing that he will disappear at any second, but there he is, calm and perfect right in my arms.

—I love you.— My voice comes out so quiet and shaky that I don't even recognize it. I try to swallow the lump in my throat but it refuses to go down. I get excited when I feel him move with a little more strength, as if trying to stretch a little. I immediately remember how he felt inside me and now I know how he looks when doing it. A slight noise comes out of his throat and he opens his small eyes slowly. I freeze to see the bright blue that fills his pupils... indescribable. —You are so beautiful.— I move one of my arms slowly to be able to touch him. Hesitating a bit, I bring my hand closer to the thin skin of his perfect face without making contact. I decide better to touch his hand. Fascinated by how incredibly soft and smooth it feels under my fingertips. Unexpectedly, he moves his little fingers until he clings to one of mine, pressing lightly. It is impressive how decisive this moment has become. I feel that the joy I have right now will be eternal.

TO BE CONTINUED

AN: THERE IS JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE TO THIS STORY. THE END IS ALMOST HERE.