A/N: Hello everyone! Thank you for the kind reviews last chapter! Real life has unfortunately become stressful at the moment. I'm not sure when it will calm down or when Chapter 25 will be ready, but I will still be working on it! Until then, I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

A quick warning for some: the Pamuk storyline has been modernized here and I know it might be triggering to some people. I don't go into any detail with it but I just wanted everyone to be aware


New Normal

Chapter Twenty Four

The revelation Mary had from the night she learned Mama was ill was an ever present thought that lived in her mind. He loves me, she would gloat as he indulged her bizarre cravings, like adding pickle juice to her ice cream, even though he wrinkled his nose and grimaced as he did it. He loves me, she would think as he smiled with delight as he felt the twins kicking inside her stomach, tears and a reverent look in his eyes as he looked up at her. He loves me, she would remind herself when he would unthinkingly be brusque with her, and reminded of it later when he would apologize profusely. He loves me, would be the last thought she had with his lips against her ear as he breathed her name before she gasped his.

He didn't say it, but he didn't have to. She knew. As a person who didn't always spell things out herself, she knew what to look for. She didn't doubt him when he made promises about always being there for her; she knew he was speaking the truth.

It wasn't a lack of trust, either. Tom knew things about her no else did. She trusted him enough to allow herself to be vulnerable in front of him, to break down and cry, to see her at her very worst. She trusted Tom with the things she didn't tell anyone else.

But still, when she came to realization that it was time to tell him about Kemal, she was frightened. Not of judgement— Tom wasn't that sort of person— but of pity. That's what she was worried about.

So she waited until they were in bed together, the lights out. Mary welcomed each of Tom's kisses, as they ebbed away at some of her apprehension, but eventually drew away. "What is it?" Tom asked almost immediately. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head before kissing his cheek. "You've done nothing wrong, darling," she said, in an effort to reassure him. "It's just that... I'm ready to tell you." She didn't even need to elaborate. He already seemed to know.

Tom rolled off her. "Okay."

Mary tried to steady her breath and ready herself but she wasn't sure she had the nerve. Instead of beginning, she said, "You must promise me first you won't interrupt."

"I promise." His hands found herself and he brought it to his lips.

"And when I'm done, we won't talk about it ever again."

"We won't. I won't," he amended.

Mary nodded. She closed her eyes, breathed deep, and began to tell him her story.

She was seventeen years old, easily one of the more popular girls at her school but it didn't necessarily mean everyone liked her. She had been cruel at times, more so than even her adult self could be. There were plenty of people waiting for her to make the wrong step and watch her fall with glee (including Edith, who bore the brunt of her nastiness more than anyone else) but Mary hadn't ever done anything wrong— not in the eyes of her peers, anyway. Mama and Papa might disapprove of their eldest daughter sneaking out of the Abbey to go to parties and meet up with her boyfriends, but it only boosted her esteem at school.

At the time, Mary was dating Evelyn Napier, who was universally adored— and for good reason. He was a decent footballer and more importantly, a genuinely good person. He was sweet and kind, never rude to anyone. He had been her friend for years and shyly admitted the depth of his affection after she broke things off with a past boyfriend. Mary liked being his girlfriend: he treated her well and was very romantic, buying her flowers and complimenting her. Mama and Papa loved him... but Mary didn't. At least not in that way. She wanted to, very much, but Evelyn didn't inspire much passion within her.

There was, however, someone who did. Kemal Pamuk was Turkish foreign exchange student (who also played football) and staying with Evelyn and his family. Mary always felt guilty in taking great satisfaction in the way he looked at her but she did her best not to let it show. By the time he had entered their lives, her and Evelyn had been going out for two years. She didn't want to ruin it for some boy who would be going back to Turkey at the end of the semester, especially not one she didn't even properly know.

When Mary finally had the opportunity to have Downton Abbey to herself, she decided to throw a party. Edith was staying with a friend whereas Mama and Papa has travelled to London to support Sybil and her debate team. Evelyn, naturally, was invited, and he asked if he could bring Kemal along. Mary had accepted without a second thought.

But Mary's ironclad control over her emotions slipped. She drank more than she normally did, which led to her accidentally admitting to Kemal just how attractive she found him when Evelyn wasn't hovering near them. "Oh, God! I didn't mean to say that!" Mary clapped a hand to her mouth, nervous giggles escaping her, her other hand on Kemal's muscled arm as she leaned against him.

"So... you don't think I'm fit, then?" Kemal asked, amused and taking a small sip of his drink.

Mary shook her head. "No, you are..." Her words were already slurring together. "But Evelyn's my boyfriend."

Kemal simply smiled at her. "Don't worry, Mary. It will be our secret. Evelyn will never know."

She let out an almost theatrical sigh of relief. "Oh, thank you. You're really nice, did you know that?"

When Mary had finally stumbled up to her bedroom, she wasn't in the right state of mind. She was leaning on Evelyn, who helped her into bed. "You okay?" He asked, brushing back a strand of her hair as he sat on the edge of her bed.

Mary nodded, smiling up at him. She really did like him... "Okay." Evelyn leaned down, kissing her. He tasted like beer and marijuana, the latter of which they had been persuaded to try thanks to Kemal. Mary could still remember the look in his intense, dark eyes as he had practically challenged her. "Get some sleep. You'll need it." He went to rise out of bed.

"You can stay," she mumbled.

Evelyn shook his head, though he smiled at her in the most adoring way. "Not tonight. I'm going to sleep in one of the guest rooms." Mary felt mildly disappointed. Her and Evelyn hadn't gone all the way yet. He kept saying he wanted to wait for the right time. Mary had been more than a little frustrated, but she respected his decision. "I love you."

"Love you," she murmured back before he turned the lights off. It wasn't a complete lie, she told herself. She did love Evelyn, the same way she loved all her friends. So what if it wasn't some all consuming, passionate love? Mary wasn't even sure love like that even existed. When the door clicked shut behind him, she let her eyelids fall shut. It wouldn't be long before she fell asleep.

However, just before she could, the door opened again. "Evelyn?" she asked, figuring her boyfriend had forgotten something.

"No."

Mary was barely able to make him out in the dark but she recognized Kemal's voice. He turned the light on, walking through her room. "What are you doing here?" She sat upright, as much as she was able to. He looked so handsome, his curly hair falling in just the right way.

The answer he gave her was a kiss.

Mary's eyes were wide open in an instant. What was he thinking? She remained unresponsive to his kisses, even as his tongue sought entrance to her mouth.

"What are you doing?" she asked once she was able to pry herself away from him. "Evelyn—"

"Evelyn," Kemal cut her off, "will never know. It will be our secret." His hand moved down. Mary had been still. "I know you want me, Mary. I've seen the way you look at me. And I want you, too."

"No, we can't," she insisted as his lips went to her neck. She felt herself fall back onto her plush pillows. "We can't do this. It's not fair to him."

She was silenced when his lips went to hers again, his hand stroking her cheek almost in a mockery of the way Evelyn had not fifteen minutes ago. "He'll never know."

Mary woke up the following morning with a headache and goosebumps, in spite of Kemal's body on top of her. The events of the previous night came rushing back. The blankets were in a disarray, leaving their bare flesh exposed.

Mary was horrified, sick to her stomach for more reasons than one. Oh God... what had she done? How could she have done that to Evelyn?

She shook Kemal's sleeping form. "Get up! Wake up!" She whispered furiously, jostling him until he woke up. When his eyelashes fluttered, Mary hissed, "You have to go before anyone knows you were in here."

He gathered up his clothes, Mary turning her eyes away. She wouldn't look at him. He barely said a word to her, only making a brief mention about the blood on the sheets.

It was 6:21 in the morning when Kemal left her room, shirt unbuttoned. It was 6:21 in the morning when Edith returned home from her friend's house, needing to start work on an essay. She saw him leave her sister's room, but he hadn't seen her.

By Monday, everyone knew. Edith told somebody, who told somebody, who told somebody, and because Edith had been the one to spread the rumor, everyone believed it. She made it even worse by writing SLUT in Mary's locker in lipstick, like a Scarlet Letter to publicize her shame. Suddenly Mary was no longer universally beloved. People stopped inviting her to things and she would overhear people calling her horrible names.

On some level, Mary felt she deserved it. She had said awful things about these people, now karma was coming back to bite her. As for the other matter, Mary felt it must be her fault. Why hadn't she stopped Kemal? He had probably thought she would want to, given at how flirtatious she had been earlier. Mary combed through all of their past interactions mentally, finding instances where she must have given him the wrong impression.

The only person who didn't believe the rumors was Evelyn. He asked her and Kemal both of it was true, to which they both solemnly swore it wasn't, even though Mary doing so wracked her with even more guilt. That was good enough for him. He was kind enough to ignore the others when they insisted he was too good for the likes of Mary. The rivalry between herself and Edith helped a bit, as Evelyn assumed it was the latter's vindictive streak trying to tear Mary down.

All the while, Mary felt like an imposter. She felt like her whole world had changed overnight. She stopped going to Evelyn's house in order to avoid Kemal and felt it was harder to play the part of adoring girlfriend when she knew he would be destroyed if she learned it was all true. And it wasn't just that— she bitterly regretted the person she had once been: shallow, cruel, and foolish.

It came as a relief when it came time to choose where to go to uni. Evelyn had been offered an opportunity to study in America at Columbia, a lifelong dream of his, whereas Mary had no intentions of leaving English soil. They came to the mutual decision to end their relationship but promised to remain friends. In truth, it was more a convenient excuse than anything else. Pretending everything was fine put a tremendous strain on Mary and Evelyn had noticed how she was withdrawing.

Uni offered Mary the opportunity to reinvent herself. She lived on campus with Anna Smith, who quickly became the most loyal friend she had ever had. Anna reserved all judgement so Mary knew that she could be entrusted with her worst secret. However, it didn't come out until after a night of drinking, where Mary told Anna the whole story.

Mary wasn't sure what she had been expecting: Anna, even when upset, wasn't the kind to belittle or insult. Disapproval, perhaps, or maybe even simply commenting that she had evidently become a better person since that night. What she wasn't prepared for her friend hugging her and saying, "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

As an adult, Mary understood better that it hadn't been her fault at all. She had been under the influence, partially under Kemal's goading, and he took advantage of her. She didn't blame herself anymore for his actions. Still, it was time in her life she wanted to forget about and never talk about. Edith, however, never having learned the real story and Mary never having enlightened her, brought it up every once in a while when tensions between them rose, usually to question Mary's loyalty to her romantic partner. Matthew had known, which was why he had never paid any attention to it. He had suggested Mary tell her the reality of the situation but she didn't want to speak about it... just like how she hadn't wanted to tell now.

Nevertheless, Mary told him in a quiet, measured voice. "There," she concluded. "Now you know all of it."

Tom nodded. At some point during the story, his hand found hers, squeezing it periodically. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that. I'm sure that wasn't easy for you." It sounded rehearsed, almost as if he was trying to keep his own emotions at bay. Mary remembered all too well how angry and furious Matthew had been, making threats that he would fly to Turkey to punch Kemal himself. As much as she loved Matthew, she found herself relieved that Tom was deliberately trying to keep himself subdued.

"I've always trusted you. It's never been about that," Mary told him. Her throat was sore from talking for so long. "I just— I know Edith and I have declared a truce but the fact is that we quarrel often. I didn't want her to say anything and make you think... think that I would ever do anything like that to you. Because I never would." I never could.

Tom let out a breath, hand gripping hers again. "I know you wouldn't. I trust you. And I know you love me."

It was the first time he had really spoken about it since that night. Every once and a while, Mary would tell him again, to which he would respond with a kiss. Mary understood it was the only way he could say it back.

But now he was saying it— that word: love.

"Yes," said Mary faintly, a little voice in the back of her head telling her this moment was significant. "I do."


MARY: We should really discuss what to do about the wedding bookings for 2021 soon. Will Wednesday work for you?

MARY: Hello?

MARY: Thomas is everything alright?

THOMAS: Yes. Sorry I didn't answer earlier. Our surrogate went into labor last night. Jimmy and I have a daughter.

MARY: Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! Does she have a name?

THOMAS: We're still trying to decide now. We've narrowed it down to a few names. We haven't had a chance to meet her yet because of the restrictions at the hospital.

MARY: Tom says congratulations as well! Please be sure to pass them along to Jimmy. Don't worry about work— Just focus on your family. I can hold down the fort.


Theresa Barrow-Kent had dark hair and adorably chubby cheeks. In the picture Thomas sent, she looked tiny in his arms as he stared down at her with the happiest expression she had ever seen him wear, rivaling even the smiles on his wedding day. Seeing Theresa reminded Mary of the fact she would soon have two of her own.

"She's cute! Can we go see her?" George asked after Mary showed him the picture.

"No, not yet," she said, endeared by his enthusiasm. He pouted, even though Mary did her best to explain that it wasn't safe at the moment.

The arrival of Thomas and Jimmy's baby, however, was a signal that it was almost time for the twins. Her and Tom has spent more than a few afternoons preparing the nursery for them as the children did their schoolwork online and Mary's stomach had grown larger and larger. They were almost ready...

Except for one thing.

"We have to name her, Tom," insisted Mary, who was taking this issue to heart.

"Of course we will," he assured her. "They won't let us leave if there isn't a name on the birth certificate."

There had been rigorous debate over the past few months, ever since they had decided Percy's. They'd decided on Caraas a middle name but nothing else thus far. Whenever one of them thought of a name, the other wasn't as enthusiastic, and vice versa.

Mary felt in some ways like she was abandoning her daughter already. It didn't seem fair her brother already had a name whereas they still called her Baby Girl. Sybbie and George, of course, had offered suggestions— Elsa had been George's top pick whereas Sybbie had selected Bertha, thanks to a school project on Bertha of Kent. Tom and Mary had very politely thanked them for trying to help but told them they would name the baby.

If only it weren't so hard.

"We'll come up with something," Tom said after Mary once again insisted they come up with something. Then, almost as if the words were being forced out of him, he said, "Maybe we won't know until we meet her."

Mary shook her head. She wouldn't leave anything to chance, not after what they had been through last time. They would both name this baby, and they would do it before she was born.

"No," she told him firmly. "We'll come up with something." We need to were the unspoken words.


"What do you mean? Why can't you drop it off at our house?"

"Please trust me on this, Mary." Before she could say anything, Papa insisted, "I promise, we'll keep it safe. We'll all be outside and have masks on. We can even stand one meter apart from one another."

Mary sighed. "Alright, then."

"And bring George and Sybbie. It's important they're there."

"Very well. Anything else?"

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. I'm tired a lot, but I'm doing well." She waited a moment before adding, "When you see me on Monday, you'll be shocked at how enormous I am."

Papa chuckled. "And how are the twins?"

"Well, they can't really tell me themselves, but the doctor says they're healthy. I suppose he knows best."

"And Tom?"

"He's well... though I don't know how well he'll be on his birthday, depending on what you'll be getting him."

Papa sighed. "Try to have a little faith, Mary."

Mary held her tongue. Papa had begun the call explaining that he had a special gift for Tom to "make amends" for the "earlier unpleasantness"— but it required Mary waking early the morning of Tom's birthday and driving to Downton Abbey to pick it up. She wasn't enthused by the prospect and wary about this surprise of his.

"Very well."

"Excellent! I'll see you Monday!"


Sybbie and George were let in on the secret on Saturday, when Tom was suitably distracted assembling cribs in the new nursery. "What is it?" Sybbie asked in a whisper, giddy with excitement.

"I don't know. Donk just said it's a surprise for all of us." She only hoped it would be a good one.

Mary woke up much too early on Monday morning, her alarm piercing through her peaceful slumber. As she lay there, staring up at the ceiling with bleary eyes, Tom stirred beside her. Damn. "What's going on?" he mumbled. "You're not normally up this early."

Mary's sleep deprived brain struggled to think of an answer. "I have a Zoom meeting. With Thomas," she lied. "Their baby has an appointment this morning at the doctor's and 7 is the only time that will work."

Tom groaned, as if to commiserate with her. "I'd better make you some breakfast, then."

"No, don't." He couldn't leave this room, not if Papa's surprise was to be preserved. "It's your birthday. You deserve to have a lie in and get some more sleep." She leaned over to kiss him.

Tom let out a soft laugh. "That's right. It is my birthday."

"Did you forget?"

"Kind of. It wasn't the first thing I was thinking of when I woke up."

"Oh? And what were you thinking of, then?"

"You."

Her heart softened. "Any more talk like that and I'll be getting misty eyed," she warned him good naturedly, but kissed him again to let him know how throughly she had enjoyed his sentiments. "Just for that, I'll make breakfast. It'll have to be scrambled eggs but I'll let you eat them in bed and everything."

"I'm honored," Tom said, and though she knew he was joking, he sounded as if he meant it.

Mary kissed him one last time. "Get some more sleep, darling. I'll wake you up once everything's ready."

Tom seemed to accept that, eyes falling shut. Mary climbed out of bed and dressed quickly. She wasn't going to put much thought into her outfit before reminding herself it was Tom's birthday. He won't care what you wear, Mary reminded herself, setting aside the original, more comfortable outfit. He'd probably think you'd look lovely in a potato sack. Nevertheless, she picked out a loose fitting, wine colored dress instead.

She was confident he was asleep when she slipped out of the room, rousing Sybbie and George with soft knocks on the door and poking her head inside to make sure they were awake.

The drive was a short one and Mary was still groggy, but Sybbie chattered away. How she could always be full of so much energy in the morning, Mary had no idea. She was certain it was something she must have inherited from Sybil, for Tom was never so verbose.

Mary parked the car once they arrived to Downton, reaching for her phone to text Papa.

MARY: We're here

PAPA: Come out to the back

By this point, George and Sybbie had clambered out of the vehicle and were chasing one another outside. Mary put her phone back in her purse. "Donk wants us in the backyard. Put your masks on, darlings," Mary told them, holding out the small cloth masks for them. They led the way as Mary waddled behind, mentally thinking Papa's gift had better be a damn good one. She wished she was still under the covers with Tom.

The outdoor patio area was something Mary personally felt detracted from the classic beauty of Downton, but she could grudgingly admit it was nice to have an outdoor entertainment space. Sybbie opened the gate leading to the fenced in area and Mary surveyed the empty patio. Papa was nowhere.

She was about to text him again when the back food opened. "Come on, now," she heard Papa say, only for Isis to amble down the steps, followed by six puppies, each wearing a different color collar.

George and Sybbie let out shrieks of delight as the dogs went over to greet them. However, Sybbie was momentarily distracted by her grandfather, crying out, "Donk!" and running towards him.

"Sybbie! You need to stay one meter away!" Mary called out, causing Sybbie to stop just a few meters away.

"I can still see you, my darling girl," Papa assured Sybbie. It was now that Mary realized he didn't have a gift in his arms. "Go play with the puppies now."

Sybbie didn't need to be told twice. She sat down on the grass, no doubt getting dirt in the back of her pants as two of the puppies ran over to sniff her. George had one in his lap already, licking his face.

Mary approached her father, who was watching the scene with fondness and arms behind his back, careful to stand one meter away before asking as quietly as possible, "Where's Tom's gift?"

Papa turned to her before nodding towards the children and dogs.

"You can't be serious!"

"Why not? You've spoke about getting a dog in the past—"

"In the past! Tom and I are going to have to contend with twins in two months! We can't raise two babies and a puppy!" Mary was already internally crying at the thought of being up all hours of the night with two babies while trying to housebreak a puppy.

"I've made sure they are all potty trained and have some basic training. They can sit and lay down." He straightened his shoulders. "And I was planning on coming over to install a doggy door leading to your backyard."

"It's still a lot of work. How exactly is this supposed to be a gift for Tom?"

"George and Sybbie can help with that... and it's more of a gift for your whole family, and Tom is a part of that."

Mary would have been pleased if she weren't still livid. "You should have told me that you were planning on getting us something alive." A second later, she venomously added, "That's why you made me bring George and Sybbie along, so I would feel guilty if I said no."

"No— because I want them to pick out the puppy that is best suited to be around them and small children." He turned towards her. "Your babies will grow up with a best friend and the dog will love and protect you all."

"And suppose you're wrong? Suppose the dog is bad tempered or one of the twins is allergic to dogs?"

"Then your Mama and I will take it back and you can still come and see it or we'll rehome it, depending on the circumstances," Papa said simply. He turned towards the puppies again. "We're already keeping the one with the pink collar. Your Mama loves her." He paused before adding, "And this is to be Isis's last litter. The vet doesn't think she'll have anymore. To be honest, I don't think I want to keep up with the breeding any longer... so I wanted you to have one of her puppies."

Damn. Of course he had to add that. There was a questioning gaze in his eye that Mary refused to respond to until he asked, "So will you?"

It was mad and Tom might very well hate this idea, but Mary nodded regardless... and they were adorable puppies. She saw his eyes crinkle up before he turned back to the children. He took a couple steps towards them before saying, "Now, you get to take one of these puppies home with you—" which meant there were plenty of shrieks of excitement. "Except for Tiaa. She's staying with me and your Grandmama."

George and Sybbie mutually decided upon the puppy with the blue collar, which was a boy with the same color fur as Isis. He had been climbing on their laps in order to lick their faces and wagged his tail. Mary didn't think was sanitary at all but he did seem like a sweet little thing.

Papa ran back into the house to fetch a leash. "If you pull your car up to the front of the house, I can put all your other dog related supplies in the trunk," he said, with all the excitement of a child on Christmas morning. "And your Mama will want to say hello. She's just drinking some coffee now."

The hellos were brief as Mary reminded them they needed to get home and see Tom. "Don't forget to remind him to give the puppy an Egyptian name!" Papa called putting as she started up the car again.

"Why do I need to remind Tom?" asked Mary. She figured the children would be the ones naming him.

"It's his birthday! You aren't going to let the man name his own puppy?"

George and Sybbie were positively bursting at the seams when they got home. "Can we take him upstairs to surprise Daddy?" asked George, practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"Yes, you can. But wait until I'm there with you." Somehow Mary suspected that he would be less upset with her for approving the mad scheme if he saw how happy their adorable children were with the equally adorable puppy.

Thankfully, Mary didn't need to worry all that much. Tom seemed overjoyed after waking up to the puppy licking his face and rivaled the children in their enthusiasm. "I'm glad you're pleased," said Mary as she made good on her promise to make him breakfast. "I wasn't sure you would be."

Tom leaned against the door frame between the kitchen and dining room, a curious expression on his face. "I like dogs... and we've always talked about it. It's not like we'll be getting sleep anyway."

"Maybe so, but it does seem terribly unfair our last few months of uninterrupted sleep should come to an end so soon." Mary turned back to the eggs. "George and Sybbie have promised to help with him but I have a horrible feeling most of the responsibility will fall onto you."

"Everything will work out alright." She could hear his bare feet padding against the hardwood floor before he finally wrapped her into a hug from behind. "Don't worry about me."

"It's my job to worry about you," she insisted, but smiled, stirring the eggs about. "Have you named your dog yet?"

"No," sighed Tom into her ear before releasing her. "I don't understand why I can't name him whatever I want to. I thought the Egyptian thing was reserved to your father's dogs."

"You can name him whatever you like, darling... just know you'll have to answer to Papa for not keeping with tradition."

Tom laughed. "Shouldn't he expect that from me by now?"

Mary's eyelids felt heavy as she leaned against Tom on the sofa. It had been a long day for them; they had been up late in the night to place Santa's gifts under the tree (with the added complication this year of having George's bedroom so near).

As they dragged themselves up the stairs for what she was certain would not be a long sleep, Tom made her pause on the landing. "Wait," he whispered to her, brushing a strand of hair away from her cheek. Knowing what was happening, Mary smiled and closed her eyes. It was light kiss, far less intense than the one from last year, but just as wonderful.

"There," murmured Tom when he drew away. "We've made it a tradition now."

Mary beamed. "You know, if you had told me this is where we would be a year ago, I wouldn't have believed you... but I'm so glad we are."

"I am, too." Tom leaned in to kiss her again, in such a way that Mary now was confident they would be getting even less sleep tonight.

She had been right; Sybbie and George woke them up around seven o'clock, eager to see what Father Christmas had brought. Even so, without sleep, it had been a success. Thanks to Zoom and some coordinating ahead of time, the entire family (even Granny, who wasn't the most adept with technology) was able to get on Zoom and watch presents being opened. It was marvelous, even though Mary caught her mother and Edith occasionally making faces whenever Mary did something to make it blatantly obvious that her and Tom were a couple.

"Are you sleepy?"

Mary nodded. "A little." It was an understatement, but she felt if she betrayed just how tired she really was, Tom would insist she go to bed. He was fretting over her constantly now. She didn't mind, since she knew it was out of love, and he was learning to take her feelings on the matter into consideration. She was content where she was at present, and she knew he would never let her sleep on this couch.

"Not too tired for bed?"

"No... Why, what do you have planned?"

"I've got another gift for you."

"Oh?" Mary arched an eyebrow as Tom rose to his feet. She wondered what it could possibly be. After having such a wonderful day, it seemed almost impossible that there was still more. After a moment or two, she found herself saying, "I hope you realize it isn't absolutely necessary to spoil me this much."

"I disagree." Tom appeared once more, something in his hand. "It's the least I can do right now... and in a few weeks from now, I suspect you'll be having some negative feelings directed at me, so I want to make sure I do enough now to offset it."

Mary chuckled slightly, but met his eye as he sat down on the couch. "I won't," she promised, reaching for the hand that wasn't holding whatever this mysterious gift was...

For a brief moment, Mary wondered if it was a ring. Don't be ridiculous, she chastised herself. Tom had been upfront with her already on where he stood on marriage; the only reason he had proposed before was because Papa had gotten to him. In all honesty, Mary would be perfectly content if they never married at all, as long as they remained together... but it still seemed much too soon.

The box he handed her was too big to be a ring. Mary ignored the illogical sting of the realization, instead removing the red bow on top of it and opening it. "Oh, Tom," she gasped, "it's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it." He sat beside her, eager. "I'm sure in a few more weeks your thoughts towards me won't be so charitable."

Mary shook her head, looking up from the sparking necklace. "I know it will hurt something fierce but I'm ready to give birth. I'm tired of being the size of a boat."

Tom's smile didn't quite meet his eyes. "What is it?" she demanded, albeit kindly. "Tell me. Please."

Tom sighed. "It's silly—"

"I'm sure it isn't."

Tom shook his head, wearing a slightly more genuine smile. "No. It is." He paused before saying, "I... I don't know if I'm ready. For you to give birth."

"That's not silly at all." She placed her hand on his arm.

"That's not the silly part." Tom moved the arm she was touching to wrap it around her shoulders. He pulled her close to him. "The silly part was... just for a second, I thought... I was thinking how I wish you could be pregnant forever. And not because I don't want to meet them but... but so I could know you would be safe."

Oh, Tom. Mary angled her head to kiss him. Her hand went to rest over his heart. "Darling, with everything you've gone through, you've every right to worry and have as many silly thoughts as you like."

"I know that neither of us have a say in when it'll happen... and it will happen and I'm going to be so happy to meet them but I'm scared, too."

"Of course you are." Mary's other hand settled on his cheek. He almost looked ready to cry. "I'm scared, too. I'm scared about so many things this time around that I wasn't afraid of with George. I'm scared about going to hospital during a pandemic and about giving birth to two babies instead of one... but I think the thing that scares me the most is what will happen when you drive home and leave me at the hospital." It took all her strength to remain composed but she forced herself not to lose herself. "Because the last time that happened, I never saw him again. And... I don't think..." It was getting harder and harder to speak without her voice shaking, "... No, I know that if the same thing happens again I'll never recover."

Tom kissed her forehead as Mary let her eyes close. "Oh, Mary," he mumbled against her skin, arms wrapping tighter around her. "I won't leave. Not until you're ready for me to. I'll stay with you. I promise."

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready," she confessed. Even though Tom was a good driver and would no doubt be careful, Mary knew she would be a paranoid mess the whole time.

"Then I won't leave."

"Don't be ridiculous. You'll need your things at some point..."

"I'll pack everything when we leave, then." He rubbed her shoulder. "We'll come up with something... but I won't break my promise."

Mary felt like her heart had melted. It scared her a bit, that Tom was able to affect her in such a way, but mostly she was glad. Only Matthew had been able to soften her before and she had been quite confident no one could make her feel this way again. She was glad, for once, to be wrong.

With a warm smile, she handed him the necklace. "Help me put it on?" She turned away, Tom's fingertips brushing against the nape of her neck to move her hair a second later. That was followed by his lips, causing her to shiver before his hands moved around to put the necklace into place.

"Why did you wait to give this to me?" Mary asked as he clasped it. "Why couldn't the children watch me open it?"

"Well... I had an idea."

"I'm intrigued. Do tell."

"I was thinking... when we go to bed, you could leave the necklace on and take everything else off."

Mary smiled brilliantly, a little pleased he couldn't see it. It was gratifying, knowing that in spite of her being enormous, that he still wanted her. "And if I had been too tired, then what? Would you have waited?"

"No," said Tom, moving her hair back into place. "I just would have had you open it upstairs and made my suggestion some other time."

Mary turned around. "How lucky that you don't have to worry about that," she said playfully, letting her hand rest on his chest again. She delighted in feeling his heart rate increase beneath her fingertips. "Though to be honest, I don't know if you'll ever have to worry about me being too tired for you."

"I hope you know I'll tease you mercilessly for that when we have two crying babies to to deal with," Tom said, grinning as his hand came to rest on her cheek. "And Seth," he added on as an afterthought, as if he had somehow forgotten about the puppy.

"Well, when that time comes, I'll be very surprised if you have enough energy to even think of such a thing," retorted Mary before kissing him, swallowing up his burst of laughter.