New Normal
Epilogue
Some time in the future
Even though it was just the two of them and he had seen her shed plenty of tears over the years, Mary couldn't help but feel somewhat embarrassed. Still, she was smiling, looking down at his expectant face. His hands were clutching hers, which meant she couldn't wipe away any tears.
"Tom... you don't have to do this," she choked out, putting aside her own selfish desires. This was everything she has dreamed of for years but now that it was in front of her, she knew she couldn't accept.
"I know." He was still gazing up at her. "But I love you. And I love our life and our children... and it would make me very happy if you would accept."
Mary swallowed, thinking back to the first time he made this particular offer. Things were already different; instead of casually making the suggestion on the couch in between commercial breaks, he had spontaneously appeared at the office just before her lunch and taken her for a picnic and a walk along the estate, stopping by the bench that she had now come to view as theirs rather than just hers— it was, after all, in some ways the place where it had all began, even though they hadn't known it yet. He was on one knee, gazing up at her with the love she knew he felt.
"You aren't... you aren't just doing this because of the twins, are you?" The words were out before she could stop them. "I mean—"
Tom let out a sigh. "When I asked you this question before, I wasn't asking you for the right reasons." They had never discussed this before, not since the morning after in the kitchen. "I wasn't honest with myself back then. I didn't want to lose you but I didn't know what I was feeling... and I didn't know how to tell you, either. And Robert has put the idea in my head..." Tom trailed off. "But this time, it's different. I've thought it through. I'm asking you the way you deserve to be asked... and because I want to." He swallowed. "To be completely honest, Mary, I've known for years now that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you... back when we really were just friends. Even then, I couldn't imagine the rest of my life without you in it."
She wanted to say yes. So, so badly. "But what about Sybil?" This was the crux of the matter, at least for her. In a perfect world, this wouldn't be happening.
A sad look crossed his face. Mary tried to hide her disappointment. Of course... now that she had invoked those magic words, all possibility of this would be lost to her. It was the only sensible thing to do and Mary knew logically it was for the best. Even if all her dreams came true, she could never be happy if she wasn't certain Tom wanted it, too.
"What Sybil and I had was rare. It's something that most people never have. And I'm glad that I had that time with her, no matter how short it was." He swallowed, looking down at Mary's hand, still in his. "I was lucky to know her, lucky to love her. But... What you and I have, it's different. And it's no less meaningful. And... well, I never thought I be able to feel like this again. I never thought I could ever want anyone else... but I want you, Mary. I love you and I want you." He looked up at her, eyes glistening with tears. Mary was blinking back more of her own, his words conjuring them up. "If you don't— well, I understand, but—"
"Of course I do," Mary interrupted him with a whisper, not wanting him to believe her reluctance to accept was any fault of his. She squeezed his hand tight. "I do. Yes."
Tom's face broke out into a big smile before he slid the ring onto her finger. His fingers shook and he was close to tears himself by the time he raised himself to his full height and kissed her.
One year later
Anna pinned another flower in Mary's hair. "There," she said softly, stepping back, allowing Mary to admire her masterpiece.
Mary tilted her head. "Thank you," she said, entranced by the contrast of the white petals in her dark hair. "It looks lovely."
"It does," said Mama, echoing her sentiments. She was standing somewhere behind Mary. "Well done, Anna."
"It's nothing," she insisted modestly, but was quickly cut off by Edith, who insisted she needn't minimize her talents.
"Are you going to add flowers to Viola's hair?" George asked suddenly, causing Mary to turn around. He was sitting on her old bed, the same one she slept in whenever she stayed the night at Downton, just as she had last night— Mama and Papa still had their traditions and superstitions. Viola was on his lap, squirming around, her springy chestnut curls hanging loose.
"I don't think she'll will be able to sit still long enough," Mary replied, crossing the room to be near her children. When she noticed her mother approaching, Viola lifted her arms up, nearly hitting George in the face. Mary picked her up, moving her hand away as Viola tried to undo Anna's hard work. "But it would look very pretty," she said, smiling at her son.
"I could do something—"
"It's alright," insisted Mary, dismissing Anna at once. "I think she looks beautiful as she is."
George swung his feet, his shoes hitting the bedspread. He looked dashing in his little suit, far too grown up for a young boy... but the occasion called for it. "Are you excited?" she asked him, sitting down next to him on the bed as Anna began talking with Mama and Edith about something.
George nodded as he said, "Yeah." Mary let Viola crawl off her lap and back over to George. "You look really pretty."
Mary softened. "Thank you, darling. You're very handsome." She reached over, stroking his blond hair. Matthew would be so proud of him...
There was a knock at the door and the muffled sound of crying. "Come in!" Edith called out, walking over to the door.
"Sorry to intrude," Bertie said, opening the door, Percy in his arms. Mary began to wonder if perhaps Tom had been right to question how wise it was to dress him in a suit... but he did look so darling. "Someone was very insistent that he see his mother."
Mary was on her feet in an instant. A part of her wondered if going on honeymoon was such a good idea, especially with the babies (who weren't really babies anymore, but they would always be her babies). Percy was so attached to her... but it was probably for the best. Tom had pointed out that they hadn't ever really had the chance to be alone together without them and sometimes they needed time to be themselves instead of parents, especially since the twins practically consumed them with it. There had been a fair share of strained moments, times when Mary wondered if their relationship was strong enough to survive it, but once they worked through things, it always was.
"It's alright, darling," murmured Mary as Percy wailed into her neck, repeating, "Mama," over and over again. He was her fussy boy... "I'm here."
"How is he going to manage without you?" Edith wondered, peering at her nephew, whose tears were gradually dissipating.
"I'm not sure... but he'll have to." Percy still cried sometimes when she dropped him off to stay with Mama and Papa when she went to the office, so she was uncertain how he would manage for three nights. "I'm sure George and Sybbie will help him feel a little less homesick... won't you?" She asked George, who nodded enthusiastically.
George was an enormous help with the twins. He genuinely enjoyed playing with them and holding them, often assisting Tom and Mary without having been asked prior. Sybbie adored them as well, but grew irritated sooner than him and usually found some excuse to wander off with Seth when it became too much. Mary wondered if maybe her resolve to never have babies might stick through adulthood. Nevertheless, they had both proved to be excellent siblings to the twins.
When Percy finally calmed down, Mary glanced at the clock. It was almost three... She handed him back to Bertie, still hovering outside in the hallway, as if her bedroom had some invisible line that warded off all men. "There," she said, then bent down to be eye level with Percy, her brown eyes meeting his own, "I'll see you again soon." Thankfully he didn't start crying again after Bertie carried him down the hall.
"Are you really sure about all this, darling?" asked Mama, nearly causing Mary to sigh in exasperation.
"More than anything. Now will you please stop asking me that?"
The twins had helped heal the rifts they had unknowingly formed during Mary's pregnancy, but things with her family weren't always harmonious bliss. Mama and Edith had come to accept her and Tom but Mary knew they still didn't like it. It had led to some fights and strained family dinners but things had calmed down for the most part, save for occasional comments like these. The twins were loved by all of the family and were doted on by nearly everyone. Even Granny, who was usually eager to let babies be held an arm's length away, was fond of them— especially Viola, who she insisted was Mary miniature.
But there were still these comments, usually from her parents— "Are you sure about this?" or "What will people say?"— as if that line hadn't been crossed the moment Mary realized she was pregnant. Besides, people didn't care as much as Mama and Papa thought they did... The neighbors next door hadn't realized they weren't already married until Tom had passed by after taking a jog and mentioned the wedding planning.
Anna handed Mary her bouquet just as there was another knock on the door. Mama opened the door without checking to see who it was, already knowing who it was.
"Mary," Papa addressed her, blinking. It took him a moment before he smiled. "You look lovely, my dear girl."
"Thank you, Papa." She beamed as he crossed the room, kissing his cheek.
"We'll slip out now," said Mama, referring to herself and Edith. She kissed Mary's cheek as well, saying, "I know you may have a hard time believing this, but all I want is your happiness."
It took all of Mary's self restraint to not roll her eyes. That wasn't the same thing as I'm so glad you're happy and Mama knew it. Nevertheless, she gave her mother a polite, if curt, thank you. Edith decided to skip platitudes that meant little to her and merely said, "You look beautiful," before departing. Anna left shortly thereafter, pinning a piece of hair that had come loose back into place before walking out with George and Viola, promising to meet them downstairs.
"Are you ready?" asked Papa, glancing at the clock.
"I am," she responded.
He hesitated before admitting, "Look, Mary... I know I've been hard on you at certain points over the years. Both of you," he added. "And even though this isn't exactly what I wanted or ever pictured for you... I'm alright with that, as long as you're happy. As long as you're both happy."
His monologue was all over the place yet the outcome was far better than Mary had ever imagined. "I'm very happy," she told him, pleased when he smiled. He offered her his arm and they walked out of the room.
When they reached outside, Mary could see the chairs set up, composed of the people they loved. The piano had been brought out for Jimmy to play the wedding processional, and Thomas sat next to him as a page turner, Tessa balanced on his lap. She spied Niamh Branson in the front, wearing a bright, colorful hat as she sat next to Kieran. Several of his relatives, cousins and aunts and uncles were on that side of the aisle. John was near the back, holding Belle while motioning Johnny to sit down as Evelyn Napier and his wife filed down the row to find their seats. Isobel and Dickie were seated next to Granny, the two women tittering back and forth. She wondered what they were arguing about now.
Anna was standing near the children, catching a glimpse of Mary and wearing a radiant smile. Sybbie was holding Percy's hand and Seth's leash, looking impatient in her blue dress. George was dealing with Viola, who was jumping up and down. The alter, which was a trellis, was obscured from her sights by the large tree.
As Sybbie began walking with Percy and Seth down the aisle, Jimmy began playing. She heard the guests start cooing. Mary tried to steady her breathing as she approached closer and closer. Anna sent George and Viola up the aisle, the latter refusing to walk only to be scooped up in George's arms.
Tom was standing there, next to their bench, the blue suit bringing out his eyes. Her heart thudded in her chest and for a split second, she felt as if it was only the two of them standing there.
When her and Papa reached him, Tom held out his hand for her to take. Mary accepted it, almost relieved when she realized how sweaty they were. In the back of her mind, she had still worried that maybe Tom was only doing this for her sake... though she realized how silly a thought it was. Over the years, Tom had made his love for her apparent in everything he did or said and she knew how much he had been looking forward to this day, despite half believing it would never come for him.
"Dearly beloved," began Reverend Travis. Mary's eyes met Tom's and he let his thumb run over knuckles.
A/N: Thank you all for following along with Tom and Mary's journey, I really do appreciate it! I do have more stories about them planned that I hope to post soon, but until then, please stay healthy and safe!
