Summary:
When Seamus kisses Lavender, she hopes to feel something. After all, he's cute and she likes spending time with him. But she feels nothing, and all she can think about is seeing Parvati.
Lavender looks in the mirror at herself, admiring the dress and her hair and all the effort she made to look her very best. Though it feels wasted, somehow. She can't quite put her finger on it and she's not sure why.
She had been so excited to go to the Yule ball with Seamus. He's cute, he's funny and she knows that a few girls in the school hoped to go with him, so when he asked her… well… isn't this what she wanted? To be like the other girls and have fun at the ball with a cute guy? Especially someone she knows she'll have fun with whilst there. It's why she said yes. Because she knows Seamus, and it just makes sense to go with him. She couldn't go without a date.
But… but he kissed her. At the end of the ball, he walked her to the common room and he had leaned in for a kiss, his arms around her waist, and she'd wrapped her arms around his neck and met his lips, excited at the prospect of finally experiencing her first kiss, and…
Nothing. It didn't feel right. It felt like nothing. There are no other words to describe the lack of feelings that this kiss brought about, and internally she's panicking because shouldn't she feel something? Shouldn't it be fireworks and butterflies and sparks? Shouldn't it be like one of her books?
She wasn't the only one to feel like this. He pulled away just as quickly, his brow furrowing as he looked at her. He makes excuses, muttering apologies, trying to leave before it gets awkward.
"I don't feel anything either," Lavender admits quietly, and the relief on his face is something she understands. It's not going to be awkward, there won' t be any lingering emotions or hurt feelings. The friendship can be repaired, because neither of them want anything more. The situation is fixed. Well, it will be fixed tomorrow because there's still an awkward moment as they stand there, trying to determine how to end the night. They're awkward because they're still in that moment.
"I've gotta go see Dean," Seamus finally admits. The smile on his face is like nothing Lavender has seen before, and there's the emotion the kiss was missing. She merely nods and whispers her goodnights, causing him to do the same. He turns and rushes for the dorm and Lavender wonders if Dean is even back yet - though she suspects that Seamus knows he is. Lavender stares after him for a long moment, but she gets it. Some things need to be shared with a close friend.
She needs Parvati. She needs to see her friend too, and the thought of her best friend brings emotions. Where were those emotions when she was kissing Seamus?
So she goes up to the dorms, though she knows her friend is still at the Yule ball, having the time of her life. She fixes her hair and checks her make-up. She makes sure she looks her best and she waits.
She needs to talk to her best friend about so much, starting with the kiss, because maybe Parvati will help her understand why it didn't feel right. Maybe she'll have some advice or words of wisdom, because Lavender is so confused. Why isn't she like the other girls, all eager to go out with a cute guy?
But most of all, Lavender wants Parvati's full attention as they sit and chat. Her friend looked beautiful today - though she always does - and Lavender doesn't want to share her with everyone else. She wants to sit on her bed with Parvati and whisper about their evenings, and admire the beauty that is Parvati without others to distract them.
