Reviews :
Xaehttium : Hey, long time no see. How are you doing? I'm sorry that chapter made you mad. Thank you for your input, tho, much appreciated!
faolan1230 : Oh, no, I said I was TWENTY chapters ahead of you guys :) So that, times two lol!
Song Listened To :
Thank You by Lena
*Chapter 170*
"Turbo," Berri's gentle voice pressed in a soft lilt of nervousness.
"Nothing happened between us, I put you to bed with your clothes on and joined you, with my OWN clothes on," Turbo suddenly rushed, his voice was clogged, nasally and defeated. He inhaled a raspy breath and urgently continued on, "I'm assuming we both kicked our clothes off in the middle of the night. It's how we both sleep, anyways. Do you remember what happened in the pool? Cause a LOT happened there, and I'll be happy to remind you."
"... Turbo, I remember what happened in the pool," Berri urged in quiet terror, she shook her head and largely frowned at just how nervous, defensive and abrasive Turbo was being, she rushed to press on, "How come you're acting so defensive? I remember everything up until I passed out, and, I don't know about you, but it was freaking amazing. I'm trying to ride off of that feeling, alone. I didn't care if anything else happened the rest of the night cause I'm sure I enjoyed the hell out of it, considering."
"Well, it's not anything we have to worry on, anymore," Turbo pressed darkly, he inhaled a shaky breath and firmly pressed on, "I was happy to help you out, last night. I'm sorry it all had to end like this."
"Bo, it's... Fine, I just think we need to take a step back and assess what this is REALLY about," Berri rushed, she could tell Turbo was now on a slippery slope to full-on spiraling.
"I know what this is really about, this is about me not leaving the game," Turbo's voice firmly rattled the world, he now sounded angry, though Berri could tell this was now something he was entirely directing at himself, "This is why I preferred to be left alone. This is WHY I didn't invite anyone in. This is why I requested the loneliest room in Orion City's highest tower, because I EVENTUALLY screw EVERYTHING up!"
"Then I'm sorry I ever came knocking on your door," Berri rebutted, she knew they were now fighting fire with fire, a misunderstanding spiraled so far out of control, she shut her eyes tight and grit her teeth in the continuation of delivered damage, "I'm sorry I ever tried to be apart of your life, I'm sorry I ever thought this stood a chance. I love you with all of my heart, and was willing to set aside expectations JUST to get a taste of your soul, Turbo, but if you REALLY want that lonely room in Orion City's highest tower, then, by ALL means. Help yourself."
"Berri, I didn't want this," Turbo sharply pressed, "I wished this unfolded so differently."
"Maybe it WOULD have if you didn't freak out like you did," Berri rushed, "Turbo, look, I'm... Sorry for maybe being a little too harsh and leaving so suddenly, just... Surely you see where I'm coming from? At least a little?"
"I do, I could've acted normal and made you feel good and not jumped to conclusions," Turbo staggered in the act of desperately continuing to stifle tears, "I didn't have a chance to begin repairing mine and Libby's relationship before she was just gone, I really.. Thought I had this all in the bag, I could conquer this time around like a pro. It's all I've been dwelling on for YEARS..."
"Turbo, the difference here is I'm still HERE, I'm still alive," Berri sharply gestured to her chest and felt as if she was going crazy, "You're running in circles, here, this isn't something we can't eventually solve and get to the bottom of. Weren't you GLAD that nothing happened between us, then? It's not something you have to be so sore over, anymore!"
I just... Need to be alone," Turbo huffed nervously, "I just have no clue how to navigate any of this. I thought I'd be ready for a relationship and everything it entails, but I guess I jumped in way too soon."
"I'm sorry your chances weren't worth me," Berri mumbled in a furrowed look of crumpling sorrow, though she could tell this pierced Turbo's heart in definitive realization with the way he fell speechless, "You're on the whitelist for Archived Chaos' back stage... If you ever feel up to coming to one of our final five shows, if you finally feel as though you have the courage to not ALLOW history to repeat itself, you know where to find me."
"Yes, ma'am," Turbo's deep voice defeatedly pressed with a sniffle, and though Berri wondered, for a split second, if he could maybe have more to say, she sharply removed the phone from her ear and ended their call.
With the sag of the universe now draped over the pair like a strained, jagged vine of thorns, the game continued to press on in powered sunrises and sunsets. With the fortune of being able to have solid distractions, such as shows and the wonderful company to constantly be surrounded by, Berri felt her heart begin to harden and feel sharp, nervous worry towards her lonely, grey TurboTime guy. With each show, meet and greet, photo op, she wondered just what exactly he could be doing. Every single time she went to reach for her phone and possibly just assure him that she still loved him, she hesitated, recalling his thorny request to be left alone. Although she put on a face and did very well to phase the group about her, she knew, full well, that Wren, Throttle and Theo could see through her tiring facade. Everything behind that sunny, adorable, blue haired mask of a grin was surely the shell of a broken soul, she was sure it was noticeable in time where her lost blue eyes would dully look off in thoughts of revisited despair. The heartbreak she endured was surely easier to go through than it would be all alone, she felt guilt plague her with the raw fact that poor Turbo was cooped up in his loft, likely overthinking every single little tiny word he ever spoke into existence.
Trying desperately not to feel too guilty about it all, all whilst respecting the space Turbo made very clear that he needed, Berri sat in her bathroom, with the door opened, and could hear Wren, Theo, Throttle, Gunner and Bedgy excitedly begin to loosely plan a night out on the town, the night before their last show inside of Castle Run. Berri knew everyone around her was just continuing on with their lives, an easy move forward just to get through the rest of this tour, though she lulled her eyes closed and sat down at the lovely, low stool in her bathroom, she felt as if her insides were about to start eating themselves due to just how little of an appetite she had. Sagged, sorry and miserable, her sunken, dreary eyes caught her reflection, something she held lazily to and almost darkly relished in the sheer fact that she hardly even looked like herself any longer. She always heard that heart break was a terrible feeling, though as her and Turbo sunk deeper into it, she wondered just how much deeper it had to go. She tried to inhale a breath, her rib cage seemingly croaked due to the effort, though as she could hear Gunner's playful, excited voice nearing, she urgently stiffened her spine and continued to nonchalantly brush her hair, she looked off and was counting the seconds she could skulk into her own bedroom and not have to force a robotic act in front of anyone.
"Babe! We're gunna head to the local pub, here," Gunner started happily, he eased his eyes into Berri's bathroom and caught with her lit up gaze, it falsely twinkled underneath her beautiful chandelier, in her bathroom, "Y'getting ready to go, yeah? You up for it?"
"Oh, no, you... You guys go have fun," Berri firmly assured with a sleepy smile, she cutely shrugged and continued to brush her lovely blue hair, "It's our last night here, and... I'm absolutely pooped, I would just be yawning the entire time."
"You feeling okay?" Gunner wondered tenderly, the choice to quietly stuff their differences and desperately remain civil was genuinely working out, something Berri was eternally grateful for, though she almost stiffened with the loving way Gunner pressed his gaze into hers. Now having a shred of a taste of Turbo's love, every single loft of Gunner's romantic, loving eyes had her tensing in a wild, inner battle of frustration. How badly she wanted to be scooped up into loving arms, like prior, the open familiarity of Gunner being present made her feel the terrible urge to rebound and dive right back into Gunner's love. She did absolutely everything she could to urgently resist his non-verbal advances, she was certain he could sense that something wasn't quite right in her little blue world. She walled, a convincing mask of pure bliss, she cutely smiled to him as he warmly carried on, "You're usually so ready to jump up and head somewhere."
"I know, I know, but... I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, I think I'm just going to hit the hay," Berri's lovely, soothing voice assured, she bobbed Gunner a small smile and nodded, "You guys don't hold back, you GO and have fun. I'll be here, snoozing."
"Okay, if you're sure," Gunner sweetly eased, he furrowed his brow and gave her a concerned, prolonged look of hesitation, though much to Berri's whole relief, he tossed her a gentle wave and slipped out of her bathroom, and ultimately her bedroom.
Berri finally exhaled and slumped, she eased the brush to her lap and aimlessly looked down at the tiles of her bathroom. She narrowed her gaze and felt her insides beg her to do something productive with all of this sorrow, she squinted and knew full well she wouldn't even be able to sleep tonight. A toss and turn of desperately fighting the urge to call Turbo and overflow him with assurance, she held her breath and dared to let her brain revisit the lovely memories of playing inside Orion City, under disguise. The feel of belting into a microphone and calling the shots, she bit her lip in whole contemplation and felt her heart begin to thud with purpose. Although the group in the living room of their suite was noisy and excited, it all ceased with the gentle clap of their larger front door. With said cease of noise, Berri jolted to a stand, grappled her larger makeup bag, on her counter, and effortlessly dug through it. Deep in a hulled away pocket, she nervously unveiled the disguise talisman Turbo had crafted, just for her. She bit her lip and knew her night started right now, with the crew gone, she was well aware that the countdown to another taste of freedom was now slowly ticking away, and any moment of apprehensive weighings of pros and cons would only rob her of more time.
Desperate to get her mind off of everything all whilst staying away from her core group of band members, she slapped on her disguise, did her make up, dolled up as quick as she could and effortlessly left the game with no trace or evidence that she was gone. A risky ploy, she confidently took the very first train she could grab clear across Arcade's creation. Desperate to continue to be way out of Turbo's way, she hugely resisted the urge to go back to Orion City. Knowing full well he wouldn't be inside the city, in this trying time, the train she was on rocketed past Game Central Station before she could cave in to temptation and hopelessly do everything she could to randomly bump into Turbo. En route to EZ Living's lonely outlet, she knew she had to go somewhere that was safe and familiar, somewhere she knew Turbo would never be, somewhere she was well aware she absolutely would not bump into anyone she knew.
Feeling invigorated by EZ Living's excitable night life, this Friday night was full of loud music, great smelling food, a cram packed board walk and pier that Berri so nonchalantly traversed. She adored the feeling of slow strolling about a crowd and not being bombarded. She crowed the easiest smile, she took this chance to really look people in the eyes and relish in the notion of them simply peering back and looking off in unassuming manners. Helpless to her own demise, she was eager to find yet another open mic where she could sing her heart out, play by her own rules, somehow the sheer fact that she had just come out of a massive, expensive, incredibly beautiful stage performance to literally tens of thousands of screaming fans didn't hold a candle to her own little sessions to a crowd of maybe fifty, drunken, loud and unsuspecting party-goers. She promised herself the latter was far for exciting, to see the look in people's eyes once she let loose her voice, something she's felt nervous about stifling for too long. Pent up energy finally being unleashed, once and for all, Berri very quickly turned this wonderful, clear, breezy beach side night into a bounce of bar hopping for open mics and stages that would squeeze her in to their listings.
With a skip in her step, her sorrows finally a bit more muted, she inhaled a deep breath and lulled her eyes closed amidst the moonlight, the sound of a bustling, excited pier, the smell of amazing food and the tinkering of music coming out of nearly every establishment she passed. Her heels clacked on the stone of concrete she proudly strut down, Berri was well aware that she had to take care of herself, in this trying time. Although desperate to reach out to Turbo to see if he, too, was taking good care of himself, she resisted, desperate to keep these temptations under control. How easy it was to coddle such a fragile, shy soul, she shook her head and knew they both needed to bite the bullet. They both needed to pick themselves up by their boot straps and get on with life, whether that included each other, right now, or not. With her head held high, she continued to strut on, though she sharply furrowed her eyebrows the second she heard a gentle, raspy, girly voice call after her.
"Ma'am?" She called, Berri furrowed her eyebrows and remained unwavering, wondering if maybe said call was for another woman about her, though the voice persisted, "Ma'am? You, uh... Forgot this."
Berri nervously turned about and felt her heart sink with the worry of just exactly what she could've left behind. Amidst the darker board walk, only illuminated by the moon and nearby bustling shops, restaurants and other establishments, Berri peered to the shorter figure approaching her. A woman in a dark maroon hoodie with the hood up, she wore torn jeans and was careful to give direct eye contact. With a great amount of hesitancy, Berri was absolutely shocked to see this woman slowly hand over Berri's phone. Berri raised her eyebrows in whole surprise and finally peered into this woman's eyes, she couldn't see her face all too well, though the twinkle of guilt held true in this stranger's eyes.
"Oh, wow, I... Could've SWORN this was in my pocket," Berri staggered in a rise of nervousness, she pat her coat's pocket in apprehension and took note that her phone wasn't there. In the twinge of continued concern, she gently reached out her hand and cautiously received her phone from this stranger.
"It was," The woman nervously muttered, she looked down, tucked her hands into her pockets and finally gave Berri a bit more confident eye contact, "I-I... I don't have the heart to steal from someone I really admire."
Berri furrowed her brow in a sharp pang of fight or flight. Her coding begged her to escape this now-known pick-pocketer, though her brain urgently halted said roll of coding and firmly reminded her that this stranger potentially knew of Berri's true identity. Berri held her breath, side-eyed this person in warm suspicion and felt her hands begin to shake in the roll of being discovered.
"I... I saw your lock screen, a picture of you and Turbo," Her voice was gentle and raspy, a womanly show of cute, almost nervous delight, Berri was sure this woman couldn't be much different from herself. She shrugged her shoulders and peered into Berri's eyes with sweet, nervous delight, "Berri, can I please have your autograph?"
"... A-Am I really that obvious?" Berri staggered with a nervous smile, she now began to almost look about in terror, surely praying their conversation was quiet enough so no one else heard, though Berri made the sharp decision to get out of the full view of the general public. She so gently grabbed this woman's arm and began to lead her towards a quieter area of the board walk, closer to the base of the lovely splay of EZ Living palm trees. Berri tucked her short brown hair behind her ears and peered down to this person, the moonlight lit their area little bit brighter due to the passing of a cloud, "I-I'll... I'll give you my autograph if you just... Please, I'm begging you, PLEASE keep this to yourself."
"Yeah, cause I could easily go to the press with this," The woman staggered a cute giggle, shrugged her shoulders and shook her head, "Gunner would lose his shit and Bedgy would have to do damage control."
Berri long-blinked in a rise of whole entire confusion, and though she opened her mouth to tenderly carry on, she felt as if she was having an out-of-body experience, "H-How do you know who Bedgy is?"
"You and I are not that different, love," She mumbled in cheeky goodness, though much to Berri's whole entire surprise, she gently took down her hood and revealed her face and hair, entirely.
Berri raised her eyebrows in whole shock, covered her mouth and took a wary step away. She suddenly felt a roll of a feeling she had not felt in a very long while, something that came rushing back to her in a cute spark of what it truly felt like to be a child, again. The star struck sting of smiling, trembling glee, she peered to one of her hugest idols in unmitigated bewilderment.
"Sama," Berri huffed in a silent whisper as Sama urgently put her hood back on.
"Yeah, and only ONE of us is out here with a disguise," Sama whispered sharply, she shook her head and peered to Berri in soft, smiling urgency, "I'm glad I bumped into you. I've been trying to figure out just how I can possibly get a SHRED of your time. Can we... Please go somewhere to talk?"
"Sure," Berri nodded with now determined certainty, though she felt her stomach tightly clench with the idea of the idea that she'd now have to go to one of the only safe spots, between here and Castle Run, to actually sit and talk; Sugar Rush.
