And now it's time for a special occasion: the first request! Let's see if EpicMusicLover here on appreciates me taking his song and character name with this!
Unlike their first client's turnaround, the entire job with Reginald and Lungless made a real splash in Hell. The mob storming the manufacturer's headquarters, the sudden announcement that the best-selling White brand would be a one-day only item and how the thousands of people who took the elusive drug suddenly had no desire for nicotine anymore raised several questions. Who was responsible? Could this feat be repeated? Was this the greatest practical joke the underworld had ever seen?
There were even rumors that perhaps it was the Elite Beat Agents given that an interview with Reginald Moncrun, who had already taken his earnings and was restoring an old speakeasy, had called for help right before inventing the miraculous cigarettes and suddenly the idea came to him.
While this did raise Charlie's prospects, it also proved to be the minority as her assistants found that most still saw the EBA as a complete joke. Thankfully, word of Alastor's involvement had made all but the most brazen and/or suicidal of demons refrain from trying to genuinely harm to the place.
Another job soon rang out, though, this time in the dead of night. Charlie, Merek and Dorris, however, threw themselves together and rushed out onto the streetlamp-lit avenues of the hellish metropolis to help out their next client.
When your city is the literal final destination for most of the world's career criminals, the streets are overflowing with shifty types who look for any opportunity to pilfer the pockets of the unsuspecting traveler or person returning home late after an extra-long shift. It was standard procedure to have at least two lethal weapons on hand at all times as soon as the sun starts setting in the sky.
Walking the streets, however, was someone with dozens of tools at his disposal. An unsuspecting type at only 5'4", scrawny physique and a pair of wide eyes, Isaac was famous for his coat. A beaten-up brown trench coat that he wore everywhere in public had two pockets that contained nearly every tool a criminal could need. Lockpicks, poison vials, breathalyzers, spare ammo for every firearm ever made and of course a plethora of weapons ranging from easily hidden daggers to SMGs amongst many other tools of the trade.
This bottomless arsenal, a quick wit and a tenacity for big hauls has earned this petite demon the name "Isaac the Invincible" and for years he was the first man to call for completing any job or taking care of any unsightly evidence. Helping to back up his reputation was him being a nationally wanted con artist at the age of 22 before a stray bullet in a shootout to defend his collection of underworld contacts shot through his mortal coil.
As he slunk down the sidewalk now, though, Isaac was no star of the black market. A heist gone wrong where his four cohorts decided to leave him for dead in order to save their own hides left him beaten to a pulp and only alive because he pulled out all of the cash his coat could summon. From that point on, he relied on pickpocketing easy marks or rummaging through dumpsters to find his next meal. Meanwhile, the four fucks who double-crossed declared him dead and thus got his share of their job worth millions and were living it up in a ritzy penthouse with all the booze and banging they could want.
His hands clutched in anger as his purple face recalled the memory but was snapped out of it by the sound of approaching footsteps. He turned to see two burly goons in tuxedoes emerge from an alley way.
"Oh no…" Isaac muttered, "Let me guess, you're looking for me."
"Sharp," one of them remarked, "I can see why you're our mark."
"Those bastards put you up to this? Why?!"
"Simple. You know too much," the other one answered, "Come with us quietly and we'll make it painless."
"Oh yeah, 'cause I can totally rat them out to cops here…" Isaac snarked before turning tail and running. He could hear the assassins behind him as he swerved between allies and leapt over dumpsters to lose them, only to run face-first into a brick wall. As he struggled to get up, he felt the cold metal barrel of a pistol being pressed to the back of his head.
"Time's up, Mr. Invincible…"
"We're gonna see if you live up to that title…"
The petite demon's head blanked. All of the misdeeds he had done both in life and here in Hell flashed in front of him. Now he saw all the people he hurt, all the damage he had done, and swore to whatever god was listening that he would change his ways if he would just survive this…
"HEEEEEEEEELP!"
The signature car of the EBA barreled through the lamplit streets of Pentagram City and soon braked hard on the sidewalk some ways up the street where Isaac was facing his last moments. The thugs were dragging the whole ordeal out and while it brought the agents' client closer to peeing himself, it also gave them ample time to leap onto an apartment roof and start their next song.
(Song: Sanjou Ginyu Tokusentai by You Yamazaki (Dragon Ball Z Kai OST)
Isaac suddenly felt his old fire come back with a vengeance, the fear of death losing out to his desire to get back at the pricks who put him in this mess.
Ore no na wa Rikuumu
Saikyou no pawaa sa
O-inochi wo choudai shichau kara ne (Touh!)
Urutora faiteingu mirakuru bonbaa de
Kasa wa min'na o souji shichau yo
First off was to shoo off the schmucks trying to shoot him. Isaac reached into his unending pockets and dug out a smoke bomb before setting it off to make the perfect cover. Years of honing his stealth meant that he could effortlessly sneak away once he had his feet under him.
Ore ga Baata sa
Aoi harikeen sa
Wow muteki no supiido
Next was to find the cronies who double-crossed him. That was pretty easy to figure out as he watched his assassins drive off to report they failed. All he had to do was follow them.
Yes, we are!
Tada'ima sanjou! Uchuu-ichi no eriito senshi
Naku komo damaru ze Ginyuu Tokusentai
Thanks to years of honing his skills in two lives, hopping across rooftops was like a pleasant jog to Isaac as he felt his confidence return with each bound.
Yes, we are!
Supesharu faitingu poozu wo misete yarou
Sono utsukushisa ni, sah hizamazuku ga ii
(Tokusentai x4)
Soon the goons' car pulled up outside a secure high-rise building on the semi-nicer part of the city. Cameras and security guards monitored the area, but Isaac had even more goodies for this occasion.
Ore koso Jiisu da
Akai maguma to yobe
Ore ga tokusentai No.2 da
Kurasshaa booru de kawaigatte yarou ka?
Kawaigarutte, yoshiyoshi janai zo
He dug out a laptop from his pockets and quickly let his programs designed to cripple electronic surveillance do the rest. While the computer worked, he pulled out a grappling hook and night-vision goggles and soon found the perfect gap in the guards' position to slip in. Even as he ended up looking straight down at the asphalt below him as he climbed, he smirked. Like that would stop him!
Gurudo wa ore da
Jikan tomete yarou
Wow, hontou no esupaa sa
He touched down on the roof with nary a sound, knocking out the guards with precise strikes to the necks as he moved.
Yes, we are!
Tada'ima sanjou! Uchuu-ichi no eriito senshi
Ore-tachi tenka no Ginyuu Tokusentai
He moved to unlock the door leading down to the lower levels, but a guard opened it from the other side. Before he could pull a weapon or call for backup, though, Isaac rooted around his pockets to find a wad of bills and shoved it in his hand before rushing inside. A pity the guard did not know it was actually a disguised dye bomb…
Yes, we are!
Oyatsu wa chokoreeto pafe de kimari nano sa
Omae ni wakete nado yaranai kara na
(Tokusentai x4)
Down the stairs Isaac ran, knowing that stealth was no longer on his side once his little bribe went off. Even with the cameras all thoroughly useless, he could hear the stampede of thugs looking to catch him. That was why he barged directly into the lounge in the basement of the place where his old buddies were all lazing around counting money.
Ore-sama ga Ginyuu da
Taichou to yobareru
Kisama no chikara subete miseru ga ii
Furiiza-sama no tame
Ore wa tatakau no da kisama ga dare de arou to mo taosu
"Remember me, fellas?" Isaac waved as all four of the ringleaders pointed guns at him. He held his hands up, keeping them far away from his pockets as the hallway behind him became congested with musclemen looking to end him for trespassing and breaking and entering.
"So, got a way outta this one, tough guy?!" one of the leaders boasted, holding a revolver to Isaac's forehead.
Kouei ni omoe
Yorokobi no dansu o ima, misete yarou janai ka
"Well… There is what's already in my hand…" Isaac opened his right hand revealing what looked like a golf ball. One swift flick of the wrist, though, revealed it was a flashbang and soon the whole crowd lost him as the invincible crook ran into the room….
Yes, we are!
Tada'ima sanjou! Uchuu-ichi no eriito senshi
Kaeru wa kirai daNazeka wakaran ga
Yes, we are!
Junban kime wa kouhei ni na janken dazo
Senshi wa fea nanoda
Oboetoku ga ii
(Tokusentai x4)
When the confusion finally died down, the four main crooks all looked down and realized they had bullets riddling their bodies. Several of their own men were either bleeding on the floor or bolted from the scene.
They looked out into what was their mounds of stolen goods and realized that Isaac somehow swiped every ounce of money they had. Hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of dollars were gone, no doubt stuffed into those famous pockets of his.
"Wha…? What the fuck just happened?"
"Isaac the Invincible… This is why… We wanted him dead…"
And outside the building, the now beaming Isaac recovered his laptop and ran off into the night with his pockets bulging from the sheer stacks of cash they were flooded with. He felt tempted to start splurging, but he remembered his vow. As the flow of adrenaline stopped, he began thinking of how to finally hang up his coat and go straight. After all, Isaac the Invincible was sure to be known now for the greatest last hurrah in crime in all of Hell!
Remember, if any of you out there have ideas for songs, scenarios, OCs or even just stuff you want to see, leave something in the comments! I'm dying to see what else will come after this! Anyhoo, that's all for now until the next call for the Elite Beat Agents!
