Chapter Seven

There's naught, no doubt, so much the spirit calms as rum and true religion.-Lord Byron

It wasn't just her life that had changed. His did. A lot. He was single, and happy that way. He had found himself in Korea, and in the hospital. He needed to be alone, to sort through the nightmares. They were frequent, and resulted in very little sleep. Most of the single women in Crabapple Cove had left him alone, only mildly flirting, and never wanting more with him. That was what he wanted. He wanted time to sort through his life, and the last three years of his life, that was filled with horror, and tragedy.

And then there she was, on his door step, with a little girl, all his own. A million things ran through his mind, could he do it, would he do it? Would his Daisy spark something in him that would bring up the bus, he wasn't to blame, it wasn't his fault. But what if she sparked those feelings that he was the one who killed the baby.

But he looked into her blue eyes, they matched his and he instantly fell in love. All he could think of is this is what love is, not wanting harm to ever come to his little girl.

Then he went to Seattle, he needed to get to know her, and know Margaret all over again. They weren't the same people, and that was going to take some time to get used to.

Daisy was going to be his main priority. There was something about the little girl that sparked everything in him all over again. He couldn't be unhappy with her. And he was happier with her.

She accepted him easily. And he decided it was because he was her father, and she knew that. That's what he liked to think that is. Margaret had to work, and during her shifts, he was able to be alone with Daisy, getting to know her personality. Margaret said it was just starting to show, and she loved it. Hell, he loved it. She was rarely upset, but when she was, look out world. She was like Margaret that way.

"What if I can't be a dad?" Hawkeye asked his father as the two sat in the study. Margaret was upstairs with Daisy which left the two boys alone.

"You have no choice Ben," his father replied. It was rare that Daniel used his real name. "You're already one, and you just have to learn how to be hers."

"I know," he sighed. "Most have time to prepare."

"Yes, that's true. But you have had your entire life. And besides if you doubt anything, look into her eyes. They're yours."

"I know dad," he smiled. "How did you know you were ready for me and Blythe?"

"Just had to be. With Blythe it was easier. I had screwed you up. I knew how to make her perfect."

It was rare that the two spoke of Allegra and Blythe, and they usually kept it in teasing about what a better child Blythe was.

"Your mom and I just had to go with the flow, you came at the beginning of the depression, I was still trying to find myself in my practice, and your mother going from your grandfather's house, to two of us, and soon you blessed our lives. I didn't know what I was doing as a father, I knew the principles of taking care of children, but its different when its your flesh and blood.

You were a boy, so I suppose I knew more of what you needed than I did with Blythe. She was easier and more of a challenge. Your mother and I knew how to juggle you two quicker than we expected. And like I said, I screwed up with you, I knew what not to do with Blythe. You know her needs, all that is left is connecting emotionally."

"Thanks Dad."

"Anytime."

Margaret set Daisy into the crib, the little girl protested slightly from being removed from her mother's arms, but settled into sleep once again. The three had arrived back in Crabapple Cove mere hours ago, and true to his word, Daniel had completed the nursery. Painted yellow, with butterflies instead of the letters she had in her previous room. He had moved a rocking chair into the room, facing the window, so she could rock her baby to sleep.

"Margaret?" a voice said as Margaret turned around and she smiled. Two weeks in Seattle packing up with Hawkeye changed their relationship. It wasn't weird, awkward at first, or maybe it was weird, they had just lived together in the worst conditions that they didn't know how to do it normally, or as normal as they could with a little girl, living in his father's house. So it was weird.

"She's sleeping," Margaret whispered as Hawkeye came up to the crib and looked down at his little girl.

"I wanted to thank you."

"No need Hawk, I did the right thing," she whispered as the two stood, hands on the crib, looking down at the little girl who opened her mouth. One thing Margaret noticed, and Hawkeye quickly noticed, she snored.

"Come on," he said pulling her away from the crib. "Dad will watch her." Margaret nodded as she moved out of the nursery.

In order for this to work, they needed to talk, in private, a lot, without Daisy as a distraction, or where either could back out.

Margaret enjoyed their time together, while they were in Seattle, dinners were out in restaurants, Daisy on one of their laps, as they talked about everything. From when they needed to talk about things, to Daisy and how they were going to raise her, and how if they needed to move on, they would.

"We're going for dinner, can you listen for her?" Hawkeye asked his father as he thumbed upstairs.

"Of course," Daniel smiled as he looked up from his book. "Don't stay out too late, I need you back at the clinic tomorrow, the Websters are bringing in the kids."

Hawkeye nodded as he handed Margaret her jacket. "We won't be too late. Just grabbing dinner at the Pier, we both know Violet likes to close by 9."

"If you see her, tell her that I need her to come into the clinic someday soon," Daniel said as Hawkeye chuckled.

"Sure thing Dad."

"Thank you Daniel," Margaret said as she waved to her new housemate. Daniel waved as the two adults walked out of the house.

"You'll get to meet the Websters tomorrow. They have eight kids under 17, and another four who are married and off, four girls, four boys, and they insist on every single one coming in at the same time. Dad takes the boys, I get the girls and you and Jean get to entertain Georgia and Robert."

"Sounds entertaining," Margaret chuckled as the two walked down the street.

"Jean will love your help," Hawkeye continued. "She usually has to do it herself. She wacked me on her head when I got back. Had to deal with seven kids at a time. Effy, Betsy, Becky, Violet are a handful on their own, but add the boys, Bobby, Billy, Dick and Charlie, plus Georgia and Robert, nearly drove Jean to drink."

"How many times a year do they come in?"

"Whenever one is sick, we get all of them," Hawkeye said shaking his head. "Already had them when I got back, Effy got the chickenpox, which meant every last one of them were checked. The Websters aren't that bad, just hypochondriacs. You'll get to know a lot of the townsfolk," he mumbled.

Conversations revolved around the townsfolk. They hadn't talked about anything else, other than Daisy, because it wasn't time to talk about them, as a team, as a couple, as anything other than two parents of the same child.

Even that statement itself made Margaret a little nervous. She was doing it by herself, by choice, by need, and now someone else was there to help, there to judge every decision she made, having someone else make decisions.

Did she make the right decision? To move in with the Pierce's, to let Hawkeye be the father in such a bright light of his hometown. Was it right? Was she right for doing that to Daisy? What if it didn't work out, what if she needed to leave, what if it wasn't right for Daisy? Did she now have the right to take her baby away from her father? Would Daisy hate her for living like this?

"Margaret?"

"Are we doing the right thing?" she blurted out.

"What do you mean?"

"Doing this the way we're doing it? What are people going to think about her, about us? What if this doesn't work?"

"Margaret," Hawkeye started.

"No, you're not understanding what I'm saying Hawkeye, I chose to come here to give Daisy her father, but this could be the wrong way."

"Margaret, listen to me please," Hawkeye said sharply grabbing her hands. "It will be okay. We will work everything out in time, everything will go good for that little girl."

"Pierce she doesn't have time, she needs stability, and a future."

"And Margaret, we can give her that, we just have to agree to disagree sometimes," he stated.

Fears were starting to stem, and come to bloom. There was always going to be fear she supposed, there was nothing other than fear surrounding the welfare of her child. Their child.

He was scared shitless. Only two weeks ago he was introduced to a little girl that was his. A year, a year had gone by without a single word from her, and out of the blue, on his door step, in the rain, she appeared on his doorstep, carrying a baby, his baby, and saying that the baby deserved her father.

He said yes. And did he regret it? He didn't know yet. There were doubts, and they were daunting at times, and whether or not things could be easy was still up in the air. Neither knew what they had gotten themselves into, and it was going to be a ride.

Walking into the house, all Margaret could hear was Daisy's wail, as she moved quickly upstairs, to the nursery, seeing Daniel walk the child back and forth. Her wails echoed in Margaret's ears as she moved to take her daughter.

"Been crying since you two left," Daniel explained as he handed the infant to Margaret.

"I'm so sorry," she said softly bringing the child to her chest, rubbing her back soothingly. "Hush baby girl."

"She okay?" Hawkeye asked looking at her father.

"Just wanted her Mama," Daniel smiled patting his son on his shoulder. "I will be in bed if you need me."

"Thank you Daniel," Margaret said turning around as Daisy settled down.

"Margaret?"

"She's fine, just wanted me. New house probably scared her," Margaret replied as she sat down in the rocking chair.

"I can move the crib into your room if you'd like?" Hawkeye offered leaning against the windowsill.

"She has to get used to sleeping on her own again," Margaret replied. "Or else you'll be sleeping with her for the rest of her life." Hawkeye nodded as the two stayed silent, as Daisy was rocked back to sleep. Sure she was used to Hawkeye being around her constantly, but Daniel was new, and not her Mommy, or her Daddy, and she didn't understand that.

It was hoped, in time, that it would work out, that they could be one happy family, for Daisy's sake. For Daisy's sake. That is what she was going to tell herself over and over again, because there were problems, she and Hawkeye got along all right, but they weren't in love-loving someone is different than being in love after all. They were two different human beings, who met in a war, who were forced into living out of each other's back pockets, sometimes she wondered if there was any hope for the pair, who were even so much as forced together because of the night they said goodbye.

Maybe she should have left it at that, a goodbye. Raised Daisy on her own. Put her up for adoption. Well, she couldn't do that, something about the little girl made her smile, like she had never smiled before and that was a special feeling.