"Where We Stand"
It was official. Sakura could not help but think Chiharu had been right about the man. He was an asshole. Possibly the biggest asshole on the planet. She could not understand how he could just embarrass her like that with no shame at all. Had he even felt guilty?
Sakura could almost feel steam blowing from her head when he pointed her out like that, when he caused the distraction in his own class. She had not given her number to anyone else outside of her friends in this class aside from Masamoto, her old boss. She knew he would not text her during school hours, so Syaoran had to be the one to do it.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down as she unconsciously pulled Xing's sleeping form closer to her. She knew he was the only person she needed to think about when it came to this family.
He had fallen asleep about two hours ago after she read his favorite story. He had been feeling sad because Syaoran had not called today, but she somehow cheered him up by distracting him from the thoughts of his absent father.
She held back a huff at the thought of the man again. She wondered who the man thought he was, bossing her around like he had any rights to. She knew he was providing her a home, food, money, and more than she even asked for, but it was because she did her job. He had no right to treat her the way he had today.
"Spoiler alert. It's never going to happen, so give up on him. He's your teacher, if that's enough to make you see how weird and wrong that is," he had said.
Asshole.
It was not what he said specifically, but his intent behind those words just shouted malevolence. She did not know what he was trying to get at because he was now her teacher too and trying to become physically involved with her.
Granted, she knew that her relationship with Syaoran was a lot different with Yukito. She had never really thought about being physically involved with Yukito before. It had almost been a little hard to picture herself kissing him like she had kissed Syaoran. She thought that just came from the unknown of Yukito's feelings for her. Maybe.
She remembered how attracted she felt to Syaoran when she first met him and how she had even thought about how it would feel to kiss him. So, she could admit that it was a lot different with Syaoran, but she knew that Yukito was her ideal type. He was kind-hearted, compassionate about the well-being of others, treated her like his own family, and the list went on. He almost reminded her of her father because he was great at everything just like him. He could cook, sew, and he was athletic. He would even occasionally cut her hair when she needed him to.
She remembered how her brother would tease her about being excited for Yukito to when she were a lot younger. He had offered her a shoulder to cry on, on numerous occasion after her brother had passed too.
Her inner voice told her that Tomoyo had been there for her to cry on as well, but she attempted to ignore it, trying to tell herself that it was a different kind of comfort, which she felt grateful for. But Yukito would even go as far as talking about the times Touya had been alive to help her relive those moments briefly. He would talk about how much Touya cared for her, even though he did not show it much.
She had always thought her brother lived to tease and taunt her, but talking to Yukito made her realize Touya had loved her more than she had thought when he was alive.
She was not sure how Yukito felt about her, but she knew that she felt strongly for him. And because Syaoran had not taken her feelings into consideration, she thought him to be cold-hearted; the complete opposite of Yukito.
She thought about how Syaoran would feel if she had thrown his child's missing mother in his face by saying that she had not wanted to be with him and that he should give up on her. Would he feel this upset too?
Sakura sighed, closing her eyes tightly at that thought. She could not believe she had just thought something so cruel.
She caressed Xing's hair as he snuggled his head on her breast with a soft sigh. Thinking that made her feel like she was throwing that in Xing's face. She felt like she needed to apologize for just even thinking that. She would never wish ill-will on anyone, no matter how horrible they treated her. She wanted the best for everyone.
She would never tell Syaoran that, but she just wished there were some way to make the man understand how it feels to have your feelings disregarded. She thought about him calling tonight, demanding her to do something else, as if he had not done enough today.
Again, she knew he was giving her a lot and that she almost had no right to complain about anything, but she knew that she did not have to everything he told her to. He was only her boss when it came to babysitting Xing and nothing else.
"It would be nice if you could show a little gratitude sometimes, instead of acting like an ungrateful brat."
She did not think she was acting ungrateful or like a brat. She had not been asking him for anything up until now. It was him who forced her to accept things from him. He had been the one to embarrass her and then turn around and act upset as if she had done something wrong in the situation. She knew she should have had her phone off, but it had completely slipped her mind since she never received any messages at school. All her friends were there, so there was no need to have any contact.
Syaoran had been in the wrong today. She would not let up on that conclusion no matter what he tried to make her think. And because he had tried to make her think she was in the wrong, she would not wait up for him tonight. Firstly, because he might try to use that velvety tone and seduce her into something she wanted, but knew they both did not need.
She was aware how attracted she is to the man. Very attracted, no doubts, so she knew how hard it was to resist the pull between them when he was so close. She did not know how far he would take things, and quite frankly, she was not sure how far she would let him. She had reprimanded herself for letting him kiss her like that after mistreating her.
Her cheeks warmed thinking about the way his lips attacked hers with such animosity, as if he needed her every breath to live. She would not let herself succumb a second time like that. Tonight was probably just that; he wanted to put her in yet another spell possibly and she would not let that happen.
As soon as she heard the front door open, she closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. He would not get her a second time.
"I'll see you after school, right?" Xing asked Sakura as Syaoran unbuckled his car seat.
Sakura smiled at him, keeping her eyes directly locked on him. "Of course, honey," she promised. She still had not spoken to Syaoran, and she was hoping that it stayed this way.
"Can I have a kissy?" Xing asked, pointing to his cheek with a grin on his face.
Sakura giggled, getting ready to do just that, but Syaoran interfered. "Xing," he called.
Her smile faltered, turning into a frown at the tone he used.
"Come on," he said, grabbing Xing's little bag before they walked towards the school building, leaving her alone in the car.
Sakura huffed, annoyed that he was still in one of his moods. She could not understand why he was the upset one. Given, she had probably added to the fuel when she went to bed last night instead of waiting for him, but she still saw his behavior unfit.
Syaoran came back ten minutes later, keeping his eyes from her. As soon as the door closed on his side when he settled in, the tension rose in the car between them that it was almost suffocating for Sakura. She took a silent, deep breath, hoping that it would calm her raging heart and jumping nerves.
He cranked the car up, rising the annoyance in her blood that he had not acknowledged her still. She refused to be the bigger person though.
"You didn't wait up for me," he stated quietly.
Chills ran down her spine at the sound of his husky voice. Ignoring that, she glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, seeing his eyes focused on the road. Her eyes dropped to his lips, and her face grew hot at the reminder of yesterday's events.
She still could not believe that she had let him kiss her like that after he embarrassed her in front of the entire classroom. She wondered what she had been thinking, or if she had thought anything at all. Internally, she groaned, wanting to slam her head against something to knock some sense into her stupid, stupid brain.
"Sakura," he called in a tone that she knew all too well at this point.
Her hand clenched around the bag in her lap nervously, not sure how to confront the situation. "Yeah," she said in a small voice. She wanted to punch herself for not having that same confidence she had yesterday.
"There's something I want to talk about..."
She looked at him hesitantly. "What did you need to talk about?" she asked in a much more confident tone this time. She wished she were not so afraid of him at times.
"It doesn't matter," he said shortly.
She frowned. She had never been one to press or push, as she let people come around on their own, but this was a little different. "What does it have to do with?" she asked.
"Nothing."
She looked at his face, seeing no trace of emotions on it.
Just kill me now.
"Are you sure?" she pressed, testing her luck. She had been doing that a lot lately.
When she was met with silence, she sighed softly. "Syaoran," she called gently.
He let out an annoyed sigh as if he were tired of her pestering. "It's nothing," he said in a tone that sounded like he was putting an end to the conversation. So, she left the moody man alone.
When he pulled up to the school, she unbuckled her seatbelt, grabbed her bag, and unlocked the door herself to get out of the man's presence. "Thank you for the ride, Li-sensei," she said, getting ready to open the door, but it did not open. Apparently, he had locked it back before she could meet her peace.
"What happened to Syaoran?" he asked quietly.
Her eyes widened, surprised by that question before they turned on him. "What?"
"I told you that you can call me Syaoran when we're alone," he said.
Her grip tightened around her bag, wanting to grab him and shake some answers out of him. He was just cold and distant towards her, and now he wanted her to call him by his first name like they were friends. She could not understand the man one bit. Just when she would think she could put some pieces together, more pieces formed, but unable to fit with the others.
She sighed softly, not wanting to ask the million questions that she wanted to scream at him. "I can't tell if we're cold or hot right now; friends or enemies," she said softly.
"Friends?" he questioned, sounding surprised by her choice of words.
"Isn't that kind of what we've been for the past week since Disney?" she asked.
When his eyes landed on her, the temperature of her body rose at the intensity in them. She looked away, feeling like her face could explode. She had felt a lot of things with Yukito, but never this way...
She cleared her throat, keeping her eyes away from his. "Well?" she asked in a small voice when he did not respond.
It was only when a few seconds of silence passed between them that she realized what his unspoken answer was. She concluded they had not gotten anywhere after all.
She unlocked the door again, opening it quicker this time so he could not trap her in this hole with him anymore. "Thanks for the ride, Li-sensei" she said again, and then closed the door before he could even respond.
When he drove off, the feelings of tension in her heart washed away, but the anger resurfaced. Now, he was upset that she had not stayed awake.
She sighed, shaking her head as she walked further on campus. She wondered how he could be this "influential" man in society when he had the mood swings of a child who could not get what they want. It seemed like the man had never not gotten his way before.
"Good morning, Sakura," Sakura heard Tomoyo greet, before she stood beside her.
Sakura forced a smile she hoped her best friend could not detect. "Good morning," she said softly.
"You're here early again," Tomoyo said skeptically. "That's very unlike you."
"Uh…my uncle dropped me off early," she said, almost hesitantly. Sakura had almost slipped up and told her yesterday when Tomoyo saw her there first, which was almost never. "Let's just say that I'm probably going to be early for the remainder of the school year. My uncle has to drop his son off and then me, but he has to be at work early too, so he drops us off early," she said fluently.
So, lying was becoming a little easier these days for her, she noted. But, not to her best friend. She had never kept anything from Tomoyo before, so this was uncharted territory.
"I thought you rode the bus…but, I see. Well, at least you don't have to worry about being late for classes anymore," Tomoyo said, offering her a genuine smile.
Sakura giggled, nodding her head as they walked through the doors. "That's true," she said.
"Hey, you want to come over today? There's some new designs I've just finished, and I was wondering if you could model some of the outfits. I'm still trying to build up my portfolio for that school," she said. "It'll only be a little while. You said your little cousin stays a little later after school, right?"
Sakura smiled, nodding her head. "Of course. What time did you have in mind?" she asked.
"It could be right after school," Tomoyo said, shrugging her shoulders.
"That's fine by me. I'll inform my uncle of it."
The bell rang, signaling first period about to begin soon.
"We should get to class," Sakura said.
Tomoyo nodded, and they began to walk to class, talking about her new designs.
Sakura sat in the back of the classroom in her designated seat. She had everything in check. She had her phone turned off completely. She swore she was not going to get in trouble today. No, she would not let him get her into trouble. Two times was already enough, so he would not get a third shot.
She wondered if he had some sadistic tendencies of putting her in distress.
"Are you okay, Sakura? You're looking frustrated again," Sakura heard Tomoyo ask across from her. "What are you thinking about?"
Sakura forced, yet another, smile. "How much Chiharu was right about Li-sensei being an asshole," she said.
Tomoyo giggled, shaking her head. "Do you really think he purposely got you in trouble?" she asked with a raised brow.
Sakura had to bite her tongue to hold herself back from telling Tomoyo that it was him who sent the text to begin with.
"We can assume that he enjoys picking on you if he points something out today. Let me see your phone," Tomoyo said, holding her hand out to Sakura.
Sakura leaned down, grabbing her phone out of her bag. Sakura handed it to her. Tomoyo took it and then turned the volume all the way down before she looked at it with a concentrated face. "When did you get this anyway? You wouldn't even accept the phone I had tried given to you before I left so we could stay in touch easily."
Sakura could feel a stab of guilt at denying her friends help. She knew that Tomoyo had meant well when she always offered to give Sakura her allowance money or even just things in general, but it always made Sakura feel like she was not doing good enough. When Syaoran gave her things, it felt like she had earned them from a job because she had been working for him. It felt different.
"Sy—uh...my uncle gave it to me when I moved in with him. You know…it was part of my allowance for watching his kid," Sakura explained, hoping Tomoyo had not caught her slip-up.
"Hmm... we've known each other for more than a decade, and I've never heard about this rich uncle that you have," Tomoyo said skeptically. "Maybe mother knows about him. I'm surprised he didn't come around until after two years of you almost being put in the system. Sakura, you know that I trust you with everything, but I'm really concerned about you. You know you can tell me anything, right? Mother would have taken you in if you didn't find that job either—you know that, right? The only reason she didn't was because you begged me to convince her that you would be fine, and I truly, truly believe that, but…" Tomoyo trailed off.
At her best friend's rambling, Sakura could tell how worried her friend was for her safety. She really was hurting her best friend.
"I appreciate you and everything you've done and feel for me, 'Moyo. But, I promise that everything is alright. This uncle…uh, moved here like a few months ago for business, and when he found out about his brother—my dad, and Touya…" Sakura stopped, realizing she was not sure what to tell her best friend anymore.
"It's fine. We don't have to talk about it. Especially here, of all places," Tomoyo said quietly.
Sakura gave her a small smile for being understanding. She knew her best friend might have taken it as her feeling emotional about the topic of her family. "Anyway, he's really nice and I've enjoyed my stay with him. Besides, it's not like it'll be long before I graduate and live on my own," Sakura said, reassuring her friend that there was nothing to worry about.
"Alright. It would be nice and make me feel at ease if I could meet him," Tomoyo said.
Sakura's eyes widened, not sure how to tell her it would not be possible. "U-uhh...l—"
The door opened, revealing her 'uncle' with his brief case. The entire class fell into hushed mode immediately. When he placed his things on the desk, he turned to the class with that same uptight-expression. "Good afternoon, class," he said curtly.
Everyone was quick to respond, except Sakura. She refused to do or say anything to cause any further conflict between her and the man.
"Take out yesterday's homework," he said.
Homework?
Sakura turned to Tomoyo, seeing that her eyes were equally as wide. Tomoyo looked at her apologetically, mouthing a, "Sorry, I forgot."
Sakura gave her a small, understanding smile to let her know that she knew that she had not intentionally forgotten. Tomoyo had given her an extra copy of the notes that she took in class yesterday to keep Sakura updated on the first lecture.
Sakura looked to the front of the class, a little surprised to see his eyes trained on her. When their eyes locked for a moment, she looked away immediately, feeling her face heat. She suddenly forgot if she was upset with the man or wanted to jump his bones.
"Last class, we talked about the foundations of business and what to expect when it comes to the term of understanding the background. I handed everyone out their textbook, with the exception of Miss Kinomoto. So, could you see me at the end of class to give you yours?" he asked in a professional tone.
Sakura swallowed, nodding her head slowly, wishing the burning blush would disappear already. "Yes, sir," she said.
He turned his attention back to the entire classroom. "Could anyone tell me what quantitative methods are summed up as?" he asked. "From the assignment."
Mitsuki was the first to raise her hand, as Sakura expected. She had also been a kiss-up to their chemistry teacher who had been the worst to Sakura. Then again, Mitsuki was always like this with male teachers. She would give them her undivided attention and a little bit more, in hopes of getting a good grade in the end.
Sakura had to hand it to her, it was a great idea, but she was not that interested in being the top student of the year. Plus, it would be a little weird if she acted as if she were. She sucked at math too much to be at the top.
Syaoran looked past her hand and called on another person.
"Math and economics," a guy in the class answered confidently.
"Right, and..."
Sakura zoned the rest of his sentence out, but not enough to where she would be lost. Well, she was not completely aware of everything since the man had ruined her chances of being caught up yesterday. So, she sat through the rest of the class, listening, and taking as many notes as she could, while trying to ignore her bitter thoughts of him.
As soon as class ended, Sakura was at Tomoyo's desk, helping her pick her bags up.
Tomoyo giggled, raising a brow at her. "What are you doing?" she asked, picking her books up.
"I'm just helping my bestest friend with her things because she deserves to be treated as a princess…" Sakura said, buttering her best friend up a bit.
"Are you trying to make me go with you to get your book?" Tomoyo asked with a smile on her face.
Sakura gave her a defeated look. "Tomoyo, I can't do this alone again. He's so…mean," she said the last part lamely, unsure what to tell her.
Tomoyo giggled, standing from the desk. Sakura looked to the front of the classroom, seeing students talk to Syaoran. "Tomoyo, please. You saw how he treated me yesterday. I don't think I can take another blow, or I'll surely be sent to the hospital."
"Alright, alright. You know I wouldn't leave you to the wolves," she said, making Sakura sigh in relief.
Sakura grinned. " Come on," she said, looping her arm with Tomoyo's.
They walked to the front of the classroom where there were barely any students now. Once it was Sakura's turn to talk with him, she held her breath, feeling his gaze on her. She almost scrambled out the room, wanting to end the humiliation that she knew was surely to come. "U-uh...the book," she said awkwardly.
Syaoran glanced at Tomoyo briefly before his eyes shifted back to hers. "It's in my office," he said, looking down at the papers on his desk and stacking them.
Sakura took a deep breath, deciding to put her big girl panties on, as Tomoyo would put it. "Okay. Do I have to wait, or can we get it now?" she asked.
"Give me a moment," he said, eyes still focused on the task at hand of organizing the papers.
"Okay..." she said quietly before dragging Tomoyo out the classroom with her.
As soon as the door closed, Sakura turned to her. "Hoeee..."
Tomoyo laughed, giving her a sympathetic pat on the back. "He is intimidating, Sakura. But, I think you'll be alright. I mean, what's the worse he could do from a simple meet up to give you the book?"
Sakura thought of almost one hundred different things he could do. Tomoyo did not need to know that though. "You're right. Maybe I'm being a little over dramatic," she said with a small smile. She took a deep breath and then released it.
"There you go. Put your big girl panties on and stop being such a wuss," Tomoyo teased.
Sakura giggled, nodding her head. "You're right. I don't know why I'm so nervous," she said.
"You have a crush on him," Tomoyo suggested with a knowing look on her face. "Perhaps it was the ruler and punishment comments."
Sakura blushed, her eyes widening at that accusation. "I do not!" she denied, despite her heart reacting to the statement.
"Really?" Tomoyo asked with a raised brow.
"Yes. I don't even know him enough to have a crush on him. Besides, I like Yukito, who is not an 'asshole' as Chiharu described Li-sensei," Sakura said confidently.
As soon as the statement came out, the classroom door slid open.
Sakura turned to it, feeling unpleasant chills run down her body at the penetrating glare.
Tomoyo seemed to sense it because she let out a short laugh. "I'm going to be at the school gate. I enjoyed the lecture today, Li-sensei," she said kindly.
He nodded towards Tomoyo before she gave Sakura a secret smile and walked down the halls, away from the two.
Betrayer!
"Come on," Syaoran said shortly.
Sakura sighed quietly and followed a good distance behind him as she rationalized all the possibilities that could occur. Even her death from a heart attack or possibly by his hands.
"I was meaning to give it to you yesterday," he said conversationally.
"Was that what you wanted to talk about?" she asked softly.
"No. I wanted to discuss how much of an 'asshole' I am," he said coldly.
Her eyes widened, cheeks flaming hot at that statement. She had not meant for him to hear that comment. He opened the office door, motioning her to walk inside first. He walked inside, not bothering to close the door, to her relief. Or, disappointment? She was not too sure right now.
"I'm sorry you had to hear that conversation. I was just upset with you," she said, hands fidgeting with each other.
Stop it, stupid hands.
"You embarrassed me in front of everyone, and then you kissed me like you feel any type of emotions towards me, then followed up with disregarding my feelings as a whole. I know that I'm not the right person to tell you how you are as a person, but I do have a right to feel how I do. And—"
"You're rambling again," he interrupted.
She took a deep, shaky breath, hating herself for reacting this way to the cruel man. "I..." she paused.
He looked down and grabbed the book on his desk. He handed it to her, along with some papers. "That's the book and homework I assigned yesterday."
She looked at his face, seeing nothing that gave away how he felt about…anything. She accepted the book from him and held it to her chest, feeling slightly embarrassed that he ignored her once again. "Thank you," she said quietly. "I'm going to Tomoyo's today for a bit after school." He looked at her. "So...Kenta doesn't have to pick me up."
"You're still insisting on taking the bus?" he asked in an annoyed tone.
She tightened her grip around the book. "Would you rather I have one of her drivers take me then?" she asked, almost in a menacing tone.
She hated not knowing what the man felt or thought about anything because now, he was acting all overprotective of her again. She hated this so much.
"No," he said quickly. "How are you planning to commute there?"
"Riding with Tomoyo. I'll be home in enough time for Xing," she said.
He sighed, nodding his head. "Alright."
She started moving towards the door now. "I guess... I'll see you later, sir," she said uncertainly.
When he did not say anything, just looking down at his desk blankly, she took that as her cue to leave.
"Sakura."
She stopped at the door, hearing the familiar softness in his tone. Refusing to turn around and look at him, she just stood at the door, waiting for whatever he had to say.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, but she heard him loud and clear.
Even though he did not directly state what he was sorry for, she already knew what he was apologizing for. "Okay," she said, instead of telling him that she forgave him. He did not need to know that.
And she walked out of his office.
"Try these on too, Sakura!" Tomoyo said, throwing outfit after outfit at her.
"Tomoyo, Tomoyo, Tomoyo," Sakura exaggerated her name, wishing she could stay up with the girl. It felt impossible for her to. "One at a time."
"I need you to model them all though! There's so many more after these," Tomoyo said, glancing over Sakura's body. "You'll look perfect in all of them."
At the look in Tomoyo's eyes, Sakura was reminded of their time growing up. Tomoyo would video record or snap a picture of everything Sakura did. She had been obsessed with capturing every moment with Sakura, but the older they got, the more Tomoyo had calmed down. However, every now and then, she would still make Sakura dress in her outfits she made so she could model them for her. Okay, at least three times out of the month. Maybe she had only calmed down a little.
Sakura did not mind being a dummy for her best friend though.
"Why do you have to look so perfect in everything?" Tomoyo said with so much anguish in her voice.
Sakura giggled, unzipping the dress, letting it fall to her ankles. "I do not…" she said sheepishly, trying the fifth outfit on that Tomoyo had sewn over the summer break.
"You are. I don't think I'll ever want anyone else modeling for me because you've set my expectations so high," Tomoyo said, sighing dazedly. "You'll be my model in the future, right? Have you thought about going into modeling like your mom did?"
Sakura smiled, remembering all the pictures her father had of her mother. Her and Touya had left a lot of them back in Tomoeda at the old house. They had decided that when they want to go down memory lane, they would just pay a visit to their old house. After all, the house belonged to Touya since their Father passed. Or, her now. She still had not brought herself to go back there yet.
"I have. It's definitely something I've thought about in the past," Sakura said.
"Well, if you do choose to go down that route, you won't be allowed to model for anyone else but me, got that missy?" Tomoyo said in a fake, stern tone.
Sakura giggled and nodded. "I promise I'll model all your designs, Tomoyo, even though you left me for the wolves today."
Tomoyo laughed nervously. "I did not. I was just helping your character develop. Now! Put these heels on with that dress."
"Is Daddy coming home today?" Xing whined, pulling on Sakura's arm as she set the table with Hana.
"Xing, don't you want to help set the table with us?" she asked, hoping to distract him from whatever he was thinking about.
She had gotten home thirty-minutes ago from Tomoyo's house, and he had been asking the same question non-stop.
What's gotten into him?
"But, but, but," he let out a loud groan, falling to the floor.
Sakura turned to him, stooping down to his height. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked in a concerned tone.
"I want to see daddy!" he said, folding his arms over his chest stubbornly.
She brushed down his disheveled hair, trying to soothe him a bit. "I know, I know. You saw daddy this morning, remember? And just think, you'll get to see him again—"
He huffed, pushing her hand away, to her surprise. "It was only for a little time, and we didn't get to play, or do anything together!" he whined.
She frowned, seeing the tears brim in his eyes. He had been whinier than usual today about this. It had only been three days since they started school and that Syaoran was not around much. "In a few days, you'll be able to," she said softly.
He sniffed, looking at her hopefully. "Really?" he asked.
"Didn't you say every Saturday is swimming day?" she asked.
A small smile formed on his face as he stared at nothing, looking as if he remembered the times. He nodded. "Yes."
"It'll be Saturday in three days, so you'll have to wait a little while longer," she said softly.
"How many hours is that?" he asked.
Oh gosh, my least favorite subject.
Twenty-four times three is...
"Seventy-two hours."
He groaned. "But that sounds so long," he whined. "What about minutes?"
Sakura laughed. "Let's just stick to three days, okay?"
He giggled, nodding his head. "Yes, ma'am," he said in a playful tone.
"How about you help Ms. Hana and I set up the table now?" she asked again.
He nodded enthusiastically, and Sakura stood up, only to see Hana staring at her knowingly. "Are you sure you've never had kids before?" she asked.
Sakura's cheeks warmed, and she shook her head.
"Are you positive? You do so well with kids that I'd trust you with my own and that's very rare."
Sakura smiled at the compliment. "That makes me feel very happy then," she said.
Hana chuckled. "I'm not just saying it, dear. I mean it. You treat Xing as your own, and that's not something you see daily from a person," she said.
"It's because Sakura is a very nice lady. Even Daddy thinks so," Xing chimed in.
Sakura blushed even more at that statement. "Y-you guys don't have to do this," she said shyly.
"It's true! Every day, before he drops me off, he always reminds me to be on my best behavior for the teachers, and for you because you..." He scratched the back of his head. "I forget all the time, but Daddy thinks that you're really nice too."
"Okay, that's enough, Xing. You're going to have Sakura explode," Hana teased.
Sakura sat the plates on the table now. "W-we should finish setting the table, so we can eat," she said.
"I was only trying to say what daddy always says," he said, shrugging his shoulders.
It felt nice to know that Syaoran did not actually hate her. She just wondered why he put up this façade as if he did. She pushed the thought to the back of her head as they finished setting up the table.
After they finished eating dinner, Hana left to get home to her family. Sakura thought it was always nice to spend a little time with her when Syaoran was not around. Oddly enough, she always left after she finished cooking when Syaoran was there, but she normally stayed to eat when he was not.
"Well, what do you want to do now? We have an hour and a half to kill before it's time for bed," Sakura asked him after they finished cleaning the kitchen.
"Hmm...maybe we can wait for daddy tonight?" he asked.
This again...
"We can wait until your bedtime, okay? But, what do you want to do now?" she asked.
"Wait for daddy," he said again.
Sakura frowned, wondering what it was that he really needed from Syaoran. "How about I see if he can talk on the phone with you right now?" she suggested.
His face brightened up. "Really?"
"I didn't say he could, but I can try, okay?"
He nodded his head enthusiastically. "Okay!"
She sent Syaoran a quick text, asking if he could talk on the phone right now with Xing. "And now, we wait, but for the meantime, how about we play hide-and-seek?" she asked, hoping he would agree to his favorite game.
"We have to wait for daddy, though," he said with a smile on his face.
"Xing," Sakura called.
"What?" he answered quietly.
"Is there something wrong?" she asked.
"No..." he said in a small voice.
"Come here," she said.
He shook his head, moving back a little. "If you hug me, I'll start crying," he said.
She stooped to his height, so they could see eye to eye. "Why would you do that, honey?" she asked softly.
"Because..." He shook his head vigorously when tears formed in his eyes. "I know that I said that hugs can make you stop crying, but…I think they'll make me feel sad this time..." he said.
"Why?"
"I don't know," he said, voice cracking a little.
Sakura wondered if she had missed something because this was all coming out of nowhere. "Okay, honey. I won't hug you," she promised with a forced smile on her face.
"Promise?" he asked.
She nodded. "Pinky promise," she said, holding up her pinky.
He stared at her for a while before he slowly walked towards her and linked his pinky with hers. They sang the Japanese promise song.
She smiled at him sadly, releasing his pinky. "Now, tell me what's wrong."
He swallowed nervously. "Well..." Immediately, his cheeks turned a rosy pink as he looked away. "It's..."
When he hesitated to tell her, she realized how hard it was for him to get it out. She caressed his cheek lovingly before pulling on it gently. "How about this, you tell me when you're ready to, okay?"
A small smile formed on his lips and he looked at her. "Really? Is that really okay? Daddy always makes me tell him…"
"Of course it's okay," she said.
A huge grin spread across his face before he nodded. "Fish kiss!" And he landed a big, wet one on her lips with puckered lips. He giggled, pulling back from the kiss.
"Yucky," she said in a playful tone. "How about I give you a million fish kisses all over your face?" she said mockingly.
He gasped dramatically before stepping back from her. "Like all of my aunties do? It's so so yucky and they always leave my face covered with lips!" he said.
Sakura gave him a sly look before shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know...I guess...I might!" And she grabbed him, landing kisses all over his face, similar to the ones he always gave her.
He screeched, struggling to get away as he laughed while she gave him merciless kisses. "Okay, okay! No more!" he yelled between giggles.
When he could barely breathe, Sakura stopped, letting him catch his breath. "That was fun!" he exclaimed after catching his breath.
Sakura giggled, poking his side. "You know what I think would be even more fun?" she asked.
"Super mommy!" he said excitedly.
"Huh?" she said, completely surprised by that answer.
"Well, daddy calls it 'super daddy,' but you can't be daddy because you're a girl. Right? Or...you can? Can you be daddy?"
She laughed nervously, shaking her head, at a loss for words. "I-I can't, but—"
"So then, you can be super mommy!"
She swallowed, nodding her head. "How does the game go?" she asked nervously. She was not sure if this would be okay.
"Well, I'm the baby in danger, and you're the one who saves me from all the bad guys and monsters," he explained in a tone as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Daddy always plays it with me when he has the time and..." He stopped as if he were thinking about it.
Sakura lightly popped his forehead, snapping him out of the thoughts. "Super mommy it is then," she said softly.
His eyes widened, staring at her hopefully. "Really?"
"Of course," she said with a smile.
"You're the best!" He gave her another fish kiss. She giggled, having to hold herself back from embracing him.
He took off running, yelling her name. "There's a big, poopy green monster running after me. Saave me!" he exclaimed, running around the living room.
Sakura laughed, deciding to play along by trying to catch up so she could 'save' him. Sakura did not know how long they played, but it was the most fun she had ever had since childhood with Touya and her father.
It was only when he laid back on the floor in her room that she noticed how tired he was. "That was so much fun," he said, out of breath.
Sakura giggled, trying to catch her breath. "I know. I can't go anymore."
"It's been a very, very long time since I played that," he said, stretching out his arms to emphasize his point.
She smiled, thinking of his 'very, very long time' as maybe a month or two ago. He always exaggerated things.
"Maybe we could play more often then, so you won't have to say it's been a long time—"
"Very, very long time," he corrected.
She giggled, nodding her head. "A very, very long time then."
He yawned, turning over on the soft carpet to look at her with sleepy-eyes. "I'm tired," he said softly.
Before she could respond, he already had his eyes closed.
"Xing," she called softly.
No response.
She made a move to shake him gently but saw how peaceful and relaxed he looked. He looked like a replica of his father, but much nicer.
She smiled, leaning her head against the carpet to look him directly in his face. There was definitely something wrong with him, but seeing his peaceful face erased her worries of anything that could be bothering him. The longer she stared at his face, the more she realized how much her heart warmed and wrenched at this unfamiliar feeling that she felt for him.
"I love you."
She wondered if this is the feeling that he felt when he told her that. She knew Xing would never be her child, but it sure was starting to feel like it. She found it odd that that thought did not scare her. It felt…warming, a little.
"I lo—"
Her phone began to ring before she could finish, scaring her near to death. Immediately, she took it out of her pocket, silencing it before she saw the caller. Her heart began to race, seeing the phone continue to ring.
The phone buzzed one more time before she swiped it across. "Hello?" she answered.
"Is everything alright?" came a worried Syaoran on the other end. She had never heard the man so alarmed and concerned before.
"Yes, sir," she said.
"What happened?"
"Oh, nothing. I just think...that Xing wanted to talk with you," she said uncertainly, not sure how to react to his behavior.
"You think?" he asked.
"He did, but he's sleeping now. He just fell asleep."
He let out a hushed sigh. "Damn it. Okay. I'm in a meeting right now and I stepped out to go to the restroom, so I have to go."
"Oh, okay," she said, feeling a little disappointed that he had to go so soon.
"Yeah. I'll talk with you later—"
"I…think there's something wrong with Xing, so we might need to talk when you get off tonight," she said, pushing the thoughts of being upset with him to the side. This was about Xing, and Syaoran was probably the only person who could solve the problem.
He was quiet on the phone for a minute, making her wonder if he had hung up.
"It's up to you," he finally said.
"Okay. I'll see you later then," she said.
And then he hung up.
She released the sigh she had been holding before she sat up to pick Xing up gently. He clung to her body as soon as she stood up, nearly falling back over with his weight. She decided to place him in her bed.
Sleeping in his bed was a pain because the bed was not big enough for the two of them. Most times, he basically slept on top of her, so she figured her bed would be best.
She went to his room to grab pajama bottoms before coming back to her room and putting them on his sleeping form. Glancing at the clock, she realized she did not ask Syaoran how long he would be.
She laid down beside Xing, which he immediately cuddled up to her body. She caressed his hair gently, smoothing down his disheveled hair, though it did not cooperate. She realized she could not even imagine ever leaving him after graduation anymore.
She wondered if Syaoran would continue to let her see him after she left. Or would that be the end of Xing for her?
Suddenly, she did not want to think about it. She thought about all the possibilities of her leaving before she even realized the time passing. It was only when she heard the front door open that she looked at the time, seeing that it was 11:07.
She removed herself from Xing's body with difficulty, as usual. She left the room, leaving the door cracked open before she walked to the kitchen. It was surprising to see that Syaoran was not in the kitchen as he normally would be.
"You didn't give me enough time," she heard the familiar voice behind her.
She froze, surprised to hear his voice. She turned around towards the direction of his voice.
"Don't look so panicked," he said, walking further in the kitchen.
She swallowed, nodding her head. "I-I'm not. It's just..." She took a deep breath and then released it. "I'm nervous."
"Why?"
She leaned against one of the chairs at the table, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know."
When he walked closer to her, she could feel her insides turning to mush at the reminder of how good his body felt against hers yesterday in his office. She promised herself not to do anything like that again though.
Instead of making any type of contact with her, he leaned against the counter away from her, but keeping his eyes locked with hers. "What's the problem with Xing?" he asked, looking at her seriously.
At the mention of Xing, her body untensed, feeling a little more comfortable. "I don't know what exactly, but he's acting more..." She stopped, trying to think of a word that would not offend him. "Needy, I guess. Like today, he asked about you almost non-stop until I got him distracted enough. But then, his mind would revert back to needing to see you. I'm not sure if I'm looking too deep into it, but he doesn't normally ask about you this much throughout the day.
He looked deep in thought for a moment before his attention was back on her. "What's the date?" he asked.
"Uh...it's just September 8th," she said.
"Okay, it's not that..." he said under his breath.
Without thinking, she asked, "Not what?"
He shook his head. "Nothing that you need to concern yourself with," he dismissed.
She frowned, wondering what it was. "I can't help but be concerned."
"Well, don't—"
"Don't tell me not to worry about him. He wouldn't even let me hug him today because it would 'make him cry' so you can't tell me not to be," she said, feeling her heart wrench at the memory. Immediately, she looked at him apologetically. "I didn't mean that in a disrespectful way—"
"I know," he interrupted, surprising her with his response.
"It really...hurt to see him like that," she said quietly. "Do you think it's anything at school?"
He shook his head. "It's not. Kenta didn't inform me of anything, and I didn't get a call from his teacher."
"Well, there's something wrong. I don't know what, but I know there's something," she said, sure about this more than she had ever been sure about anything else in her life.
He stared at her for a while as if he were studying his favorite subject. When he would not let up, she could feel her cheeks warm. "What is it?" she asked.
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why do you care about him so much? You haven't even known him long," he said.
"I...I can't help it. It feels like I've known him for a long time. I don't know why, but somehow, I feel connected to him, as crazy as it sounds. He cared enough to accept me with opened arms when he didn't know me. He's a kid, I know, but even I know him enough to know that he isn't fond of strangers on the street. But he didn't treat me like a stranger. And..." She stopped, wondering if she was rambling again, but he did not say anything.
She sighed, changing her mind about continuing. It would probably be best not to mention it anyway.
"What else?" he asked. "Tell me what you were going to say."
She was quiet for a moment before she shook her head. "It's nothing. I just care about him a lot."
"Sakura," he called softly. He was warm again.
Her fingers griped the chair tightly before she took a deep breath. "I lost my mother at a young age, so I was confused and lost..." She peeked at him under her lashes to see his reaction.
He was still staring with this expression she could not describe. It was not anger or annoyance, so she continued, "I had my father and brother, who I'm very grateful for, but, I still often wonder what it's like to have a mom since I was so young and can't remember anything about her besides the pictures that I've seen. I'm not trying to pry or anything, but I feel like Xing…is lost and confused too. The only difference between us now is that his memories of her are still vivid and clear, while mine aren't."
A full minute passed between them before she decided to break the silence. "I—"
"So, he'll forget everything about her if she's never around anymore?" he asked quietly.
"I can't remember anything before the age of five."
He sighed, running a hand through his hair frustrated as if he were stressed about the answer given. "You're right," he whispered. "It's probably for the best he doesn't remember anything about her, honestly."
"What happened?" she asked, hoping he would finally tell her about this.
"You should head to bed," he said, lifting himself from the counter. He was shutting her out again.
"But—"
"It's late and you need your rest," he said.
Without thinking, she grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving. "No, wait," she said in a demanding tone that may not have sounded convincing as his would.
He stood frozen as if he were afraid of what she might do next. She did not know how to process the man seeming terrified of her when she had not done anything to make him feel that way.
"I...I'm tired of this game of hot and cold with you...I want to understand you," she said softly. "I don't know if you're aware of it, but I'm not the best at this game of charades."
When he did not say anything, her grip unconsciously tightened on his arm, fearing that she chose the wrong time to put her big girl panties on.
He just stood, unmoving of her grasp on him. Maybe this was stu—
"Okay."
Taken aback, she looked at him incredulously. "W-what?"
"What do you want to know about me?" he asked, turning around towards her.
Her breath caught in her throat, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights with his intense gaze. "Anything other than hot or cold. I want to know you."
"My Chinese name is Xiao Lang. I have a very influential parent who lives in Hong Kong with four elder sisters. I have a son—"
She giggled, shaking her head. "No, I want to know you. Not a biography of you. Like... the real you that I met last weekend."
When he did not say anything for a while, she continued, "Like, what do you like?"
"What?" he asked, sounding surprised by that question. It almost seemed as if no one had ever asked him such a thing before.
"What do you like, besides work?"
"More work," he said shortly.
"In your spare time, away from work."
He looked deep in thought for a moment again. "The piano."
Her eyes widened. "You play the piano?" she asked incredulously.
"I used to."
"How did you learn?" she asked.
"I learned at an early age. It's more of a traditional thing in my family."
"So... that means Xing knows how to play?" she asked.
"Yes. But it's been a minute since he played."
"That's amazing..." she said, already admiring him even though she had not heard him yet.
"He had a tutor back in Hong Kong, the same man who taught me."
"You have a piano?" she asked.
"Yes."
She smiled. "I would love to hear you play one day. I'm sure you're amazing."
For a moment, his cheeks turned a slight red, but it disappeared so fast that she thought she might have imagined it.
"Maybe," he said blandly. "Do you play anything?"
She shook her head. "No, but that's because my talents are elsewhere."
"Like?"
"I take after my dad, so I'm very athletic and can cook," she said proudly.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I could cook for you one day if you'd like," she offered with a smile.
"Do as you may," he said, looking away shyly.
She grinned, seeming to have missed the bashful response. "It's a deal then."
"What?" he asked, sounding confused.
She giggled. "For someone as smart and perceptive as you are, you sure can be a little slow to understand Japanese," she teased. When his face showed displeasure with her joke, she said, "I'll cook for you one day, and you'll play the piano for me one day."
He was quiet for a moment, making her think he might say no, so she was surprised when he responded with a silent okay.
From there on out, she asked him anything that she could come up with that was appropriate. To her surprise, he gave more than a one word response and even reversed any questions he wanted to know about her.
It was only when she stifled a yawn that she looked at the clock on the wall to see the time. She was surprised to see that it was past three in the morning. "I didn't even notice the time," she said.
He looked at the clock. "It's late. You should go get some rest."
She gave him a pointed, playful look. "You too, mister. You have to be up as well."
"About earlier..."
"Hmm?" She looked at him, confused about what he was trying to say now.
"About us being friends," he said.
"Oh," she said, sounding a little disappointed at the reminder of that. "It's not a big deal."
"Okay. I didn't know if I offended you," he said quietly.
She laughed nervously, waving it off. "No, no, no. I just...thought that since we called each other by our first names and..." Her cheeks warmed, thinking about the few times they had been intimate. "Yeah, but it's nothing."
"If it makes you feel better, you're the closest thing to a friend than I've ever had before," he said.
"What about—" She stopped herself before she could even ask.
"My wife. Well, ex-wife," he said.
She studied his face, trying to see if there was any kind of emotions that would give away if he felt...something for his ex-wife. There was nothing there, though.
"Yeah..." she said quietly.
He shrugged. "I respect her because she is the mother of my child, but there was never—" He stopped.
"Never what?" she asked, almost impatiently. She wished there were something she could do to get information about Xing's mother.
He sighed, pushing his chair back from the table. "It's nothing important. You should head to bed," he said, standing from the chair.
She frowned, standing with him. "Okay," she said, not wanting to push him too much. She had already overstepped enough, so she did not want him to shut down.
"Wipe that look off your face. I've told you enough about myself," he said in a disapproving tone.
"But—"
"That's enough."
She sighed, deciding to back down. She did not want him to shut down on her again. "Okay. I enjoyed talking with you," she said.
He moved closer to her, invading her senses with him again, yet he did not touch her. "This weekend..." He trailed off, making Sakura hold her breath. "I'm going to try and spend a little time with Xing."
She smiled, looking up at him. "That's great," she said excitedly.
"I want you to come with us," he said.
Her eyes widened, surprised by that statement. "U-uh...are you sure?" she asked uncertainly. She had thought that he wanted to keep this whole arrangement a secret, yet he had been doing things that could easily expose them lately. She was not sure what he wanted anymore.
"It'll be somewhere private where it's just the three of us, so I'm sure," he said.
She nodded. "Alright."
He nodded before moving away from her hesitantly. "Good night, Sakura."
"Oh, one more thing," she said before he could get too far. "Masamoto wants to meet at his restaurant tomorrow at four, so...I'm not sure how you want to go about that..."
He turned towards her with a serious look on his face. "I have a meeting at four," he said.
"Oh...well...I guess it will just be me and Masamoto meeting. What do you want me to tell him?" she asked.
"Reschedule. You're not meeting with him alone."
Sakura frowned at the finality of his tone. "I am. He's already cleared his schedule, so that would be inconsiderate to cancel last minute. I'm willing to stretch the truth a little about our arrangement though," she said confidently. She had promised herself she would not back down to him again, so she could start here.
"Excuse me?" he said.
Hearing the defense in his tone, she swallowed nervously. "I...am meeting with him tomorrow, with or without you. I'm sorry you don't like those arrangements, but we can't work around your schedule. Masamoto has a very busy schedul-"
"And I don't?" he raised his voice a bit.
"I didn't say that...I just know how his schedule works since he was my boss-"
"And I'm your boss now, so it doesn't matter how much you know his schedule. You should be working with mine now," he said sternly.
She frowned at that, not understanding where all of this was coming from suddenly. "So, you plan to meet him as my boss tomorrow? We're going to tell him that you're my boss who opened his home for me to live in and watch his kid? Oh, also providing me with a phone, transportation...food. What's the plan, Syaoran? Because I'm lost," she said, raising a brow at him.
"I haven't had the time to sit down and think everything through yet, which is even more of a reason to reschedule this hassle," he said, brows furrowed.
"I've had time to think things through, so I see no need for rescheduling," she said.
"And what's that?"
"That's going to be between Masamoto and I tomorrow during our meeting, so you need not to worry."
Syaoran frowned at that. "You're not meeting with him alone," he said sternly again.
"Then, you're postponing your meeting tomorrow?" she asked, looking at him seriously. She wanted him to take her serious; to know she would not back down with this. Plus, she had to tell Masamoto something.
"I will figure something out. Goodnight, Sakura."
And then he left the kitchen before she could even respond.
A/N: Okay, better update. I am well-rested now. I just checked off something on my homework to-do list and I responded to all of last chapters reviews! Thank you guys so much again! What'd you guys think of this chapter? I think some progress was made here between them...kind of, haha.
The next chapter Masamoto and a possible love interest enters the picture? Sakura is getting more attached to Xing, realizing she loves the little boy? Things are really about to get sticky and more drama. I'm super excited to get the next chapter out because I have a lot in store for it. But, before we get there, don't forget to pump my creative juices with some reviews :P.
Ja ne!
