RORY HITS THE JACKPOT

On a clear day, one can see the Niagara Falls from miles away, throwing its mist far into the air. During the tourist season, at the larger Horseshoe (Canadian) Falls, every second 125,000 imperial gallons of water plunge off a 188 foot cliff. From there, this massive volume of water churns in the 185 foot deep plunge pool and then speeds along the seven mile Niagara Gorge to Queenston. During off-hours, the volume of water is reduced, as most of the water is diverted from the falls and the river gorge to hydroelectric plants on opposite sides of the border.

Rory thought it was cool that the waterfalls could be adjusted, just as if there were a giant faucet at the International Control dam upstream. As for the falls, Rory thought it would be better if the venerable Maid of the Mist tour-boat was augmented by a submarine going to the bottom of the plunge pool. Rory figured there must be lots of skeletons and rocks and whirlpools deep down; or for all he knew, the ghost of Lelawala, the titular maid of the mist, heroine of the tourist's legend about an Indian maid thrown into the falls as a sacrifice to the thunder god.


Rory didn't even look at the falls, barrelling into the city by way of the Queen Elizabeth Way and Highway 420 and parking at the casino where Single Tear would be playing. It sucked a little to be going alone, and Rory as he went inside wondered why Single Tear would be playing there. Rory had been a fan since he was thirteen years old, but the casino was nineteen up.

The truth was Single Tear wasn't as popular with younger teens as it had been during its heyday. The group – best known for writing songs about how tough it was to be rich and popular (i.e. It's So Tough When Everyone Wants To Be You; Signing Autographs Gives Me Writer's Cramp; and their last hit, I'm So Awesome it Hurts). The group had went back into circulation . . . mostly because their residuals were shrinking. Single Tear realized, to their chagrin, that they were now in part a nostalgia trip for fans like Rory. At least until they could impress teens with another hit.

But Single Tear was still popular enough to sell out, and Rory went into the crowd of fans who felt that the group really understood them.


Rory was early, and the casino was playing pre-recorded albums. Rory felt this was bogus, because it would distract from the fun once the "party really started" as he told the guard who checked his ID.

"Came in all the way from Mississauga"

The guard, who was about Rory's age, shrugged.

"What are you going to do for the next hour? You really should have picked up a dame?"

"A dame?"

"Sorry. We had this forties night big-band thing Wednesday and Thursday. That an iron ring?"

"Yeah" said Rory.

The security guard held up his hand.

"Times are tough" said the guard with a shrug. "Four years, a degree, and a minimum wage job to show it."

"That's tough" said Rory sincerely. "I lucked into one right off, well after getting the duel architectural engineer last year."

"I'm structural" said the guard. "Who was hiring?"

"McMurdo Abbott" said Rory.

"Lucky bastard" said the guard, in a friendly tone.

"Uh, yeah. Dude, I hope you get a real job. Believe me, I know how luck turns around."

"I think I might, with the economy rebounding. Well, look buddy, I got a loyal girl" the guard pointed out. He showed Rory a photo.

"Whoa!" said Rory. "She sent you that on your phone!"

"Why wouldn't she?" bragged the engineer-turned-security guard. "But you could have at least gotten your pals over."

"Well, I tried" Rory admitted. "But I'm the only real Single Tear fan around.

The guard Rory was talking to would have rather had his eardrums pierced than listen to Single Tear all night.

"Try the nickel slots in the meantime, Rory" the guard advised. "You'll spend less than you did on gas driving here. Usually the machine's hoarded by seniors, but you get the shy girls going about them on nights like these. Then take her to the bar, treat her nice, treat her very well, and kill time before the show starts."

"I've got this friend who works for a law firm, his name is Malcolm Brunner" Rory said, as he dug into his wallet.

"Any relation to . . . ."

"Yeah" said Rory, interrupting with a frown. "But I'm about the closest friend Malcolm has outside his family. So I think you'll get the job at Brunner Motors."

The guard broke into a grin, and he pumped Rory's hand. Rory would soon have cause to remember that guard, though not with any great respect . . . .


Rory was immediately attracted by several Star Wars branded slot machines. Whether they paid or not, he didn't care. They were Star Wars! But as he put his nickel token in the machine, and pulled the arm of the one-armed bandit, he saw something that made him even forget Star Wars.

Rory couldn't stop his eyes from staring.

Next to him was an empty machine. But far more importantly, next to that was a petite blue-eyed blonde. She was a few inches over five feet tall to Rory's trained eye (though you needn't be an engineer or architect to know that). The "May 2-4 Weekend", that is to say Victoria Day, was often considered the start of summer. So that may be why the girl wore a short skirt ready for the summer. Like Rory, the girl was wearing a Single Tear cap.

This did make Rory see immediately that she was the hottest girl he had ever seen in his life. To him, anyways. Under the lurid slot machine lights Rory felt as if he could see every curve of her body

She was just the right size for Rory to wrap his arms around. And like in Hollywood, kiss her to the tune of a music score. Rory longed to do it, though if he tried right now he knew he'd be at best slapped . . . or worse, reported to the police and locked in jail.

And, to top it all off, Rory felt as if he has seen her a long time ago. As if she had walked out of his mind and memory, ready to meet him again at this very instant.

But, in what was the strangest thing, Rory found himself tongue-tied in a very Ethan-like way. He felt like saying "Whoa! You're the hottest girl I've ever seen!" But he couldn't. The words stuck in his throat.

It was perhaps one of the luckiest things to happen Rory. Even luckier than Rory winning the slot machine jackpot one second later.

Rory scored five roaring Chewbaccas in a row. The slot machine played the sound, and hurled $50.00 worth of nickel tokens out the bottom.

"That's amazing!" said the girl. "Let me help you!"

Rory and the unnamed girl picked up the tokens, in a cup provided for the purpose. The girl picked up the tokens, with Rory. Rory was mostly in awe of the girl.

"No offense to Chewie, but when he roars, he reminds me of my baby brother when he's angry" the girl joked. "But of course, my brother isn't a Wookie."

"You know what a Wookie is? You know Chewbacca's nickname?" said Rory, amazed.

"Of course I do" said the girl. "I've watched every Star Wars movie there is. Star Trek too."

The girl no longer picked up the tokens so quickly. She looked at Rory. She started to stare, but quickly blinked and stopped herself.

"Have you seen Battlestar Galactica?"

"That too. Both series. You know, I even say . . . ."

"You say frack like in the show" Rory guessed. "It's more cool."

"Anyone can swear for real. My brother turns the air blue. I don't."

"You're here in Niagara Falls for Single Tear, right?"

"Of course I am."

"Can you be any more awesome?"

She laughed. "You know, you look a little like Luke Skywalker in The Return of the Jedi. Young, idealistic, but battle-scarred. Having seen it all.

"That's me!" said Rory. "You should see me with my light sabre. Retractable!"

"Could you be more awesome!"

"Do you have a light sabre too!"

"No" she admitted. "I've considered, but the ones they sell look like cheap toys."

"You have to build your own" said Rory, who was happy at meeting the most awesome woman in the world. "Or go to a galaxy far, far away. But I haven't asked . . what's your favourite Star Wars or Star Trek?

"Of course, Star Trek is different. It's our future.

"It's Space, the Final Frontier. Of all sci-fi series, it's my favourite one. I even have a model of the spaceship in my room."

The two picked up the tokens. The fifty dollars seemed to be almost a nuisance, getting in the way of their knowing each other.

"I'm Rory" said Rory at once, realizing he didn't introduce himself. "Rory Keener."

"Natalie Crete" replied the girl. "Natalie Vera Crete."

"My middle name's Ransom."

"That's the coolest middle name ever, Rory"

"My friends sometimes like to call me the Rorster." lied the Rorster. Or maybe Rory didn't lie, he half-believed people did like to call him that. "That's cooler than Ransom."


Rory, following the security guard's advice, took the girl to the bar for a few drinks while they waited for the show to start. The bar, instead of looking backwoods Canadian (like some of the other attractions and souvenir shops in Niagara Falls) was a south-seas style "tiki" bar. Rory was going to order the beer on tap, but Natalie encouraged him to order a cocktail.

Rory, wanting to look cool . . . and afraid of picking the wrong one and looking girly, first thought of ordering a James Bond-style vodka martini. He quickly settled on a Zombie, a heavy alcoholic drink. The Zombie was made of three different kinds of rum, lime juice, falernum, Angostura bitters, Pernod, grenadine, cinnamon syrup and grapefruit juice. Rory liked it.

As for Natalie, she, of course, had no qualms about looking girly. So she had a Strawberry Daiquiri.

"That's amazing Rory" said Natalie. "You can sure drink. A lot better than my baby brother. He gets sloppy drunk fast."

"It tastes awesome, for a cocktail" said Rory truthfully.

Rory didn't have the frame or experience to drink too heavily. He was already half-zombified by just meeting Natalie. Lucky for making an impression, he didn't get really drunk (or, at least, he didn't look it) but was in a state of euphoria for the rest of the evening.

But again, it must be emphasized he wasn't too drunk to take a selfie of him and his girl.


By the time the concert began, Rory was all eyes and ears to both the music and to Natalie. Well, using the term music to describe Single Tear is using the term very loosely. But the discordant tones of I'm so Awesome it Hurts again made Rory feel the group knew him, his feelings.

And the new single that evening, Blackout, was a hit with the loyal fans. Rory and Natalie both predicted it would top the charts (it did eventually become a minor hit at #24).

Rory had his arm around Natalie very soon into the concert. That is when they weren't both cheering. There was something about that night that opened to Rory the mystery of knowing exactly when to kiss the girl.


After the concert, they repaired to the bar for more talk, a snack and another zombie for Rory.

If they hadn't had a full meal earlier, they would have gone to the Italian restaurant. It seemed as if Natalie even loved some of the same type of food.

Rory couldn't believe it . . . he could go your entire life without finding a girl who loved garlic-heavy food! Well, if you stayed in Canada and didn't go to, say, Southern or Eastern Europe.

Rory enthused about everything about almost life. His hopes, his dreams, his job, his family, even his pals. And, of course, Krypto.

It occurred to Rory that the last zombie was too much for him. And he just as quickly forgot it. In fairness, he barely looked drunk. So much so, the waitress asked if he'd have another drink.

But then again, places like that were used to yuppies who got drunk out of their skull on the weekend.

And, as Rory would see the following morning, he only looked a bit red eyed in the selfies he took. And Natalie? Awesome.

Rory listened eagerly when Natalie spoke of her own life and family. She lived in the country near Barrie, still with her parents. Her father was retired from the Passport Office with a full government pension. Natalie herself worked as a teller at the bank branch nearest her father's home. She too had been a mathlete along with her baby brother. Rory realized she liked her baby brother, though Rory was a bit dazed to concentrate on Natalie's doting . . . .

At the moment, Rory was mainly thinking about how Natalie living over an hour away from him could be a problem.


"I don't know if you can drive back to Mississauga" was the next thing Rory remembered Natalie saying. "Maybe my brother will let you sleep on his sofa."

Rory looked around, checking if he was still at the casino bar. He was.

"We don't want to stop there" Rory said abruptly, leaning toward Natalie.

"What do you mean?" she said.

"Let's make a night of it" said Rory, bragging. "Ever think of getting a room overlooking the falls, with ME, the coolest guy you've ever met. The man who you just met today and can't live without!"

Rory gave his widest grin showing all his teeth.

"Up there in the hotel?"

"If we can get the room. More like the suite."

"Can you afford it?

"I've worked my entire life for it."

"I'll call my brother."

"Text him. I"ll text Krypto."

"Text your dog?"

"Oh, I know a neighbour who'll look after Krypto."

Rory unevenly dialed the number, but was careful to speak casually. The two zombies meant he was on eight shots liquor.

"Now listen to me leave Krypto a message" Rory said to Natalie. "When my Mom and Dad call, they want me or an old school answering machine. They hate voice mail. So . . . ."


Krypto ran to the telephone as it rang, hoping it would be his master saying that he'd be home late. He waited patiently while the outgoing message played:

"You've reached Rory Keener!" said Rory's recorded voice enthusiastically. "Leave a message and I'll call you back . . . uh, if you want me to."

"Hey Krypto" said Rory now.

Pal barked eagerly.

"Buddy, I've staying here until tomorrow. Ruth Demeter is going to look in on you."

Krypto whined his disagreement.

"Come on Krypto" said Natalie. "It's nice to hear from you!"

"I wish we could put on the video" Rory said. "But see you later pal!"

Krypto had an idea he understood Rory's reasoning for staying away, but decided he'd withhold judgement until he saw and smelt the girl. But the dog was disappointed.


No such feeling for Rory, whose euphoria only increased. Not even the knowledge that the Casino hotel was booked mattered, they walked across the street to an even more expensive hotel with better falls views.

It didn't occur to Rory that his credit card was taking it on the chin. It didn't occur to Rory he was acting as if he had won a $5000 jackpot instead of just $50 from the nickel slot machines. Well, that $50 at least paid for the drinks.

It was an expensive room, booked in the high season. It had every luxury an entry-level architectural engineer at McMurdo Abbot could expect. Rory had spent over $600 on the room for that one night. Half-a-night really.

To top it off, Rory splurged on room service. It was what guys in movies did in expensive hotel rooms, and that was what informed Rory's thinking.

It was a colossal waste of money given it was almost midnight and they spent very little time admiring the view.