Kabuto, wrong one!

In which Kabuto makes some mistakes while reanimating his army.

Kabuto stood in his cave, smirking weirdly, with the sealing formula of the Reanimation Jutsu spread out on a scroll before him. He laid the body of Pein onto the formula. Strangely enough he had found two bodies, and he couldn't quite figure out which one was the real Pein. For a know-it-all like Kabuto, he was quite embarrassed about not understanding why there was an Uzumaki corpse next to Pein's, but he just resolved to put that on his "rather die than tell" list.

"Reanimation!" He shouted as he activated the seal. It spread out towards the screaming human in front of him and did it's thing.

He did not expect the result.

A teenager who was definitely not the leader of the akatsuki groaned in front of him. He certainly looked quite like he was supposed to with the yellow-orange hair and Ame headband, save the fact that his eyes were a perfectly normal brown with dark gray whites.

"I could've sworn I had died…" the teenager muttered as he looked around.

"You're not Pein!" Kabuto exclaims.

"Who are you?" the teenager asks accusingly. "And where am I?"

The snake frowns and shuts the kid in his coffin, cutting off his indignant shout of "Hey! What are you-". He almost feels bad for him. But not really.

He tries the other corpse that he'd picked up just in case.

This one produced satisfactory results. The redhead blinked awake, revealing two ringed violet eyes. How interesting.

Said eyes widened in shock as the coffin behind Kabuto fell apart to a familiar voice crying "Water Style: Water Blade!"

Water Style:Water Blade always made Nagato think about slimes for some reason. The cute, little, blue blobs that could eat you and absorb all your jutsu. Thankfully he'd only ever heard of them in stories before. In truth, one of them was his favorite. It was about a random person in a world without any jutsu or chakra dying and reincarnating into the summoning realm as a tiny slime. Actually, there was that one time when Nagato had accidentally summoned a slime from another dimension when he was practicing sealing jutsu.

Wait, he wasn't paying attention! He had just heard Yahiko! Stupid not having six trains of thought at once.

Stepping out of the coffin was his friend Yahiko. Nagato thought he was going to cry, so he hid behind the high collar of his cloak. The warmth of Yahiko's chakra was just so comforting, and after those horrifying twenty years in the darkness…

"Nagato? You're okay?"

The Uzumaki turned back towards his friend, attempting to stand up. Upon taking a second look, he found that he wasn't quite as alive as he thought.

Yahiko smiled. "You're okay! As soon as I died I totally regretted it. Hanzo was going to kill you too and I couldn't be there and- wait, you're crying? You're still that crybaby from when we were kids? I thought you had gotten over that! Anyways, I'm glad you're okay."

At that moment Nagato's newly repaired legs chose to give out on him and he fell face-first into the dirt. I guess two decades of not standing would do that to you.

In Yahiko's eyes, he only saw that his friend was clearly, not okay. He hurries over to where the redhead was struggling to pull himself up, and asks him what happened.

-Line break no jutsu!-

One long and detailed explanation later, a few flashback no jutsus and a rude interruption from this random snake guy, Yahiko had come to a conclusion.

"Then we'll run the Akatsuki as dead people!" he announces happily. "You should be leader."

"No, I've done far too much harm. It's your job," Nagato disagrees.

"But you've managed to lead a group of s-rank criminals, half of which are immortal, and who all have a tendency to kill people, without much damage!"

"You're the founder."

"You lead for decades more than me."

"You never turned evil."

"I died!"

"So did I! After destroying a village!"

There was a moment of silence as the two turned their backs to each other, arms crossed in disagreement. After a few minutes Yahiko finally gives in. "Fair point."

"... So do we want to take care of the snake guy over there?" the redhead asks.

"Eh. Let's just flip the seal. Do you know the formula?"

"It shouldn't be that hard to figure out. It's only an incomplete salad-form revival seal. Might take me a few hours though because I think whoever made it got the sandwich wrong."

Yahiko sweatdropped. "You Uzumaki and your sealing terms. No wonder nobody studies the craft, it's all a bunch of gibberish!" he mutters. "Anyways, I studied most of the second hokage's jutsu before I died. I think I have the right seal, but I need your expertise to revise it for me before we implement it."

"I was wondering why your skill sets were so eerily similar. Fine. Just don't tell me you missed the cheese again."

"That is absolutely unnecessary! Jiraiya-sensei told me that it just makes everything take longer!"

"Well he was wrong! Not drawing the cheese is like eating an egg without the yolk!"

The blonde facepalmed. He had forgotten how much work Nagato was when it came to seals. Realizing he'd need something to write with, he walks over to Kabuto, stuck in a laughable position of licking the air like a snake while smirking and looking thoroughly confused at the same time. The man's eyes flash with annoyance at the state a paralysis seal "Four year olds should know how to do" Nagato forced upon him, at realizing that the snake was tired of his flashback no jutsu. Yahiko snickered and turned back, wondering why he even went over there in the first place. Nagato needed help figuring out which of his summons he had stored his blank scrolls with.

The former akatsuki leaders begin to draw the necessary seals to flip control of the jutsu.

-Line break no jutsu!-

Back at the war…

"Did you see the redhead and orange haired guy on the way here too?" a nondescript shinobi who was never going to be seen again asked as they were regrouping to help Naruto fight this fake Madara guy.

"Yeah," another nondescript fodder shinobi says. "Aren't they part of the Akatsuki, who are trying to destroy the world?"

"Huh? A blonde and redhead akatsuki?" One of Naruto's shadow clones decides to intrude.

"We saw them on the way here."

Just then those two specific people jumped in front of the squad, one of them politely waving, the other shouting a brief "What's up?" before returning to their conversation about these odd foods the redhead called "pizza" and "tacos" and "burgers".

Both of them grinned, ignoring the kunai thrown at them, as they arrived at the battlefield and started throwing jutsu at the enemy?