AN ANGRY SPELLMASTER

Rory woke up the next morning unaccountably thinking of Doug Falconheart's first rule of pranking. An awesome prank doesn't hurt anyone, except in their dignity.

"I haven't been thinking of Doug Falconheart's rules of pranking for years" Rory told Krypto over breakfast. "I guess I must have been dreaming about bringing back my Prankee secret identity. Remember how back at university we upgraded the old orange-bucket-of-paint above the door trick? To a drone flies just below the ceiling and pours a bucket of paint trick? Or the remote controlled paint bucket dumping out on your head? You think Natalie would be impressed?"

Krypto whined, and looked um-impressed. Rory understood why.

"No, buddy" said Rory with a shrug as he received a text message. "I'm not dumping the orange paint on Natalie. But you know, a good pail of . . . non-toxic . . . orange paint on someone who's too full of themself?"

Krypto barked his approval.

"Ah, I hoping Natalie was . . . hey, Benny's coming back in town" said Rory.

"Heads up Rory" Benny had texted. "Your monster-hunting amigo, wizard-pal and bandmate will be back in town tonight. Can't wait to see your fiancé Natalie . . . again."

"Man, he's going to be surprised to see how Natalie looks in person. After months in a mining port, he'll be surprised to see so many girls period" added Rory, after a moment of reflection. "What does Benny mean see her again? I get it . . . the texts I sent!"

When Rory left, Krypto looked after him anxiously. The dog felt that something wasn't quite right. Krypto would have really preferred Rory did not go to McMurdo Abbott that day.


When Rory arrived at the second floor, after characteristically greeting everyone he passed, he stopped at the locked steel cabinet outside his door. The door was slightly opened.

As an expert prankster himself, Rory stopped. He looked carefully.

"Man, that's lame!" Rory said cheerfully. "It is the old bucket of paint on the door trick! I bet it's Rosetter!"

The most practical thing to give the heads-up to the custodian. But that was wimpy, cowardly, stupid, lazy and no fun. So Rory decided to open the door carefully and stand out of the way, to disarm the prank. Sure enough, the bucket fell to the ground harmlessly. Red paint was what Rosetter preferred.

Rory went in his office smirking. He wasn't prepared for what happened next. A bit of fishing line had been connected about his office to several dust bombs. Only they weren't dust bombs, they were mould bombs, the same type that had aggravated his asthma every fall when he was a kid.

And the room was so full of spores and dust Rory could hardly see.

"The frack" he said furiously.

Some prank! This could kill him!

Rory went to open the window, before he realized they didn't open.

"Where's . . . cough . . . that inhaler!" said Rory bitterly, deciding he better grab it before he escaped the room. "My trusty garlic cloves won't . . . cough . . . be much use."

He picked up his inhaler, but before he used it, a bad cough made him drop it on his desk. It put a jet of spray in the air before rolling onto the floor

And in coughing just then, Rory was the beneficiary of extreme good luck. Even coughing, Rory could smell that someone had put concentrated pepper spray in his inhaler.

Then, Ralph (one of the draftsman), Izzy (another) and Serena (the secretary) were attracted by the noise.

"What the hell are you doing in there!" Ralph exclaimed. "Get out of there Keener!"

"Rory's asthmatic" said Serena.

Without another word, Ralph and Izzy dragged the red-faced and coughing Rory out of the room.

They sat Rory up in a chair and loosened his collar. Serena called Emergency, while Edna Williams ran to the first aid kit on each floor.

"Someone's stolen the inhaler from the first aid kit" Williams called back.

The situation was dangerous to Rory. It was also humiliating. It also went straight up to Roderick Abbott in his penthouse offices. And from there to the police.


But Rory didn't know the half of it, as he was reclined, sulkily enough, in his hospital room a couple hours later. He was IV'd, he was given tons of medication, and warned he'd have to stay a few days to make sure he didn't get a lung infection from the mold.

Now that he had finally stopped coughing, Rory wondered what he'd tell Natalie in a way to make his asthma as less embarrassing as possible. Rory didn't know that Natalie had been told at the bank, and was already coming to see him . . . although the bank manager was making her wait until after closing hours.


If Rory was bitter, Benny was furious.

Benny didn't arrive until the afternoon, going to have lunch with his Mom and Step-Dad.

Benny had a couple words, and a few grins, to greet Barb when he finally returned to his office on the sixth floor. Barb watched in barely suppressed rage as Benny turned the doorknob a couple times and casually walked into the now dusty room.

"I forgot about that" said Benny, as he brushed several months of dust from his desk with his suit-jacket sleeve. "I hope the cleaning lady doesn't kill me Barb, for letting this pile up."

"The cleaning lady?" said Barb innocently. "Oh, I'll send her right up. Someone wasn't doing her job."

"It's okay" said Benny, sitting on his leather Oxford chair and putting his feet up on the mahogany-veneer desk and gazing at his engineering degree. "Long time no Ms. Fahrzy to leave me notes about leaving shoeprints on my desk. And the door was locked. Anything for me to do now that I'm here for the next five weeks?"

"You're taking Rory Keener's place on the Baker survey file" said Barb. "While he's indisposed."

"What the hell are you talking about it?" said Benny at once getting to his feet. "Rory's indisposed. The dude's been sick, but he's never been indisposed? Especially since he's finally got a girl."

Barb looked at Benny. It was hard to believe to anyone who knew him as a teenager, but he was a tall man and no beanpole either. Barb knew Benny wouldn't try to strike her. But if he knew she had just tried . . . but failed . . . to murder Rory with that inhaler . . . .

"Oh, he's had a little asthma attack" said Barb.

"The garlic stopped working?" asked Benny surprised.

"Well, it's nothing" lied Barb. "He's just in the hospital."

"What happened?"

"Oh, it's just a little matter for the police."

After a stream of profanity, Benny left Barb alone and left to go to security on the thirteenth floor.

Barb was wondering if she should quit her post, and considering if she ought to contact Yates before leaving the country outright. But she considered the only link between her and Rory was Rosetter. But if the Mississauga Police pressed that link . . . .

She jumped.

"Sorry, Barb" said Benny, sticking his head in guiltily. "It's not as if I'm blaming you. But I swear, the guy whose done this is going on Benny's list."


Benny discovered that the hospital was only allowing relatives to visit Rory. So, Benny left a message at the nurse's station for Rory and Rory's parents too (who he knew would be coming).

"You can at least let me Skype him?" said Benny to the nurse.

"He'll be fine" said the nurse, a redhead with deep green eyes. "But the doctor wants him to rest. He was expecting you might come by."

"Of course he was" said Benny casually. "We're bros."

"He wanted to do you a favour."

"I got it" said Benny arrogantly. "Comfort Natalie. Downplay his asthma."

"No, he wants you to dogsit."

"You know, I'll probably be back here in the next couple days" tried Benny. "When Rory's better. How about you and me . . . ."

"My boyfriend's an orderly in the psych ward" replied the nurse curtly. "He benches 200 pounds and is very jealous. Would you like to meet him?"

"I'll pass" shrugged Benny.

Benny remembered Krypto, and instead of going to his own condo, decided to go to Rory's to make sure the faithful dog wasn't left alone.


"Resera hoc ostium" unlocked most doors for Benny. So he ambled into Rory's condo, and greeted Krypto . . . who seemed worried.

"Yeah, Benny's back Krypto" said Benny. "But I know you're looking for Rory, dude. But I've got his permission to watch you until he comes home. He's had an asthma attack . . . a real bad one . . . and he's going to be in the hospital for the next few days."

Krypto growled and lay down by the telephone answering machine, looking unsettled. It didn't seem like Rory to leave for awhile, without so much as a message.

"He'll get back to you tonight" Benny told the dog reassuringly.

Benny sat down and got to thinking. He tried to get Ethan on Skype, but couldn't reach him.

"Noo Yorkers" said Benny, faking the accent. "They probably have Ethan designing some car garage for BMW's.

Benny sent Ethan an email and yawned.

"Since Rory's okay, there's not much to get uptight about . . . except finding the fracking guy who did this to him" said Benny to himself. "I need E to do that. Or at least the cops. I may be a powerfully awesome spellmaster, but I'm no seer."

"My first night back, and I'm spending it at Rory's watching Krypto" said Benny. "The heck with this. I could take Krypto to my own place. I'll leave a note."

But before Benny could send the text, the door unlocked.

Natalie. She stopped short. That didn't stop Krypto, who ran to her.

"Who are you!" she said at last, with some concern.

"I think you've seen my photo" said Benny. "Benny Weir, one of Rory's friends. Don't tell me those creeps didn't let you see Rory?"

"No, they did" said Natalie. "But only for a few minutes."

"Rory's a lucky man" said Benny, getting up.

Natalie looked at him quizzically.

"I've seen you" said Natalie. "In person . . . with Rory. But I can't remember."

"I can" said Benny, holding up his hand.

Benny used his announcer voice, a deeper version of the voice he once used to introduce Ethan in his one and only wrestling match.

"We were listening to Single Tear back in their heydey. Here . . . well, near here. What used to be the Air Canada Centre but is now Scotiabank Arena. Rory Keener, Ethan Morgan, and me, Benny Weir, sat next to two hot teenage girls. I sat next to you. I asked you out . . . we were going to go on a date after the concert. . . ."

"But Single Tear invited you three to hang out because they heard you were visiting in town."

"Something like that" said Benny with a wry expression.

They looked at one another. Natalie looked worried, but Benny looked amused.

"Does Rory know?" asked Natalie.

"Not yet" said Benny, and laughed. "You think he'd want us here together if he did?"

"That's not funny" said Natalie.

"Ah, come on Natalie" said Benny. "I asked you out once when I was sixteen. But I'm going to tell him. It's real funny, I just sat in the way of you two discovering one another. And you know what? I'm not a Single Tear fan. Me, Ethan went because Rory's such a big fan."

"It's as if it was meant to be like this" said Natalie, thoughtfully. "I was meant to meet Rory now."

"Yeah" said Benny. "It wouldn't have worked with Rory and you back then. It's not as if you'd have succeeded in the long distance thing when you were both sixteen and lived four hours away from each other. And you'd have to wait for Rory . . . and wait . . . and wait. Besides, together, we'd look weird now. I grew too many inches since I was a kid."

They both stood up. While Natalie looked natural aside Rory, Benny towered over her. They both laughed.

"Like Jaws and his girlfriend in Moonraker" said Benny. "Except I don't have metal teeth . . . and I'm shorter . . . and you don't wear glasses or have pigtails."

"Huh?" said Natalie.

"Rory will tell you" shrugged Benny, as he sat down again. "I bet he's the guy could chew steel right now. I'm filling in on his big project for Baker. He's always hated his asthma."

"I bet Rory's never had such a setback in his whole life."

"You have no idea, Natalie" said Benny dryly.

"I can't believe that anyone did this" said Natalie. "I know that his coworkers don't get along with him."

"Most of them do" said Benny. "A few months ago they did. Rory's crazy, but in a good way. He's a real easy guy to get along with."

Benny didn't add that too much Rory got on your nerves.

"Rory's not crazy" said Natalie. "He's . . . ."

"I'm kidding around, Natalie" interrupted Benny. "Rory, Ethan, me, we're Team Sabre, the three musketeers.

"Too bad he doesn't get along with Rosetter and Beauchamp. I half-believe they're behind the attempt on Rory's life."

"Yeah, right" said Benny dismissively. "Cut-throat competition. I heard about it. Rosetter tried to keep the credit for himself, designed that portholed horror with the mouse-hole garages, and now he's under Rory. And so he's now swore to kill him? With an asthma-attack prank? Yeah, you really should watch more Bond movies. Because that's what the guy sounds like. The only thing something so over-the-top could do is ruin the good old school and stuffy name of McMurdo Abbott. I mean, Natalie, I can see something like that happen at Quinton Haggard Yates but our company's way too boring."

"I can't believe how relaxed you are about this" said Natalie, in a tone of disapproval.

"When you hunt the paranormal a bad asthma attack is like being delivered a cold pizza" Benny explained.

"Well, asthma attacks are real" said Natalie. "I know Rory takes ghost-hunting seriously, but . . . ."

"Ghost hunting!" Benny exclaimed.

"Ghost hunting."

"I remember now" said Benny in a pained voice, remembering how Ethan had described Rory's downplaying of Team Sabre. "Trust me, Natalie. The fact I'm sitting here talking with you about . . . ghost hunting . . . proves I am the most . . . loyal . . . pal . . . ever."

"I believe you" said Natalie. "Trust me, Benny, I didn't mean to offend you. I know you and your grandmother take it very seriously."

Benny gave a very awkward, fake laugh.

"No problem, Natalie" said Benny. "Any fiancé of Rory's is a buddy of mine. And Rory's wannabe killer is definitely on my list of enemies. If the cops don't find him I will."

"Sure you will" said Natalie sadly, shaking her head. "I would too."

"There are things you don't know about me" said Benny. "Like, how my Step-Dad is a top-ranked police detective in T.O. But . . . about this Rosetter dude . . . ."


Benny and Natalie discussed the Baker project, and Rosetter's failed attempt to sideline or eliminate Rory from the project. While Natalie was suspicious, Benny had a hard time getting his mind around the idea that an architect could be so jealous he'd try to kill Rory.

But the more Natalie told Benny about Rosetter, the more suspicious Benny became. It couldn't hurt to check.

And Natalie was going to take Krypto home anyway!

"It couldn't hurt to check" thought Benny. It couldn't hurt to check! Some guy had just tried to kill his next-to-best pal! Because he was jealous over a blueprint! It's about I do something about Benny's list! This guy's going to confess! Benny's list! I've been way too nice. This guy's going to pay."

If Natalie looked carefully, she would have noticed a look of guilt run over Benny's face. Benny had been seriously considering using the inside-out spell. The spell that put a person's insides on their outsides, leading to a quick, painful and bloody death.

Benny changed his mind. But he was still atypically enraged. And the fact that he was keeping outwardly cool in front of Rory's fiancé, only made his madder.

And the fact Benny had the power to do something about it, but was holding himself back, made him even angrier.

"But with great power comes great responsibility" Benny muttered to himself.

Maybe Benny had just better hope the police find out what happened. Although the surveillance camera on the second floor had been tampered with and there was no available footage. Rory's office had been scrubbed clean of any fingerprints.

Well, maybe there'd be DNA? Yeah right. The only way there's be a conviction is with a confession.

And maybe Benny could get a confession from Rosetter. And if Rosetter had tortured Rory with that asthma attack

Well, would it really be so wrong to torture a confession out of Rosetter? And learn the whole story.


Benny sighted the record player Natalie had bought Rory.

"Rory's into vinyl now?" said Benny tersely.

He could barely hide how angry he was with Rosetter.

"Yes, I bought it for him" said Natalie.

"Yeah, there's nothing like vinyl" said Benny diplomatically, who thought it was a complete waste of time.

Benny guessed what led Rory to his sudden love of records. Natalie.

Benny idly wondered to the shelf.

"Home on the Range" said Benny wryly, as he looked through the Single Tear albums and found the one western collection. "Yeah, I believe it. Do you mind if I borrow Rory's turntable. I think I can use it."

"It's Rory's" said Natalie. "But I'm sure he'll love to let you use it. But be careful."

"I swear" said Benny. "I won't let Rory down."