Okay, so I wrote a fanfic about Clamps the same way BigCandyMama wrote it. No big deal, a'ight? Clamps will always be my number-one character on my list of favorite characters and will always will be; I love everything about him. Though, it really gotten me thinking, as I look into the show more and more with reoccurring wikis saying that his is cisgender and heterosexual, I thought: "Well, why can't the show make him this or that? Maybe use more LGBT writing." I get that we cannot always change these things, but you know how I am. I know that Randy is a reoccurring homosexual character in the show, but people think that he is meterosexual. Just why?

Also, this fic is also to playfully piss off any homophobes, transphobes, people who shame polyamory, and people who think that non-binary and other gender identities don't exist in the spectrum of gender. So this one is for you :)

June 1st, 3022

Hi, there...I know—I'm not very good with greetings and whatnot, but I'm working on it. One of my partners, Joey, got me this diary to write down any personal or private thoughts and/or feelings that I have. So, I'm trying to write down anything that I have, y'know, to show him that I'm using it. I know that some girls do this and whatnot, they're always introducing as "Dear Diary," but I don't really wanna do that. I kinda find that a bit silly as to say so myself. So with the honorable thing, as might as well treat this thing as a person.

So, yeah, welcome to the first page. I guess I'll introduce myself as well: My name is Francis X. Clampazzo—I have three gay partners and we all live in this wonderful, three-story house just outside of the skirts of New New York, living somewhere in a cool forest where we are currently growing some fruits that are simple enough for us; like strawberries along with blueberries and some trees such as a cute little orange trees and a cherry tree at the moment. It's a small garden to be honest, but we're thinking about expanding it just a bit with all the space for our plants. Me and my partners are currently growing a small pumpkin sapling to plant for autumn, and look up any recipes to use to the pumpkin guts. I was thinking about a simple bread, but my second partner, Roberto, wants to make cupcakes with a cream-cheese frosting so he can give them to little kids on either Halloween or Thanksgiving—I love him too dearly to even be mad about that.

It's not just us that we're living in the house, four months ago, Joey adopted a little brown Labrador Retriever puppy as a Valentine's Day gift for us. He was very small when Joey got him—he was just a tiny little baby and still needed to be bottle-fed. His mama apparently died just hours after he was born and was the only pup to ever come out of her; never got a drop of milk, but he was a fighter. So we all named him Russell. I know what you're thinking, "How would four robots raise a living, breathing pup?" Fact is, two of my partners along with myself really anted kids of our own some day, so Joey thought that we needed to learn a thing or two about caring and whatnot—so he got us the pup.

I'm also not the only one who doesn't identify as male or female, there is my third and final partner: The Robot Devil. Yeah, he's gay as well, but also pangender; meaning that he uses a number of gender pronouns like "she," "he," "they/them," and "it." We're mostly using "they/them" pronouns, but we still call him our boyfriend. Or partner either way. Believe me, it was a shocker as well, we've known him before dating and we always thought that he was identifying as male throughout his life, but we never judge him no matter what they—(again, all pronouns)—see themselves as.

As always, you must be confused what I mean by that I don't identify as male or female. Allow me to explain.

I was never born on Earth, as I grew up on Sicily 8—the mob planet. My parents were really nice rich people as my dad owned a very successful multi-million-dollar business that specializes in military weapons and guns, originally found by my great-great-grandfather. My parents names were Adam and Rosemary—a nice-looking robot couple that you'd be jealous of. Back to the subject, as I was born in Sicily 8, I was also born as Francine X. Clampazzo—the daughter of Rosemary and Adam. So I wasn't named Francis.

I kinda always knew that I was different throughout my whole life as a fembot. Growing up, I was always a Daddy's Girl, but I never felt like it. I never wanted to play with dolls; dress in girls' clothing with the pink frilly skirts; or even, hell, act like a girl at all. My mom told me that not all girls don't wanna be all feminine, as she explained to me about tomboys—I felt comfortable knowing that, but I knew that I couldn't be more than just a tomboy.

Anyway, when I started school, I felt a bit queasy since most little kids were always nervous about the first day. Though, some positivity came out for the first part. I remembered as I was putting my stuff away in a cupboard, a group of four boys that were friends throughout their lives saw me as a new person and asked if I could be part of a game of baseball or Duck, Duck, Goose during recess. I was surprised that I wasn't made fun of for being a girl, or even be mocked for being a girl. I eventually agreed, and since then, we became friends and I was part of their group—seeing that they were educated well for respecting others no matter what. Oh, right, the names.

The boys were all humans of a different race. There was Devon, a African-American kid with an out-going personality and a positive vibe always coming out of him—always smiling and would pull you into a full-on conversation with him if you asked on how was his day. Then was Akio, meaning from his Japanese culture was "bright man," coming from his parents, he was born a genuis—at the age of four, he built a mechanical catapult to hurl rotten eggs into the garbage and had a hyperactive and cheerful personality. Then last but not least was Antonio and Dakota: Antonio being Spanish-Mexican and a great artist with a calm and social persona; Dakota in his Native-American heritage was "friendly companion" and was always so zen around us—thanks to his grandmother who was so spiritual—he always wore a bracelet with an actual turquoise stone. I felt so right with the boys—always having fun with each other and we never gotten into arguments, and we always looked out for each other. Though, just like any other school, there were always people with shitty opinions about us.

When we were thirteen, there was this group of girls—all of them in the same Caucasian race and acted like (pardon my French) total cunts. The leader was this back-talking racist bitch named Debbie, she didn't care on who she targeted who—and would always bring them down to the point where they cry. The others were Jocelyn and Katie, would be the same but they would get a bit physical. I guess her target was none other than this one girl that we always saw in study hall. Her name that we picked up was Allee, a shy girl with red glasses and long black hair, she was a mix of three cultures—Asian-Hawaiian from her mom and Jewish from her dad. She did look more Korean, but that was just what she looked like.

God, I couldn't even believe how angry I got from when they were saying some awful shit about her. They were, like, three feet away from us and it was clear as day when I heard them say stuff like: "Hey girls, check out this mixed-up bitch, what a fucking screw up!" "I wonder if Jewish people also cut off clitoruses the same way men cut off the tip of their dicks." "Believe me, Hawaiians are such third-world people—maybe Allee is one, too!" Not to mention, she was also a late-bloomer, so she was flat-chested while myself was growing a pair of C-cups. Jocelyn apparently touched her right in the chest and called out: "Look's like Allee forgotten to wear her boobs before coming to school!"

I guess I wasn't the only one angry at Debbie and her girls, Devon literally had a set of balls to walk up and stand himself between Jocelyn and stand up to Allee. And for once, he called her out for their xenophobia. I watched the whole thing as I saw Devon putting Allee behind him and do a simple scolding. "Hey man, you don't get to discriminate someone else like that!"

"Oh c'mon, Devon, we were just having a little tease. Stop being such a baby!"

"Teasing someone just 'cause you think that you're white means that you get to hurt someone who is of other color or heritage? Yeah, that's called being a racist bitch, Debbie." I pretty much laughed at Debbie's confused face, Devon had the right to say so. The final bell rang and Devon decided to invite Allee to a pizzeria we were going to after school to hang out. Allee was rather stunned when she finally met me and was amazed that I was the only female in the group.

Allee was also amazing as well. She was funny, joyful, and a bit shy. Though, she also reasoned with us on why she was getting picked on in the first place—also the birth of my awakening of my gender. Allee wasn't her actual name—she was born as Alvin. She told us in detail on how she was a girl trapped inside a boy and needed to find her way out. She wanted to play with dolls, wear a dress, and even acted like a girl; but was a boy who couldn't do that. At the age of eight, she finally came out and her parents accepted Allee as their daughter. They gave her makeup, dresses, and started her transitioning by growing out her hair and given her first dose of hormone blockers.

Devon along with me and the other guys accepted Allee as our friend—saying that they didn't care on what she was as long as she stayed true to herself. Though, I could remember scolding myself on how I never realized two things: I was suppose to be born a boy, and I fit right in the group because I felt like a boy.

At summer, I was so fucking nervous, pacing around to know the right time of coming out as transgender to both my parents and my friends. I always remembered looking in the mirror, sighing to myself and told my reflection: "There's always another time," every time I chickened out of not saying anything. I knew that I needed to say something, I couldn't stand of telling myself that I'm a girl and not a boy. So, I went ahead and came downstairs where my mom and dad were cooking dinner one night and I told them that there was something that I needed to talk to them about something.

We were all on the couch, and I began to hesitantly explain about some things that happened. I talked to them about my friends. I talked to them about this group of mean girls. I talked to them about how Debbie and her group were picking and making fun of Allee. I talked to them about the fact about Allee used to be a Alvin. I even explained to them on what it meant for Allee to be trans, and even explained on how I finally figured out on why I was never like any of the girls—it was because I identify as a boy.

Sure enough, I thought that my parents were going to be disappointed, but gotten a complete different reaction out of them as my dad then said: "Well, I always wondered what it was like to have a son, but now I do." I cried that evening, knowing that they accepted me as Allee was accepted as a girl to her parents. The rest of the summer was me and my mom going out shopping as she joked that she must've gotten the wrong clothes after all these years. I was then surprised a doctor's visit by my dad to schedule me for hormone therapy and was given my very first dose of androgens. By the end of summer, when me and my friends along with Allee reunited, I welcomed them as "Francis" instead of "Francine."

So fast-forward of me living on Earth but still in contact of my friends and working with the Donbot, my time of being at a workplace with the Robot Mafia was extremely hard for me—especially since Don was so overreacting of women or any females joining the mafia. When I was transitioning, I was obviously sporting out a good pair of C's to D's, but they never bothered me and Sicily 8 hospitals weren't specialized in performing breast reduction or top surgery on transgender figures like myself. So the only way of surviving work was to put layers upon layers of bandages on my breasts to at least flatten them a bit, and after that, I would put on a sports bra. The only person I told about me being a trans manbot was the Don's wife, Fanny, and his daughters. And my partner (who at the time was my friend), Joey.

I think the first time I found any men or boys attractive was my partner Joey—he was certainly queer for the most part, I never seen him compliment any sexual or lewd comments towards women or fembots and seem to lean towards men's attention. So it was a bit scary for me also, it was also the same time when I found out that he was in a committed relationship with Roberto, his first boyfriend. I've known him also, he used to be all crazy and threaten to stab anyone who comes near him, but I think he must've gotten some actual help and is now better for the most part. From what I've heard, he is now doing some part-time drag modeling as a job and is demisexual-homoromantic.

So, I tried to suppress any romantic feelings to my friend Joey, but they kept growing strong. What even made things from bad to worse was when I found Roberto attractive, too. So not only I had feelings for Joey, but I also had some for my boyfriend. Believe me, I never expected to be a polyamorous person (or robot) 'til now. This was literally the first time I found two people to be attracted at the same time—even though I was pretty much gay at the time, I still knew that I had to come out eventually and tell them my feelings.

Not to mention, this was three years ago, our partner Beelzebot wasn't in the relationship until we were about six months into our three-person relationship; so we have two relationship anniversaries: an anniversary for our relationship when I told them about my feelings to Joey and Roberto—and another one for when Beelzebot came into our relationship. I still remember our first date with him—we were all at a nice restaurant with him (it wasn't Elzar's) two days before Halloween. I expected for him to be all evil and whatnot (since he was the Robot Devil) but I guess that he just hides his sweet and bubbly side very often around his robot demons to show some serious business.

Right, right—I told Joey and Roberto that I had attraction towards them. They were completely fine with it! They told me that they weren't polyamory people themselves, but they'll try and see how it worked. And the results came out fantastic. We went on some pretty great dates, and having another person in the relationship was all of Joey's idea; he thought that maybe inviting someone into our relationship should be another step, so both me and Roberto agreed. And that was when the Robot Devil came to us—gay, pangender, and still not openly polyamorous but a bit closeted. We all loved him and accepted him into our relationship and we're now a committed gay-polyam foursome.

The whole reason for buying a house just on the outskirts of New New York were two things: one was being all four of us wanted to live together and be a family, and two was because Joey didn't want anybody to judge us and knows that there are types of people who are nosy and gossip. I pretty much like the house—love the quietness and peacefulness, I didn't care so much for noise. And as for "nosy and gossiping" people, the four of us agreed that we reveal our relationship to some friends who support it. We have only one friend who was a bit confused, but supported it while trying to figure out what the hell is polyamory anyway. There were some friends of Joey who didn't know me, so I introduced them myself and told them that I was a transgender manbot who never gotten top surgery. Keeping to forget and whatnot, but I also identify as non-binary due to other reasons, so I use "he/they" and "him/them." Most people use "he/him" just to know that they respect me, but I told them that they can also use "they/them" as well.

You also may be wondering about my friends back on Sicily 8, well, just two-and-a-half yeas ago, all five of them move here to Earth. And they are now our neighbors. Allee and my other four boys who are friends purchased a huge house just like ours and the walk to theirs was only a two-minute range (thirty seconds if you count running). As it turns out—Devon, Akio, Dakota and Antonio were now a gay-polyamory foursome relationship just like me and my partners. Allee is a lesbian and is currently dating a Nigerian genderfluid homosexual woman who uses English as a second language (her name is Adaku, her name meant that she was born into a wealthy family and she was, we've met her and she is a sweet and noble woman). Allee and my other friends all agreed to a plan a few months ago that they were to be roommates, I wasn't sure how they knew my new address, but they knew somehow.

It was great to at least know that me, Joey, Roberto, and Beelzebot weren't the only ones in a polycule relationship. I know that we're not the only ones and there are others out there in the world. The nine of us plan for future hangouts together—even Aduka, if she wants—like camping, going on hikes, and going out to eat. Camping and hiking were most things that we do since we now all live in a forest. We hike up on a steep hill that me and Allee take that is pretty much a ten-minute walk from our house to the beginning of a path. Since its always cool, we're constantly wearing either jackets and/or sweaters. Both of our houses apparently are built next to a large lake where we swim or fish—sometimes both.

Me and Allee were pretty much the only ones that hang out the most. Our boys just hang at each other's place and drink hot liquids and watch some TV (yes, we have a TV, even WiFi). We're pretty much outdoors people. We even discover small creatures—like jumping mice, frogs or toads, squirrels, bunnies. We even discovered a deer and her fawn, two of them, and we fed them—Allee mostly fed them due to my lack of hands and fingers, but I petted the fawns. We sometimes go out at night and see some barn owls (the ones that you see in a café in Japan, me and Allee really want to travel there sometime). I let her come over and play with Russell, since I knew that she always has been the type of person who just loves things that were small and cute. I've told her some things, like my job and whatnot as a mobbot, she said that I should take a second job just to even out the criminal stuff. And that is where I landed my part-time job as a barista in a really nice coffee shop. The owner there was really nice and trained me, now I'm fully skilled to a cappuccino machine. My friends and boyfriends visit me at work and order something to support business.

So, yeah, my life is going out pretty great at the moment. I've got friends, three boyfriends, a puppy who constantly annoys but evens it out by being cute, and a nice, quiet space to extract out the noise. Me and Joey plan to quit our jobs as mobsters, but we're still working up the courage to do so. Though, we'll still visit Fanny and her daughters. Roberto took a job as being a mechanic at home, and our Beelzebot is still being the Robot Devil. Any way, I've got to go now—me and Allee are going to catch any catfish from the lake and maybe swim for any prawns or soft shell streamers. And then go and look for oyster mushrooms. I'll give any details of what happened after I get back. Hoping to write again soon.

And there you have it! The diary is now complete! Let me know if you wanna see some adventures of these eleven characters (Russell is included, too). Also, give me some ideas if you want an multi-chapter of this (not the diary version, but just fanfic). I'll be sure to mention you of any of your ideas if I do have any interest/time for it.

Read and Review!