Brienne was walking down the street toward her rented flat as the rays of rising sun filled the streets with a gentle orange glow.
She was too exhausted to see the beauty of a new day and the whole night of dancing had nothing to do with it. Her body couldn't feel any of it, yet emotionally she was like a hundred times drained sponge.
Jaime's words couldn't leave her mind.
There could be so much more…
So much more…
So much more…
No, there couldn't be, Brienne tried to tell herself but it sounded weak, more like the trained words of denial than her genuine belief.
How could Jaime tell her something like this? Did he enjoy making fun of her? Giving her hope for something that could never happen?
He wasn't joking, the image of his face was vividly committed to her memory. There was no amusement, just the anger, disappointment… and hurt.
Brienne sighed as she reached the front entrance of her flat where she had spent five years of her studies. The old door covered in cracked blue paint creaked under her hand as she entered the unkempt staircase. Not bothering to wait for a lift, she slowly took steps upstairs.
Brienne entered her small apartment in an attic. With almost all her things already packed, it felt empty and uninviting. Without striping her clothes and removing the rests of her light makeup, Brienne fell on a couch. She still had time to find some sleep, she had even left bed sheets on, but she knew it was pointless. There was no way she could close her eyes and not see Jaime's face and the strange expression in his eyes.
There could be so much more.
So much more…
She found it impossible to forget those words and even harder to ignore the meaning hidden behind them.
It was always like that with Jaime. He had this special ability to catch other people's attention no matter wherever he was and whatever he did. Right at the beginning of their acquaintance when Brienne tried her best to avoid him, his bright presence turned out to be incredibly difficult to overlook. Luckily, they didn't see each other very often but when they did, Brienne quickly discovered how hard it was to turn her gaze away from him. And it was even harder to forget everything she so unexpectedly came to know about him.
So, when professor Aemon assigned them to work together, Brienne was horrified.
"Let's celebrate our partnership," Jaime said with a sly smile after they had left the classroom. "How about coffee at Crossroads? Believe me, it's better than the caffeinated dishwater we could get here."
Brienne refused. She was already aware of her crush and being in his presence, the greatest blessing and the worst torture, was stirring up the feelings her heart could not bear alone.
So she tried to escape. She tried, to only make everything worse. Especially when Jaime found out about her attempt to change him as a partner. She hadn't thought it was possible to look so angry and so dejected at the same time.
It wasn't the same between them after that. They still worked together but there was a growing distance between them and if Brienne had thought she wanted that, she quickly came to realize that she hated every second of it.
Jaime became cold and arrogant; his jokes and his teasing were sharper and more cutting than usual. It was obvious he was upset with her but Brienne couldn't understand why. She only tried to save her from inevitable heartbreak and to give him a chance to spend time with someone else of his choosing instead of ugly and boring Brienne.
Yet despite the sudden enmity between them, it was Jaime who has always been there for her. She still could remember the day of advanced biochemistry exam, the most difficult and feared one of their whole studies. Just before they entered, Brienne had received a message about her father's car accident. She left the campus immediately and without hesitation. And with Jaime at her heels.
"Return to the exam, Jaime. I don't want you to fail because of me," she had said, hurrying in the direction of the bus stop.
"Fuck the exam. I have a car, come with me."
So she did.
Luckily father got away with minor injuries and Brienne could return a few days later. She went to thank Jaime but he dismissed all her words of gratitude and invited her for coffee instead. Of course, Brienne refused and they didn't talk about this later.
After they finished professor Aemon's course, they rarely saw each other. Brienne became closer with Sansa and Margaery. It was nice to have their company, do shopping together or even sometimes be dragged to parties with them. Despite the striking differences between the girls, Brienne considered them friends.
But it wasn't them who remembered such trivial things as her birthdays for example. Jaime did. Brienne had never told him about it and she still had no idea how he got this information. He had always sent her a message, congratulating her on another successful step towards getting old which involuntary made Brienne smile. He remembered. Unlike many other people she knew, Jaime had always remembered.
Brienne sighed as she turned on her old uncomfortable couch. Whoever designed that thing the eternity ago, certainly had different priorities in mind than comfort and ease of use.
Here, it feels like you enter a time machine to the eighties, Jaime said once during one of his few visits.
He was the only one who has ever been here. Brienne had never invited Sansa and Margaery over. Nor had she done that with Jaime but somehow, he managed to do it himself after he insisted to take her home from a party celebrating the end of the semester. Brienne was well in her cups and she didn't really realize what exactly it had meant. She came to her mind when they reached her door. Embarrassed and ashamed of her living conditions, Brienne didn't let him in.
"I… I can't let you in…" she stammered not meeting his gaze.
"Are you afraid of me?" he asked then, leaning against her door frame.
"No… it's just not… I can't… It's not a good idea…"
Jaime didn't press her. He just bid her a good night and left. And they had never spoken of it.
It was almost half a year later when he got to enter her apartment.
Brienne woke up with a fever and sore throat. She could barely move around her flat and attending her classes was out of the question. There was no other choice than to stay abed and hope for quick recovery.
It was not even five minutes after their classes had begun when she got a message.
"I didn't hear anything about a disaster in your area and you're not here. Are you alive?"
"Hardly," she replied. "Just a bit ill. I'll be back tomorrow."
She wasn't. The next day Brienne felt even worse. Her little emergency pills storage was running thin and the medicine she had taken didn't have the desired effect.
Brienne had spent the day abed falling in and out of sleep when she heard a knock to her door. At first, she thought that she was dreaming but the knocking was persistent.
Summoning all her strength and willpower, Brienne raised from her bed and walked to the door.
"Jaime," she said when the door revealed his beautiful golden face. "What are you doing here?"
"Checking on you," he said like it was the most obvious thing to do. "You don't reply to my texts."
"You didn't have to worry," Brienne mumbled, trying to steady herself on her feet. "I'm fine."
"Have you seen yourself? You look as awful as you lie," Jaime said with a sarcastic smile. "May I come in? I have something for you."
It didn't take him long to convince her. She was too weak and too dizzy from fever to care what he would think of her and her modest accommodation.
To her surprise, Jaime didn't say anything about this, same as he didn't comment further on her messy looks.
He took care of her instead.
He had brought food with him, which he forced her to eat. ("You need your strength back, wench.") He made hot tea for her as well as he brought some medicines.
Brienne didn't know how to react to any of it. She wasn't used to such kindness.
"Thank you," she said when Jaime was preparing to leave.
"Get better. You can't expect me to endure Qyburn's class alone next week."
Next day Brienne was good enough to do a little work from her bed. And finally, she brought herself to manage all received texts on her phone. Except for her father, there was only one person who had texted her. Jaime. Others probably didn't notice her three-day absence and even if they did, no one cared enough to ask after her. Not even Margaery and Sansa, who later claimed they were incredibly busy those days and actually they had thought that Brienne wanted some time alone.
Brienne still remembered how painful it was to hear that from her only friends. And Jaime didn't have to be her friend to care, her heart was beating heavily in her chest with all newly awakened feelings for him.
Yet, everything was as usual when she returned. They have never spoken about his visit and Brienne convinced herself that it didn't mean anything. She did everything she could to not allow him to get any closer, refusing him again and again when he asked her out for coffee or beer until he stopped doing that. It's no longer fun for him to play with me like this, Brienne had though then but now it felt completely wrong and unfair toward Jaime.
Now, as she was laying on her old couch and replaying all her memories involving him, Brienne couldn't get rid of a feeling that she could have gotten everything wrong.
"Blind stubborn woman. There could be so much more than dance. So much more."
Could she really misinterpret everything so bad?
Did she really reject him all those times?
She did, the answer was clear as the waters surrounding Tarth.
Blind, stubborn and stupid.
That who she was. An ugly woman, so engaged in her misery and self-pity that she didn't notice something happening right in front of her eyes. Something clear shining and golden. After years of mockery and ridicule, it was impossible to believe that someone could be interested in her for other reasons than making jokes of her. Any kindness had its price to be paid. Nothing was freely given. Even with Sansa and Margaery, Brienne knew deep down that the real reason for their friendship was the mutual usefulness, not the fondness of their characters and similarities between them. Girls were mostly interested in parties and socializing while trying to keep up with classes and exams and Brienne's priority was her studies while she longed to be recognized and accepted by the others.
Good deal for both sides. That was how their friendship had worked and Brienne was more than sure that it would be over the moment their mutual usefulness disappears.
It had never been like this with Jaime. Yes, they were bound by their studies and shared projects they were highly encouraged to do together but everything else had never felt like a deal. If it was, then it was the worst deal Jaime could ever make for himself. Every act of his kindness towards her was met with mistrust and his efforts to get her company with rejection.
I was behaving like a... bitch, even in her thoughts Brienne cringed at the word. I accepted everything he had to give but gave nothing in return. Nothing except for rejection. Trying to save myself from a heartbreak I unconsciously did this to him.
The realization together with the image of the hurt on Jaime's face hit Brienne with a cold blow straight into her heart.
She looked at the clock on a wall. It was almost nine. At one o'clock the latest, she needed to leave her apartment to catch a bus to the Storm's End and then a ferry to Tarth. But maybe there was still enough time to make everything right.
Brienne reached for her phone and ignoring tons of messages from Sansa and Margaery which probably demanded more details about their night, Brienne opened her conversation with Jaime. It was full of messages, emojis, memes, pictures and links from Jaime. And there were curt replies. From her.
Brienne started to type but nothing sounded right. Not after the complete disaster of the most wonderful night in her life.
After half an hour of trying, Brienne finally managed to compose a short text which didn't make her utterly pathetic. She clicked send before she started second-guessing her decision.
In an attempt to calm her breathing and wildly beating heart, Brienne took a shower, changed her clothes, ate a small breakfast and packed all her remaining stuff. She couldn't focus on anything. Even the smallest noise made her look in the direction of her phone, hoping it was a reply from Jaime.
But her phone was silent.
It's alright, Brienne tried to tell herself as she watched clock hands inexorably reaching one o'clock. He doesn't have to reply, especially not after yesterday.
All too soon it was one. Brienne's heart sank. She couldn't wait any longer if she wanted to make it home today. Jaime didn't answer, it was fine. She got up from a couch and took all her luggage. Without a second glance, she left the apartment.
Luck was not on Brienne's side today. She reached the lift only to discover that it was broken again. Not having any other way, with a huge suitcase in her hands, heavy backpack on her back and laptop bag on her shoulder, she took the staircase. Sweating and panting Brienne finally reached the street when she heard the vibrations of her phone.
With a beating heart, she looked on the screen. Message from Jaime.
It was short.
"When and where?"
"Park lake in an hour," Brienne replied immediately and cursing his timing and herself for bringing so much stuff together with her, she started to bring everything back on the fourth floor to her apartment. She was red and sweaty when she finally reached the door but there was little time to make herself look more presentable. Not wanting to be late, Brienne quickly changed her wet shirt and washed her face.
Almost an hour later she appeared at the designated place. She stood at the edge of a lake, mindlessly staring at a single leaf falling down and graciously landing on a smooth water surface, reflecting the blueness of a sky and a fluffiness of white clouds. It took everything in her to stand still. With deep breaths, she tried to somehow calm down her nerves.
Brienne hasn't decided yet what she should say to him. She was so occupied with the idea of making everything right that she didn't think what the right words would be. But maybe I won't have to say anything if Jaime refuses to come.
As if summoned by her thoughts, she heard the crackling of pebbles under someone's feet. Brienne turned her head to see Jaime in his tightly fit black t-shirt and with slightly damp golden locks.
Without a word, Jaime stood opposite to her and crossed his arms on his chest. The stern look on his face made her feel utterly stupid and ridiculous. What was she thinking when she decided to bring him here?
"Jaime…"
"Brienne."
The silence was tense and heavy. Brienne was struggling to find words. Everything she wanted to tell him now, with him staring at her with a sharp expression in his eyes, sounded dumb and heartless.
"I believed you would be on your way home by now," Jaime said, his voices sounding flat and indifferent.
"Yes, that originally was my plan."
"Pity you didn't stick to it."
Despite being prepared for such a reaction, Brienne felt a little sting in her heart.
"I just thought…" that I could make everything right. But what did it mean? Apologizing? Telling him how much he meant for her? Saying she's sorry she's hurt him?
"Keep your thoughts for yourself. Why would I care what's going on under the thick skull of yours?"
"You came here."
Jaime let out a bitter laugh.
"That I did. I've been following you for years. It's hard to kill old habits I guess."
Brienne found herself nodding at that. Old habits that made her always dismiss and question every nice gesture and every kind word directed to her. The old habit of telling herself she was unworthy of friendship and love. And maybe she was. But not because of the ugliness of her face and body as she has always thought.
How could you be a friend with someone who never opens up to you? How could you love someone who stubbornly refuses to see you as a person worth their trust? How would you want to be with someone who constantly rejects and hurts you while keeping their own feelings buried deep down inside?
"Did you call me all the way here just to stare at me? If I knew I wouldn't bother. A picture would do."
"Unfortunately, your picture won't hear anything I have to say."
"So you do want to speak."
"Yes, what else did you expect?"
Jaime just shrugged, not looking at her. Feeling she won't get any other encouragement from him, Brienne took a deep breath before continuing.
"About yesterday… I made a mistake..."
"Seriously, Tarth? It was just a stupid dance and you make it sound like we fucked."
Brienne felt the heat rising in her cheeks.
"It meant a lot to me."
"If you say so."
"Why did you come here if you don't want to hear me out?"
"Honestly? I don't know," Jaime's attention was focused entirely on the pebbles under his feet. "Probably I hate myself too much."
Brienne had no idea how she should reply to this. The quiet dismissiveness in his voice was like cold water thrown over her head. It was clear that Jaime didn't believe her. Was she too late?
"I'm sorry, Jaime," Brienne said, begging him silently to look at her. To believe her.
"For what?"
His face was impassive and he still refused to meet her eyes.
"Being blind and stupid. For not seeing..."
"Don't."
Now his eyes were cutting through her like green lasers.
"I don't blame you. We don't get to choose."
Who we love. Brienne had already heard him saying this. It was her second week as a student when she decided to make a little trip around the campus to get familiar with the location. The evening was settling in, making most of the people go which Brienne was glad of.
She was passing between students' dormitories when she heard a dull sound of something hitting the wall and a muffled groan. Looking around she saw a man sitting on the ground with his back against the stone wall. Brienne was about to pass by and leave but something in his posture made her stop. His whole body was shuddering with his head hung down between his shoulders.
She tentatively made a step closer.
"Are you alright?" Brienne found herself asking.
The man raised his head and a pair of green eyes shone in settling darkness, roaming over her posture.
"Gods, are you a woman?"
"As you can see."
"A rather sore experience for my poor eyes."
"They are still better than your hand," Brienne replied, trying to sound unimpressed. Constant comments concerning her looks weren't new, however, being used to them didn't make them less painful.
"Why do you care about my fucking hand?"
"It's bleeding," she pointed on a dark stain on a sleeve of his shirt.
"So what? I can bleed if it pleases me."
Brienne let out a deep sigh. Why was she bothering with this stranger?
"Suit yourself but I think you should take care of it before it gets worse and the infection…"
"Fine," he cut her off. "I don't need a lecture from you. Do you have anything to wrap around it?"
"Yes," Brienne reached for her bag. She had some tissues and water inside.
She crouched down beside him and carefully helped him to tend the cut which luckily didn't appear to be very deep.
"Whatever it was that upset you, it's not worth causing harm to yourself." Brienne didn't know why she had said that but the moment the words left her mouth, she desperately wished to take them back.
Bright green eyes scanned her face.
"Do you know anything about love? Looking at you, I suppose not."
Brienne felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment. His meaning was clear. No one had ever loved her.
"Just as I thought," he said when she didn't come up with any reply. "You know nothing."
"Maybe I do not but at least it's not me lying on the ground with a bleeding hand."
"Oh, that's the look. Come on. Feel that superiority over the fool who devoted himself to a Stranger with a Maiden's face."
He let out a short bitter laugh.
"We don't get to choose who we love."
The blow of a colder wind pulled her out from a memory. The bright blue sky was almost entirely covered in thick clouds. Brienne watched as Jaime unclenched his right fist. Was he also remembering their first meeting?
"You told me once that I know nothing about love," Brienne said after a moment of silence. "You were right. I didn't. Hurt and rejection were my only experience. Every time I felt something more, my feelings were shoved back to my face and mocked. After a time, you learn how to hide everything. How to distance yourself from everyone. You question every action done to you and then you convince yourself that it doesn't mean anything… And then, you become so obsessed with safeguarding your feelings that you forget that other people also have them... And eventually, you end up hurting them… I didn't realize that until… until this morning and I couldn't leave without telling you that… that I…" loved you all this time "how very sorry I am for inflicting all of this on you. You… you deserve so much better…"
That's it. Despite the trembling of her voice, she somehow managed to tell him this. Jaime listened without any attempt to interrupt her. Now he was staring at Brienne and it took everything in her to not lower her gaze.
Jaime was so close to her and all she wanted was to remember this fleeting moment of sunshine reflecting in Jaime's golden hair as the small drops of rain started falling on them. Their eyes were locked together and it was then when she understood it all.
Whatever Jaime says, she will accept it. Even if another rejection awaited her, Brienne knew she would treasure this memory forever. The memory of her defeating her worst fears, fighting for her love. There was no shame in losing it. Even hurt and defeated, the knowledge that she tried will always be with her. Not bitter regrets of hiding and doing nothing. Not anymore.
Time was flowing as they kept staring at each other. The light shower must have slowly turned in warm summer rain because her face suddenly was wet. Or were those her tears?
Brienne didn't have time to wonder about this because Jaime took a final step in her direction, cupping her face in his hands.
"Don't," he said, brushing droplets of water mixed with tears with his thumbs.
"Jaime… I…"
"Brienne…"
And then she was in his arms, tightly pressed to his chest. Jaime's hand was gently caressing her hair, making her whole body tremble. Nothing has ever felt so good and so right when Brienne tentatively let herself wrap her arms around him.
She had no idea how long they were standing there but when they finally broke their embrace, they both were wet, with their clothes and hair tightly clinging to their bodies.
"Let's go," Jaime said, reaching for her hand. "Standing in the rain is not even remotely as romantic as they show it in your favourites movies."
"I do not watch romances," Brienne said, trying to sound indignant at his presumption.
"Oh, you love them," Jaime said with a smirk on his face.
Brienne rolled her eyes in response to that.
"Where are you taking me?"
"You'll see."
Soon they appeared at the door of Jaime's apartment.
"I'm not sure it's a good idea," Brienne faltered.
"Do you have any other place in mind? We could go to yours if you prefer so."
"No, better not. Everything is already packed and it's just empty."
Without other words, they stepped in. The interior was everything she imagined it would be- spacious and modern. Every piece of furniture was screaming about luxury and comfort, so unlike her small flat.
"I hope it suits you," Jaime smiled brightly as he handed her a towel and oversized t-shirt and shorts for change but when she came back from a bathroom a few moments later, his smile dropped from his face at the sight of her.
"I'm not sure it fits but…" Brienne started embarrassed, not knowing what to say.
"You're fine," Jaime said, not quite looking at her. "Come here."
Brienne sat on the couch and seconds later she felt him taking place right next to her.
"What now, Jaime?" she asked, putting her hands together on her lap to prevent them from shaking.
"There is one thing I've wanted to do for so long," Jaime said, coming closer to her. "May I?"
His hand gently tucked a single strand of hair behind her ear.
"You may," Brienne whispered. Her whole body was trembling in anticipation of what was going to happen.
"Are you cold?"
His face was so close to hers that she could feel his warm breath on her cheek.
"No."
"Good."
And then Jaime closed the distance between them and kissed her. Brienne sat frozen, not sure what to do with her hands and her mouth. The first touch of his lips on hers was nothing like she had imagined it before. His lips were so soft and firm at the same time as they lightly brushed against hers, encouraging her to respond. When she finally came to her senses and started mimicking his movements, the kiss suddenly stopped.
Brienne raised her eyes at him to see a smug smile on Jaime's face.
"Was it your first?"
She nodded, not able to find her voice. Was it so obvious? Am I doing it wrong?
Before she could linger at those questions, his lips were on hers again. He was still gentle but more insistent this time. Merely seconds were enough for Brienne to catch the rhythm and start responding with all eagerness and passion that for years was gathering in her heart and her body. She could feel one of his hands sneaking into her hair while the other came to her neck guiding her face as Jaime deepened the kiss. His tongue slid against her lips begging her for access which immediately was given to him. They met and every brush of their tongues evoked a burning fire in her core she has never felt so intensively before. Her hands somehow found their way into his hair and all over his body.
Without breaking a kiss, they leaned back on a couch with Jaime's body slightly hovering over her own.
"Jaime…" Brienne breathed when his lips turned to her neck.
He only hummed in response and she let herself be consumed by passion.
"It's time for me to go."
"Stay."
"I can't."
"You don't want to?"
"I do but my stuff is left…"
"Fuck the stuff. Everything you need is here."
"I have tickets booked for tomorrow morning."
"You could rebook them again. Or just cancel them."
"I can't. Father might notice I haven't returned. And I promised to visit him."
"When will you be back?"
They were cuddled together on the couch after the whole afternoon of kissing with a little break for ordering food and actual eating. It was getting dark outside but none of them bothered to stand up and turn the lights on. Leaving Jaime's arm was the last thing Brienne wanted to do but she also knew she had to return to her flat soon. Her bus was scheduled to leave tomorrow in the morning and she couldn't postpone her journey to Tarth anymore.
Brienne sighed.
"I won't."
She was met with silence. Jaime's hand that was playing with her hair suddenly stilled.
"Did you mean it to be only for one evening?" he said in a strained voice.
"I didn't mean it to be anything," Brienne replied without hesitation.
Jaime jerked away and only then it hit her how her words must have sounded to him.
"Wait, it's not what you think. I just mean... When I was sending you the message, I didn't expect that we would end up here. I just wanted to make everything right."
"How did you plan to do it if not by kissing me?"
"I thought you were angry at me."
"I was," Jaime admitted as his hand took hers again. "But still, I wanted to kiss you. When you think about it it's a miracle, I didn't do it the moment you asked me for a dance. You were magnificent at that moment."
"Good that you didn't. I'm quite certain we wouldn't get to the dancefloor in that case."
"Seriously?" Jaime chuckled, "you prefer dancing over kissing? I think I know what to do to change your mind."
Without waiting for her response, Jaime found her lips again and started kissing her with a revived passion to which Brienne eagerly responded.
When they broke a kiss to catch a breath, Brienne somehow found herself pinned under Jaime's body with one of his hands on her cheek and the other caressing her bare tight, causing goosebumps all over her freckled skin.
"So? Did I manage to convince you?"
"You might have," Brienne smiled, raking her fingers through his silky hair.
"Not so eager to leave now?"
"I have to," her words fell heavily into sudden silence.
Brienne saw Jaime nodding in the darkness.
"I understand," he finally said. "But you still didn't tell me when you will be back."
Brienne sighed. She didn't get the chance to tell him the whole truth.
"I didn't plan to return to Kings Landing. I was going to spend two weeks on Tarth and then go directly to Pentos. I got a position there."
"So congratulations are in order," Jaime said but Brienne could hear the resigned edge to his voice.
"Jaime…"
"For how long?"
"At least a year."
"A year?"
When said like this it sounds more like an eternity.
"I haven't signed the contract yet so maybe there is…"
Jaime let out a deep sigh, bringing both of his hands to her face.
"No. I wouldn't want you to miss such an opportunity because you think you owe me something. It's only a year. You'll come back after that, right?"
"I don't know. I haven't thought about this yet."
His hands were gently stroking the sides of her face. It was dark but Brienne could see his features so beautifully accentuated in a dim moonlight coming through the wide window.
"Pentos is not so far away. We'll see each other, I'll visit you there and maybe I'll convince my father of the importance of keeping good relations with the other side of the Narrow Sea," Jaime said, kissing both her cheeks.
It was still so new. Being held, being touched, being kissed. Brienne couldn't comprehend how she lived so many years without it. How will she live without it? But it wasn't that question that was occupying her mind at that moment. It was the implication of Jaime's words that made her heart beat faster.
"Do you… do you intend to wait?" For me was left hanging in the air.
"Do you not intend to return?" he countered.
There could only be one answer to that question and Brienne gave it to him in the most passionate kiss.
"It's decided then," Jaime smiled against her lips.
"But how about…"
She was silenced by his lips.
"Let's talk later," Jaime murmured between kisses. "We'll figure everything out. Just stay with me…"
"Jaime…" his name came out closer to a moan than pretended disapproval it was meant to be.
"For tonight. Stay."
Brienne looked into his eyes and the expression she saw in them made all her resolve crumble into the dust.
She didn't want to leave. She never wanted to leave. But only now she realized she didn't have to refuse and reject Jaime again.
She could feel safe with him and she desperately wanted him to feel the same while being with her.
"I'll stay," Brienne whispered, pouring all her heart into those simple words.
