Chapter 3
With a sigh of relief, the fight was over; while Bundles and Cranberry looked for Blitzen in the woods, Holly walks towards the creatures pulling her arrows out of them and cleaned them up before putting them away, Chutney comes over to the fiend and takes a look over with Holly, what they found... was a little disturbing so she leaves him to the fiend as he takes hold of the hentai stick giving it a few swings while Nutmeg checked the dead and found pretty much nothing.
Klaus takes off his 'Killing gloves' and puts them away in his pockets while Chutney seems a bit too overjoyed with his new weapon but to each, their own Holly thought looking away.
Walking over to the sleigh as Cranberry and Nutmeg were trying to flip the sleigh... and failing miserably. Holly and Arty look over the tracks that were leading into the woods, the memory of the basin-like thing running off in that direction makes her believe that this is the creature that took Lord Santa.
"Santa has some magic when he lifts that, usually." Bundles says to Cranberry as if trying to make them feel better about not lifting up the sleigh.
"I can't find a fucking thing on the witch." Klaus calls out. "She got worms!"
Holly scrunches her nose. "That... for some reason is grosser than the severed dick Chutney found for some reason."
Arty gives a cringe in disgust and confusion. "That is gnarly."
"Everyone okay?" Klaus calls to everyone. "We need some rest or are we going back out there? Cause it's fucking cold and we got a missing fat man."
Everyone got quiet as a few minutes have passed and all the craziness has happened, Holly still couldn't believe it was happening. Santa Clause is nowhere to be seen, there are three corpses steaming in the snow in front of the workshop there were just in.
"Gotta find Santa." Cranberry voices to everyone.
"We should probably leave a note for Bigsby when he comes back." Klaus says to Holly who nods and makes her way to the workshop to get some paper.
"Well, hold on now, let's just think about this." Chutney speaks up making everyone freeze what they were doing and look at the elder in confusion and shock. "Santa's out, the position of power is open, we could fill it and rule Christmas ourselves."
Ellory gasps in horror while everyone else just stares at the old elf.
Klaus frowns and takes a step towards him. "Chutney, I gave my word to that man to protect this pole and the sanctity of what all you guys have been enjoying here in safety for a while-"
"Hold on for just a minute, though." Nutmeg cuts in. "He's onto something, always been a big fan of Chutney, someone's gotta take his place someday."
"Alright, Chutney, I'll tell you what, how about this." Klaus begins in amusement. "Since apparently, our strongest can't lift the fuckin' bag to do Christmas, you go do it. Show us that you're a better leader than Santa, huh? Go, lift the bag! I mean, if you wanna take over, you gotta be able to left your presents and deliver them to all the kids, right? Lift up the fuckin' bag!"
"Alright, all right, all right!" Chutney makes his way gingerly to the Christmas bag. "I ain't scared, but these hips ain't what they used to be, but, I'll try!"
"Are you lot fucking serious right now?" Holly asks watching this as Arty beside her pulls out his phone and is recording this on the sly.
With a shake of her head, she goes into the workshop to write a note to Bigsby and Mrs. Claus, also adding a warning about Chutney in case something happens and only Chutney returned.
"And a one." Chutney grunts gripping the bag tightly in his hands as he gets himself ready. "and a two and a-"
Everyone watches as his little legs shake and low and behold.
"It's a new world order, motherfucker!" Chutney cries out in victory.
Klaus's look of confidence fades for a second before he shrugs. "Fair play old man fair play."
Chutney grunts as he puts the bag back down. "Tell you what, how about I'll just run the shop and we'll hold auditions for Santa, okay?"
"I would like to actually find Santa, and not be looking for a replacement!" Ellory squeaks in protest frowning at them. "This is my very first Christmas and I really want it to be happy and merry and you're all doing different things other than that, and I think we have to find Santa because I am scared; he's my divine presence."
"And the last time I fucking checked." Holly speaks up coming out of the shop, glaring at the lot of them. "Santa ain't dead, so even if you wanted to take over not a single fucking elf or thing in this town would ever listen to either of you!
Arty stares at Holly is surprised, he has never heard Holly speak in that tone of voice before... it was a pretty freak in hot thing to see.
"I think they are both right." Cranberry agrees.
"Yeah and I think you are forgetting, Mrs. Claus is not dead, she's still around, like Holly said if you try and take up the mantle, she's probably gonna turn all the other elves who are still not dead against us"
"Not if we get to her first." Klaus says.
Holly is not believing what she is hearing right now! Without another second thought, she takes out an arrow and shoots a warning shot in between Klaus's legs making everyone stop talking and look over at the now severely pissed off Holly Snowflake who was now aiming with her Hail of thorns directly at them.
"Touch Mrs. Claus, and we will see how far you crawl in the snow old man." she growls.
Rolls for Intimidation: 16 +4 =20! holy shit!
Everyone is wide-eyed as they take a step back away from her, never seeing this side of goody-two-shoes Holly like this before.
"Okay okay, I meant nothing by it Snowflake." Klaus appeals to the girl putting up his hands in surrender.
Ellory, even though she would like nothing more than to cheer for Holly she was looking at the track on the ground that Arty and Holly were looking at before.
"What you looking at?" Arty asks getting everyone's attention away from Holly.
"You guys, I can see right beyond the sleigh there are these claw marks, and they're going off into the woods." Ellory informs them. "Bundles have you seen tracks like these before?"
"Ah, no I am more the hoofed variety than those but I could hitch up the sleigh if we wanted to go by that than by foot." he says.
Holly gives one more glare to Nutmeg, Klaus, and Chutney before undoing her spell and putting away her arrow before walking over to Ellory and Arty.
"Wait." Arty puts up a hand looking excited. "Are we talking about stealing the old man's car?"
"No, we are going to bring it to him!" Ellory corrects him.
He just grins. "Whatever you got to tell yourself. I'm into this!"
Cranberry grins in amusement, walking back to the sleigh. "We just all need to lift it a little bit more."
"Yep, yep, I'm on it, yep!" He says excitedly as he rushes over to the sleigh.
"Of all the things to get excited and enthused over, it had to be riding Santa's sleigh." Holly snorts shaking her head as she joins in helping.
Arty grins at Holly who is now beside him. "Hey, when can we ever say we drove Santa Claus's sleigh? What like we're about Chutney's age? Come on."
"Tell you what." Chutney speaks up again wincing a bit Holly narrows her eyes at him. "We're so far behind on production, okay? We give him 24 hours and then he's dead."
Everyone grew silent staring at him.
"We follow the tracks ya?" he adds looking at said tracks.
"I like following the tracks more than your plan." Ellory talks back, frowning at her senior before standing beside Holly.
"Let's get a couple of people over!" Arty calls over the others. "On the count of three!"
And with all of them together they were able to to right the sleigh up to its normal position as Bundles goes to harness Blitzen to the sleigh. Klaus, feeling a little uncomfortable with Holly glaring at him and the other two went over to look over the area since he hunted the perimeter of the facility and the forest nearby. He kneels down to look at the tracks, takes the snow, tastes it, and then spits out in disgust.
"I made a terrible mistake tasting that snow." He tells the other elves. "I've learned not to taste the snow around these tracks. So, let that wisdom sink in, let's get on this sleigh and see if we can find the fat man."
"What did it taste like?" Nutmeg inquires as Klaus steps near her.
Leaning over so the others do not hear. "Tasted like poop."
Nutmeg blinks. "Are we fighting a monster of poop?"
Holly shakes her head, getting in the sleigh beside a very excited Arty. "I highly doubt it is a poop monster but after seeing these guys maybe just a very gross, nasty individual exists."
"Don't freak out the rest of the elves they spent a week of that back at the shop." He says to Nutmeg. "So we're trying to step away."
"I just don't know about this." Nutmeg mutters looking from the bodies on the ground to back to the sleigh.
"No it actually makes sense, gets in the water supply." Cranberry explains the situation with the other elves and Mrs. Claus.
"I understand what you are saying, but um excuse me, I was just wondering, have any of the elves that we know who's been like super, super sick and like throwing up and pooping and stuff, maybe, like, is that like a similar poop?" Ellory inquires.
Everyone turns their head from Klaus and back to Ellory; Bundles rubbed at the bridge of his nose, Chutney was halfway asleep, Holly and Arty were looking on in bemusement while Nutmeg and Klaus were not looking too impressed.
Ellory sees the looks and shrugs. "I'm just wondering like is everybody sick? Is it all connected? I don't know, but there's a lot of really bad stuff happening at once, and in all of my journals and my studying of the workshop, none of this ever happened before. So I'm just wondering if maybe they're all connected."
"Yeah Klaus, tell us about your poop." Arty throws in leaning over and grinning at the frowning Klaus. "You know the taste of poop. How much poop did you lick? How does this compare to the other poop?"
Holly snorts, gently smacking Arty on his shoulder for his snark.
"Is it like the other poop that we saw other people pooping?" Ellory asks, completely missing the sarcasm that came from Arty.
"I can say, with utmost certainty." Klaus starts, snarling a bit at the giggling duo. "That my experience of not tasting of the other poop, no, I have no idea!"
"But we'll remember that as we make our journey forward." Bundles noted, adjusting his glasses before looking over to Chutney. "Oh no, we're losing Chut!"
The old elf was asleep standing up, snoring as a little drool slipped out of his mouth. Klaus walks over nudges him awake.
"Ah!" He exclaims, alarmed and looking ready to fight. "I'm good, let's rock!"
"On Blitzen, on Blitzen, on Blitzen, on Blitzen on Blitzen on Blitzen and Blitzen! Hyah" Bundles calls with a snap of his wrist.
Bundles starts driving sleigh and realizing Nutmeg, Klaus and Chutney hadn't got on start running to catch up to the sleigh and pull themselves up into it without further delay while the entire town of Christmastown is either pooping, puking, or both, the sound of jingle bells leaves off away from the compound through the snow.
Klaus gets off the sleigh and climbs over onto the back of Blitzen keeping an eye on the tracks as they flew through the air on their way to rescue Santa and save Christmas!
After winding their way over hills, down into gullies, watching these strange tracks scurry along, and eventually, an hour or so of traveling through these woods, the elves reach a large glade in the middle of the wintry forest. In all the empty space there is five trees standing alone in a ring on a small hill perfectly spaced, almost as if by design, Bundles stops the sleigh at the edge of the glade.
"Keep your eyes about you." Klaus warns the lot, patting Blitzen's neck before leaping off into the snow and putting on his gloves. "We're in no elf's land."
Everyone began getting out of the sleigh with Holly pulling out her bow and arrow, keeping an eye out as Klaus says. Cranberry looks at the odd ring of trees; they're conifers but they look from a distance the same as other trees except that they're so perfectly placed these five trees.
"Hmm." Cranberry rubs their beard in thought but decides not to comment about it.
Stealth Check:
Arty – (He doesn't say but from the smirk Taliesin gives I assume) 20
Ellory – 13
Cranberry – 19
Bundles – 16
Klaus – 20
Nutmeg – 20
Chutney – 17
Holly – 18
With Klaus and Arty at the front the elves almost like a little Roman troop, clump together, all this red and green quietly making their way to the ring and peer inside. Strangely, though they couldn't see this from their vantage point before, on the inside of these trees were doors, all in a different form; one door is a colorful egg with beautiful patterns on it, the next is the turkey, a shamrock, a heart, and of course the last is an orange pumpkin which is slightly ajar and the tracks lead right up to it.
"It's the fuckin' turkeys -"
"You know, I was making a joke earlier." Cranberry says interrupting Klaus. "About Halloweentown, but it turns out to be real."
"Halloweentown, right yeah that's it." Klaus shifts his focus from the turkey door to the pumpkin door. "Right, the door that's open, makes sense."
"Smooth Klaus." Holly snorts.
"Shut up." he snaps back.
As everyone passes around field rations and Nutmeg takes out her candy-cane flavored cigarette, Arty pulls out his kids' toolbox from his belt and makes his way to the pumpkin door, looking for traps. Dropping to the ground in almost a plank position, flexing his abs as he can feel Holly watching him as he sees no signs of any traps and was about to start on unlocking the door but remembers that the door is ajar.
Quickly to his feet, he puts away his tools and nonchalantly says to Holly and the group. "I opened it, wasn't a problem."
Holly holds back a chuckle while Chutney looks impressed. "Damn, he's proven useful... what about the green door? I hear the marijuana problem is very severe with kids these days."
"It's a real problem." Cranberry agrees.
"Cannabis is the name!" Chutney says upon thinking about the name it was being called now these days.
"That's kind of like magic." Ellory comments, writing in her journal.
"I like hi-jinks as much as the next fella, but I think we need to go find Santa." Bundles proclaims. "Come on guys I mean he's our boss."
"Right Bundlesmear is right, get behind me, I'll take the lead." Klaus interjects, taking out his swords.
"Oh, that is reassuring," Holly mutters taking the back of the group ignoring Klaus's glare.
"I almost had it to there with your attitude missy, leave that for our enemies." He scolds.
"Whatever." she replies.
"Hey." Arty pokes Holly. "What is going on? Usually, that is my line."
Holly sighs. "I know I just, after that whole thing with leaving Santa to his demise and making that comment about Mrs. Claus. I-"
"I know." he says quietly. "It unsettled me a bit too, especially since he is supposed to be head of security and all that. However I do not think the old man would want you turning into the Grinch and I know that he is alright I mean come on, he's Santa Claus Holly."
Arty puts his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them with his thumbs in comfort as he looks into her chocolate brown eyes. "You didn't hear it from me, but we got to believe everything will turn out alright so, get back to being the goody two-shoed badass that you are, and let's go."
She grins, putting a hand over one of his wrists, and nods. "Okay."
"Okay, alright let's go!" He tells the others who were trying their best to not listen in on the conversation while Ellory was bloody glowing in excitement as she wrote vigorously into her journal that only Santa Claus knew what about.
So the lot walk forward all clumped together, all behind Klaus as he opens the door they are hit with a wave and can feel the backs of their heads being tugged almost magnetically through the front of their skulls, and all the elves get sucked into the doorway!
Spinning, spiraling, black and orange swirls spin around the elves, twirling them through space. Holly felt herself getting dizzier and dizzier as Arty reaches over and grabs Holly while everyone else flies around them.
Giant skulls, pumpkins, and bats float by and suddenly darkness.
Take a break everyone, get your food and drinks while you are at it!
