This one is a shortie. I figure we could all use a breather, after that last chapter.

So, to recap the last four books, as well as this one thus far...

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Chapter 9: Explanations

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Distantly, their voices muffled by deep sleep, Star could hear her parents calling her name. She would have known their voices anywhere; and though they seemed far away, their words were gentle and clear as day. Calling her to wake. Asking if she was alright. Did she hear a note of concern? She wondered why, and dimly reasoned that the pounding in her head had something to do with it.

They were asking her to open her eyes, to say something; but the sleep she was waking from had been deep and delicious, and her dreams had been incredible. Unwilling to open her eyes and finish waking just yet, she smiled faintly and just enjoyed feeling the presence of her mother and father nearby. After all she had dreamed, it was nice to feel them both beside her at the same time, the way it should always be.

"Mum, papa," she sighed, "I had the craziest dream..."

She felt her mother's hand on her face, brushing her hair from her eyes. "Oh. Did you, now?"

Her voice was even clearer. Star's senses were slowly returning, and something suddenly seemed off. She was lying bed, but the sheets felt strange in her fingers. A familiar, sour smell of ash and smoke and stale mold was in the air. She knew these sensations, but couldn't think from where. Perhaps she was in her father's study, full of ancient texts, with sitting cushions on the floor, and he was burning incense.

"Mum, you and I went to the Zebak lands, and we started a war," she murmured, smirking at how ridiculous it sounded. "We freed so many people, and I made all these good friends, and I fell in love with the most handsome boy... It was amazing..."

Her father hummed quietly beside her, holding her hand firmly in his own. "That does sound amazing, my Small Star. And how... How did it end?"

She squeezed her eyes tight shut and made a face. "It didn't work. We were all caught. I think the city was destroyed. And the queen – the Titan – she wasn't a Titan at all. It was so scary... And it was so real... I..."

She was going to say that she was just glad that it had all been a dream, and that it was over now – but also that maybe her dream was a sign. That maybe the time had come to help the Zebak in real life, like her aunt and uncle had always wanted to. That maybe, in some ways, her dream had shown the future.

Instead, she opened her eyes at last, happy to see her parents as they really were, and a jolt of shock and confusion shook her heart.

Her mother's lovely face still bore the mark of the Zebak. Her father looked as though he had aged ten years, his face thin and his dark hair streaked with silver. The dim light around them, cast by colored glass lanterns, was hazy with smoke. Other voices nearby could be heard talking and weeping in thick accents and foreign tongues; elsewhere, she could hear them arguing.

She was not at all in her childhood home, safe and as she had always been. She was in the pirate's den, beneath Habaharan city, alive against every odd imaginable. It hadn't been a dream at all. It had been real.

Brought painfully back to reality, Star bolted upright in her nest of silken blankets, all of them feeling grimy with ash. Her pounding head felt strangely light, and she reached to grab for her hair, only to find her hands empty. All she found was a sticky, tangled mess, no longer than her shoulders. The remains of her ruined ball gown were covered in blood, and a deep gash on her arm had been bound in her sleep.

Staring at her hands in horrified bewilderment, she found that someone had wiped them clean; but there was still dark, dried blood under her fingernails, from her final encounter with the man she had hated most in all the world.

Too shocked to speak, she went on gazing at her hands, unable to believe they were her own. Not when they had killed a man so violently, no matter how he had deserved it. Bitterly, she wished that had been nothing more than a fantastic dream – even the many good things she had done, and all the wonders she had seen. Then, at least, she wouldn't be a murderer, and their crushing defeat wouldn't be filling her heart with pain.

Her parents held her close in her silence, at long last, and insisted that it was alright. That they understood. And her mother promised that her worst fear – of having to explain herself to her family and hoping they would forgive her – would not have to be realized. She had already told them everything.

Everything.

In the hours Star had slept, Zeel had introduced their family to Zamiel and his remaining men, and told them all about the rebellion. She had told them about the Crusaders and all the work they had done together. She had told them about Keids and the pirates, and all the reasons they were willing to help.

She had told them about Bhlai House, and how it came to be their home and headquarters. She had told them about Vivi and Zizi, and Evan, too. She had told them about the Arin, and the rest of their lost history.

She had told them about Star and Zan, and how they had grown, and how they had grown together. She had told them about Zared Azan, and why no one was sorry to have him gone.

She had told them of the ball – only the night before – and of how badly it had gone. She had told them just what kind of person Zadina the liar truly was. She had told them what had become of Zamiel's younger brothers, how they had died sacrificing themselves for others.

She had told them that Star no longer had the Earth sigil. That she had given it to Zan for safekeeping, because it had asked her to. That she had been doubtful, and torn over having it in the first place, but that she had been brave and done its bidding in spite of her fears. That it had been lost, carried beyond the city and out of the Dragon Lord's reach, and almost certainly saved because of it.

It was all a terribly long and awful story to have to tell. It began so promising, so full of potential and hope, and went on to go so well. It had seemed that the Zebak had stood a chance against their queen, after all. To have to end with such abysmal defeat and so much death was something Star was glad she would not have to do, after all. At the same time, though, she felt guilty that she hadn't been able to help her mother do it.

"It must have been such a burden," she sniffled, "having to explain it all alone."

"Not so much, actually," Zeel said in her frank way. "The real burden is one I've carried from the beginning: having to hold all this knowledge with no way to share it with our family, wondering if they would ever know it at all, fearing what might happen if they never learned of it. Its wearied me far more than even I had realized. Besides, I was far from alone. Forley helped a great deal in the telling."

It was like a ray of sunshine had beamed into her heart. In fact, she almost smiled. "Forley's alive?" she asked. "He's here?"

Her mother smiled warmly. "We all are. Everyone is here, and perfectly fine. A scratch or two, here and there, and Leah lost her lenses in our capture; but otherwise, our family is together again, and that is enough."

Then she glanced at her husband, sighed shortly, and stood up. "In fact," she went on, "they asked me to tell them straight away when you came around. I won't allow them to swarm you just now, but they deserve to know. I won't be long."

With that, she stalked away into the den; but Star suspected she would be very long, after all. Her mother was clearly putting herself out of the way. Star was now alone with her father, with so much to be said hanging in the air between them. The moment she had been dreading for years had come.

He deserved to be faced, she knew. But after all she had put him through and all she had cost him, she couldn't bear it. All she wanted was for him to go on holding her, like he had when she had been small, and to pretend that nothing really needed to be said.

"You've become quite the little warrior," he commented. "Everyone back home will be impressed, I think."

Finding her eyes filling with tears, Star only nodded vaguely in agreement. She could feel that if she began to speak, she would start blubbering like a frightened baby. Which, in truth, was what she felt like.

"None of them have ever had to fight in a war, of course," he went on, plainly trying to coax an answer from her. "I fear they won't understand at all what you've been through. But thank goodness, I suppose. No child should be put through any of this."

When she still refused to speak, he took her face in his hands tried to pull her gaze into his own. Tears were spilling down her cheeks, now, and looking at her father was somehow even more terrifying than it had been before. She wished she would evaporate, or disintegrate, or melt into a puddle and ooze away between the cracks in the floor.

"Star, look at me."

He was angry now. He must be. She was sure of it. Frightened at last into obedience, Star pulled the final bits of her courage together and looked her father in the eye. There was no anger there at all, though. Only concern, and regret, and an overwhelming love that nearly surprised her.

"I'm not angry with you, Star. I never was. I've been very proud of you from the beginning. You see, you've done something I never could: you listened to the deep magic in your heart, and you followed it. In spite of fears and doubts and loyalties, you trusted it and followed it to whatever end. You have nothing to apologize for, my dear. It is I who should apologize to you."

Star couldn't believe it. She blinked at him, wondering what on earth he was talking about. Her father smiled without humor, having clearly expecting the sensation he had caused, and took her shaking hands in his own.

"The day you returned from the trading trip, all that time ago... It was one of the worst days of my life. Not because of anything you did, but because of all the things I didn't do. I was given the signs, the answers I was seeking, and I disobeyed them all. I was told to let you go, to work wonders in your own way, as you've been destined to from the start; and what did I do instead? I closed my heart out of fear. I scolded you before all creation, when all you had done was speak the truth I was unwilling to face. I passed it off as fleeting feelings, knowing full well that you were right. Your tried to make me see reason, and I sent you to your room for it, like a wicked child who deserved to be punished. I've suffered terribly for it every day since. Not one hour has passed that I haven't longed to beg your forgiveness and set it right."

Star didn't doubt that. Half the world now knew that Rowan the hero was famous for harboring guilt over his mistakes, and even over things that weren't his fault at all. Part of that was from how he had grown up among people who had never really accepted him; but part of that was also just who he truly was inside. All he had ever wanted was to do his part well, and he had all the power to do so; and so, whenever he couldn't, whether by accident or simply because it wasn't the right season for it, he always blamed himself far more than he should.

Star, herself, had never been that way. Not until she had come to Habaharan, anyway, and found more and more responsibility balanced on her own shoulders. She hadn't understood how her father could be so hard on himself all the time, sometimes for things he had no control over. After the long night she had spent in that prison cell, beating herself for all the things she could have done better, she now understood very well. The father and daughter were now alike in more ways than ever before.

"I did try to set it right, that very day," Rowan went on sadly. "I was walking home, away from the village and all its fears and expectations, and I finally realized how wrong I had been to treat you that way. I thought a lot about it on that long walk. By the time I reached the front door, I had changed my mind completely. I had faced my greatest fear, of losing you forever. By then, I had decided to let you go, and in fact aid you in any way I could."

Her eyes went wide. "Were you, really?"

"I stood outside your bedroom door and babbled about it for ten minutes. I didn't blame you for not answering me, but I apologized, and spoke of plans and ideas I had come up with, and asked what thoughts you had about it. Then I opened the door and found you missing. Then we found your cousins all missing, and Unos missing, and the jailhouse empty. While I was wasting precious time, you had done what I no longer had the nerve to do. You had taken your destiny into your own hands, without waiting for fickle help to come along. While I stood around shaking in my boots, worrying over what other people would think, you were busy doing the right thing."

"But... But I took the sigil with me," Star protested, frowning. "I was stupid enough to forget I even had it! I stole it from you! And now I've lost it..."

"You did not steal it, and you know that. You're not stupid, either. In fact, if you had waited another hour for me to come home, I would have told you to take it."

"...Really?"

Rowan shrugged. "Not like it would have been used to any great purpose in Rin. No mountains need moving there. It's been... happier here, hasn't it? Stronger? Easier to speak to? And its lent you its power many times these last few years, hasn't it?"

Star gazed down at her fingers. In moments like these, she would have reached for the gold medallion and asked it for guidance and comfort, and she had grown confident that it would provide. It always had, for her. Without it, she felt lost, and very cold.

"I'm the only one in this land with any right to it, or any knowledge of its ways. I had always thought it was just making do as best it could."

Her father shook his head. "It was no coincidence that you had it, Star. I don't even know what I was thinking, taking it off and handing it to you; in truth, I didn't realize I had done it until it was far too late. Just the same as you weren't even thinking, forgetting about it and taking it with you."

"So, it was all meant to happen. The sigil was also determined to take control of its fate, one way or another."

"Well, there is the scale of a Dragon at its core. A wise Dragon, with the powers of foresight and invisibility at His command. The Lord of Earth is awfully good at getting what He wants, just like you and I. That is why His talisman has always been so fond of the two of us. Its why it wanted to come here, with you – it knew it could work that will through you, in ways it no longer could through me."

Star hummed over that, thinking all the way back to when it had first begun. "Granny said something like that, right before I went to Maris. That your part was beginning, but also ending. I didn't know what she meant, then... But I was also a very different person, that day. Younger, sillier, content with a small place in a small world."

"And certainly not so handy with a sword," her father agreed, settling himself in the blankets beside her. "We never bothered despairing over your training, but Annad was always so sure you could do better, if you only put your mind to it. She will be pleased with your progress."

"Wait... Is she here, too?"

"She chose to stay at Bhlai House, planning our next course of action. Your friend Vivi gave her all the maps she's made, and they've been enormously helpful. Here, see for yourself."

From his coat pocket, he pulled a familiar map and handed it to Star. A wave of memories came to her as she took it. The detailed map of the Central Dungeon, with its manholes circled and surrounded by exclamation points, would have been much more helpful the previous winter, when Zizi and Iris had needed rescuing from its depths. It was still creased all over from when Zan had snatched it, crushed it into a tight ball, and threw it at the nearest wall in frustration. He had grumbled then that he had been aiming for the second floor fireplace and missed, and the rest of the Crusaders had laughed over his irritation.

Her heart ached at the memory, his loss still so fresh and painful; but she had to smile at it. "I'm glad this map served a purpose, after all," she said quietly, passing it back. "So... Who all is left at Bhlai House?"

"Oh, let me think," he said, counting heads on his fingers. "Aside from Annad, Marlie and Shaaran also came with us. They had wanted to join us for the dungeon, but weren't sure how much help they could be there. Your friend Ofelia is with them, helping my sister make sense of all the maps; she was the one who found us and led us there, you know. And then there are the children – Vivi and Zizi... And your brother, of course..."

Star could tell his mind was still boggled by that discovery. She had been, too, when she had first learned how her mother was expecting another child; but since then, she had gotten used to it, and sometimes took it for granted that she had a brother at all. She had often wondered how her father would react, if he ever learned of it. She was nearly disappointed that she had missed seeing the look on his face when he had found out.

"Huh," he said, looking over the fingers he had counted. "I suppose that makes a nice, round seven, as well. I might have known. Nothing ever seems to happen in twos, or fives or sixes. I wonder what wonders that little party is working, just now?"

"Then Vivi is alive, too?" Star asked, her smile growing. "She had been planning a suicide mission, and mum said she had run off to do it during the ball. They were all sure we'd never see her again, and I heard that Forley was furious with her."

Rowan sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair. "She came back, alright, alive and well. I think you'll be happy to know, Forley just about fainted when he found out. He also said something about paddling her within an inch of her life when we get back. Turned into his mother for a minute, which was comical..."

Star peered at her father while he hesitated. Clearly, there was something big on the tip of his tongue, and he was trying t figure out how to say it.

"Was there something else?" she pressed. "Was she... Successful?"

"Phenomenally successful. She planned her mission well, and carried it out perfectly. Almost perfectly, anyway, she skinned her knees and elbows in her escape. A small price to pay, for stealing the Zebak's source of power from under it guardian's nose. And... There is something else, I just..."

He took a deep breath and gripped her shoulders. "I wish there was a more delicate way to put this, but there isn't, so I'll just say it. Zizi found the diadem. He put it on, and the talisman accepted him. Your small, unlikely friend is the new Titan of Fire."

"...What...?"

"I know, I know. All the rest of us are still trying to – even the rest of us Titans – its complicated. What you said before, about the queen not being a Titan, I suspect was only a wise guess on your part; but its true. What do you know about a being called the Shadow Lord?"

"Not much," Star answered slowly. "Only that he is a force of evil, and has a great deal to do with the land to to the south, and now, I suppose, a great deal to do with this land."

"I am afraid so, my Small Star. I've had my theories about it in the past; but when your Zizi suddenly appeared among us early yesterday morning, it explained everything. The Dragon Lords have never been Titans at all – the lot of them have secretly served the Shadow Lord for thousands of years, borrowing dark powers from him that look enough like Deep Magic to fool the rest of the world. I now suspect their many attempts to invade and destroy our land have been on his behalf."

It made sense, she supposed. And she had felt more and more since coming here that something was far from right. Something the whole world had always just assumed was being used to hide something much bigger. The rebellion had been enough to worry about, though, and so she had never bothered trying to find that bigger truth. Now it had been revealed, and was staring them all in the face.

"But Zizi?" she stammered. "He's only a little boy! He's not even ten years old, yet! Why would such a power choose him, of all people?"

"That is a good question," her father calmly agreed. "But why would it choose a shy, skinny little boy like me? Or a quiet, unconfident orphan like Doss of Pandellis? Things like age and outward appearance mean nothing to Deep Magic, Star. You know that – you, yourself, have written it very well. All it needs are the right hopes and desires, and the willingness to do what is right, no matter the cost. It found all those things in the rest of us. It found all those things in you. And now, it has found all those things in Zizi. You know the child well by now. Does it really surprise you?"

She thought about that for a long moment, and bowed her head in defeat. "No, I suppose not. It's just so much for such a small boy to carry. And you know what else comes with this magic, don't you? Zizi won't just be the Titan of Fire – he will be king! He will have to put this nation back together, somehow. These people will find themselves looking to a child to lead them. What if they refuse to accept this? It's all going to be so hard for him..."

Laughing lightly at her fretting, Rowan put his arm around her and pulled her closer. "Well, I doubt he will have to do all that by himself. No one expects grown people to lead others without help, not even the Rinf – that is, the Arin, I mean. Anyway, Zizi will at least have Zamiel and his men to guide him. And he will have his sister. And he will have you."

It took a moment for Star to really hear what he had said. Shocked yet again, she looked up at him with disbelief in her eyes.

"Yes, your mother told me about your changing plans, as well. When I really think on it, it was never danger or magic or evil sorcerers I feared losing you to. All those things, I always knew you would face with courage and overcome. It was the simple fact that Rin has always been like a cage to you, and that once you knew freedom, you could never be convinced to return."

"But I would," she blurted out. "If you asked me to, I would come home with you. I know its what our family will want. And Alanis has been fighting me over it for ages. Maybe I should... I don't know. It seemed so much easier, when I didn't have to tell you in person."

"I thank you for your honesty, but be honest with yourself, my darling girl. This city sits in ruin above us, in the clutches of of the most wretched force of our age, but it still holds more for you than Rin ever will. Here, you have a fantastic opportunity. You get to be the one to plant a seed, to tend to it, and help it to grow, and take pleasure in its progress. These people need that from you. And we both know, my people will never allow you to plant anything of your own at all, if they can help it."

Star huffed to herself. "I thought you always said that I'm perfect, just the way I am."

"And you are. You are a marvel in every way. Its just that the Zebak seem to understand and appreciate that, as I do. They wouldn't ask you to change one thing about yourself, would they?"

"No, they wouldn't," she agreed.

"And would your Zan have asked such a thing?"

"...No. Never."

"Well, then. It is clear as day to me that your place is here, as you know it is. To turn back from all that now would be an insult to everyone. And I won't watch my only daughter languish in a place that doesn't suit her. You wouldn't put me through that, would you?"

After all that had happened and all she had seen, it felt like a weight had been lifted away from her. Everything she had feared about facing her father had been totally pointless. She was so absurdly comforted, she finally smiled a real smile, and meant it all the way through.

"You've had a lot of time to think about this," she pointed out.

"You've given us all a lot of time to think," he answered. "You've been unconscious for nearly 13 hours, now."

Star couldn't help it. Her jaw fell open, and felt like it might hit the floor. "That long!?"

"Don't feel badly about that, Star. Obviously, you needed the rest. We all did. And it gave us the time to explain ourselves to each other, and to gather news so we can decide what to do next. Honestly, most of us have spent that time asleep, ourselves. Our hearts and minds have been just as battered as yours, dearest. The time you bought us has been a blessing."

"So," she sighed, "its almost time to go?"

"We can't hide in here forever. There is still much to be done, and only so much time to do in secret. That aside, our remaining seven have only heard from us through me and Zizi, and must be missing us. At least they know we are alive, and making plans of our own."

He reached over to the other side of the nest and picked up a worn basket, setting it in Star's lap. "All that said, lets have you in some clean clothes and ready for another fight. A young lady named Lucy mentioned you liked a tunic of hers a while back, and so she's offered you a few more of her things. Also, a man named Ash wanted me to give you this; he said you forgot it last time."

He passed her a sturdy knife, and she found that she knew it at once. The curved blade was set in a handle of smooth, polished jade, and fit nicely in her hand. It had been gladly offered to her on her first visit to the den, along with Lucy's tunic and a number of other things. She hadn't taken the knife that night, though; she had been borrowing Zan's short sword, and hadn't needed another weapon.

Today was very different. She added the knife to the basket, happy to have it, and promising herself that she wouldn't let let Ash's generosity be wasted.

That idea filled her heart with determination. So many people had given so much for this rebellion, and for her. They had done it because they had pinned all their hope on it. So much had been lost because of it. But the rebellion was not over yet. She was still alive. Some people still believed in them.

There was still hope. There was still a chance. And she refused to let so many sacrificed be made in vain. She was determined to repay them all.

The first real battle of a real war had been a shock. It hadn't happened like she or anyone else had ever pictured it. But it was over, and she now saw how much she had learned from it. The next battle was surely coming – and this time, she would be ready.