A/N: Halloo! It has been months since my last update and I'm hoping you guys are doing alright. I'm sorry I'm not able to update more frequently but I do hope you guys like this chapter! Never wanna keep these beginning ANs long so you guys can read away, so there will another AN on the bottom :)
The songs used in this chapter are:
For Blue Skies - Strays Don't Sleep
If I Could Fly - One Direction
Sitting here while Simon and Clary are getting their mics put on and they are SCREAMING Something Corporate's "Punk Rock Princess" at each other.
Apparently their post-rehearsal ritual is amazing.
WAIT. If you thought they were awesome before, they are beyond that because they are rocking out hard to "Un-Sweet Sixteen" by Wakefield.
I am in high school again. And it has never felt so good.
Alec, Isabelle, and Jonathan are getting their mics set up!
Too excited to have you guys in on this hang out. If you loved The Elite Four before, you will absolutely adore them after this live stream.
"Absolutely." That is absolutely from hanging out with two Brits the past two hours.
"C'MON BABY" BY WAKEFIELD. I FORGOT THIS SONG EXISTED.
And here we goooo. Tune in nOW.
*NOW. I'm a mess.
Clary sat down on the couch, which they all managed to fit on, and chuckled looking at her phone. "Sophia, your tweets are gold."
Sophia put her hands over her face. "It's embarrassing." She put her hands down to see the rest of them looking over her shoulder, including Jace. "This playlist is gold though. Do you listen to this every show?"
"Yup," Isabelle said, with a pop at the end. "Same playlist, every show."
"It's to pump us up," Alec informed.
"We know every word, every drum solo, every guitar solo. All of it," Jonathan added, leaning back on the couch between Isabelle and Clary while Alec and Simon sat on the arm rests. Dylan, Mari, and Dallas were sitting at a table across from them, watching the livestream on mute and occasionally looking over at them when they weren't reading comments, all while Jace awkwardly stood behind the couch waiting to get called for soundcheck.
"Yeah, every word," Jace muttered.
Simon looked up at him. "You're not even in the band."
Jace glared. "Well, that's a rude thing to say." He looked at the camera. "Fans, never talk to Simon Lewis, he'll simply tell you you aren't even in the band." He scoffed and Simon turned to the camera, shaking his head, mouthing no.
"Jace," Jordan called, peeking into the room. He whispered when he saw that the camera was rolling. "Sound check."
"Yeah, leave." Simon pointed out the door and Jace looked at the camera before putting a hand up and flipping Simon off behind it.
Isabelle smiled at the camera. "They've been like this all day."
Sophia giggled. "I can see that. Just like a family."
Jonathan sighed dramatically. "Just like a family."
Alec's eyebrows furrowed, and he looked down at him.
"I'm definitely going to need a copy of this playlist, because I'm in love with it," Sophia told them.
"Same here," Jake said from behind the camera.
"Definitely," Clary told her, smiling kindly, and then jumped a little when Sophia clapped her hands so hard it hurt Clary to hear it.
"Fall Out Boy?! 'Grand Theft Autumn'. Are you serious?" Sophia pointed toward the music. "This was my anthem for a whole year of high school."
"This is our best air instruments song!" Isabelle shared. "Do you wanna see it?"
"Um, YES." Sophia stood up, and Jake did the same. "Please, air instrument away."
"Such an unconventional interview." Jake sounded amused as Clary and Isabelle sat on the top of the couch to be the drums, Jonathan in the middle, while Alec and Simon switched spots to play their air bass and air guitar.
"Thanks, Dyl, " Isabelle said, and the camera panned to show him with an iPod in hand. Dylan awkwardly waved with a tight-lipped smile and the camera went back to the band. Dylan pressed play.
Immediately, Jon's eyes closed and he was singing the first verse.
When the instruments joined, everyone watching them in the room were staring in awe with amused smiles.
"This is really good," Jake commented, and was immediately hushed by Sophia.
"Don't interrupt this air-playing sacredness," she whispered.
"This is kind of amazing?" Dylan mumbled.
"Izzy and Clary are killing the air drums," Mari said.
"I am physically unable to look away," Dallas muttered.
At the end of the song, when Simon flawlessly air guitared the last part, he raised his fist and yelled, "Thank you, New York!" He looked at the camera. "I'd like to thank my mom for refusing to buy me a guitar at first and thus creating this air guitar genius."
Jonathan twisted the cap on his water bottle closed. "That really tired me out. Honestly." He leaned back into the couch. He winked. "We're The Elite Four. The best lip-synching, air-playing band you've ever seen."
"Well, that is for damn sure." Sophia sat back down in her chair. "I'm serious. That was amazing. Thank you for blessing us with that performance." Dylan turned down the music, and Sophia pointed at him. "Thank you. We would've never gotten through the interview part of this day without the amazing music." Sophia adjusted in her seat, making herself comfortable. "Okay, finally, the part people have been waiting for. Your fans have been requesting through thousands of calls, text, Facebook comments, tweets, hashtags—any form of social media, really, you name it—for some type of interview with you. And since your schedule is so hectic with these two tour dates, you've granted us this last minute insight into your pre-show life. So, please, tell us how you're doing right now."
"Thousands?" Clary mouthed slowly. "I can't get over the thousands."
"We are doing amazing," Simon answered. "Especially after hearing that. Living in New York, it's surreal for us to be doing anything for Z100."
"Yeah, seriously. I wake up with Elvis; I get ready with Elvis." Jon nodded.
"That's very intimate?" Isabelle looked over at Jon. "I mean, really intimate. Is Elvis aware of this?"
Everyone in the room laughed while Jon rolled his eyes. "But really, this is surreal for us."
"Were you guys aware that you had such a following after such a short time?" Jake asked from behind the camera. "How has it been for you guys?"
Alec looked down at Isabelle at his right side before responding, "Honestly, it's been quite a blur. An amazing, outrageous, dream-like blur. I think we've all just been trying to be in the moment and just enjoy—well, aside from Clary, because she's constantly thinking of schedules and what's coming up."
"Yeah, Clary doesn't even take deep breaths on show days until we've gotten on that stage." Simon smiled at his best friend.
"Yeah, but after those lights beam onto them, I'm in the moment. Definitely in the moment." Clary shrugged. "Alec's right." She looked at him before continuing. "I mean, we know about the surge of support we've gotten the past couple weeks. We can see it on social media, we can see in the new opportunities, and we can hear it every show when the crowd sings back the lyrics to the band. We just—we hear you. And we're overwhelmed with the fact that you support The Elite Four."
"Hell, we just can't over the fact that you've taken the time to listen to any of our songs." Jonathan added, and they all nodded.
"That's crazy that you guys are becoming one of the biggest acts around, and yet you're still adjusting to the fact that thousands of people rock out to you guys and love who you are." Sophia grinned towards them, and they looked back at her and at each other.
"I think we'd always wanna keep it that way?" Clary asked, and they nodded back at her. "We would never wanna take any of this for granted, because they just started out creating music to be a release. And I just went around the city trying to get more people—more people than all our neighbors, that is—to hear what they have to offer. How quickly this happened really contributes to that what is going on right now state of mind, but if Jace can keep a good head on his shoulder after his success, we definitely could too."
"Speaking of Jace, how did you guys get on this tour in the first place? Did it happen organically over dinner one night or…?"
They all looked at each other, and Alec spoke up, "It actually happened because Jordan, Jace's manager, went to our show in The Knitting Factory in Brooklyn—"
"The BK," Simon yelled in a deep voice. He cleared throat and apologized.
"Anyway," Alec muttered, "he loved our set, and Stephen, Jace's dad, went to the Morgenstern house that night and told us about the situation with the former opening act unable to do the US shows and just asked us, right then and there, if we would be willing to, and we all voted yes."
"That's crazy." Sophia shook her head. "So was touring not even an option for you guys before that offer?"
Clary leaned forward to look at Isabelle. "It actually wasn't." She gave a laugh. "Which seems insane after this. But yeah, we never really planned on it. We just knew that we got a hundred more people to the Knitting Factory and that was enough for us. And we said yes to the opportunity, but I don't think we even thought about what would happen after."
Isabelle nodded. "Yeah, I don't think we even thought about what happens when tour is over. We never even took into account what would happen when our two weeks were up with Jace." She shrugged. "That's probably dumb of us, but that's just where we were at."
Sophia shook her head. "No, that's not dumb at all. I think that's awesome. Jake and I have been with you for two hours and we can see you guys just kind of go with it. It's with this ease and natural organization. It's so different to see. It's inspiring, because you can see the genuineness of it all."
"Well." Clary looked at her brother, who glanced at her. "I feel like since we started writing songs and they started playing the music, we've just been trying to stay true to ourselves, and each other, and what we love." Clary exhaled. "We're trying every day to be better as a band, or a manager, or just as people. And we just want to be happy with the way we're living, you know?"
Sophia and Jake nodded, and Jake scoffed. "I'm all nodding along with the camera. Sorry to whoever is watching."
They all laughed, and Sophia followed up with, "How is life when living on tour? You guys are together all the time. How does that feel like? Even though I can tell you guys see one another probably every day."
"We do, we definitely can't live without each other. It's sickening," Alec mumbled the last part, and they all laughed.
"It's interesting. On one hand, it's amazing to spend all this quality time together. Honestly, it's all we need in life, just being together makes us so happy. Like Alec said, it's sickening. It wasn't a lie," Isabelle explained. "But it can be a bit...claustrophobic to not have some personal space sometimes? Except for Clary, because she's so small and her tiny ass bunk is fine for her." Clary glared. "But yeah, two weeks can feel like—"
"Two years," Simon interrupted, and they all turned to him dramatically.
"Whoaa, two years?!" Jonathan exclaimed, finally speaking up. He looked forward. "That really says a lot about the way Simon views our company."
"Two years," Alec mumbled, shaking his head.
"Okay, okay." Simon put his hands up. "Two years is too much, I take it back."
"No, we'll remember that," Clary told him.
"Yeah," Isabelle chimed in. "We'll all remember that." She stared him and he shifted in his seat.
"Other than two weeks feeling like two years..." Sophia joked, and Simon frowned.
"Noo, Sophia. Not you, too."
Sophia laughed. "Just kidding, Simon. Other than that, though, what are some downfalls to being on tour or fame? People always see the great sides to it, but are they any negative aspects that come along with it?"
Clary hooked her bottom lip with her teeth and instinctively looked over at her brother, as he did the same with her.
He sat up and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "Yeah, definitely. I feel like we haven't experienced this firsthand, but we know Jace can have issues with lack of privacy." He held his hands together and took a deep breath. "It's no secret what my and Clary's past is with Jace when we were all kids, but I feel like that would just be a perfect example. That, um, things can kind of get messy and out of hand." He gulped and looked at his sister. "I think that's why we've always based so much of our everyday life on being better people, especially as of recent days, because…" Jonathan looked up at Clary, whose gaze was on the floor now. "It's just easy to get lost in this life, where you're living your life in front of people, no matter what you do—whether it's being in a band, singing, acting, writing, anything—but it's just important that you remember what everything was before that. Or what everything was when you were genuinely happy. None of that bullshit happiness, that temporary happiness that you get on false pretenses. Just focus on what is genuine and real, and have people that aren't afraid to remind you of all that, and you'll get through it." Jonathan pursed his lips as Clary looked up at him with a softened expression. "I know that's what I do."
After Sophia and Jake were speechless by Jonathan's answer, the group laughed and Sophia asked in disbelief: How could you be laughing? That was amazing. They all shrugged, and Jonathan told her, "With messed-up minds like ours, someone needs to say something profound everyday."
"Ain't that the damn truth," Isabelle yelled from the snack table.
"Okay, well, I need an emotional break," Jake announced, and Sophia turned to him and the camera. "I don't know about you, heartless Sophia." She glared and pushed the camera away, and he laughed in response.
"Okay, fine. An emotional break for Jake." Once Sophia stood up, the band, Clary, Dylan, Mari, and Dallas dispersed.
"Think we're getting too deep in this interview?" Clary asked, and Isabelle smirked.
"Probably," Mari chimed in.
"Definitely," Isabelle answered, and then popped a chip into her mouth.
Clary shrugged. "We could go deeper. Think we'll scare the fans away?"
"No!" Mari said, surprised.
Isabelle chuckled. "Probably."
With a smirk, Jonathan looked over Alec's shoulder. "Texting Magnus? Can't leave each other for a couple minutes? Miss him already?"
Alec gave a laugh. "No."
Jonathan watched as Alec scrolled, and stopped smiling when he noticed that Alec was looking through his messages. "Is that my phone?"
"Yup."
"Not gonna even try to hide the fact that you are snooping through my phone?"
"Nope."
"Are you looking for Sebastian?"
Alec's thumb stopped scrolling, and he turned around to face his best friend. "Well, have you? Been in contact with him? Or did you just erase any trace of that through messages and your phone calls?"
Jonathan glanced at the phone and back at Alec. He gave a nod toward the phone. "Keep scrolling."
Alec's paused for a moment when he saw Sebastian's name. He couldn't be amused by the fact that Jonathan put a pill emoji next to his name. He opened the message and saw that Sebastian had texted—in angry caps at times—and all Jonathan said since that night was get a life before my sister punches you in the face.
Alec looked up. "Why did you keep this?"
Jonathan shrugged a little. "A reminder for how badly I fucked up." He gave a slight nod, staring at the ground. "And how I don't want to do that again." He looked up at Alec. "And because I knew the day would come when you'd be doing this right here—searching through my phone unapologetically."
Alec smirked now as he handed over his phone. "Unapologetically," he said with a snicker. "I've been sneaking glances to check if you got any new messages from him." He looked away. "But it was nice to open up the whole message. Nice touch with the pill, by the way." With that, Alec walked away, and Jonathan stared at the wall behind him, shaking his head.
"Sassier. Alec has actually become sassier."
"Okay." Sophia settled into her chair. She looked at Jake and toward the camera. "You emotionally ready now?" The camera nodded, and she faced the band, who all had snacks now as they crammed themselves on the couch even though there were chairs scattered in the room that they could've used.
Jake sighed audibly. "Yes, yes."
Sophia faced forward. "Okay, just a few questions, then we'll just be doing the livestream portion where we essentially just hang out and we record you doing whatever it is you do."
"Eat." Jonathan held a chip up. "We eat a lot."
Isabelle murmured, "Mm, he's not wrong."
Simon shook his head. "If we ever get through this interview."
Clary pursed her lips. "Ignore them. Please continue."
Sophia smiled kindly at her and then asked, "Did you always listen to the pop punk genre of music? Is it something you solely listened to when you guys were younger?"
"Definitely not!" Isabelle looked at Alec. "Alec and I grew up on listening to classic music, pop music, easy listening." She put her hands up. "Not that we don't listen to that music now or don't love it as much; we definitely do. But to describe it, we didn't listen to songs with curse words in it, but when the Morgenstern siblings moved in with us, it was f-bombs everywhere in music. And, well, in daily conversation."
"Weren't you guys eleven and thirteen?" Jake asked.
Clary nodded, looking up. "Yup."
They laughed and turned to Simon next.
"I actually listened to a lot of hip hop and rap when I was young," Simon explained. "It was that and classic rock. So when I met Clary and she listened to so much pop punk, along with everything else that I listened to too, I kind of shit on—" Simon covered his mouth. "Oops." Everyone in the room erupted in laughter, and he shrugged. "It was bound to happen if you're with us. The cursing is often." He gave a laugh and then continued, "I just wasn't a fan of the pop punk, emo music that she was into."
"He was being a hipster," Clary mumbled, and he threw a glare. "He's a classic anti-hipster hipster."
He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I gave it a chance because Clary loved it so much, and she grew up surrounded by music that was on the verge of classic and punk. I ended up loving it, and I was completely wrong about it."
"Completely wrong about it, that's right," Jonathan reiterated. "Well, like Simon said, Clarissa and I grew up with music that was very borderline classic rock and punk." He leaned forward to look at Clary, who was at the other end of the couch. "But we definitely listened to everything else these guys did. We loved music. Every kind, and I think that's important to know about us. That even though we play pop punk, we love and respect all kinds of music."
Clary nodded. "Yes, what Jonathan said."
Sophia put her hands out. "Okay, this question is going to be a difficult one, because I know there are siblings and best friends in this group, but," she paused for dramatic effect, "who was your best friend when you were young? But it can't be anyone in this room." Clary and Jonathan opened their mouths, and Sophia blurted, "And it can't be Jace!"
The two groaned, and Simon shrugged, raising his hand. "Easy! My sister." He did one loud clap, and his band mates glared at him.
"Cheater," Isabelle whispered, and Simon made a face back at her. "Um." She put her hands over her face. "She was my best friend in school, but I can't remember her last name."
"You're an awful best friend, Izzy," Jonathan told her, and she flipped him off without looking.
"But her name was Alexis." Isabelle waved. "Hope you're doing well, Alexis."
"Please. What a lame apology." Jon mumbled, and Isabelle shoved him, and he grinned at the camera. "Mine was my mum. Hi, Mum!" He waved.
He turned to Alec. "Um, our doorman, whom we've had until this day. His name is Ernie, and after school I'd hang out with him at the door all day and he would just let me sit there and play videogames." Alec shrugged. "I know he's not watching this, so I'm not gonna wave, but hi, Ernie."
The group turned to Clary, and once they did, Jonathan's smile fell. He didn't even think about what this answer was for Clary, and now he was worried about how it was going to affect her.
Clary looked up at him and then back at Sophia. She smiled a little. "Um, my dad." She looked down and picked at the bottom of her sweater. "Definitely my dad."
Simon walked throughout the hallways of the arena, the harsh air from the water that surrounded the back of the venue hitting him whenever he opened a door. The interview went on, to their surprise, and Clary didn't miss a beat. She acted as if she never answered a question about her estranged father being her best friend. Simon knew they shouldn't have been surprised that Clary seemed okay, but after she hung out for a couple minutes and then swiftly disappeared, he knew she wasn't actually okay. He tried not to think of the time constraint they were now under, with it being so close to the show and the brains of the group going missing.
He pushed a door open, his fifth one, and then breathed in relief when he saw Clary sitting on the side, using a metal railing as an arm rest, her chin planted firmly into her forearm.
He let the door close and walked over to her, putting the jacket that she left in the room on her, and sat down. She never looked over, and he didn't say a word as he stared out at how the ripples moved in the water.
She was playing music from her phone, which was was placed in between them, and when it repeated he knew she was deeply affected by the question she answered. Simon was very familiar with the light beats and piano that played for the first fifty-eight seconds of the song. He closed his eyes when the music started and he shivered from a chill that didn't come from the frigid air.
It's been a long year
Since we last spoke
How's your halo?
Just between you and I
You and me and the satellites
I never believed you
I only wanted to
Before all of this
What did I miss?
Do you ever get homesick?
I can't get used to it
I can't get used to it
I'll never get used to it
I'll never get used to it
"I'm okay," she whispered when the second verse started.
He opened his eyes and turned to look at her. "This song doesn't tell me that you're okay."
Clary didn't answer and continued to stare out at the water.
Could I have saved you?
Would that've betrayed you?
I wanna burn this film
You alone with those pills
What you couldn't do I will
Simon watched her as she turned to him and looked him right in the eyes.
I forgive you
I'll forgive you
I'll forgive you
I forgive you
She smiled very slightly when she said, "I'm okay. I feel okay."
For blue, blue skies
For blue, blue skies
For blue, blue skies
For blue, blue skies
She shook her head a little. "Is that weird?"
Simon pursed his lips and reached out to hug her. "That's not weird. That's good."
She hugged him back. "Do you think I could do that, though? Just forgive him? Maybe I'm just tired of hating him. Is that the same thing as forgiving?"
Simon was quiet for a moment and then answered, "I believe you can do anything. And if that means forgiving your father without having explain how it came to that, you can do that too."
"Not that he knows," Clary whispered after she hugged Simon a little tighter.
Simon shrugged. "So he doesn't know. But at least you do."
"Alright." Jace squinted into the stage lights as he quickly put down his acoustic guitar. He grabbed the seat someone handed to him, and he nodded a thank you in return. He sat down on the stool and adjusted his mic. "I wrote this song the night of Thanksgiving and I just gave it the person playing the piano, so I wanted to publicly apologize to her for the pressure of that." He smirked into the mic. "But yeah…" He shook his head. "It's been a long time since I've had a hard time leaving a place." He looked into the crowd. "This is about that." He turned to look at the side of the stage. "Clarissa Morgenstern, everybody."
The crowd roared with cheers and applause as Clary smiled, walking over to a piano that was faced toward the crowd and right beside Jace.
"I told her she needed to be the one to play this little secret song," Jace said, and she got her seat ready and made herself comfortable. "And I hope you guys like it."
Jace watched as Clary closed her eyes and began to play. He stared at her for a second, turned forward, and did the same as he began.
If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you
I think I might give up everything, just ask me to
Jace usually looked into the crowd or at Clary during these moments, but just like she hated facing the crowd, he hated being without an instrument to hold and rely on to help him with his nerves. He knew he was singing the words, but he couldn't help the following questions roaming around in this mind.
Was she playing with her eyes shut? Were the fans wondering why these two idiots were playing with their eyes completely shut? This is his second to last show. Why did Clary disappear? Things happened so quickly after he came back from soundcheck and he never had a chance to ask.
And even though Jace was a mess of questions, as he finished the chorus, the multi-tasking making his brain hurt, his eyes opened when he heard Clary's voice.
I've got scars, even though they can't always be seen
And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing
Jace looked over at awe, and she peeked at him with one eye, and the corner of her mouth went up into a smile. She gave him a nod.
Pay attention, I hope that you listen, cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless
Jace smiled after he sang his bridge and the two kept their eye contact intact as they sang the chorus.
For your eyes only, I show you my heart
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
I'm missing half of me when we're apart
Now you know me, for your eyes only
For your eyes only
For the rest of the song, Jace and Clary had slight smiles while they sang together. It was as if they were battling their stage fears together and making it okay. He knew that, up there, doing things that usually made them feel like a mess, they were making it okay for one another. And that his song was answering their questions. And that just singing together, his endless questions and concerns disappeared.
And that, finally, after feeling like he was lying to himself just to make her feel better, he felt that they were going to be okay. That being apart would not turn him into who he was before. And that, even if he did, they wouldn't let each other push one another so far that they couldn't help themselves.
As the song ended, the lights faded out to darkness, and the only thing they could hear was the reaction from the crowd, and he knew that, no matter what, they would be okay.
A/N: Can I just say that I've missed writing these characters? So much. And I'm still ignoring the fact that this story is coming to end. I'm tempted to delete that line just because that's how much I can't face it.
Howw did you guys like the chapter? Please let me know! And please hang in there with this story. Just know I would never abandon this. We've all been through much—as in us and the characters—and it's just not gonna end without an ending.
Leave some reviews and feedback :)
Thank you to everyone to reads this! New and especially old, because you guys are amazing for hanging in there with me. Thank you for the reviews that always put a smile on my face. Thank you for the favorites and alerts.
Hope you are all doing well, my dears.
Shout out to rippingbutterflywings for beta'ing this in her crazy busy schedule! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your support being the number one in hanging in there with me for this story. Always happy to hear to know you miss and love it along with me.
Shout out to Guest, Guest, LOVERGIRL, what-is-a-social-life , ExplosiveCreator, bookaddict223, clarissa adele herondale, infamousfanfic, Dramione-Fan 17, Page1of365, ML, brightdarknessx, Hi, Allieanna, Jaceswife913, Nephilimdauntless, authorshateus, Debra Williams, and I'm A Writing Dreamer! I hug each and everyone of you for leaving reviews, and giving me inspiration with every email/review. I'll be replying to your reviews tonight and tomorrow!
Guest: Thank you for the review! I like writing Jealous Jace too because he has ridiculous lines, haha. I hope you liked this one!
Guest (KB): Thank you for the Thanksgiving greeting and review! I hope you had a great one too. I LOVE writing Clary and Jon. I love their relationship so I'm glad you see you do too! I hope you liked this chapter and the song :)
LOVERGIRL: Thank you for your review! I hope you liked it!
ML: Thank ya for believing in me, MLC. Your support started the madness.
Hi: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked the One Direction song, and I hope you liked this one too :)