A/N: Helloo. So this is a day or two delayed because I was busy over the weekend, and also at work. I really, really hope you guys like it. The other AN shall be on the bottom.

The song used in this chapter is Drugs Or Me by Jimmy Eat World.

Clary's shoulders jumped when the door slammed behind her and the chill of the air hit her face. Isabelle grabbed for her hands and held them as she said, "Clary, tell me where you're at right now. What are you thinking?"

Simon followed immediately with, "How you are feeling?"

Clary looked past them at the buses parked around them. She opened her mouth, but nothing was coming out. She couldn't focus on one thought, on one question. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly as she questioned whether this was real life or a dream. She looked up and whispered, "Where is Jonathan?" Simon and Isabelle looked at each other. "Where is Jace?"

Isabelle stared at the floor now. She might not have been in the room when Jace was yelling, but she could hear him down the hall when they took Clary out of the room.

"Where are my mother and Luke?" Clary turned around towards the door. "Fuck, my mom and Luke. They don't know! They need to know before he just walks in there and Luke attacks him or something." She reached for the doorknob, and Simon placed his hand over hers.

"Clary." She looked up at him, panicked. "Are you okay?"

"I—I don't know." She looked at her best friends. "I just want to find my family and make sure they are."

Once the door slammed shut behind Jace, Jordan immediately walked towards one of the men. He was pointing, and the man in front of him almost smiled.

"Watch that finger of yours, Jordan," the man remarked, and Jordan froze before putting it down.

"How dare you!" Jordan seethed. "How dare you bring him in here to just meet them like that. How dare you not tell any of their parents."

The man in front of him shook his head. "We have always warned you of this, Jordan. Stop getting attached. We've threatened to take you from Jace as a manager before." The man took a step towards Jordan, getting uncomfortably close. "Jace is not your child. Stop treating him like one."

Jordan took steps back, and Maia grabbed his hand. "You've never cared about him. Like how I'm sure you never cared about them." He gestured towards Stephen and Valentine. "You just don't give a fuck. How am I even surprised." Flipping them off, he laced his fingers with Maia's and led them out of the room.

Jace threw the door of the dressing room open, hard enough that Jocelyn was sure he damaged the wall that the door knob hit. She stood up immediately and walked towards him.

"Jace, what was all that screaming? What is going on?"

She reached for his arms, not even flinching when he pulled his wrists out of her grasp in response, and just stared at him with worried eyes as he put his hands on his head and took deep breaths.

Jocelyn barely noticed that the other families left the room, and only Luke was standing slightly behind her.

Jace opened his eyes, making eye contact with Jocelyn immediately. She reached for his hand, and he let her take it, and sounding exhausted, he told her, "He's here. They're here."

And, even though Jocelyn gasped, she almost didn't feel surprised that he was—and that she knew immediately who he was. She looked over her shoulder at Luke, who was staring at the floor, knowing he knew too.

"Come, sit," Jocelyn told Jace calmly, and he followed her, with Luke right behind him. They sat on the couch, and Jace put his face in his hands and forcefully dragged them down his face. "Talk to me."

"How could they do this?" he asked, shaking his head. "How could they ambush us? They never care about us; they never did. They never cared about you. They don't care about anything. Are they fucking robots? Do they all go to a uni that steals their souls and sell them to the devil?"

Luke inclined his head. "I've had that theory before."

"And why is he here? How could he come here and just stand there like he hasn't fucked all our lives over? He brought us to hell and we all had to climb out." He looked at Jocelyn and Luke. "Why aren't you upset? Why aren't you storming into that room right now to beat the living shit out of him?"

Jocelyn looked at Luke and then shook her head slightly. "I'm not too surprised that he showed up. I'm in shock that he's here, in our presence, but I'm not surprised that he came, Jace."

"To not hide in the crowd, that surprises me," Luke chimed in.

Jace sat up straight now. "Because his kids are playing MSG, and that's a huge milestone?"

Jocelyn gulped. "Yes, Jace."

"Because he loves them."

"Jace," she whispered.

He stood up in a flash, and Jocelyn looked away slightly, feeling it in her heart what he was about to say.

"His kids are playing the most famous venue in America, of course he would be here. Of course he would go. Because no matter how shitty he was, he was still a father before all of that, wasn't he?" he asked, and Luke could only simply nod. Jace looked away to avoid the sympathy in his eyes. "That's nice. An awful human being still being a father. It's heartwarming. It makes me not as angry at him, actually."

Silence surrounded them as Jace finally stopped pacing, and his breathing began to slow down. He stared off at the wall to his right and crossed his arms.

And, in a room that was so quiet that they could hear all the yelling the room next to them, Jace asked, "Why doesn't she ever care?"

"Oh, Jace," Jocelyn responded immediately and stood up.

"Really. She just hasn't even cared. Once I actually started to be a child that she had to take care of, she essentially handed me to you. She left all the hard child raising to you. She didn't care enough to not cheat on my father. She didn't care to fight for me. Not that I would ever want to fucking stay with her, but it would've been nice if she tried. And then she's never seen me play a big show." He let out a laugh. "She watched me when I was starting out and played at this dodgy little club in London, and I know she only went because she lived down the street. But when I played the O2, she wasn't there. And here, in Madison fucking Square Garden, she is not here." He blinked before he yelled, "Why doesn't she ever fucking care!"

Jocelyn put her right hand over her mouth as she looked down and tried to control herself from sobbing. She couldn't deny what Jace was saying, she knew it was true. It was why she was so adamant on treating him like family—because she knew that he was always lacking in his own.

"Jace, I don't know how to make her make sense to you," Luke spoke up. He stood up now and walked towards the boy who was now his same height, the boy he tried his best to make feel as loved as he knew Clary and Jonathan were. The boy he thought of daily when they left England, because he wondered if Jace was okay, if he would end up okay. "It never made sense that she treated you like she did. It was one of the reasons for our constant fights. You deserve more from her. You deserved everything from her." He put a hand on Jace's shoulder and told him sternly, "You have us." Jace looked over at him. "For forever now." Jace nodded. "We would've taken you with us back then if it wasn't illegal and called kidnapping."

Letting out a laugh, Jace answered, "Good to know." He took a deep breath. "Thank you. For a lot of things. For being parents when mine essentially sucked."

"We all sucked as parents," Luke confessed. "If you don't remember, we made it very hard on all three of you."

Turning away a little, Jace tried to deny it. "No, you guys were just—"

"Kids." Walking up to him, Jocelyn took his hands. "Jace, we were just kids. Kids who had kids. Kids who were figuring life out, and failing at doing so. We dragged you all for the ride and some of us ended up okay, like me and Luke and your father. But, some of us never found our way. That isn't on you. Always know that you, our kids, have already made it. Know that your past or your parents doesn't determine where your life is, who you are, your worth. It is just your past, and it's a part of you, but it isn't you. You're more than all of it. We've all given you a lot to work with, a lot to learn from, but you are more than all of it."

Jace nodded. He inclined his head towards the other room. "Are you going to speak to him?"

"Nope." Jocelyn shook his head. "Definitely not."

"Do you think Jonathan and Clary will?"

Jocelyn and Luke almost laughed now. "It's possible."

"Clary won't be able to stop herself," Luke said, sitting back down on the couch.

Alec sat beside Jonathan, glancing at him every once in awhile to check on his expressions. He cleared his throat once Jonathan looked calm enough that he wouldn't get punched for speaking.

"So, that is your father," Alec whispered to himself. Jonathan nodded curtly. "At least you know you'll be good looking as an older man."

Alec froze when Jonathan's eyebrows furrowed, and he wasn't sure if it was too soon to joke with him.

Jonathan slowly glanced over and smiled a little. "You really have gotten funny after being with Magnus."

Alec let out a laugh, mostly from relief. "I've always been funny."

Jonathan shrugged. "Then you've been hiding it."

Alec gulped now. "What's going on in your head?"

Jonathan looked up into the sky. He took a deep breath. "That he seemed so small."

"Is—"

"It's not because I'm not a kid anymore and I'm literally taller than him," Jonathan explained before Alec could even ask. "He just seemed so small. So nervous, so afraid. So...weak." He shook his head. "I've never seen my father that way. I've never even imagined him that way."

The two were quiet for a few minutes. "He wasn't as scary as you described him."

"Ha, yeah." Jonathan shook his head. "I feel kind of bad for him."

"What?"

"To go from a man who lit up a room, and completely took control of the energy in a room, to blending in and looking smaller than those corporate men from The Clave." Jonathan looked down at his hands that he kept firmly together. "What a way to fall."

"Fuck," Clary muttered, looking down at her watch. "You guys have rehearsal."

"Fuck rehearsal—"

Clary spun around so fast that Simon braced himself to get hit, but she sternly told him, "No." She looked at Isabelle, who stayed quiet while Clary walked around the venue trying to find her brother. "He will not fuck this up. This is the most important night of your musical careers thus far, and I will not let it get ruined by Clave bullshit." She took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling for a second. "Okay, please find Jonathan. Call Alec again. Text them both that rehearsal is in ten minutes and that I'll kick their asses if they aren't on that stage." She turned around to walk down the hall.

"Clary," Isabelle spoke, and it echoed through the hall. "Are you really okay?"

Clary turned and shook her head. "No. But I will be."

Isabelle nodded, and then took Simon's hand. "We'll text you when we start rehearsing."

"I'm gonna find my parents and Jace. I'll be there," Clary told her, and the two turned to walk away. She walked forward again and shook her head. "You're okay. You'll be okay," she whispered as she pushed open a door that led to the outside area.

She froze as she spotted him with his back towards her. Valentine was leaning against a black car and was too busy yelling on the phone to hear her open the door. Instead of turning around, ignoring that she even saw him on his way to probably leaving the venue, she took a step forward, and, before she knew it, she was walking right towards him, able to hear his conversation.

"This was a mistake, Lou," he explained. "Why the hell did I think they would be okay with bombarding?" He paused. "Well, no, it wasn't my idea, but I also didn't tell them no. I shouldn't have come. I should've just watched in the crowd like a normal person. This plan was completely absurd, and—" He cut himself off immediately when he turned to his right and saw Clary standing there, staring at him. "I—I have to go." And, with no goodbye, he ended the call and stuffed his phone in his pocket. "Clarissa."

She stared at him, her heart threatening to beat right out of her chest, and her stomach churning in a way that made her want to throw up. She kept telling herself to leave, but her legs wouldn't move.

All she could do was stare right back at him and vaguely listen to the music playing through the speakers, strangely wondering if somewhere in the venue, her family could hear it too.

Stay with me

You're the one that I need

You make the hardest things

Seem easy

Keep my heart

Somewhere drugs don't go

Where the sun shines lay

Always keep me close

"I'm making arrangements to leave," he whispered. And, to that, she nodded and looked down at his shoes.

If only you could see
The stranger next to me
You promised you promised that you're done
But I can't tell you from the drugs

She turned around, and her hands balled into fists. I'm making arrangements to leave. What a thing to say to your daughter. What a ridiculous thing to say after appearing after all these years.

Feeling her face heat up from anger, she turned and walked back towards him. "Actually, no." She stood in front of him. "You should stay. You should stay in the crowd and watch Jonathan, because he deserves the satisfaction of you seeing what he's become without you. You should see what he has inside of him. He's made for this." She pointed. "Just like you used to be."

Valentine nodded slightly, and slowly stood up straight when Clary didn't walk away. She was looking at him directly in the eyes, and not flinching one bit. Her face was red, which was the usual giveaway to her rage, something that carried on from her younger years. "You are made up of strength. Where did you get that from?"

"Mom," Clary answered without hesitation.

Valentine looked down. "Yes, of course. Your mother is the strongest woman I know." He cleared his throat. "I'm glad you've become just like her."

Immediately, Clary looked away, inhaled and exhaled slowly. Her shoulders relaxed a fraction and she crossed her arms.

Don't let go

Dig a great big hole

Down an endless hole

We'll both go

You're so blind

You can't see me this time

Hope comes from inside

And I feel so low tonight

"Why are you asking me to stay?" Valentine asked quietly.

"Because I love my brother more than my distaste for you." He looked up at her. "Surprising, I know." He stared back down at the ground. "And," Clary started, "I'm really fucking tired of hating you."

Valentine closed his eyes.

"You'd think I'd be angry seeing you, but it was kind of like everything made sense." She rolled her eyes. "I should've seen it coming, honestly. I've been dreaming about you for months." She scoffed slightly. "And I am tired of you having such a hold on us. It is so fucking exhausting. I am so tired of dealing with your consequences. I'm tired of dealing with the ways you've fucked us all up. Your presence follows me every single fucking day. And I'm so tired of that."

She turned on swiftly and began walking, her booties echoing and matching to the beat of the music. She faced him again.

If only you could see

The stranger next to me

You promise you promise that you're done

But I can't tell you from the drugs

"And I don't think you fully comprehend what it's like to not know if your father is alive." Clary closed her eyes when her voice cracked. "After we left, I spent months—years— wondering if you died. You were a drug addict, weren't you? And I wondered if we would even find out. Would The Clave call? Did they even care about you anymore if you weren't making money for them? Did Stephen know where you were?" She held her hands out to him as tears streamed down her face, and he flinched with every question. "I mean, couldn't you have sent a fucking letter?" Clary put her hands on her head as she turned away from him. She spun to face him. "Couldn't you have reached out to me?" She pointed to herself. "For fuck's sake, it was me. We were a fucking team. You and me. Mom and Jonathan. I kept all your bloody secrets. Every single one. I never told Mom, Jonathan, or even Jace. And you couldn't reach out to me?"

"Clarissa—"

"Fuck you," she interrupted. "For what you did to them, to us, to me." She leaned against a wall and slid down as Valentine walked towards her. She covered her face as the music played in the silence between them. She focused so much on the song that she didn't even hear him sit against the wall too, just far enough away from her.

I wish that you could see

This face in front of me

You're sorry you swear it you're done

But I can't tell you from the drugs

"I always felt like if you knew this song, you'd dedicate it to me," Valentine spoke up.

Clary wiped her face and shook her head. "I did. Fate's a cruel bitch playing this right now." Valentine laughed and she looked over. "Huh. I haven't heard that laugh since before you started doing cocaine."

Valentine's smile fell, and he stared at the concrete floor in front of him.

"I'm sorr—"

"Don't. It won't be enough."

"I'm sorry," Valentine repeated. She looked down. "I'm so sorry."

Clary cleared her throat. "Duly noted." And even though she knew it didn't change anything, she knew her heart was glad to hear it. She stood up. "So, stay. Be here to watch him. And be here to watch Jace." She paused for a second. "You know, two nights ago, I was just telling Jace that I was starting to forgive you."

"You did?"

"Yes, but looking at you now, it's like I was making peace with a ghost. And you definitely aren't a ghost." She glanced down at him. "At least I know that now."

"Clarissa?" She crossed her arms. "Why did you? Why did you always cover for me?"

"Because I love you, and you were the parent I was best friends with." Clary gulped and looked away. "I love Mom, but you and me...we were silently in tune. That's probably why I couldn't resist yelling at you, hearing you speak. And I thought you'd stop if you knew that I did. I think I kept trying to give you a second chance." She made eye contact with him. "But we all know how that turned out."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I know."

"You all have my love. I'm so proud of you, Jonathan, and Jace."

Clary looked down and turned a little. "You know, you seem like how you were before we left that dodgy little club. The one before all the offers. The one that was just fun." She stared at him for a second. "It's too bad we won't be able to find out for sure." She clenched her teeth. "Goodbye, Valentine."

And, finally, she walked away. She reached for the doorknob and turned it open.

"Father?" He looked up in surprise as he stood up. "Please take care of yourself. Survive."

He inclined his head. "I will, Clarissa."

A/N: Jace and Clary have my love. I was actually talking about Clary in this chapter with Camille (rippingbutterflywings) about how we both wished that Clary would have just ended it with saying goodbye to her father, but Clary, especially this Clary that loves too much just couldn't do that. She can't help herself with family.

It was genuinely relieving to write this chapter for them because they're releasing tension from subjects that they carry in their everyday lives. I hope you guys liked reading it and were feeling as heartbroken for them as I was when writing it.

Alright, so there is two more chapters left, which includes the epilogue :( I haven't written them yet but I'll be trying my best to get to it every opportunity that I get.

Anyway, please please please let me know you guys think. This was a huge chapter for Jace and Clary, and this story in general, and I'd love to hear what you guys think. Leave some reviews & feedback :)

Thank you, thank you for the reviews, favorites, and alerts! Thank you reading along, sincerely, and finishing this story up with me.

Shout out to rippingbutterflywings for beta'ing! Thank you for still being able to do this for me, and for talking with me about Clarissa. Thank you always, MS Clary.

Shout out to Debra Williams, Flora Silverthrush, Guest, LOVERGIRL, cheshire15, katnipsc, WeArentLost-Yet, Guest, Guest, Herondale-potter-jackson, Ads S, bookaddict223, and IridescentLight! Thank you for your reviews! I appreciate you guys taking the time. I haven't been able to reply to any reviews, but I'll be replying to those before the next chapter for sure. Love hearing what you guys have to say, thank youu.

Guest: Thank you for your review! So glad you liked it :)

LOVERGIRL: Thank you for your review! I hope you like the update!

Guest: I'm so happy Jace's rant with the "fuck you's" gave you life because same with me. It was great to have him vent like that. And thank you! I'm definitely feeling better than I have been. Thank you for your review!

Guest: Thank youu for your review! Very glad you loved Jace taking a stand, it was awesome to write. And yes! The Clave was definitely looking for some free PR, and it's awful of them. I hope you like the chapter :)