Day Late Friend

by spikeyhairgood

Jace Herondale and Clarissa Morgenstern grew up together while their parents toured with their successful rock band, The Uprising. Since the band's rocky break up and their sudden separation, Jace and Clary haven't spoken to one another in years. After an arranged reunion set up by their parents, one unexpected offer will turn everyone's lives upside down. AH, AU.

44. Immediate Lightness

A/N: I don't want to make this beginning author's note too long because of the hiatus but I do hope this very very (very) long epilogue makes up for the wait for anyone who is reading this because of an alert. I've been working on this chapter for years (sincerely) so I hope you guys enjoy!

The songs used in this epilogue are:

Running Low - Shawn Mendes

Sure Hope You Mean It - Raphael Saadiq

Dangerous - My American Heart

Songs that we wrote when we were drunk - Lewis Watson

Running - James Bay

All You Are Is History - State Champs

Lightning - State Champs

Could Have Been Me - The Struts

Frozen - State Champs

Prepare To Be Noticed - State Champs

More Than Anyone - Gavin Degraw

Whisper - Ernie Halter (a throwback for this story, and briefly mentioned)

Okay, so many songs, I know! But there was so much to cover in this. I love all these songs and their places in this story, but Running and the songs after it make me emotional every single time. Whew.

Now, without making you wait any longer, this is the epilogue for Day Late Friend.

---

Clary tapped her pen against her forehead. Her eyes were tightly shut, and she was humming the tune of a song, as the person next to her reached into the bag of chips. She opened her eyes and side-eyed him when his crunching was interrupting her concentration. She slowly looked over, and stared at him.

"Kevin?"

He grinned, his feet up on the soundboard. He stopped smiling and gulped. "I'm sorry, chips too loud?"

She let out a laugh, and leaned back against her chair that reclined with her weight. It moved back in a way that would normally scare someone, but since Clary had spent days in that recording studio, she knew when it wouldn't be able to lean back. She learned that when she leaned back too hard and spilled her iced coffee all over herself.

"No," she said with a sigh. "I can't get it right now."

"I think it's perfect. Shawn thinks it's perfect."

"There's something missing," she said to herself.

"Well, honey, Shawn loves it." She looked over at him again. "I'm sorry. I don't know where 'honey' came from."

"It's something so small. But it's missing." She threw her pen onto the soundboard. "I'm not gonna get it today." She leaned forward and looked at her phone and gasped. She reached for the laptop and immediately typed in the website for Z100. She clicked through the site with ease because she had made her way to the Elvis Duran and The Morning Show page so many times.

"Come on, come on, come on," she mumbled to herself, as it was beginning to load and she watched the time on the corner of her screen linger on 6:59AM. She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard Elvis Duran's voice.

"I've never seen anyone so relieved to hear Elvis Duran speak," Kevin noted as he closed the bag of chips. He threw them aside. "Chips at 7 in the morning. I need to stop."

"Shh. And it just turned 7. And yes."

---

"Alright. I know we've been teasing this all week," Elvis started.

"More so this morning," Bethany added.

"Elvis is mean like that," Greg T spoke up.

"Hey! I'm not being mean. But it's 7AM, the time that was promised, and I think I want to talk about...the weather!"

"Elvis!" the others complained.

"Just introduce them already. They're not gonna waste the day here with you." Danielle leaned into the mic when she added, "They're very busy artists, you know."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop teasing because I know I'm driving everyone crazy. Myself included." Elvis clapped once loudly. "Okay." He paused. "The Elite Four, everybody!"

In sync, the group said "hello!"

"Ohh, that was beautiful," Danielle commented. "Very in harmony."

Jonathan winked. "As it should be." He slammed his hands down and Isabelle jumped up in surprise and shot him a look like he was insane. "Thank you for having us this morning! We can't believe this is how we're starting release day."

Simon slammed his hands down after and Isabelle jumped to turn to him and give him the same look. "It's insane. We're so grateful to be here this morning. We've been listening to you since we were kids and it's surreal. And if you heard anyone hitting the walls while our song was playing, we apologize because it was us."

"I don't know if it's just me but your music sounds amazing on the radio." Elvis shook his head. "Really. It does!"

"Um and what about everywhere else?" Danielle asked.

"You know what I mean!" He defended himself. "Listening to it in the car actually makes you feel like you're at their show or something."

"Actually a lot of the songs on our album come from what sounds best in the car or through headphones. I'm pretty sure someone out in New York has spotted Clary in the driver's seat with the windows open and the music blasting obnoxiously loud," Simon said into the mic. "Clary is that driver with her music so loud that it's shaking your own car in traffic."

"Ridiculous, but brilliant," Isabelle interjected. "Sorry our girl is missing by the way. She's always busy now. She's always out creating magic in other people's songs. But she still saves her brilliance for us. Because you know—"

"Love?" Danielle guessed.

"No, obligation and guilt. We make sure she knows we are her originals."

Everyone laughed and Isabelle shrugged. She wasn't kidding.

Alec leaned into his mic. "But you know that ridiculousness of listening to loud music in the car works. Or listening with your headphones while on transportation. I think Clary figured that out early on. When you're listening to the music in the car, or with headphones, and you're thinking it sounds differently than just hearing it anywhere else, like on your laptop or something, just know that we do that on purpose."

"You feel it more that way," Jonathan added.

"Yeah, in your soul." Simon cleared his throat before speaking. "And we spoke about this when we were making the album. We talked about the experience of music and how we wanted to be the kind of music that you listen to loudly. The kind of music where you just close your eyes, and you're there in the crowd. In your mind you're looking up at the stage at that band and you're taking in that show. You're escaping from whatever you need to be escaping from." Simon took a breath from talking so quickly. "We wanted it to feel that way. So if our music comes off that way, I feel like we've done our job for this album."

---

"You know, for some reason, I thought you were rushing to hear an interview with your boyfriend," Kevin commented.

Clary's face didn't change when she told him, "I told you stop calling him my boyfriend sarcastically. I'm not just imagining him to be my boyfriend. He actually is."

Kevin shook his head. "No, I know. I mean, obviously. I've seen you in the papers. I used to say that to try and undermine him." Clary rolled her eyes. "I just thought you were excited to hear him."

"He's on a plane. Probably landing right now." Clary looked up. "Are you a fan?"

"What? No." Kevin scoffed.

"I'm serious. He's got a huge male following," he followed, completely serious.

"Well, then yes."

"I'll arrange for him to meet you," Clary said simply, and turned back to the laptop. "Now, shh. My family is talking."

---

"Oh, we can't wait. It's too been long since we've been to one of your shows." Elvis looked at them. "10 months?"

Alec nodded. "10 months since Madison Square Garden."

"Mhmm. New albums, new songs." Isabelle winked. "I mean, old songs too."

"So what kind of sound will you guys have for this album?" Greg T transitioned into the next question. "Do you think you'll be bringing in a new demographic?"

Jonathan chuckled a little into the mic. "I actually don't think our sound has changed too much at all which I think is okay! I don't feel like we have anything to prove yet. This will be our debut album and even though our stuff is heard, it's not out to this capacity of a full album. So I don't know, I think it just sounds like us. Which isn't a concise or clear answer at all, sorry."

"And I feel like we have a pretty mixed up demographic at the concerts so I don't know if we'll be getting too much of a different demographic when the album is released." Alec said, looking at Isabelle and Simon to his right. "At least from what we see up there."

Isabelle nodded. "Granted we see more younger girls up in the front but that's just because Jonathan is such a flirt."

They all laughed and Jonathan shrugged.

Simon leaned into the mic. "Yeah, but it's a mixed audience. For some reason, people think that because we went on tour with Jace Herondale that we would only have screaming girls at our concerts. Which we don't mind, we love the screaming girls. They're the true fans. But since Jace has a huge female following, they think we'd have the same. On tour with Jace, there were people our own age, too. There's older people listening to our music, especially Jace, because he has such a soulful sound. So I don't know, I don't think that people should judge music in that way. If music is good, then it's good. If people don't wanna even give bands or musicians a try because the fans might be made up of mostly younger listeners, then that's a waste because you're missing out." The others began to clap. "So what if Jace has a lot of female listeners? It's not Jace Herondale's fault that he's so handsome."

"I really love that," Elvis followed. "I love everything that you just said because there's this stigma on boy bands or musicians that have a teenage girl following. Not saying that Jace has the same music, but if people were to judge him based off who was mostly at his concerts, then that's what they would think."

"I feel like with Jace's music, there are parents asking if they could take their own kids," Isabelle interjected and a laugh followed. "Honestly. Like I'm sure those mom's all have the same crush on Jace, and the dad's are just loving his music."

"They used to say that our concerts were weird. Like us opening for Jace because the music was so different, but why the hell does it even matter?" Jonathan paused. "Wait, can you say hell on the radio?"

"Well, you've said it twice," Alec mumbled.

"I just mean...it shouldn't matter. If the music is good, if the music is making someone, anyone, feel something then hasn't the music done its job? It would honestly be a waste if people judged musicians by who was listening because, like Simon said, that's just missing out."

Elvis grinned at the four sitting in front of him and grinned. "Well said, Elite Four." He began a drum roll. "Okay, we've been teasing this all morning so we can't make the people wait any longer."

"Make them wait," Greg T joked and the awkward silence could be felt through the radio. "It was a joke."

"You're a monster," Danielle whispered into the mic.

"Anyway." Elvis started his drum roll again. "You're hearing it here first with the Morning Zoo. The Elite Four's new single—Frozen."

---

Clary shut the laptop and smiled a little. She sighed and put the laptop down. She closed her eyes for a moment as Kevin sat down next to her.

"Are you and Jace okay?" Kevin asked, and Clary opened her eyes, narrowing them a little.

"Are you asking as a fan?"

"I'm asking as your friend." Kevin shrugged. "I'd like to believe we're friends after working on this song together."

"We are." Clary shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "Everything's fine with us." Kevin raised an eyebrow. She shrugged. "Long distance is hard."

"I'm sure." Kevin nodded. "More so when you're famous."

"He's famous."

Kevin laughed, and Clary looked somewhat offended. "Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. It's just that you are famous too. And not just because you're his girlfriend. Your band is famous. And you're famous for what you've done this past year. It's not even a year, is it?"

"10 months." Clary looked down. "Almost, at least. Since they all played MSG."

"And how many songs have you helped write and produce so far?"

Clary scrunched her nose. "Seven?"

"Seven. Plus, this song. Because I know you didn't count it. And you have your songs with The Elite Four. And you still plan their appearances. And you've traveled back and forth from here and LA, and London, how many times?"

Clary blinked. "Are you a fan of Jace, or a stalker?"

Kevin laughed. "When you're famous, isn't everyone a stalker?"

"Ugh. That's a scary thought."

"It's a true thought."

Clary cleared her throat. "We're okay, Kevin."

"I'm sure. But being okay doesn't mean something is wrong between you two." Kevin shrugged. "But what do I know? I'm just a stalker of yours, and a fan of his."

Clary chuckled and made herself comfortable in her seat. "Can we play the song one more time before we go?"

"Sure." Kevin walked over to the soundbooth and pressed a button. "It's perfect, but sure."

Clary shook her head, rolled her eyes, and then closed them when the piano that played on track sounded like the background music that constantly played in her mind the past week as they recorded it.

Weeks on end, I'm on the road

I start to lose my sense of home

I should've called so many times but I,

I just sat next to my phone

Just know it takes it from me

To end this darling, oh

Clary remembered writing the song with Shawn. It was on his tour bus after one of his shows in LA. His management had been reaching out to Clary to write a song with him when he first released his album, but she was too busy with The Elite Four. Shawn personally told her he would wait to release the song he had in mind because he wanted to write it with her.

And I know you'll find someone who

Gives you the time I didn't give to you

I'm running low

I'm sorry, but I have to go

It may be I who never feel

You gave me something so real

I'm running low

I'm sorry, but I have to go

When Clary heard what he had so far, and the concept, she understood why. Because he knew she would understand the song. And at the time, she didn't think he knew just how much she understood aspects of it. The lyrics that she wrote that night were some of the quickest she had done, and Shawn smiled.

Thinking back to every night

That we just laid there for a while

And when I looked into your eyes oh

I never thought I'd say goodbye

When he asked if her and Jace were okay, someone he expressed that he looked up to, Clary just smiled and shook her head. She told him no, that they were okay. And when he asked how she could create the lyrics she was writing, she just told him that sometimes fears and ideas are enough to work of.

And he nodded, his mouth open slightly. He told her that what she said was gold, and wrote it down as a note on his phone.

Just needed time to, to find my own

But I promise someone will give you all you want

Can give you all you need

And you just gotta see

I never meant to hurt you, no

Clary gulped when she realized that the reason it didn't feel perfect yet was because she felt like something was missing. That Shawn song was supposed to give her an answer, make her feel something, just like when she helped write it. It was supposed to help her feel a certain way so she would know. Know what, she wasn't even sure. Some solace, maybe. But when she was there, hours away from meeting Jace on their bench, she knew that nothing would bring her an answer as much as seeing him in person. Not just talking to each other on the phone like they did for five minutes from her walk to the train to their home. Not just texting each other a couple times a day.

She needed to see him, to calm her mind, to calm her fears. The fear that her lack of trying for them, and pushing him away, had finally torn them down.

And I know you'll find someone who

Gives you the time I didn't give to you

I'm running low

I'm sorry, but I have to go

It may be I who never feel

You gave me something so real

I'm sorry, but I have to go

Clary opened her eyes, arranging her hair so Kevin wouldn't see that her eyes welled up.

"Did you find it?" he asked. "Did you think of what's wrong?"

"No," Clary replied. "It's perfect." She stood up and began collecting her things. "Shawn was right." She looked at Kevin, who looked at her expectantly. "You were right."

He grinned, and began gathering his things. "What changed?"

"Um." Clary cleared her throat. "Me, I guess." She made her way towards the door. "I'll text you. I'll tell Jace all about you, okay?"

Kevin put a finger up. "Not the relentlessly hitting on you part."

"Of course not. See you later, Kev." She opened the door. "Happy first day of Autumn," she said quickly before closing the door.

---

Clary looked up and stared at the ads on the subway. She blinked slowly. She was admittedly tired since she woke up at the break of dawn just to open her window and listen to her song. Afterwards, she rushed to get ready, and went straight to the studio. And now, with no more coffee in her plastic cup, she was only left with fatigue, and her thoughts. Both things she tried her hardest to stay away from the past couple of months.

Clary took a deep breath. 10 months. She couldn't believe that time had gone by so fast, and seemingly too slow all at the same time. Or maybe that was just summer. The season always made it feel like it was going by slow, but when you looked back on it, you couldn't even remember all that happened during those three months. She took comfort knowing that summer hadn't changed.

But now that fall was upon them, time seemed to go back to zooming past them. Only it was leaving a trail of finished songs, interviews, shows, and plans. Clary knew her family was telling Z100 that she was busy, which is true, but it was being busy for the cause of running away. Because if Clary was working, she couldn't pay attention to the feeling of the things crumbling around her.

The band did well. The band hadn't lost steam from the tour, and only moving forward, which was helping Clary because she didn't have the brain capacity to deal with them not doing okay. She spent most of her time with them, of course, but when she wasn't with them, she was flying places to write songs. When she didn't have a lot of free time in the first place.

In the beginning, she also flew places to be with Jace while he was on tour if The Elite Four had a couple days off. Jace had to complete the European leg of his tour, but since he had chosen to cut ties with The Clave, he couldn't do much after that. He was still contracted with them for another year, which meant that currently, he only had two months to wait. But it didn't stop Jace from working.

He wrote songs. He was able to still play festivals. He did covers, and wrote original songs to record and put up on YouTube. It was a way that Maia and Jordan had figured out after they noticed Jace became antsy to release something new. Surprisingly, The Clave didn't make it too hard on him, probably because they might've finally seen their wrong on the night of MSG. But recording music and releasing an album was just something they couldn't find a way around.

Maia and Jordan created their own company, which they of course called Roberts & Kyle, even though they were engaged to be married. But Maia simply said she would just hyphenate her name, and they signed away to an office space in London.

With Jace being their successful client, plenty of artists wanted to flock to their business. They had the support and help from Jocelyn, Luke, and The Lightwoods', which helped them work in the states as well.

The only one suffering for the moment was Jace, who was afraid that he had lost his momentum in the states, and countries other than England. It was understandably a hard time for him. And Clary had spent much of her free time in the beginning with him, but as he got more irritable, the more they wanted to spend time away from each other. Mostly because they wanted to stop fighting, and found that the alone time that they were accustomed to needed to be had. But of course, there was a point when it wasn't just alone time, but it became a way of running away from each other.

While they were drifting from each other, their friends continued on to have healthy, stable relationships. Magnus and Alec had the means to see each other often. Isabelle and Simon continued to have a relationship that brinked the border of being together and best friends. Mari and Jon started with long distance, so they were able to continue to work on it, to get better at it, and of course, Jon would sometimes send her plane tickets as a way of saying he needed to see her, or he would just show up at her front door. But they handled it.

It was another reason that Jace was irritated, because unlike their friends, Clary started to become her own business, which didn't leave as much time with their relationship.

Clary closed her eyes, and could see his apartment in London so clearly. It was the last trip she took there. They spent the weekend being snippy with each other, which Clary hated because they had so little time together that she hated wasting it. And one simply snippy comment from her about watching TV made Jace stand up and start to complain.

He pointed out the obvious with her wasting her trip there if they weren't on good terms, which turned into her accusing him of not even wanting her there. Then it turned into an argument of how this was her fourth time in London when he hadn't been to New York in months. Clary's shoulders jumped when he told her he spent the first six months going there for her, and the only times she went to London in that time was either because she had business there, or if The Elite Four was going too.

Clary inwardly cringed on the train when she could hear their conversation.

"Why do I have to choose?" Clary stood up. "Why does it matter if I come here for work, when you go to New York all the time for work?" She pointed at herself. "Why do I have to choose? Because you're the actual artist here?"

Jace shook his head. "Don't." He put a finger against his temple. "I moved to New York for you."

"Moved to New York for me? You're never there," Clary said with such determination, she thought she would've won their ridiculous argument.

Jace looked up, making direct eye contact with her when he said, "Yeah, well, neither are you."

And Clary opened her eyes. The fight ended there because he was right. He wasn't wrong that Clary wasn't home in New York if she didn't need to, which was often, but it was still true. She even missed him being there once or twice. Clary shook her head. She sighed and finally paid attention to the song playing through her headphones to try and take her mind off the subject.

There is a difference from being in love with somebody and loving somebody, you can love anybody, but when you love somebody you take that person for what he or she looks like and what he or she do….

Clary knew the conversation well. It was at the end of the "Doo Wop (That Thing)" song by Lauryn Hill. She never skipped the part with the kids at the end after the songs on the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill album. Sometimes, she appreciated them the most. Sometimes, she found comfort in their conversations the most.

As quick as you fall in love you can fall out of love, but you will never stop loving that person.

Clary kept her eyes to the floor, knowing what the next girl would be saying.

Maybe sometimes some people have never been loved before or never been in love before, so they don't know what the feeling is to be loved.

---

As Jace approached his apartment door, he could already hear music playing so loud that it was spilling into the hallway. He reached for his keys in his pocket and unlocked the door. He raised an eyebrow when he walked in and no one was in the living room, listening to the vinyl that was playing. Sitting down in the middle of the couch, Jace stared at the city view before him and just leaned his head against the back of the couch.

Do you mean what you say when you say that you love me?

With all honesty, I think I love you

It's every day I think about how special we could be

And how your love is everything to me

In my mind I can see no one but you

Like in my dreams I know I'm holdin' you

So now tell me the truth 'cause I need to know

See I want to take control but you gotta let me know

He closed his eyes and sang along with the chorus, a repeat of don't fool me baby and sure hope you mean it. He heard a creak from the floorboard and looked up to see Dylan walk out of his room, his attention strictly on his phone.

"I could easily be a burglar."

And with that, Dylan's phone flew up in the air, and he scrambled to pick it up in the air.

"That was like a cartoon." Jace sat up, amused now.

Dylan took a deep breath when he finally held his phone in his two hands. He closed his eyes. "Just because you look like a cat doesn't mean you can go around walking like one."

"I look like a cat?"

Dylan opened his eyes and rolled them. "I don't know." He sat down and looked at Jace. "Welcome home, buddy."

Jace exhaled dramatically. "Thank you." He reached forward to grab a cigarette. He lit it and threw the lighter back on the table.

"How long has it been?"

Jace winced. "I have no idea."

"Oh, that long."

Jace took a long drag. "Yeah." And then he blew the smoke out. He grabbed Dylan's phone and looked at the time. "I should get going. Just wanted to drop off my stuff."

"Mm."

Jace paused and side-eyed him. "What 'mm'?"

Dylan shrugged. "Nothing. Just 'mm' because I wouldn't wanna go around the city being famous, carrying my stuff like a nomad."

Jace's shoulders relaxed. "Oh."

"Or 'mm, you're about to have a con-ver-sa-tion out on that park bench in Central Park.'"

Jace huffed. "That's the 'mm' I was talking about."

"Mm."

"Dylan," Jace warned.

Dylan put his hands up. "All my 'mm' means is what you think it means." Jace groaned. "That doesn't make it better?"

"No, not at all."

Jace reached for a pillow on the couch and threw it at Dylan's face. Dylan screeched and, when he looked over the pillow, Jace just closed the door.

Dylan shook his head. "Mm."

---

Clary crossed her legs as she sat on the bench. Their bench. Even though they hadn't recovered from their fight and were barely talking, Jace and Clary still agreed to meet for the first day of Autumn. She had her phone in front of her, her headphones in, while she started to watch a video on Jace's Youtube.

About a month ago, Dylan, Simon, Jonathan, and Alec all went to London to see Jace. They knew that Clary and Jace were barely on speaking terms, and they hadn't seen Jace in so long, they decided to take a trip there. And during that trip, they posted a video that apparently Jace wrote while Dylan and Simon composed the music. They wrote it after coming home from a night of drinking, and they recorded the video the next day. Dylan played drums, Simon played guitar, Alec was bass, Jace sang on a bar stool in the middle of them all, while Jonathan opted to record it and just watched.

And it was one of the most viewed videos on Youtube since that day.

The song was brilliant, and Clary watched it multiple times daily. It may have hurt her heart and provided comfort at the same time, but she watched it so often because she simply loved the song, and she would smile just seeing the boys she loved on one screen, playing together.

Clary tapped her foot against the concrete to the sound of the drums, watching as Jace closed his eyes. He looked like a mess. They all did. It was clear that they hadn't slept the night before, and they just threw on jeans and a t-shirt. Simon didn't even bother to change his pajama pants, and Clary felt like it added to the vulnerability to it.

You may say, our lives have changed.

But baby, I promise that we're still the same.

And the leaves are falling quicker,

Like a raindrop in the spring.

I think it's your love that I cannot believe.

Give me attention.

Give me some time.

You see, your love is just so dangerous.

It should be a crime.

To notice when you're leaving me without any sounds.

Your love is just so dangerous, sometimes.

Isabelle was furious. She thought that it was disrespectful of Jace to write this song about Clary, because honestly, it wasn't completely on her side. It brought up questions to the fans of where their relationship was. But it didn't phase Clary. Because it could've easily been her lyrics too. They were both guilty of the lyrics. That's what made it beautiful, and real. And even though people speculated, Jace or Clary never confirmed or denied it. It didn't matter anyway, because it meant something to them.

Oh, I know this might sound selfish,

But I love you by yourself.

When it comes to your affection,

You'd rather be with someone else.

And my tears are falling quicker,

Like a snowflake in the winter.

I just wish I had the better side of your heart.

It was a public plea. And Clary answered it. She ended up texting him that night, which turned into a phone call. And even though they were on a good schedule of talking a couple days after that, it went back to them barely talking. They never brought it up, or tried to change it, because somehow they both just knew that they just had to see each other. With the fear of something changing between them, or it still being as they are, they just knew they had to see each other in person.

Give me attention.

Give me some time.

You see, your love is just so dangerous.

I said god damn, your love's so dangerous.

It should be a crime.

Your love is just so dangerous, sometimes.

Clary found comfort in the song, and she knew, somehow, that Jace was listening just as frequently as she was. As the song ended, Clary heard rustling around her and she looked up. She spotted fans from far away, whispering to each other while glancing at her. That was the thing about fans- they try to be discreet and respectful but whispering and staring rather than just saying hello always got her attention more so. But the smiles on their faces made Clary stand up and try to spot the familiar head of hair down The Mall of Central Park.

It was the first day of Autumn, and today, that meant more than just her tradition, because at some point last year she and Jace decided to make this their new tradition.

She could see him craning his neck, just as she was doing, only she was at more of a disadvantage being that she could barely see past the person standing in front her. But she caught a glimpse of his hair, and her breath caught, her heart slightly stopped before it sped up from excitement. And as if they were at the end of their own dumb romantic comedy, the crowd parted and they smiled at one another. Clary reached for her stuff on the bench, not breaking eye contact with the boy who began to run towards her.

In a rush, just like they did that first day, they crashed into one another, in a mess of arms wrapped around one another, Clary's feet being lifted off the ground as she was, and she swore she almost heard a clap in the background.

Jace set her back down on the ground, and shook his head. "Did my voice get deeper?" he asked, making her flash right back into the moment she said it to him.

"No," she answered, and shook her head, too. "We need to stop doing that."

"Never. It's so cheesy, and it's the cheesiest you'll ever get with me." She let out a laugh, and jumped a little to hug him again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Enough, enough. That's the end of that." He squeezed her back.

And she knew he was right. That it was the end of that hurdle they faced in the past year of so many changes. She knew it the moment she felt excitement knowing he must be around. It was the way her worries melted when she saw him smile back at her. And as the crisp breeze blew past her when she was running, she knew that they had conquered whatever they were going through. They might not have found a solution, but she knew she found the hope to keep going. She knew they both did. With such clarity, she thought, if a decade of absence couldn't stop us, why think that this would?

"Alright," Jace said, lacing his fingers through hers. "Let's get out of here. I can feel a mob start to surround, and I swear I heard an applause out there, didn't you?" He looked around them, and smiled, waving slightly to those staring as he pulled her along. "Smile, nod, and run, Clarissa."

---

Clary sat beside Jace, who immediately grabbed her guitar from the kitchen island after throwing his stuff onto the floor. She picked it up while rolling her eyes, and placed it on the couch as she sat down. He pulled her legs to rest on top of his and he began to slowly strum his guitar. Clary smiled a little and closed her eyes as she listened.

We used to sing, 'We had it all'

And record it on our phones,

But when I listen back now, it's just out of tune

And it's hard to believe because we hardly touch our skin

How did we end up here?

So out of sync

She opened her eyes and glanced at him for a second. She could see in the way that he closed his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows that he missed it. She knew he was creating music, that he was writing songs, but she knew it pained him not to be able to record an album and get them out there to the public. Watching him, she barely heard the chorus but she could hear the second verse clearly. She smiled sadly at him.

All of the letters that you sent to me

Said that we'd stay the same for as long as we breathe

And we'd shrug off two weeks of rain on our honeymoon

But now you fall asleep in the other room

And maybe all the lies were truer than we know

And maybe anti clockwise is the only antidote

And I can't stop dreaming of the night when we begun

And the songs that we wrote when we were drunk

And the songs that we wrote when we were drunk

Her heart ached. And not because she knew this song was about them.

We had it all

We had it all

We had it all

We had it all

We had it all

If anything, she wanted to cry because she knew they overcame it. She smiled now because she knew that even though they went through so much in the past couple months, it brought everything into perspective and they proved to themselves how important music was to them both. It proved how important writing music was to them, and it was always a release. It was never to point the finger at one another.

"Really inspired these days?" she asked, and he immediately stopped and gripped the neck of the guitar.

"Fuck," he whispered.

She put a hand on his shoulder. "No, it's okay. I just meant that this song is incredible. I mean, I know what it's about. It's beautiful. I'm sorry I interrupted you."

"I forgot what I was singing about." He opened his eyes. "It feels far away already."

"I know." She nodded. "It does."

He glanced at her. "Are we okay?" She nodded again. "I know it feels that way, but are we ignoring it? Giving into the first day of Autumn?"

She smiled a little. "I don't think so. I feel hopeful. And strong enough to fight again." She put her legs back over his. "Isn't that all we needed?"

He returned the smile, and leaned his head back, beginning to strum again.

"When can you start recording again?" she asked, leaning the side of her face against the couch and stared at him.

"Soon," he responded quietly. "Officially by November, but Jordan is trying to figure out a way that I can start in October." He sighed. "So, soon."

"Maybe an album recorded in your apartment at home would be perfect," she suggested. "It would be an acoustic album of original songs. I think that's amazing."

He rolled his eyes. "In a third of the songs, you can hear Dylan screaming at his video games in the background."

"I think that brings a real life effect into it all."

"It's a little too real life when he's screaming suck it, Simon!" Clary pursed her lips together. "Oh, no need to stop your chuckle, you can hear your evil cackle in the background of those songs, too."

Clary smiled until a memory flashed in her mind after remembering days of him trying to record songs in his London apartment. They were all there—everyone from The Elite Four, Dylan, and even Mari had made that important trip for support. They were standing outside of a pub. Everyone else was looking around and Clary was staring at the door as if she could see through the blackened windows. She was well aware that she could be seen from inside looking like a crazy ass, but she didn't care. She could feel his heart racing. She could feel his anger boiling. And she could feel his heart breaking.

The door swung open and quickly she rushed to the entrance, holding the door open for Jace, and his mother right behind him.

"So great catching up with you, love!" she told Jace in a voice that was too loud, too pitchy, too fake. Clary shot daggers out of her eyes at her. You don't catch up with your son like he's an acquaintance, Clary thought. She wanted to push her into the street.

"Yeah, you too, Mum." Jace gave a very small, very sad smile that she probably didn't even notice. He hugged her back, and she waved at the group, her eyes behind large sunglasses as she disappeared around the corner.

The group stood there, not saying anything, not asking how it went because they already knew. Clary simply stepped up to Jace and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back, burying his face in her neck while she held him and rubbed his back in comfort. She didn't know how long they were there hugging on a busy sidewalk. She only could hear Jonathan say they would meet them back at the hotel, Simon saying he was so sorry, and Isabelle saying fuck her as she put a hand on Jace's back before they left.

When Jace finally let go of the hug, Clary searched for his eyes to find hers and she whispered, "I love you."

And he placed a hand on the right side of her face as he said, in the softest voice, "I love you too. You're all I have."

Clary's shoulders jumped as she was brought back to reality when they could hear loud talking in the hallway. The two looked over the couch and the door opened, and they could see everyone clearly giving Jonathan a dirty look.

"I'm not doing a group stage dive," Alec said firmly.

"That sounds insanely dangerous for us all to jump at the same time," Simon agreed.

"Nope. Last time I did a stage dive, my drum sticks poked Stewart in the eye." Isabelle shrugged.

"Well, you weren't supposed to bring your sticks with you," Simon whispered under his breath.

Isabelle threw her bag onto the floor and Clary glared. Isabelle turned to her left when she finally noticed them and put her hands over her mouth. "You're here!"

"I am!" Clary declared and stood up, opening her arms up for a hug. Isabelle shot her the same dirty look she gave Jonathan, and Clary frowned. "That's a strong look today."

"Move, dummy!" Jonathan lightly pushed Clary onto the couch and joined in hugging Jace. Simon and Alec followed while Clary stood up and hugged the whole group. "Funny how you're standing on something and still the same height as us."

"Ugh. You all suck." Clary let go, and jumped down to clean everyone's stuff that they threw on the floor.

---

Jace watched as Clary smoothly handed Alec a blank envelope. He stared at Alec as he walked off into Clary's room, and shut the door. Jace followed him and turned the doorknob slowly.

Alec was already staring at him when he finally poked his head in. Jace jumped a little, and Alec raised an eyebrow.

"You snuck in here, and you're the one jumping?"

"Heh." Jace shrugged, and closed the door behind him. "What are you doing? It looked like you and Clary were conspiring in a drug deal."

"Funny you think that." Alec held up a paper in one hand and a phone in another. "The phone bill. I check every month on this phone. It has Jonathan's contacts backed up into it."

Jace sat down on Clary's bed. "Oh."

"Oh?"

Jace shrugged. "No, I mean, that's good. I just didn't realize—"

"That we still check up on him?" Alec smiled sadly. "We can only trust a former drug addict to a certain point, you know?" Alec looked down. "One day we won't have to, I'm sure. I actually look forward to the day I don't have to use Clary's key to come in here and check his room because let me tell you, boys are messy, and it's just not my favorite part of the week."

"Weekly?"

"If we're in town." Alec looked out the window. "I'm actually helping Clary. She was doing this by herself at first. But I came here one day and she went running into her room so I was thinking maybe she was…I don't know. I ran after her, though."

Jace gulped. "Do you really think he's still gonna use?"

Alec shrugged. "There's a lot of changes going on. A lot of stress. Clary and Mari aren't always around to help Jonathan when he's down. And I just think…I don't know. If drugs comforted him before, how could he forget about it completely?"

Jace looked down. "Yeah." He looked up, pursing his lips together. "I get that."

Alec looked taken aback, and his eyes furrowed for a moment. "Do you? I mean, you've had a lot going on."

"No," Jace answered immediately. "But I'd be lying if it never crossed my mind."

Alec sighed a little, his eyes holding the sympathy that Jace hated to see. "Yeah."

"Um." Jace shifted and then leaned against the wall. "Do you, um, do you check up on—"

"Clary?" Alec looked up at him. "Yeah. I try." He glanced back down at the phone bill. "But she knows all the secrets, so sometimes she just tells me."

"Tell you if she's using?"

Alec blinked from Jace's tone—full of worry, and sadness. "Yeah, I mean, it's not what Jonathan was using." Alec paused and closed his eyes for a moment. "I mean, she just tells me what happens when she goes out. She tells you the same things, I'm sure."

Jace nodded. "Right. I mean, I didn't know if she was just telling you something more, or just, I don't know. Just something more."

Alec smiled now. "I feel like she'd probably tell her best friend more than she tells an older brother."

Jace let out a laugh. "I'm sure Isabelle heard that somewhere. Or Simon."

Alec stood up now. "She's okay, Jace. You're both okay." He squeezed Jace's shoulder before he left the room, and Jace stared forward. He turned around when someone knocked at the door.

Looking behind her, Isabelle tiptoed into the room, and turned around as she slowly closed it. She turned to face him and he raised an eyebrow.

"Way to not be suspicious," he mumbled and sat on Clary's bed.

She shrugged. "I don't know what people would be thinking, seeing us meet up in Clary's room."

He blinked. "They could think we're friends and are talking." He glanced away from her. "Nevermind, they'd think we're planning something."

"Did you and Clary talk?" She asked. "Is everything okay? Finally better after you two stopped traveling the world to hide from one another?"

Jace smiled a little now. "Much."

"Good." She reached into the pocket of her leather jacket, and held out a red box. "Then are we planning something?"

Jace jumped up, and almost tripped on the books Clary had on the floor. "Isabelle," he yelled in a whisper. He took the box and put it in his own back pocket. "What are you doing?"

Isabelle stomped her foot. "Aren't you tired of just thinking about this?" She crossed her arms. "Because I'm tired of carrying this around for you. It's been months, and now that you've finally seen each other and are undeniably in love, as I figured by the way, then I think it's a perfect time. Album release day, c'mon! First day of autumn, c'mon!"

Jace opened his mouth but Clary knocked and opened the door slowly. "It's very odd knocking the door in my own room." She looked between them. "Is everything okay?"

"Great!" They replied together.

Clary narrowed her eyes at them. "Actually…" Isabelle put a hand on Jace's shoulder. "I was asking him if he spoke to his mom recently."

Jace narrowed his eyes now and side-eyed Isabelle. "Um. Yeah. She was."

Clary gasped a little and then closed the door behind her. "Have you spoken to her?" The way Clary was coy on her current standing with Valentine, Jace was the same, so she was immediately concerned if he was bringing up his mom to Isabelle.

"Um." Jace cleared his throat loudly—his way of letting Isabelle know he was annoyed at her. Isabelle simply batted her eyes at him and waited for an answer. "A little. She called me last week. Just asked how I was and everything."

Clary grinned now. "Jace, that's great."

"Yeah, that's amazing, Jace." Jace looked at Isabelle, still unamused.

"Uh huh." He pointed at the door. "We should get out there. Before people start thinking we're keeping secrets."

"We are!" Isabelle clapped once. "But I get it—no secrets in this group."

Clary turned around and opened the door, walking out while Isabelle tried to follow and Jace tripped her slightly. She caught herself and pointed. "I saved your ass." She reached out to touch his shoulder. "And I'm really happy your mom called you, Jace."

Jace stood there as Isabelle left. He took a deep breath, fully aware of the jewelry box in his back pocket and he rolled his eyes. "How am I supposed to walk out there with this in my pocket, Isabelle? Have you got any idea, Isabelle?" He closed his eyes and cracked his neck. He made his way to Clary's closet, took a hoodie—his own, he realized—and pulled it over his head. He almost crashed into Clary as he put the box in the pocket and he pursed his lips.

"I'm so cold." He laughed and he watched as she flinched from how high pitched his laugh was. His smile faded and he carefully walked around her.

---

Once the group settled down and had lunch together, they made their way to The Knitting Factory to start soundcheck. Dylan and Clary sat in the back and watched as they all tuned their instruments, including Jace, who would perform a few acoustic songs as an opening act.

Dylan looked over at Clary. "Is everything okay between you two?"

Clary didn't look over at him. "As if he didn't text you the whole interaction."

Dylan shrugged. "It's hard to be the middle best friend of best friends."

She made a face. "I think you're just his best friend now." She looked over to see Dylan absentmindedly smiling.

"It's nice to be the best friend of an international superstar. A lot more boring that I thought it would be, honestly. I thought it'd be more exciting, but he stays home like an old man. Maybe it's because he's already lived that life, and he's all in love now and he doesn't wanna be anywhere but with you, you know? Ugh, boring." He shrugged and Clary just stared at him. He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I'm glad you two are okay. We all knew that it'd be okay. You just needed some space and time to realize it."

"That's what I've been hearing." Clary looked down for a moment. "Silly of us, I guess. Real reasons, but silly to think it'd beat us."

Dylan chuckled. "Yeah, you two are idiots." And, in reply, Clary nudged him so hard he almost fell over. She looked over her shoulder when the door opened and Bat gave her a nod.

She walked over to him and pointed towards the bar. "Is he here?"

"Yes, Miss Clary." Bat opened the door for her and she walked through, immediately seeing Valentine sitting at the bar. Riley was standing across from him, cleaning a beer glass, with a glare on his face.

"Right." Clary walked away. She pursed her lips together. "Valentine."

He did the same smile in return. "Clarissa." He glanced at Riley and continued to look uncomfortable.

"We should talk outside." Valentine nodded and when his back was turned, Clary grabbed some peanuts from a bowl and threw it at Riley. "Cut it out," she mouthed. In return, Riley sulked and turned around to watch the band behind him through the clear glass windows. Once she got outside, Clary thanked the street noise of Brooklyn to fill in any awkward silences. She opened her mouth to speak but could feel someone behind her. She turned and saw Bat standing there above her, looking down at Valentine. "It's—it's okay, Bat." He gave her a nod and walked back inside.

Valentine smiled slightly. "You are very well protected."

"It might've been for your protection," Clary blurted so quickly that she was shocked as she watched Valentine look down and shift his weight to his other foot, his hands in his pocket. Clary cleared her throat. She started to have some type of contact with Valentine but obviously it still wasn't rainbows and butterflies. "Thanks for flying in today."

Valentine looked up. She could tell he became a little more reserved. While Clary felt a little bad, she knew she wasn't ready for him to joke around with her just yet, and she would've been more upset to let him be that way with her. "Of course. I wouldn't miss it. Thank you for the invitation." He looked up at the sign of the venue. "Does, um, do they—"

"They all know."

"Even Jonathan?"

Clary nodded. "Yes. I continuously make sure he's aware."

"Great." Valentine smiled genuinely. "Thank you, Clarissa."

"Yeah." She returned the smile, but staring into his eyes, she could feel the familiar feeling of being pulled between the two emotions of being relieved that he's alive, and the emotion of being mad at him. Being mad at him had lessened, but it overpowered any emotions of relief. Clary couldn't imagine a time when it wouldn't. She took a deep breath because it was definitely different then them texting each other. "Here." She held her hand out, one that had a ticket and a CD.

"Oh." Valentine took the ticket and looked at the CD. "Thank you, but I'd like to buy that. Many of them, actually."

Clary retreated her hand. "Oh." She took a step back. "Right. Um, I need to get back but thank you for coming, again." She made eye contact with him one more time, and he smiled a little in return. She turned and stopped. She looked over at him. "You'll enjoy the show. The album is really great."

He grinned now. "I can't wait."

She gave him a nod, and walked inside. She took a deep breath and walked forward. When she could see the bar, she could see a beer and Riley held it out. She took it from him with a little laugh, and he threw some peanuts at her. She closed her eyes when he did, and she muttered, "rude."

"You would know," he remarked before turning away.

---

Clary threw her head back laughing as the girl in front of her did the same. Clary snorted, shaking her head. "I'm sorry." She took a deep breath and stared at the ground. "Wow. Jonathan's gonna kill me for telling you that story."

"Oh!" The girl looked alarmed. "I can completely take that out of the interview. It'll be off the record."

"No." Clary turned her gaze to her. "Keep it. I'll take the hit for that gem." Without helping it, Clary glanced at the clock on the wall and closed her eyes. "I'm so sorry, it's the manager in me."

"No, it's me! I took too much of your time."

"Anna, let me tell you, this interview has been a relief. I've been…" Clary stared at her shoes for a moment, and then looked up softly at the girl looking at her with sympathetic eyes. Clary had gotten deeper into the interview than she wanted to. She couldn't help but give lengthy answers when Anna was asking her questions about how Clary might have chosen to be behind the music because she was already in front of the camera as a child. Or how she felt to have been overseen as a girlfriend rather than a songwriter-producer. Or how it felt to push through businessmen who wouldn't take her seriously as a manager because she was young and a woman. Or even how it felt to navigate a relationship with her family, boyfriend, and friends when she had spent so much of the year working. Anna was asking everything Clary needed to answer, and it brought the greatest release to talk about it in a way that she knew people could relate to. Because as she told Anna in the middle of the interview, our lives can seem so different, but the emotions and insecurities, and finding validity in oneself can feel all the same.

"I've been too busy for my own good. Thank you for getting me out of my own head for a little bit."

Anna smiled just as sweetly back at Clary, and she placed her phone in the middle of them again. They had been talking for 45 minutes and Clary forgot what she was so nervous about. It was her first interview just on her own. Jace offered to be in the room with her even though he and the band had their own interviews, but she wanted to do this on her own. And also save the interviewer from more nervousness.

"Alright." Clary put her hands on her knees. "We've got ten more minutes before my brother demands my attention with his diva behavior. What do you have for me?"

"A lightning round! Only five so it'll be fast."

Clary closed her eyes. "Hit me."

Anna grinned before she looked down at her paper. "Last movie you watched?"

"Begin Again."

"What show have you been watching?"

"Peaky Blinders. I have the dumbest crush on Thomas Shelby."

"What book are you currently reading?"

"Normal People by Sally Rooney."

"Last song you listened to?"

"Tell Me by Groove Theory. With Riley at the bar, and we were dancing around. I'm callin' you out, Riley."

Anna laughed. "And final question. Who has Jace hung out with that you wish you could hang out with?"

"Harry Styles," Clary answered without missing a beat. "It's honestly like me and Dylan aren't allowed to meet him. Jace is being so selfish."

---

"Hey," Clary said poking her head into the dressing room after having a quick shot with Anna at the bar. The band looked up at her from their phones, and she rolled her eyes. "Ugh. I thought you were doing a shot for camaraderie or something interesting, but being on your phones? Please."

Mari frowned and looked at Isabelle. "I feel so scolded."

"She has that effect on people," Isabelle whispered back.

"Well, come on. Up, up. Jace is starting." Clary opened the door wide now.

"And if we don't want to watch your boyfriend perform?" Jonathan asked, chuckling a little until he was met with the offended stare of every single person. He cleared his throat. "Sorry, I felt like a jackass the moment I said it."

"Right," Clary muttered as they all filed out of the room.

"Alright," Jace whispered into the mic and cringed when he got feedback. He stared into the lights. "Sorry." He smirked, still staring down at his guitar as he tuned. "I'm so nervous up here."

"Liar!" Jonathan yelled from the railings, in the balcony above the crowd. Jace grinned. And Jonathan followed it up with, "cutie pie!"

"Nothing like Jonathan Morgenstern flirting with you to take the nerves away," Jace said into the mic. He squared his shoulders and checked behind him for his band who were set up and smiling back at him. "This is 'Whisper' and I hope you've missed it as much as I've missed playing it."

Clary smiled to herself, and Mari nudged her.

"You know, I remember when I first heard this song," Mari told her. "First, I thought he was brilliant for going for a completely different sound than your parents. But I also remember thinking that he must've been laying it all out there for someone. And how much he regrets it."

Clary crossed her arms. She shook her head. "I tried to ignore his entire existence."

"Oh." Mari pursed her lips.

"But this song was hard to ignore." Mari nudged her again and the two leaned on each other. "He looks so happy up there."

"I'm sure this time has been tough for him."

"The toughest." Clary looked down at the crowd, swaying to the music. "But I'm sure this reminds him."

"This. You." Mari nudged. "My favorite ship is a strong ship."

Clary looked over at Jonathan, who was dramatically swaying, his arm around Alec, snapping his fingers to the beat. "So is mine." She leaned her head on Mari's shoulder. "But let me know when he starts to act like a fool. I'll take care of him for you." Mari laughed when she punched her open palm with her right fist. Jonathan looked over, and in response, Clary repeated the action.

---

Jace cleared his throat in the mic and the crowd screamed, making his eyes go wide. He did it again, and the crowd roared. He put his hands in the air, cleared it for a third time, and laughed when the crowd went crazy.

"That was beautiful. And so are all of you. And I hate to have to leave you, but this is my last song of the night." The crowd made a noise of disapproval and he frowned. "I know! I know. But, that also means my family is up next, and I can not fucking wait for you all to hear what they've been working on." He looked to the side of the stage. "Sorry for the cursing, Jordan. I'm just prepping them for Jonathan."

Jace tuned his guitar quickly. "Okay, I'll be leaving you with a new song. A favorite of mine. It's called 'Running' and I can not thank you enough for your love tonight. I'll be seeing you all soon."

The crowd silenced when the lights that lit up the stage turned blue and dimmed. Jace closed his eyes, and Jace's voice echoed in the venue with only a couple piano keystrokes to accompany his first verse.

When my heart is ready to burst,

When the world spins in reverse

I'll keep running

To the place where I belong

His eyes opened as the lights slowly brightened, and the band behind him lightly joined in.

When you go, to turn down the light

No one's here to hold you in the night

I'll keep running

To the place where I belong

When you think you're on your own

I'm still coming home

"What the fuck," Simon whispered and Dylan leaned to look at his face, concerned. "I think I'm going to cry."

Dylan stood up straight as he rolled his eyes in relief, but he responded, "Same."

When our picture fades in the sun

And all the colors blur into one

I'll keep running

To the place where I belong

When you think you're on your own

I'm still coming home

Jonathan shook his head. "This is by far the best song ever written about you," Jonathan told Clary, and then looked at Dylan. "Sorry, Dyl."

Dylan shrugged. "I wish this song was written about me."

"Same," Simon followed.

"Same," Jonathan echoed.

When your hope gets blinded

When you fold with the cards

No, I'll never stop fighting

To get to where you are

Clary rolled her eyes at them but once the bridge hit, she cleared her throat, and began to sing along to the lyrics.

Wherever we go

Wherever we go

Wherever we go

Wherever we go

Wherever we go

Wherever we go

When the lights are faded to black

Only stars are guiding me back

I'll keep running

To the place where I belong

"Fuck. I'm gone." Isabelle tilted her head back, trying to keep the tears that were forming from falling.

"Same." Mari shook her head, and followed the action.

When you think you're on your own

I'm still coming home

When you think you're on your own

I'm still coming home

"Same," Clary whispered, shaking her head as Jace ended the song and the crowd screamed so loud that the balcony shook.

---

"Was it really that smart of us to have an international superstar be our opener?" Simon asked after sliding on his guitar. "I mean, was it really that smart?"

"Yes!" Jace argued handing Isabelle her drum sticks. "The idea is perfect, and so are you."

"Don't talk to me. I still want to cry from your set." Simon turned away from Jace, who frowned.

"How's it looking, Clary?" Alec looked up from his bass. He smiled genuinely. "Good?"

"Amazing. The crowd is ready, Stewart is here, and other than Z100 up in the balcony, it feels just like a Knitting Factory show. Only you know, sold out, and an opening show for your debut album."

Jonathan looked at Clary, panicked, while she jumped up and down, clapping her hands. "Shut up, Clarissa! Could you psyche us out even more, please?"

She grabbed Jace's arm, dragging him to the side of the stage. "I love you all. You're gonna kill it."

The two ran alongside the crowds who roared as they rushed to make it to the balcony. Out of breath after running up the steps, the two slipped in-between Dylan and Magnus, who was standing next to Jordan.

Clary looked over at Jordan when he reached to squeeze her hand. He was standing beside Maia who was leaning towards Jocelyn, Luke, and Stephen. "Brilliant, Clarissa. You're brilliant and beautiful and badass."

"Ohh, what a set of B's, Jordy."

He grinned. "I can't be more thankful to have watched this show a year ago, Clary."

She squeezed his hand. "I can't be either, Jordan. Thank you for everything."

He let go of her hand and Clary closed her eyes when Dylan began shaking her shoulders.

The lights dimmed and the whole crowd screamed, including everyone on the balcony.

Magnus shook his head. "This electricity." Jace nodded, his face looking like it hurt from smiling. "They're just starting." He leaned into Jace. "And you're going to be back on that stage. Bigger, and freer than before."

Jace looked over at him. "Thank you, Magnus. Promise to do my hair and pick my clothes forever?"

"Until we're old and wrinkly, pumpkin."

"Well, not always." Jace shrugged. "Since you're ditching me for this tour."

Magnus glared a little. "Don't try to make me feel guilty. At least they will be enjoying my help with hair and wardrobe."

"I mean, will they really?" Jace looked over at Clary, who was already making a face.

"Well, everyone else but that one." Magnus ignored them now and faced forward. "I swear, a monochromatic match in heaven."

With that, the curtains opened, and in a second Jonathan sang into the mic, shocking the crowd with the immediate start.

I'm a realist and an optimist

But I swear to you, I'm not getting over this

Jonathan sang out oh! and just like that, the lights beamed down onto the stage to catch Simon and Alec jump into the air and hit the stage in sync with Isabelle's drumsticks echoing their actions.

"Nooo!" Jace screamed while he and Magnus held onto each other like they saw just a magic trick. "They did not just fucking start the show like that."

Walking tall in a small town

Full of yourself when you're feeling down

And that's all that matters to you

"They did." Dylan shook his head. "They really fucking did."

I've had enough of all the talk on how you're saving me

Talk like you're self assured but all you are is history

Speak slow, I want you to know that

I'm a realist and an optimist

But I swear to you, I'm not getting over this

"Isabelle is shining in this song. She's so good," Mari said while shaking her head in awe. She had been since the song started.

"I know." Clary mumbled. "She rocks this entire album. As if she wasn't already the hottest woman on the planet.

"Clary." Mari held her hand. "This." She pointed at the stage. "This is a whole other level. This is fucking legendary."

Clary grinned and in response, she started to jump and sing along.

Fall back in line, it's too much to expose

It's your design and that's the way it goes

I think I know my limits, and how to make good decisions

It hits home, so just go

After shimmying a little after the bridge and wooing to Simon spinning with his guitar on the stage, Clary looked behind Dylan when someone tapped her shoulder. She leaned in when Elvis Duran began to yell out to her. "I know we're one song into the show but I needed to tell you that this tour is going to have The Elite Four go worldwide. I mean it, Clary."

Clary turned to look at the lights dancing across the stage and the arms waving in the air to the music. She turned back to Elvis. "Agreed." She gave him a nod. "Thank you for all the support, Elvis."

Elvis put his hands up. "It's been an honor to have helped."

With that, he squeezed her shoulder and made his way back to his group while Clary faced forward and Dylan was smirking down at her. He nudged her. "You ready to be managing a worldwide sensation?" He leaned down.

She let out one big ha. "No."

Dylan looked forward watching the entire crowd move along to the music. "Far from normal."

"Were we ever?"

He smiled slightly. "No. I'm glad you finally let go of that idea. You were never meant to be normal."

The two stared at the stage, not singing along, or even moving. Staring as the band started their next song. Thinking how incredible the band was doing and both reveling in the surrealness of their presence.

Did we ever know where we were going?

Every time I turned around, just another ghost

Misreading every feeling

You would think I had the worst intentions

It was all fun and games but you'll never know

In clear view I could hear you.

"Welp. You'll be gone a lot," Dylan said. "So, I'll get Jace on my own. That's nice"

Clary pursed her lips. "Hm. Spoken like a true mistress."

Dylan huffed and then pointed at the band. "You know, they're so professional now. Transitioning into the next song without Jonathan having to obnoxiously speak. It's great."

"I know. It's amazing."

Clary screamed when Jace grabbed her and spun her around. She laughed when he screamed 'who knew we were lightning' from the second song the band was singing. Dylan simply smiled and crossed his arms as he watched them.

"Is he drunk?" Magnus asked.

"Drunk in love."

He looked over at Dylan slowly, amused. "You know, you're the softest motherfucker I know, and I really admire that."

Dylan sighed. "I am the softest motherfucker."

"Yes, you are. And I love it. I can't believe Jace punched you in the face, you sweet boy."

With that, Dylan frowned, and the two turned to the stage.

---

Luke looked over at Jace and Clary singing in each other's face, and he and Jocelyn laughed. He put an arm around her.

"How are you feeling, mama?"

She put her hand on his and he hugged her. She nodded and looked up to face him. "Proud."

"Me, too." He kissed her forehead. "Even though they're still little kids running on the stage in my eyes."

She shook her head, and looked at Clary and Jace who were now holding each other's arms and jumping in a circle. "Mine, too."

"I can't believe I haven't heard this yet!" Jace said as the two began to watch. "I mean, I can't even believe it made it to the album."

"Why not?" Clary shrugged. "It's a damn good song." She nudged him. "You wrote a rock song. How do you feel about that?"

Jace grinned at her. He remembered the day it happened. It was soon after he came back from tour. He was listening to what the band had so far, his eyes closed, drumming along to the music. He shook his head.

"I wish I could write songs like this." Jace opened his eyes, his head leaned back against the couch, and he looked to his right at Clary who had a notebook in front of her to make any notes. "I'm just all soul and coolness."

Clary rolled her eyes. "Yeah, bad place to be."

"Yeah, but this." He extended his hands in front of him to her laptop playing the music. "It's so much tied together to make something amazing."

Clary paused for a moment. "You do this, too." He responded with a meh. She rolled her eyes. "Well, why don't you write one of these?"

"Very funny."

She sat forward. "No, I mean it. Come on, let's write one together. You can do this, too."

The two moved from side to side in unison as Alec and Simon nodded as they shared solos from across the stage before the bridge.

Now it's all making sense

In time we would find it

I was caught in suspense

But with you I'm reminded

It's real now.

In the moment, Jace pulled Clary over to him and held her to his side. He kissed the top of her head and joined Clary in throwing in their hand in the air as they sang out.

Who knew we were lightning?

I saw a spark before we heard any sound

If you look my way instead

We can make this permanent

Is there something waiting to be found?

There's still something waiting to be found

Who knew we were.

---

"Badass," Jonathan whispered into the mic. "You're all badass." He moved his guitar behind him and raised up his arms. "New York City!" He grinned ear to ear when the screams that greeted him shook the entire room. He looked behind him at Isabelle who couldn't help but laugh. "Amazing. I will never tire of those screams after those words." He put his hands on the mic. "We can't tell you how excited we've been to let you hear the songs on this album. We've been working our asses off and I've been tempted to leak every single song after we finish recording it, but Clarissa says that's not how things work so I didn't do it."

"And she would kill you," Alec chimed in.

"And she would kill me." Jonathan pulled his guitar to the front and tuned it quickly. "Everyone, we are The Elite Four. Thank you for fucking joining us tonight. We hope you love this album as much as we loved working on it. Now, for our third song, we wrote a song that sounds a little British, sounds a little bit like The Uprising." Jonathan looked up into the lights, squinting. "Mama, I luh ya." He glanced at Simon, who gave a nod.

"This is 'Could Have Been Me'!" Simon introduced, saying the song title in a British accent. He and Alec lifted their hands up and began to clap to the beat, and without even asking, the crowd was clapping along with them.

Jonathan closed his eyes, and Clary did too as he sang out the song, her mouthing the lyrics along with him.

Don't wanna live as an untold story

Rather go out in a blaze of glory

I can't hear you, I don't fear you

I'll live now 'cause the bad die last

Dodging bullets with your broken past

I can't hear you, I don't fear you now

Her eyes opened when the crowd began to clap along perfectly without even knowing the song. It felt instinctual and she was grateful for the connection the music and the fans had.

Wrapped in your regret

What a waste of blood and sweat

Alec and Simon joined him in the chorus, and without even realizing it, Clary looked into the crowd that began to throw their hands in unison with the beat and lyrics. She smiled a little seeing Anna and her friends in the front. She invited them to be on the balcony, but she said they couldn't miss an Elite Four concert where they were guaranteed front row.

I wanna taste love and pain

Wanna feel pride and shame

I don't wanna take my time

Don't wanna waste one line

I wanna live better days

Never look back and say

Could have been me

She didn't know if it was due to the fact that the song sounded just like a song that The Uprising would sing, or that Jonathan sounded so much like him in a song where his accent was shining, but she looked around for her father.

Don't wanna live as an unsung melody

I'd rather listen to the silence telling me

I can't hear you, I won't fear you

She knew he was there. She knew he wouldn't miss it, and she could feel his presence, as much as she didn't want to. But she also knew he just wouldn't miss this night. She wondered if he could feel it—the shift in their lives. She wondered if he knew that they were going to be diving right into the direction that The Uprising couldn't handle. She wondered if he worried that they would break apart too. She wondered if he also knew that The Elite Four wouldn't crumble like he did.

Don't wanna wake up on a monday morning

The thought of work's getting my skin crawling

I can't fear you, I don't hear you now

And she saw him. It was in a crowd of people who were rocking out, their hands in the air, pointing back at Jonathan, heads bopping, but she knew it was him. And she watched him throughout the song, wishing for a fleeting moment that he could've been standing up there with them. And she felt like he was.

In that moment, Simon commanded the stage and told the crowd to sing the song back to him. He stood on a speaker, making Clary's eyes get wide for a moment before she laughed. He screamed one loud "hey" into the mic. And it was a beautiful moment of only hearing the crowd sing along with Jonathan with no accompanying instruments.

I wanna taste love and pain

Wanna feel pride and shame

Don't wanna take my time

Don't wanna waste one line

Wanna live better days

Never look back and say

Could have been me

And she watched as her father lifted his right hand to point along with the crowd that clapped on beat and sang back to her family on the stage. She looked beside her and everyone on the balcony was doing the same. She felt like they were standing right beside each other, taking another step towards peace. She closed her eyes, and the song ended into a roar of applause.

---

Jace stood arm against arm with Mari as she watched, and she smiled a little. It was a lot for her to take in at first to be friends with a band that she adored, and to also be dating the lead singer, but it took a whole other getting used to being friends with Jace. His face plastered on infinite magazine covers, and him constantly being on her instagram news feed was a lot to adjust to. She still hadn't gotten used to the fact when Jace even spoke to anyone, it would seem like he was flirty. Or angry. He didn't quite have a middle. He either cared about you or not at all.

"It'll be okay," he said out loud and Mari nodded. He didn't need to say anymore. They stood in silence for a moment before he followed with, "Don't let me and Clary dissuade you. I know we don't make long distance look appealing."

She let out a laugh, and looked up at him. "Actually, no. You guys just make it look real." She shrugged. "I know we've made it so far with long distance but a tour… that feels different."

"It is." She glanced at him again. "But you already know it's worth it with them."

"Always?"

"Always," Jace replied with no hesitation.

---

Jonathan found himself breathing hard from the adrenaline of knowing that the show was about to end. He knew how much he sounded like his dad tonight. He knew his father was in the crowd, and as detached he felt from him, he hoped his father was proud. That being there watching his son perform was giving him some hope.

Jonathan smiled a little at the thought and looked out at the crowd. "Okay, I hate to do this to you because I don't want this night to end but this is our last song of the night." The crowd roared and he grinned. "Oh, I'm so pleased that you didn't boo."

He looked up, seeing the vague outline of his family, and then out into the crowd that had anticipation on their faces. Some had a look of pride to be in that very moment with them. Maybe they had been there the night they were discovered. Maybe they just connected to a song and their hearts were as full as his was being in the room, at that particular show. He could feel everything shift for them. He knew that they would be busier than ever, and that he was going to miss his life before that night, and more so for the life before they were discovered. He knew there would be days that he was going to feel nostalgic for simple.

"But before that, I just want to thank you on behalf of all of us up here. On behalf of our families. On behalf of Clarissa. On behalf of our friends who helped us write this, and anyone who inspired us. Just thank you for giving us a chance. Thank you for connecting with our memories in these songs, with our bad times, and our triumphs. Thank you for celebrating love with us, for being there in moments of defeat or doubt with us. Thank you for escaping with us. Because this is what this album means for us. It's all of us just wrapped into our songs , and fuck, I can't even really comprehend putting ourselves out into the world with our album releasing tonight. But it's happening and we can't be more grateful." Jonathan shook his head as Simon began playing the guitar intro of the song. He looked up and into the crowd. "I am Jonathan Morgenstern."

"I am Simon Lewis."

"I am Isabelle Lightwood." With that, Isabelle joined in with the drums.

"I am Alec Lightwood."

"And we are The Elite Four. We love you."

Thought I wouldn't last a minute

Now you wanna make the minutes last

If that's not a miss, what do we call that?

Maybe I messed up a little

Or maybe I'm a little messed up

We've been walking on ice, but is it strong enough?

Jonathan grabbed his mic as he sang with everything that's burning up inside of me and Simon yelled "jump!"

As the room jumped along with the band, and screamed to the song they obviously played on repeat that entire day, everyone on the balcony simply watched. Not needing to sing along, or to even move. They all just watched and smiled, simply taking note of how they felt, of what they would miss the moment this concert ended. They all stood in silence and in a quiet reverence amongst the music surrounding them. With Jace on her left, and Jocelyn on her right, she linked arms with her mother and couldn't help but let her eyes well up a little.

The entire year had changed her life in the best way possible. She didn't live with her past looming above her like a dark cloud anymore. It had finally intertwined together, giving her peace rather than the chaos she thought it would. It felt good to finally stop running—to come back to herself in a way that she knew she was doing what she loved. She was with who she loved. And she wasn't searching for the appearance of someone she once loved with all her might, wondering if he was okay, but now knowing he was there in the very background of her life. An open door if she ever decided to visit it.

She knew they were all walking into foreign yet familiar territory, and where she used to feel fear in what would happen to their friendships, she knew that if the career would fail them, they would never fail each other.

Clary wiped away her tears with a laugh, and joined the entire venue in clapping and yelling as the curtains closed on the band before them.

---

Magnus bopped his head and shimmied. "Ooo, this one is spicy."

After having a celebratory shot in the back of the venue, the group made their way towards cars waiting for them, along with the fans that did too. They spent an hour talking and taking pictures until they finally were all forced to leave the venue. They rolled down their windows yelling thank you until they were well down the street. Then they just sat there, exhausted or in shock, or even both. And they were silent until they got home. Jonathan immediately started their new CD as everyone found their own spots in Clary and Jonathan's apartment. Clary handed out drinks, and Jocelyn and Luke gave all of the kids a hug before they went to sleep.

By the last song of the CD, they were all in the couch area, on it or sitting on the floor around it, their arms touching with whoever was sitting beside them. They were clinging to each other, to the night, worried and excited over what would happen next once the sun came up.

"Last song, it had to be spicy," Jonathan said with a wink towards Magnus that made Alec frown.

Isabelle air drummed before the song started, Clary singing along. The two were singing and shimmying towards each other.

How'd you know that I would act this way?

I turn my back, you rebel, we stay the same.

You make it easy to believe that I know

Who you are and why you're insecure.

I'm not certain yet, but I'll make sure

This will all get through to you.

Mari closed her eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Wow. I think this one is my favorite."

Clary nudged her a little. "Dylan and Simon."

Mari turned to Dylan. "Are you serious?"

Clary shook her head giving Dylan a side-eye. "I know."

"You need to get back into music, Dyl. This is amazing."

"You really do," Simon joined in, peeling the label off of his beer.

"Yup." Isabelle chimed in leaning against Simon, her eyes closed.

I could never resist, so prepare to be noticed.

I hope that you know, inside I find it hard to rewind.

No, I don't wanna walk alone.

Dylan didn't reply for almost the whole song, and spoke up after the bridge. "I mean, where do I start?" He looked up. "I don't even have a band."

"We'll figure it out," Jace said, sitting across from him. "We have time. They'll be off on tour, we'll have each other."

Clary nodded. "Kind of what he said earlier." She looked at their circle of friends. "Am I being phased out of my own relationship?"

They all glanced at each other and, in unison, replied with a resounding yes.

"A shame. I really liked the two of you together," Jonathan remarked. He stood up when the CD ended, and searched for a CD in a stack. "A 2004 mixtape?"

"Perfect," Isabelle said, standing up and the group began to disperse besides Clary and Jace.

She closed her eyes once the first song started, and leaned her head back. "Yes. This song." Jace did the same, and listened along.

You need a friend

I'll be around

Don't let this end

Before I see you again

What can I say to convince you

To change your mind for me?

Jace's eyebrows knitted together and he whispered, "This is one of those songs that I wish I wrote."

"I know."

I'm going to love you more than anyone

I'm going to hold you closer than before

And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free

I'll be there for you anytime

I'm going to love you more than anyone

He looked over at her, and watched as she mouthed along the lyrics. And it became achingly clear. She made him feel at peace. She made his world make sense. And he knew.

"Hey. Wanna go on the roof?"

She opened her eyes. "Always."

He stood up, holding a hand out to her. As she reached for her jacket, he smoothly put his hand in his own pocket.

He was ready.

---

"Well, since they've stolen the roof as if they own it. Like they do every damn time." Jonathan took Mari's hand to lead her to the dining table. "We're stuck at this romantic spot."

Mari let out a forced chuckle, and put her face into her hands. She took a deep breath. It held more weight than she wanted it to but she took a moment before she looked at Jonathan to see him staring at her, concerned.

"I know this is hard. It's a lot to be asking of you."

She shook her head. "It's not."

"It is. A whole tour, along with the distance that we already deal with. Add less time for each other because it seems we're going to be more busy. It's a lot to be asking."

She raised an eyebrow. "Okay, yeah, it's a lot." Jonathan let his forehead hit the table, and she laughed. "But it's nothing I didn't already anticipate." She put a hand on his shoulder, and his tense shoulders softened under her touch. "We're going to be okay."

"I'm supposed to be reassuring you," he said, his words barely heard.

"It's okay that we reassure each other."

And with that, the two were in silence for a few moments. Thoughts were racing in both of their minds, and they allowed each other a moment to just let those thoughts roam with the physical comfort of having one another there.

"I just want you to know," Jonathan started while lifting his head up. "You don't have to put all the pressure of being worried about me on you." Mari gulped. She had never spoken to him about this, and it was the first time that he was letting her know that he knew she worried too much about him. "I know you can't help but worry, or even in wanting to take care of me, but please, don't take this on." He leaned in, putting a hand on her cheek, and she leaned into it, closing her eyes. "Clary and Alec are there. Worse, Simon is there. And I know they let me be right now, but they still follow up on me." She opened her eyes now, and looked back at him. "I feel the most stable I've ever felt. And I know a huge part of that is because of you, but I also feel like a part of it is because I feel like myself. Also because of you, and..." He looked away, shaking his head a little. "I thought seeing my father again would completely unbalance me but it has actually brought the most clarity. Does that make sense?"

Mari smiled a little. "Yes, that makes sense."

"Let me worry about you a little more, okay?"

She shook her head. "No, don't—"

"I'm going to worry. And I'm going to check up on you. And I'm going to try my hardest."

"Don't make promises that are hard to keep. You don't know how it'll be once you're on tour, Jonathan."

"I love you, Mari." He smiled a little at the way she almost fell off the edge of her seat in surprise. "I'm not sure if my last minute visits to you, and always asking you to visit us gave you any idea that I do, but I do. I need you to know that before this tour. And since our beginning, I know how lucky I've been to cross paths with you. I mean, it's some storybook shit meeting you when I did, in the way that I did. And in the way you saw the deepest parts of me immediately. You understood me right away, and that means everything to a boy who always felt a little lost. You're my best friend, and I'm going to try my hardest because we deserve that."

Mari blinked, and held her hands together. "Well, that was a lot—"

Jonathan laughed a little, standing up to reach out and kiss her. "We're going to be okay."

"I know." She closed her eyes as he touched their foreheads together. "I know." She opened her eyes and squeezed his hands, nervous to be saying this. "I love you, too."

"Oh, I know."

Mari narrowed her eyes. "You know, I knew I shouldn't have said, but I did and I just knew, I knew—"

And, in typical Jonathan fashion, he kissed her in the middle of her sentence.

---

"I think those two are getting engaged up there," Isabelle stated nonchalantly a couple minutes after Clary and Jace left to go to the roof. Dylan dropped his phone in the middle of texting and Simon held a napkin to his nose.

"You made my beer go through my nose," Simon said so calmly that Isabelle smiled a little because she knew their voices would be two times higher than their usual tones in a second.

"What!" They screamed at her and she looked pleased that her assumption was right.

"Mhmm." She put popcorn in her mouth. "I've been holding onto a ring for Jace for months, and I think he's gonna do it. He had that look on his face. Like he wanted to throw up but was also in another world."

"Wow." Dylan finally picked up his phone. "That's crazy."

"Crazy like you're upset?" Simon asked, looking over at him.

"Please." Dylan rolled his eyes.

"I meant because of Jace, but okay." Simon shrugged and Dylan held his middle finger up towards him.

"Wow." Simon said, leaning back into the couch. "That's amazing."

"I know." Isabelle leaned back with him, and Dylan followed.

"Finally." He took a deep breath. "Could you imagine being in love with someone all your life thinking you'd never see them again, and then go on tour?" He shook his head. "Damn. Finally, though."

Isabelle grinned. "Our friends are gonna be married."

"Aaannd what about you two, hm?" Dylan leaned over and the two looked like they didn't even hear him. He nodded, impressed with their ability to completely ignore him.

The three sat in silence on the couch for a couple minutes, all staring at the ceiling, their own thoughts racing through their minds.

"I don't think I've ever thanked Jace for reaching out to me when he did." Dylan gulped and shook his head. "I needed to come back home. It hasn't made me feel less lost, but it makes me feel more at home."

Simon looked over. "Feels more like home with you back."

"Yeah." Isabelle followed. "As long as your brother doesn't come back."

Dylan laughed a little. "I think we've realized we're better through facetime. He likes it there too much." He leaned forward to look at Isabelle. "Just so you know."

She smiled and Dylan leaned back into the couch, sinking in. "Isn't it wild that it wasn't too long ago that we were sitting on this couch wondering how our lives would be? How would your label offer go? Wondering if I'd finish high school or go full on socialite? And Simon being my savior whenever I called?" The two laughed at that. "Could we have even imagined all this?"

A silence filled the air before Simon answered, "I think we were too scared to imagine this life even existed. We would've never believed it would be this good."

With that Isabelle reached out to hold his hand and Dylan closed his eyes.

And with that, they all said "yeah" to each other in unison.

---

"You know, I love that you're so easy." Magnus raised an eyebrow. Alec's eyes got wide as he quickly added, "that being with you is so easy. It just is. We just are." He made a face. "Sorry, that was supposed to be romantic."

Magnus shrugged as he and Alec made their way to the couch after Jace and Clary left. "Telling me I'm easy is a little romantic, I guess. But I agree. We are easy, and I never thought I'd appreciate stability so much."

Alec grinned now. "You appreciate my stability?"

"Always." Magnus winked, and then looked around at them. "I also never thought I'd be in such a stable environment, that's for sure."

"We're about to go on tour?"

"I know, but I mean, with people who are so stable."

"You're calling Jonathan Morgenstern stable?"

"In his relationship, yes." Magnus pointed. "Look, those two are gonna last forever." He pointed behind him at the three on the couch. "Simon and your sister are basically an old married couple. Hm, Dylan and Jace, too."

Alec shrugged, smiling a little. "Yeah, I guess."

"I've never felt so stable in my company. To be so sure that everything will be okay, because even if things around us aren't, I know we'll all end up okay." Alec sighed beside him. "Or maybe it's also because we won't be separating, so I'm not feeling this horrid tour anxiety like those around us."

Alec leaned his head on Magnus's shoulder. "There's that, too." He was quiet for a moment and looked over at Magnus. "Actually, no. Even when we're apart, you in London and me here, I still feel the same. The ground is always stable with you. I never doubt that." Magnus grinned now, and leaned in to kiss him. "I'm sure Isabelle will say that this is the most relaxed and stable I've ever been."

Magnus nodded. "Yes, she's mentioned it." He pursed his lips. "Actually she thanks me often for giving your life a purpose. Her words, not mine."

"Mm, she's a rude ass," Alec muttered and Magnus laughed, putting Alec's head back on his shoulder. The two settled into the couch together, listening to the music that played in the apartment while the chatter of their loved ones blended into it.

"You are my world, Alec Lightwood."

Alec closed his eyes now, as he responded, "As you are mine, Magnus Bane."

---

There was a time

I had nothing to give

I needed shelter from the storm I was in

When it all got too heavy

You carried my weight

And I want to hold you

And I want to say

Jace made a face of disgust and turned to his left to look at Clary. She tilted her head down to hide her smile, as she made it a little louder on her phone.

"Why are we listening to this?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Just thinking about a year ago." She looked forward, toward the lights of downtown shining in the night. "I cried listening to this." The two paused for a moment and both began to laugh. "I mean, full on sobbed. Ugh. It was dramatic. I was dramatic. Telling you on this roof that you ignoring me ruined my life." She cringed.

"You were dramatic? I wrote this song when I was fourteen." He paused. "The fuck was wrong with me?"

The two laughed and it settled into the sounds of the city. The sound of cars and chatter from the streets below. The cold wind blowing which felt like it was bringing them back to life. And they stared at the buildings shining before them.

"Was this it? The normalcy?" Jace asked, looking over at Clary.

She shrugged. "Yeah. This was it." She shook her head a little. "If you consider living in Brooklyn and having our second home be in the Upper East Side normal." She pursed her lips together. "I think you and I both don't know what real normal is."

"I wonder though." He placed his hands slightly behind him as he leaned his weight back. "Would I have liked it?"

Clary looked at him, and stared. And she smiled a little because he didn't look back at her. It was rare that he didn't find the opportunity to stare right back at her. "No," she said clearly, and he looked at her, surprised that she had been staring. "You would've hated it. You're definitely not cut for it, Jace."

He glanced down, and back at her as she turned forward.

"You shine too bright."

And his heart hurt. In the best way. As if his love for her couldn't be contained. As if she consumed everything that he was. As if he never wanted this moment to end. Just like he never wanted any moment to end with her. And with that, he leaned forward, and stood.

She looked up. "Wanna go back in?" And he didn't respond. He simply shook his head, and she straightened her back as if she was supposed to stand, too. But before she could, he kneeled. Not in a rush, and not too slow. Just at a pace that he knew he wanted to do this. "Jace," she whispered, and her eyes got wide. "This isn't funny."

"I'm not trying to be."

"Jace."

"Clarissa." He smiled a little when her eyes got wide. But the smile made her do it in return. "I have always loved you. Even when I didn't know shit about anything, I knew that what I had for you was love. Even when I thought I knew fucking everything and thought I could do all the things in the world to forget you, I knew that I loved you. When I tried to run away from every fucking thing, I went to sleep at night knowing that the one thing I couldn't ever deny is that I love you. You are a part of me. And I miss you every single day, even when we're right next to each other. I know I'm not perfect. I know you think you aren't either, but you are perfect to me." He reached out to hold her hand, and smiled a little. "Clary. Will you marry me?"

"Yes."

And his smile fell in shock. She grinned down at him, and he stood up. "Wait, that was so quick."

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"But you're so sure. I'm scared as fuck. Aren't you?"

She let out a laugh and stood up too. "Yes."

"Wait, we just got over a huge period of distance. Clarissa—"

"I realized today that it was all because we're always afraid of losing what we have. We just throw in the towel to silence because we don't want to ruin our friendship, and it's because we need each other. And if we need each other then… yes."

Jace stared at her in disbelief. She had never been so vulnerable in saying what she wanted for them. He always expected her to point out the moments that could go wrong. He depended on her to have a clear mind. He didn't know how to act when she seemed to be the one who was jumping with no apprehension. "That's it? Just yes?"

"Wait, didn't you just propose to me?" She looked amused. "Are you taking your proposal back?"

"Of course not!" He reached out to hug her. "I'm just—"

"Scared?" He nodded. "Fuck, I am, too." She could feel him hold her tighter."You know, I've just spent a year hearing people tell me that we're perfect together. That we are it. That we're meant to be together. And I've spent so many years before that trying to forget you." She could feel him hold his breath. "But I've known it from the moment that we saw each other again, and your crazy ass ran to us." She let out a laugh, and shook her head. "I never really acknowledged what they were saying, but I am now. They're right. We are it. I know this, Jace." He let go of her and looked down at her. "I'm just sure of this." The two of them simultaneously started to try not to smile and were terrible at it. "Finally."

---

When they went back down to the apartment, Isabelle was waiting with a bottle of champagne.

She was grinning and everyone started to look over. "Well?!"

Clary and Jace turned to each other for a moment. They hadn't stopped smiling since it happened. Even though they both admitted that they didn't see themselves as marriage people, and then they laughed because they felt so ready to be. They just both knew that they felt like they were finally taking a step toward completeness. One where they knew they could be apart from each other but knew they didn't need to worry, that everything they hoped to have in their relationship could really be. And it wasn't just because they were engaged to be married, but because they decided to be above fear and insecurities. And that was truly what this moment meant.

Before Clary even fully lifted up her hand to show off the ring, Isabelle popped open the champagne and sprayed it down onto all of them as they rushed Clary and Jace for a group hug.

Once they broke apart, Jonathan kissed them both on the forehead and said, "Fuck, I'm crying. I'm waking up mom and Luke." With that, he ran towards the door.

Isabelle ran over and hugged them again, proclaiming, "I'm getting the last hug, I held onto that damn ring for months so I deserve it."

"Yes, Izzy, you do." Jace held her face in between his hands. "Thank you."

"Oh, stop it you handsome bastard." She pulled his hands away. "I love you both." She walked away and yelled, "Finally!"

"Yes, finally," Jace whispered to Clary before kissing the top of her head. "Fucking finally."

Clary closed her eyes, smiling a little to herself, as it seemed that time slowed for a second in their world that always seemed to zoom past them. She felt the heaviness of running away from what scared her fade away. She could feel the heaviness of the constant presence of fear that all the good that had accumulated in her life would instantly be taken from her because she felt an immediate lightness. And she knew all would be okay. That she and Jace wouldn't be ripped apart. That she had the ability to make it work, to work past all her fears. That the Elite Four would continue to be a family. She knew. And she embraced the moment as the moment that she knew that everything had changed, and it was finally a change she could feel was for the better.

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A/N: No matter how many times I've read over and worked on this epilogue, this final chapter gets me. A huge part of it is the way that you guys have connected to it. The characters and the music, whichever it may be. I never imagined a story that I started because I missed running around New York City at night with friends to go to concerts would turn into what it did. Thank you for making this story take on a life of its own. Thank you to anyone reading this story after all this time. I'll be missing this story so much. It's been on my mind for 6 years which is completely wild. But I'll miss writing these characters—the way they perform, the way they love each other, their different relationships with each other, and of course I'll miss finding the music that fits them.

With that said, I really do hope you guys enjoyed it. I tried my best to tie everything together and have the overall feeling of this story in this specific chapter, and I hope that comes across as you were reading it. I know I might get some questions about what happens to Clary and Jace after that ending (sorry if it felt like a cliffhanger, it honestly wasn't supposed to lol) but I will tell you that in my mind, they do get married. And they just continue to live life together side by side making and performing music. Maybe they went and had a big wedding in London, or maybe they just get married on the roof with close friends and family. But all I know, and what I tried to make clear, is that they will be happy.

I'm not sure if anyone has been wondering about my absence but a part of me does feel like I need to explain what's been going on. It's been all good things. I know I've said on here that I got engaged. Afterwards, I got busy with wedding planning, honeymoon planning, the process of buying a home, going on our European honeymoon, getting pregnant, having a baby, and raising that baby for almost two years now. I started to really write and become determined to finish this story in the beginning of 2020, but I took a moment to give some space and time to amplify Black writers in honor of the Black Lives Matter movement. I wrote this in my AN for Winter and A Sweater but I'll reiterate it. Anyone who was protesting for BLM, I appreciate you advocating for our future and taking a stand out there. I hope you are all safe and sound. I wish I could be joining in these ongoing protests, but I am taking my own steps in educating myself, so I can better educate my child. Also, I wanted to say that I hope everyone is doing okay and is safe in this truly crazy year. I'm thinking of you all that have come upon difficult times in this pandemic, and I'm hoping things get better. I hope everyone has had a happy holiday, and wish moments of hope as we all start this new year. As for me, I'm just currently living life as a Mama and working full time. Trying to continue to grow, and take care of my mind to be able to take care of my growing family. I don't get much time to write, but when I do, I come back to the stories I have on FF. Please know that I continue to think about my stories on here constantly and what I could write next. And when I get a moment, and inspiration, I get those ideas written up. Thank you for the patience, and for anyone who comes back to these stories.

Alright, that's enough about me, and I think my love letter to this story and how far it's gone is done now. Please join me in getting emotional over this story and please leave some feedback and reviews. I'd love to read them and see what you guys think. I'll be reading them for years to come whenever I miss this story.

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Thank you to everyone who has read this story—from the beginning or just made their way through a massive amount of chapters to get to this. Thank you for the support through alerts and favorites. Thank you so so much for the reviews, and the time you take to write them. You've made this writer so happy that she took the plunge to write something and be brave enough to post it. You've all made this a significant time in my want and urge to continue to write, even if it is years apart. You've inspired and motivated me over and over again, and I'm thankful.

Shout out to rippingbutterlywings for beta'ing this story for years. Thank you for it because I know these chapters were always too too long. Thank you for your help and beta'ing for this epilogue! Thank you for your years of support in writing and in life, for your comments that I love while beta'ing, talking through ideas, and showing love through a like on instagram. Thank you for being a partner in writing. It makes me smile every time that our lives are still connected and always grateful for you and the ways I know we're so happy for one another to read an update on each other's lives or whenever we catch up. Always sending you love, Camille, my MS Clary.

Shout out to DeathCabForMari for many things. For being a character in this story, for being a friend, for a night of madness and laughter and fun in SD, for being such a supportive presence, and for constant understanding. I smile every time you post on instagram, or I see a like from you on any of my posts or updates because I know we love to see each other just be happy. Thank you for all of it.

Shout out to PerchanceADream, Guest, JMDeaton, Debra Williams, IridescentLight, BritishBat, LOVERGIRL, NerdDepot, Ineedalife14, AFourAddict, Ads S, I LIKKY, blehblahblehblah, Angelz444, , Dance Elle Dance, Guest, lol878, doverose89, Guest, Belgian girl x, It's Morley To You, sacri-interesting-legious , and SalvatoreOriginalVampire. My thank you up there for reviews is definitely meant for you guys! Thank you for leaving reviews throughout the years. I appreciate it so much, and you guys definitely kept me motivated. I'll be replying to the guest reviews here but I'll be replying to reviews over the weekend, as well as any that come in for the epilogue!

LOVERGIRL: So glad that you liked the last chapter and for sticking with this story for so long, thank you for the review!

I LIKKY: I was most definitely internally screaming when those two saw each other again at the park! Thank you for your review!

Guest: So happy that you liked it, and I hope I was able to answer your question at the end of this chapter and with the note about where I think they ended up! Thank you for your review!

Lol878: Thank you so much, and thank you for your review!

Guest: Absolutely loved reading your review, thank youu for taking the time to leave it! So glad you enjoyed this story and I hope you get to see and enjoy this update :)

Belgian girl x: First, I just want to say thank you so much for sticking with me and reading this story for so long! You always give amazing feedback and are always so supportive. I have appreciated your support and story love for so long. Thank you for being such a great motivation. I hope you've also been writing as well! My inspiration to start writing actually started when I was young. In school I would hand write stories during class. Lol, I know, I should've been paying attention but I had a story forming in my mind and I honestly couldn't help it and had to get it out. I would let my friends read it back then, and as I got older, I continued to write stories and became brave enough (two separate times) to share it here on FF. I used to just post it on here directly because I felt like I was doing it for myself and didn't think anyone was going to actually read it haha. But when I came back to ff (around the time when I came back with As Lovers Go and Day Late Friend) I did start to have betas to look over my chapters a couple chapters into As Lovers Go! Like I said, I hope you've been writing during these years too! Thank you so much for the inspiration as a reader right back. I can't say enough thank you's for the way your reviews have motivated me. Hope you've been doing well, and also have been wishing you the best of luck in life! I'll be missing talking to you about writing, so if you need, PM me! :)

This has been the longest farewell author's note, but shit, Day Late Friend deserves it. Sorry if there's been an unnecessary overshare but I've always been open with you guys in these updates and after 44 chapters, I definitely needed to let out my endless appreciation for anyone who had read this story over the years. Happy New Year, everybody! Hope everyone is safe, and that this upcoming year brings you much needed love and light.

- Marie