Ford followed the canal until the lights of the city were well behind them.

The children and Stan ransacked the compartments of their new vehicle with much enthusiasm. Ford was relieved when they found a box full of rations and bottled drinks. The twins stumbled upon spare robes and masks as well, ones that resembled the outfits worn by their mysterious pursuers. For a while, Dipper and Mabel entertained themselves by trying them on. Ford was slightly disturbed to realize how much they looked like tiny cultists wearing those ugly things.

Then again, he had been even more troubled when he'd found a certain wanted poster hanging beside the controls of the hovercraft…

After a few twists and turns, the river entered a cave, its entrance half-hidden by the presence of a few pink tree-like structures. Ford parked the hovercraft nearby, and the children hopped off the vehicle in a sudden show of excitement.

"Water!" Mabel squealed, running alongside her brother toward the creek.

"Wait!" Ford said, rushing after them. "It might not be water!" He has been to planets where there had been rainstorms of acid and tornados of glass shards and—

The twins had already removed their shoes and socks, and they were splashing in the river. Stan kept watch not far away, arms folded.

"Don't you go in too deep, you hear?" he called out to the kids. "Can't have you two drowning on me!"

Ford simply stopped and stared, weighed down by a sudden weariness. He turned away to hide a scowl, muttering, "I'm going to set up camp."

As he walked away, he heard Stan saying, "I think you kids need to be more careful. Else you're gonna give poor Sixer a heart attack one of these days."

Ford didn't hear Dipper and Mabel's replies. He went at the mouth of the cave, putting down the pack sack they'd filled with their newfound supplies under the pink 'trees'. It seemed like a good place as any.

The kids came back not long after, holding their shoes and socks. They both looked so equally miserable that Ford's annoyance all but melted away.

"Sorry for worrying you, Grunkle Ford," Mabel said. "We'll be more careful next time."

"You're really on edge, aren't you?" Dipper asked. "Is something wrong? Can we help?"

"I'll be fine," said Ford. "I just have to, well, take it as an adventure, like you kids said."

"You never had trouble doing that before," Dipper said, sounding unconvinced.

"Aw, c'mon," Stan said. "It's no use wasting more brain juice on that sort of stuff. Let's just get some rest under these…" He squinted his eyes. "Fugly pink-ass trees."

Ford took a closer look and smiled. "Why, this is not a plant-based lifeform at all! I'd say this would be closer to a sea sponge, actually."

"A sea sponge. On land. Seriously?" Stan rubbed the bridge of his nose, muttering curses under his breath. He reached to grab one branch and snapped it before Ford could place one word. "Huh. At least it could be useful to make a campfire, yeah?"

"Or it could explode at the contact of flames," Ford said dryly. "Or release deadly fumes that will kill us in our sleep."

Stan kept Ford's gaze, his expression stony. He broke another branch in a slow, deliberate motion. Ford glared in response.

Thankfully, the pink, spongy material burned without exploding or letting out deadly gases. Stan and the twins huddled around the campfire, wearing those ridiculous robes to keep warm. They chewed on their rations without much enthusiasm. Ford didn't think they tasted that bad. The rubbery texture reminded him of a giant squid monster he'd killed and eaten in a quaint little town named Wundich (the local fishpeople had then chased him out of their town for murdering their 'god').

"I told you we'd find a car," Mabel eventually told her brother. "Well, sorta. It's a flying car, and that makes it even better, right?"

"I can't believe Great Uncle Ford's the one who actually stole it," Dipper replied. "You're losing your touch, Grunkle Stan."

"Hmph!" said Stan. "As if!"

He took something—no, several somethings—out of his sleeves and coat pockets. Soon, the ground was littered by more military-grade rations, two flasks, a few apple-like fruits, one loaf of spongy purple bread, and—Dipper made a choked little sound at that—a book bound in a blue cover.

"Boom!" Stan said, miming an explosion with his hands. "Who's losing his goddamn touch, huh?"

"Stanley," Ford chided, equally impressed and dismayed.

"Oh." Stan looked sheepish for a moment. "Yeah. Not s'posed to swear in front of the kids an' all. Kinda forgot."

Ford groaned, putting a hand over his face.

Dipper took the journal, eyes wide as saucers. "You stole it. You actually stole it. For me?!" He leafed through the book before looking at Stan with a frown. "I feel like I should be morally conflicted about this."

"Sheesh, kid," Stan said. "I thought it would make you happy."

Dipper let out another strangled noise. Mabel patted his arm. "Just accept it, you dork." She was hugging her ball of yarn like it was a precious plush toy.

"Anyway," said Ford, "there's something else we must discuss." He unfolded the sheet of paper he'd found by the control panel of the hovercraft.

"A photograph?" Dipper said, puzzled, while his sister exclaimed, "Wow, a drawing!"

In the end, it was Stan who realized what it was first. "Wait, is that a wanted poster?"

Before Ford could move, Stan snatched out of his hands.

"It is a wanted poster!" Stan said, gleefully. "A wanted poster of Ford!"

"No way!" Dipper said, while Mabel snickered, hiding her smile with one hand.

Ford tried to pry it from Stan's hands, but his brother clung to it like it was a million-dollar cheque.

"Oh man!" he said. "That's the best souvenir I coulda asked for! My nerdy bro, the wanted criminal! We need to frame it and hang it somewhere!"

"Where would you even put it?!" Ford snapped.

"On the fridge back home, of course. That way, ev'ry time I would look at the da—dang thing, I would remember how much I love the world and its wonders."

"We could put it in a collage with all of your fake IDs, Grunkle Stan?" Mabel suggested.

"Great idea, sweetie!"

"Stanley!" Ford said. "Don't you see what it means?"

"They weren't chasing us because we messed with that merchant," said Dipper. "They were searching for us. That dimensional breach wasn't just a crazy fluke."

"Yes," Ford said. "Someone brought us here, and that someone has enough power and authority at their disposal to send professionals after us."

"Professionals, my wrinkly as—butt!" Stan scoffed. "Besides, the way I see it, basic strategy stays the same. We find the guys who brought us here and we beat the crap outta them until they nicely agree to send us home. We just, uh, need to hit harder, is all."

"Stanley—"

"Listen, Fordsie," Stan said, not realizing how Ford winced at the nickname, "this ain't my first gig and somethin' tells me it ain't your first either."

"Yes," Ford admitted, "but before, we didn't have—" He stopped, glancing toward Dipper and Mabel. Before the kids could realize what he meant, Ford inhaled sharply, looking back at his brother. From the expression on Stan's face, it seemed Ford's twin had been struck by the same thought.

"He—heck, let's look at the bright side," Stan said. "You gave them a solid thrashing. That's a step in the right direction, isn't it?"

Ford felt his tensions easing a little. "It's petty to admit, but it did feel pretty good, yes."

"Fact is, we need more information," Dipper added. "At least we've got their uniforms now. That's a start."

"Yup!" his sister said. She made a face, sticking out her tongue. "If only they didn't smell like the inside of a grandma's closet…"

"Did the guys on the ship have masks like these?" Dipper asked, handing one of the grey masks to Ford.

Ford inspected the object in question. It resembled a gas mask, but the part covering the mouth was triangle-shaped. Ford remembered that their robes had been fitted with long and pointy hoods.

"With those masks on, they kinda look like those evil soldiers from that nerd sci-fi movie you guys like so much," Mabel commented.

"And they seem about as competent," Dipper said with a snort.

"They don't look like cops to me," said Stan. "Cops don't go around wearing dresses while they're on the job, do they?"

Ford's frown deepened. "Dipper's right, we just don't have enough to go on."

"Ugh," said Stan. "You think we hafta go back to the city? I don't think they'll welcome us with open arms after the stunt you've just pulled."

"The stunt I've pulled?" Ford said incredulously. "Stanley, you stole from some poor merchants who probably just want to make an honest living!"

"And I'm jus' a poor man who wants to feed his family. Get off my back, will ya?"

Ford bit back another snarky retort. There had been a hint of genuine hurt in Stan's voice. "Alright," Ford said. "Maybe we should just call it a day. I'll take first shift while you guys sleep."

"No!" said Mabel. "Last night, you guys stood watch! I'll do it!" At the same time, her brother said, "I can watch over the camp first." Both twins shared a look, letting out a tired little laugh.

"You two need to rest," Mabel said, patting Stan on the shoulder. "We're big kids now, we can handle it."

"Fine," said Ford. "One of you gets first shift. After two hours, you wake the other, who then wakes me up after another two hours so I can keep watch the rest of the night. Is that okay with you?"

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a knowing smirk. Still, they both nodded.

"Awright, let's see which of you squirts goes first," said Stan. "Let's see… eenie, meenie, miney…"

Dipper's face drained of all colours. Mabel clutched at her ball of yarn, eyes wide and fearful.

"Stanley!" Ford said. "Those words…"

"Huh? What's wrong?" Stan blinked, finally noticing the kids' horrified expressions. "Wait, what did I do? W-What wrong with them?"

Ford swallowed nervously as he met his brother's panicked gaze. He was almost jealous that Stan had apparently forgotten that moment. Ford didn't have that luxury.

(I THINK I'M GOING TO KILL ONE OF 'EM NOW, JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT!

EENIE, MEENIE, MINEY…!)

Ford closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to dispel the memory of that terrible voice. "It's nothing, Stan," he managed, giving his brother a reassuring look. "Everything's fine."

Stan didn't seem convinced, but he said nothing. He wrapped the robes tighter around him, frown deepening.

"I'll do it," Dipper said. The boy tried so hard to sound brave, and it tugged at Ford's heartstrings. "It'll, uh, give me some time to write down everything that's happened so far."

"Good idea, my boy," Ford said, still glancing at Stan.

"Alright, then!" Mabel said. Her smile was big and bright… and just a bit forced. "Time for your old man nap, Grunkle Stan!" She lightly shoved Stan, forcing him to lie down, before patting the spot next to her. "You two, Grunkle Ford!"

Ford sat down next to her, trying not to laugh as she threw one of the uniforms over him like it was a blanket. "Just so you two know, if anything happens while I'm asleep…"

"We'll wake you up, yeah, yeah," Mabel said, rolling her eyes and pushing at him. "Sleep! Sleep, dangit!"

Ford laid down, chuckling. "Alright, then."

For a while, there was only the crackle of the fire and the soft scratches of Dipper's pen on paper. Ford closed his eyes, letting those comforting sounds lulling to sleep.

He was half asleep when he realized Stan wasn't snoring. Through eyes blurry with exhaustion, Ford caught his brother's gaze.

Stan stared back, brow creased in worry. Before Ford could say anything, he turned to face the other way.

Sleep claimed Ford not long afterwards.

Soos, McGucket and Pacifica set out in the early morning for the crash site.

According to the old man's (admittedly) fuzzy recollections, getting to the derelict UFO required at least a whole day. Pacifica didn't even utter a single complain at the idea of going on a camping trip with the village kook and the owner of the local tourist trap. She even brought her own gear and supplies, saying she didn't trust them to be adequately prepared. Soos was a little floored, to tell the truth; he didn't even expect her to have a pair of good hiking shoes, let alone a sleeping bag.

Wendy and the girls saw them off while making their own preparations. Their plan was to sneak into the dumping site in the dark of night, before skedaddling with the nuclear waste using Stan's car. Soos wasn't sure the latter part was such a good idea, but Wendy had dismissed his protest with the wave of a hand, saying, "Psh, Stan'll never know. Better his car than my dad's truck, you know?" She had grinned at him. "Besides, I've always wanted to give this baby a joyride."

Following McGucket's instructions, Soos drove them to the lake, where they followed a trail going deep into the woods. The whole of their trek was spent under a bright, sunny sky, and Soos was delighted to find a singing partner in McGucket. The old man was surprisingly good at improvising anime openings on his banjo (though his Japanese was a bit off in some places). Behind them, Pacifica often muttered things like, "Oh god, someone please kill me now."

The sun was setting when they arrived at a hill located in a perfectly circular crater. McGucket was the first to reach the top; as he stared at the cliffs overlooking the town to the south, he stopped strumming his banjo.

"Mr. McGucket?" Soos asked him. "Are you alright, dude?"

"It's so strange… Ah wasn't sure Ah'd find the place, and yet…" The old man shook his head. "There're still so many important things Ah still don't remember. Why do Ah remember this?"

"I dunno, dawg," Soos offered. After thinking about it, he added, "It is kinda important, you know. If you hadn't remembered this place, then we wouldn't have been able to repair the portal and save Stan and Dipper and Mabel! And Ford too!"

"Ah guess yer right. Always a silver lining, is there?" McGucket adjusted his hat, looking more determined. "Yer good at finding these, kiddo."

Soos laughed. "Aw, it's no big deal! Let set up camp, dudes! I'm starving!"

He and McGucket dived for their lunch, famished by their afternoon trek. Pacifica eyed her sandwich dubiously before taking a bite.

"Peanut butter and jelly?" she said, grimacing. "Really?"

"It's Tater Tot's favourite kind," McGucket said. "Or at least, t'was back when he was a kiddy. It's also the only kinda sandwich Ah can make!"

Pacifica only raised a single eyebrow in response.

She was equally silent as they helped her set up her tent. McGucket and Soos had agreed to sleep outside to let her have some space. Soos didn't mind; he was looking forward to sleeping under the stars, having never gone on camping before. As for McGucket… well, the old man cheerfully told him that grass was a great deal more comfortable than anything he'd ever used as a mattress when he'd lived in the dump. Barely a minute after they'd gone to sleep, he was snoring like a buzz saw.

The old man woke them at first light the next morning. "Wakey, wakey!" he exclaimed, a bit too cheerfully for Soos' taste. "We got a long day ahead of us!"

They ate their breakfast at breakneck speed, Pacifica looking particularly murderous and sleep-deprived (there was probably a link between the two, Soos figured). McGucket was the first to finish. As Soos and Pacifica took down her tent, he waddled to the top of the hill, crowbar in hands.

He pushed aside a large rock and stabbed at the ground with the crowbar. To Soos' surprise, there was a sharp, resounding clang, and a metallic panel flew off the ground. "Voilà!" McGucket said, doing a little jig of victory before gesturing to the secret hatch leading to the buried wreck.

"No way, dude!" said Soos. "It was under us the whole time? This is, like, seriously rad!"

It was a shame that he hadn't brought Melody along. She had told him someone needed to tend to the shop, but Soos knew she would have loved to go camping on the top of an UFO of all things. He made a note to bring her back for a picnic later this summer.

Soos was daydreaming about the perfect romantic getaway as he followed McGucket into the hatch. The ladder leading down the crashed UFO creaked rather horribly, and Pacifica kept muttering, "Don't break, don't break, don't break."

She let out a sigh of relief as they dropped on a metallic floor, sending a deep reverberation through the empty space. Soos inspected his surroundings with his flashlight, mouth hanging open. The place was so big the whole Shack could probably fit in it. Circular symbols were engraved in the walls, while tufts of grass grew between the metal plates under their feet. Soos heard a cawing sound echoing in the distance, making him laugh out loud.

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I think there's like, alien birds in here somewhere, dudes!"

Pacifica groaned. "Great. Don't tell me we have to fend off monsters too. I thought you said there weren't any aliens around, McGucket."

"Oh, they're all dead, sure." There was a pause, then McGucket added, sounding puzzled, "Are they?"

"Wonderful," said Pacifica. "Let's get this over with before some horrible creature decide to attach itself to our faces and—"

"Oh!" said Soos. "You've seen that movie, Pacifica? Wouldn't have taken you for a fan of sci-fi, dude."

It was hard to tell in the dim lighting of their flashlights, but Pacifica seemed to blush. "T-That's because I'm not!"

She turned to walk away, only to bump into McGucket. The old man stood very still. In fact, he hadn't budged an inch since they'd arrived here.

"McGucket?" Pacifica asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Ah… Ah don't remember the layout of the place…" he muttered. "We need to find the engine room… Ah think?"

"You think?!" Pacifica repeated. She inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring. "Oh, whatever. We'll improvise somehow. That's how Dipper and Mabel do it, anyway. Their plans always go off the rails."

"Definitely!" said Soos. "Part of the Pines charm, I guess!"

"Alright, then," Pacifica said. "If I was a stupid engine room in a stupid spacecraft, where would I be…?"

McGucket pointed downward with both hands. "Deeper in the ship. Tha's where Ah would put it meself."

"Got it. McGucket, you go first. You're the adult, after all."

"I'm an adult too," Soos told Pacifica.

In response, she only spared him a disdainful glance.

They moved forward, going deeper into the wreckage. Soos took as many pictures as he could, partly for Melody's sake, partly to use as backgrounds for his video fan fictions about the Stans' adventures. At one point, they spied an adjacent room through a half-open door. It was filled with large glass tanks, most being broken and empty. The place reminded Soos of the lab where the specimens had been kept in Dr. Pines' bunker.

"Oh man," Soos said, "place got creepy all of a sudden."

"Don't say things like that!" Pacifica hissed. "You want this to turn into a horror movie, is that it?"

"Wonder what they kept in there," Soos mused, undeterred by Pacifica's admonition.

"All manners of alien critters, pro'bly," said McGucket. As Pacifica glared at him, he added, "All dead now, of course."

"Whatever," Pacifica said. "Let's just get on with it."

It was hard knowing just how long they walked. Soos tried to keep a tally of the steps they took down every stairwell they found, but he soon lost count. At one point, they had to climb down a slightly tilted elevator shaft using some of Wendy's gear—Soos couldn't say he had particularly enjoyed the experience. Even after they'd found solid ground, his heart could not stop pounding.

Soon, no natural light filtered through, and rust replaced the patches of moss that they had seen earlier on. The air was stale, filled with the unpleasant odour of dust and decay. McGucket muttered to himself more and more, in a way that made Soos sad. Pacifica's scowl seemed to grow deeper with every wrong turn they made. Even Soos' naturally boundless enthusiasm was starting to falter.

Finally, McGucket came to a sudden stop, using his flashlight to show ahead. Their path was blocked by machinery. Several strange devices were connected to the upper parts of the ship by large pipes. Various symbols still glowed faintly, probably offering instructions or warnings.

"Gimme more light, will ya?" McGucket said, rummaging through his bag to grab his tools. He frowned, obviously not finding what he was looking for. "Now, where did Ah put the dang thing…?"

"You looking for this?" Soos said, holding the crowbar. "I can help if you want. I used to be Mr. Pines' handyman, you know!"

McGucket stared at him, eyes made comically large by his coke bottle glasses. "Fer sure! Let's get to dismantlin'!"

The old man tore the machinery apart with much glee. Soos had to admit it was certainly fun in a cathartic way. Pacifica stood beside them, tapping her foot as she held up her flashlight.

"Is that's all I'm good for?" Soos heard her mumbling. "Being the world's prettiest lamp? And here I thought I'd actually contribute in some way…"

"Don't say that, dawg," Soos replied. "No one ever said a lamp was useless, right?"

She quirked an eyebrow, but otherwise said nothing.

Soos stuck out his tongue as he worked to pry open a panel. Finally, it fell to the floor with a satisfying clang that echoed in the empty space surrounding them. "There you go, dudes!"

Pacifica startled at the noise, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like a curse. McGucket only gave Soos a thumb's up, saying, "Thanks, sonny!"

The old man crawled into the space Soos had opened, holding his flashlight in his mouth. More loud clangs and bangs followed, making Pacifica fidget on her spot.

"Does he really have to be so noisy?" she griped.

McGucket finally emerged from his hole. He was holding a cylindrical doodad in his hands. "Found it!" he said, rather loudly.

"Keep it down, you crazy old coot!" Pacifica hissed. "With all the racket that you're making, who knows what kind of creepy critter might hear us?"

"Pish-posh, Ah told ya, ev'rything's been dead for years!"

The instant those words left McGucket's mouth, they heard a bloodcurdling growl echoing somewhere in the darkness.

Pacifica glared at McGucket. "Does that sound dead to you?!"

"But tha's what Stanferd said—" McGucket blinked, his confused expression replaced by a frown. "Oh. Shoulda figured."

More snarls came from the same direction as before, followed by the scratch of claws on a metal floor. Something was moving in the gloom, something that seemed all too unhappy about their intrusion into its home.

"Dudes…" said Soos. His hands tightened around his crowbar. "What do we do?!"

McGucket hid behind him, still holding the parts he had scavenged. Pacifica let out a sound of irritation, before grabbing a hammer.

"Get ready," she hissed between grit teeth. "I'm going to try to blind that thing with my flashlight. Handyboy, kill it while it's distracted."

"W-What?" said Soos. "B-But…"

"Now!" She raised her flashlight, illuminating the area in front of them. There was a yelp, and something moved, backing away until it nearly hit the wall. A creature the size of a large dog was snarling at them, body lowered and tense. Its facial features were reptilian, but the whole of its body was covered by fur—no, Soos realized upon closer inspection, by wool.

"Wait!" said Pacifica. "Don't make any sudden movement! I think… I think it's scared of us…"

The creature hissed again, woollen fur bristling. Its jaws were wide open, showing… well, not quite sharp teeth, actually.

Pacifica unwrapped a granola bar, throwing it at the ground. The creature sniffed at it suspiciously, before taking a bite. When it was finished, Pacifica tossed an apple its way. To Soos' surprise, it ate the fruit as well, with more enthusiasm than before, even.

The creature seemed less nervous now, taking a tentative step toward Soos and the others. It lowered its snout, big eyes still fixed on them. The wool around its neck was fluffier than the rest of its fur. It almost made it look like it was wearing an old lady's coat.

"It's kinda cute," said Soos. "It's like, a tiny dino dude, but with wool. A dinosheep! Or a llamasaur!"

"I'm not calling it that," said Pacifica. She threw a strawberry at the creature. It devoured it with utter delight.

"If Stanferd were here, he woulda called it sumthin' like that," McGucket said, sounding fondly amused.

Pacifica scrunched up her nose. "He really is Dipper's uncle, isn't he? And to think I thought he actually looked cool—I-I mean, competent."

McGucket burst into laughter, tears forming at the corner of his eyes. The creature startled, staring at him with a wide-eyed gaze. Before they could say anything, it scurried away, disappearing back into the darkness.

"Aw," said Soos. "And just when we were just about to befriend the little dude! Or, at least, Pacifica was. I didn't know you were so good with animals."

She was holding another apple. Without meeting Soos' gaze, she tucked it back into her bag. "I used to have ponies, you know."

"Used to?" Soos asked.

"It's not important," Pacifica said abruptly. "We got what we came for, don't we, McGucket?"

For a moment, McGucket looked sadly at her. Then he replied, "That we do."

"Good. Then let's get out of here. I'm sick of this place." She jutted her chin at Soos. "I'll take the lead. You keep the rear and watch over McGucket."

"Okay!" Soos found himself smiling at her. For someone who was afraid to be useless, she sure found her footing fast. "Let's go, hambone!"

He hummed on the way back, thinking a bit of singing would be good for team building purposes. Soon, McGucket was strumming on his banjo in a surprisingly perfect addition to Soos' nonsensical tune. Pacifica didn't even think of asking them to shut up.

As such, they did not hear the pitter-patter of clawed feet following after them.