September 15, 1991

Dear Sirius,

Harry's first year at Hogwarts started two weeks ago. He was sorted in Gryffindor.

I haven't seen him, but I did speak to McGonagall – it feels weird to call her Minerva, even though I haven't been her student in thirteen years.

She told me he looks exactly like James, except for his eyes; his eyes are Lily's. Do you remember James, on our first school day? A small ball of energy. Glasses that made his eyes seem too big for his face. Messy hair that looked like a bird's nest. New robes, the pockets already filled with sweets. He seemed so brave and fearless, but he was just as nervous and scared as the rest of us.

McGonagall said he seems more like Lily, though, in how he behaves. Kind and brave. Amazed by this sudden magic world that is revealing itself right before his eyes. Less arrogant and confident than James, in spite of his fame.

His sorting was in the Daily Prophet, with a picture someone took just before he boarded the Hogwarts Express. Poor boy. Like he needs any more publicity.

I've been cleaning out a lot of my old stuff, including pictures and other old Hogwarts things. It's all been in the same box for the past twelve years, even though I've moved several times – there is only so many jobs you can get in a town once the first person finds out your nature.

I found a picture of you and James, taken on his wedding. He has the biggest smile on his face, and so do you, because your best mate is getting married. I remember the speech you gave – I don't think anyone didn't cry. I cried, too, even though I had heard it a hundred times already, when you practiced with me and made me give you feedback. I still have it memorized, after all these years.

Deerly beloved, family, friends,

I remember how much you laughed when you thought of that "deerly". I had to stop you from putting any more stag-related jokes in your speech.

I am honoured to be able to be here today, celebrating this beautiful couple. James and Lily are two of the people I love the most in the world – they're family, especially James, my brother. I don't have enough time to tell you everything I want to say about them – I don't even have enough years on this planet for that, because they are the most amazing people in my life and there is so much to say about them.

What I will tell you about Lily is that she is fierce. You know she'll stand upright, ever proud and brave. You know when you look at her that no matter what happens, she will not let this world drag her down. She won't go down without a fight. Lily is the one who has been fighting for me for the past eight years. She dragged me through my darkest days, and I have attempted to do the same for her. Not only did she teach me how to braid my hair, she also taught me the power of kindness. She taught me to be selfless. She showed me what bravery looks like.

And James – you're my brother. You're the person I go to when it all goes wrong. You're not only my partner in crime and my best mate, you're the reason I'm the person I am today. You saved my butt so many times. You changed me from a broken child who did not know good from right, into the handsome, confident, brave man I am today – although admittedly the handsomeness was mostly on me.

And I've seen you grow too, James, from a boy who was, well, kind of a jerk, into a courageous man, the mother hen of our little group of idiots. I know you would defend the people you love with all your being, that you would sacrifice yourself for them without a thought. I know you would do that for Lily, and that she would do that for you, too. You two can trust each other blindly, and that's why I can't imagine a better couple to celebrate today.

Truth is, a lot of things are unsure. None of us know what will happen next, who will be alive tomorrow. None of us know how this will end, who will make it through and who won't. In these times, it's more important than ever to surround yourself with people you can trust blindly, people who make you strong and encourage you to be brave. People who bring out the best in you. You are those people for me, and I know you are that for each other, too. That's why I think there's no better couple imaginable than you two. Because you are going to face challenges you can't even imagine yet, and I think you've both found the perfect person to overcome those challenges with.

I want to bring out a toast to love, because these are dark times, and we're going to need a whole lot of it to get through this. I want to toast to James and Lily, because they are spreading the love and happiness we need right now. I love you two, and I want you to know that whatever happens, I'll be right here at your side, like how I know you'll be there for me too. You're not getting rid of me anytime soon. I love you two too much.

James, Lily – thank you for letting me be in your life. I wish you the very best.

You were so proud of them, so, so proud. I can't imagine that man being a traitor. But I couldn't imagine James and Lily dying, either. I always thought we would grow old together, the five of us, celebrating Christmas together with our kids, telling stories and knitting at each other's fireplaces, meeting each other's grandkids. But I haven't even seen James and Lily's son in ten years, and the only person who will grow old is me, if I survive all of this for long enough to be called old.

Maybe it would be better if you just died. Then I could finally forget about all of this and move on. It's unfair that James, Lily and Peter had to die because of you, and you are still alive.

But I don't want you to die. Not really.

Love, Remus