The last time Wendy had seen the town hall so packed was during the announcement of the mayoral race.

She had to hand it to Pacifica; the girl sure knew how to make herself look important and shame people into following her lead. It helped that Wendy had successfully conned the mayor into helping them. Poor Tyler was nursing an epic crush on her dad, which made him rather susceptible to her manipulations.

The gathered townsfolk believed the meeting was about the next edition of Pioneer Day. A look of confusion settled on every face as Wendy, Pacifica and Soos took the stage rather than the mayor. Bewilderment soon gave way to unease as Soos began to explain why they had called for a town meeting; he recounted the Pines brothers' disastrous birthday party, before explaining how their attempt to repair the dimensional portal had been thwarted by the government agents and their investigations.

"And that's why we came to see all of you dudes!" Soos finished, with a big, hopeful grin. "To ask for your help and get the Pines back home!"

Mayor Tyler's mouth was stuck in a nervous smile. "Thank you, Soos. I understand you're stuck in quite the pickle, but… why should we make those people leave? They're working for the government, they're doing this for our own good…"

"Oh, yeah?" Wendy snapped. "You're saying they evicted Soos and his family out of the Shack 'for their own good'?"

Tyler had the decency to look ashamed. "Well, I'm sure it's just temporary, once they find that everything is in order, they'll just leave… right?"

"That's the thing, dude," Soos said. "Everything's not in order. If they keep searching the Shack, they might find out about Dr. Pines' research."

"Dr. Pines?" someone in the crowd said.

"Stan's shady brother!" Wendy's friend Thompson said. "You know, the one who told us the truth about what happened last summ—"

Tyler interrupted him with a fake bout of laughter. "What's that? I don't remember anything happening last summer! Do any of you good people know what he's talking about?"

He was answered by a chorus of, "Nope!", "Doesn't ring no bells!", and of course, "Never mind all that!"

Wendy would have never thought that four simple words could summon such hatred in her. Yet, she saw red. "You cowardly pieces of shit!" she screamed. "Get your heads out of your asses for once!"

Her outburst stunned the whole of the room into silence. Poor Tyler looked like he was about to cry, but Wendy was past the point of caring.

"You're really sticking with the head-in-the-sand approach, are you?" Pacifica said.

"What other choices do we have?" Tyler said. His words brought nods and murmurs of assent from the crowd.

"The choice to properly cope with the shitty things that happened instead of pretending everything's all sunshine and rainbows!" Wendy said.

"She's right!" Soos added. "Don't you realize you're all forgetting the good that's happened, too? Durland, don't you want to remember the way your hubby rescued you in Bill's Fearamid? The whole thing was straight out of an action movie, dude!"

Deputy Edwin Durland-Blubs' eyes filled with stars. "Of course I don't! Jus' thinkin' about it still makes me feels all fuzzy inside!"

"Darling!" Sheriff Daryl Blubs-Durland said, his own eyes watering.

"And you!" Wendy said, pointing at the mayor. "My brothers said you actually talked back to Bill when he first came out of the dimensional tear. You told him to get the hell away from our town! Seriously, dude, that takes balls!"

"I was just doing my job," Tyler answered, cheeks reddening. "Someone had to do it."

"Yeah?" said Pacifica. "And now that we need you guys to make a stand again, none of you are up to it? You're just gonna let us kids deal with everything?" She made a noise of irritation. "Typical."

"There shouldn't be anything for us to deal with," Tyler said. "Like I said, we can just let those nice government people do their jobs and go home, right? There doesn't have to be a fight."

"That's not true!" Wendy said. "These guys drew first blood! None of you want justice for Soos and his family?"

Her words were met by murmurs from the crowd, and a loud, "YEAH!" from Wendy's brothers.

"It's not all that's at stake!" Soos continued. "Mr. Pines and his family need our help! Are you really gonna turn your back on the town's heroes?"

"From what I've heard, they were kinda responsible for the Apocalypse in the first place!" someone yelled.

"Robbie, so help me, if you don't keep your damn mouth shut, I'm gonna bust both of your kneecaps!" Wendy shouted back.

She felt a hint of satisfaction when he gave a choked yelp in response.

"I don't mind helping the Pines," Susan from the diner said. "Loyal customers, that lot."

"But what are we even supposed to do?" a certain whiny voice whined. Wendy groaned. Who had let Toby Determined inside the building? "W-We're not heroes, we're just normal, boring people!"

Pacifica smiled in vindication. "And that's how we'll win. By being normal, boring people."

There was another stunned silence. Wendy rubbed the bridge of her nose, sighing. She loved her hometown, and (most of) its quirky denizens, but man were those guys dumb.

"Huh?" said that guy who always wore shirts with the American flag. "What's that s'posed to say?"

Pacifica looked like she was stifling a scream. After taking a deep breath, she explained, "By being aggressively average. That can't be hard for you lot, can it?"

"So no supernatural shenanigans," Wendy said. "No cute character quirks. Just your average town, filled with average people."

"Huh," said Mayor Tyler. "That doesn't sound too bad, actually."

"So that 'Never mind all that' nonsense?" Pacifica said. "Weaponize it. When those people start asking question about the shady stuff Stan Pines was up to last summer, lie to their faces. Make it so he's an exemplary citizen, the town darling, the man who brings in the tourists and their money."

The whole of the crowd burst out in laughter. "Stan, an exemplary citizen?" someone called out, while another added, "That might be asking too much of us!"

"Ugh!" Pacifica said, prompting more chuckles from the townspeople.

"That's a tall order, yes, but I think we can all manage," said Tyler. "I was afraid you kids wanted us to be violent or something!"

Wendy reined in the wish to say she was still considering that option.

"Alright, dudes and dudettes!" Soos said, punching in the air. "Let's pull a con to make Stan proud!"

To Wendy's surprise, everyone actually cheered. Something bubbled in her chest, a light and airy sense of relief. Soon, the townspeople were sharing excited suggestions. These guys weren't fighters (or even a little brave, to tell the truth), but they wouldn't let one of their own hanging, let alone the four heroes who had saved them from a demonic invasion.

Soos raised a fist, and Wendy bumped it with a lazy grin.

"Nice job, people," she told her partners-in-crime. "Phase One of the plan's done. On to Phase Two?"

Pacifica grimaced. "It won't be as easy, but, yes, on to Phase Two."

Their second meeting of the day was in a significantly stranger place.

Wendy had never been in the Multibear's cavern before, and the lumberjack in her liked the minimalist look of the place. The great beast had also helped them contact the other creatures of the forest or, at least, those with enough sense to stay in company of humans without trying to make a meal out of them.

None of Gravity Falls' strangest citizens looked happy to be stuck together in this cramped space. The gnomes complained about the manotaurs, who complained about the unicorns, who complained about Wendy (she covertly sent them the middle finger when no one else was looking). All sorts of little critters skittered at the feet of the strange assembly. Wendy nearly kicked a leprecorn by accident, and she forced down an urge to grab a plaidypus and bring him home.

Pacifica's new weird little pet had come along for the ride this time. The Northwest girl had actually put a collar on her llamasaur, one studded with freakin' diamonds. The critter didn't seem to mind, and frankly, part of Wendy thought it was a little metal that the once prissy little princess went around with an alien dino on a leash.

When the place was finally filled to the brim, Soos recounted the happenings of the past few weeks, in a way that tended to ramble in some places. Wendy could see that the crowd's interest was fading fast. She herself was starting to nod off when Pacifica came forward. She tugged on the llamasaur's leash, and the creature let out a piercing shriek, grabbing everyone's attention.

"What Soos means to say," Pacifica began, "is that the Mystery Shack has been taken over by government agents."

"Gover-what now?" Jeff the gnome asked.

"Some noisy types," Wendy explained. "Suffice to say, they're here to prove that creatures like you exist."

"Why?" boomed one of the manotaurs. "It's not like we're hidin' or sumthin'!"

"I mean," Jeff continued, "we kind of are, but the point is that no one would be dumb enough to think that we don't exist." He gave a pause, before adding, "Right?"

"The rest of the world isn't like Gravity Falls," Pacifica said. "So yeah, most people don't even know creatures like you are a thing. To them, you only exist in fairytale stories they tell children."

Her words were met with angered mutters from the stranger denizens of Gravity Falls. One gnome even exclaimed, "Oh, come on! Stories for children?"

Pacifica waited for everyone to calm down before speaking again. "Yes, well, you'd be considered freaks of nature by anyone outside of town. No amount of whining is going to change that."

Again, sputters and shouts filled Multibear's cave. After a while, Wendy cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, "Hey, SHUT IT! We're not finished!"

"Ugh!" Jeff the gnome said. "Then stop beating around the bush and tell us why we're here!"

"Easy," said Wendy. "We want those guys gone. And the only way to pull it off is by pretending none of you exist and making them look like total dunces."

Pacifica pointed at the crowd with a perfectly manicured finger. "So no going into town to steal Susan's pies." The gnomes grumbled. "No arm wrestling match with the local bikers." The manotaurs muttered. "No following people around asking them to 'hey, listen'." The fairies fidgeted.

"What about karaoke nights?" Multibear asked, sorrowfully.

"No. Karaoke. Nights."

"That's it?" Jeff said, as everyone began to whisper among themselves. "You made us go all through this trouble just to ban us from town? Well, what if we don't want to? You're humans, you can't tell us what to do!"

"Fine by me," Pacifica said, cool as ice. "If you want to end up being dissected for the sake of science, be my guest."

"Dis-what now?" a gnome shouted.

"Cutting you open to see what's inside of you," Wendy said. It was a bit of a dick move, but she did snort when the crowd started to panic as a result.

"They wouldn't," Jeff said, face going paler. "We're p-people!"

"Not to these guys," Wendy said, putting on her nastiest grin. "To them, you're specimens."

"We should break all of their bones!" Chutzpar shouted, and his fellow manotaurs roared in agreement. "That would make them leave!"

"They'd come back with more people, you bovine-brained nitwit!" Jeff retorted.

"What d'you call me, pipsqueak?" Chutzpar roared, jabbing a finger that was as big as the gnome's entire body.

"Guys, GUYS!" Wendy yelled. "We're on the same team! Take it down a notch!"

Fortunately, the clamour died down. Soos opened his arms, giving the crowd a tentative smile before saying, "So, you understand what's at stake, right? Can we count on you, dudes?"

Wendy held her breath. Those guys wouldn't be dumb enough to refuse such a perfectly adequate suggestion, would they?

"Oh, sure, why not," Jeff eventually said. Behind him, the other gnomes were nodding and making squeaky sounds of assent. "It's not like we actually like humans anyway."

"Hiding is the way of the COWARD, and we're too MANLY to—"

"You will do as these children ask," Multibear cut him off. He sounded like a stern high school teacher, which was wild in Wendy's opinion. "To protect the whole of the forest, yes, but also in recognition of the role they played in saving our lives last summer."

Wendy let out a breath as the manotaurs grumbled and fell silent. She felt a weight off her shoulders. Maybe it came from a shared hatred of any source of authority. Maybe it was the fact that they were all survivors of Weirdmageddon. Or maybe it was simply that they loved their weird little corner of the world as much as their human counterparts did.

Still, it warmed Wendy's heart to have the whole of Gravity Falls on their side.

When they were finally outside the cavern, Soos took his walky-talky, saying excitedly, "Guys! We did it!"

"Good job, kiddos!" McGucket's voice came through the receiver, "So, we're done with Phase One and Phase Two?"

"Yep!" Soos said. "On to Phase Three?"

Wendy could almost sense the old man grinning from his end. "Eyup. On to Phase Three."

Despite their harrowing circumstances, a part of Ford found it thrilling to be back in the action.

These past few days, they had gone on more missions, intercepting raiding parties to steal supplies. In addition, Stan had finally convinced Yaspa to take a more… aggressive approach when dealing with their opponents.

"Those Eye of Dawn guys are good for posturing, but not much else," he had told her. "Deep down, they're cowards. Give people the means to fight back, and they'll show these bullies who's boss, I tell ya."

It was a risky gamble, one that could lead to much heartache if things went wrong. Still, Yaspa had agreed to his proposition with a grim nod, hinting to how desperate she had become.

And so they toured the nearby villages, teaching the townspeople how to defend themselves. To Ford's relief, Stan's assessment was spot-on. When faced with mob of angry peasants with pitchforks, the raiders were nowhere as cocky as they once had been, often panicking and scattering to the four winds.

Tonight was not any different. Stan punctuated each of his punch with a quip, giving a bark of manic laughter once in a while. For his part, Ford kept silent as he beat the snot out of the grey-robed goons. He did, however, sneak in some of the flourishes the children had suggested into his fighting style. Occasionally, he could hear Stan shouting things along the lines of, "Poser!" or "Neeerd!"

The two brothers soon found themselves in front of the same target, a short and weedy young man who was holding his spear the wrong way. For a moment, Ford felt a hint of pity for the poor fellow—but only for a moment.

"Please, sir!" he said. "I-I just joined! Don't hurt me!"

"Yeah?" Stan said, fists still raised in the air. "So what? Are we s'posed to go easy on ya?"

"I just wanted to be popular with girls!" the young man whined. "There was this guy at one of Lord Tappaz's rallies, he said—"

"You think girls would want some wet noodle who can't even stick to his convictions? Or worse, a bully?" Stan snorted. "Pal, you got a lot to learn about women…"

"Oh," the man said. "W-What should I do, then?"

"Be the underdog! Fight against the power! That's sure to get you some gals moonin' over ya."

"R-Really?"

"C'mon, look at me, kid. Would a face as handsome as mine ever lie?"

The young man hesitated. "I-I wouldn't know, sir…"

Stan pretended to lunge at him, making the grey-robed man scream and fall on his behind as a result. Ford's brother let out a bark of laughter. "Hah! Relax, kid, I'm feeling—what is that fancy-schmancy word? Magnanimous? Anyway, run along before I change my mind, buster."

With a yelp, the guy jumped to his feet, scampering in the opposite direction. Soon, he was nothing but a pathetic speck on the horizon. Meanwhile, cheers were erupting from everywhere; the villagers were celebrating their victory, hoisting the members of Yaspa's group on their shoulders. Stan and Ford shared a grin before exchanging a high six.

Another job well done.

It was the second pen Dipper had chewed through in a matter of days.

He had been busy leafing through the notes he'd written about something Kyan called ritual magic. So far, Dipper had had no luck when using sigils. Ritual magic, however, consumed physical components to power more complicated spells, such as making illusions or finding distant objects. Of course, now that his pen had all but exploded on everything he'd written so far… Dipper sighed. Maybe the universe was telling him he just wasn't meant to learn magic.

He glanced at the empty cot next to his. Mabel was probably wandering around the place, helping people with their chores and generally being the human equivalent of a ray of sunshine (or so she claimed). Still, she wasn't the only one to be so cheerful these days. Something had changed over the last week; a sense of hope had sprouted in the hearts of the people of the rebellion. With each new victory, this little sampling grew a little bigger. And—Dipper was fiercely proud to admit it—his uncles seemed to be the main instigators of that change.

Dipper suddenly perked up, hearing a commotion happening in the distance. He rushed out of the room, heading toward the source of those cheers. A crowd was forming, blocking the entrance of the tunnels. Yaspa's tall form was the most visible, but Dipper was more interested in the two familiar figures standing beside her. People were swarming around his uncles, clapping them on the back and shaking their hands. Dipper tried to push his way through. Considering he was about as imposing as a stick, it was more difficult than anticipated. Finally, Grunkle Ford caught sight of him.

"Dipper!" he called out, opening his arms for a hug.

Thankfully, people parted to allow Dipper to embrace his uncle. For the past few days, Grunkle Ford's mood had been steadily improving. Of course, being the stubborn old man he was, he hadn't told Dipper or his sister why he'd been so worried before, but Dipper knew him well enough to guess. It was irritating to be kept in the dark like he was some helpless little baby, yes, but as long as his uncle was doing better, Dipper didn't mind.

Mabel had also made her way through the crowd, and she tackled Stan with a hug, making him laugh. Soon, she was dragging him by the hand, "C'mon, you guys! The cook is preparing a feast to thank the two of you!"

"A feast?" Stan said with a snort. "Like, we'll be allowed to eat more rations than usual?"

"No, you silly! We've got real food this time! The cook said he's gonna make a traditional meal, just for you guys!"

"A traditional meal?" Ford said, smiling. "That could be quite the experience!"

"Pro'bly not kosher, though," Stan said in jest.

The meal, it turned out, was delicious. The various dishes included all kinds of root vegetables (which were, like most plant life on this planet, bleached white) and the meat of a crustacean creature Kyan called an acaloah. For dessert, they were served beignets made with the same kind of purple fruit Stan had stolen when they had first arrived in Dimension 52. While they ate, Stan recounted their latest mission, taking great care to make their opponents sound as pathetic as possible (and, by extension, exaggerating his and Ford's fighting prowess). Soon, he was the centre of attention, to his great delight. Sitting beside him, Ford simply shook his head with a fond smile.

Stan's face was still plastered with the stupidest, smuggest grin by the time they had returned to their room for the night.

"Hah!" he said, laying down his cot with a contented grin. "A guy could get used to this. Who knows, this might turn out to be a half-decent vacation." His words were marred by an immediate frown. "Or maybe not. No beaches, no babes, no booty… not to mention that bunch of crazies after my hot bod..."

"Please don't use those two words to refer to yourself ever again," Dipper said.

"I concur," Ford added.

"Aw, lookit those poor nerds. Jealous of my rugged good looks and roguish charm, are ya?"

"Don't be so gloomy, guys!" Mabel said. "I know we can make this a fun experience even with all those bad things happening around us!"

Three pairs of eyes filled with skepticism turned to her. Mabel's smile faltered for a moment, but in the end it remained firmly in place.

"I believe in us," she repeated. "We've survived worse. And they really shoulda thought about it before messing with us."

"Y'know, I can get behind that," Stan said. "Revenge and spite, now that's more up my alley."

Ford chuckled. Still, not long after, his face grew more serious. "I know it's tempting, but let's not get too overconfident, everyone. Right now, we need to focus our attention on finding a way to get home."

"Well, aren'tcha a cheerful guy, bro," Stan said dryly.

"There's that portal," Dipper said. "At the Temple of Dawn, I mean. If they manage to pluck us from our dimension, I guess it can send us home too?"

"Pluck us from our dimension," Ford repeated in an absent-minded manner. "How did they pull it off exactly?"

"I was wondering the same thing," Dipper said. "I mean, how did they even learn that Grunkle Stan was the one who defeated Bill? And from another dimension, too!"

Stan shrugged. "How the hell should I know? Don't they use magic?"

"Their head priestess certainly does," Ford said. "She mistook me for you because—" His eyebrows shot up. "Oh. 'The face of the man who will defeat Bill Cipher'. Can it be that simple?"

"What? What are you talking about, Poindexter?"

"The Oracle. Jheselbraum. When I met her, that's what she told me. Back then, I thought that…" Grunkle Ford hesitated. "I thought that I would be the one to defeat Bill. But she meant you."

"Oh-kay," Stan said, "that's freaky. She saw the future or somethin'?"

"Who knows? I didn't put much stock in her stories back then, but now…"

"So to make things short, I'm actually some prophesized hero who was s'posed to save the world, yadda, yadda, yadda?" Stan rubbed his chin. "Huh. You'd think I'd feel smug about this, but I just think it's dumb. Who would choose a kid from friggin' Jersey of all places?"

"Someone who's never been there, obviously," Dipper said.

Both Stan and Ford sent him a scathing look.

"Watch it, buster," said Stan. "Only a Jersey native can say shit about Jersey."

"Dad was born there!" Mabel said. "We're like, half-Jerseyan or something."

"Awright, I'll allow it," Stan said with a snort. "Even if your other half came from freakin' California of all places."

Mabel stuck out her tongue at him. Stan retaliated by doing the same. From his cot, Ford was muttering something along the lines of, "Sixty-year-old, and he still does this."

"Well," Stan said, "s'not that I don't like having a chat with you losers, but I'm an old man and my back's killin' me. Time to sleep, people." He gave a significant pause before adding, "That means you too, Sixer."

"Yes, yes, of course, Mother," Ford said, rolling his eyes. Stan blew him a raspberry as well.

"Nighty night, Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford! You too, brobro!"

"Yeah, goodnight, everyone."

"Goodnight, children. Goodnight, Stanley."

"Whatever, g'night, you dorks."

In a surprising turn of events, Grunkle Ford was actually the first to fall asleep. Grunkle Stan soon followed, filling their room with snores worthy of the noise of a motorboat. For his part, Dipper remained awake; he hadn't finished rewriting everything that had been blotted out in his earlier accident on a new, cleaner page.

"Whatcha doin'?" a familiar voice whispered.

With a sigh, Dipper scooted a little on his cot, allowing his sister to climb beside him.

"Just copying some stuff," he muttered back. "Shouldn't you go to sleep?"

"Pff, yeah, right, like I'm one to stick to rules. Or common sense!" She was silent for a while, before adding, "Besides, I can't get my mind to settle. I keep thinking, y'know, about going home and—"

"Oh," Dipper said, feeling a bit abashed. "Mabel, if you're worried about it, then—"

"Nahhh," she cut him off. "I'm not worried. Well, I am, but just a little bit. I'm making a list of everything I plan to do when we get home, you see. It helps me feel better!"

Dipper found himself smiling. "Huh. That's not a bad idea."

"I'll need a tight schedule to pull off all my projects, you know? First off, Wendy asked me to set up her dad with the mayor. Apparently, there's a lot of pining from afar, and she's getting sick of it." Mabel grinned wickedly. "But not to worry! Mabel Pines, matchmaker extraordinaire, is on the case!"

"Mabel, all of your matchmaking attempts resulted in disaster."

"Not all of them!" she protested. "Robbie and Tambry are still together!"

"Don't you think you just could, like, let things run their course naturally?"

"Nooo, that would be boring." For a moment, she appeared deep in thought. "Last year, I wanted to match Grunkle Stan with Soos' grandma, but now I see it won't work. No offense to Stan, but she's too good for him, you know? She's practically a perfect person."

"I'm not taking part in this conversation. I'm not even going to listen to you anymore."

"You know who would be cute together?" she continued, completely ignoring his interruption. "Grunkle Ford and McGucket! They could be adorable old nerds together and do… well, whatever adorable old nerds do together!"

Dipper groaned, putting his journal over his face. "Again. Not getting involved into this."

"Okay, Mr. Boring-McBoringpants," she said. "I knew you'd be useless anyway."

"Just… don't try to match me with anyone, okay? Last time, your schemes nearly got me killed by a homicidal shapeshifting alien."

"Oh, I know it's no use getting involved in your love life. Besides, I'm sure you'll be fine on that front."

Dipper's face peered from under his book. "Really? What makes you say that?"

"Aw, c'mon! You're nice, smart and brave! I know there's someone out there who'll be super lucky to have you as a boyfriend. You just have to be patient 'til love comes your way, brobro."

"Huh." Dipper smiled. "You're not just saying that, are you? You're not teasing me, you're actually being sincere."

"Of course I'm not teasing you," Mabel said, tucking a strand of hair behind one ear. "I'm the bestest, most supportive sister ever, why would I do that?"

Dipper gave her a look, and she cackled.

"Anyway, where was I?" Mabel said. "Oh yeah, coming up with the perfect date! What's McGucket's favourite food, you think? Grunkle Ford's a disaster in the kitchen, so I'll have to step up for the cooking and the decorations, but that's nothing I can't handle—"

In response, Dipper only groaned again.

Dipper awoke in a daze, still feeling a bit sleepy. His uncles were speaking in low tones. Ford gave Dipper a rueful smile when he caught his nephew staring blearily at him.

"Ah, sorry for waking you up, my boy," he said. "It's still very early. Go back to sleep."

"Ugh, if it's that early, why aren't you two sleeping, then?" Mabel said with a yawn. Dipper hadn't noticed she was awake too. "I told you before, you two need your old man rest!"

Ford chuckled. "We're leaving on a mission, Stanley and I."

Dipper sat up abruptly. "Wait! You would have left without waking us up?"

Their uncles both looked suitably ashamed. "Well, it is really early," Stan said. "You kids need a good night of sleep too."

Mabel crossed her arms. "Hmph! As if I wouldn't say goodbye to my favourite old softies!"

"I'm not a softie," Stan scoffed, pointing at his bicep. "Look at these guns. I'm prime tough guy material, I tell ya."

"Pff! You are a certifiable softie!" Mabel said, almost like an accusation. "You carry pictures of us in your wallet! Pictures of Soos and Wendy, too!"

Stan squinted at her. "Why do you know what's in my wallet?"

"Oh, I just needed to copy your signature in case we ever needed to forge it. I put your wallet back where I found it when I was finished, don't you worry!"

"Huh." Stan rubbed his jaw. "I guess that's a good reason."

"Alright, then," Ford said, flinging his bag across his shoulder. "We need to get going."

"Ah, wait, Grunkle Ford!" Mabel said, snapping her fingers. "Before I forget it, do you know what's Mr. McGucket's favourite food?"

Dipper groaned, while Ford blinked guilelessly. "Huh?" he said. "What brought this on, sweetheart?"

"Nothing," she lied with the cutest smile possible. "I was just wondering!"

"Beans," Grunkle Ford replied. "Fidds was mad about beans, I recall."

"Ugh, really? I'd hoped for something fancier…"

"What's that, dear?"

"I can work with that. I can work with almost anything." She glanced surreptitiously toward Stan, her eyes narrowing. "Well, almost anything."

Poor Grunkle Ford looked completely nonplussed. "Well… glad to be of help… I guess?"

"C'mon, Poindexter," Stan said. "That Yaspa lady is going to give us an earful if we're late."

Ford nodded, before turning to Dipper and Mabel. "You two stay out of trouble, you hear?"

"How would we even get into trouble if we're stuck here all day?" Dipper muttered.

In response, Ford reached out to ruffle his hair. "Take care, both of you."

When the two of them were gone, Dipper flopped down his cot. "Ugh. They weren't so darn overprotective last summer. What's gotten into them?"

"I know they're worried," Mabel said, "but we're not little babies. We've been through worse!"

"Yeah. And how are we supposed to help if we spend our days here being useless?"

"Oh, you don't have to do anything," Mabel said, deepening her voice in a mimicry of Ford. "You two are small, helpless children who must be protected!"

"Like we even have the option of going back to being regular kids after what happened last summer," Dipper muttered, bitterly.

"Are you alright, brobro?" Mabel said, her brow creasing. "Do you need to talk about it?"

"You know, I'm fine, actually," Dipper replied. "I'm more annoyed than mad. It would be easier to find a solution if they just, you know, let us help."

"Well, at least you're studying magic! You're actually doing something!"

Dipper sniffed. "Yeah, well… that's kind of going nowhere. I doubt I'll much of help on that front."

"Aw, c'mon! Don't lose hope! I bet you'll be zapping bad guys in no time! Speaking of zapping…" She wiggled her eyebrows. "Wanna go find Kyan? I'm sure he won't mind helping you practise again!"

Dipper narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh, no. I know that look. Please don't tell me you have a crush on him, please."

"What?!" Mabel snorted. "Me, having a crush on him?! He's like, a clone of you, but blue! You know I don't date nerds! Besides, I don't think he'd be into me…"

"Why do you say that?" Dipper said with a frown.

In response, she only laughed again. "C'mon! Time to make a wizard out of you, Dipdop!"

"So," Dipper muttered, more acridly than he would have liked, "what I am doing wrong again?"

He had been practising for hours, and yet he had nothing to show for it. Kyan had chosen to teach simple ritual spells, like one that served to make someone's skin tougher or another that imbued its target with supernatural luck. Despite all of Dipper's efforts, nothing came of it.

"Ugh," he spat, grabbing his head with both hands. "Let's just take a break, I'm beat."

"Good idea!" Mabel said, patting the spot next to her.

He dropped to the ground with a sigh, and she eyed him sympathetically. Kyan continued to pace, refusing to meet Dipper's gaze.

"You doin' okay, brobro?" Mabel asked.

"'Course I am," he said. "I guess my theory's right. I'm not from this dimension, so I can't access its pool of magical energy or whatever."

"I'm sorry," said Kyan. "You tried so hard, and yet…"

Dipper managed a grin. "Hey, it's no big deal. It was nice to learn about it, anyway."

There was an uncomfortable silence, then Kyan made a strange face, almost as he was stifling an urge to laugh.

"What is it?" Mabel said, feigning indignation. "Are you mocking us, sir?"

"No," Kyan said, "it's just… seeing you two sitting side by side, it struck me… if not for Mabel's hair, I wouldn't be able to tell you two apart. It's just so strange, having two different people look so alike." His smile turned sheepish. "I never even knew what a twin was before I met you guys."

"Why does the word exist in your language if you people can't have twins?" Dipper asked.

Kyan shrugged. "It's got something to do with the Lord of Twilight, I think. They say he's the god of monsters and twins. It's just… for the longest time, I thought a twin was some kind of legendary creature, like something out of a story!"

Mabel laughed, elbowing her brother in the ribs. "You hear that, Dipdop? In this dimension, we're a rare, mythical breed!"

"Well, it's pretty rare for people here to have siblings in the first place. My parents were considered freaks for having me while they had already one child." Kyan's eyes darted to the side. "Among other reasons…"

"Other reasons?" Mabel asked brightly, making Dipper hit his forehead with his palm.

Kyan blushed a deeper blue. "O-Oh… it's… I mean… it's really…" For a moment, he fidgeted on his spot. Then, he pushed his bangs aside, showing a third eye in the middle of his forehead. "D-Do you understand, now?"

Dipper exchanged a look with Mabel, and she shrugged. "No, we don't actually," he said. "Doesn't everyone here have more than two eyes?"

"O-Oh, no, t-that's not it… my third eye, it's green. Except it should be blue, like my other two eyes… I've got green spots on my knees too. I guess it's just a freak mutation or something…"

"What?!" Mabel exclaimed. "And people bully you because of that?! What kind of poo-poo reason is that?!"

Kyan blinked. "Well, um, it's okay, I get why it makes people uncomfortable…"

"It's not okay!" Mabel said. "Ugh, even in another dimension, jerks find bogus reasons to push around people!"

"You really think it's bogus?" Kyan said.

"It's as bogus as bullying someone 'cause they have six-fingered hands! Or because they're born with a birthmark on their forehead!"

This time, it was Dipper who found himself blushing. "Mabel," he said, unconsciously combing his bangs in front of said birthmark. "It's really not the same, you know, you can't compare those kinda things…"

"Six-fingered hands?" Kyan asked. "Is it so rare in your world?"

"It's common in yours?" Dipper said, equally puzzled.

"It's not common, no, but people don't really make a fuss about it. They find it freakier if you don't have the right number of eyes. Like, if you have just two eyes even after reaching adulthood. It was said that people would be born like that because they had been cursed in a past life or something."

"Hah!" said Mabel. "So everyone here must find Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford really weird!"

"W-What?!" Kyan sputtered. "That's not what I meant!"

"Admit it, they're super freaky by Dimension 52 standards!" Mabel continued. "They're identical twins, for one."

"Well, it's true that I can't tell them apart…"

"They don't look that alike," Dipper said.

"It's easy!" his sister added. "You gotta look at their hair! Grunkle Ford's hair is, well, floofy."

"Floofy? I think the translator's not working right. What is 'floofy'?"

"Floofy! You know, like… bwoop!" Mabel gestured at her head, as if miming their uncle's apparently distinctive hair texture was going to help.

"Just look at their hands," Dipper said, taking pity on poor Kyan. "Stan doesn't have six fingers."

"Oh, yes, of course," Kyan said with a chuckle. "I bet Yaspa still can't tell which one is which either."

"Same goes for that high priestess lady," Dipper said with a snort. "She thought Ford was Stan."

"Huh," said Kyan. "That would explain why she would use a scrying spell to find your uncle Ford even though she was looking for your uncle Stan."

"You can use scrying spells to find people, not just objects?" Dipper frowned, suddenly apprehensive.

"Yes. It's a bit hard to pull off since you need a part of the person's body. Like hair, or blood. That's why Yaspa chose this place as a hideout. Being underground protects us from that kind of spell."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Dipper, "if they had the necessary material to use a scrying spell to pinpoint Grunkle Ford's location while we were in our own dimension, then…" His eyebrows shot up. "Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no!"

"Then whenever your uncle would leave the hideout, it would mean..." Kyan went pale as well. "Oh."

Dipper jumped to his feet, heart pounding. "We need to warn Grunkle Ford. Now!"