October 24, 1993
Dear Sirius,
What's happening? I have a new job, and I love it. I get to help children, teach them new things, give them guidance and motivate them to develop their talents. I get to do for them what our professors did years ago. I get to see the new Marauders – Fred and George Weasley, sometimes with Lee Jordan – and witness their jokes. I can make a difference, I have a challenging job where I learn new things every day, with (mostly) great colleagues. I'm back at Hogwarts, the place that changed my life, the place that welcomed me, that granted me happiness for seven years. I can see Lily and James's son every day.
For the first time since it happened – next week it will be twelve years – I am genuinely happy.
And I know, I know it's not all good. I know you are still out there – my mass-murderer best friend and love of my life. Harry is struggling with the Dementors, my best friends are dead, Voldemort might not be gone forever. But I feel like it might be okay, eventually, and that's a feeling I haven't had in a long time.
Merlin, it's great being back here. Kind of strange that I'm the teacher in the scenario now, though. I couldn't even tell you and James to shut up when you kept talking during class, but for some reason it's easier now. Students seem to actually like me. Last week, I had to give this kid detention for fighting with classmates. But instead of just having him write lines, I made him help with preparing the next lesson and had a good talk with him while we were doing it. Turns out he's facing some trouble at home and is just really stressed about school, like he can't get a grip. I had a talk with his Head of House, McGonagall, a few days ago, and she promised to look out for him. I also made a deal with the kid that he'd tell me if he was struggling, and told him that my office is always open. He seems a lot more laid-back now, more at peace in his own skin. And I think this is the kind of teacher I want to be, the kind students can always talk to if they need someone. I stacked some chocolate in my office and made sure I had a kettle, so I can always make tea if someone turns up on my doorstep and wants to talk with me or even just sit there for a while.
Peeves and I picked up right where we left it sixteen years ago, when I left Hogwarts. Our war of insults and mini-pranks has continued, though it's not as big as it used to be; don't want to set a bad example for the kids!
Talking to Minerva (I'm slowly getting used to it!) has been great too, and just sitting in the teacher's room with everyone else, talking about this and that and drinking tea. And walking through the corridors, and past the lake, and past the edge of the forest. And visiting Hagrid, and enjoying the view from the Astronomy Tower, and going to Hogsmeade, and sitting in the Great Hall for meals, and going to the library...
It's great to be back home.
Love, Remus