And one more emotional chapter before we get back to war business ;)
Chapter 36 –The Poet
Unrest and uneasy tension circled in the palace as soon as Xerxes arrived. All attempts to talk with Arielle about the subject were unfruitful. Cera tried to have words with her sister but was immediately left with a cold shoulder. Arielle requested to be alone and since then, a little over a week, she'd confined herself to her room.
While Ku had duties of her own in the palace she took mental notes of all everything that went on in the home. She liked to think that she knew Arielle the best even more so than Cera. Her last conversation with Arielle concerning the Persian did not end well and she was sure this one was going to follow the same course.
Ku entered the empress' quarters with caution. She saw Arielle sitting on the floor staring at the rug. It was the exact same position she was in this morning. Ku sighed and carried a tray of fruit and sherbet with her.
She set the tray down on the table and took a seat opposite of Arielle. She poured the drink into their respected glasses and stared at Arielle's blank eyes.
"I don't like to see you like this, Arielle," she broke the silence. "I overheard Xerxes talking with Kuba. He's going to return to Balaam soon because he's waiting for a message from Persia."
Arielle's eyes flickered up to the maid. She almost forgot that they were at war with Xerxes' brothers as she continued to battle her own demons. This was all just horrible timing, she thought. This wasn't a good time to be selfish.
"Are you going to give him an answer?" Ku asked. "You shouldn't string him along, Arielle. You've kept him waiting long enough."
"I'm not stringing him along," Arielle retorted with a sharp tongue. "I told him I needed time to think it over. Aren't I allowed to decide who I should be with and who not to be with?"
Ku snuffed a laugh. "Since when does anyone stop you from doing anything." she spat.
Arielle's eyes grew twice their size, surprised by her friend's sudden witty comeback. It was so unlike Ku to strike back nastily in the way she did. She was so used to Ku's kind and calming nature that she didn't know how to react to the comment.
"You've always got what you wanted," the Assyrian continued with her spiel. "You were raised in a large home and given everything you desired since birth. You mow people down when they don't agree with you all the time."
Arielle's lip twitched. "That is not true!"
"It is!"
Ku took a moment to compose herself and she sighed, staring into the wild eyes of her friend.
"I'm saying this because I care about you, Arielle," she said, softer this time around. "You can't have your cake and eat it too. You like Xerxes. You told me so and you told him too. But you can't just sleep with him whenever you want and throw him away like he's disposable. It's very obvious he cares about you more than you want him to."
In that moment, Arielle lowered her guard. She felt she was being attacked by all sides. Even her own friend said words that she never expected. She knew how she could be sometimes. Difficult: that was the word her grandmother used all the time. Yes, she was difficult and she knew it but she made no effort to change her behavior.
"I'm…afraid that I will be hurt again," she finally admitted aloud.
Ku grinned and grabbed her friend's hand. "Then you should tell Xerxes that. He is willing to listen to you. You're the one calling the shots here!"
"Would he really be willing to court me for years?"
"He's waited this long, over a year now," Ku reminded her. "He also asked permission from your parents and that is admirable."
Arielle crookedly smiled and then her eyes darkened. "This is my grandmother's fault. She's the one who pushed me to build a trust with Xerxes."
She received a slap to her hand and hissed.
"You stop that!" Ku snapped. "This isn't anyone's fault but your own! Stop blaming others for your actions, Arielle. I'm pretty sure your grandmother wasn't standing by the bed cheering you on while you were rolling around in bed with Xerxes like a couple of weasels."
Arielle's mouth gaped. "When did you become so hard, Ku?" she rubbed her stinging hand.
"Just because Xerxes has to put up with your shitty attitude doesn't mean I have to." Ku lifted the glass with a shimmering smile.
"Careful, Ku, I could have you beheaded for speaking to an empress like that," she joked lightly. "Well, I…should go talk to Xerxes." She thought she'd put it off long enough.
After searching endlessly she finally found Xerxes in the atrium by the fountain in the center of the palace. She fixed her hair and inwardly slapped herself. She probably looked horrible as she hardly eaten the last week and couldn't get a wink of sleep.
She casually sat down on the bench beside him and Xerxes gave her a warm smile. Her hand stretched across his lap and took his hand.
"I've come to a decision," she held her breath and felt sick to her core. "I…I will allow you to court me."
His brown eyes sparkled and he turned to embrace her.
"But I have a few things I need to get off my chest."
He let out a chuckle. "Why does that not surprise me? I'm all ears, Arielle."
Where to begin? She took a big inhalation and stated, "I have issues."
Xerxes stared into her uncertain eyes and then he started to laugh. Undoubtedly, he took a massive blow to the shoulder and he snuffed his laughter.
"I'm serious!" she pleaded. "I'm not the easiest person to get along with and it's been pointed out to me that I put my problems on others. I also don't like to listen," she went down the list, "and I can be very stubborn sometimes and when I don't get my way I throw a fit."
"I already know this," he stated. "Fear not, empress, we will work on that," he said assertively with a hint of playfulness. He paddled her thigh and grinned.
Arielle crinkled her eyebrows in response to his laid back attitude. "I just pointed out all my flaws and you're still willing to court me?"
"The first step of fixing your problems is recognizing that you have them," he said, gazing into her perplexed eyes. "I have problems of my own. We all do. We'll discover each other and work on those problems together, yes?"
She smiled. "You must really like me if you're willing to put up with me."
"I do really like you, Arielle and I like your family and your daughter. You're far too hard on yourself but once I break down that wall, you'll see that I care about you and maybe you'll finally let me in." He kissed her flushed cheek.
Her heart palpated rapidly from the gentle kiss and she suddenly felt like she was a teenager again though she never felt this way when she was with Bayan. She desperately wanted to change the subject as she wasn't skilled in expressing her emotions especially to someone who was so patient with her. Patience wasn't in her vocabulary.
"What –what are some of your flaws? Since I've just ousted myself in every way possible," she laughed uneasily.
"Well," Xerxes rubbed his trimmed beard. "I can get very jealous."
Gabrielle twirled the vial of fennel oil as she strolled down the hallway. Once she was notified that the physician extracted every bit of oil from the root of the fennel plants she immediately went to the infirmary. He told her that the process was excruciatingly difficult and it required over ten plants to acquire the tiny vial of supposed magic.
She pushed the door open with her back and kept her eyes fixated on the vial. She had her doubts that this was going to cure Anastasia's blindness. After all, Eksama said herself that the oil wouldn't cure blindness indefinitely.
"Xena, are you awake?" she called out. "I got the oil. It's not much but the physician said two drops a day would do the trick."
She parted the curtains towards the bed and found her wife in her dark robes and pants. Her arms fell limp. She didn't expect her to be up and walking around so soon after the spar.
"Oh," she choked. "Should you really be up? It's only been ten days. I don't want you to strain yourself."
Xena tightened the laces around her long sleeves and turned her back. "I can't stay in bed forever. I'm healed enough. I was waiting for the oil to be made. I want to go to Balaam to give it to Anastasia."
"Balaam?" Gabrielle wavered. "So soon? We just got here."
"And now we're about to leave." Xena spun around and met face to face with her small spouse. "I've already packed our belongings. After we see Ana then we'll return to Scythia."
She brushed by Gabrielle and stalked out of the room. Gabrielle was left alone, miffed and dazed by her wife's icy tone. Apologizing just wasn't going to be enough. Fighting Eksama to prove her worth wasn't enough either. Gabrielle didn't know how else to make her wife see that she was truly sorry for what happened.
Ernak and Csaba called for a meeting with Eksama and they all gathered in the conference room. Most of the beginning of the meeting was the three staring at one another. Csaba felt a bit awkward knowing that this woman was responsible for harming his mother and now he was inclined to include her in all of the Empire's politics and family affairs.
"Now that you are a Hun Queen you will abide by our rules," said Ernak. "You will confer with everyone including myself, Csaba, Anastasia, Navaz, Xena and Farah. Arielle is now the head overseer of the empire so all demands will go directly to her."
Eksama remembered the young princess and wasn't too keen on taking orders from someone much younger than her. Over the last ten days she had remained in her room and sensed she was being watched at all times given the guards posted outside her suite.
"We have a chain of command here," he added. "Anything that you want will need to be discussed with me, Csaba and Farah. Your request, if approved, will go to Anastasia then to Xena and finally Arielle. Do you understand?"
"Yes," she said with a dry mouth. "What of the White King? Does he not get a say?"
Ernak smiled. "Navaz has his own kingdom. He doesn't need to go through our chain of command but he will be informed of any changes in the empire."
Csaba slid a document across the rug towards his aunt and handed her a pen. Eksama peered down at the lengthy document and hesitated to take the pen from his hand. She lifted her eyes then grabbed the quill and read over the document silently.
"My grandmother deemed you worthy of holding the title of commander. All of your men now belong to us. That also includes all of Gepid territory. It's part of the Avar Hun Empire," he told her.
Her mouth parted and she was about to demand that wasn't feasible but she knew she was walking on very thin ice right now. She wasn't too sure if her family was going to accept her or behead her if she spoke against their laws and regulations at this point. She was grateful that her life had been spared.
"Since you killed the majority of our army you are required to pay us back for the lives lost," Csaba said with a malicious grin.
Eksama's brown eyes dilated. "How am I supposed to do that?"
"I'm sure you have a large treasury back in your kingdom, Eksama. You will also give us Prince Elemund's estate. As you know, he is our enemy and yours as well, so he shouldn't have anything to come back to."
"You want to take all my property away from me? Is that what I'm hearing?" she asked.
Csaba nodded. "Correct. You didn't expect to live here among us with no repercussions, did you?" he relished in the way she tried so desperately to hide her boiling anger. "Every step you take in this camp will be reported to Ernak and me. We are going to watch you very closely, Eksama."
She etched her signature at the bottom of the document and set down the pen, staring at the duo rulers.
Xena rushed through the hallways like she was on a mission and bumped into Eksama once she rounded a corner. She noticed the subtle disturbed eyes from the queen and put her arm against the wall, blocking the path.
"I don't trust you at all," she whispered. "I'm going to Balaam to see my daughter and give her the fennel oil. I only have your word that the oil will improve her sight."
Eksama nervously smiled. "What I said was true, khanum. If it makes you feel any better about my intentions, I did not tell my spy to poison your daughter. She did that on her own accord."
"It doesn't."
The queen nodded and tried to side step Xena and was grabbed firmly by the arm.
"I'd be very careful from now on if I were you, Eksama," she warned. "If you harm Farah or Nisa and I hear about it then nobody is going to stop me from killing you."
She gave one final look to the queen and continued down the hallway towards the foyer. Eksama put a hand over her throbbing chest and peered over her shoulder at the guards following right behind her. Every move she made was to be recorded. She couldn't hide anywhere in this large household and she supposed she had nothing to hide now.
Eksama strolled through the rest of the Adame and stopped by the women's quarters. The place was very lonely and quiet when she lived here by herself. Now that there was an abundance of children around her she didn't know how to approach them. She could only assume that they feared her but she could be wrong.
She stood by the doorway and listened in on the conversations the children had. She smiled at the sight of her daughter talking with Farah and Csaba's twin boys. They were completely enthralled by the story she told them with animated hand gestures and facial expressions. It'd been ten days since she shared the same space with everyone, including her daughter.
Of all people, she was too shy to speak to or even look at Austraia. She could stop an army of thousands if she wished but she could barely utter a sound when around her daughter now. Before in her kingdom she would have brief conversations with Austraia but after all she'd done, she didn't think she could mend their already broken relationship.
Focused on the storytelling she felt a tug on her leg and looked down at Ernak's youngest son, Utighur. Her body tensed immediately at her little nephew.
"My mom wants to have tea with you," he said and pointed to his mother and Farah sitting in the far corner.
Eksama lifted her eyes to the two women and then received a wave from Nisa. Before she could answer her hand was grabbed by the little prince. He escorted her across the room and all of the children turned to gawk at her like she was some kind of spectacle to behold.
Nisa smiled, welcoming the redheaded queen. She motioned for Eksama to have a seat on the floor with them. A few moments passed and the tall queen sat down on the pillow and crossed her legs. Nisa slid a saucer with a silver glass across the round table.
"It is best if you try to assimilate with everyone," said Nisa.
Eksama nodded and grabbed the tea glass. She couldn't help but notice the wicked glare she got from Farah. She expected nothing less. She had so much to learn and so many names to memorize but she didn't expect any of the children to run to her. She was their enemy less than a month ago after all.
She waited a month for this conversation to occur and when she was finally in a room alone with Gabrielle she fell speechless. She wished she could see the look on the governor's face but perhaps it was a blessing that she couldn't.
It wasn't a wise choice to leave them in a room alone together. Ana knew that much but she requested it. Given the lack of concern from her mother for Gabrielle's safety she gathered they weren't on very good terms either. It looked like Gabrielle walked on thin ice around everyone.
"How dare you?" Anastasia spoke sternly.
It was bad enough that Xena wasn't speaking to her but it was even worse to be reprimanded by her wife's daughter too. She didn't even get that reaction from Xena but somehow it was more hurtful coming from Anastasia.
"I've known you almost my entire life and I very rarely side against you, Gabrielle. I often take your side over my mother's because I trust your instincts and decisions. I always have but I can't fathom why you would give that woman the role of commander and let her be queen!"
Gabrielle flinched and swallowed the lump in her throat.
"She tried to murder me!" Ana raised her voice. "Look what she did to me! Look at me!" she pointed to her pale eyes.
Gabrielle lifted her head and quickly turned her gaze elsewhere. She never felt so small before and now she was subjected the khatun's wrath. Dare she say that Ana was far more menacing than Kreka ever was as ruling queen mother?
In attempt to quell the khatun's wrath she pulled the vial of fennel oil from her pocket. She held it tightly in her palm and finally met Ana's blue pastel eyes.
"Eksama…told me to give you this," she held the vial outward. "It's fennel oil. She said it will improve your sight."
Anastasia scoffed and folded her arms. "What is that? Is she trying to get in my good graces? Is this her idea of an apology?"
"It was your mother who wanted it." Gabrielle closed her fingers around the vial. "What Eksama did to you won't be forgotten. She's been stripped of everything and she's being watched like a hawk, Ana. She's not going to get away with what she's done to you –to everybody."
"Forgive me if I don't accept the gift so graciously," the khatun mocked.
The governor nodded and found her mouth dry. "I'm sorry, Anastasia. I never wanted to hurt you. That wasn't my intention at all. Your mother already gave me a mouthful and she's not speaking to me at the moment."
She stepped forward and grabbed Anastasia's hand and placed the oil in her palm. She closed Ana's fingers around it and their eyes met.
"Sometimes I still remember you as the little twelve year old girl that I met so long ago. You've always been able to overcome everything that's been thrown at you. Whenever you set your mind to do something you do it. You always put yourself last."
Anastasia's eyes softened as her memories rushed back.
"I never once thought that you would be standing here before me as Khatun," Gabrielle weakly grinned. "You're a great queen, Ana and if there's a piece of you that can be put back in its place then you should take that chance." She squeezed Ana's hand tightly. "You shouldn't put yourself last anymore."
While her wife was being berated and lectured by her daughter, Xena was cornered in the king's bedroom. She didn't like having conversations alone with Navaz or any king. It smelled like trouble and she had enough on her plate already and here he is; adding more to her pile of things to do.
She was offered a chair and for a moment she almost refused but sat down. She propped her legs on the table and stared impatiently at Navaz.
He rolled his shoulders back and prepared for either a horrible or laughable reaction. Ana was right. He was still afraid of her mother even though he never had any issues with her after over twenty years since they met.
"I wanted to ask you something, Xena and don't make a face," he said.
She raised an eyebrow. "Oh now I'm definitely going to make a face –whatever that means. What is it, Navaz?"
"I made a promise to Ellac." He laced his fingers on the table and looked at her polished boots near his face. "And I intend to keep my promise. I didn't think I was going to be able to when I was married to Safiya."
She leaned back in the chair, tapering her eyes. "I don't like where this is going but continue."
He took in a large breath to fill his constricted lungs. "I asked Anastasia to marry me. Again," he stressed, "she said yes but she told me to ask for your permission."
Xena took pause and then snorted. "You what?"
"I know it sounds ridiculous but I promised Ellac that I'd take care of her if anything happened to him. I think it's insane that I have to ask you for permission. I'm an adult but Anastasia insisted. I think she wants to make a fool out of me." He realized he was spewing word vomit which only made Xena's grin increase in size.
"You want to marry my daughter," she repeated. "Again."
Navaz rubbed his thumbs together nervously. "Yes."
"You want her to be your wife? Again."
He let out a short grunt. "Yes, Xena."
She pressed her tongue on the roof of her mouth and swung her legs off the table. She leaned forward with her fingers laced and eyed the White Hun King's nervous hand gestures. Amused by his boyish behavior she laughed under her breath and sat back in the chair.
"I know I may be old but if my memory serves me right, I do recall you and Ana argued a lot during your short marriage."
He nodded. "I know but that was a long time ago. She was also pregnant during most of our marriage and god knows she was not the nicest person," he joked and Xena frowned. He rubbed his throat and corrected quickly, "I didn't know her very well then."
"But you know her so well now, huh?" she winked.
Here we go, he thought. She was enjoying making him feel uncomfortable. This is why he didn't want to ask her in the first place. It was like he was a young king in his twenties again being intimidated by her. She was far too entertained by his discomfort.
"Xena I've been trying to get up the courage to ask you this for months now. Do I have your blessing or not?"
Her eyes fluttered and she gave a curt nod. "You're a big boy, Navaz. You don't need my permission to marry my daughter but I appreciate you asking." She patted his hand and got up from her seat.
"At least I won't have to deal with your mother this time," she added with a hint of bitterness. "What did Arielle and Soran have to say about this?"
"Oh…um," he rubbed the nape of his neck, "we didn't tell them anything yet. There's one more thing I need to discuss with you."
Xena groaned and sat back down in the chair.
"Shehzade Xerxes asked permission from me and Ana to court Arielle. We said it was permissible," he said with mild disdain.
She puckered her lips at the news. She wasn't the least bit surprised that the Persian prince was going to do that. She just wondered exactly when he was going to do it. Now she saw that Navaz was disturbed inwardly and that again brought her joy. Though, she chose to hide her crafty thoughts and keep her opinions to herself.
"Well I hope Xerxes will be able to put Arielle in her place. He has a calming nature about him that…subdues her unpredictable and spoiled behavior."
"You're –you're not upset?"
"I liked Xerxes from the beginning. He doesn't fall from the same tree as Peroz." She smiled. "Oh but I do feel for you and Ana. If those two do decide to marry in the future then you'll have to deal with Nousha. Best of luck to you, Navaz."
She gave him a hard slap on the shoulder from across the table. It was meant to be playful but Navaz didn't even consider Nousha in the equation. He knew that Ana and Nousha loathed each other and did their best to avoid conversation living in close quarters. This wasn't looking good for anyone.
"I don't think Xerxes told his mother about the courtship."
She laughed aloud. "I can't wait to see that little woman explode when she hears this. She's like a mountain of fireworks!"
"Since you're Arielle's grandmother maybe you should be the one to tell Nousha," he offered with a smug grin.
"Pass."
"Oh but I insist."
She huffed. "You sound like you're afraid of her, Navaz."
"Aren't you?"
Her shoulders drooped. "Just a little bit."
Later that evening Gabrielle returned to the suite that she shared with Xena. She avoided her most of the day and when they passed in the hallways they barely spoke a word to one another. Her visit with Anastasia went as she thought it would: horribly.
She didn't know how long they were going to stay in Balaam when Arielle was waiting for them in Scythia. Luckily the palace was only a few days ride from Armenia but she didn't know how much more of this silence she could take. The entire ride to Balaam was incredibly stressful because she couldn't get a word out of Xena no matter how hard she tried.
Now she was going to be stuck in the same room and share the same bed with her. Going to sleep with unresolved conflict was not high on her list of accomplishments. It probably would be better if she slept on the floor so she wouldn't have to wake up to her wife's backside every morning.
The tension in the air was so thick she could cut a knife through it. She went on about her nightly routine and took up writing for pleasure again. She hadn't written freely in so long she forgot how freeing it could be. It was a nice little distraction from her current situation.
Gabrielle threw her cloak on a chair and then slipped off her boots. She walked to the desk near the fireplace and took out her leather journal and organized her little space to begin writing.
Xena sat on the bed folding blouses and pants to be worn for the next few days. She heard the gentle pen taps on the desk and lifted her eyes, focusing on Gabrielle bent over the desk.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
Gabrielle paused at the somewhat jarring question. This would be the first time that Xena sparked conversation since they left Pannonia. She opened her journal and proceeded to go on about her business.
"I'm…going to write a little before bed."
"Hmm." Xena set the folded clothes on the chest in front of the bed. "You don't normally write this late."
A change of subject would be nice. "I gave the oil to Anastasia. I told her to apply two drops twice a day."
Xena climbed into the bed and pulled the thick silk goose feather blanket over her and shifted until she found a comfortable position. Her eyes were set on the candle by the bedside and the bright moonlight shining in through the open windows.
"Good." She leaned over the side of the bed and blew out the candle.
Once the sounds of rustling around in the sheets stopped Gabrielle peered over her shoulder. She saw Xena laying in bed in the darkness. Darkness; that was exactly how she felt right now. She was trapped in a sea of darkness with no light to lead her out of the tunnel.
She sat down and opened the journal then dipped the quill in the ink pad and inhaled heavily. Writing was so much easier than sleeping and she feared she wouldn't get any sleep tonight. Writing was a way to escape that she had forgotten about. She never realized how much she missed writing to clear her thoughts.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yes, I want to."
"Are you positive?"
"Navaz, just do it already!"
"As you wish your highness."
He settled on the edge of the bed and held the bottle of oil over her face. He tilted her chin upward and smiled softly. He clearly saw the fear in her eyes and he too shared the same fear but he put on his best face and convinced himself to pour the droplets of oil into her pupils.
He poured two small droplets into one of her eyes and saw her flinch. He grabbed her hand which she tightly squeezed. On to the other eye he distributed the drops.
"It burns!" she said with clenched teeth.
"I'm sorry." He gave her hand a gentle peck. "If I could take the pain away I would."
"Stop your gentleman act, Khushnavaz!" she hissed and gripped his hand firmly.
He chuckled. "Wow. You called me by my full name. You never do that." He winced as he donated his hand. "Your mother said I could marry you. That means you will be my wife and we will have a huge wedding, Pannonian style of course. You will have a dress made by your mother, a beaded kozak, burgundy preferably because I like that color on you."
Ana smiled, trying to ignore the stinging sensation in her eyes. "And what will you be wearing?"
"Perhaps I will wear a black robe with gold lined sleeves. Or perhaps I should match my bride."
She shook her hand. "But you look so good in black."
"How are your eyes now? Less burning?"
She nodded and loosened her grip on his hand. She sat up in bed slowly and blinked a couple of times. The remnants of the oil rolled down her cheeks and she used the backside of her hand to wipe it away. She kept adjusting her eyes by widening them and narrowing them several times over.
Navaz leaned in close and she pushed his face away. "Can you see?"
"It's not a magical elixir, Navaz!" she said with a light laugh. "Besides, I don't really trust Eksama. She could be lying only to get a rise out of me and make fun of me for pouring that infernal oil in my eyes."
"She could be or she could not be." He pushed her down onto the pillows and climbed atop of her. "So, when do you want to have the wedding? A month from now? Two?"
Ana's eyes fluttered. "Um, I…I really haven't thought about it. We are in the middle of war with the Persians you know."
"And?"
His lips traveled along her neck and collar bone. He then slipped the dress strap off her shoulder and kissed her arm. He took another step forward and pulled her dress off her torso and cupped her breast then slipped his other hand beneath her dress, caressing her flat abdomen.
Her body quivered at his gentle touch. For such a large man he had the softest hands and handled her with care. Nobody would know that he could slice an enemy in two by the tender caresses roaming across her body.
"We…just woke up," she felt his hand travel in between her legs and slipped his fingers into her. "Navaz!" she gasped sharply.
He felt the muscles tense inside her against his fingers. "Anastasia." He put a finger to her lips. "Just let it happen," he whispered. "Relax."
In the back of the Adame where the seamstress room was located Gabrielle made frequent visits since her arrival a few days prior. Sleep was not her friend lately and now that Xena continued to ignore her she never wanted the sun to disappear. Days passed, weeks passed and now a month had gone by without having a proper conversation with her wife.
She did what she could. She apologized relentlessly to her but after the fight with Eksama she felt her wife drifting further away from her. Marriage was never easy and even though a paper represented their marriage officially she had been unofficially married to her for decades.
An apology wasn't going to make anything better and she was starting to feel annoyed by her own apologies at this point. She had a plan to hopefully stir Xena's feelings and if this didn't work then she didn't know what else to do. Time was going to be her best friend when it came to mending the hurt in this hurdle.
Gabrielle walked over to the head seamstress and smiled. She watched the elderly woman tediously sewing the beads onto the fabric one by one.
The seamstress looked up from her work and bowed. "Governor, good day to you."
"And to you too, Nigar. How is it coming along? Do you think it will be finished by tonight?"
Nigar sighed and set down the long needle. "I don't normally take requests on such short notice but I think I will be able to get it done tonight before dinner."
"Perfect," Gabrielle eyed the woman's fine craftsmanship.
"The khanum is going to love this," said the seamstress.
"I hope so. Thank you, I will come by before dinner to pick it up."
Gabrielle made her way towards the exit with her stomach in knots. This had to work because she had nothing else left to offer.
"Governor, would you like to commission something for yourself?" asked Nigar.
She halted with her hand on the door handle. "No, I'm alright, thank you though."
She left and strolled down the hallway and encountered Pamira leaving Prince Soran's room with a sheet wrapped around her body. She stopped in the middle of the hall and Pamira had a big smile on her young face and then turned to head in Gabrielle's direction and paused with wide brown eyes.
"Governor," the Persian greeted with flushed cheeks and unkempt hair. "Good morning."
Gabrielle tried to hide her curiosity but she let a grin slip. "I see it's been a very good morning for you, Pamira."
The doors to the prince's room opened and Soran emerged with a sheet wrapped around his taut waist. "Pamira, you forgot your clothes," he said and was stricken with utter embarrassment when he laid eyes on Gabrielle.
"Wow, Soran," the governor admired his trim physique and muscular arms. "You are looking more and more like your father," she complimented. "Enjoy your morning. Excuse me," she slipped in between the couple and sauntered away with a bit of skip in her step.
Annual dinners were always a great opportunity to catch up with family and exchange events in their personal lives. It was the only time when war wasn't discussed and it was considered a safe space for everyone.
Gathered in a circle on the floor they ate food for more than an hour, talking to one another. All were present except for Gabrielle. That left Xena sitting beside an empty pillow and she ate silently while she listened to the conversations around her.
Navaz peered over at Anastasia and then looked to the lonely khanum. He didn't ever like to pry into her personal life but given that he knew the situation of Eksama's new reign as queen, he knew there was more than a little friction between Xena and Gabrielle. He didn't think he'd ever seen them separated before in his life.
"Xena," he called all attention to her. "Where's Gabrielle?"
She glanced at the eyes fixated on her and spooned rice into her mouth. "I don't know," she replied with a flat tone. "Anastasia, did you apply the oil today?" she diverted the topic.
Anastasia nodded and swirled the spoon on the plate to mix the rice with dried fruit. "I don't know if the oil is going to help at this point. It's been a long time since the…fire."
Xena picked at her food. "We'll wait and see what happens. It doesn't hurt to try."
"Mom, can you honestly tell me that you trust Eksama? What if she gave me that oil to completely blind me?"
"I don't trust her," she spat. "I made it very clear that if she tries to harm anyone in the family again that she'll be six feet under. I think she understood the severity of my threat." She set down the spoon in her unfinished plate. "Nobody is ever going to fully trust her but she will have to work very hard to blend with the family. She desperately wants a family."
Ana cocked her head to the side. "Really? Is that why she tried to kill me?" she snidely retorted.
"Deep down, she wants a family. It was made clear that she wasn't loved as a child or as a wife to her Gepid King husband. She doesn't know what love is, Ana."
"Is that supposed to make me feel bad for her? Because that's not going to happen."
Xena clenched her jaw. "She was raped, Anastasia," she blurted out and there was a long moment of awkward silence. "Her daughter is a product of that just like Ebnedzar is."
Ana lowered her eyes and sadness crossed her face. A hand came to rest on her stomach and felt a burning deep within her core.
"That doesn't excuse what she did to you but I certainly understand why she's hostile to everyone. She doesn't trust anyone. She feels herself nonredeemable." Xena threw down the napkin on her plate and stood up. "I'm going to my room."
Worried was understatement. She tried not to worry about Gabrielle but it was hard not to. Avoidance had become her dearest ally as of late but she didn't expect Gabrielle to not show her face for dinner this evening. She tried to put aside her feelings which normally came naturally to her, but this was different.
She entered her bedroom and somehow, she wanted to see Gabrielle writing at the desk again but all of her belongings remained as they were from the night before. She traced her fingers along the leather journal and then pulled away as if the journal was emitting a fire within itself and entering her body through the simple touch.
She shook her head and walked towards the back of the room to grab fresh towels for a bath. A dark object on the bed caught her eye and she frowned. Setting the towels down on the foot of the bed she saw a black and gold headdress set on the bed.
The headdress was adorned with gold beads and the long veil sprawled across the bedspread. Ever since they were kidnapped and taken to Constantinople her kozak was left behind in the woods of Italia never to be seen again. She'd been without a signature kozak for a little over a month now.
She gingerly picked up the elaborate headdress and grazed her fingers along the beads. A smile crossed her lips and then she saw a scroll that was hidden underneath the veil. She placed the kozak on her lap and picked up the scroll.
Inhaling a large breath she unraveled the ribbon and opened the scroll. Her eyes scanned over the lengthy letter and found it wasn't a letter at all. It was a poem. Her lips curled into a smile as she read the prosaic and rhythmic words on the parchment.
Perfect handwriting, as always, she mused.
A wave of relief crossed her mind as she finished reading the poem. She laid the scroll back onto the sheets and then picked up the kozak and waltzed over to the mirror.
She pushed her bangs back and carefully placed the kozak on her head and smoothed the veil over her hair and brushed it behind her shoulders. The longer she stared at her reflection the more the guilt washed over her.
Gabrielle sat on a bench near the poppy fields with the darkness that never seemed to leave her. She picked at a poppy flower and tore the leaves off one by one to quell her restlessness. As she sat she lost all sense of time. She probably sat there for an hour or two, she didn't know.
Footsteps approached from behind and her body constricted on itself. She kept her eyes forward and then saw a dark figure sit beside her out of the corner of her eye. She licked her dry lips and could hear her heart rapidly ringing her ears.
Xena looked out at the ominous poppy field and tapped the scroll against her palm.
"I read your poem."
Gabrielle remained quiet and continued to tear the leaves off the flower until there was only one left. She looked down at the bare flower in her hand and closed her palm around it.
"I forgot how you have a way with words."
"It…was the only way I knew how to…talk to you," said Gabrielle in a defeated voice.
Xena smiled faintly. "Thank you for the new kozak."
The blonde shrugged a shoulder. "You needed a new one."
"Gabrielle. Look at me," she said softly.
Finally, she turned her head with teary eyes at her moonlit wife's face. A hand cupped her cheek and the flower fell from her hands. Tears were wiped away with a stroke of a thumb and her bottom lip trembled.
"I'm not going anywhere you know," Xena said with certainty. "I don't hate you. I don't think I ever could. We've both been hurt. Believe me; I was hurting just as much as you."
"You…treated me like a stranger, Xena. You looked at me like I was an enemy. All that was needed," she stuttered, "was the sword to plunge through me."
Xena crinkled her eyebrows and her hand drifted down to grab her spouse's hand. "I was angry."
"I know and that –that's why I tried to fix what I did by –by stripping Eksama of everything I gave her."
"Perhaps I shouldn't have shut you out like I did," Xena said her thoughts aloud. "But you must understand where I was coming from."
Gabrielle nodded and grasped her hands. "I do! I do understand. I hurt you and I hurt Anastasia indirectly. You know that I'd never," she whimpered, "do that intentionally. I love you and Anastasia is like my own daughter." She took a moment to gather her short spurts of breath. "I wish I could go back and redo everything."
"Or we could just turn the page," the khanum offered with a warm smile.
A glimmer of hope glittered in the jade eyes of Gabrielle. She hiccupped her way through a smile and received a kiss to her forehead.
"But there is one more thing I'd like to address."
Gabrielle felt her stomach twist in on itself and she embraced what was to come. She only assumed there was to be another lecture or backlash. She was so close to forgiveness that she could taste it until it turned sour in her mouth.
"Did you really have to make me so angry in order to drive that poetic side out of you?" Xena said with a light tease.
Relief. Gabrielle sniffled and wiped her nose. "I'll write poems for you every day if you want."
"Now that's a bit ambitious, don't you think?" She cupped her spouse's cheeks and kissed her on the lips tenderly. "Are you going to stay up late at night writing mysterious poems? The bed is lonely without you." she pressed their foreheads together.
Gabrielle's cheeks radiated. "Are…you sure?"
"Are you refusing me?" she insinuated an insult directed towards her.
"No, no!" Gabrielle smiled from ear to ear. "I just wanted to make sure you're absolutely sure."
"I'm sure."
They both stood, hand in hand. Gabrielle then looked upward to distract her meandering thoughts. "Are you still mad at me?"
With her patience wearing thin she let out a sigh and rolled her eyes. "If you keep asking questions I will be."
He lay on his stomach watching her chest rise and fall as she slept soundly. He gently pulled the sheet off her nude body and exposed her breasts. The whiff of the cold air caused her to stir and she shifted in bed then slapped an arm on the pillow above her head.
Mischievously his fingers slid along the sheet. He walked his fingers on her bare tattooed skin and her muscles tensed. She finally awoke and looked down at the prince's devious brown eyes. She rubbed her eyes groggily and sat up. The sheet fell off her torso and his eyes immediately went to her breasts.
"Like what you see?" she ran her fingers through his hair.
Xerxes raised an eyebrow. "If I get to wake up to this every morning then I'll be a very happy man."
She lightly clouted his forehead with her palm and crawled out of bed. Lazily she ruffled her wild hair and let out an audible yawn. Xerxes turned over on his side and admired her toned lean thighs and the curves that landed in all the right places.
Arielle spun around and placed her hands on her hips. "I think I'm in the mood to spar. I will go ask Cera if she wants another rematch. She got me good. Never have I ever been defeated by my little sister in a spar."
"I'd spar with you," he raised his eyebrows and grabbed her arm to pull her close.
"I think we did enough of that last night. Next time you can be in charge, how's that?" she tried to get a rise out of him but it was nearly impossible to irritate the man. He was completely untouchable when it came to her comments and attitude.
She stepped away and reached for a silk robe. Standing in front of the mirror she combed her hair and tugged at the knots and made grunting and hissing noises that only made the Persian snicker.
"You're lucky my brother doesn't know about this courtship."
He groaned and rolled onto his back. "I already know Soran doesn't like me."
"I was talking about my older brother, Csaba," she said casually. "He beat the tar out of Bayan when I came back home nearly six years ago."
Points for him, Xerxes thought. He didn't think he was going to have an issue with Csaba especially since Arielle's father gave him the go ahead to court his daughter. He also needed permission from her brother too? He figured he and Csaba were close in age and they were almost the same size physically. He should have no problem defending himself if it came to that.
"Is he going to take a swing at me too?" he asked.
Arielle shrugged a shoulder. "He's very protective of me."
"I would be too if I had a little sister especially one that looks like you."
She saw the smirk on his face through the mirror's reflection and shook her head. "Just prepare yourself. He doesn't like any man looking at me. He's worse than my father, I swear."
"I shall be ready then," he said confidently.
She tightened the sash about her waist and walked to the doors. "I'm going to see my sister. You should probably get dressed. I think Kuba is too afraid to come into my bedroom after what happened yesterday."
Cera circled around herself for the last hour, thinking of what she was to say and what to do. She found out the news from the physician early this morning while Mirac was out of the room. She planned this consultation cleverly and made sure Mirac wasn't going to be near her.
He was in charge of teaching Aurora calligraphy and that gave her some time to herself but he was due to come back soon. Thankfully, Aurora was a talker and she probably went off on tangents during her lesson which kept him distracted and kept him longer than needed.
This gave her enough time to think of what to say. She stopped pacing at the sound of the knob turning. She smoothed her black gown out and fixed her hair. She was as ready as she could ever be. Her eyes focused on the door slowly opening and dug her nails into her palms to quell her anxiousness.
When the door opened she had a big smile on her lips until she saw her sister. Oh, it's just Arielle. She inwardly groaned and wiped the smile off her face.
"Cera! Baby sister!" Arielle hurried inside. "I was thinking we could spar outside today. My schedule is clear for today. I want to get you back for what you did to me last month."
The princess sighed and wagged her head.
"No?" Arielle pouted. "Aweh, come on Cera! I'm in a good mood and that rarely happens around here," she joked. "It'll be fun! Then we can pig-out on manakeesh and I'll even tell the chef to get those pickled figs you like so much. Those are so disgusting. I don't know how you like that revolting stuff. Anyway, what do you say? Please?"
Cera was glad that her sister was in a great mood since Xerxes came here but she unfortunately had to decline on all the fun events that Arielle had in store for them today.
"I can't spar with you," she signed.
"Oh, I get it. You're scared that I'm going to beat you," Arielle wagged her finger. "I gotta admit you got me pretty good last time, Cera. I'm willing to take another beating from you."
Cera huffed. "I can't. It's not safe for me to spar."
Arielle frowned. "What does that mean? I'm not going to drive you into the ground. I'll be careful." She lightly punched her sister's arm.
The redhead groaned and slapped a palm to her forehead. Do I really have to spell it out for her?
"What? Did I say something wrong?"
Cera slapped her sister's arm and told her, "I'm pregnant!" she clapped her palms together to stress her frustration.
Arielle widened her eyes and then her entire face lit up. "Really?!" she took her sister's hands. "This is magnificent news! See, I told you that you'd be blessed with another baby! Wow, this is great! Oh, sorry I hit you." She rubbed her sister's arm apologetically.
Cera rolled her eyes.
"You can stay here with me! I'll be with you every step of the way this time! You won't be able to get rid of me. I'll be more annoying than mother. Oh, mother," she pulled her hands away and tapped her cheek. "We need to write her right away. She's going to be so happy to hear this, Cera. This news will surely cheer her up especially after the whole Eksama ordeal."
She clapped her palms together and looked at her sister's distress. "We need to write Csaba and Farah too. We'll have the senlik here in my palace and we'll invite Mirac's family. I know Yana will be thrilled too! She adores you. Did you tell Mirac yet?"
Cera was a bit taken aback by her sister's abrasive questions and there were so many thrown at her that she didn't know how to respond except to stare in silence. She definitely didn't have the same excitement as her sister and instead was riddled with fear.
Her face distorted and she sobbed unexpectedly which caused all smiles to disappear from Arielle's face.
"Oh…don't do that, Cera." She wrapped an arm around Cera and led her to the bed. "Don't cry. I don't like to see you upset. I know it's only been four months since it…happened but don't let that torment you. You're going to have a baby and you should be over the moon!"
Cera buried her face in her hands and whimpered uncontrollably.
"It'll be different this time. I'll take excellent care of you. I have some of the best physicians here. They'll check on you every day."
The princess lifted her head out of her hands and sniveled. Arielle smiled warmly and wiped away the tears.
"Don't stress yourself. It's not good for your baby. Take it from me," she put a hand over her chest. "I was super depressed when I was pregnant. Nothing good came of it. We'll be here for you."
Cera nodded and finally cracked a smile.
Kuba stood in the doorway and cleared his throat loudly to interrupt their conversation. Cera hid her puffy eyes and Arielle grunted, annoyed by his presence.
"A letter from your parents, khagana."
"Oh great." Arielle hopped up from the bed and snatched the letter from his hand. She read and grinned. "Grandma and Gabrielle are in Balaam."
Cera whipped her head around and her pale face illuminated with joy.
Arielle gasped loudly. "My parents are to be married?!" she blurted out. "That is…mildly disgusting." She shuddered. "Great! Now they're going to team up against me. I swear they do these sorts of things just to fuck with me."
"That is superb news, khagana. Are you not happy for your parents?" asked Kuba.
"I mean…I suppose." She flung the letter at her blonde advisor. "I guess I can't call them hypocrites for having sex anymore."
Kuba's cheeks turned bright red at her comment.
"Let the people of Scythia know that the Empress' little sister and Hun Princess, is going to have a baby," Arielle ordered. "We will all celebrate!"
"Yes, khagana," he bowed and sent a smile to the princess.
Cera crashed onto the bed and released a heavy sigh. She felt the bed jostle and looked over at her elder sister's glowing face and gigantic eyes right beside her.
"You're going to announce my pregnancy to the entire empire?"
"Of course!" she cheered. "Oh wait, you should probably tell Mirac first. Kuba!" she soared off the bed and ran to catch him halfway down the hall.
"Lean your head back some more."
Ana whined much like a child. "But it stings."
Xena creased her eyebrows. "Do it."
She persisted to obey her mother and reared her head on the pillow and waited for the inevitable. A week of this torture was beginning to irritate her. She didn't know if she could keep doing this every day, twice a day, for the next couple of months.
Once the oil was dispersed in both eyes she squeezed her mother's hand and wheezed. Her fingers kept clutching the sheets as the pain increased and she was too afraid to open her eyes but she quickly figured out that only made the pain worsen.
Xena chuckled at her daughter's extreme labored breaths. "Anastasia, you sound like you're giving birth."
"Well, it burns!"
She dabbed the oil rolling down her daughter's cheeks with a damp cloth. "I know you haven't been taking this for a long time but have you noticed a change?"
Ana waved her shaky hand in the air. "A little."
"Really? How much of a change? Are you able to see faces better? Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up?"
"Mom," she laughed. "Don't start with the questions. It's too early for that."
"I'm sorry. I just want to see if the oil works."
Ana nodded and opened her eyes, hissing at the lingering sting. "Thank god that's over. You're in a good mood. Did you…patch things up with Gabrielle?"
"Something like that," Xena sneakily smiled. "So, what color fabric do you want for your wedding dress? Navaz was very insistent on burgundy but it's your choice."
"You're actually willing to sew my dress? I know that annoys you."
"I don't ever get to pamper you since you don't need me anymore."
Anastasia sat up and wiped her eyes. "Mother, I'll always need you!" she took her hand. "Regarding the dress, just do whatever Navaz says. If I look that good in burgundy then who am I to argue?"
"Wow, you two actually agreeing on something," Xena chided. "What a wonder."
Gabrielle barged into the room like a rabid racehorse and jumped onto the bed. Jarring both of the women she waved a letter in the air. Xena frowned and looked to her overly excited wife. At least it wasn't bad news given Gabrielle's giddiness.
"Arielle sent a letter!"
"Well what does it say?" asked Xena.
"She said Cera is pregnant!"
Anastasia grinned and gripped onto her mother's arms. "My little girl is pregnant. A baby!" she cheered. "I hope Cera is doing alright. I should go see her to see how she's doing. She might be upset. You know she is very sensitive. I should go see her, right? Right?"
Xena gently rubbed her daughter's arm. "I'm sure she'd love a visit from you but maybe you shouldn't bring up the past."
"Okay," Ana nodded, "okay. I'll be very calm. Calm and collected." She said more to convince herself than anyone else in the room. "Will you two come with me?"
Gabrielle looked to her wife and shrugged her shoulder with a shy grin.