Ladybug chocolates and out-of-season flowers were currently laying in his hands while he rang the bell of Ianto's apartment. It was Christmas morning and he wanted to surprise Ianto. Due to no one being able to monitor the rift, they'd, unfortunately, spent the night apart. But he couldn't blame Ianto, ever since he made a run for it and went on a horrible journey with the doctor towards the end of time their relationship had been rather wobbly. Trust was something you earned. So he'd been patient. But that was also why he was carrying flowers that should only be available around Valentine's Day - he'd especially ordered them from Holland - and ladybug chocolates which he hoped Ianto would like. He was also carrying a bag with Christmas gifts - only the ones for Ianto and from him, the ones for and from Gwen were still lying under the Christmas tree at the hub, Gwen and Ianto had gone a little overboard with the Christmas decorations if he was honest. It took a while before Ianto actually came to the door, he'd heard some laughter so he'd thought that maybe some family members had come to visit. He'd actually been ready to go away and grant him some privacy on this special day of the year when Ianto opened the door. His broad smile was soon replaced with a perplexed one. Ianto was wearing a Christmas sweater - not one of those ugly ones, but one that actually looked like his mother had knit it.
"What are you doing here Sir?" Ianto asked quickly. He took one step back and quickly closed the door towards the living room, giving them a little bit more privacy. But he could see Ianto's mind wasn't really into it. His eyes kept fleeting back towards the connecting door.
"I thought we agreed to drop the Sir?" He answered rather sadly, he'd hoped that they'd been past this phase already.
"Yes, sorry, this isn't really a great time to come by. But you didn't answer my question yet, what are you doing here Jack?" He stood still, not really knowing how to answer, he thought it had been obvious.
" I thought that maybe we could spend Christmas together. You know, open presents, eat something at that restaurant you've been talking about. You know, boyfriend things." Awkwardly he divided his balance from one foot to another and waited for Ianto to answer him.
"Oh."
"Just oh?"
" I'm sorry, as I said it's not really a good time, maybe we could do that in a few days?" Disappointed he let his gaze fall towards the ground and he was attentively inspecting his shoes while he waited for Ianto to tell him to go away or close the door in his face, but neither happened as the door to the living room opened and an enthusiastic boy practically jumped towards them in joy.
"Tad! Tad! Look what I got!" He said and went towards Ianto's side. The kid was holding up a Spiderman action figure while wearing blue PJ's with Spiderman all over it. It was safe to say, the kid loves Spiderman.
"That's lovely Daffyd, why don't you go play with it in your room while Tad's going to finish up his business here?" He asked the boy who seemed far more interested in the stranger than - as it seemed - his own father. He'd never imagined Ianto to be a father, never even knew the kid existed. Tosh had done some amazing digging through his history, so why hadn't she found out this part of his life?
Patiently Ianto let him inside and closed the door behind him. The young kid didn't seem to want to go away, even though Ianto had told him multiple times to do so.
"These are for you." Awkwardly he smiled at Ianto who took the flowers and chocolates he should've given him last February.
"Thanks, do you want something to drink, Jack?" Ianto said and took the flowers to the kitchen to put in a vase.
"I would never say no to your coffee magic," quickly inspecting his surroundings he soon changed his mind when he saw the filled cups with chocolate milk and whipped cream " I'm sorry, scratch that, I'd like some of that hot chocolate of yours," Ianto mumbled something that sounded like okay and went to work.
Daffyd tapped on his leg and curiously looked at him. He kneeled down in front of him so they were the same height and waited for Daffyd to say whatever was on his mind.
"Are you Tad's present?" The boy asked, looking at him with those puppy dog eyes.
"What are you talking about?" He exclaimed.
"Are you Tad's Christmas present? I asked Santa a present for Tad, but he said he didn't get it." Sadly, the boy looked at him. His Spiderman toy still clutched in his hands when Ianto came back into the room with a vase of flowers.
"I'll be right back, the hot chocolate is warming up," Ianto told them both and with a glare to him disappeared into the tiny kitchen again.
"And what did you ask for Tad?" He asked, this time directing his attention towards Ianto's offspring.
"I asked Santa if he could find someone for Tad so he won't be alone anymore. Ever since Lisa died he's been so sad. So if Santa could find a new girlfriend or maybe even boyfriend for Tad, maybe he won't be so sad anymore." The young boy - far wiser than his age - told him. His breath stopped coming for a second as he heard Ianto's kid's Christmas wish. Of course, Ianto hadn't been able to get him that wish.
"No, I'm not. But maybe I can help you with that wish soon." He told the boy. Being dismissed Daffyd went back to playing with his Spiderman figure as soon as his dad walked back into the room with his hot chocolate. Some fake spiderwebs were shot his way at least once and every time he played along, knowing that it meant a lot to Ianto.
"Thank you. If I'm in the way, just say so and I'll go back to the hub." He told Ianto when he accepted the hot chocolate. It smelled heavenly, just like his coffee.
"Phew, phew, phew." Daffyd could be heard exclaiming in the background. One quick peek told them that one of his other action figures was trying to shoot at a transformer in disguise.
"Nice kid, very cute!" He exclaimed when they were watching what he was doing. He doubted Daffyd cared what they were talking about while he played.
"Yeah, he's been the only thing that's kept me happy throughout the years," Ianto said and smiled at his son. He could clearly see how proud he was of his own son. Every parent had such a smile.
''So… Tad, huh?'' He asked him with his cheeky smile.
''Yeah, my sister is been teaching him welsh words when he's staying there.'' Ianto wasn't even looking at him, all his attention went to the playing boy.
''Why do you never talk about your family?''
''I do, plenty.''
''No, you never do that.''
''Maybe that's just because I don't like to,'' Ianto answered quite agitated. There was more to the story than he was telling them. He could feel it.
"You probably want to know how I managed to keep him out of Torchwood's grasp?" Ianto turned towards him as a sad hue took over his body. He just wanted to take him into his arms and snog that expression off of his face.
"I think we all quite want to know that, especially me. And maybe Tosh too." He told Ianto. He felt a little offended that Ianto had never dared to tell any of them about his blood relation. What if he'd died unexpectedly, like many agents at Torchwood did? Ianto let out a sigh and took his mug in his hand. He took a sip of the heavenly concoction and set it down again.
"About 12 years ago I had a girlfriend. Her name was Loila. Around the end of our last semester when we finished our GCSE we celebrated our freedom and got quite drunk. I remember only vaguely that we had sex that night. She went on holiday to Spain that summer while I stayed behind looking for a summer job when she and her parents came home early. When I came home that afternoon, they were waiting for me…. Loila was pregnant."
While he told Jack about his past, his thoughts went back to the time when his whole life changed.
"I'm home!" He yelled through the house while he took off his shoes. He'd had no such luck in trying to find a summer job. Apparently, he should've started looking for one in March to be able to get one. Like he was busy with that during the time his focus lay on his school exams.
"Ianto?" His mother's prill voice asked just when he was about to go upstairs towards his room.
"What's wrong mum?" He asked when she appeared in the hallway. Her mascara had run out and he could clearly see the tear tracks that had been left behind. On top of that, he could see her red-rimmed and worried eyes glancing towards him.
"Maybe it's better if you come with me." She exclaimed. So he walked down the stairs and followed his mother into the living room. He was shocked to find Loila and her parents sitting there with his dad.
"What's going on Loila?" He directed his vision to her as he didn't get any response from anyone else in the room. His dad though seemed to be very angry about something he didn't know.
He kneeled down in front of his girlfriend and took her hands in his. She was looking down into her lap, never looking up. But the answer didn't come from her.
" She's pregnant, you moron!" His father screamed in a rage from behind him. Her ashen looking face looked up and her haunted eyes stared into his.
"A-... I-..." He tried to say, but words failed him. His face probably became even paler than his Welsh skin already was.
"It's true. I'm 8 weeks pregnant." She whispered to him while he tried to find the right words to say. If he was honest, he would've been so glad about her pregnancy if they were ten years older. But they were only 16 and about to go their separate ways. In his mind, he already let his dream of ever going to college burn to dust. He would have to be the grownup now and care for his child. There was nothing else he could do about it.
" I'll take care of you. Of you both." He said far wiser than his age. He stood up and turned around. He would do his utmost best to give this child the best life he could possibly give him with the possibilities he had at his young age. It was going to be difficult, but not impossible.
"You'll do no such thing!" His angered father screamed through the room. Shocked, he turned around and faced his dad.
"You're not going to waste your life because of one mistake. You're both far too young for this!" His dad stood up from the kitchen chair he'd dragged into the living room and threateningly walked towards him. He was sure that if Loila's parents weren't in the room he would've had a firm bashing already. Not like he wasn't used to that throughout his long life on this earth. But most of the time his mum would try to calm his dad down or make him stop. This time though she just sat crying on her chair, not even watching what was happening in front of her.
"Yes, I am. I'm old enough to see that I have to take my responsibilities in life." He stood right in front of his dad and not for a moment was he afraid of the things his dad could do any second.
"Then you can go throw away your life somewhere else. I don't want to see you ever again." His dad's rage only got worse after he said that. His eyes went towards his mum, she was sobbing uncontrollably and pleading his dad not to do this.
"Fine!" He went upstairs as soon as the words had left his mouth to pack his stuff. Bag after bag made its way out of his closet to pack clothes and remembrances. His bond collection made its way inside and even the plushie he'd been given by his mum on his 7th birthday. The dolphin plushie had been his comfort when things got too much, there was no way he would leave it behind.
"Don't do this Ianto, please just stay." His mother begged him when she walked inside his room. She was even more of a mess compared to when he just walked into the house.
"It's going to be alright mum, I'll be alright. I'll ask Loila's parents if I can stay with them otherwise I'll ask Rhi If I can crash with her until I find something." He walked towards her and hugged her petite body firmly. He was going to miss her terribly, he loved his mum so dearly.
"Promise me one thing mum, take care of yourself. Don't let dad bully you into something. Make your own decisions." He could feel her nod and a few wet drops seep into his shirt. She was obviously crying.
"I'll be alright. I'll call you soon." And with that, he left with Loila and her parents. Leaving his childhood home behind for the rest of his life.
"My dad…. To say he was angry was, to say the least, but he was so angry that he cast me out. Out of the house, out of his life. He didn't want to see me ever again. While my mum, she was crying the whole time. She begged me to stay, but I couldn't. I packed my bag and went with Loila and her parents towards their house. I worked as much as I could to save money. I didn't go to college, so I would be able to take care of my son. But then, when Daffyd was born, everything changed again." He went on and told Jack, who didn't give a kick while he told his story. Daffyd was too immersed in the Spiderman reruns on the telly to actually listen to what they were talking about.
"You can do it, Loila. Come on, one more push." He said from her side. She pinched his hand while he could only stand there and watch her do the job. If only he could take away some of her pain.
"That's it. There you go." One of the nurses said. He could see his bloody baby boy being born right in front of his eyes. And it was… fantastic.
"Hey… don't cry." He said when he saw Loila starting to cry from beside him. He pinched her hand once and wiped away the sweat and tears from her head while they waited for the nurse to be done. One thing was sure though, that little boy had some fine lungs.
"Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?" The woman held out the scissors to him and with shaking hands, he took a few steps closer to her. He accepted the scissors and with the instructions from the nurse he cut through the cord that connected their baby with his girlfriend. A little smile formed on his face when he gave back the scissors, he couldn't wait to hold his baby boy. The baby was wrapped in a towel and cleaned a little only to be lain upon Loila's chest. A tired smile splayed across her face.
Bewitched he let his hand move towards the tiny screaming blue bundle. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a nurse doing something with the umbilical cord at Loila's vagina and pulling something else out.
''Hello, Daffyd.'' He whispered, completely enchanted by the sight in front of him. This was his son, he created this. He and Loila.
''Alright, I'm going to take this champ with me for a check-up. We'll be right back.'' The kind nurse said and took Daffyd from Loila's chest and out of the room. He had no idea where the other nurse went, but suddenly they were left alone in the room.
''I can't do this Ianto. I just can't.'' She suddenly started to murmur. She didn't dare look him in the eye while she talked. Confused he walked back to her side.
''What are you talking about?'' She started to twitch with her thumbs and he could see how tired she was.
''I can't be his mum. I've been thinking about this, I want to give him up for adoption.'' Her words hurt more than if all his bones would be broken at the same time.
''No way! I want to be his dad, I want to see him grow up and take care of him.''
''Then you go do that. But I can't. I just can't.'' She was crying more and more, but there was no anger behind her words.
''Okay. I'll be out of your life tomorrow. I'll pack my bags and take the baby stuff to my sister. If there's anything you need of me, you can find me there.''
''Loila made up her mind, she didn't want to be a mother. She wanted to go back to school. I decided to honour her decision. I called my sister as soon as we figured out what was going to happen. She had a little boy at the time. She said I could stay with her for a while. So I took my things and went to live with her for a few months. I waited until my 18th birthday had passed and with all the money I managed to save up, I moved to London. I never heard of Loila again after that day. That's where I met Lisa though, I was a barista in London at the time, she helped me get a job at Torchwood. Said she would be able to get Daffyd out of my file because she knew someone at that division who owed her. It was pretty easy to combine the two worlds as my job at Torchwood London was pretty much a 9 to 5 job. So I could combine the office hours with daycare for Daffyd.'' Shocked, Jack looked at Ianto while he told him the shortened version of what had happened. He'd never thought that the day would come that Ianto explained some deep, dark secret to him that he didn't know at least a little about. And on Christmas no matter.
"But, why go to London?"
" I wanted a fresh start for us. My sister had already offered to take Daffyd in as her own, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't watch my son grow up and pretend to be his uncle. So I fled and started a new life." He took the last sip from his coco while he thought about Ianto's reasoning.
" Then why did you come back?"
" Do you really need to ask that Jack? London is full of bad memories. I did what I did best, I fled. And I thought that maybe I could get myself into your Torchwood. But you know that story already."
"Where…" it was as If Ianto already knew what he was going to ask, because before he could find the right words Ianto had already answered his question.
"My sister is looking after him when we have an allnighter," He nodded and looked at the boy. So innocent and pure.
"I still don't really know how to handle kids, but I'm trying my best and finding out on the way." Ianto continued on, and all he could think about was a very young Ianto standing in London with his freshly packed bags and a sleeping baby in his arms.
-0O0-
Dejectedly Jack had gone back to the hub that afternoon. He'd used the excuse of having to process all that he'd heard that morning, but most of all he just needed to be alone for a while. It felt like everything he knew about Ianto had been a lie. Like he didn't know him at all. The lies just kept coming. Alone he sat down at his desk, from somewhere in the hub he could hear Myfanwy screech. She was the only company he would get for the day. The rift had been predicted to behave, so naturally, he was the only one present. The others where God knows where celebrating Christmas in peace. Just when he thought about going out and fixing himself something to eat, the cogwheel opened and the alarm blasted through the air. Most of all he just wanted it to be Ianto, but he knew that the chance was slim.
Standing in the door opening of his office he watched Gwen walk into the hub, her eyes were red and she seemed rather sad.
''What are you doing here?'' Shocked, she looked up at him. She clearly hadn't been expecting someone else in the hub; otherwise, she wouldn't have been surprised at seeing him.
''I'm… sorry… I just needed somewhere to go.'' She was dressed up nicely. So she clearly hadn't been expecting to go here. All alone.
''What's happened?'' He asked her while he stepped out of his office and walked towards her.
''Rhys and I got into a fight. A big one.'' She sat down behind her desk, so he drew out a chair from one of the others to sit on while he talked to her.
''Tell me about it.'' He just needed to do something else. Needed to distract his mind from going into overload and blame Ianto for things he hadn't done, just because he needed a scapegoat to blame all his problems on.
"Our parents are coming to us for Christmas and I wanted everything to be perfect. I know what they're like, they don't approve of what I've done with my life. But Rhys just told me to let it go. Can you imagine? To just let my fears go and show them what we're like when they're not around. They would murder me for sure." She explained to him what had happened at home. All in all, it didn't sound like such a big deal if he was honest, but then again, he hadn't met their parents yet.
"And why not? Why should your parents expect to find a perfectly cleaned house or something like that? We're all just human beings, except when you're an alien of course, but still, neither one of us is perfect. And they shouldn't expect that of you. Show them who you really are, except the part where you catch aliens for a living of course." He boldly told her. She shouldn't be afraid to do something wrong in the eyes of her parents. It wasn't like they hadn't made some similar mistake in their past. You could only learn from your mistakes, so what would life be if you'd never made those mistakes.
"Yeah, maybe it's silly." She whispered after she let out a prolonged sigh.
"And why are you here? I thought you were going to spend Christmas with Ianto." She asked him after she obviously came to terms with what she needed to do; apologize to Rhys of course.
"I did, I was there." His voice sounded strange to his own ears. It was probably because of the lump he felt lodged in his throat.
"Then why are you here instead of celebrating? There's definitely not been a rift alarm, otherwise, you would've called someone in or been busy with the paperwork." Suspiciously she looked at him and tried to find out the real reason for his presence without the need to talk.
"I… found out something rather disturbing and just need to process the whole story." His vision slid away from her and towards the dragon, so artistically painted onto the wall. Only Ianto could've thought about cheering their surroundings up by painting a Welsh dragon onto their wall.
"Soooo… what was it?" She asked, moving her body so that she was in his field of vision again. Gwen clearly needed the distraction as much as he did, otherwise, she would've already gone back to Rhys.
"It might be better if I let that up to Ianto." He declared and wished she would give up, but Gwen wouldn't be Gwen if she didn't push those boundaries and tried to get her way.
" Just tell me, otherwise it will be all I'm thinking about for the coming hours." Her persuasive powers combined with her puppy dog eyes made him tell her what had happened only a few hours before.
"Long story short, I found out that Ianto has a son." His thumbs started to fidget with one another while he waited for Gwen's response. Maybe she would be able to talk some sense into him like he'd done for her just now.
"No way! From Lisa?"
"No, earlier. Teenage pregnancy he said."
"So what are you going to do?" Her hand grabbed his chin and turned it so that he was facing her.
"What do you mean?" Questioningly he watched what was going on on her face. A mix of fleeting emotions crossed her face.
"Jack, for months now you've been trying your hardest to woo Ianto back. Are you telling me that, because of one little discovery about his past you're going to give up?"
"I just…"
" I get it, you don't know what to believe anymore. I remember after the whole cyber woman fiasco we all found it quite difficult to trust Ianto. But if he didn't tell you about that kid, then he must've had one hell of a reason. Torchwood is toxic, remember. No way in hell did he want those two worlds combined."
-0O0-
"Hey Tad, what's this?" Daffyd asked, coming to him with a plastic bag full of wrapped presents. He hadn't even noticed that bag lying in the room, but it definitely wasn't his.
"Jack must've forgotten it." He just declared without much thought. His mind was somewhere else completely while he tried to be as cheerful as possible for Daffyd.
"Who's Jack?" His son asked him quite confused while he rummaged through the contents of the bag, probably looking if there was anything in there for him.
"You know the man who just left, his name's Jack."
"He was nice, who was he, Tad?"
"I'll tell you some time else, sweetie." If there was even a good time to tell Daffyd about Jack - most likely he would never have to do that if his worst fears would come true. Maybe it was just the immense stress he was feeling right now, but if he was right then he would never have to officially introduce Daffyd to Jack.
"They all have your name on it! Maybe Santa left them for you there!"
"They do?"
"Yeah, this one feels soft. It says from Jack to Ianto, may your Christmas be as amazing as you are." Before he knew it Daffyd had abandoned the plastic bag and started to rip off the gift wrapping from the present, even though he'd been protesting against it from the moment his finger tore open the package.
"It's a sweater! Look it has snowmen on it!" Daffyd told him enthusiastically. The wrapping paper lay abandoned on the ground when Daffyd lay the sweater carefully in his lap. It truly was an awesome sweater, he had to give Jack that.
"How nice."
"Aren't you going to try it on, Tad?" Daffyd had climbed on the couch next to him, watching his every move thoughtfully.
"Not now Daffyd, maybe later."
-0O0-
Somehow he was standing in one of the last open stores in Cardiff at Christmas day trying to figure out what to bring as a gift only an hour after Gwen had left. What she'd told him made sense, but he just felt like a total asshole - and maybe even worse, like a toddler. Of course, Ianto would've wanted to keep something like this a secret. Years at Torchwood made you even suspicious of the best of people, so he could figure out why Ianto never told him about Daffyd. He just hoped that if he hadn't found out, Ianto would've told him at some point. Standing before the shelves full with leftover Christmas articles his eyes went to one of the teddies with a Christmas jumper on. He had no idea if Daffyd was already too old for it, but it was quite cute - and also the only reasonable toy left at the grocery store.
Placing it in his shopping basket he went and placed some candy canes in there too, he hadn't spotted any when he'd been there, but then again he'd been quite distracted. Three Christmas hat's disappeared in there too, just like more chocolates. He'd once heard that to woo a parent, you need to woo the kid first.
Eventually, he made his way out of the grocery store with more things than he'd initially intended to end up with. He couldn't just take all those bags with him when he went to Ianto's door again, so he only took one of them. He put on one of the Santa hats and took the teddy and the candy canes with him. If things went smoothly then he would ask Ianto if he could get out the other stuff. Otherwise, he would just bring them to the hub and say he had a few gifts for them.
While he drove - or like the team would always say, race like a maniac on wheels - towards Ianto's place he went a little mad from all the jolly Christmas carols bursting through the speakers, so he turned it off and drove further in silence. How did people enjoy listening to those songs almost 24/7 for the past month or so?
But when he came there, doubt took over his ever being and froze him in his spot. What would he do if Ianto refused him?
Nevertheless, he stepped out of the car and brought those few items with him towards the door. Once again he stood there waiting after he rang the bell. He could see that they were home because the lights were on and he saw the illumination of the TV.
Before he knew it the door was opened and instead of Ianto - who he'd expected to open the door - little Daffyd opened up - still in his PJ's.
"Mr Jack!" The kid squealed. Little Daffyd let go of the doorpost and ran into his legs, hugging them so tight he had to watch out not to fall down.
"Hey, there kiddo. Should you be opening the door already?" A very soft no came from somewhere around his knees.
"Also, when did I tell you my name?" He wondered out loud when Daffyd drew away from his knees. Having been freed he took a final step inside and closed the door behind him.
"Dad did, I asked who you were when you left." One day, this boy's innocence would be able to get him out of great trouble. Even now he just couldn't help but want to give him everything in the world.
"Is your dad here too?" Daffyd looked up, rather scared.
"He's in the loo, please don't tell him. He'll be so angry." He put his closed hand in front of his mouth and closed the imaginary lock on his mouth and threw away the invisible key.
"Our secret." A wink confirmed his secrecy.
Before he left Daffyd alone to find Ianto he took one of the Santa hats out of the bag and proudly put it upon Daffyd's little head. It still was a little too big, but by placing it sideways he managed to not put it in front of the boy's eyes.
"There, now that's a proper Christmas." He said after he'd opened up the candy canes and given one to Daffyd to keep him satisfied while he went in search of Ianto. Daffyd looked at the piece of candy like he'd never seen it before in his life, Ianto wouldn't withhold that from the boy… right?
After checking that he'd firmly locked the door he went and left Daffyd with his newfound toys. The boy would be able to keep himself entertained for a while. The kitchen was empty, so was the bathroom. So there was only one possibility possible, the bedroom. The one that stood ajar, clearly looked like a child's bedroom and with one quick look inside he saw that Ianto wasn't inside. So he walked to the other possible closed door. Just to be sure he knocked once before he slowly opened it up. A creaky sound went through the air when he heard a dejected Ianto say: " I'll be there in a second, Daffyd, just let me be for a few minutes longer." He opened up the door fully and stepped inside. Light from the hallway flooded into the darkroom and illuminated Ianto, who was sitting on the bed with his hands in front of his eyes. His hair was all messed up and his dishevelled appearance didn't give him the best of vibes.
Slowly he stepped closer towards Ianto.
"What did I say?" Ianto began to get angry, his voice becoming like the authoritative parent he imagined him to be.
"I know what you said." Ianto's hands disappeared from his face and with bloodshot eyes, he looked at him.
"Jack! What are you doing here?" Like a lightning bolt, Ianto shot up from his place and stood right in front of him.
"Coming to see you guys of course!" His smile was genuine and his voice jolly. He actually felt that he was quite excited - although very nervous - to be doing this. This was what he wanted, after all, and Gwen was right, there was very little in this world that he wouldn't forgive Ianto for.
"Good or bad?"
"Why? Are you expecting some grave news from me?"
"You never know." His shoulders went up and down in the universal sign of 'I don't know'. He kept silent for a moment, pondering about how he was going to formulate his answer when Ianto spoke again.
"I'll hand in my official notice first thing in the morning." Shocked, he looked at the man he once said he loved and felt like in those few hours he'd turned into another man.
"Why? Why, for god's sake would you do that?"
"You know. I would rather keep the honours to myself than get fired because of it." With his head, Ianto pointed towards the still open bedroom door that would eventually lead towards the living room where he could hear Daffyd loudly enjoy his evening.
"I would never. I'm not that cruel! Were you expecting me to fire you? To dump you? Just because you have one very excited son living in the world? What kind of cruel prick do you see me for?" His fingers went to Ianto's face and gently wiped away the stray tears on his cheeks.
"I've heard different stories though. Single parents whose new partner refuses the kid, or something. I just thought you wouldn't exactly appreciate it when you found this out. Because… you know."
"To be completely honest, yes, it was quite a shock. And yes, I did find it hard to deal with. But should this really be something worthy of breaking off all the amazing things between us? I haven't been trying so hard to win you back only to leave you because of a skeleton in the closet."
"I know you, Jack, you leave people for far less." Emotionally they were as far away from each other as possible, while physically they stood within armlength of each other.
"I really hope you know me better than that, Ianto. I could never do that… not to you." There it was, the reason why he would never be able to abandon Ianto. He loved him so sincerely, but he could only hope Ianto felt the same thing for him. An eerie silent hung into the air. Outside of the TV and the - probably sugar-induced - noises Daffyd made, the apartment was completely silent. It took him a few minutes, but then he thought of something that might work, but could also be the fatal ending to their relationship. On two firm feet, he went to stand right in front of Ianto and made sure that he saw and heard him.
"Also, I'm just a man, standing in front of a man, asking him to love him." He let out a deep sigh when Ianto started to laugh at him and nothing worse, to be honest, he could've expected it.
"Really?" Ianto asked, jokingly.
"Yeah, didn't think that would work, but it was worth a try." At a loss for words and having no idea what to do anymore he sat down on the bed that he knew like the back of his hand. Now he understood why he was always forbidden to enter the room - which he now knew to be Daffyd's room.
" Actually, I never thought you to be the kind of man to watch Nothing Hill." Ianto sat down on the bed next to him - almost crushing his hand.
"I'll tell you something Lisa once told me when I was trying to save her from the cyber conversion: 'Ianto, there isn't a monster, you wouldn't be able to love.' and I think she was right. Because no matter what happens between us, I'll always love you." Their hands touched and inside his heart melted from the words Ianto was saying.
''Wait! You think of me as a monster?'' He asked, rather offended.
''No, it's just a saying.'' There was a brief silence before he made up his mind and spoke the truth of his heart's desires.
"I love you too, so much that it scares me." He professed. Suddenly everything went quiet, he couldn't even hear Daffyd anymore, which rather worried him. But before he could even blink with his eyes he was thinking about something else completely. Soft lips pushed themselves on his and nothing but those lips were entering his mind. Just when breath became a little too scarce, they broke apart and stared into each other's eyes like lovesick puppies. When his mind registered the absence of noise again he looked up in panic and found Daffyd standing in the door opening, staring at them both with big eyes and his mouth agape. His Spiderman toy hung neglected in his hand against his leg.
"I knew it!" An earsplitting smile slowly appeared on the young boy's face just when Spiderman fell to the floor. Daffyd didn't notice, he was far too occupied, with the sight in front of him. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him and almost collapsed against Ianto's legs. Luckily, Ianto was just in time to prevent that and hoisted his son onto his lap, hugging the boy with everything he had in him. Daffyd's head - which was lying on Ianto's shoulder - tilted sidewards and his joyous eyes looked up at him.
"So you were daddy's present, after all!" He whispered a little bit too loud. His right hand went towards Daffyd's curly head and ruffled those brown curls firmly. He seemed like such a sweet boy, he only hoped that he would be able to get to know the boy better than what he'd seen and heard about him today.
"That depends."
"On what?"
" On if your daddy wants to unwrap his present?" He asked this question more to Ianto than he intended it to be for Daffyd, but in the end - if he got the right answer - both of them would be happy.
"Do you, daddy? Oh please….?" At that moment Daffyd stood jumping on Ianto's lap, Ianto was careful not to let him fall onto the hard ground and get himself killed, and all the while he patiently waited for Ianto's answer. And, of course, he wanted his honest answer, not the one influenced by those sad puppy dog looking eyes of his son.
"Of course, I do!" Ianto told him. A cheering boy climbed down Ianto's lap and before he knew it he was holding a miniature version of Ianto in his arms. While he could feel Daffyd's arms around his neck and held the boy securely so he wouldn't fall, he looked at Ianto and found just as big a smile on his face as he'd found on Daffyd's. This was only going to be the start. The start of a bright future, one in which he wouldn't withhold parts of his past from his partner - he really had to tell Ianto about Lucia, Alice and Steven - and one in which he was going to find more than just a quick fuck. Because if he liked to or not, his love for Ianto went deeper than the bottom of the ocean.
He only hoped, Ianto felt the same way. But that was something for another day.
''So… Who wants food?'' He asked, looking outside and noticing it was already getting dark.
''Me!'' Daffyd practically screamed as he jumped up and down in front of them.
''Okay, that's settled then.'' He said after giving Ianto one chaste kiss on his lips. He would have to get to his car and get out the other bags.
''Daffyd? What is that in your pocket?'' Ianto asked just seconds after their lips had separated.
''Nothing….'' The young boy tried to deny. He wasn't really good at trying to defuse the tension he noticed.
''Jack! Have you given him a sugar bomb?'' Right at that moment, he was getting rather scared of Ianto. Slowly Daffyd and he backed away out of the room before Ianto could explode.
''Come on kiddo, we're getting out of here.'' He whispered to the boy. He already knew they were going to be great friends.