"Is this okay?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you're perfectly comfortable? I don't want to startle you."

"Kakashi..." the grey-haired man raised his eyebrow as your quiet sigh reached his ears "Hard to believe, but I'm not made of glass."

"Well, considering what we're attempting to do, this might actually-"

"Okay, stop. This talk is making me nervous already." you pointed out, your voice becoming just a little bit shakier than before.

You were cosily sitting on a sofa in an apartment both you and Kakashi shared. Being wrapped in your favourite fluffy blanket, you were shielding yourself from the world which proved to be yet more cruel and merciless than you used to think just a couple weeks ago. You created a shell around yourself which isolated you from everything and everyone - your friends, family, teammates and, even if it was incredibly difficult to admit, Kakashi himself. The blanket was just another cover, a wall giving you the sense of protectiveness you needed and which your mind demanded.

The man of your dreams hated to see you in such a state - vulnerable, controlled by fear. He remembers how you used to smile, how you used to go out to meet and hang out with people. You were a ray of sunshine, always full of positivity and enthusiasm. Nothing and no one could bring you down.

Just one unfortunate mission was enough to change you in the complete opposite of who you once were. Kakashi cursed himself for not being able to protect you back there. He should have known better, he should have persuaded the Fifth Hokage to allow him to join your team. Instead of taking action, he remained silent, worries eating him bit by bit with each passing hour and you being on your mission.

He knew the task you were assigned to was tough, filled with difficulties as it required venturing into the lair where darkness found its place to remain, where it blossomed and lived under an order of someone who was being called a snake. The Serpent's Den, that's how the children of Otogakure used to call this place. And Kakashi shamelessly allowed you to go all by yourself, never preparing you for the horrors which lurked beneath the only world you knew.

Despite you were different now, the copy-nin never stopped to love you. Just his presence during these trying times was enough to prove it.

"Are you... sure what to do?"

"Come on, put some trust in me." Kakashi spoke pulling his mask down, another little gesture to soothe you as much as possible "Lady Tsunade explained me everything. I know what to do."

You weren't so sure of his words just yet. Right now, the barrier placed by your mind seemed impossible to overcome. You distrusted yourself as much as you distrusted Kakashi's words. Somehow, you just couldn't believe he would suddenly make everything better.

It wasn't that easy. Nothing in life was that easy, now you knew.

And suddenly his fingertips connected with your bare skin, sending a pulse of electricity through your veins. It lasted just a while, barely a second as you flinched, backing off from the grey-haired man, breaking any physical contact you both had.

Kakashi inspected you with his gaze, the crimson sharingan always present inside his left socket. He anticipated such reaction coming from your side, not only because Lady Tsunade told him earlier. He knew the task he agreed to bear requires a dozen of patience and apprehension. Kakashi was more than ready to let you have your time, but a will to liaise on your part was necessary to make things work.

"(Y/N)?" Kakashi called out, glancing at your shaky posture and his eyebrows furrowing with concern. You took a deep inhale, rubbing circles where your skin came into contact with his.

It wasn't just a matter of an uneasy feeling. Your forearm burnt, like steel previously bathed in fire was being pressed against your naked skin. Your body registered pain, not touch at all.

Your words were left unspoken as your mind focused on stings creeping up your arm. You thought of yourself as a misery now, a failure as not even a man you loved so much could avoid the blockade left by your mind. He was recognized as another source of danger, a being capable of hurting which your brain desperately tried to keep away for the sake of your own safety. It was an unconditioned reflex, dictated by phobias corrupting your sanity.

Just one mission was enough. Kakashi cursed his imprudence again.

"Babe?"

"I-I don't think I can do this." your words jangled in the air, a desperate beg for mercy "Listen, this is not gonna work. It's pointless. I-I just have to learn how to live with it and-"

"Learn how to live with an endless fear of being hurt by even the slightest touch?" Kakashi's eyes examined your face, reading you like a book with sharingan "Come on, (Y/N). We both know it is not what you want."

And no matter how hard would you try to dissent, hiding behind the spurious voice of submission to who you've become, there was no escape from Kakashi's pair of heedful eyes. He sees you through with ease, pierces your soul with sharingan just like a blade crosses its way with heart during battle. Kakashi never waits, never asks, never bides for permission - he lets his dōjutsu get you sussed, no matter if you wish for it or no.

"Kakashi..."

"Just look at me." he wished he could catch your cheeks between hands, guiding your gaze to meet with his own, but he knew it would be just another trigger for your alarmed body "It's just me. You know there is nothing to fear as long as I'm by your side. Together, we will figure it out," he promised yet again, trying to drum hope of returning to your old self into your head.

That's the best he can do now.

His fingers again came in contact with your exposed skin. You let the blanket fell down during the first attempt, so there was no more a wall to protect you from the surroundings. Your silky soft skin reacted on its own again, just like it was a second, separated from your own consciousness being in your body. You didn't wish for this, you didn't want this to hurt. You pined for touch which would bring your comfort, not ache. Kakashi's fingers were like needles, burying deep in your skin. In result, you didn't yearn for strokes or caress at all.

This time nonetheless, you forced your body to stay still. Kakashi appreciated your strong will as your arm barely flinched, only a trail of goosebumps appearing and travelling through the whole length of the limb. You tried to train your brain, to remind it that there was nothing to fear, that Kakashi was no danger or threat. Keeping your mind at ease became intractable as you had to repeat thoughts of relief like a mantra, but it was a challenge you decided to take.

If Kakashi was making effort, endeavouring as best as he could, you'll follow him in his footsteps.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes..." you almost wailed, refusing to exchange his gaze which was hovering over your form, searching for any other hints of your malaise.

"Can I continue?" Kakashi received no words this time. Instead, a simple nod from your side played the role of a reply. He respected your silence, no longer expecting any verbal answers. He was going to let you have this privilege as you have greater matters to focus on.

After obtaining a sign of approval, Kakashi's hand moved further. It climbed up your arm with all tenderness he had, causing you harm being the last thing he wished for. Your skin gifted with softness comparable only to flower's petals became a trial for Kakashi's fingers, but for you, it was more like a path of fire.

Your muscles were tense, ready to command limbs to flee from touch at any time. Your mind didn't allow the body it had under control to rest. Each move sends a powerful wave of continuous stings spreading as it was a flame, bursting under your skin and causing pain, even if it was made up only by sickened imagination. Every time you dared to land your gaze on exposed skin, you were sure marks of scorch will appear.

However, fantasy never met with reality.

You were glad it didn't.

"What did Lady Tsunade call it again?"

"Haphephobia." Kakashi guessed you were no longer able to keep your stillness and perhaps were looking for comfort in his words. "Every session brings you closer to your old self. You do understand how important it is, don't you?" silence answered him yet again "You do, I know you do. I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. But I ensure you - I'm going to do everything I can to make it better." a rare smile appeared on Kakashi's face and you somehow felt he's carrying your burden together with you. Simple, but yet comforting feeling.

His hand was slowly reaching its destination. Yet hidden under the thin cloth of your shirt, the sigil of your corruption, the mark to be never washed away, was going to be unrevealed to your and Kakashi's eyes. You wish it would stay veiled as a secret being held from humanity forever - because it makes you feel not so human anymore.

The snake left an imprint of its fangs, buried so deep that it contaminated you from the inside.

When you came back to the village, or rather when a member of your team carried your listless body back home, Kakashi was the one to seal the poison and stop it from spreading further. He remembers your yells well, observing as the signs painted with ink climbed from the floor up to your arm, creating a protective circle around the source of all your suffering. His eyes watched you with anguish, but he knew it had to be done and he was the only person being able to aid you when you needed it most.

The poison had been conquered. But the nightmares of what happened in the snake's cave still plague your mind.

Kakashi's glance hovered over the serpent's mark, the feeling of sorrow blooming into another one called guilt as his heart ached. It ached so hard that his lips set in a grim line, trying to contain these emotions deep inside, trying to hide them away from you, for the sake of yours. The very last thing Kakashi craved for was making you carry his remorse with him.

Seeing the mark of his burden reminded him of the events of the past few days and his soul suffered even more.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you when you needed me most," Kakashi whispered, his fingers again drawing a trace across the smoothness of your skin "I promise I will never let it happen again."

"It wasn't your fault," you whispered, shivering each time Kakashi's fingertips came up too close to the cursed seal printed on your shoulder.

"So whose if not mine?" a question slipped out from his partially closed lips "Let's face the truth, (Y/N). If I had pushed the Fifth, nothing of this would have happened. You would never get hurt on my watch."

"Kakashi-"

"Stop denying the truth. I should have been there," his voice was filled with grief as his eyes dig deep into yours "At least, let me fix my mistakes."

Kakashi knew that if he doesn't answer to your pain now, later it'll be too late to reverse the errors of the past.

His fingers came across the seal and your body shivered, as you were to be struck by a flash of lightning. The sudden move of yours made Kakashi's eyes dim, but he kept his hand in place. The fact you didn't shove his arm off immediately brought him a sense of relief but still, he felt how your muscles tensed up, how your whole body stiffened. But there is progress, he kept telling himself. You didn't escape.

You inhaled a sharp breath. It was doable, despite all the circumstances.

"See? We can make this work," Kakashi claimed, rubbing his fingertips against the mark of fangs "All you need to do is to put some faith in me."

Still, you didn't trust Kakashi's words just yet. But the blessing sense of touch he gifted you with turned out to be enough to bring hope back into your strangled soul.