Nina

AN: you should probably reread the last few chapters real fast before this one.

As it turned out, the backseats of taxi cabs were ideal spots for making out.

It was a quarter till eleven – we'd applied for special permission to stay out past curfew – and as we returned from our date Fabian's hands were gently gripping my waist, and I was pushed back into a seat that smelled like leather, his lips moving beneath mine. The driver didn't seem to mind, and had even slid the divider between the front and back seats shut. I ran my fingers through his hair over and over again.

"God I love your hair," I muttered, focusing on the silky feel of it.

I could feel Fabian's lips tilt up into a smile. "What else do you love?" he gently teased, kisses moving to my cheekbone.

His breath ghosting my skin made it very hard to think straight. "Your, ah, accent."

"My accent, really?"

"Definitely the hottest thing about you." He moved lower, to right beneath my ear and I gasped involuntarily. "If I were blind, I would date you based on the accent alone."

He gave a little laugh, I could feel my neck rumble with it, my fingers curling, one still in his hair and the other on his shoulder. "So it has nothing to do with my winning personality I see."

"Can't you tell by now that I'm using you only for your body," I muttered, cupping the back of his neck to drag him back to kiss me again. Fabian was, well and truly, an absolutely stellar kisser, and I intended to take full advantage of it for as long as I could, considering how limited privacy was in Anubis house. "Your hair, your accent, your hands." His long, gorgeous fingers as they strummed guitar or gripped a pencil or pushed a stray hair behind my ears.

I was dangerously close to saying it, and I wanted to, I wanted to say it so bad I could almost feel the words pressing against my tongue, but after swallowing them down for so long I hadn't expected them to just pop right out while kissing in the back of a taxi. So when I suddenly whispered "I love you", it took a second for me to figure out why Fabian stilled beneath me.

My eyes flew open at the realization of what I'd just said, and I saw in the dim orange of passing streetlights he'd gone slightly pale. "You what?"

I couldn't speak. This was not the reaction I'd been hoping for. But then his face split with a smile so soft I could feel it like a caress against my face. Maybe I'd imagined his first reaction? But then I forgot whatever I was thinking about as his hands came up to gently cup my cheeks. "I love you too," he whispered, and the very blood in my veins turned to sunshine as he kissed me again.

Far too soon, we pulled up to the house, and walked up the driveway, stumbling a bit as neither of us wanted to separate. My back hit the door and I fumbled with the handle into the coatroom, Fabian shutting it behind us, and then the door to the entryway. That one we left open, as we made our way to the stairway, and he pressed me up against the banister. I would've been happy to stay like that until the sun came up the next morning, but there was some very pointed throat clearing above us, followed by a sharp, "Mr. Rutter. Ms. Martin."

We broke apart, looking up at the second-floor landing. Victor was wearing a disapproving scowl. "You have six minutes before I want both of you in bed for lights out."

Fabian playfully raised his eyebrows at me playfully, and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek, whispering, "I love you."

My heart contracted. "I love you too," I replied, before turning and jogging up the stairs. I was so ecstatic I was surprised I didn't start flying. I had to tell Amber. I glanced behind me to see Fabian was watching me leave, and smiled so wide it felt like my cheeks might bruise. I headed towards my room, trying to walk quietly in case Mara or the other girls were already asleep. I knocked twice on the door before entering, and Amber bounded up from where she'd been sitting on her bed in a fluffy pink bathrobe.

"Neens! How was it?"

I chewed on my lower lip excitedly, reaching out my hands to grab in her direction. "Fabian told me he loves me."

Amber's mouth opened wide into the letter 'O', and she raced over, grabbing my hands and spinning me around the room, quietly squealing. "He said he loves you? Nina that's amazing, he loves you, Fabian loves you!"

I giggled a bit as we jumped up and down a couple times, and let myself savor the words. "He loves me, he loves me," I sing-songed.

Amber dragged me over to her bed, pushed me down and sat down next to me. "Tell me how it happened, tell me exactly how it happened."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling as I tossed my hair behind my shoulders. "Okay, so we're in the taxi coming back, and, you know, we're, kissing and stuff, and I said 'I love you'."

Amber gasped excitedly. "You said it first?"

I nodded. "I didn't even mean to say it right then, I'd just wanted to say it for so long and it sort of slipped out in the moment."

Amber clapped her hands together. "How long have you known?"

Since I met him. "A few months."

"What? Why did you wait so long to say it?"

I hunched my shoulders up, feeling bashful and a bit defensive. "Well I wasn't sure he'd say it back at first! And then," I made a vague wibble-wobble motion with my hand.

"And then what? Anyone with eyes can see how much he cares about you."

"How much he loves me you mean?" I couldn't resist correcting Amber, and then my smile slightly dimmed. "I don't know, lately I just feel as if there's something he's not telling me."

Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Like what?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, it's just a feeling. I'll catch him looking at me a certain way, or he'll jump when I come up behind him, and sometimes he does that thing where his shoulders get all tense for no reason. I thought he might be about to break up with me to be honest." It had been nagging on the edge of my brain for over a week, that he was hiding something important from me, but I'd had no idea how to voice what was probably just my paranoia coming out.

"BREAK UP WITH YOU?"

"Shh!" I clapped a hand over her mouth, laughing at her indignation on my behalf. "Evidently I was wrong, but it worried me at the time!"

We both turned around as the door swung open to see Patricia scowling at us. "Could you two shut up?"

Undeterred, Amber leapt lightly to her feet and pranced over, pulling Patricia into the room. "Patricia guess what." She shut the door and turned to me expectantly. "Tell her Nina."

I curled my toes inside my black ballet flats. "Fabian told me he loves me."

I knew better than to think Patricia would start squealing, or jumping up and down, but I had been expecting a smile at the very least. Instead her eyes narrowed and she folded her arms. "He did what?" Her words were coated with suspicious disbelief.

My smile faltered. "What's wrong?"

Patricia shook her head, red hair swinging back and forth. "Nothing, sorry. I was just surprised. That's great, Nina. So was it just out of the blue then?"

I was still uncertain. "No, I said it first and he said it back. Why did you react like that?"

Her scowl deepened. "Because it's the middle of the night and I have things I'd rather be doing that don't include having to listen to you two dissecting Fabian's every hand gesture, eye twitch, and sneeze over the last two hours. Now would you please try and keep it down? I don't want to spend the rest of my week scrubbing toilets."

Amber and I did in fact stay up until the wee hours, but Fabian's sneezes were only brought up twice. And while Amber was able to brush off any unease she might have had about how Patricia took the news, I still couldn't shake the feeling there was something I should know.

I woke up the next morning smiling, and after a few seconds I remembered why. I pressed my face into my pillow and fought back the urge to shriek with excitement. Fabian loved me. Fabian Rutter loved me. I thought I might actually cry from sheer happiness, but settled for rolling out of bed to brush my teeth.

Amber and I had both slightly overslept, and so when we came downstairs, the other seats at the table were already filled. Fabian smiled shyly at me as I sat down, and I felt my fingers tingling. He held out a a hand and I took it, biting down on my lip to try and focus on what he was saying.

"Have you bought your train ticket?"

I shook my head. "I'll do it this week, I've just been busy."

He nodded, looking slightly anxious. "But don't forget, okay?"

I brought up my other hand to rub circles on his knuckles. "Relax," I coaxed. "I'll get to it, I promise." Fabian and I were finalizing our plans for winter break, which started in two weeks, since I would be spending it at his house this year. His parents and my grandmother had all given permission, so now all I had to do was buy my train ticket and tell the school I wouldn't be on campus during the holidays.

"Hey."

Realizing I'd been lost in thought, I looked up at Fabian. "Yeah?"

He leaned forward, and so did I. "I love you."

Briefly, I thought about making a joke, "I vaguely tolerate you" or something, but all I could do was smile like an idiot and say, "I love you too."

Fabian brought our clasped hands up and pressed his lips to my fingers, making me shiver. God I loved him, I loved him so much sometimes it made my chest physically hurt, and all I wanted to do was drag him into the nearest room with a lock on the door and make out with him for all of eternity.

Someone rapped on the doorframe, and we all turned to see a very harried looking Mr. Sweet. "Ms. Martin, may I please speak with you for a moment?"

Confused, I glanced at Eddie, but he merely shrugged at me. I stood and followed him into the entryway, and saw him wringing his hands as he faced me. "What's up?" I really hoped I wasn't in trouble.

"I have a favor to ask of you. We have a young man from Portugal, Miguel Rodriguez, who is looking to transfer here. Unfortunately, his English skills are still developing, and I received a call five minutes ago saying his translator will be unavailable this week."

I was getting a bad feeling about this. "Okay, and?"

Mr. Sweet looked even more anxious that he had to spell it out. "My ex-wife mentioned recently that you speak Portuguese?"

I nodded, already resigning myself. "And you need someone to translate for him."

He seemed thrilled I finally connected the dots. "Only until Friday, and you would be excused from any quizzes or tests you might miss of course. Would you mind?"

I forced myself not to sigh. "Yeah, no problem."

"Wonderful! Shall we go?"

I blinked. "What, right now?"

"Yes, he'll be arriving in my office in twenty minutes." Mr. Sweet looked at me expectantly.

"Uh, let me just grab my bag." I ducked back into the kitchen and pointed an accusing finger at Eddie. "Edison, I swear, amo a tu madre, pero podría tener que matarla." I love your mother, but I might have to kill her. Eddie was the only one here who had taken Spanish in junior high, and I'd gone over some of it with him during the summer.

It took him a few seconds to puzzle out, but then he glared at me as I grabbed my bag. "What did my mom ever do to you?"

I lowered my voice. "She told your dad I speak Portuguese, so now I have to spend today, tomorrow, and Friday acting as a translator for some kid who might transfer." I placed a hand on Fabian's shoulder. "Would you mind taking notes for me?"

He shook his head. "Not at all."

"Thanks." I placed a swift kiss on his cheek and headed out. "I'll see you guys after class," I called, before walking out the door Mr. Sweet was holding open for me.

He kept checking his watch has we walked over, but when we got to his office no one was there. I sat down in one of the chairs, crossed my legs, and pulled out my phone to text Amber.

About ten minutes later the door opened.

"Ah, Mr. Rodriguez! How wonderful to have you here." I turned to see a tall guy about my age, with brown skin and browner hair, in jeans and a white button-down shirt. He was even pretty cute looking. "Erm, Ms. Martin?"

I realized I was expected to translate Mr. Sweet's welcoming words, and hurriedly did so.

"This is Nina Martin, she's a student here, and will be translating for you this week."

"Olá, meu nomé é Nina Martin, e eu estarei traduzindo para você esta semana."

"It is good to meet you Nina." He reached out a hand to shake mine, as he spoke in thickly accented English. "My name is Miguel."

We spent some time in the office going over what his schedule would be the next three days, although I had to pause sometimes when I didn't know a word and try and explain to Miguel what I meant. We walked down the halls, Mr. Sweet making sure to show off our library, and sat in the classes he would be taking for a couple minutes, as I did my best to translate what the teacher said. I was mostly relying on instinct, and if I thought too hard about it I started to trip up. Miguel didn't seem to mind though, always waiting patiently for me to finish.

"Nina, will you attend this school next year?" Miguel managed to ask, as we walked away from Computer Sciences.

I nodded. "Yes, next year will be my last year."

He smiled. "That is nice."

I found it more stressful than nice, considering I didn't even want to think about college or all the other things that came with leaving school. "Yes it is." I switched back to Portuguese as Mr. Sweet spoke up. "Here, we have one of our English classes."

We wrapped up the tour about twenty minutes after the day's last class had been let out, and by then I was about sixty percent sure Miguel was flirting with me. He'd be staying until dinner, and so Mr. Sweet asked if I could take him back to Anubis and help him interact with my housemates. He dropped us off in the entryway where he'd picked me up, and said he'd return in four hours.

Rolling out a crick in my neck, I walked into the living room to drop my bag on a chair, unsure why I'd taken it when I hadn't ended up going to any classes. "Hey guys, this is Miguel Rodriguez. Miguel, this is Mara, Joy, Jerome, and Alfie, and this is Fabian, my boyfriend." I may have put a slight emphasis on the word boyfriend, but if Miguel noticed he didn't show it.

Mara was sitting on Jerome's lap on the chair next to the fireplace, and they called out greetings. Alfie was on the chair next to them, and Joy was doing homework at the kitchen table. They both waved when their names were called. Fabian gave his usual friendly smile, but he had already been walking over to kiss me hello. He tasted like toothpaste, and I hid a smile at the thought.

"So Miguel, how are you liking Amun?" Mara asked.

I started to translate as feet came flying down the stairs, but before I could finish Amber ran in and grabbed my hand. "Nina! You're back! I need your help upstairs. Right now."

"Um," I looked at Miguel very pointedly, and then back at Amber. "Can it wait?"

"No, Neens, it can't wait. It's about that Egyptian project we've been working on."

I said something in Portuguese that had Miguel raising his eyebrows, and then turned to him. "I am very sorry, could you please give me a few minutes? I'll be right back."

Miguel shrugged, as though he couldn't be bothered one way or the other, and calmly sat down in one of the armchairs. Amber rapidly tugged me out of the room and back up the stairs, and I struggled to keep up with her pace, but when we reached our room I understood the hurry.

The Book of the Dead was spinning in the middle of the room five feet in the air, and a miniature tornado of light blue energy – energy I distinctly recognized – was whirling beneath it. A very unhappy spirit was standing next to them. I bit down on my lip nervously. I hadn't thought she'd materialize in the house.

"It just started doing this all of a sudden," Amber said. I knew from the way her eyes completely passed over Isis, that she couldn't see her. "It just leapt out of your dresser and started spinning, and also it explodes every few seconds."

I almost asked what she meant, before sparks shot out of the book, and I reflexively stepped back. "Lovely," I muttered.

"You broke our deal Chosen One."

I scowled. "No, I absolutely did not. I told you I wasn't coming last night."

Amber coughed. "Um, who are you talking to?"

I pressed my fingers into my eyes. I had been hoping to avoid this conversation for much longer. "Another spirit, I seem to attract them like boy bands attract groupies lately."

Amber's eyes lit up with curiosity. "Is this one pink?"

"Light blue."

"Ooh, like sapphire?"

"More of an eggshell, really."

"CHOSEN ONE."

I winced at the volume. "What?"

"You are supposed to come when I call, not just when it's convenient."

I raised my hand. "Hang on just a second." I turned to Amber. "Would you mind terribly if I asked you to leave?"

Amber considered it. "Depends on the reason."

"It's very strange having a conversation with someone only one of us can see. I promise I'll fill you in later."

"Fine. I'll be downstairs, just make sure my bed doesn't catch on fire." She winked at me, before gracefully gliding out and shutting the door behind her.

"Do you care to explain why you didn't show up last night?"

I folded my arms, refusing to feel guilty. "I had a date last night."

Isis' face turned steely. As dark blue as her sister Nepthys was, Isis was entirely pale, and when she glared her complexion often made her eyes look like chips of ice. I should know, the Egyptian goddess of magic had glared at me often enough. "You had a date."

"Yes."

"I told you I would be coming to your realm to help you continue to master your powers, and despite knowing I would be here, and despite knowing the energy it costs me to come, and despite knowing the urgency of your lessons, you decided to go on a date?"

"Yes."

"WOULD YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN WHY."

I crossed my arms, digging my fingers into my elbows. "We have been doing this for almost a month now. Every time you call me, often in the middle of the night, I sneak out of the house and head over to find you. But I need you to understand, I have a life here, that doesn't entirely revolve around being the Chosen One."

"If Beset is not stopped you will not have a life at all."

I could feel my patience wearing thin. "One session is not going to make or break my control."

"No, it won't, because you have no control," Isis snapped. "You insist on suppressing every memory of your magic, and you despise trying to access your powers."

"I already told you I have no idea what memories you're talking about, and you won't even tell me why I need my powers. What do you expect me to do with them, telekinetically punt Beset out a four-story window?"

Isis looked both unimpressed and decidedly pissed off. "Your powers are both your birthright and your heritage as Chosen One, and yes, sooner or later you will need them to fight the Usurper."

"Can't you just say her name?" I demanded. "She's not Voldemort for crying out loud."

Isis' eyes narrowed into slits. "We do not speak the name of one who has forsaken their duty."

"Satet said her name," I muttered rebelliously.

"Satet would do well to learn fear is not her enemy," Isis retorted. "Fear is the visitor who comes knocking at our door, and when he does we must let him in, speak with him, and learn what he is trying to tell us."

"Look," I tried to pacify her. "I'm sorry I couldn't make the training yesterday. I know it's not easy for you to come here, and I'm sorry about what's happening to your sister. We're getting through the rooms as fast as we can, and I promise I will come to the next lesson. I can train right now if you want." I really hoped she didn't, considering Miguel was still waiting downstairs.

Isis shook her head. "No, the planes have moved too far, it hurts me to stay here. I wanted to tell you about this last night, but you didn't come."

"I told you I couldn't make it," I felt obligated to point out.

She dismissed this immediately. "The planes are about to undergo a major shift. None of us will be able to cross over through any means for over a month starting tonight."

I wasn't sure I'd heard right. "A month?" I'd just gotten over my sin of pride yesterday.

"Forty-two days, to be exact."

I felt a bit dazed. The longest I'd ever gone without crossing had been a week. "Wow," I said, unsure what else to say.

"One more thing."

Hoping she wasn't about to yell at me again, I reluctantly met her eyes. They were softer than I had expected. "Do not mistake my impatience for ungratefulness. You say you are going towards my sister as fast as you can, and I believe you. I love Nepthys the way the sky loves the sun, and it pains me to be without her, and I do appreciate everything you are doing to bring her home to me. I thank you for it."

I smiled. "You're welcome."

She vanished in a swirl of pale blue, taking the tornado with her, and the book thudded to the ground. I carefully picked it up, checking for tears – it was a couple thousand years old after all, getting chucked around by a magic storm can't be good for it – and was relieved when it appeared undamaged. I tucked it back into my dresser, smoothed down my hair, and left.

I heard raised voices coming from down the hall, and realized Eddie and Patricia were arguing in her room.

"How have you not told her yet?"

"I don't know if I should tell her, that's why I told you!"

I knocked twice before opening the door, and upon seeing it was me both promptly turned white as a sheet. I figured it had probably been a private conversation. "Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, but the transfer is downstairs and I was hoping you could come and meet him?"

Patricia recovered first, said, "Yeah sure," and glared at Eddie pointedly before tugging him along.

Everyone took turns asking Miguel banal questions; what was his home like, favorite sports teams, favorite food, any family, etc. I was grateful for the simplicity, as my vocabulary had already been stretched to its limit.

Mr. Sweet came by right before dinner to pick him up, as promised, and asked me to be in his office tomorrow a half an hour before school started. They would be meeting with some of the senior teachers.

The second they left I collapsed into a kitchen chair, the others already seated. "You guys didn't come visit before transferring right?" Amber asked.

Eddie shook his head. "Nah, but I didn't really have a choice in the matter."

"Apparently he has an IQ of over 170 and has already published a paper on antimatter," I idly twirled my hair as I answered. "He's looking at a couple of other schools, and they all want him just as badly."

"Antimatter?" Jerome raised his eyebrows. "What's that?"

I could see Mara and Fabian opening their mouths to answer, but I cut them off. "Absolutely not, I refuse to hear about it one more time today. See I don't know the word for antimatter or a bunch of other fancy terms in Portuguese, and so it was a complete nightmare to translate."

Fabian placed a soothing hand on my shoulder, and I reached up to squeeze it as we started eating. "So did I miss anything important?"

"Nothing vital," he shrugged. I still felt a small thrill go through me every time I looked at him. He loves me, he loves me, he loves me. "We got our Hamlet essays back, yours is in my bag, Alfie did a kazoo solo during music class, and we have a history test on Monday."

I dropped my fork and put my head in my hands. "Goddamn it."

"What's the matter?"

"I left my history notes in my locker."

Fabian made a sympathetic noise. "Do you want to borrow mine?"

I laughed. "Fabian, I love you, but I cannot read your handwriting. I'll be right back." I pushed my chair back and headed out, wrapping my arms around myself in the brisk chill. It got dark early these days, and so even though it was barely eight, it was already pitch black. Thankfully the school was open until ten for library hours, even though office hours ended and the classrooms locked at six. My phone buzzed as I reached the building, and I pulled it out as I went inside and headed towards my locker.

Hey Nina, it's Mara. Can you check the mailbox for me please, Jerome is waiting on a letter.

I decided not to point out that I already had Mara as a contact, and so the introduction was unnecessary. That was how she texted everyone.

Sure.

A 'thanks!' and a smiley face came back immediately.

I tucked the phone back in the pocket of my uniform jacket – a blessed addition thanks to Amber, who had organized a protest for them last year – as I reached my locker. I spun in the combination and pulled out a battered history notebook, clutching it to my chest protectively. "I knew I should've kept you in my backpack," I chided it, and shut my locker.

The mailboxes were in the main office, across from Mr. Sweet's. It was where all the mail for faculty and students was addressed, sorted by houses. Mara was in charge of picking ours up at the end of each school day, but Jerome was probably waiting on a packet of itching powder, or something else he was anxious to receive.

When I checked the Anubis box there was one letter and two large envelopes. I grabbed them all without looking and headed out, eager to get back and start studying. And also possibly make out with my boyfriend, who I loved, and who loved me. The thought made me smile and my lips start to tingle, and so I glanced down at the mail to distract myself, checking the addressees.

The small one was indeed for Jerome, and I didn't recognize the sender. Although I did send up a quick prayer it wasn't itching powder.

One of the large envelopes was for Joy, and the other was for Fabian, which wasn't too unusual. But then my eyes wandered up to the return address, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Better2Know. I'd heard about them last year, when Eddie had forced me to go with him once he and Patricia were stable. They were an STD testing service.

My pulse was thrumming incessantly in my ears, and my fingers were gripping the envelopes so hard I was surprised they hadn't ripped. Fabian had gotten tested. That by itself was fine, innocent, but add to it the fact that he apparently went with Joy and didn't tell me – my head wouldn't stop buzzing.

Stop it. I forced myself to take two deep breaths, my mouth feeling dry. There was a perfectly reasonable explanation, there had to be. Never mind that I'd felt like he was hiding something lately, never mind that I was literally holding the evidence.

Stop it.

I would go ask him about it. I would ask him about it and he would tell me the explanation and we would laugh at my paranoia and everything would be okay again.

I forced my feet to start moving, ignoring the sick feeling in my stomach. Before it had even seemed to start, the walk was over and I was back outside the house. No, I was in the entryway, and I could hear Fabian's voice coming from the kitchen, in a heated argument with Jerome. I took calm steps over to the table, only stopping when I was standing right next to him.

"No, listen, you can't just hack a self-driving car and send it off a cliff, that's not how it works." His voice was hot, but Jerome looked amused.

"I need to talk to you," I said, my voice low.

He heard me anyway, he always heard me. "In a minute," he said absently, not looking at me.

I slammed the mail down on the table with more force than I meant to, and everyone stopped talking but I refused to look at anyone but Fabian, who turned to me in confusion. "I need to talk to you, right now."

He glanced down at the mail, and his face turned an ashy shade of gray. He stood up without another word and followed me as I headed to his and Eddie's room. He shut the door behind us. "Nina —"

"Tell me you didn't do it." I could hear my voice like it was coming from very far away. "Tell me you didn't do it, and I'll believe you." Fabian didn't answer, but a devastated look came over his face, and I felt something in my chest crack. "Tell me you didn't sleep with her."

He shook his head. "Nina," was all he said, in a hoarse voice.

I was in the middle of the room and he was still by the door, but I took a step back. "You just have to say you didn't do it."

He took two steps towards me but stopped and ran helpless fingers through his hair, before he opened his mouth to speak the words it took me a few seconds to hear. "I can't."

I stared at him, waiting for him to say something else, to tell me he was lying, for myself to wake up. But all that happened was the silence stretched out until it was unbearable and he took another tentative step forward. "Nina, I am so, so sorry —"

"Oh you're SORRY?" My voice rose to a scream; it was all I could do to keep standing. "Sorry for which part exactly? The part where you cheated on me, or the part where you lied about it?"

"All of it," he whispered, voice somehow filling the room. "Everything."

I wanted to laugh or scream, and settled for a strangled sort of gasp that almost choked me on the way out. "You slept with her."

It wasn't even a question but he answered it anyway. "Once. When I was infected."

Lust. His deadly sin. The ground seemed to be spinning beneath my feet, or maybe that was just my world being ripped out from under me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It didn't mean anything —"

"It didn't MEAN ANYTHING?" I was screaming again. "If it didn't mean anything then why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you'd react like this —"

Fabian recognized his mistake as soon as the words left his mouth. "React like WHAT?" I demanded. "How exactly do you think I should be reacting upon finding out that you had sex with Joy Mercer, what do you think would be a reasonable reaction to that?"

"Nina I wasn't in my right mind when it happened, I regretted it as soon as the sin was gone." He looked distraught, his face a study in pain, I don't think I'd ever seen him this desperate. He took another few steps towards me. "Nina please."

I had no idea what he was pleading for but I knew I couldn't give it. "Stop looking at me like that," I demanded instead. He was only two or so steps away, far too close and not nearly close enough.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm breaking your heart!"

Fabian made a sort of shrugging gesture with his shoulders. "Well you are."

"Well you broke mine first!"

The door swung open, but neither of us moved.

"Hey guys." Eddie sounded like he wished he'd rather be anywhere else. "So. I understand you're having a very intense conversation right now, I just thought I'd let you know that we can all hear every word that you're saying, and so you might want to go somewhere more private."

Suddenly I couldn't breathe, the room was too small and Fabian was too close. I stepped around him and he made to grab my wrist, lips already shaping my name, but I whipped my hand back. "Don't touch me," I snapped, before tearing my eyes away.

I thought I should go upstairs, but I went back to the table first, walking over to the one person I blamed more than Fabian for this. He may not have been in his right mind when it happened, but she definitely had been. Joy was staring fixedly at a point on the table, the rest of them were entirely silent, not even Jerome or Alfie had something to say. My hand trembling a bit, I reached over to grab the full water pitcher, and dumped it on her head. Joy leapt to her feet with a cry of shock from the sudden cold of it.

"That was for being a complete and utter bitch to me for no reason ever since you met me," I told her, grateful when my voice held steady.

She looked up at me, and her expression was sorrowful, and somehow that was worse than smug. I slapped her.

I could hear a couple people gasp as Joy took a step back from the sheer force of it, hand going to her cheek. "That," and now my voice shook slightly, "was for sleeping with my boyfriend."

I didn't have anything else to say, I just turned and left, and then I was climbing the staircase as my cheeks grew wet, and now I was shutting my door behind me and sliding down it. I pressed my hands to my chest but then the bookshelf came crashing down and I immediately realized my mistake and pulled them apart, collapsing onto my bed as sobs began to wrack my body, and I'd cried before, but never like this. I clutched my pillow as I screamed into it, rocking back and forth slightly, running over all the signs I'd missed. He'd told me he was sorry right after he was cured, him staring at me with a guilty look on his face, being nicer than normal to me, his first reaction when I'd told him I loved him. But then he'd said it back. Fabian had told me he loved me, but how could he love me and lie about something like this?

The door opened and dear god please don't let it be him. Someone sat down next to me and began to calmly pull my hair back, and I recognized the hands as Amber's. As she finished her braid all I could do was scream and sob and gasp, my entire body shaking like a leaf. Amber sat there the whole time, well into the night, because every time I thought I was done a fresh wave of grief wracked my body.

All I could think about was Fabian, and Fabian and Joy, kissing, and then going further, doing more than he ever had with me. I wondered if some part of him had liked it, or if maybe he'd been secretly pining for her all this time and the trial of sins had given him the excuse he needed to act on it. Maybe he was a sociopath bent on ruining my life, and every moment since he'd meant me had been calculated with this goal in mind.

Oh god, the first time I saw him.

I still remembered it vividly, I went running after my driver, and crashed into someone, not seeing who it was. I'd turned around, already apologizing, and as the 'I'm so sorry' tumbled out of my mouth I felt something deep inside me click into place, as though my soul was whispering 'oh there you are.'

I kept waiting for Amber to tell me to sit up, or get over it, or defend him, but she said nothing, not until I was finally able to pull myself together enough to face her. My throat felt raw as I asked the one question that mattered. "Did you know?"

Amber shook her head. "I would've told you if I had."

That was apparently the extent of my self-control, and I started crying anew, but this time into Amber's shoulder, letting her help me through it.

AN: I have another multiple POV chapter coming out soon. I'm sure it will cause you even more pain than this one *upside down smiley face emoji*.

And a BIG shout out and thank you to invincibleironman, who basically inspired me to write for five straight hours to get this chapter up at 3:30 in the morning.

Favorite, follow and review please. Let me know whose POVs you'd like to see.