The Reckoning Part 2

Fabian:

I had most assuredly been through worse things in my life, but I couldn't think of any at the moment.

I readjusted the strap of my bag for the dozenth time and glanced over my shoulder to where Eddie and Patricia were conversing. Suck it up. Just suck it up and get it over with. I repeated the words over and over in my head, fixed my bag again and shut my locker with a sigh before heading over. Now that I'd had time to stew over what I'd done, I felt guilty every time I caught sight of the bruise on his face. One of us had to apologize, and since I'd thrown the first punch I knew it had to be me.

Eddie straightened up as he saw me, face tensing. "If you're looking for another ass-kicking I'll need a minute to find my boxing gloves."

Suck it up, suck it up. "I actually wanted to apologize."

He raised a single eyebrow. "And maybe some groveling if you're in the mood for it."

Patricia stepped on his foot and I shoved my hands in my pockets, lest I hit him again. "I was out of line earlier. And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hit you. Or said those things about your dad."

Eddie's expression remained unchanged for one, two, three seconds, and then he sighed. "Ah, hell. I'm sorry too. I know you've been going through it lately. And sometimes I really hate that you're such a decent person, because it makes it really hard to hold a grudge."

I grinned. "We good?"

"Yeah we're good." He pulled me into a brief hug and clapped me on the back. "What good is a friendship if it can't survive a fistfight or two."

"Boys," muttered Patricia in a distinctly disgusted tone of voice as Amber walked over.

"Hey do you guys remember the beginning of the year, we had that talk about code phrases?" She asked with zero introduction.

"Umm," I racked my brain. "Vaguely."

"Why? What's up?" Eddie asked.

"Nina hasn't come back from detention yet. I texted to ask where she is and all she sent me was this." Amber flipped her phone around to show us the screen. I leaned in to see the last message from Nina was pepper.

"Did you ask what she meant?" said Patricia.

"Of course I did, I'm not an idiot," snapped Amber. "I've texted her more but she hasn't sent anything back. I went to go check detention and she was gone."

"Did Ms. Abbott say where she went?" I asked.

Amber shook her head. "No, she was gone too."

"Well did you –"

But before Eddie could finish his question, he cut himself off with a choked gasp, falling backwards into the lockers, his hands scrabbling at his throat.

Patricia grabbed for Eddie, steadying him. "Eddie?" Her voice was considerably more high-pitched than normal. "What's wrong? What's happening?"

His dazed look sharpened into one of intense focus. "Nina." The word was barely out of his mouth before he tore down the hall and out of the building. Patricia and Amber and I looked at each other, and promptly dashed after him.

It wasn't particularly fair to say I was out of shape when I was fairly sure I'd never been in shape in my life. Add to that fact Eddie running like a man possessed, and it was hard to keep up. Patricia was next to me, but Amber lagged further behind. "Amber come on!" Patricia yelled.

"These shoes were not made for sprinting!" Amber called back.

Eddie went directly for the woods, but just as he was about to enter the trees he vanished into thin air.

I slammed to a stop, nearly tripping over my own feet. "How did he just – where did he go?" I looked to Patricia but she shook her head, breathing hard, and cautiously made her way over to where her boyfriend had disappeared. I waited for Amber to catch up before following.

We reached the place he'd vanished and looked around for anything out of place; maybe a hole in the ground had swallowed him up and we'd missed it.

"What's this?"

I turned at Amber's question to see her looking intently at what appeared to be nothing. "What's what?"

She pointed determinedly at the air. "This," she repeated.

I moved over to where she was standing, hoping for a better angle, and that's when I saw it. A slight ripple in the air, so faint that had I not been looking for it, I would've brushed it off as a trick of the light. About two meters tall and half as wide, it nearly resembled a doorway. Warily, I stuck my hand through and gasped sharply as it vanished.

"Do we go through it?" asked Amber.

Patricia snorted as she dropped her bag on the ground. "I think we're past that point don't you?" She walked through without waiting for an answer. Hoping we'd find Nina safe and sound on the other side, I allowed myself a single, bracing breath as Amber and I dropped our own bags and followed.

Patricia:

Whatever portal, barrier, hole-between-dimensions I'd crossed through, I might not have realized it at all if not for the lack of Fabian and Amber. It still looked exactly as though I were standing in the middle of school grounds. Well, except for Eddie in front of me, banging on thin air. I ran up to him. "Eddie, what the hell is going on?" I demanded.

But he didn't seem to hear me. I raised a hand to see what he was pressed up against, and met resistance where there appeared to be nothing but air. I pressed harder, and then I punched it, but the barrier held firm.

"Who are they?" asked Amber shrilly. I looked over to see her and Fabian on the other side of Eddie, staring past the barrier. I'd been so focused on Eddie I'd neglected to see what he was looking at, but now I adjusted my gaze and saw two figures. A massive woman nearly twice my height, with swampy green skin and ebony hair, faced off against a second, smaller figure in a crimson cloak. The taller one wielded two large axes, and every time she swiped them through the air sizzling arcs of black energy shot out the ends at the cloaked one. But they crossed their hands over their chest before throwing their arms out, putting up some sort of red shield that the black energy broke against.

"Yeah, Eddie, who are they?" I echoed.

Again he didn't seem to hear me, but thankfully Fabian did. "The green one is Beset," he said. If I didn't know better I'd say he almost sounded awestruck. "I recognize her from Nina's descriptions."

Beset suddenly leapt up into the air, twirling over herself and bringing down her axes to slam them into the ground. Twin bolts of black energy sliced through the ground, knocking back the second person with enough force to send them flying into a tree. They hit the trunk so hard I expected to hear a crack and dropped to the ground. As they raised their head, the hood fell back and I clapped my hands over my mouth as I saw who it was.

Eddie pounded on the barrier once more. "Nina!"

Nina:

I raised my head in time to see Beset leap high in the air, at least twenty feet, and come barreling down at me.

I crossed my wrists and threw my hands out, letting my magic block her. I could feel the painful throbbing in my skull increase as I sustained it, my late night sessions with Isis hadn't been enough to prepare me for this. I was running low on heka, and if I didn't get out of here fast I'd end up dead.

Beset hammered my shield with her axes, gnashing her teeth with fury. I dug deep and changed the shield into a spear, letting it launch her into the ceiling of whatever dome she'd dropped on us. I turned and ran towards where I'd come in but did a double-take at what, or rather who, I saw on the other side. Eddie, Patricia, Amber, and Fabian. All of them. There they were, banging on the walls, lips moving frantically. I ignored the aching in my legs as I ran over to them and pressed my hands where Eddie's were. "Get me out of here!" I cried, but he shook his head in confusion and my heart sank. As much as I couldn't hear them, they couldn't hear me.

I suddenly realized if I survived this I would have to explain how this situation had come to be and swore. Isis was going to kill me if Beset didn't. I jumped as Eddie slammed his hands down at me. Duck! I may not have heard the word from his mouth, but it echoed loudly in my mind. Without pausing to think I threw myself out of the way, and another of Beset's attacks crashed into where I'd just been standing. I rolled to my feet and dove behind a large boulder, breathing hard and closed my eyes. I could do this. I cast my mind back to Isis' teachings, letting myself fall backwards into the shadows.

I stood and ran soundlessly away from my hiding spot as Beset rounded the rock I'd been pressed against. "Enough games Chosen One!" Her voice sounded like rocks crashing together. "Come face your destiny."

Fat chance of that, I thought grimly, considering by destiny she most likely meant dying. I looked over to where Eddie was pressing his hands against the barrier, eyes screwed shut. If I could just get to him I could draw on his energy to bolster my strength, and then maybe hold my own long enough to get out of here. But he was on the outside and I was on my own. I hoped if it all started going downhill he'd have the sense to get the others out.

"There you are."

Black energy slammed into me, lifting me off the ground. The pain that came with it was all-encompassing and I screamed at the sensation, as though my bones were catching on fire. It was worse than any pain I'd ever experienced, worse than getting shot. All I could do was scream as the magic squeezed tighter, writhing around in her crushing grip.

Eventually she dropped me and I hit the ground hard, tears streaming down my face as I gasped in breath. It felt as though my body had been sawed apart and stitched back together.

Beset advanced once more, merciless. "Give me the Book!" She raised her axes once more but this time I was ready and raised my own hands.

Our magic crashed together with the force of an avalanche, shoving us both backwards. It felt as though glass was embedded in my lungs but I grit my teeth and kept going. Isis' warning echoed in my ears. Whatever you do, don't fight her head on. You're not ready. Oops. Too late to back down now, all I could do was keep pouring out magic, drawing on a rapidly dwindling supply of heka. I felt something warm begin to run down my nose and went cold. I was pushing myself too far.

The momentary panic was all it took to distract me. My magic faltered briefly and Beset's surged forwards like a wave, ripping through me and throwing me back. My body screamed in pain as I hit the ground, hardly able to move. I blinked rapidly, and without knowing what I was even looking for my eyes found Fabian's.

He had sunk down to his knees and was staring at me, his body a picture of desperation, his mouth moving as he said words I couldn't hear. And even though there was no hope to be had I knew one thing only, beyond fear or reason. I would not die on the ground, too weak to stand. I would not make Fabian watch my execution. If I died it would be up on my feet, giving more than what I had.

Ignoring the screaming of my muscles and the burning in my eyes, ignoring Beset bearing down on me once more I dragged myself to my knees.

Eddie:

Get to Nina. There was a burning sensation at the base of my skull, the barrier was cool beneath my palms, and the rest of the world had melted away. I had only one thought, one purpose. Get to Nina. She was on the ground, struggling to her feet, as Beset continuously advanced on her, spinning her axes leisurely. Get to Nina. The burning in my skull built to an inferno before vanishing as I fell forward.

I nearly fell over from the sudden lack of barrier, and looked down to see my palms glowing blue. My body moved separate from conscious thought as my arm rose, my hand turned outward, and a blast of blue energy knocked into Beset, throwing her into a tree.

My brain split in two, ten percent having a seizure over the fact that I'd somehow turned into the Doctor Manhattan to Nina's Scarlet Witch, the other ninety percent zeroing in on Nina as I ran towards her. "Are you all right?" I held out a still glowing hand as she stared at me in shock. "Nina, come on. We've got to get out of here."

She took my hand and stood shakily. "But how did you get through…" her voice trailed off in disbelief.

I looked over my shoulder and realized the barrier was still standing, I'd just managed to pass through. "We'll focus on that later. All that matters is if I can get you back out again."

"NO!" The shriek ripped towards us and Nina threw up a hand, an attack of black energy shattering against her shield.

Nina swiped at her nose and I saw she was bleeding gold. Probably best to let her focus and point that out later. She turned to me and gripped my hands with a vice-like strength. "Eddie, I need to borrow some of your strength. Will you lend it to me?"

Would I lend it to her? This girl I loved, to whom I would give anything, whom I had been made to protect? "Take it."

There was a sudden tugging sensation in my chest, as though the life were being sucked out of me with a vacuum. But the weaker I got, the stronger Nina seemed to become. Tendrils of red energy circled her feet, rising to envelop her legs, her arms, her head. Her hair spread out behind her head, her entire body wreathed in light, and when she opened her eyes they were crimson, and she was crying tears of gold.

Beset loosed a howl of rage and a torrent of black energy came raging towards us, but Nina lifted one of her own hands and fired off her own bolt of red.

They met in the middle and the sound barrier shattered with a crash of thunder. Black and red mixed together; unable to push ahead the energy had nowhere to go but up and it rocketed into the ceiling of the dome and spread out to surround us.

I felt something salty on my lips, and when I brought a hand up to it I realized my own nose was bleeding. Probably not a good sign, but at least my blood was red. The maelstrom of black and crimson filled up everything, all I could do was hold on tight to Nina's hand, giving her whatever strength I had.

The tugging sensation in my chest built higher, it was starting to hurt. But if Nina could fight then I could stand, so I locked my jaw and squeezed my grip on her tighter, letting my strength flow into her like a river. Please, I prayed, not sure who I was hoping would be listening. Please let it be enough.

Fabian:

After Eddie had somehow melted through the barrier, the rest of us had tried to follow but to no avail. And now all I could do was watch as Nina and Eddie were swallowed up in the storm of red and black, pounding my fists against whatever was keeping me from reaching her. I'd screamed her name so loud my voice was going hoarse, but I doubted she could hear me anymore if she ever could. There was a howling inside the dome on par with a tornado, I couldn't even hear Patricia and Amber screaming next to me.

Without warning, there was the sound of a thousand gunshots as the barrier shattered.

The force of it knocked us backwards and my head smacked into the ground. I winced, unable to move as wind screamed over us, the barrier flying like glass through the air.

It was over in an instant, replaced with a silence so sudden I feared I might have gone deaf, and snapped my fingers next to my ear to make sure I retained my hearing.

Slowly, I stood up, and reached towards the place where seconds ago I'd felt unyielding resistance. Now there was nothing. I looked desperately around for Nina, searching for where she and Eddie had been standing, and a cold fist closed around my heart.

I ran forwards to where Eddie was kneeling on the ground, Nina's head on his legs. The cloak she'd been wearing dissolved into nothing as I watched, leaving her in her school uniform and looking infinitely more vulnerable. I dropped down next to Eddie. "What's wrong with her?" I demanded. It was only then that I realized there was gold leaking out of her eyes and nose.

"I don't know." He sounded exhausted. "She just collapsed."

Belatedly, I looked around for Beset but she was gone. And then I looked around again, because our surroundings were beginning to warp strangely, as though I was looking at them through a veil of heat.

"Eddie I'm going to murder you later," Patricia threatened as she and Amber came over. "Now come on, we have to get out of here. This place is going to vanish, and I'd rather not be inside it when it does."

She hauled Eddie to his feet as I looped one arm beneath Nina's legs and the other behind her shoulders. As I stood the ground began to waver beneath our feet and I nearly fell over again, moving as fast as I could towards the spot we'd come in through. Was I hallucinating, or was it getting smaller as the world came apart? I quickened my steps, Patricia and Amber doing their best to drag Eddie as quickly as they could.

The world continued to fall apart around us, trees twisting and folding in on themselves, the ground continuously bucking as the sky began to swirl ominously. Feeling as though I might be sick if I kept looking, I fixed my eyes firmly on the doorway. It couldn't be more than thirty steps away. Twenty-five.

A low, keening sort of moan began to emanate from the wind, raising the hair on the back of my neck. Twenty. Eighteen. Fourteen.

The moan built to a shriek as the wind began to pull at us, determined to keep us from the door. Nine. Six.

Just as we managed to hurl ourselves through the door the ground vanished beneath my feet. I tripped as I landed on the other side, clutching Nina protectively, and looked up just in time to see the doorway swirl into nothing. I whipped my head around, looking for the others, and heaved a sigh of relief when I saw they'd all made it out okay before returning my attention to Nina.

"Nina? Nina darling, wake up. You have to wake up." I gripped her wrist, searching for some sign of a pulse, and wiped the smears of gold off her face. A metallic tang hit my nose and I realized they weren't tears, as I had thought, but blood. "Nina, wake up." I raised my eyes to Eddie. "What the hell happened in there?"

He shook his head back and forth. "I dunno." His voice was thick with exhaustion. "Wasn't exactly… in control."

"She's dying."

The words burrowed inside my chest, threatening to rip me apart with such vigor that at first I didn't stop to look for who had said them. When I did, my jaw fell open. A woman as tall as Beset had materialized in front of us, only this one looked decidedly less aggressive. Instead of green, her skin was a pale, icy blue, and her hair fell down her back in a stark white sheet. Amber gasped.

"I know you!" she declared. "You're Isis aren't you? You came to see Nina that one time."

"I have come to see the Chosen One many times," she said. Her voice had a strange echoing quality, as though there were five of her speaking. "But it seems I have not done enough. Without interference she is not long for this world."

The ground started to tilt beneath me and I clutched Nina tightly, as though I could keep her here through sheer force of will. "So help her!" I yelled. "You're a spirit, or a goddess, or something aren't you? You have powers of your own, so use them to save her!"

Isis shook her head. "I can only meddle so much in your affairs. If she is to be saved it will have to be his doing." She pointed to Eddie.

He blinked a few times, struggling to focus. "Can't. She, Nina, she… m'strength. I gave it to her. All of it."

Isis floated over to him, feet barely brushing the ground. "My dear Osirian," she crooned. "You have accomplished nothing short of remarkable. Your desire to protect was so deep, so intense, you willed your magic to activate. Do you know what a feat that is?" She placed her hands on his shoulders and his body began to glow, suffused with a bluish-white light once more. "The strength is within you. All you have to do is use it."

Nina:

I always loved it when my mom braided my hair.

Her fingers were strong but soft as she manipulated the strands with a certainty born from years of practice. "All done." She pressed a kiss to my cheek, and turned my chair so I was facing the bathroom mirror. "What do you think?"

I smiled, running my fingers along the tight braids. "I love it." I hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go, and we just sat there. The feel of my mother's arms around me made me want to cry, though I didn't know why.

"Nina darling, wake up."

I frowned, drawing back. "What?"

Her forehead furrowed in concern. "What is it?"

"Come on Nina, you have to wake up. You have to fight it."

I gripped my mom tighter, suddenly very afraid to let go. "Did you hear that?"

She smoothed a hand across my cheek, smiling lovingly. "Hear what?"

"Nina, love, you have to wake up, please, please, please wake up."

Something in my chest seemed to tighten and I pulled her close once more. "I love you," I whispered.

I didn't have time to hear her say it back as my mother dissolved beneath my touch and the world around me shattered into black.

I wasn't in my parent's bathroom, in my childhood home, I wasn't anywhere. I was floating, adrift, in a sea of nothing.

Let me go, I wanted to scream. Let me be with my parents.

"Nina, you're stronger than this. Wake up!"

I knew that voice. I grabbed onto it and pulled.

Fabian:

Nina's eyes snapped open and for the briefest second they glowed bright red. But then the red faded away as she gasped awake, chest heaving.

A strangled sound tore its way out of my chest and I clutched her to me. "Oh God, Nina, oh Nina, oh you're alive, oh my God you're alive." I drew back to look at her, to drink in the sight of her, cupping her face and then hugged her close once more. I'd be damned if I was ever letting her go again.

Eddie fell back on his heels, the glow in his hands fading away. "Why does my nose keep doing this," he complained, wiping away blood once more.

Isis knelt between him and Nina and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "These powers were not meant for mortal hands. It will take time to train your body to accept them, and even then you will have limits. When I am able to return, you may accompany the Chosen One to our practices."

"Right," Patricia deadpanned. "Your practices. Because Nina and Eddie can do magic. And we're only learning about this now because?" This last part was directed at the girl in my arms, who muttered something into my neck.

I drew back to let her answer. "I wasn't supposed to tell you," Nina defended herself. Her voice was shaky but she seemed otherwise unharmed. "And if I had, how would that conversation have gone exactly? 'Yeah I'm off to magic practice with an ancient Egyptian goddess.' 'Have fun, don't forget about the French test tomorrow.'" She made a face. "You would've had me committed."

"But you couldn't even tell me?" Amber sounded insulted. "I am your roommate."

"I wasn't supposed to tell anyone," Nina repeated.

"Traditionally, these two would not be able to access their powers until the age of twenty-five," explained Isis. "I wanted to contain the knowledge that the Chosen One could use hers, lest Beset find out. It was an advantage in a fight where we have few."

Nina leaned into my chest. "What she said."

"But then how come you're able to use yours already?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know because she –" she glared at Isis "– won't tell me. But considering the fact that I'm not dead I guess I can't complain too much." My grip on her tightened.

"Barely not dead," said Isis reproachfully. She held her thumb and forefinger apart by a sliver. "You are not dead by that much. Hopefully this will inspire you to take your lessons more seriously?"

Nina scowled. "Really? You're choosing now for an 'I told you so' moment?"

"I can hardly think of a better time for an 'I told you so' moment," Isis replied smugly.

Nina rolled her eyes. "I liked you a lot better before you picked up sarcasm."

Isis smiled with an unnatural amount of teeth before her form rippled and she winced. "I have been on this plane too long," she sighed. "I must return to my own."

"How are you even here?" Nina asked. "You said you wouldn't be able to cross over for another few weeks."

Isis gestured to where the doorway had been. "Beset is getting desperate. She tore open a new doorway between worlds in order to access her full power, and as such I was able to cross over for a brief amount of time." A frown creased her face. "She should know better."

"Why?" asked Patricia. "What could've happened?"

Isis shook her head. "A problem for another day. I must depart, but I will return as soon as the stars allow it." She kissed two of her fingers and pressed them to Nina's forehead, and then Eddie's. "Stay safe my children." And with that her body unwound into nothing more than a blue tinge on the wind, and soon enough that faded too.

"Well then," said Amber in announcement sort of voice. "Now that that's over." She lunged at Nina and started smacking her with her hands, the blows punctuated by shrill words. "Don't! You! Ever! Scare! Me! Like! That! Ever! Again! Ever!"

Nina shrieked at the onslaught and shrunk into me, raising her hands to fend the blonde girl off. "Okay I'm sorry! Just please stop hitting me!"

Amber withdrew her hands and rose to her feet, pacing back and forth. "You text the code word and then go radio silent, and when we finally find you you're engaged in some sort of magical tête a tête with a green giant, trapped in some sort of Hunger Games arena that you then blow up with your shiny impressive magical powers, you're bleeding gold and unconscious, some new magic giant shows up to announce you're dying, and you're sorry?"

Nina blinked. "I'm very sorry."

Amber made a shrill sound of exasperation before dropping back down to tug Nina away from me and tightly hug her. "You're forgiven but I'm still mad."

Patricia pointed at Amber while glaring at Eddie. "Literally everything she just said, but directed at you."

He scowled. "I didn't even do anything!" She smacked him.

I grabbed Nina's hand. "You're really all right?"

She smiled at me. "I'm fine. I promise. But," she added as an afterthought, "the crazy green lady broke my phone. So there is that."

"She broke it?" Eddie repeated.

"In half, with her bare hands." Nina mimed snapping something in two. "It was very intimidating." With Amber's help she managed to stand, although she swayed slightly. I reached out to steady her but froze as all of a sudden reality came crashing back. Joy. The sin. I clenched my hands into fists and shoved them in my pockets, feeling like I'd swallowed molten lead. I wasn't allowed to touch her like that anymore.

Eddie walked over to where Nina's bag was lying discarded on the ground and picked it up. "All I ask," he was saying, and I realized I'd missed them speaking, "is that the next time you do a magical duel to the death where I'm required to save you, I get some advance warning first."

I followed robotically, ignoring Patricia's strange looks. Nina had asked me for time, and in my panic over the thought of losing her, I'd forgotten the request. I'd probably been suffocating her and she was just too polite to say anything. If I was going to give her what she'd asked for, I would need to put serious physical distance between us. I raked my eyes over her form, grateful beyond measure that she was alive. As long as she was safe, I could give her whatever she needed from me. The train we had been going to take to my parent's for winter break left tomorrow, and I'd overheard Nina mention making arrangements to stay with Amber. Hopefully when I returned in January, we'd be able to start to fix things.

Nina:

When I woke up the next morning it took a solid two minutes before I managed to pry my eyes open. Every single part of my body ached, including parts I hadn't even known could hurt like the space between my toes.

There was also a disgusting taste in my mouth, so the first thing I did after managing to drag myself out of bed was brush and floss my teeth. I went back to get dressed and saw to my shock that it was almost five o'clock in the afternoon. As soon as we got back to the house around six last night I'd gone straight to bed and crashed.

I pulled on jeans and a comfy tee shirt and walked downstairs, positively starving. Patricia and Eddie were in the kitchen, warring over the last bit of peanut butter when they saw me. "Hey Sleeping Beauty," Eddie grinned. "Nice to see you've finally decided to grace us with your presence."

Patricia took advantage of his distraction to spread the peanut butter on her toast and he squawked in displeasure. "Rude!"

She chucked the empty jar at his head. "You snooze you lose," she gloated. "Morning Nina. Or I guess good afternoon."

"Afternoon," I grinned, feeling slightly embarrassed as I walked over to dig out some frozen Eggo's. I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept for so long. "Where is everybody?"

"Trudy's at the store, Amber and Alfie are in his room on a movie date, and Fabian left about an hour ago."

I popped two in the toaster. "Where'd he go?" I did my best to sound nonchalant.

"He went back home for winter break," said Eddie.

Something funny must've been going on with my hearing because the words bounced around for a few seconds before settling in my brain. I jerked around. "Wait, he what?"

Eddie nodded. He and Patricia were now busy wrestling over a single packet of popcorn. "Yeah about a couple hours ago." He tickled her neck and she let go with a shriek before lunging after him. Eddie danced away from her, holding his prize far above her head. "Did you want to talk to him?"

My mouth tasted funny again, and this time I was pretty sure it wasn't the sleep. "No," I forced myself to say. "No I just thought he didn't leave until tomorrow is all." Liar. I left my food in the toaster and walked dazedly back upstairs, pacing around the room in circles.

Fabian had left. He was gone. He hadn't even said goodbye.

I wrapped my arms around myself, swallowing back my frustration. We weren't even together anymore, it was hardly my business when and where he went places. And I'd been sleeping. He probably just hadn't wanted to wake me up. Or, an insidious little voice in my brain whispered, he got fed up with you and this is his way of getting a nice clean break.

I smacked myself in the head right as Amber walked in, causing her to look at me very strangely. "Uh, Neens? Do I need to add hearing voices to your list of magical happenings?"

I stared at her, not really hearing what she'd said. "Fabian left."

She nodded. "Yeah, a little while ago."

"He didn't even say goodbye." For some reason this was the part that had stuck with me. Everything that had happened yesterday had made me realize how stupid I was being, and how sorry I was for blaming him for something so beyond his control. The way he'd been clinging to me when I woke up had made me think maybe he was still open to working things out. But if he hadn't even bothered to say goodbye? "He didn't say goodbye," I repeated.

Amber nodded again, looking at me as though she were worried I had a concussion. "Which is bad?"

"I wanted to talk to him." To attempt to beg forgiveness.

"So go and talk to him," said Amber. Like it was that easy.

"Amber." I spread my hands. "He left."

"Yeah, so follow him," she said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe it was? No. No way. I shook my head.

"He's already back by now, he's not expecting me, I can't just show up at his house and ask to talk to him."

"Why not? You were planning on spending break together anyway before the whole blah Joy blah debacle weren't you?" Amber pressed. "What does it matter if you get there a few hours after him?"

It mattered a great deal, but all I needed was to talk to him, to apologize, and the fact that he had left without even telling me he was going was driving me to levels of insanity previously unreached by humankind, making me consider doing things I never would've contemplated under normal circumstances. "I couldn't," I hedged, chewing my lip. I glanced at Amber uncertainly. "Could I?"

She smiled. "I'll help you pack."

It took an hour to shove my things in a suitcase before changing into a cuter shirt and jean jacket, and then I had to wait another hour before even calling a taxi since the next train didn't leave until a quarter to nine. When I reached the station I stopped at Starbucks for a grilled cheese which I ate on the hour-long train ride. Even though I was starving I only managed to swallow small bites at a time, my stomach a coiled knot of nerves as I imagined worse case scenarios. What if he didn't want to see me? What if he slammed the door in my face? What if he realized how incredibly, absurdly selfish I'd been acting these past few weeks and didn't want to have anything to do with me ever again?

By the time we reached his station, I nearly got right back on a different train back to school. Instead I flagged down a cab and spent the next twenty minutes bouncing my leg in the backseat, fighting off a panic attack as rain poured outside. The cab stopped in front of a large, brown brick house, and my fingers shook as I handed him the bills.

I grabbed my suitcase and ran to the front door, watching as my escape drove away. A small awning covered the front porch, meaning I at least wasn't getting soaked as I chickened out. I stared at the front door, willing myself to knock on it, but somehow unable to raise my hand. Unsure if I was shaking from nerves or the cold, I paced back and forth, folding my arms. This was a mistake. This was most definitely a mistake, and I should leave now and try to maintain what dignity I could. Unfortunately the taxi was gone and I didn't have a phone to call a new one, which meant my only two options were walk down the street in the pouring rain until I found one, or knock on the door. I was seriously contemplating the first one when there was a clap of thunder and lightning split the sky.

"Knock on the door," I muttered to myself. "Just make a fist and knock." At the very least I had faith that he was a gracious enough human to let me crash for the night before sending me back.

I raised a hand, dropped it, and kicked my suitcase in frustration. At least I'd meant to kick my suitcase, but forgot the fact that I'd been pacing and kicked the door instead. I jumped at the loud bang and rapidly knocked three more times to cover it up.

No one answered at first, and I was just working on convincing myself that maybe I'd gotten the address wrong when the door swung open.

Fabian was on the other side, staring at me, mouth slightly agape. My heart stuttered a little in my chest at how perfect he looked. "Nina?" My name sounded dazed, as though he thought he might be imagining me.

Mustering up what little courage I possessed, I managed a weak sort of smile. "Surprise."

Yeah. I know. I am the literal worst. On the bright side it took me less than a year this time. You would think being under quarantine would make me more productive, but no, it just gave me more ways to procrastinate. Stay safe everybody, see you when I see you.