A/N: Sorry it took me a while to get this one out in the open, real life always intervenes.

I hope you'll enjoy this one nonetheless!

Chapter 11

Meredith takes off her scrub cap, sighing as she sees her resident move to update the family and tell them that Mr. Higgs will live to see his grandson being born. She's emotionally drained, or she would have done it herself. She knows they will have too many questions, questions she's not ready to answer just now.

The surgery has been long and tricky at times, and she really needs something sugary to eat to feel human again. Piles of paperwork await her, she'll answer questions when she'll go check on Mr. Higgs later.

The coffee cart is a beacon of hope, and the bagels there look perfect, even if they are the healthy ones with all kinds of grains on top. If they have salmon bagels she might keel over and start weeping.

Yeah, her flare for the dramatic is pretty strong after a seven-hour surgery, but she blames her tired, overworked body.

She hasn't slept well in the past few days, since David Shepherd asked her to take him to school and she held his hand, the memories of how strong and soft his fingers felt into hers bringing her back to a dark place she thought she had gotten over, but yet she's still knee-deep into it. A dark place she doesn't want to revise anytime soon. All the same, she has no idea how to say away from David. The kid has wormed his way into her heart.

Meredith pays for the salmon bagel and sits on the closest bench she can find, relishing the tepid September sun in the cafeteria courtyard. She closes her eyes and moans at the first morsel, the taste and texture of the salmon exploding in her mouth, together with the cream cheese and the lettuce.

She hears a child-like giggle next to her that forces her eyes open. Her mouth gapes open.

"Hi, Meredith!" little David Shepherd says, waving his hand genuinely, his eyes sparkling, his smile bright and mischievous.

"Hi, David," she gulps, studying the boy, looking around to prepare herself for the arrival of Shepherd or his mother or someone else taking care of the boy.

"What are you eating?" he asks.

"Salmon bagel," she replies, looking down at her maimed bagel before taking another bite out of habit, still too stunned to process what she's doing.

"Salmon like the fish?" he prods.

"Yep," she says around her last bite. "Do you like it?"

"Dunno," David shrugs. "I never tasted it. Is it yummy?"

"Really yummy," she smiles. "Do you want to try a bite?"

David makes a face, tapping his chin with his index finger in a way that is both adorable and irresistible, before he says: "Dunno."

Meredith giggles. "Where is your dad? I think he already knows if you like salmon or not."

"He's working."

"And your Nana?"

"Home."

Meredith frowns. "Who's here with you?"

"Daddy gots to work for a little more and I'm waiting. I supposed to stay with Nurse Rose but she was eating licorice and she smelled funny."

"I see," she nods, understanding the situation. Of course the boy escaped from the care of a nurse. "Do you want to find your dad?"

"He's gotta work," he shrugs, though he's still eyeing the bagel in her hand with hunger. Meredith looks are her watch and notices that it's already dinner time.

"Are you hungry?"

"Kinda," he sighs, but she knows he's downplaying it.

"You know what? Try a bite of my bagel, I'll buy you another if you like it."

David grins as he accepts the piece of bagel she tears from the unbitten half. Meredith watches as the boy munches on the morsel for a moment, swirling the treat around his mouth before he smiles triumphantly.

"I love it!" he exclaims, grinning brightly.

Meredith stands up and buys two other bagels right away. She knows she won't say no to another half bagel by the time she's back in her office, doing paperwork, and David looks famished.

They sit on the bench quietly as they both finish their dinner, Meredith buying juice boxes for both of them. David giggles a lot while she sips from the straw, and Meredith loves how his eyes twinkle as the sun starts to set. David updates her on his first days in kindergarten, sounding happy and excited about everything, and she basks into his happiness, allowing it to relax her.

"Alright," she says when their bagels have been demolished, only the oily wrappings remaining. "I have some paperwork to do, do you want to come to my office and color with me? I'll make sure Daddy will be able to find you when he's done working."

"Cool!" he grins. "I love coloring!"

Meredith sighs in relief, throwing away her trash in the right recycling bin before they both walk side by side in direction of her office. She leaves a note for Shepherd at the nurses' station about David's whereabouts, then leads the boy to her office.

David launches himself on the office chair, giggling as he spins around while she gathers her paperwork.

"Tell you what, you stay in the chair, I'll do my paperwork on the other side," she grins back, enjoying the boy's smile too much to have him move.

"Uncle Mark has a fun chair like this," David explains, spinning and spinning.

"I know," she grins. "I've seen his office."

"He has lots of pictures I made him. Do you want a picture, too?"

"I would love one." She smiles softly as David nods seriously while he studies the blank sheet of paper in front of him.

"What's your favorite animal?"

Her eyes widen. "What about you draw me your favorite?" she deadpans, and David grins brightly.

"I love lions. They are so brave!"

"Lions are great," she smiles, finding some old colored pencils she uses to underline her journal articles, then putting them in front of David.

David doesn't mind that there are only four colors for him to work with, he takes his drawing very seriously, his focused frown something Meredith can't help but stare at for a full minute before she tears her eyes away and focuses on her paperwork.

Her attention is often pulled away from the charts as David starts humming a song under his breath. She doesn't know the tune, but she bites back a smile either way. This kid is a hoot.

The next time she looks up though, David is spinning again on the chair, the drawing forgotten, as engrossed as he is in spinning faster and faster.

It all happens in a second. David spins a little too forcefully and the chair tips forward.

Meredith jumps up and catches the boy before he can fall with his teeth on the desk, bringing him close to her chest as the chair clatters in the fall.

The air in the room shifts. David's eyes widen and Meredith holds her breath. Then she remembers about the SPD and her heart shatters in her chest.

David scrambles away from her lap and hides under her desk, curled up in the farthest corner.

"David?" she murmurs softly, as his first sob breaks through the air. "Are you okay?"

David keeps sobbing and shaking his head, tearing her heart in two.

"David, are you hurt? What happened?"

"Go 'way!" he hiccups. "Daddy!" he howls, hiding even more in the shade of the desk.

"I don't want to hurt you," she tells him quietly, crouching on the floor at a safe distance. David only crawls away from her, wrapping himself up in a ball.

Meredith can only see the boy's eyes, filled with tears, peeking from his knees as he tries to hide and rocks back and forth, his sobs echoing in the room.

"Daddy," he hiccups. "I wan' Daddy," he sniffs, tears streaming down his face.

"He's coming," she tells him quietly, fidgeting with her pager to page Shepherd. She hopes he's done with his surgery by now, because she's at a loss. "Daddy is coming."

"Daddy," he cries out, his voice muffled by the fabric of the jeans he's crying into.

"He'll be here in no time," she says, knowing her voice is shaking, and yet trying to manage to act normal around him, so that he doesn't feel too self-conscious.

David's sobs relent the more they sit under the desk, but the tears keep coming eagerly, and Meredith has no idea what to do aside from monitoring him and letting him exhaust himself.

She glances at her watch, noticing that fifteen minutes have passed from her page. It's already dark out, being a little after nine in the evening, but she doesn't have the courage to move and switch on the light. The glimmer coming from the small window will have to suffice.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, and David hiccups. "I'm so sorry, David."

David sniffs loudly, passing the back of his hand under his nose and wiping away his snot.

The door slams open and Derek Shepherd bursts in, switching on the light and freezing at the threshold.

"What happened?" he asks, his voice trying to mask his panic, unsuccessfully.

"Daddy!" David exclaims, his eyes widening, though he seems frozen under the desk.

Meredith looks up to meet his eyes, unable to keep her voice from shaking. "I grabbed him. He was about to fall from the chair and I grabbed him and…"

Derek nods, worming his way under the desk, as Meredith crawls away. The space is way too narrow in the darkness for a grown man, but Shepherd manages to fit there. He sits in silence for a moment, staring straight ahead, his body a breath away from David's.

"I'm going to make a burrito out of you, okay?" he murmurs, turning to look into David's eyes. The little boy nods eagerly.

Derek's arms envelop the boy's frame completely. David crawls into his lap and rests there, holding tightly onto his father, as he squishes him just as tightly. Meredith can see the tension leak out of David, his sobs disappearing after a few minutes into deep but even breaths. She's not sure how can Derek keep from crushing his son into that firm hold, but it seems like they have found the perfect balance.

"Burrito," David murmurs, sounding out of it already, his voice muffled by the fabric of Derek's scrubs.

"The tightest burrito," Derek murmurs into his hair, David's fingers digging into his skin, probably leaving marks. Yet, Derek doesn't care.

Meredith watches father and son embrace for what feels like forever, something in her heart breaking and healing at the same time, even though it awakens the same dull ache all over again.

Slowly, Derek's hold loosens, David's body looking completely limp by the time Derek starts to rub the boy's back in circles. Their gazes lock when he takes a deep breath.

"God," he breathes out, his voice shaking.

"I'm sorry," she repeats, unsure what she should say in the first place, or if she should say anything at all.

"No, I am sorry. I should have been the one looking after him. Not a nurse, not you. He's my responsibility," he says, shaking his head, kissing the boy's head. From the deep breaths echoing from his chest she gathers that David exhausted himself to the point of sleep and her heart aches for the little boy.

"I had no idea what to do, but I don't mind looking after him."

"Dr. Grey, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she sighs. "He's a wonderful boy."

"He is," Derek gulps, his eyes watery. "God, he is."

She feels for him, and she has no idea why she feels the immense urge to take away all his pain, to figure out a way to put the wonderful smile he has on his face and on David's.

"I'm failing him," he murmurs, his voice catching, sounding hopeless. "I screwed it all up."

"What? Why?"

"I can't be a surgeon and a dad. I can't do it all alone. I'm a failure."

"You're not alone. You have people. David has people."

"He needs me. It took me fifteen minutes for me to answer your urgent page. About him. I responded to a 911 in two minutes flat today, and I was on the other side of the hospital."

"I was with him, he was safe."

"It doesn't matter."

"Tell me what to do," she orders in her attending voice. "I might happen another time, tell me what should I do when it does."

Derek lifts his eyes from David's shoulder, his body motionless for a long second. "Why?"

"Because I like your kid and he likes me. You need people. People who don't eat licorice and smell funny, especially."

"Is that why he escaped?" Derek grins, kissing David's temple when she nods.

"He's a wonderful, funny boy."

"He is," Derek murmurs.

"So tell me, how do I make a burrito?"

Derek sighs. "You're pretty tiny, Dr. Grey."

"So?" She cocks her eyebrow, trying to look stern. He relents, his whole body giving in.

"You have to ask him first. Tell him what you are going to do, then apply firm pressure."

"Anywhere specific?"

"He likes pressure on his midsection, and sometimes he loves when I cup his whole head with my hand, though it's getting harder and harder to do so."

Meredith nods, filing away every information. "Does he usually curl up like that when unwanted touching happens?"

"Usually," Derek nods. "Just pull him into your lap and squish him. My mother says that he likes to press his ear over her heart when he's particularly upset. Since, you know, you have…" he gulps, motioning with his hand to where David's head is resting.

"Breasts?" she says, trying not to smirk.

"Yeah," he nods, clearing his throat. "He likes breasts." There's a second when Derek turns beet red, then he clarifies: "That came out wrong."

"It did," she giggles, finally feeling herself relax. Derek's body relaxes too as he manages to laugh with her.

"Thank you," he says then, his tone sincere. "I know it ended in an almost disaster, but you handled it pretty well. And I'm gladly crawling under desks a dozen times instead of cleaning up the blood from a broken nose."

"I just...I acted before thinking."

"That was good instincts. He would have done the same to me, I promise you."

Meredith nods, watching Derek cradle the little boy with gentleness, relishing their closeness. She can almost see the ache he has to hold his son sometimes, and he looks completely at peace now. Both of them look at peace.

"You're doing a great job with him," she admits sincerely, and she sees a flicker of pride appear in his eyes.

"I try. I fuck up pretty much every time I try something new."

"You're doing your best."

"I can't imagine my life without him. I don't want to."

"It's pretty lonely," she hums, shaking her head to dismiss her thoughts. He doesn't need to hear her sob stories, ever. He has enough sob stories on his own, and he luckily doesn't hear her.

"God, I hope he didn't have licorice for dinner," he chuckles, shaking his head at his questionable choice for a babysitter.

"Is a salmon bagel okay?"

"A what?" he grins. "He ate that?"

"He sat next to me while I was eating mine, offered him a bite. He looked enthusiastic, so I bought him one. He scarfed it down, then we split another one."

"Wow," Derek chuckles. "He never ceases to surprise me."

"I think he's the only five year old I know who enjoys salmon that much. I don't know many five year olds, though."

Derek chuckles again. "He loves fish, but we never really tried salmon. I hope it's not a fluke and he likes it only with bagels."

"Wouldn't be the worst, eh," she grins.

"At this point I give him anything he asks for if it means I don't have to fight him for every bite," he shakes his head.

"You are a good dad," she tells him sincerely, and he sighs.

"I hope I can be enough," he admits.

"You can," she nods sincerely. "You are enough for him."

Derek seems to believe her blindly.

Nothing is awkward anymore as they sit under her desk, talking about David as the boy sleeps in his father's arms, the hospital a low soundtrack to their easy conversation, the world disappearing bit by bit the more they delve into their lives.

Meredith has never felt this comfortable in the presence of a man before, and she has no clue what to think of it. For the time being, she'll just ignore whatever the hell her brain tells her and she'll go with it. The worst that can happen is that she's going to be disappointed yet again. Her skin is thicker than that, she'll be okay.

A/N: Looks like Meredith and the Shepherd boys are getting closer...What will happen next? Stay tuned to find out!