A/N: Welcome back! It took a while to update again, but at least it's a long one, right? We just witnessed the bomb almost exploding in the hospital, and this will be the aftermath.

I don't want to spoil you anything, but for the sake of being correct, the rating is going up to M around the middle of the chapter, so be prepared for that. It's light M, but I want to be safer than sorry. And that adds to the reason why it took me forever to publish a new update.

Enjoy!

Chapter 16

"I almost died today," Meredith states, slamming the shot down on the dark counter. Joe is already coming closer for a refill.

She turns to look at Derek, at how soft his eyes are, the gentle smile on his lips as he tilts up the tumbler and lets the scotch trickle down his throat. The man is handsome. Blue is definitely his color, but even the red shirt he's wearing makes him look like a sex god.

Bailey stayed for one drink, then left, deciding that she wants to be home with Tuck to celebrate her long day. Meredith is well into her tequila ritual for the night, instead, and Derek is keeping up the pace.

"You almost died today," he echoes, his voice velvety. She's sure that this voice could easily undress her without him moving a muscle, good heavens.

"It's just..." She shakes her head, drowning another shot. She's not sure how many she had, probably four? The bar is already swimming a little. "I had my hands on a bomb."

"You did. That was…"

"Idiotic?" She giggles, and he chuckles with her.

"Brave. Selfless."

"I'm nothing special, Derek." She hums, lowering her gaze when she ses his eyes twinkling and his smile widening.

"You are pretty remarkable, Dr. Grey." He smirks.

Meredith traces the rim of her shot glass, still shaking her head. Maybe she's already past her fun drunk stage and she's already in moping. Not good.

She busies herself with the peanut shells on the counter to avoid his gaze.

"I'm glad you didn't die today," he murmurs, and her eyes snap up to his when she feels his fingers close around hers.

He grabs her hand and rubs soft circles with his thumb, his eyes firmly on her. Her whole body heats up.

"Me too," she whispers back, swallowing thickly.

She wants to drink more tequila, but she can't slip her hand out of his. She can't. She turns her hand around and tangles their fingers instead, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm glad you didn't die because it would have been my fault," she murmurs.

"I decided to remain there, Meredith. I made a choice."

She shakes her head. "Why?"

"Would it have been any different if instead of a bomb it was a ditch and I had to climb down to save the guy?"

"Derek, you have David waiting for you at home, you can't be..."

"Reckless? Nobody can. I'm sure you have people who love you at home, waiting for you."

Meredith snorts, she can't help herself. "Right." She chuckles bitterly, drowning the shot.

"I'm serious. You must have someone," he repeats, but she can only lower her eyes.

She can see his face crumble. Yeah, nobody expects a successful neurosurgeon to be completely alone, she knows the drill.

"My mom hugged me." She offers as consolation for him, adding a shrug. "Ellis Grey hugged me."

"Meredith, if something like that happened to David I would hug the shit out of him, even if he freaks out."

"You're not Ellis Grey." She shakes her head, signaling Joe for more tequila.

"Meredith, she has her own way to show it, but she loves you."

"Derek, I'm the turkey leftovers from Thanksgiving," she says bitterly, drowning her tequila. "God, you love turkey, you crave turkey, and then you can't see turkey until Christmas because that's all you've been eating for a week. I'm not...she loves Maggie and Richard, but me? I'm not so sure she always loves me."

His fingers squeeze hers tightly, and she sees the disbelief in his eyes. Of course he grew up with the perfect family and a truckload of love and he doesn't understand.

"She loves you."

"Derek, you had the perfect childhood with sunshine and rainbows and smiley posters on the walls, much like Maggie. Me? I've always felt like an outsider in the little family my mother built with Richard."

"My dad was murdered in front of me when I was eleven, Mere."

She gasps, turning sharply towards him to see his eyes fill with emotions. "I'm sorry."

"I'm just saying."

"My father left when I was five. Never looked back. And then Richard swooped in."

"At least you had him," he says, sipping his scotch.

"Yeah," she murmurs, drowning her newly-refilled shot.

The hum of the bar fills the silence that falls between them, and for the first time in her life, the silence is not uncomfortable. Heavy, but not uncomfortable. Derek is holding her hand and looking at her, and she doesn't care that they're not saying anything to one another. She enjoys this enough not to care.

"How's David?" she murmurs, and his face lights up.

"He's with my mother tonight. I told her to stay over, since our surgery was going to be pretty long. He's the same messy, noisy boy he always is." He chuckles.

"Good."

"He loves the sand, by the way. Loves it."

"I'm glad." She grins.

"He told me I should hug you and give you a kiss on you cheek because it's the best present ever. He also added a squeal after that."

Meredith giggles then, shaking her head at David's antics. She feels the eyes of a few nurses and other interns on her, so she sobers up.

"If you want to hug me, it's better if we do it outside. There's enough gossip about us floating around," she murmurs.

"Let's get out of here, then," he suggests, his eyes twinkling.

She shouldn't. She knows she shouldn't leave with him, but holy cow, if it's tempting. The way he's looking at her makes her want to leave with him indeed.

"I'm ready to call it a night." She nods, then smirks. "But I'm not going home with you."

He laughs while she puts her feet on the ground and stands up slowly; the bar is still spinning.

"Whoa! One tequila too many?"

"Always is." She sighs, closing her eyes and willing her head to stop so that she doesn't collapse in front of half the hospital staff.

Her eyes snap open when she feels his hand on the small of her back, keeping her steady, as his other one wraps around her shoulder. He's lucky the bar counter is covering his hand placement, but she knows there will be gossip in the morning.

She ignores the slight tilt of the floor and makes her way outside the bar, Derek still firmly at her side, leading her to the door and making sure she's not breaking anything or bumping into anyone. She can't remember ever walking out like this. Usually, when she was this drunk, her lips were tangled with some boy's, and she never noticed the spinning.

Derek makes her head spin aside from the tequila, so that might be a factor. She breathes in the damp air as soon as they walk out, hoping it can help her.

"I should go," she says, facing him.

He doesn't reply with words, he pins her to the wall instead. His lips capture hers hungrily, his body pressing her against the bricks as his hands roam from her hips to her back, sneaking under her shirt, or kneading her hair.

Her body responds to his touch and she wants to memorize every second. It feels so familiar to be kissing him like this, so safe. She knows they should stop, that anybody could walk out of Joe's and catch them, but she can't stop kissing him.

When he pulls away, his eyes are glassy and his hair tousled as she keeps him close. He gulps in a breath before they're kissing again, with even more desperation, keeping their bodies as close as clothes allow, her hips grinding into his.

There's moaning, but she's not sure who's louder between them.

"Tell me your place is around the corner." He groans, nibbling on her lower lip as she curls her leg around his hip and thrusts forward. He lets out a frustrated growl.

"It is." She moans, slipping her tongue into his mouth again. "Thank God."

"We...home. We can't…"

"I know." She whines, unable to part from him. "Can't ravage you out here."

He chuckles, then slowly removes his body from hers. They're both panting, gazing into each other's eyes without a care in the world. They both wince when their bubble is burst by a cluster of voices reaching their ears, sounds from inside coming and going as the door of Joe's opens and closes.

"Take me home." He growls, and he looks just about ready to kiss her again.

"Home." She nods, shaking her head from the haze of their make-out session, knowing there's more to come if she can move her feet quickly.

Usually, she goes home with the boys, knowing that it's easier to slip out rather than kick them out, but this time, she doesn't care. Part of her doesn't want to kick Derek out at all, if mere kissing makes her this flustered.

He lunges at her again, almost literally sweeping her off her feet, and she doesn't want to end this. She can't end this.

"One for the road." He smirks, pulling away, a satisfied smirk gracing his features.

Doing something even more unheard of in the Meredith Chronicles, she grips his hand in hers, then moves away from the brick wall, leading him home. They hurry along puddles in the damp pavement, laughing and teasing each other.

By the time she's at her front door, they're both breathless.

"Third floor." She moans as she turns away from him to open the door and his lips find the back of her neck. Heat pools at her core as he nibbles and explores with his hands.

The door flies open and she's glad it can close on its own because she's sure she wouldn't have cared if it didn't as they hurry up the stairs, too impatient for the elevator. Her own front door is an obstacle enough as it is.

As soon as they step inside the apartment, she slams Derek's body against the door, closing it with the force of the impact, and then she attacks his mouth.

He doesn't protest at all.

"Mere." He moans, when they finally pull away to take a deep breath.

Their chests are heaving, and both of them look already flushed and rumpled, if Derek's appearance is enough of a tell. He has never been more gorgeous.

"Couch?" She gulps, zipping open his jacket, letting it fall on the floor.

She feels self conscious as he appraises her with a single look, then sheds her of her jacket, taking away her top as well a moment later.

It feels like seconds before they're stumbling towards the couch, their clothes all over her apartment, their bodies hot and tangled.

Her brain is in a haze as they pleasure each other into orgasmic frenzy, and she has no idea how in the world he can know her body so well. She drives him crazy, she can see it in the way he responds to her, but the way he's touching her is nothing she has ever experienced before.

She's not sure it's because she knows him, he's not a random guy in a bar as her usual, but he knows what makes her writhe in pleasure until she's begging, or what makes her scream until she's hoarse. And part of her knows what makes him growl and moan and squirm too, and she's not sure why either.

She knows it's surreal when they lay on the couch panting, their bodies still tangled, and she doesn't want him to go. He's still inside her, soft and spent, and part of her is already missing him.

Her head is cloudy after the countless orgasms; he looks pretty sated himself. Yet, she's ready to start from the beginning if it means he's not leaving her anytime soon.

He's still catching his breath as he peppers kisses over her shoulder, rolling on the side so that she's resting her cheek on his chest. She whimpers when he slips out of her.

"I'm not sure I can move." He chuckles, shifting to dispose of his condom, but then she brings him back in place, holding onto him tightly.

"I...bed?" She gulps, hiding her gaze from him, squeezing her eyes shut when she feels his lips on her hair. She knows he's leaving her soon, and she can't bear it. She needs to have him close.

"Bed," he murmurs in her hair, smiling. She can feel his smile, and she savors it.

If he thought Meredith Grey was gorgeous before, he never could have imagined how gorgeous she would look after three – maybe four? – orgasms. His skin is still tingling, even if he feels utterly spent, and he wants nothing more than to be buried inside of her again.

He hasn't been with many women in the past six years, most of the rare dates he has attempted ending soon after the sex when he mentioned David, but this time, he can't even think about ending this.

He wraps his arms around her lithe body and lifts her up, carrying her towards her bedroom as she directs him in a sleepy murmur.

She looks small and fragile in his arms, holding tightly onto his naked skin, and he never would have guessed that Meredith could be either of these things. She's usually so strong and bossy, that he figured it carried out in every other part of her life.

Boy, was he wrong.

She's gentle and caring with David, soft and warm whenever she's around his little boy, and that should have given him a clue. What tonight had been came completely out of the blue, though.

Meredith is incredible.

They both crawl under the covers of her bed, and she immediately curls up around him, keeping him captive. She rubs her foot over his calf, her knee grazing his flaccid penis and making it flop against his thigh, forcing him to gulp a big breath, then she kisses him softly.

They've been frenzied and passionate in their kisses so far, right from the bar, but this kiss is as soft as the one they have shared in his kitchen, a kiss he has no idea what it means.

She slowly climbs on top of him, kissing his jaw as she shifts her body and hooks her knees around his hips. He feels the heat of her core on his abdomen as she slides lower with her body and with her lips. He twitches, unsure how his body can manage arousal after being inside her for as long and intensely as he has been, and yet he can still feel the tip of his penis graze her moist lips as she maneuvers him closer.

"Mer." He moans, but before he can protest further, she distracts him with a drugging kiss. When his tongue finally gives in and slips into her, so does his twitching penis.

He quickly breaks off the kiss, but Meredith's legs are keeping him firmly inside of her, even though he's barely starting to harden.

"I need to feel you," she murmurs, grinding her hips. "I need…"

"Mere, I'm not...ready."

Her body stiffens and she rises up, effectively pushing him a little deeper as he lengthens more out of his willpower. God, he's fucking this up. How can he make sense of his thoughts and say stuff that sounds logical when she's on top of him?

Almost as if she senses his troubles, she slips out of him, her eyes glassy. She curls up in a ball on her side of the bed, breaking his heart.

"Mere, please, turn around."

"It's okay, I get it." She shakes her head, and he knows she's trying not to cry.

"You're not getting it," he says, trying to turn her around to face him, feathering kisses on her shoulder blades. She shivers.

"Derek, I get it. You wanted to fuck me to get ahead, get into a cool surgery or two tomorrow. Or maybe brag to Sloan about it, about the fact that you screwed frigid Meredith Grey and he hasn't. Still, you…"

"Meredith, turn around," he tells her with more determination, curling his arm around her and physically turning her. The sadness in her gaze makes his heart clench. "I don't do random fucks, and I don't do fucks to get ahead or to brag to people," he says, pulling her close. She's still stiff in his arms, but she seems to be relenting.

"What was this, then? Opportunity? Scratching an itch?" she murmurs in the space between their chests.

"I can count the women I have been with in six years, Meredith. Last time I was with someone it took me a month to tell her about David, and she fled. One day she was fucking me in her bed, telling me it might go somewhere, the next she had vanished. I haven't tried a relationship since. I don't do random fucks."

Her eyes meet his as she relaxes, her fists uncurling and her palms resting over his heart instead. He turns on his back again then, bringing her on top of him, in the same position they were before, sliding inside of her.

He doesn't care that the little arousal that she had managed to bring out before is now gone and he's embarrassingly flaccid, he gets it. He gets why she wanted him inside of her beyond sex, even though it scares the crap out of him.

"I'm scared too, Meredith," he murmurs, kissing her deeply as he rocks his hips into hers slowly, hardening as she squeezes around him and accommodates his growing length.

"I've never felt this way before," she admits breaking off the kiss, their hips slowing their movements as she rests her ear over his heart. "I can't keep you out of my head, even if it's wrong and frowned upon. I can't."

"I know. I've never felt this way either, not even when I was in a relationship."

"The last boyfriend I had was when I was in med school, and it lasted a few months at best. I have no clue about...This is so…"

"Meredith, we'll take it one step at a time, okay? We'll figure this one out. We both have a lot at stake, with your career and my son, and…"

She takes in a sharp intake of breath. "I know it's selfish, I know, but...can you stay?" she murmurs, pulling him even deeper inside of her as she works him to full length. "Can you stay tonight, if David can be alone? I know it's a lot to ask, but I need…"

"I can stay," he agrees; he knows he'll deal with David tomorrow. He has no desire to sleep alone either.

"Even without constant sex?" she asks, kissing him a little deeper and shifting her hips, rising so that her breasts are practically in his face now.

"We can cuddle," he says breathlessly, capturing one of her nipples in his mouth, making her moan.

"Now?" she giggles, swiveling her hips before she moves up and down his length slowly.

"Later, definitely later," he grins as she starts riding him a little harder and he grabs her hips, thrusting up to meet her body. He's more than ready now.

He's mesmerized by her body as she works on top of him, enthralled by her every movement, how her skin flushes and her breathing catches. He wants her to reach her climax again so he can watch her in her full glory, but it's proving it to be harder and harder. Literally.

She yelps his name when he brings his fingers to her favorite cluster of nerves and she flails. Her body starts rocking in a frenzy as her breasts bounce in tune with her movements. He thrusts harder into her and presses his fingers even more firmly on her nub, but she's such a stubborn woman.

"Let it go," he tells her breathlessly, kissing the hollow of her neck as he moves his fingers in a circle. "Let it go, I'm not going anywhere tonight."

She surrenders as soon as he whispers the words in her ear. She moans loudly into the night, her whole body shaking as the orgasm hits her. His hips are still jerking desperately, trying to prolong her pleasure and holding off his own; he knows his arm is the only thing keeping her upright.

He removes his finger from her and she whimpers and moans, holding tightly onto his shoulder as she slowly collapses against him.

Derek is quick to flip their bodies around and let her back hit the mattress without slipping out of her. She moans at the change of position, her body still riding the tail ends of the orgasm.

"We'll figure this out, Mere," he hums, bringing her limp legs around his waist, then moving them up as high as he can. When he thrusts again she moans loudly, his pelvis grinding into her at the perfect angle.

"More..." she moans. "Again...come again."

"You will," he chuckles, his fingers on her again as he adds even more pressure to his thrusts. She's already clenching around him, and he knows she's really close. He seems to know her body so well already it's incredible how much more pleasurable sex will become when he actually knows her body perfectly. He wants to know her body.

"No...leave," she whimpers, biting her lip as her legs shake around him.

"I'm not," he confirms, thrusting harder. "I'm not, I'm not, I'm not."

He uses his jumbled promise to spur his thrusts, going faster and faster as her body surrenders to his touch, her loud moans accompanying her orgasm as she immediately lets go of her fears, trusting him with her body.

Derek feels even more empowered then, and he can't help but speed up his movements as she keeps clenching and moaning around him, her orgasm bringing him to his in a few more thrusts.

As soon as her body stops flailing, he explodes inside of her, her clenching walls milking the orgasm out of him.

He's still panting when they roll over and she settles on top of him, just like before, on the couch.

He doesn't dare to slip out of her just yet; being honest, he has no desire to do so.

Meredith wakes up in a cocoon of blankets and Derek, and she's pretty sure she has never slept better before in her life. She basks in their warmth.

When her alarm blares, she shuts it with a slam.

She never wants to leave.

Except she should. And all the thousand reasons why she should hit her like a ton of bricks as soon as she feels Derek's lips press over her forehead.

He stayed. He stayed and left David alone and...she's a monster. She's a selfish, self-centered monster.

"Thank God I have the day off," he murmurs as a good morning, groaning when he finds her lips for a quick peck. "Hey."

"Hi," she breathes on his lips, unable to keep herself in check and the smile off her lips.

Derek makes her feel safe. No matter how busy her head is, he makes the world stop spinning, and he grounds her. The alarm doesn't matter, her fears can be pushed aside, as long as he keeps holding her.

"I have to go to work," she murmurs, burying into his chest, "Saving lives and all that."

"I have to spend the day with David, I'm in trouble. He hates when I have to stay away longer."

"Derek, – " she begins, but he cuts her off with a kiss.

"We'll figure out something to accommodate his needs too. We'll figure it out."

"I'm just...I need…"

"Take some time," he whispers against her skin. "I need some time too. We crossed a line."

"We did. Gosh, we did. We can't go back."

"I don't want to go back."

"Derek, I'm not sure I'm the girl you're looking for, you need someone that can meet your needs and David's and…"

"That's why I'm giving us some time. We'll go slow. You set the pace."

"I set the pace?"

"You're the boss, after all," he smirks, and her eyes widen in horror. She had completely overlooked that fact.

"We're in such deep shit, Derek. Like...fire me, fire you shit," she gulps. "And my mother! Holy crap, Derek!"

"Shh," he hums. "I'm freaking out, too. I'd be checking out of my second internship, that's freaky."

"I'm so, so sorry," she says, then jumps out of the bed. "I'm just going to go get ready now, have a shower and...work. I'll...work. When I'll get back, you won't be here." She winces when she gives him the line, but she can't help herself.

"Fine," he smirks, suddenly looking confident and not like an intern at all.

This man will be the death of her.

Derek obeys Meredith's orders and leaves her apartment, retrieving his car in the hospital parking lot when it's barely light out, then driving home feeling on cloud nine.

Of course, his heart starts weighing a bit more the closer he gets to his destination.

Never before in his life he has completely disregarded David as he did last night. And he feels an overwhelming sense of guilt, as soon as he enters his garage. He traded off a night of celebrations with David for mind-blowing, out-of-body-experience sex; guilt barely covers what he's feeling.

He enters his home with his head hanging low, still smelling faintly like a flower – Meredith's essence – and sex.

His mother is waiting for him with a cup of coffee and a knowing look on her face.

"You don't need to tell me you're at work when you have a date, Derek."

He sits down, unable to look her in the eyes. "I didn't. I never...We had a tough case and she almost died, so we went out to celebrate with a drink. I just...it was never meant to go this way," he shakes his head, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"Derek, it's okay, I don't want to know what happened."

"I should have called you and told you I wouldn't be home."

"Derek, I was young too, once, I know how easy it is to get caught up in someone. I always cut it way too close to curfew when I was dating your dad."

"We're not dating. We...She…"

"You're allowed to have some time for yourself, Derek. You are. Remember when Dad and I had date nights?"

"I remember."

"David needs to get used to that. To sharing you with someone else."

"It's not really that serious, we just...We barely know each other and it's complicated."

"I know that being with Meredith won't be easy, but is it worth it?"

His eyes widen. "How do you know I was with Meredith?"

"Sweetheart, you look at her like she hangs the moon. And I saw you two kissing at David's party."

He gulps. "I need to be more careful, I need…"

"You need to know where she stands, where you both stand. It will work itself out."

"Her mother is her boss, Mom. The Chief of Surgery and the Chief of Staff are practically my in-laws," he shudders. "I can't believe I spent the night with her."

"Derek, she's not her parents' daughter, or your boss or an attending to you, she's Meredith. You went home with her because she's Meredith."

"Mom, I just…"

"Time, dear. You'll understand where to go if you give it time."

"I told her that; she agrees."

"Good. Then give it time."

His head is still a mess, and his guilt is still rampant, but he doesn't have time to wallow more, because he can hear David climbing downstairs with his usual grace of an elephant stampede.

He'll give it time.

A/N: Whoops, Meredith and Derek! Stay tuned to see how crossing these lines will change their relationship! Thank you for reading and loving IWBY, you guys are amazing.