Prompt by Laura (urcoldasanight): Precanon. Harvey asks donna to come with him to his mother's for Christmas, she is accepts and tells him she's gonna bring cookies. On their way to Lily's house, Harvey mentions that he's hungry so Donna tells him to take a cookie (that they end up sharing). When they arrive at Lily's house, she realizes that he took a cookie from the wrong box, he took a space cookie, and they're about to be high as fuck for this Christmas dinner/night
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High Hopes
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It ends with Donna cuddled into Harvey's side as they munch happily on the long forgotten cookies. A sweet hazy blissful moment. But to understand what really happened there, one must go back to a moment two weeks prior.
New York's skyline is tinted in a purplish haze, slowly but surely emerging in a beautiful clear night. The lights still illuminate the sky, so it won't be able to fully succumb to the darkness of the night. Most employees have already left the building hours ago, and only those wanting to complete their tasks for the day were left. This brings us to Donna typing up her last file of the stack of documents in her office while Harvey keeps scribbling notes about his current case in his office right next to hers. Occasionally there's a grunt, a heavy sigh or just a rustling of papers to be heard - equally by both as not only the intercom is turned on but also the open glass doors, which Harvey explicitly opened as they reached a quieter time in the office.
"Donna," his voice travels through the open mostly unoccupied space, reaching their destination. He had moved onto the floor, not daring to enter her office yet. His eyes focused on her, noticing the slight change in posture which gave him the sign that she heard him and maybe even sensed him at the door. "Are there any plans in 10 days?" he asks. It sounds casual, he thinks. He hears the rhythmic typing come to a stop, hazel eyes coming up to meet his brown ones, an eyebrow arched. No words needed.
Yet, he waits.
"It's Christmas, Harvey. Of course, you don't have any plans then." He hears her roll her eyes before he sees it, but all the while her choice of tone throws him off. Of course, he had a stupid way to ask, actually meaning HER plans, not his, but he can't decipher if she understood his intention and is actually making him come forward - which would be such a Donna thing to do - or if she has genuinely not understood his intention. The silence that follows and the tilt of her head though, they finally let him get a read on her.
"Will you spend Christmas with me?" he admits with a heavy sigh, her making him move forward with words rather than half-assed phrases.
Silence.
"...at my mom's?" he adds under her scrutinizing gaze.
"There we have it!" she sasses. "And why exactly would I spend my work-free holidays with my colleague at his family's place?" she clasped her fingers together. Maybe it was to ground herself, after all, they are both still reeling back from a serious dent in their relationship… scratch that, their friendship.
"Because I've heard you talking to your parents, them going on vacation means you will be alone and I could change that." He offers as an explanation, although to Donna's ears it sounds like part of a negotiation, a fact to get the opponent to agree to his terms of the deal.
"Wow, Specter. You really know how to woo a woman." The sarcasm in her voice, laced with a hint of what he makes out to be hurt, turns his stomach into knots, and makes him regret asking her as awkwardly as he did. Harvey usually had no trouble with words, let alone around women. He even managed to sometimes keep up with Donna's sharp wit, but more often than not he felt intimidated, like in this exact moment.
He steps into the room and crosses the few feet it takes to sit down in front of her desk, needing her to see him completely and maybe do her thing where she knows that he is saying more than he actually is. "I didn't mean it like that." A sigh, collecting his words again. "I don't want you to be alone on Christmas and I could actually need you...r help at my mom's." He drifts off. Both gazing at each other intensively, conveying more than words can say, because if anything, their non-verbal communication works best.
"What's in it for me?" Now they are talking, he thinks to himself. Donna is back to her witty self, leaning back in her chair with a slight smirk dancing on her lips. She definitely got the upper hand now, because she reads him like a book - knowing exactly how much he needed her to tag along.
Anything, he wants to say but the ground they are walking on is shaky at best. Humor has always been their way to deflect, but now it is walking the fine line of joking about things and not throw in too many innuendos that it becomes too much to handle for their relatio… friendship.
"How about an almost limitless shopping trip?"
"Well that seems hardly enough…," she muses and he knows that she is oh so milking this for every penny it is worth.
"Okay, a shopping trip with breakfast and while we're there, a constant supply of drinks." The raised eyebrow indicates her want to object but he ignores it and continues. "Yes, I know it's my mother's house but I'll make sure it's worked out, even if I have to stock up on your favorite wine in the back of the car." He smirks, satisfied with reading her objection right.
"Alright… since I've got nothing better to do." She shrugs and winks at him.
"Wow, Paulsen. You really know how to woo a man." He imitates her previous statement while putting a hand over his heart in dramatic hurt, causing Donna to snort.
"You're an idiot."
"One you'll spend Christmas with." He winks while getting up. "I'll pick you up at noon that day then. Gives us enough time for the drive and maybe a few stops."
"Alright." She smiles, he nods back at her smiling as well and can not help but feel like this is a step in the right direction again. Is he nervous to involve her in his family just like this? Probably. But at the same time, it feels right to have her there, by his side, as he manages his way through a reconnect relationship with his mom on a big holiday like Christmas.
...
Ten days later, right when the clock strikes 12 pm, Donna finds herself grabbing her coat and a small trolley with a change of clothes. Over the last few days, Harvey told her he had booked both of them a hotel room, each. Much to her disappointment. It was his backup plan, he said. His family had invited him to stay with them, and under normal circumstances, he probably would just stay at Marcus' place, but with Donna coming along, he did not want her to feel forced to stay there as well. And maybe he also did it for his own sake, a big Christmas party would make him need to take a break and have a breather afterward, which he could only do without said family still buzzing around him.
"What are those for?" Harvey asks as he takes the trolley from her and detects two Tupperware containers in a separate smaller bag she holds in her other hand, alongside her purse.
"Those are for your mom, a small gift for letting me tag along… and the others are our 'we survived' treat." She winks.
"And here I thought you would think to bring us lunch packages for the drive." He pouts.
"You're ridiculous. Besides, you mentioned breaks on the drive, we could just grab something then." She shrugs and knows she got him there, as he just hums while he closes the trunk. Up until now, Donna hadn't taken much time to inspect the vehicle but now that she does, she is flabbergasted that Harvey even remembered such small detail that she shared with him once a blue moon ago in the darkness of his office. After one too many glasses of scotch, she confessed that she always wanted to own a Jaguar XJ. She was not really fascinated by cars at all, but when she was younger, she dreamed of having such an elegant fancy car, proving her to be a famous actress. That never came to be and most of the time she actually enjoyed taking cabs or even being about to call Ray, as it was way less stressful in the Big Apple's chaos of traffic. Yet, here is Harvey, renting the car she desires for a drive to his parent's.
"You'll get your turn to drive it too." He smiles. A small, simple gesture that melts her insides even further than usual. "Maybe on the way back, but I figured I know the way there best and am already imposing on your Christmas… don't need to add making you drive on top of that," he admits sheepishly.
"It's alright, you're my chauffeur today." She grins, conveying the thank you for his choice of ride with her soft tone instead of the usual jab.
"So… shall we?" he asks, opening the door for her. The slight shake of his hand and his clenched jaw do not go unnoticed by Donna. He is nervous. As he jogs to the other side and gets in, she puts him under further inspection. Gone are the three-piece suits and a quite welcoming change are his black pants and beige sweater. His sleeves slightly pushed up, revealing his forearms with a quite well-worn leather watch she has not seen him wear at the office, and overall it feels like a completely different Harvey is sitting next to her. Only for him to turn on the radio, as the silence between them put him in an uncomfortable feeling. Finding some channel that is not playing Christmas songs was hard, but he settles for a jazz one that only occasionally changes to a cover of some well-known songs.
"So… how have you been?" He tries to start up the conversation while safely navigating the streets out of New York. The silence was too much for him to handle. Usually, time alone with Donna was a balm to his heart and soul, it could be conversations running as deep as the ocean or just mindless chatter about some play she had seen or a baseball game he went to, everything felt at ease, even them sitting in silence. Yet, now he could not help himself and tap the steering wheel impatiently as his mind ran 1000 miles per hour and he felt lightyears away from Donna.
"That's what you're going with?" She snorts and somehow that unique sound pulls him out of this whirlwind of thoughts, easing him back into the present where Donna is anything but lightyears away from him. "Here, have a cookie. You're not yourself when you're hangry." She chuckles to herself that his hand is already seeking out the box before she even finished her sentence, messing around in the small tote bag she stacked the cookie boxes in. "Careful or else you'll get a wrong one." She adds, putting the lids he loosened in his frantic search for a cookie back on their respective boxes.
"Thank you." He muffles around the cookie, glancing over once he demolished it completely. "They're really good." A shared smile and another offered cookie.
"Three missing won't hurt your mom. I made an extra big batch." He grins and they clink their cookies together.
"Merry Christmas Donna, and thank you for coming along."
"Thank you for inviting me." She smiles back at him, reaching over to squeeze his arm while both happily munch on their cookies. The atmosphere changed back to their usual eerie calm silence, with beautiful jazz playing in the background. Occasionally, when a Christmas song comes on both can hear the other hum along, sharing secret smiles when they look at each other and notice. It happens more frequently and sets them off into giggles after the eight time of sneaking a glance at each other at the same time.
"Just tell me you want another cookie." She grins, having stolen yet another one from the box but having been caught by Harvey.
"Well I think I would rather like the other batch, but yes, please give me another one," he pleaded, using puppy eyes that he will deny owning up to.
"Maybe..." Donna starts, thinking that a space cookie might loosen him up right before meeting his family. Just one would not hurt and the rest would be his treat for later when he actually survived the whole evening.
"No, those are for afterward," Harvey replies as if reading her thoughts.
"Alright, but that's also the last one you get. They were for you mom, not you." She laughs and pulls the box out of the bag. The box with the blue lid comes out first, so she grabs the one with the green next. Her wide eyed, deer caught in headlights, look throws Harvey off.
"Donna, are you okay? Do we need to stop?"
"Uhmm… hmmm… no, sorry. Everything's good." She nods, internally panicking. She can not even ask to take over driving as she has been munching alongside him as well. A quick look at Harvey confirms that he doesn't seem to be affected by the pot yet, but it would still be best for them to arrive at their destination as soon as possible. And as if it is a sign from the universe, the next street sign indicates that their destination is not that far out anymore.
"How are you feeling?" she asks, trying to gauge his level of highness.
"I'm good… thanks to you." He smiles at her.
"What? Why because of me?" The confusion as well as the hazy fog clouding her mind and judgment.
"If it weren't for you… I wouldn't be here… driving to my mom's." He snorts, this feeling of this Christmas being an awful lot like bringing a girlfriend home settling over him. A chuckle escapes him at his own thought, Donna is lost by his words, but they seem to make sense to him, and he looks like he wants to continue the conversation. "Mom was so obvious with Paula." He laughs but that name makes Donna's heart sting with hurt, she can't help but stare out of her window as a lone tear trickles down her face. "Made a comment about how thankful she is for Paula making us reconnect. Should have known from her face that it wasn't Paula." He snorts again, shaking his head. "I wonder what I must have looked like," he muses, drifting off. "But later when we were alone..."
"Stop." He hears her hoarse whisper.
"Huh?"
"I don't want to talk about Paula, Harvey." She rolls her eyes but her face looks different to him, like he is seeing her in a new light. He can't explain it but this feels monumental. "Watch the road..." she pushes at his shoulder lightly and his head snaps forward, confused about what is happening and why he feels like he did something wrong.
"When mom and I were alone, I told her it was you who made me reconnect with her." He whispers, or tries to, but in his current state, he does anything but. Quite the opposite, he actually forcefully belts it out, as if to prove his rightness. The fast turn of her head almost causes whiplash, but the hot pain shooting down her neck and spine is nothing compared to the racing of her heart.
"What?"
"You heard me," he grumbles, gone are the light mood and happiness from before.
"She blindsided me." She sighs, heart heavy with regret of trying to hold that information forever. She may have admitted that she did not see him and Paula coming, but she was blindsided by Paula and also by her feelings. The chance of a possible 'what could have been' looming in the back of her head ever since he said those devastating words.
"My mom?"
"Paula."
"I thought you didn't want to talk about her."
"I let myself hope. Wishing for more. I don't know." High Donna was not as eloquent with her words as sober Donna, because the latter knew how to suppress her emotions. But that barrier was open now and an emotional Donna, mixed with a hazy mind turned into a regret-spilling fountain. The word 'more' caused both to panic. Fresh on their minds are still the repercussions of their last conversation with that special keyword. "I think being COO is nice… but it wasn't what I wanted," she admits, not only to herself but out loud, in front of Harvey. "I wanted more where I couldn't get more, so I settled. I just had high expectations."
He wants to know more, ask all the right questions, but he can not make his body work to do so. So they sit in an awkward silence of spilled heavy confessions.
"I do have that effect on people." She can't help the snort that escapes her after his statement.
"Of course you would need to bring your sex-capades into this."
"Don't act so prude, Ms Paulsen, I know exactly what you're capable of." He smirks, a hand squeezing her thigh and suddenly the air feels too hot for her. She hadn't noticed the car coming to a stop as he gave her thigh another squeeze, both their intense gazes locked with one another.
"That wasn't even half the show," she quips. Two could play this game, so she covered his hand with hers, ever so slightly moving it a bit higher on her thigh without realizing so. However, Harvey did, his gaze drifting down to their hands. It felt like someone set fire to the car, he can't decide if the image of their hands and their placement or her intense gaze are turning him on. Or maybe it is a combination of both. In the back of his mind, there is the nagging voice telling him she has a rule and that he should not do it, but voice is drowned out by desire, passion and need with the overall hazy feeling of simply not giving a single fuck. It is how he finds himself leaning closer, their gazes locked till the end, their noses barely brushing one another. Their sharp puffs of breath mingled between them, felt on each other's lips. Blood is rushing in their ears, filled with adrenaline as his hand squeezes her thigh again and she squeezes his hand, the sign it is okay to go forward.
When suddenly his car door is yanked open and the loud voice of Marcus fills the vehicle. "Hey, dickhead."
Donna and Harvey quickly move back in their respective seats, hands drawn back as if they were burnt and ruined is a moment that may have changed everything.
"Marcus, hey." Harvey clears his throat, running a hand through his hair.
"Come on, up you go. You guys are already late." His brother ushers them out of the car, already running around to give Donna a hand. Both Donna and Harvey, still shellshocked, now finally manage to move, their moment just minutes prior ever so present on their mind. They are rushed around some more as the front door of the small, cozy townhouse opens again and reveals an elder woman as well as two kids hurrying across the front yard, barrelling into Harvey with such speed that it almost knocks him over. The kids are tugging their Uncle Harvey closer to the house, while Donna is securely wrapped into Marcus' side. The twinge in his gut at that alone drives him crazy, almost as if he has to intervene, but then Donna looks over her shoulder, searching for him with her eyes. He reads her, like she usually does him, and this is overwhelming for both of them.
"You must be Donna, it's so nice to finally be able to put a name to the face every Specter man has been raving about." Lily welcomes Donna, ignoring the hand Donna was about to offer and pulls her into a heartwarming hug. While Donna was and always will be in Harvey's corner regarding the whole situation between them, she can not help herself but soak in the warmth of Lily's hug and being wrapped into Marcus' side. It feels like she takes all the things Harvey won't be able to give to her.
"It's so nice to finally meet you too," Donna manages to reply, but still feels a bit choked up. It is the sudden realization of what could but never will be. He only would have acted on it because he is high, she would have let him because she is high and her heart and mind have been battling one another for too long to hold this in when all the gates are open.
She barely registered the kids running past her into the dining room, Marcus following because his littlest one dropped something and Lily guiding her in. It only comes into perspective when she's already standing in the dining room and Lily lightly tugs her to the right, while Harvey's hand had sneaked in the nook of her elbow to lead her to the left.
"Donna." His deep timbre quietly sounds from behind her, as his mother manages to pull Donna with her and seats her next to herself, chatting avidly about how glad she is to have them as guests and hopes she likes what she made them. However, Harvey's left dumbfounded and shocked. He would not have thought Donna would leave him like that. She was supposed to be his support, and he simply couldn't believe how his mom just claimed her as if she had known Donna forever. She was his Donna. Begrudgingly, Harvey follows Donna and takes a seat beside her, letting out a small huff of annoyance, quiet enough so only Donna notices and shoots him a questioning look.
"What's that all about?" he grumbles when they are alone while his brother and mother are in the kitchen to serve the food.
"I'm just being polite," she replies aggravated. "You've asked me to come here to be a buffer, now I am and it's still not what you want?" Donna hisses in a hushed tone right before Lily enters the room again with filled plates. She serves Donna first and then moves on to Harvey.
"I hope it's still your favorite, Harvey," his mother offers with a shy smile and sets down his plate. A full plate of mashed potatoes, filet with red wine sauce and baked bananas. He does not know how to explain this feeling he experiences in this moment, but suddenly everything is back the way it used to be. Their annual Christmas dinner, with what has always been his favorite food and no big secret hanging above their heads. He swallows the lump in his throat, nods with a soft smile and teary eyes.
"Thank you," he feels the need to vocalize and this new version of Harvey seals a new bond with his mother which both thought impossible to mend. From then onwards, the conversation at the table takes various turns. The kids dominate the first hour, having the desperate need to fill their Uncle Harvey in on everything he missed since they last spoke - which was quite often as Donna had to find out. As his secretary, she had always been the one to speak with Gordon and Marcus, arranging cards, gifts and time slots so they could meet when in New York or even the rare occasions when Harvey actually flew out, but ever since she became COO she had lost this side of him, figured he would do the occasional birthday call - since she marked them bright red and in all caps in his calendar.
"He has changed quite some time ago," Marcus clarifies upon reading Donna's face while Harvey's quite oblivious to their private conversation as Hayley is updating him on her baseball team's scores.
"You have been such a good influence on him," Lily adds, squeezing Donna's arm. "We wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. So... Thank you, Donna. For this… looking out for him when I didn't."
"I really don't have that much power," Donna admits, her insecurities of their crumbled relationship talking. "It was all him. Bags waiting and ready to go, he just needed a nudge that it was okay." She shrugs and undermines herself. Lily shakes her head and pulls Donna into a one-armed embrace over the edge of the table.
"You've really got so much more power over him, more than you realize," she whispers in her ear and squeezes her a little bit tighter. The soft "I wish" from Donna not unnoticed by the older woman. "Believe me," Lily just says as she leans back and squeezes her hand. A common thing for the Specters Donna notices, because not soon after the private moment with the other woman, Harvey's hand settles on her thigh and squeezes her leg. Her head snaps to meet his intense look, not quite as emotional as before, rather tense and frowning even. His gaze then wanders to his mother and brother, almost as if he was to glare them away from his Donna.
"What's with the sour face, fudgehead." Marcus mimics his brother's face. "You play with my kids, we play with your… company," he finally settles, but the innuendo on how he says company is lost on neither of the adults. Lily barely manages to contain her snicker, while Harvey is protective resting an arm on the back of Donna's chair.
"Well, maybe Donna doesn't want to be played with by you," he grumbles, the jealousy quite obvious, as well as him being high, because Harvey would usually never engage in such petty play.
"Stop it, Harvey." Donna rolls her eyes, not needing a man off between the brothers. While she originally was supposed to be a buffer between mother and son, she now sees it as her duty to stop the whole thing from escalating at all.
"He started it." Harvey all but pouts.
"Yeah well, you already played with me and set me aside before, so why shouldn't I enjoy other people's company when you're done?" And suddenly the conversation takes a different turn, she does not know why she thought bringing up The Other Time was a good idea, but if you ask her later she will blame it on being high. The whole situation was just the brothers riling each other up and Donna was done being the pinball. It was dead silent after her admission, Marcus' shocked eyes jumping between the pair, a knowing look on Lily's face, and Harvey… well Harvey turns to look at Donna with such intensity that it could rival their moment in the car and suddenly the possessiveness is there again as his hand settles back on her thigh. The action does not go unnoticed by Marcus who raises a teasing eyebrow at his brother, adding that same infuriating Specter smirk Harvey has.
"You always were bad at sharing," Lily butts in and Donna can't help but snort at that.
"HEY!" He complains when Donna betrays him with her laugh.
"It's true," she defends herself, shrugging, innocently holding her hands up. But when she drops them back in her lap, one hand settles over his, taking the meaning of her statement back - as if to say, it may be true, but I know that is who you are. "I mean let's just think back to Tanner," she muses with a smirk. "He drove you nuts." The inaudible grumble from Harvey results in questions from his family for more details. Slowly but surely, the bond between Lily and Harvey strengthens, as memories get shared by Marcus and Donna and later on even mother and son themselves. The kids had long forgone the polite act of sitting at the table when their grandma allowed them to watch TV after their finished dinner, while the grown-ups keep talking. The evening takes a lighter and giggly note as they reach the embarrassing reminiscing part, from bad haircuts, with of course photographic evidence, to unsuccessful dinner parties, incapabilities of cooking on Donna's behalf and getting anywhere on time without a planner on Harvey's.
"That ain't true. I'm super punctual with my clients," Harvey defends himself.
"Because you've got scheduled appointments that your secretary reminds you of lightyears in advance." Donna snorts.
"Besides, she's got a point… you did arrive too late today," Marcus adds.
"That's what you get when Harvey plans the trip himself." She giggles, quite loosened up, especially after Harvey turning to her with puppy eyes and a big pout.
"On that note, time for dessert. Marcus, will you help me please?" Lily already makes her way to the kitchen, with her son following.
"It's not nice of you to throw me under the bus like that… especially at mom's." Harvey keeps pouting.
"Poor Harvey." Donna mimics him and cups his cheek. "As if bashing my cooking skills is any better." She giggles. "I want to leave a good impression."
"Psh, as if you weren't already her favorite person in the room."
"Harvey, are you jealous you're not the center of attention for once?" A snort follows her disbelief.
"Maybe. No. I don't know... yes?" The insecurity is taking over, added with the feeling of losing Donna to his family. While his sober self would realize how stupid the latter sound, his stoned self cannot help but feel like Donna is slipping through his fingers.
"Oh, Harvey…," She replies and it feels an awful lot as if she can read his mind. "This evening is going so well, the teasing but also getting to know each other is good. And nothing can be mended in just one night… but it's the right direction. Okay?" A thumb strokes over his sharp jawline as the other hand gives his hand a squeeze. This is them, a unit, against whatever happens. He visibly relaxes in his seat and holds her hand in his lap when dessert arrives. The small sweet treat is quickly polished off the plates and the evening is coming to an end. After helping clear the table and putting their coats, the goodbyes begin. Offers to stay at Lily's and Marcus's have been made, but especially in their high state both Donna and Harvey do not feel up for it and are glad their hotel is nearby, even if the latter has not been made aware of his state. Lily thanks Donna again, for both this evening and the overall reunion, before she moves on to Harvey. While greeting him, things had been quite awkward but now the air cleared so much that Harvey even takes the first step closer, both embracing each other as another layer of the wall between them crumbles and falls down.
"Thank you, Harvey."
"No, thank you... Mom," he whispers, in his own bubble around them.
"And please, don't let Donna go… ever! Go out now, have a nice time, use your chance because she won't be waiting forever."
"I don't know... maybe..." He is overwhelmed again, this is becoming too much and is one of the reasons why he did not want to stay over.
"Just saying, but please… dial down on getting high, you two, alright?"
"WHAT?"
"Harvey, I'm an art teacher… what do you think I did in university? I know a stoned person when I see one, and you two? You definitely had something..." She just smiles, patting his cheek.
"I...We... MOM."
"It's alright, just promise you will text me when you're at the hotel."
"Okay, bye, Mom." And with a tentative kiss on her cheek, Harvey wraps an arm around Donna, leading her to the car. After waving goodbye and driving down the road, Harvey allows himself to take a glance at Donna.
"So… that went well," he muses, holding back the fact that his mom called him out for being high, which must mean either Donna did not know as well or she deliberately did not tell him.
"It did…" She hums, quite lost in thought, seeming far away from the moment right here. He has the overwhelming urge to really have a conversation with Donna, no running away for once and no chance of interruptions. With a plan in mind, he quickly swerves the car around and changes direction.
"Where are we going?"
"I want to show you something." He smiles softly as he securely navigates the street of his old hometown. After a few minute's drive, they end up at a parking lot on a small hill, right underneath a big oak tree and overlooking a park and the Boston skyline. "We're here." He unbuckles his seatbelt and she follows suit, thinking they will leave the car, but Harvey just turns to fully face her.
"So… what exactly is here?" She glances around, suddenly nervous but also curious energy bubbling up within her.
"This…" he points to the big tree in front of them, "...is where I paddled with my bike to when I first found out about Mom and Bobby." He glances up at the crown of the tree. "Climbed that tree and hid up there for hours… I felt something was wrong… but at the time had no idea what it was. I just knew keeping a secret from dad was not something I wanted to do."
"Harvey..." she softly murmurs, her voice alone spilling the regret and hurt she feels for young Harvey, while she takes his hand in hers. Telling him without actually telling him that he does not need to continue, but he shakes his head and goes on.
"It has become my safe haven ever since. Any trouble I had, I'd just head up here, sit in the crown of that tree and clear my head. Sometimes I would watch people, wish for what they have or dream about a better future… and sometimes it just calmed me down being here on my own, nobody knowing about this. It put things into perspective being so high up and being able to see the sky." He sighs softly.
"That's when your love for skylines started?" she wonders, remembering how she had various better-suited penthouses searched for him, but in the end, he chose the one with the best views, similar to his office.
"I guess, it's a sign of how small and insignificant some things are… even oneself just plays a small role." He shrugs.
"Who knew Harvey Specter could get so philosophical?" Donna muses, her head leaning against the seat, having followed his view while he explained, but now turned sideways to look at his profile, dimly lit by the sundown happening.
"Must be the space cookie talking," he replies and turns his head, seeing her shocked expression. "Yeah, my mom was very abundant that we should not get more high," he chuckles.
"I'm so sorry." She hides behind her hand, an embarrassed huff leaving her. "Maybe now's a good time to tell you that we've been snacking on the wrong cookies the whole time… and that actually made me forget to give the right ones to your mom," she whines and Harvey just laughs, taking her hands and pulling them away from her face.
"I'd call this a win either way. We were pretty high and chill, the evening was a win and we're here, slowly getting sober." He smiles. "Could have gone a lot worse, but... I still want some reward cookies." She laughs at that and shakes her head.
"You're an idiot." The endearment she used just for him, showing their connection took a strengthening from this evening as well.
"I know." He smiles and looks back at the tree, thinking back to what his mother said. He had always been an idiot concerning all things Donna and hopes being here will bring him new realization on how to stop that.
"I've had a place like that too," Donna admits after some minutes of comfortable silence. "I never had to drive anywhere though, in our house before we had to move because Dad lost our money… I would always go up into the attic, sit by the small window and people watch. Later, when we moved… and when I was older I would go onto the roof of the apartment complex we lived in… Just sitting there, feel the sun and breeze on my face… for once not needing to pretend or to read anyone... to not guard myself," she admits and gets quieter towards the end, drifting off completely.
"I'm sorry," he whispers.
"You don't need to..."
"Yeah, I do. You've been reading me forever and had to guard yourself because I was stupid and not ready."
"Harvey..."
"No, Donna, please let me finish. I mean I had an idea of what 'more' meant, I panicked..."
"And I should maybe have just straight out said it, instead of wanting you to read me like I do all the time..."
"Well, I've had plenty of times to take steps before that, it's not on you... it's on me. But… I couldn't risk what this place means…" The confusion on her face is evident, so he takes a deep breath and takes that step he has been dancing around and running away from. "Don't you understand? I haven't needed this place ever since I met you…" He manages with so much emotion in his voice that it cracks, his eyes glassy and he is very sure that is not an effect of the space cookies.
"Harv—" Donna's voice gives up on her as the tears stream freely down her cheeks, dripping on his hands, which are still tightly holding on to hers.
"There's a thousand what could have been and what if's, but I really need to know what can be? I might be going out on a limb here, but I'm done hiding and done being an idiot and maybe it's the only time I'll ever truly listen to my mom's advice because I can't—" He rambles on and on, but she shuts him up as her lips meet his. The initial shock is replaced in seconds with such fervor as hands interlace and bodies pull each other closer. Moving ever so slightly to get a better angle as the kisses shared become teasing. Bottom lips caught between teeth, licking across the sore spots, soon followed by tongues stroking against another and battling for dominance. It is everything and nothing at once, and still it is not enough. A short break to catch their breaths is Donna's chance to have the upper hand. She quickly swings her leg over and straddles Harvey in his seat.
"Donna—" His hands settle automatically on her hips to steady her, but she just shakes her head, cups his face in her hands and pulls him back in a feverish kiss. They had talked enough, this was long overdue.
"I want you... this... and for there to be an us," she murmurs between kisses and it is his nod that confirms everything, the us, further conversation delayed to a later time, and the agreement that no words were needed now. Despite the previous hesitation, Harvey wastes no time, running his hands under Donna's sweater, pulling her closer, while she uses his distraction as an advantage and grinds against him. Soon, one by one, their clothing is pulled from their bodies and pleasure is taking over. Teasing and slow are non-verbally communicated to be for a later time. Now is all about fulfilling their desperate need for one another as they become one. The moment they become one, time stands still. Their eyes locked on the other as all barriers fall away from them, eyes full of love they have been denying themselves for too long but are finally allowed to show. His hands glide down her back, over her sides to her hips, while hers run through his hair, down his neck and shoulders to his chest. Both reveling in the feeling of the other's skin under their fingertips, and then the need takes over as he guides her first move, and the intense pleasure they feel from it becomes a chasing game. In a matter of minutes, they become a frantic mess, pumping, thrusting, grinding, anything to chase that high while wanting the other to be pleased first. Love bites along their necks, squeezes of thighs and shoulders, leaving trails of scratches and pulling ever so slightly on his hair when it is there, the high and earth shattering moment, him not far behind as he pulls her down and in a searing kiss.
The high slowly fades as the sweat cools their skins but neither wants to move and lose the connection, so they stay seated like that, basking in the afterglow while smiling like idiots at one another.
"So, we just did that…," Donna muses, tracing her finger over his facial features, no real bite behind her words as she just smiles at him.
"...like some horny teenagers." Harvey chuckles.
"...in public ...and even your safe haven." Donna snorts and shakes her head.
"Well, at least it has another good memory for me now." He smirks.
"You're an idiot."
"Yeah, well you know what you got yourself into." He shrugs, pulling her closer again into a deeper kiss. "Now, as much as I love basking in this afterglow with you, maybe we should get dressed," he suggests and already pulls their discarded tops closer. In their franticness nothing much got taken off, just pushed now, so redressing was a quick task. However, before Donna can settle back in her seat, Harvey scoots in the backseat and pulls her with him.
"HARVEY!" She chastises him, but hums when he starts nipping at her necks and cuddles her close.
"I was thinking we could get those cookies now… maybe have that conversation." The lopsided grin he shoots her makes her laugh.
"Alright." She takes the cookies, originally meant for his mother. "No more space cookies, though."
"Why not? The outcome is pretty fantastic." He pecks her lips quickly while snatching a cookie from her hand. And that's how they find themselves in the back of the car, happily munching on non-space cookies, basking in a blissful afterglow and conversing about a bright future ahead.