"Ugh! Again!"

It didn't take Ymir long to realize the harsh and tough approach did not work on Krista. She planted herself in the ground, tucked into a fetal position. Her baton laid at her side. "I—can't."

"Oh, really? This is the type of soldier you wanna be?" She felt like yanking her up by the arm, "goddamit, Krista. I'm trying, but you're making this extremely difficult."

Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, and it immediately made her feel like a piece of shit. "I'm sorry.. I'm trying. I guess I'm just too weak."

"Weak?" The brunette repeated, hissing at her hesitance. She was already crying, so it couldn't be made worse. "You are not weak. Weak-willed, that's the word for you. This is why you lose. Stand up for yourself! Come at me with all you've got!"

"I.. don't know how," Krista's knees wobbled as she pulled herself to her feet. Her hands shook as she held her weapon.

"Like this!" Ymir swung at her forcefully, eyes full of a hatred that she had never seen before. "What are you doing?! Don't look away! Protect yourself!"

A scream pierced through the air as she thudded to the ground.

"Get up, now!"

When she didn't move, Ymir used the wooden baton to tilt her head back, causing their gazes' to meet. "I won't tell you again. Get up."

"I'll never be like you.." Krista choked out, desperately pleading with herself to obey. "I'm no good at this. You're better—at sparring, at being a leader.. being a teacher. I'm just not strong enough, okay?"

The taller of the two girls knelt down, so that her face was inches from the blonde's. "Quit telling yourself lies. You are strong. Or else you wouldn't have come this far. Do you wanna know what your problem is?"

"How did you.."

"Krista," Ymir's tone softened, and she offered her a hand. "you need to start believing in yourself. Believe in yourself like.. like I do. Okay? You have to do this. Or else, you're not gonna survive."

A newfound confidence gave her enough nerve to retake position, using both hands to steady her baton. "I'll do my best!"

The sound of wood smacking echoed through the field, not far from others practicing the same routine.

Clack—fall. Rise. Brace. Breathe. Clack—steady yourself. Regain your senses.

Krista tried to block, attack, and strategize; however, she failed to do them all and was beaten every time. She was hardly a match for Ymir. Her tiny stature and lack of upper body strength didn't exactly help, either.

"So, um.. how did you get so good at this?" She asked during a break, after catching her breath. "were you.. trained for this?"

"I had no formal training."

"That's so crazy," She almost didn't believe her, but she had no reason to think otherwise. "You're incredible. You could be part of the top ten."

Maybe she imagined it, but the suggestion didn't seem to impress her.

"It's more instinct than you think, Krista."

"I know you're right, but.."

"Trust yourself," Ymir stared ahead, half-lidded eyes refusing to look at her. "You outrank the majority of these fools in personality alone. You can outrank them in combat, too. If you just listen to me, and forget about the past."

She could feel herself pull back, wondering if she truly could.. reluctance, dashed hopes, lack of faith, weakness and all. "Do you really think so?"

"I know so. And I won't rest until you know it, too."

She suspected that it would be immediate. The powers she stole would be returned to their rightful owner, or perhaps—owners'.

Was she brain-dead? Why did she choose to go back to such a hell? She must have been beyond stupid to look past a potential future with Historia. It was a decision that she still struggled to come to terms with. A new, fierce war raged inside of her. She hated herself more with every passing second. I'm the world's biggest joke.

"You're not stupid," Bertolt had told her, "still.. what you did was—unbelievable. You could've left us to die. A part of me still wants to ask.. why didn't you?"

I should've. Why didn't I? Ymir cursed her own actions once again, grimacing as steam penetrated through flesh and bone. It felt inherently wrong, what she did. To leave her behind like that. Right when they were finally getting somewhere. "I.. don't know why. I guess it was mostly just—the guilt of it all."

Reiner looked as if he wanted to confine her, like she would change her mind after pledging obvious loyalty. "I always thought of you as ornery, I'm not gonna lie. But you saved us. You have repaid your debt."

She scoffed, because she knew that wasn't true yet. "It was my choice, after all. In the heat of the moment, you never really consider the consequences." Her skin burned feverishly. She was exhausted on top of light-headed.

"We thank you."

They graciously bowed in front of her for what felt like several minutes.

Ymir felt a twinge of remorse and sadness eat at her, their gratitude bringing her back to a place she never wanted to go back to. This decision was definitely going to come back to bite her in the ass.

And for what?

These two puppets? Their homeland? Her homeland? A life where she was forcibly disposed of, then unknowingly freed from.. She could not make peace with the fact that they had also, albeit unconsciously, saved her.

"You know what this means, don't you?" Reiner crossed his arms, hardened eyes watching her like a warden. "We cannot guarantee your future."

"I'm not stupid," Ymir spat, contemplating any alternative option. It was too late. She could never return to any former way of living. She had no choice but to accept her fate. "I willingly came as your prisoner, so I know exactly what this means—for me."

"I am sorry," Bertolt visibly faltered more than usual, turning his gaze to the ground. "for what it's worth... you're stronger than me. Probably the both of us combined."

Stronger.. mentally? She could see it. But, physically? She knew better.

Reiner released a huge sigh, plopping down in between them. "Before we go back, I have to know something."

"Can't promise I'll answer, but what is it?"

"Did you see.. any memories of the one before you?"

Oh yeah, the friend of theirs. Ymir seemed to ponder for a moment, shutting her eyes. She had no idea how any of it worked before it actually happened. How could she? "Not many."

The Armored shook visibly, determinedly trying to compose himself. "Please.. can you tell me anything? About Marcel. I just have to know, dammit. It's killing me."

"Why is this so important to you, anyway?" She figured that she deserved to know, especially after all the shit they had endured. "was he your boyfriend?"

Bertolt held Reiner back from her somehow, flailing about to keep them apart. "Please, stop it, Reiner! We need her."

"I apologize. I understand the need for humor in a situation like this one," He calmed at these words almost immediately, breathing through another calming huff. "Marcel, he—he wasn't supposed to die that day."

"What are you saying?"

"I.." Reiner settled for momentary silence, looking as if he were going to be ill. "It should have been me."

"Not him?"

"Instead of him."

"Marcel sacrificed himself," Bertolt reiterated, a pained expression on his face. "he's also the reason Reiner became a warrior."

"So, you owe this guy," Ymir felt a bit bad about her earlier jab, but not enough to apologize. She wondered if she would have adopted his split personality, had that been the case. "I owe this guy."

"Well, in hindsight, it wasn't your fault. We were brought together for a reason."

"Maybe," She agreed, looking up at the same sky that had been the first thing she saw during her awakening. "Or maybe it's all bullshit."

"What?" Reiner's guard upped itself as he towered over her threateningly. "The stuff you said before.. that you'd be our souvenir? That you'd come quietly? We're waging everything on you, Ymir. You couldn't have been saying all of that for our benefit. Are you really telling me that you're having second thoughts?"

"Reiner, it's only natural," Bertolt did his best to extinguish these flames, "I know we're able to trust her. She didn't have to do this."

"I stand by my word."

They appeared to be a mixture of disbelief and conflicted, staring at her like they forgot she was there.

"I only ask.. that you do me this one favor."

Still—second thoughts? Of course. Stuck in.. a particular long-lived fantasy. Of a reality where she had no worries. A place she would never go. A love that she would never have.

Ymir knew it was wrong to have such selfish hopes—even then, if she weren't bound by the future.. she couldn't think of Historia ever having her.

Nevertheless, she found herself relentlessly craving, dreaming, needing.

No others, no Marley, no Titans, no Walls, no more punishments..

Sleepy and dim eyes fluttered open wearily, scanning the room for another presence. She let her arm fall to the other side of the bed, finding the usual open space.

The half-open window let a slight breeze in, overlooking their spacious and rural farm.

She was always a late riser. By choice, of course.

Her bones crack like an old woman's, tiredly throwing on her gown and stumbling down the steps. The pressure of her knuckles worsened the grogginess of her vision.

"Morning, sunshine."

Ymir's spirits immediately lifted at the sight of an angel before her, looking as if she had stepped straight out of a fairy tale. She gave her a small grunt of acknowledgment before complimenting, "Good morning. You look—...nice."

The white silky negligee moved about her frame perfectly as she made her way over to the table. How could someone so flawless and softhearted even exist?

"Oh, stop it," Historia blushed hysterically, fumbling with their dishes. "I made you breakfast. Sausage and eggs. I hope you like it."

A quaint smirk flashed across her face. "Only if I can have you for dessert."

She gathered herself subtly, ignoring her lover's blatant assertiveness. "You also look well. Bedhead suits you, I think."

Ymir raised her hand, gently cupping her cheek from across the table. Her darker complexion did a good job of hiding her own crimson tint. "I appreciate—all that you do. For me. For us. I just.. don't think I tell you that enough."

She ran her fingers across the back of her palm delicately, offering a modest smile along with a soft whisper. "You're in a good mood today."

Her scoff didn't offend, but it was met with expected sarcasm. "Aren't I always?"

"Honestly, I'd have to disagree," Historia picked at her food, doing almost everything with ingrained cautiousness. She became more sure of herself around Ymir. She found more of a voice, she could feel a certain change.. for the first time in forever—she felt safe. She wanted to express her beliefs, concerns, and finally allow her emotions to be heard. She could finally do so in a way that seemed normal. She grew—for the better. "you're cranky. We both know that. But I.. want to keep doing things for you. It's not like I'd rather be with anyone else. You accept me—for who I am. You've shown me that it's okay to be who I really am. The least I could do is the same."

"Historia Reiss, I think I fall for and more for you each day," Ymir loved her to the very core, driven by her own wishes and the timid, yet gentle conduct of the woman sitting across from her. She was the best gift. Her favorite person. One of the few who could understand her.

"You may not say it enough," She reached across the table, opening a free hand. "but I know. I get what you feel—emotionally. I can't think of a time when you weren't there for me."

"I don't know what I'd do without you," Ymir fist slid into her grasp, subconsciously beaming at the warmth of her aura and unconditional fondness. The thought of sharing her with anybody else made her worry—insecure, neurotic, uneasy. She couldn't lose her. She was the only one who cared.

"You can be so sweet when you wanna be," Historia said, brushing her fingers over hers.

"I probably say this too much.." Ymir felt like they were having entirely different conversations; however, she didn't want to waste the moment. "but, I love you. I love you so much."

"Don't be ridiculous," She flashed the cutest smile ever, melting everything in her line of sight. "you say it a normal amount."

"It might have taken me a while to admit it.. but just know, no matter how many times... that I mean it."

"I could never get tired of hearing you say that."

"I'm—glad, because I'm going to be saying it for the rest of my life."

Her laugh lit up the room before she got in under control. "I love you, too."

A fuzzy feeling Ymir regularly experienced nowadays took over her mind and body. She had never been happier. She didn't know what happiness truly meant until she met Historia.

"Please.. wait for me."

Her mouth went slightly agape at these words, surprised and taken aback by her sincerity.

"I will. I promise."

She thought of her in her final moments. She wondered how she was, what she must be doing—how long it would be until they were reunited. Just her face was enough to give her the strength to go through with it. She told herself that she'd understand. It was the only solace; the one thing she could look forward to.

"What an impressive name for such a pitiful woman."

Ymir nearly had a last minute change of heart. She wanted to fight; for her, for Historia, for them.. she wanted to break out of those chains and go out kicking and screaming.

But rational and complacent she was.. there was nothing that could be done, then—except pray to the gods that she would one day find peace.

A/N;; The final season of AOT is breaking my hearrrtt ;-; ugh. I know this was originally intended to be a one-shot, but I had some more ideas so yeaahh. I hope y'all liked it. I love feedback. Thanks for reading :d