Chapter 1. Her Expression Reminded Me

"Well, I'll be damned," Hiratsuka-sensei thoughtfully puffed a cloud of smoke while raising her brows and staring at nothing in particular, "it finally happened. Hachiman Hikigaya, antisocial extraordinaire, has fallen in love. God help us all."

That's right. Me sorting stuff in my head clearly wasn't enough, so I had this bright insight to share my thoughts with the only adult I knew who would listen. As a result, here we were sitting at the glass coffee table in the teachers' lounge, with Sensei having just nicely summated the whole conundrum it took me a week to solve.

Wonder if I was getting dumb actually.

That aside, there was something in her words that made me flinch.

"What makes you think I'm in love?"

"What else should I think then? Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, pretty sure it's a duck." Sensei put out her cigarette in the ashtray and curiously eyed me. "Don't tell me you're too ashamed to admit it because the fact breaks your hardened loner persona."

Yes, I did trust her, but explaining the whole Orimoto thing was a bit... no. Just no.

"I..." I paused, sighed, scratched my head, sighed again for good measure and finally continued: "I don't wanna say it aloud until I'm fully sure."

"Have confessed to someone before and regret it?" Sensei saw something on my face and immediately backpedalled. "Sorry, sorry, won't pry."

Fine by me.

"Anyway..." I hesitantly picked up the previous conversation, "You sounded surprised."

"Sure did, yeah. I mean, I wanted you both to help each other and I'd really wish you become friends, which you thankfully did-"

"Yukinoshita begs to differ-"

"-pretty sure it's a duck and keep quiet when others are talking dammit!" She started tapping her foot in irritation, then stopped. "So yeah, love and all that is a separate matter entirely. But, if you want my opinion..." Sensei crossed her legs, leaned back and clasped her hands on her knee, "Well, go for it."

Long silence followed. I really expected Sensei to talk me out of the whole ordeal.

"Just like that?"

"Yep."

Silence followed again while Hiratsuka-sensei was lighting another cigarette.

"I don't know zilch about relationships." I finally said.

"Neither does Yukinoshita." Sensei shrugged. "Nor do I. You know, generally, word of advice: if someone says they do, they deserve a hard slap on the face."

"But you had quite a lot of them-"

"Mhmm." She wisely nodded. "My point still stands."

"Then maybe you should learn more your...self..." I trailed off after seeing Sensei's twitching eye.

"Another word of advice, Hikigaya. Just for you, out of generosity." She forced a strained smile. "Learn when not to push it. In fact, it will come in real handy when you start dating girls. So they, you know, won't beat you senseless."

"Frankly, that's your specialty. And Yuigahama's. Maybe also Kawasaki's." I gloomily recounted. "By the way, Yukinoshita never tried to be physical with me."

That totally made her superior to you all- oh wait, she didn't have to. She hurt in other ways. All Yukinoshita women did. Probably ran in the family. Nevermind.

"Hmmm, I see what you did there," Sensei's smile became way less strained and more mischievous. I promptly ignored it.

"I just don't think it's a good time for Yukinoshita." I then carefully continued. "She now has to live with her sister and I really don't know anything about what's going on there."

"That's a valid concern," Hiratsuka-sensei nodded. "This may not be a good time to start a relationship. But, if you really think hard about it... there never really is a good time for a relationship. Like, you know... Maybe you've seen that overseas drama about a spy fellow who was rejected by his agency. His life was basically solve a major problem, solve another major problem in parallel, then deal with his love life, yet then do something about his family... you get the idea. What I wanna say is, we all are pretty much the same minus all the cool spy stuff. That's just how it goes."

I heavily sighed.

"It's not like I'm like that fellow. Where's even the guarantee it will work out?"

"Yeaah, that's the hardest part, Hikigaya." Hiratsuka-sensei chewed the butt of her cigarette. "How do I put it... There's no guarantees. Ever."

"Thanks. That's reassuring."

"That's just how it goes." She solemnly repeated.

"So you encourage me to do something without any guarantees. Awfully insistent even."

"I have an incentive to do so," Sensei replied in a little too serious tone. "Do you know that our great country is on a steady birthrate decline which will inevitably lead to a demographic catastrophe? At times like this all the responsible people can't help but resort to desperate measures. And both you and Yukinoshita are two geniuses among those to potentially give birth to an ultimate ruler who will lead Japan to prosperity and world dominance again!"

She then looked at me and almost swallowed her cigarette as she started laughing.

"Best Kazumaface ever! You're awesome! Totally worth it!"

Yep, I'm Kazuma.

"Glad to hear that," I darkly replied trying to bring my face back to normal. I didn't do it on purpose, no, really, I didn't.

"Alright, alright... whew. " Sensei had finally caught her breath. "I have this theory... All people in the world are like jigsaw puzzle pieces. Most are compatible, may as well say interchangeable, like in those sixteen-piece ones for little kids. People like you and Yukinoshita though, you belong to a different one. Sorta like those with a forest by the lake under a bright summer sky. And you both are supposed to fit somewhere in the middle of the sky portion. So, uhhh... My point is, you're too unique and never fit anywhere but together with each other. Sure, you can cut off the parts sticking out and repaint the piece, yeah. Normally it brings a lot of pain but alright, knock yourself out if want it that badly. Though I suggest you at least try someone who fits first. By the way, these lake and forest jigsaw puzzles are the best gift to someone you hate. They'll sure remember that. For life."

She lightly tapped on the glass surface with her fingers before speaking again.

"There's also another thing. You don't have much time, really. Most probably Yukinoshita will study abroad for the next year, I heard talks about it even before she enrolled. New country, new faces, new opportunities. New someone to change her. Remember what I talked about back then in December? Yeah, was talking about this. When she comes back- if she comes back- she may become a different person entirely. I know what you wanna say. You have a snowball's chance in hell of trying to oppose her mother. Even if you start dating for, what, less than two months?.. Yeah, about two months. You'll then have to enter a long-distance relationship afterwards. I know how those go. But... but... there's this 'but'..."

She chewed the cigarette butt and suddenly leaned over the desk, closer to me, with a gleam of grim determination in her eyes.

"Snowball's chance in hell is still bigger than no chance. That jigsaw puzzle you belong to is too unique. The changes you made in each other are too significant. I see that. I have been seeing that the whole year. You're both more wholesome now. Friendlier. Happier. You're not strangers to each other anymore. Give it a shot. Even if it doesn't work out, even if you will shudder at a mention of her name for years after you part... just... I know what I'm talking about. It's still better than the other way. I..."

Sensei stopped mid-sentence, then heavily leaned back into her sofa. Several seconds which felt like minutes later the massaged the bridge of her nose.

"Sorry. Probably said more than I should have." She laughed bitterly. "You're not the only one to have a history of regretting a whole lot of stuff. I really sounded like I was pushing you into some sort of a melodrama for shits and giggles. Sorry again."

I mutely nodded.

"I... Just don't wanna sugarcoat it for you." She finally continued. "A cynical boy falling in love with a pretty girl from the most screwed-up family in the 'hood. No way in hell would it end up normal."

"Figured that much, yeah."

"So will you?.."

"Yes," I firmly said, surprising even myself. "I will."

Hiratsuka-sensei took a drag and looked at me with squinted eyes.

"Changed a lot alright." She nodded to herself, puffing a big cloud of smoke.

It's not that I changed. I simply had come to the same conclusion eventually, about that "nothing ending up normal" bit.

My youth romantic comedy really was wrong. No surprises here.

One last thing left though...

"There's..." I uttered thoughtfully, "There's also Yuigahama."

"What about her?"

"I'm..." I hesitated. "I'm sure she feels something for me too..."

Her stare hardened.

"Pick one, ladykiller."

"I have already." Why would I come for an advice otherwise? "Just... what should I do about her?"

"Gently turn her down. What other options do you have?"

"I could make a harem, I guess." I shrugged.

This time Hiratsuka-sensei at least managed to put her cigarette on the tray before almost rolling on the floor laughing again.

"Ohhh jeez. Hachiman Hikigaya the Mighty Harem Master." She held her sides, her laugh never stopping. "Confident as all hell he can handle two women. You're such a fun lad today! Will probably compensate all the cigs I've been smoking all the time!"

I really meant that as a joke, Sensei. No need to kick me while I was down.

She straightened up, wiped small tears out of her eyes and sighed.

"You sure you can even handle one? Older experienced people regularly try and fail. Just saying."

"I know, I know, "I looked aside, unable to return the gaze. "That'll leave her heartbroken."

"Hikigaya," Sensei said after picking up her cigarette and fixing me with a stare. "Jokes aside. Serious time. One broken heart out of three is still way better than three out of three. Yeah, how do I put it... Ah, right. Remember Haruki? You wanna be like Haruki?"

I paused.

"N-no."

"Good." She nodded approvingly. "Glad my relevant contemporary references hit home."

Is it me or did she stress "contemporary"?.. Somebody take her! I won't even do that instead anymore!

"Are you sure she will be okay?"

"She will. People heal, Hikigaya. Just give it time. And take care of yourself and Yukinoshita while you're at it."

Well, that wrapped it for today.

"I think that'll be all then. Thanks, I guess," I rose up. "For everything. Never really thought you'd be that patient with me."

"No biggie," Sensei shrugged and took another drag, her eyes looking somewhere far away. "Had a feeling it would be like this. Aaaall the way back when I was herding you to the Service Club..."

And there I had it, my newly found resolve to push forward. Well, maybe not so much a resolve as so many things to overcome that my brain gave up and hung a huge "Que Sera Sera" sign on the door.

With these thoughts I opened the clubroom door while thinking of basically what to do next.

"Evening, Hikigaya-kun."

"Hikki, where have you been?"

One introverted bookworm greeting me softly, one ditzy airhead halfheartedly pouting at me. Our normal usual Service Club. A safe harbor of serene stability no matter what next dramatic stunt we all would perform.

At least, I really hoped so.

"Yeah, umm... Guidance councelling. Sorry for not notifying." The best lies are the ones where you're not even lying. Technically that makes the truth the best lie. Huh. "The best lie is the truth". Gotta write it down somewhere. One sophisticated philosopher, me.

"Bummer. And here I was aiming for your cookies," Yuigahama smiled brightly and pushed my saucerful of snacks to me.

I received my Pan-san mug and nodded thanks to Yukinoshita, who gave a brief nod and a smile in response then returned to her seat. I took a second to look at her with some more attention than normal. She looked as usual to me. No "Hug Her and Whisper Soothing Words" to evoke from me today. Which was good, because I needed the better part of this evening for my favorite pastime: procrastinating, thinking and making plans.

Now, mug was on the desk nearby, the book was in my right hand, my chin was in the left. I just needed to turn the pages periodically so as not to raise suspicions.

All good? All good. Let's plan the crap outta this like the monster of logic I was.

Now, if I wanted to do something together with Yukinoshita, the next logical step would be to inform her I wanted to be more... romantic? I'd hope (tentatively), and not so bluntly anyway. Closer? Sure, but not quite. Physical? Uhhh no, bad idea.

Why did it all have to be so hard? Alright, Let's settle on "not just clubmates" for now, for my own sake.

So, I wanted to inform Yukinoshita about my intentions. How is this normally done?

According to my observations, the simplest straightforward way was just to approach her and say aloud "please go out with me". Possible locations included her classroom, clubroom, school corridor and somewhere on her way home.

If I were then to assess the situation and elaborate on locations' pros and cons further, I'd come to a conclusion that no way in hell I'd do something like that in public. We'd both die of shame. Hell, I want to die of shame as I'm writing these very words! Not to mention there were unaccounted Yukinoshita's classmates, my classmates, Yukinoshita's fanboys, Yukinoshita's fangirls, Yuigahama... and maybe even Haruno-san.

God, who did I want to go out with? It was one angry Komachi away from Romeo and Juliet. Couldn't even be Hikoboshi and Orihime because those were at least technically alive by the end of the tale.

Haruno-san was also another matter entirely. A totally different beast, if you might. With "beast" being underlined twice for importance. After knowing Yukinoshita's older sister for so long I couldn't even identify her in a brief and precise manner. Claiming to support, yet endlessly testing. Understanding, yet pushing buttons seemingly out of boredom. Manipulative and doing everything to reach her goal, yet sad and somewhat... broken. She was a dark horse, one hell of a wild card.

Which side was Haruno-san on? Their mother ordered her to move in with Yukinoshita; what was she supposed to do besides living and obviously assessing her sister's state of mind? Did that also include stalking her? Checking her phone? Having long talks just like they did to me in elementary school? I shuddered at the thought.

That "stalking" bit made me pause too. Nowadays she probably wouldn't even need her parent's resources and connections: installing a GPS tracker on the target's phone was more than enough to later pester them with uncomfortable inquiries.

The question was: would Haruno-san go that far? Did she thoroughly follow her mother's presumed instructions or did she quietly sabotage any attempts at control and actually let Yukinoshita be as free as possible given the circumstances?

Knowing her it could be both. For all intents and purposes I could safely assume her modus operandi was "For the Greater Lulz".

Fine then, let's be paranoid. Slowly and carefully invite a healthy bit of paranoia into my mind.

Now, given my healthily paranoid state of mind, where would I take Yukinoshita for a date?

...

Now, let's set aside my healthily paranoid state of mind for a minute and be utterly bewildered by the fact I was going to take Yukinoshita on a date.

...

Hachiman Hikigaya, taking Yukino Yukinoshita on a date.

...

Again.

Hachiman Hikigaya, a loner who until recently couldn't even communicate with girls properly, was planning to take Yukino Yukinoshita, school's most beautiful Ice Queen, on a date. Did you hear that roar from the depths of hell? Hello to you too, dear existential angst, long time no see.

What had my life become? Or was it possibly what great people thought when they were about to do great things? Alexander Eiffel looking at a building site of his tower, Edwin Aldrin about to step onto the Moon's surface, Hachiman Hikigaya planning a date... One small step for humanity, but one giant leap for Hachiman...

Fine, fine. Date location.

Where would I take a girl who was being watched on? If she indeed had a bugged phone, I'd be busted no matter what I'd do. I thus had no choice but to assume her phone wasn't bugged. While we were on the subject, I also had to assume Yukinoshita wouldn't be tailed or under surveillance at school either.

With that being said, downtown Chiba was the most obvious choice, so I rejected it immediately. Too many privy eyes who knew her (let's be frank, no one cared about me), not to mention too many people in general. If I knew something about Yukinoshita, it was that she handled crowds as badly as I did.

Downtown Chiba complications also extended to basically all of the Keio line up to probably Funabashi. Add to that most of the eastern part of the city along the monorail, so everything up to Tsuga was out too, while the rest up till Chishirodai was too far away.

How come it was so hard to hide one pretty girl in a city with a population of one million(as of February 1, 2016)?

Further north was Tokyo, but taking an express train to reach even Asakusa would take a better part of an hour. Keeping in mind we both had to skip the club meeting to minimize the suspicions that barely left maybe an hour and a half. And crowds. Downtown Chiba had nothing on Tokyo's bustling hive.

North by north east was Inbanuma lake. Beautiful landscapes, lake view, mountains in the distance... and also an hour ride from school. Strike that.

All that was left was Chiba's south. Machinery plants, parts of Tokyo port... Yukinoshita didn't seem like a fan of industrial landscapes. Neither did I. Strike that.

I was out of options. That meant I needed to take five to procrastinate some.

I flipped a page and took a sip from my cup. Even lukewarm tea still had all the nice sourness, faint sweetness and softly bitter aftertaste. How does she do it, I wondered. Making a carefully calculated lazy head turn I looked in the girls' direction. They both now were engrossed in their activities: reading and twiddling with the phone.

Time to shift my gaze to something else to avoid being caught. She definitely would be checking me out the corner of her eye. Too many occurrences when she commented on my actions before.

...Wait, a wild thought occurred. Why did she do it?.. Not now. Begone, wild thought. Important procrastination in progress.

Behind the girls was the sight of Tokyo Bay slowly burning in the sunset. Would probably be nice to take Yukinoshita to the shore, have a seat with a bottled coffee and combini sandwiches and just quietly enjoy it somewhere, now that the snow was gone and it became considerably warmer... haha, wishful thinking already. What a dope I was sometimes.

Though... hold that thought.

How about Inage Seaside Park right between the school and the shore? Taking Yukinoshita there was so stupidly bold it went all the way round to being genius. Enough greenery, unobstructed view of the sea, right there under everyone's noses. To say the least, daring.

Maybe even too daring. Though the thought brought up two other options.

One was Kasai Rinkai park. That was just two stations from school on Keio line, though given the risk I'd rather take a bus... yep, two separate bus routes to get there. We had been there already on that fateful triple "date" with Yuigahama, but the park still was big and not often-visited enough to get lost effectively.

The other one was Mihama Koen near Yukinoshita's very home. Even less chances of meeting someone from our school and even more chances of meeting Haruno-san. What was less dangerous? Hahaha, silly me, both equally were, because Haruno-san would know either way eventually. And then our days would be numbered and the only choice left would be to enjoy what little time we had.

Things to Do in Chiba When You're Dead, heh. Hehehe, hahahahahaha. Sigh.

Alright, Inage Seaside Park, Makuhari Bus if something goes wrong, then either Kasai Rinkai or Mihama Koen. Seemed like a plan. Nothing else came up anyway.

Where does one study about choosing secret date locations for rich girls with strict parents? I needed it!

One last part remained: to actually invite Yukinoshita and survive a crushing rejection argh no what was I thinking bad brain. I was doing all this planning and calculations definitely not to be rejected. Why would anyone deliberately invite women to a date to get rejected? Some kind souls on 2chan actually suggested that to loners like me. They weren't met with warm reception.

Seriously though: how?

Phone message was out of the question since her phone could be checked and, most importantly, I still didn't have her number nor mail address. Despite knowing her for close to a year. Yes, we were that bad. No salvation for us.

What else... Service Club's email address? Yuigahama didn't really check the laptop without us around. Or did she?, the healthy bit of paranoia quietly whispered. Even if she didn't, Yukinoshita somehow had to be specifically informed about a secret message awaiting her. And if I thought of a method to do so why wouldn't I just use it to say "please go out with me"?

What else? Morse her a message with a projector? Even if Haruno-san by some miracle didn't see it, where would I get a projector for that?

Write something on the soccer field? What would I write and how would I evade inquiry?

What was I even thinking? My intuition kept suggesting there should be a simpler way for the ordeal. If only it would be kind enough to just point at it for stupid old me...

Try harder, Hachiman. Weren't it you who always praised yourself for thinking out of the box?

Alright. Somewhere in the back of mine and father's bookshelf was a bunch of Western spy fiction books. Dad was especially fond of those for whatever reason. I honestly tried reading them, but it was that time when I finally got me Vita-chan, so I didn't last long.

Some concepts taken from those stories did manage to plant themselves inside my head, though. Such as the concept of dead drops.

Despite its sophisticated name, the concept was rather simple. Person A and Person B want to share something valuable in a way that wouldn't lead to them getting caught. They can't communicate directly, and they shouldn't be seen together. Enter dead drop: both persons determine a location, Person A leaves the valuables there, then some time later Person B comes and picks them up. Simple, reliable, untrackable unless the info is leaked. Just what I needed.

Now the problem was narrowed down to determining the location to drop a note for Yukinoshita. Her apartment mailbox was obviously out because Haruno-san. No, no, no, don't bother even trying to assume Haruno-san wasn't like that. She was guilty until explicitly proven otherwise.

That left school. Specifically, a place where she couldn't miss a note, one where she would not being seen taking it by Yuigahama and accessible by me without suspicion.

Oh, right. Her shoebox.

I'd just have to arrive at school earlier than usual tomorrow to drop the damn note for her to pick up. That was simple, reliable and pretty much untrackable save for maybe an overly suspicious Komachi. But Komachi could be dealt with later.

Alright, here I had the final plan: drop a note into her shoe locker-

- just like every Japanese student would do, as shoe lockers were used for that very purpose by literally everyone and their mother since probably Meiji era. And they didn't have to read spy fiction for that, nor they had to scurpulously calculate their every move. That was just obvious to them.

Rarely if ever had I wanted to headdesk so badly. All that thinking out of the box to put a piece of paper in the box. Went well in line with the rest of this afternoon. Funniest day ever.

Did you know that the scariest thing in the world was having a blank sheet of paper before you and trying to write something meaningful on it? Right at that very moment, when I was sitting at my desk at home, pen in hand, trying to figure out what to write in a note for Yukinoshita, I understood that fully.

This blank sheet of paper emanated menace and dread by just lying here, on my desk, with me unable to do anything to it.

Stupid sheet.

Just what should I write there?

"Dear Yukino Yukinoshita,
I have been admiring you for a very long time. Please go out with me. I'm awaiting for your answer in the clubroom.
Sincerely Yours,
Hachiman Hikigaya."

Just as the last word formulated in my head I made a perfect headdesk. An ominous feeling in my heart suggested that wouldn't be the last one today. Scratch that.

"To Yukino Yukinoshita, bearer of repressed romantic feelings.
You are thus found guilty of shutting down your heart and not acting out on its desires. You are condemned to me taking your heart tonight."

Wait. That was a calling card, not a letter. And a very thematically inspired one at that. No good.

"Dear Yukino Yukinoshita,
You know who I am. Let's meet up at"
...ummmm...
"at Hananobijutsukan bus station to share our feelings with each other.
Sincerely yours," stop. Enough.

Scratch that. Thrice.

"Dear Yukino Yukinoshita,
Tomorrow one fine sunset will occur. The sun, slowly melting in the Tokyo Bay. The waves, dyed in its blood, will slowly roll to us and die, only to be reborn far, far away. I cordially invite you to enjoy this maginificient spectacle tomorrow at Inage Seaside park.
Sincerely Yours,
Hachiman Hikigaya."

...

"Dear brain,
Pray tell me how you come up with this corny crap.
Sincerely Yours,
Hachiman Hikigaya."

That right there was a clear sign there was enough mental exercises for me at the moment.

Yawning, I exited my room and went downstairs.

The dark living room was empty: parents were late at work, which was frighteningly often as of lately. Komachi wasn't home either, probably out with her friends or spending time with that pillow bug. The only thing preventing me from doing something nasty to Kawasaki Jr. was his brooding older sister, but those couple times I've seen them together with Komachi made me mellow on him some. Mostly because I saw how she worked him to the bone. My overly conscious inner voice was pleading to feel at least somewhat sad for a fellow man being ridden, while the devil on my shoulder laughed his arse off and told the inner voice to shut up and not ruin the fine comedy.

Actually, the living room had one other inhabitant besides me. The dark mass on top of the sofa suddenly sprouted ears, raised its head and looked at me with mild interest. Hi there Kamakura. Just in time.

I approached the wary cat and reached out my finger for him to sniff. He did so, acknowledged me and exposed the underside of his chin for me to scratch. In full accordance to the Cat Communication Protocol I dutifully started working my fingers through his fur. Kamakura closed his eyes and leaned his chin into my hand, then some time later turned the other side to be scratched there too. I did so, then put my hands under his belly and successfully rose the furface to my chest. Kamakura let out an irritated trill but otherwise made no attempts to get away. Good, because I fully intended to utilize him for some paw-squishing.

Just as reached out for his fore paw, the furface in my hand has triggered some thoughts. Namely, that Yukinoshita liked cats and I, for that matter, could skip all this "Sincerely Yours" stuff and just draw a cat on the envelope. Would also do a double job of distinguishing me from all the other suitors. May as well add Pan-san's picture for good measure.

For that matter, was there anyone left in our school who would still be sending love letters to Yukinoshita, now that even first years knew her and it was still time till April and new enrollment?

... Oh, right. Me.

For that matter: why did I agonize over the contents so much? She would see the cat and Pan-san and immediately recognize it was me. Or Hayama, Yuigahama and Haruno-san.

Some further distinction then... Pink scrunchie? That would narrow it down to me and Yuigahama, in which case she'd probably come to the meeting spot either way. Pink scrunchie it was then.

At this rate I could write the rest of it in pictograms. (cat) (pan-san) (scrunchie) (bus) (sun) (sea) (heart) (heart) (heart). The last part was sarcasm, of course, please don't think weird things of me.

And if I was easily identifiable, all that was left would be just a set of instructions to a meeting place.

Thanks Kamakura, you were free for today. Laying the grumbling feline down I immediately returned to my desk. The blank sheet had no chances now.

"
* Please meet with me within a week.

* We'll have to skip club that day so as not to raise suspicions.

* Announce it at the nearest meeting for me to prepare.

* Keisei bus away from school, then return using Makuhari route to Hananobijutsukan seaward stop.

* Probably a change of civilian clothes for less recognition.

* Note with a teacup if an emergency comes up.
"

The last bit just suddenly occurred to me as I was writing instructions down. Seemed like my brain had kicked into high gear.

To closely quote Ancient Greek kings: "Let the spy games begin".

For once something was easy.

Komachi had only gave me a brief wondering look as I headed out half an hour earlier than normal. Out of four people in the lobby no one paid any attention, so after switching my shoes I strolled past her row as casually as I could and discreetly slipped my envelope there.

Only after walking into my class I let myself exhale in relief.

My part was done. Now all I had to do was wait. Which, according to those spy books, was the most frequent and tedious part of the game.

Upon entering the clubroom together with Yuigahama I was presented with Yukinoshita noticing me, briefly gasping and hastily staring elsewhere, then quickly (to her credit) composing herself and greeting as if nothing happened.

"My apologies, there's is some sort of a family gathering on Friday," She addressed us, "I'm not informed of the details yet, just requested to come right after school. So, if you don't mind, club meeting on Friday is cancelled. My apologies for such a short notice."

"Sure, no prob." Yuigahama's tone didn't show any signs of concern.

"A'ight. Missed my slacking off on Friday anyway," I decided to add.

Her eyes darted at me, then she made an exaggerated sigh.

"No comment."

Just for the sake of it, later I covertly but thoroughly examined my cup after Yukinoshita returned it to me with her tea. Nothing was on it.

Friday as in the day after tomorrow.

Friday it was then.

I didn't even remember how I survived Thursday and the first half of Friday. The only thing that did imprint itself into my memory was the final bout of weakness and panic that almost overwhelmed me right in the middle of class. I was going to fail, Yukinoshita would arrive only to mock me for even thinking of that, maybe along with Haruno-san and Hayama, Yuigahama would intercept me and forcefully drag away, earthquake, aliens, Ancient Horror... I was put out of my misery by a teacher asking me something and the whole class laughing at my inept attempts to remember what we all were talking about in the first place.

Well, I could live with that.

School had ended, so I hopped on my bike and pedalled westward, then southwest to the freeway. That was the start of my normal route home. Except this time I stopped at Lawson on the way and grabbed bottles of tea, onigiri rolls and, after pondering for a second, two plates of chocolate, one milk and one dark. The tea then was carefully wrapped into my muffler in the bag. Should stay warmer that way.

Afterwards I reached the freeway, but turned south instead of north, to the port. After passing the crossing to school (half a dozen students in our uniforms, no familiar faces, phew), I turned to the bay again.

Just a little further. There it was. Hananobijutsukan bus stop. Our meeting place.

3:52 in the afternoon, no Yukinoshita in sight. If she indeed followed my instructions, she should be somewhere at Keisei-Inage walking to the transfer station. Twenty minutes, maybe thirty. Enough time to park my bike on a bike parking nearby, quickly go to the public restroom to change into casual pants and a dress shirt, grab one can of coffee from the vending machine and start roaming in circles.

Time went by. Two airliners had slowly crawled the sky across the bay, heading to Haneda. One bus arrived, no Yukinoshita inside. If the timetable was to be believed, next one would be at 16:28. If Yukinoshita wouldn't arrive with that one either, I'd wait for the one at 16:55. Then at 17:40. Then cycle home crestfallen and sulk for the rest of the night, skip club activities for whatever reasons, then slowly dive into depression. Let it never be said I didn't have contingency plans for every occasion.

Another airliner passed by. I noticed its white body with what looked like a blue stripe and red splash near its nose. My gaze followed it until it disappeared.

Something moving appeared in the corner of my eye. It was a rather chubby black and white cat leisurely crossing the road. Upon noticing me staring at it the cat then finished crossing the street in a hurry and disappeared in the bushes. Hey, I didn't mean it like that you sneaky furface.

Finally I heard the bus arriving. My eyes were fixed at the window beside the driver seat, where the people waiting to exit would be seen. In fact there was exactly one such person, and even from here I could see the long black hair and lithe posture.

It was her. It really was her.

The bus stopped at the station and I approached the front door. It slowly opened with a chime. Behind it Yukinoshita lightly tapped her IC card on the reader, which acknowledged it with a beep, then went to the door.

Then she noticed me. Faint pink blush slowly creeped over her snow-white cheeks. Big cobalt eyes widened. Elegant mouth slightly agape, her expression reminded me of a deer in the headlights. Just like in the saying.

I licked my lips nervously, trying to find some words. Behind her I caught a glimpse of the elderly driver watching us with growing irritation, clearly about to hurry us up so as not to be behind schedule.

I then did something I hadn't planned before, nor ever. Taking my hand out of the coat pocket, fingers trembling from practically palpable tension, I slowly outstretched it palm up.

Yukinoshita's eyes followed it; she clearly was trying to process what she saw for several agonizing moments, then quietly gasped.

And took my hand, and made me felt the electricity that made my body jolt, and carefully hopped off the bus almost right into me.

I was now looking at Yukinoshita dangerously close to my face. Behind her the bus driver's expression changed into one of silent approval. He playfully saluted to me before closing the door and slowly going off.

She arrived. She was with me. She was looking at me, with her eyes betraying apprehension and anticipation at the same time.

To hell with worries.

Que Sera Sera.