Chapter 2. And the World Exploded

It was only after the bus left I managed to stop staring into Yukinoshita's eyes and pay attention to the rest of Yukinoshita. "The rest of Yukinoshita"… Is that what I just said? Did I just lose the ability to speak coherent grammatically correct sentences?

Seemed like she did follow my instructions: frilly dark purple blouse and a pair of navy blue trousers adorned her features under the uniform coat she had partially unbuttoned, probably due to bus' air conditioner. Upon noticing my gaze she hastily buttoned it back.

"P-please don't stare, it's… p-please just don't."

"Sorry," I reflectively turned my head to the side.

"And… let go of my hand i-if you don't mind…"

"Ah… okay." I very reluctantly followed her request, feeling a pang of disappointment. My palm immediately felt the outside coldness. I had held her hand for less than a minute and was already missing it.

Take it again? Girls supposedly liked assertive men and, I heavily but firmly admitted, I got used to it faster than I thought. So what the hell-

-but it was Yukinoshita. She wasn't really like other girls. Maybe it would scare her. Maybe she wanted to touch me on her terms. I of all people knew how an unexpected touch felt like. As much as I wanted to do it… I had to wait.

"Those were quite peculiar instructions, I might say," my thoughts were interrupted by her speaking. "Disguise the meeting time, make a detour to arrive near the starting point… Even change of clothes."

"Couldn't be too careful," I shrugged.

"Oh." She felt silent. So did I.

As I was listening to the noise of the bay and cars passing by in the distance, I suddenly realised I didn't think it all through. For example, the tiny unimportant part of what I was supposed to say now.

"Lazy hack most of the time, yet suddenly careful and planning when the need arises…" She faintly smiled. "Typical you. I almost feel all my worries were insignificant."

"Sor-"

"Who do you think I am, Mata Hari?" She frowned, her voice obtaining that strangely cute intonation which emerged when she chided me. "I don't even know whether I should feel proud or annoyed by the fact you put so much faith in me. Do you know how nervous I was for those two days? It took all my determination to behave normally when Sister was nearby. I spent all Thursday evening peeking at Yuigahama-san for any signs of her seeing through me. And do you really think school was easy? That was the closest to my first ever scolding by a teacher since kindergarten. Do you even?.."

Yukinoshita stopped her fast yet perfectly articulated tirade with a miffed expression and made a very long tired sigh.

"In case you haven't noticed… I'm not really comfortable with those spy games of yours."

Awkward pause followed. Huh. So there were times when she was scolded too… Interesting thought. Later.

"Really didn't see any other way to contact you without anyone noticing," I uttered apologetically.

Yukinoshita looked at me, warily.

"Do you really mean it?.."

"Yeah. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for all this." I bowed for good measure.

"Stop with the bows… In fact… I don't mind." Yukinoshita blushed again. "I wouldn't come if it wasn't for you."

"Thanks… How did you know it was me?"

"Didn't you draw me and yourself on the envelope?" She tilted her head in surprise.

"What? Where?"

"What do you mean where? What about that cat and the Pan-san?"

I…

…what?

"Wait. You thought I was Pan-san? That was for identification! So you didn't throw it away like the rest of the love letters in your shoe locker!"

For several seconds Yukinoshita just stared. Then she blinked. Once, twice. After that she covered her mouth with her fingers, closed her eyes and started giggling.

"As a matter of fact… yes, yes you do look like Pan-san," She managed to say in between giggle bouts. "From a certain viewing angle…"

"Nice to hear it," I probably made a face again because a new giggle fit overwhelmed her.

"And as much as I would like to praise you for you drawing skills… I won't as it will inflate your ego even more…" She finally caught her breath and looked at me over her fingers still covering her mouth, playful mischief and amusement dancing in her eyes. Just like all the way back at Sengen shrine during the New Year ceremony. At that moment I could gaze into them forever, just like that.

Yukinoshita meanwhile unexpectedly shifted her eyes, looking at nothing in particular. Her smile slowly disappeared. What was going-

"Really now. You Inviting me… Unbelievable."

Yukinoshita put her hands away from her face and instead grabbed her left elbow with her right hand, her gaze still unfocused.

"P-please don't think I'm ungrateful or anything like that. I really am… I'm…" Yukinoshita closed her eyes and bit her lip. "I'm… just me."

What was it all about?..

"You probably still see someone I'm not before you." Another sharp sigh, still avoiding my eyes. "You're so much better. Smart, crafty, brave. Caring. Kind… as weird as it sounds, you're kind. Do you… really think I'm… worthy?.."

To tell the truth, I was expecting our meetup to start with some other things. Maybe Yukinoshita would tease me about daring to go out with her. Or tell me we couldn't ever be together because our families had a centuries-long feud. Or practically anything but her feeling so unspeakably worthless.

This wasn't the girl I knew. No, wrong: this was the girl I knew. But I also knew she was the girl I admired so much I basically broke all my habits just to go out with. There, deep down inside, somewhere. I couldn't say this nervous bundle of doubts before me was not Yukino Yukinoshita. It was in fact her, still at her darkest hour.

As much as I accepted her for her… I didn't want Yukino Yukinoshita to be like that.

"Yukinoshita…"

Her shoulders quivered a bit upon hearing her name.

"Please look at me."

Requesting someone not to avert their eyes, when I rarely did that myself. Was it a tall order?

For that matter, what was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to say it? Not some sweet nothings like "because you're special to me" or "you're the star of my life". Seriously, leave that to studs like Hayama, they were better at it. No, I needed to say something…

Genuine.

"Please… please look at me." I repeated. Yukinoshita finally complied, her eyes still betraying fear and doubt.

Slowly, carefully, I started.

"Yukinoshita… I had changed my opinion of you at least three times. I remember how much of a haughty smartass you are. Frankly I really could live without some of your insults. But at the same time I also remember how you never turned down a request. Or, even if the solutions were mine, you still came up with good ideas. When I saw you organizing the new year party, I felt…" I paused, struggling to try and find a better word, but gave up. "awe. I always liked your wit. I like how you're always composed, or quiet, or introverted, all that. I even like how much of a bookworm you are. Seriously, first time ever I can discuss things I've read with someone."

Yukinoshita bit her lip. The fear in her eyes slowly disappeared. I had to continue my monologue, to drive the point across, to the best of my ability.

"You requested us to help you stand on your two feet. I will comply… I want to. Because even if you're a coward sometimes, or don't know what to do about your family, or whatever. I still know it's not the normal you. You're smart and proud, and compassionate, and someone I…" I swallowed. "…I want to be with. I'm even willing to say cliche things like that, see? I want to be able to remind you're better than you think you are. And…"

That was the important part…

"I want to go out with you. You specifically."

Yukinoshita nervously fidgeted with the sleeve of her coat.

"Not even with Yuigahama-san? Or Isshiki-san?"

That caught me off guard.

"No. I never- wait. What do they have to do with anythi-" and then it hit me. "What are you, jealous?"

Rather novel concept, that one was. I needed some time to deal with it.

"Jea- I-I'm not jealous, why should I be jealous…" She stammered. First self-doubts, now being a tsundere.

Divine comedy, that's what my life was.

"I- probably. It can't be… I am jealous," Yukinoshita muttered with wide eyes. She opened her mouth, closed it, covered it with her hand, lowered her hand again. "Goodness. What had I been saying all this time?.. I never even thought I would be jealous of someone."

Apparently I had been bestowed a rare sight of an incredibly flustered Yukino Yukinoshita. Should I feel honored?　I probably should.

"So stupid…" She turned to me. "Hikigaya-kun."

"Hm?"

"Pardon me for… my words. I was very confused." She nodded to herself, likely gathering her resolve, and looked at me with a firm gaze. "I'm happy to meet up with you. Thanks for having me."

"Y-yeah…" Now what? Oh, right, I wanted to take her hand. So I probably should now.

Just as I offered my hand Yukinoshita suddenly took it with both hers.

"I j-just wanted to say I'm really glad I got to know you, and that I'm also happy you're someone I can discuss everything with. I promise to do my best with the request, and it's a joy for me that you would help."

The warmth and softness of her palms left me entirely speechless. I didn't even acknowledge her words at first.

"Uhh… R-right. Shall we?"

She gave me a smile, small yet bright and gentle.

"With pleasure."

Readjusting her hand in mine was both fleetingly easy and frustrating at the same time. Easy to touch her palm and just feel the warmth and her fingers gently squeezing mine in response. Frustrating to instantly miss the brush-like strokes of her slim fingers against mine once our palms were together. The sensations I've felt in such a short time all at once were almost making my head light.

We started slowly walking, trimmed bushes and park trees to our left, road to the right.

"By the way, you never specified it was a date," Yukinoshita spoke up as we were approaching the coast, with delightful teasing in her voice that almost coerced me to smile ear to ear.

"What do you mean I didn't?"

"You didn't." She gently shook her head with a playful smile, coughed into the knuckles of her free hand and cited with exaggerated articulation. "Ah-hum. 'Please meet with me within a week. We'll have to skip club that day so as not to raise suspicions. Announce it at the nearest meeting for me to prepare. Keisei bus away from school, then return using Makuhari route to Hananobijutsukan seaward stop. Probably a change of civilian clothes for less recognition. Note with a teacup if an emergency comes up.'"

Yukinoshita raised her finger with a serious expression.

"A note with a teacup. Opening parenthesis, 'Sic!', closing parenthesis." Her lips curled back into that small teasing smile again. "Our foreign intelligence really should be interested in hiring you."

"Whatever. Think of anything better to be used in front of others then, swellhead."

"How about your shoe locker?" Yukinoshita pointed out. "I doubt anyone ever would even think of searching there, not to mention insert secret letters."

"Very funny," I feigned irritation.

"Agreed," Yukinoshita nodded, "quite funny. Returning back to the topic though: nowhere in the text is the word 'date' present."

That made me pause.

"Wait, it isn't?"

"Indeed it isn't," Yukinoshita tilted her head, watching me rather coquettishly.

"Uhhh…"

In response she just gently squeezed my hand, fleeting sensation of her fingertips brushing against my hand.

"It's alright. I'm smart enough to figure it out, luckily for you. I do have to note I'm strangely relieved you hold almost more doubts than me, however."

"Uh-huh." I repeated her gesture, lightly tracing her hand with my fingertips. Yukinoshita threw a glance at it, slightly blushing. I could get used to that.

"Another confession to make," She continued. "That was the first letter in my shoe locker since I enrolled here. Apparently everyone knows me well enough to not even try."

"Oh. That's news to me. Meaning your shoe locker's as good as mine after all."

"On the other hand," Yukinoshita slowly replied, as if forcing a change of topic, "no threats or stolen shoes either, which is a fair trade-off, I guess."

"Yeah. I was very touched when you first told that story, " I recalled. "Almost made me sympathize with you."

"Oh my."

"But then you rejected my friendship proposal and my sympathies were back to square one." I smugly finished.

"Goodness."

"You don't feel very sorry, do you?"

"I will properly feel remorse, you have my word." She smiled politely. "Someday."

"If you say so," I sighed. "Now turn right, away from the pool."

We stepped onto the wide promenade. To the left was the beach with its canopies and lounge chairs, now empty. To the right was the park foliage and palm trees, their green color dulled till it would get warmer.

For now we were out of topics to discuss, it seemed, and were both just moving our feet along the promenade without saying a word. Strangely, I didn't feel awkward anymore. Months of quiet reading together probably helped. Having matched my walking speed to hers, for some time I was content just taking step after a step and watching the girl at my side.

Thick long black hair adorned sharp, slender, yet at the same time very soft features of her face. Serenity and cheerfulness now reflected in her dark blue eyes as she looked in relaxed curiosity at the bay, the trees, the bushes, sometimes back at me. I reflexively averted my eyes at first, but then started daring to glance back. That in turn made her avert hers, only to sneak a peek sometime later.

Her posture was straight, yet not ramrod-like: no signs of tension or anxiety at all. Long shapely legs, subtly emphasized by her trousers, took small measured steps almost perfectly upon an imaginary straight line. By the sound of her feet it seemed she stepped toes-first, as if quietly and constantly testing ground. A confident and curious cat slowly walking the familiar landscape.

Simply put, it was enticing. A very unique sort of enticing, different from, say, her sister's swaying gait, full of allure and danger, or many of my female classmates willing to imitate it to appear more mature.

A sight to behold, all day, any day.

Just as I located an empty bench near the shore line Yukinoshita spoke again:

"I have another question, Spy-san. Why this park? It's too close to school for comfort. Or is it not conspiring enough to go somewhere closer to central part of a city with a population of over one million? As of February first, 2016."

"One day we just went to LaLaPort for Yuigahama's presents and suddenly your sister showed up. Another day me and Yuigahama went to Parco for yours and suddenly the better half of your family was in a cafe nearby. I'm not taking chances."

"That was just two occasions. Two accidents don't make viable statistics." Yukinoshita's very expressive look told me the rest. 'And here I thought you're too smart for that' or somesuch.

"Sure, smartypants. Have you then thought about all our classmates on part-time jobs throughout the downtown area? You think they'll let it slide when they see us together?"

"Aren't part time jobs prohibited by the school regulations?"

"They are. No one cares. Well, maybe model students like you do…"

"Duly noted," she put her fingers on her chin and nodded.

"By the way, no cat cafes either because I have this sneaking suspicion you've visited all of them within Chiba prefecture."

"My, aren't you thoughtful," Yukinoshita rested her cheek on her right hand, perfectly mimicking a refined ojou. "On the other hand, just because I visited a place once I wouldn't mind visiting it again."

"And be distracted by cats. I know you will."

That elicited a very annoyed pout.

"I'm not that susceptible!"

"Sure, sure."

"How about we just go to one next time just to prove you wrong?"

That meant there'd be next time-

"That means there'll be next time?" Wait, did I decide to say that aloud? What was I thinking? I just tried to be flirtatious?! Oh for the sake of all that's holy. That was disgusting. I was disgusting. I've just ruined it all-

"Why would I say it otherwise?" Yeah, exactly, just as I thought- what?..

Yukinoshita's look showed honest surprise.

"Erm… huh," I managed to say. "Yeah. Sure. Alright."

"Did I say something weird?" She tilted her head even further.

"No. Uhh. Nothing weird. In fact that's good. Quite good. Yeah. Anyway, bench. That bench right there. Let's go sit."

Partway through my eloquent monologue I noticed Yukinoshita cover her lips with her fingers again.

"Yes," she replied barely containing her giggling, "let's."

After Yukinoshita sat on the bench I put my bag to the right of her and plopped next to it. It took me about five seconds to realize I'd better move it to my other side, so I could sit closer to her.

Time to check on tea and snacks.

"Peach green or milk black one?"

"Pardon?"

"The tea." I held both bottles in my hands. "Which one?"

"Milk please," Yukinoshita replied after a pause. She carefully accepted the bottle, nodding thanks. I proceeded to fetch two onigiri bundles.

"Salmon or, ermmmm… salmon?" It took me couple moments to process what I just said. "I mean, they're both salmon, didn't mean it like that. Honest."

"Wonderful." She shook her head hiding a grin. "Such a difficult choice… After much internal struggle I have decided to pick salmon."

She took the bundle from me. Our fingers brushed against each other. I would keep noting every occurrence, it seemed.

"Figured we'd need some snacks since we skipped the club meeting."

"Thank you. You really are considerate when you want to be."

Silence followed again. I opened up my bottle and took a sip, feeling a tinge of bitterness beneath the peachy flavor and keeping an eye on Yukinoshita. She meanwhile was opening up her onigiri ("how does it… oh, a stripe") and started quietly eating it in small bites. Much as I didn't mind watching her eat (memories of Fushimi Inari had resurfaced in my head) I decided it wasn't polite. Instead I leaned back onto the bench, feeling her shoulder with mine, and shifted my attention elsewhere.

The beach was almost empty this time of the year. Only several more people were sitting here and there, quietly observing the sea. It was about quarter to five in the evening and the sun was already starting to set, painting the western sky red and orange. There was no wind now, only small waves on the water's surface sloshed gently when reaching the shore. Time after time airliners slowly flew through the sky, guided to Haneda by their pilots.

I finished my onigiri, folded the wrapper and put it into my bag, then reached for the chocolate. Breaking both plates into chips on my lap with just one hand was a bit challenging, but then Yukinoshita just quietly helped me by holding it. I nodded thanks and took a chip. So did she.

Leaning back into the bench again I realized that, after an insomniac week and three days of decisions and being a badass spy (note the mental quotes) I　finally started to unwind. Requests, family situations, other people, future, perspectives… Nothing mattered right now. Just me, the sea and this quiet girl peacefully sitting by my side on a deserted beach. Is this the appeal of dates and why people enjoy them, I wondered. If yes, then I changed my mind about the whole date thing.

I reached for the opened chocolate wrapping only to find out there was the last chip left… and Yukinoshita was also reaching for it.

"Go on." I suggested.

"N-no, you go on."

"I don't mind."

"Please take it."

"So stubborn… just take it already."

"I have already told you you can have it. Why are you arguing?"

"Why are you?"

We both paused with our outstretched hands. I looked at it, then at Yukinoshita. She apparently did the same.

"Are we just bickering over chocolate?"

"It seems so."

"Huh." I scratched my head. "Ah, got an idea. How about I just toss a coin? Heads, it's yours."

"Do you know how?"

"I've seen people do it countless times," I shrugged.

Taking my wallet I fished out a ten yen coin. Remembering the movies I've seen, I put it on my thumb's nail and flicked it. Instead of hopping straight up the coin deviated its trajectory and flew somewhere behind the bench. In an elegant arc and spinning all the way.

Yukinoshita followed it with her eyes all the way to the ground. Afterwards she shifted her look at me and simply put her a palm to the face.

"This probably is my most fun day in a while," she remarked, "and you being unable to properly toss a coin is strangely fitting… Oh goodness. This also is my probably least stressful day since forever. Should we have had it done way earlier, perhaps?.."

I shook my head.

"Nah. Probably wouldn't be able to."

"Possibly so. Fine, that piece is mine." She sighed and took the chip, eating it and finishing up her tea bottle, then putting it in her bag. After that she stretched, her back arching and taking all my attention for several seconds. I couldn't really help it. On the other hand,upon rethinking it, nope, I couldn't.

"I-it's probably will get cold soon so we'd have to leave," I decided to switch topic. "Since we haven't been to the park yet and all-"

Oh damn.

"I think I really should've taken you into the park first." What kinda dumbass was I? "Sorry about that. Didn't even occur to me."

"Stop it," she softly said. "It didn't occur to me either. In fact I don't mind staying here for some time more."

Good thing she wasn't a normal girl. A normal girl would probably roast me about it the very first second she stepped out of the bus. If Isshiki and Orimoto were anything to go by anyway. Or Yuigahama. Damn, I actually did have enough dating experience! Not that it would make me feel better.

"Huh. So… to the park?"

She nodded with a reassuring smile, one of the so many today.

"Alright."

Just as she started standing up I decided to offer my hand, to which she responded by putting hers into it for support.

We briefly stopped by trashcans to throw our bottles and wrappers away. Somehow standing together with Yukinoshita putting our trash into appropriate bins felt more close than it should be.

I held her hand in mine with one swift and increasingly familiar motion as we entered the park road. She stepped closer to me; I felt faint warmth of her shoulder again.

We were now walking in trees' shadows, their canopies obscuring the setting sun. I checked my time: couple minutes past five. An elderly couple walking to the small pond, someone walking their dog, some zombie-like salaryman sleeping on the bench.

The sparrows chirping somewhere in the bushes were suddenly startled by the familiar black and white cat approaching dangerously close, flying away in a chaotic yet consistent formation. I didn't even need to turn my head to know Yukinoshita was now closely tracking the cat. Yep, I was right: slightly widened eyes, precise head movements, subdued body language.

Yukino Yukinoshita was a cat. What was I supposed to do with the fact?

"Oi."

That shook her out of a trance.

"My apologies. What did you say again?"

I made a very deep, very profound sigh.

"I say, how about we go to that pond over there?"

"Oh. I agree then."

"You sure you'll pass the Cat Cafe Test?"

"Cat Cafe Test. Such words." She sent me a frowny glare. "Do you have so little faith in me?"

"You're trying to look for that cat right now. Now are you?.." She coughed into her hand again to hide her embarrassment. "So the answer is yes, I have that little faith in you."

"Oh dear."

The pond's muddy spring water was calm, apparently protected from the wind by the trees. I slowly guided Yukinoshita along the trail ("do you mind?.." "I'm good"), taking note of the small fence poles on the other side. Those looked old.

"I　want to apologize for not giving you the chocolate that day," Yukinoshita suddenly spoke. "I panicked so much, it's a miracle I didn't run away right there and then."

"Wha?.. Oh, those." I remembered that time. First she was interrupted by Yuigahama, then Haruno-san showed up, perfect timing as always. It's as if she was tracking Yukinoshita all the time. "By the way… Are you sure she's not tracking you?"

"As much as I wanted to joke about you and your spy games again… no, I'm not sure." She massaged the bridge of her nose. "I always had a suspicion she tracks my phone. When I first thought about it, around last September, I switched to a new one. But then, when Sister knew where I was again, I remembered she dropped into my apartment for one reason or another and assumed she tampered with my new one too."

"Have I already told you your sister's plain scary?"

"No, but I saw how you acted around her." She smiled. "To tell you the truth, you're the only one to be scared of her at first sight. Besides me, of course."

"Would that mean she's tracking us now?"

"She may. But fortunately you picked up a location close to school, so I can just say we had a club activity outside. And since I can't turn it off or use a Faraday cage to block the signal as it will raise suspicions, I had to settle for stuffing it into my bag and muffling with cloth to block microphone and camera."

"Fara-what?"

"A Faraday cage. Any metallic mesh or foil wrapped around the transmitter will block the signal completely." Yukinoshita shook her head. "You really are bad at sciences."

"Yeah, well. And you said you're not suited for spy games."

"I had been living with Sister for all my life. Even someone as unsuited as me would pick up at least that much." Her face was becoming gloomier by the second. Sorry! Sorry, Yukinoshita! I didn't want to bring you down! I'll change the topic immediately!

"Ummm… I don't mind the missing chocolate. Not really asked for it-"

"-And she ate it on the second day after moving in. She simply opened the fridge, took it and condemned with some champagne." If it was even possible, Yukinoshita's face was even gloomier now, with slight hints of what really sounded like approaching hysteric fit. "Just like that! She doesn't even ask me when she raids the fridge on a regular basis! And that's on top of me making meals for us both! And-and she puts those idiotic aroma candles everywhere! And scatters her clothes! At least she puts it into the washing machine afterwards… But then her belongings are nearly all around the apartment! I-I can't even feel safe in my own room because she apparently doesn't have the basic decency to knock! I have to lock the door and then listen to her nag about me not trusting her! I'm afraid to return to my own apartment! If-if she wouldn't be out half the week drinking somewhere I-I'd…"

Oh god. She was starting to hyperventilate.

"Yukinoshita." I squeezed her hands.

"…I'd probably have to beg Yuigahama-san to stay at her place-"

"Yukinoshita." I hesitated, but then said to myself "oh, screw it" and gently patted her head. She gasped, looking at my hand, then at me, then back at my hand. Finally she simply pushed her forehead into my shoulder. Not knowing what to do next, I kept slowly stroking her hair (just as I thought, really soft) and trying to calm down my beating heart.

"No… No, I'm not managing…" She weekly muttered, her head still on my shoulder, grabbing my other hand with both hers. "P-please… please, some more. Please… Thank you so much for taking me out. I'll get better… just a little more…"

"It's alright. It's alright." I numbly repeated while consoling her. There never really is good time to start relationships, Sensei's voice echoed in my head. No, there probably wasn't. "You know, you could just tell. At least to Hiratsuka-sensei if you don't trust me and Yuigahama. Which kinda hurts but that's beside the point."

Yukinoshita fell silent.

"Sail to this island heart…" I heard her whisper.

"Come again?"

Yukinoshita slowly moved her head away from me, still gently stoking my hand with her palms.

"Please forgive me this moment of weakness. I… I really needed it."

"No prob."

She weakly smiled.

"I'll make you chocolate some other time. I promise. As well as to share my problems with you."

"Yeah, sure."

"Since you're leading the date up till now, would you mind a recommendation?" Yukinoshita straightened her hair with both hands, visibly calming down.

"Alright. I actually haven't planned that far."

"Oh. That's a shame. I like when you're planning."

"Eh, if you say so-" Wait. Wait. Wait dammit. Was that a compliment? "-and stop saying embarrassing things, woman."

"Maybe I don't like to be the only one embarrassed," Yukinoshita reasoned. "Back to the previous topic… There's a small obscure cafe at Shin-Tsudanuma I've noticed when I was there. Not inside the Parco, just at the corner near the station. Would you mind going there?"

"Do we have time? It's at least an hour long ride from here."

"Fortunately, today's one of the days Sister is out drinking. And by 'out drinking' I mean somewhere in Tokyo. She won't return by midnight."

"Huh. Well, fine by me. Shall we?"

"Gladly."

"Inagesengenmaeee, Inagesengenmaee. Please take care when exitiiing," the bus driver's half-whispering voice droned, lengthening the words as they all did. Yukinoshita perked up and closed her book; I did the same.

Upon exiting the bus I offered my hand to her again, which she accepted; a new habit I was only glad to pick up. This way, hand in hand, we arrived to the platform.

There were several groups of students from different schools. Normally no one from Soubu boards on this station, preferring either Kaihin-Makuhari, buses or just biking home. Two-tone station chime rang periodically, with nothing else interrupting the sound. The sun had almost disappeared by now, the dark sky behind our backs showing the first stars.

"The regular train heading for Keisei-Tsudanuma will soon arrive. Please stand behind the yellow line."

Me and Yukinoshita stood first at car entrance markings on the platform, with other forming a line behind us. The arriving train slowed down and opened the doors. There were two free seats which I planned to take before all the eager schoolkids ruined the competition but then I noticed two elderly women going for it. Turning back and scanning the car, I noticed all the other seats were taken.

"I can manage four stations, but thanks for worrying about me," Yukinoshita apparently noticed my concern.

"Really?"

"Really." She sent me a disapproving look. I just shrugged and settled for the middle of the car's upper railing.

The doors closed with a chime and the train was set in motion. Yukinoshita reflectively pinched the hem of my coat. Did it become a habit of hers already?

"Ummm… If you don't mind, you can just hold my arm properly."

She hesitantly nodded and slowly put her hand around the crook of my arm. Yet another sensation I'd want to get used to today.

"The train is now entering a steep turn and will sway. Please hold on tight."

Yukinoshita's reaction to the　swaying train car was to suddenly grab me with both arms, now practically hugging me. And here I had yet another. And another as, without thinking, I　navigated my hand between her back and hair (tickles) and held her closer. Yukinoshita tensed under my arm, but then suddenly let go of my elbow and hugged me back. Not "practically" this time, but fully.

Here we were, standing in a train car rushing somewhere as I was holding the railing with one hand and having Yukinoshita tightly wrapped under the other. Her putting her arms around me, leaning into my chest and trustingly laying her head on my shoulder; me feeling her body warmth and weight, her thin waist and petite figure; it all piled up on me at once like an avalanche. Her stray hair was tickling my face, intoxicating me with the apple aroma of her shampoo, making me want to bury my nose into it.

"Kemigawa. This is Kemigawa. The doors on the right side will open."

Should I say something? Should I resist the strange tingling wave of joy slowly rising in me?

"Next station is: Keisei-Makuhari, Keisei-Makuhari. Please hold on the provided railings."

I probably shouldn't.

Dark landscape passed by behind the windows, evening lights showing up here and there. Sometimes railway crossings brightened up the dark background with the flashing signal lights, their bells lowering pitch as they disappeared. I felt Yukinoshita start stroking my back with one hand, and the feeling sent pleasant chills down my spine. I did the same: slowly shifted my arm to reach her back and tried tracing it. That made Yukinoshita shiver and lean in even more.

"Keisei-Makuhari, this is Keisei-Makuhari. The doors on the right side will open."

Raise a hand, touch the back, trace down, repeat. So simple, so entrancing, so enjoyable. Just don't forget to support her when the train sped up or slowed down.

"Makuhari-Hongou, this is Makuhari-Hongou. The doors on the left side will open. Please exit here to transfer for JR Soubu Main Line."

One station left. I finally gave in and lowered my face into her hair, savoring the ticklish feeling and silky texture.

"You'll ruin my hairdo," I heard her saying slowly and very softly, her voice acquiring a strangely mellow and relaxed tone I've never heard before.

"You have a hairdo?" How weird, my own voice now was exactly the same.

She rubbed her face on my shoulder.

"Not the best question to ask a girl."

"Mhm." I didn't find any strength in me to argue. Better to stay like that.

Forever.

"Keisei-Tsudanuma, this is Keisei-Tsudanuma. The doors on the right side will open. Please exit here to transfer for Keisei Main Line and Shin-Keisei Line."

Already?..

I'll be honest: the only reason that I managed to calmly dislodge myself from Yukinoshita was the conviction I could hug her again later. Besides, we still were holding hands; three hours into our date and I stopped freaking out, just silently enjoying every minute of contact. And as we walked on foot to Shin-Tsudanuma, part of me noticed with barely contained joy that Yukinoshita made no attempts to break it either, which in itself was both pleasant and so, so strange.

Cafe Ingrid was located on a crossing inside a small labyrinth of narrow alleys near the Shin-Tsudanuma station, tightly fit between a supper bar and a traditional restaurant. I opened the wooden door to the cafe and remembered just in time I was supposed to let Yukinoshita in first. She accepted the gesture with a nod and a smile, now very natural and expected.

Cafe's interior could be generally described as 'vintage'. Neutral beige walls were decorated with wooden shelves containing weird books, flower vases and one old camera. Six sturdy tables with big comfy sofas were lined at the walls and the window. Slow jazz was playing, providing soothing ambiance.

Aside from us there were two housewives quietly discussing something over their coffee and a waiter, college second year or so judging by his appearance.

"Welcome! A table for two persons, correct?"

I nodded.

"Please sit here then."

We followed him to the corner table. I let Yukinoshita sit first, then sat by her.

After the waiter brought the menu we both started scanning it.

"Oh, nilgiri tea. I'll settle on that."

"Mhm. I'm fine with blended coffee then. Some cakes maybe?.."

"I suggest this gingerbread layer cake. Looks delicious at least."

"Sure." I turned to locate the waiter. "Uhh, we're ready to order."

By silent agreement we both resumed our reading while waiting for our orders.

I checked the clock. Way past eight. Probably time to head home after the cafe.

But that could wait.

Our order arrived; I sipped my coffee and found it decent. Yukinoshita did the same with her nilgiri tea.

"Quite good, for a cafe we just stumbled upon," She clarified, seeing my questioning look.

"Huh." Not knowing what to do next I decided to try out the gingerbread cake. The cake was sweet and gingery, not enough to overwhelm but just there to taste.

"Not bad."

"Alright." Yukinoshita tasted hers too while returning to her reading. Seeing her I also leaned into the sofa and tried to relax. Which I succeeded at, enough to grab my book and read on to the slow jazz and dark March night outside the window, letting the flow of time go.

Sometime later I felt a weight on my shoulder. Yukinoshita leaned hers on mine and tried to rest her head on it. Just as I started to feel the ticking feeling of her hair she straightened up again and tried to tuck her hair away from her ear. Afterwards she tried to lean and rest once more, only to (very adorably) growl in frustration, sit straight and try to rest on me again.

"What are you doing?.."

"Trying to… lean… on you. Sorry… do you mind?"

I shrugged.

"No… I think it's done a bit differently." I turned my upper body to her and reached behind her shoulders. "If you don't mind…"

Yukinoshita carefully leaned into my arm. I pulled her closer, with her shoulder now on my chest and her head at the base of my neck.

"Better now?"

"Mhm. Much better," she squirmed a bit, trying to find the most comfortable position, then relaxed and picked her book. "So warm…"

"I thought you don't like close contact. I mean, you constantly push Yuigahama away…"

"Well… You're not Yuigahama-san, are you?" She teased.

"I can live with that."

Yukinoshita yawned into her hand, almost making me do the same.

"Tired?"

"A little. What time is it now… oh. Half past eight."

"I guess half an hour more or somesuch. Snooze away."

"Why, thank you for you generous offer."

Keisei-Inage met us with chilly cold air and crickets sporadically chirping somewhere nearby. After riding here entangled in each other the chilliness was especially startling.

We slowly approached the Inagesengenmae bus station. Yukinoshita would board the bus to ride home while I'd ride the train back to Kemigawa and go home on foot.

We stopped and held each other again on the empty bus stop. The fence and thick trees of Inage Sengen shrine wordlessly observed us, with the small houses on the other side of the street shielding us from the world.

"Thank you for today," I heard Yukinoshita whisper. "It was enjoyable. I never quite thought dates were like that."

"Not sure they all are. Not that I have much experience."

"Neither have I."

I blinked.

"No one ever took you on a date?"

"No one," She shook her head, more like rubbing it in shaking motion against my chest. "Is it strange?"

"In your case? Probably not. Why was I even asking…"

She quietly laughed into my chest, then raised her head, looking at me with amusement and something else I couldn't pinpoint exactly. Warmth, maybe.

"Your eyes."

"Hm? What's with my eyes?"

She gently reached for my face with her hand.

"They're absolutely fine by me," she finished and caressed my cheek. My heart skipped a beat.

"Eh, if you say s-"

Yukinoshita caressed my cheek again and tiptoed and reached my lips with hers and the world exploded.

At least, that's what I felt at that moment. Not many clear memories of it in my head, just sensations overwhelming me. Her soft warm lips awkwardly finding mine, me doing the same. Our noses bumping into each other before we both remembered to tilt the head. Her fingers on my cheek, gently stroking it. Me firmly holding her with one hand and stroking her head with another, then just cupping her face, gently, as a mix of joy and thrill and everything else at once took over me. My sloppy attempts to also kiss her nose, her forehead, her chin; her just closing her eyes and slowly but surely enjoying it. Her grabbing my palm, kissing and rubbing her nose into it. Our hearts beating like crazy, with me feeling hers through chest pressed against mine.

Next thing I remembered, we were standing, still in each other's arms, forehead-to-forehead, futilely trying to catch our breaths. And then kissing again, less sloppily and more steadily this time, making sure to enjoy every second of it. And breaking, and once more kissing.

"At least warn me next time," I slowly said, holding her close, her head on my shoulder again. After some hesitation I added: "…Yukino."

She tensed under my arms.

"P-Please don't." She replied, then hastily corrected herself: "W-What am saying… I didn't mean it like that… It's… it's just what my family calls me."

"Oh. Then," I paused, "Yuki?"

She practically shuddered.

"… Say it again."

Gladly.

"Yuki."

She pressed herself into me even more, almost crushing me in her embrace.

"Yuki."

She practically squirmed in my arms.

"Yuki."

A soft gasp. She looked into my eyes again.

"Then… Hachi."

"I'd be fine with Hachiman, you know."

She shook her head, smiling in a daze.

"Too regal for you. Hachi. Hachi. Hachi."

I just caressed her cheek some more, almost ready to faint then and there.

"What does it makes us now?"

"A couple."

"Will you be… with me?"

"Yes."

"What about your family?"

Her face darkened.

"Not right now. For goodness sake, not right now. And not telling Yuigahama-san right now either." She rubbed her face into my chest, caressing my hand on her cheek with hers. "This all is just so… good. I want to enjoy it without a single care in the world. For a week. Just a week. Can you give it to me?"

"I will." I nodded.

"I will tell Yuigahama-san fair and square. I promise."

"I know. I'll be there."

"Thank you."

"So… when's the next?"

"Saturday. Sister will definitely be out partying. Say… four in the evening here."

"Will do, Yuki."

"Until next time… Hachi."

The whole road home was in a daze. Any time I closed my eyes I felt her lips and palms and body all over again, in details so vivid I may as well relive it right there with jolts piercing through my body and heart beating like crazy. I've read somewhere those were clear signs of a PTSD. I didn't mind.

"Sup bro! Why are you on foot?" Komachi greeted me peeking from the kitchen.

"Hey." I managed to reply. "Ah, that… I think it's at school."

"Huh… That's a first." She stopped cutting the cabbage and looked at me properly, frowning. "You're kinda out there too. Something happened?"

I shook my head.

"Hmmm?.. You're not hiding anything, are you? You know Komachi will be mad if you do."

I shook my head again.

"Nah, no good. There's something." She exited from the counter and approached me. "You're also kinda… like someone hit you on a head with a sandbag. Is it something ba-"

At this point she suddenly started sniffing.

"Is it me or did you use my bath soap?.. Nah, no way, you don't know where I hide it…" Komachi scratched her chin while sniffing me everywhere.

"Can you stop? This is ridiculous."

Instead she touched my forehead.

"Nope, not hot. Why are you blushing then?.. It's like you've suddenly been ki-" Komachi's eyes widened. "-kissed. Everything clicks together then. And by the smell of it… yep, Yukino-san. I remember that bath salt. Shampoo too. Aaaand," she nimbly picked something off my coat. "Nope, def not Yui-san's."

With a fiercely serious face Komachi showed me two thumbs up.

"Congrats on that, Bro. You finally did it. Komachi's so happy!"

"Komachi," I finally find enough resolve to tiredly reply, "just stop. I'm not in the mood for dealing with you right now. Can I… Can I just go sleep?"

"Ah." She looked aside, thinking. "Yeah. You kinda need to process it all, yeah… But you'll tell me eeeeeeverything tomorrow. Deal?"

"And you keep your mouth shut about it. Not a single soul." I looked at her, square in the eye. "Your Bro's entirely serious now. Don't complicate matters."

"That serious…" Komachi pondered, then beamed. "Will do! Nighto!"

"Nighto."

I didn't even bother undressing and just plopped on my bed. A maelstrom of thoughts was swirling in my head and I didn't have desire nor will to sort it out. Just now I wanted to sleep. And maybe dream of Yukinoshi-

Yuki.

Yes. May I dream of Yuki tonight.

A/N: Latter parts are best read to Tangerine Dream's "Love on a Real Train"