Chapter 7. I Want to Lead the Case, so to Speak, by Myself
One of the most pleasant things in my life, especially as of lately, was simply watching Yuki. She didn't even have to do anything meaningful during my observation bouts. Taking measured sips from her cup, slowly flipping the pages of her book, massaging the back of her neck with those delicate slender fingers while slowly tilting her head left, right, back and forth. Always in that order.
Or walking beside me and Yuigahama, her fingers elegantly holding the strap of her school bag. Or her many ticks: flicking her hair off the shoulder, touching her chin when thinking, massaging her temples when she really wanted to underline the exhaustingly high level of stupidity occurring before her eyes.
Small in numbers as they were for now, also appreciated were the moments of her curling up on a soft surface and tilting her head on the side to silently watch something. Or stretching after a long day, arching her back like so, raising her hands and interlocking fingers.
The most recent items in my precious collection of Things Yuki Did was slowly wake up from her slumber, awoken by our phones' alarm clocks, reach for hers and turn it off. Hiding back under the blanket was optional.
She would then rise up and do that oh-so-enticing back arching, maybe politely yawn into her palm and say something nice, like-
"Ow. Ow. Owowow. Ow."
Well…
Even if "Her Morning Awakening" now had a second version hereby dubbed "Her Morning Awakening When Thoroughly Beat at Work the Day Before", watching her still was a heavenly pleasure I wasn't going to share with anyone.
"Ow-owie-ow." Yuki meanwhile continued slowly fighting her body. After finally standing up she made several additional stretches; I couldn't help but watch her lithe figure bend and flex.
Just as she was about to take her uniform Yuki suddenly turned to me. Her expression immediately morphed into a frown; only then I realised I was smiling. Seconds later, though, Yuki smiled too.
"Umm… Morning?" I carefully asked, my smile for whatever reason beginning to falter. "Why are you grinning at me?"
Yuki's smile became even wider.
"Oh, nothing much. I'm just anticipating your awakening, is all."
"Very funny," I retorted. "Like hell I'm gonna give you a show. Watch- ow. Ow. Uggggh. Ow. Argh. I'm sorry I said that- ouch. You can use the bathroom first, I'll prepare breakfast- Owowow."
"Please do," Yuki nodded after having her giggle bout contained. "Don't forget to set the timer to exactly a minute 36 seconds. Not a second lower or higher. It's that exact timing when the bento's taste just blossoms with flavors."
"Suuure."
Some time later, after going through our morning routines (shower did help with all the aching), finishing our meal in sleepy silence and sorting out the trash we both took out bags and headed for the exit. Just as I was about to unlock the door Yuki stopped me.
"One moment. Turn to me please."
Mildly surprised, I did as instructed. Yuki then proceeded to fixing the collar of my shirt.
"Wha?.."
"Oh…" Yuki stopped and looked at me timidly. "Do you mind?"
"Nah, just… kinda sudden."
"My apologies… I just wanted to. I shouldn't?.."
"… No. It's fine. Keep going."
"Alright."
For some time I just stood there while Yuki applied finishing touches to my clothes. Straighten the sleeve, affix it on my shoulders, sort out strands of my hair, check the shirt buttons… While surprising at first, this was definitely pleasant.
"And done."
"Thanks." I paused, then added: "My turn."
"Ah… oh. I never actually thought you'd return the favor." Yuki nevertheless lowered her hands and straightened her back, a touch apprehensively. I carefully reached for the collar of her blouse. Don't think it would ever need straightening, but still. Afterwards I checked her blazer, sleeves and buttons. Gently touching the fore strands of her hair I readjusted them, letting them flow in front of her shoulders.
"I just remembered," Yuki noted slightly fluttering her eyelids at my touches. "Grooming is what many animals do to each other, to show affection."
"Well, they probably know what they're doing… Done." Overwhelmed by a sudden wave of tenderness, I drew her closer and touched her forehead with mine, my palms on her cheeks.
"Thank you." She covered my hands with hers, still standing close. "It is quite pleasant after all. Can we do it more?"
"Every morning."
"Settled." She closed her eyes and gave me a brief kiss. "To school?"
"To school. Ready?"
"Why wouldn't I be- bike riding." She frowned while letting go of me, but then shook her head and flicked her hair off the shoulder. "I won't complain. Let's go."
I was already in the saddle; besides me Yuki had just hopped on hers, affixed her skirt and tied her hair in a ponytail. Seeing her nod I pushed the pedal. Off we go.
While Google-sensei did offer a short road, it was leading along the most obscure and narrow streets this side of Valentine-doori; definitely not a place to get lost on your way to school right after relocating. I had to settle for a longer but more convenient route, which I was now leading Yuki along.
First we turned left from our apartment parking, then once more left, crossing the Keisei train tracks. Early morning sun cast long shadows and warmed our backs as we traversed the still empty street south. Almost no one here: this block was mostly izakayas and liquor stores and those wouldn't open until some six or seven hours later. As the road sloped down I eased on the pedals, letting the bike ride on its own and enjoying the pleasant relaxing feeling in my legs.
Convex mirrors on the road crossings showed Yuki following close; I kept looking in my bike's own mirror every hundred meters or so. She was holding on, steady and concentrated, looking at me for directions.
A flock of doves were the only inhabitants of a tiny park at a triangle crossing we were passing by; here two smaller roads merged into a bigger one. Next up should be a taller building which marked a crossing we had to turn left at. As if on cue, there it was: a big grey box with "Honmachi Central Building" plaque on it. Right besides was the crossing in question. I checked the sign beneath the traffic light hanging in the middle of it; should be "Honmachi 1-Chome" and indeed it was. Still on the right track.
After waiting for our light I outstretched my left hand, signaling a turn for Yuki.
For now, all we had to do was just ride on for quite some time till we crossed Ebi river. This now required some more pedalling. So it went in a steady pattern now: me pushing pedals and checking Yuki every half a minute or so. She was still there; even if tired, it didn't show yet.
Banks, bus stops, small offices, even smaller shops. Elderly waiting for their buses, students in various uniforms doing the same, occasionally someone walking a dog or jogging. I think I spotted familiar plaits and black blazers or our school; for a brief moment I wondered what their reaction would be.
The district was mostly quiet save for the distant noise from Keiyo toll road nearby. The sun sometimes shone through gaps in the buildings, not yet bright but painting everything reddish-orange. I kept pedalling, thinking about nothing in particular, maneuvering between pedestrians and letting buses pass. It all was on autopilot for me; I wasn't even that tired yet. Yet it wasn't quite like my lonely rides to school. Partly because everything was new and unknown and my mind couldn't help but notice all the details: shops' signs, covers over the sidewalks, parked cars with Funabashi plates unlike Chiba ones I was used to; it all kept me aware, unable to be distracted left to my thoughts.
Ebi river bridge came and went; for some time we rode along the same Keisei line tracks. The route became less exciting and more, weird as it sounded, usual, what with it being a straight line up to Makuhari.
Around halfway I decided to stop and take a short break for Yuki's sake. She frowned, but didn't say anything. Feigning a brave front, wasn't she: it was clearly obvious she was out of breath, and her legs were slightly trembling as she climbed back on her bike.
A bridge across Hanamigawa came into view and I couldn't help but sigh in relief at seeing familiar places. A brief look at Yuki soured the mood quite a bit: she clearly and obviously was out of breath this time. I signalled her to stop.
"What… is it?" She had to take pauses between words now. "I'm fi… fine, it's less… than a kilometer to school now… phew…"
"Actually closer to two and a half," I replied looking around me absentmindedly. "That's around halfway from my home."
"Oh…" Yuki's breath evened. "So you follow the river normally."
"Yep."
Silence fell. I finally remembered a bottle of water I took just in case.
"Here."
"Thank you… Let me drink just a bit," Yuki gratefully took the bottle and drank it. All of it. The whole 750ml mineral water bottle in almost literally one gulp, squeezing everything out of it like it was the last water bottle in the desert. After shaking it for the last droplets Yuki opened her eyes, lowered the bottle and stared at in some weird mix of tired disbelief.
"I… didn't even notice," She noted in mild wonder. "Of course I technically know that exercise requires water… but you honestly are the first to make me so breathless, thirsty, wet and sore in the bottom in a long time."
…Ah.
…Oh.
…As Mom likes to say: holy moly.
All I could do was just stare at Yuki. She stared back, wondering what was wrong with me.
One, two, three, four, five…
Her expression finally started changing…
…six, seven, eight…
And was becoming gradually horrified…
…nine, ten-
"P-please forget what I said! And don't mention it to anyone! And stop laughing or I'll bite you! Goodness gracious…"
Much as I was fully embracing the feeling of awareness over the general unfamiliarity of the world around me, passing the school gate and parking our bikes was some sort of a switch that just went "flip" and made everything normal.
It was almost exactly the same feeling that hit me when I returned to school from that eventful weekend. I had went through consoling Yuki who was thrown away by her mother just like that, suddenly moved into a new apartment in an unfamiliar part of town, took a job for the first time in two years… and the whole school just didn't notice. Everyone duly entered, listened to lectures, went through PE classes, participated in clubs and finally left to have fun or go study. For me it felt like returning home after I had been abducted by aliens.
Walking to the entrance with Yuki, my girlfriend Yuki, certainly didn't help matters. Not to mention this all was probably just as weird to her as it was to me. Thinking about that I inadvertently reached out for her hand only to touch it midway.
"I just thought I'd feel weird," She explained with a shy smile. "So you'd probably need some reassurance."
"Strange. I thought the same."
"Oh." She lifted my hand and gently kissed it. "No more hiding then. No more being afraid. Shall we?"
"Definitely-"
"You two! Hold it right there!" It was the least expected (and, to be frank, one of the least favorite) thing to be heard at the moment: Atsugi-sensei the PE teacher's harsh voice.
Startled, we both slowly and cautiously turned to the general direction of the voice, my palm still in Yuki's mid-kiss.
"What are you two doing?!"
"Ummm… Atsugi-sensei?" That was the only thing I managed to utter.
"'Atsugi-sensei' what? You're coming with me to the teachers' lounge now!"
"… that it directly violates the school regulation two paragraph seven: No romantic displays at the school ground. We are a prestigious school, and we have to both hold high standards of education and a strong code of conduct regarding our students. Those who graduate here are one of the finest people in our country and you, yes, you, Yukinoshita-san, should know that better than anyone. If our very own model student shows the despicable disgraceful behaviour, what example is she setting to everyone? Have you ever thought what burden you carry regarding to the student body?.."
From the foreign movies I saw I knew Westerners liked their reprimands short, expressive and sometimes colorful. People around here meanwhile preferred to speak the same lines over and over again, in that horrible casual monotone that was going to drive you insane so much you started apologizing immediately, just to make it stop.
An exquisite, refined torture every single inhabitant of our small cozy archipelago had to endure at least once in their lives.
From those three or four times I stayed at my part time jobs long enough to be reprimanded for something, I knew the best derived strategy was to just make a solemn face, stand still and say you words of apology with a bow in the end. There was no way to shorten it, no way to make it easier. All you could do was just compare it to a cold that will come and go away by itself while you can only mitigate the symptoms.
Which both me and my girlfriend were currently busy doing, with varying degrees of success. I say "varying" because whenever I shifted my eyes to check on Yuki, I was rewarded with a sight to behold: her right brow twitching on her otherwise neutral face. Funny as it was it also meant good things: she wasn't experiencing a breakdown or a panic attack, just your usual normal irritation.
Finally Atsugi-sensei said "Do you understand?", to which we both bowed and replied with "my sincerest apologies" or something along the lines.
As I exited the teachers' lounge I couldn't help but sigh.
"I know what you want to say," Yuki replied to that while looking forward absentmindedly.
"Awww, thanks." After carefully looking around I briefly pet her head, to which she gladly squinted and leaned in. "Why was something this dumb in the school regulations anyway?"
"That is a good question," Yuki sighed, still under my palm. "Although definitely not the most extreme example as far as school regulations go."
"Still dumb."
"At first I wanted to say 'can't be helped' but," Yuki raised a finger to emphasize the point, "in truth it can be."
"How exactly?"
"By petitioning and applying administrative pressure," Yuki brightly smiled, that precious wide smile she showed when being confident.
"Yeah? Well, okay, maybe we can gather enough, I don't know, evidence romance doesn't get in the way of studying, or something, but what administrative pressure do we have?"
"You have, to be precise. Isshiki-san."
"Err… Why me?"
"You instated her as a student council president. You're responsible for who you've tamed, forever."
"… Are you still holding the grudge for that time?"
That made Yuki let go of my palm, rub her face with her fingers and take a long deep sigh.
"To tell you the truth… not really. Not that strongly. It's not like I wanted to be a student council president all that much. But… Hachi." She was now looking at me with the expression most serious. "Please confirm one thing."
"Sure."
"As much as we've reiterated that: communicate with me."
"…That stings. Yeah, I promise."
"And for that I am grateful," she gently rubbed her nose on my shoulder. "Classes are starting. Though, I have to first find Yuigahama-san before she finds me."
"That sounded ominous."
She just shrugged and we headed to 2-F.
Yuki was precisely right: just at the entrance she was caught and fiercely hugged by a wild Yuigahama.
"Yukinon Yukinon Yukinooon! I missed you so much!"
"Well I can see that," Yuki, while visibly uncomfortable with the crushing hug, still managed to smile and hug her back. "I missed you too Yuigahama-san. What is with everyone trying to hug me recently?"
"Because you need it!" "You need it."
Yuki just looked at us both, shook her head and said nothing.
As it turned out, my general feeling of nothing having changed wasn't entirely correct.
And the key difference wasn't, oddly enough, stares, as I was used to those as of lately. And not even the fact I got as many stares from girls as I did from boys. I was used to that too.
The key difference was that girls' stares weren't filled with disgusted curiosity as per usual. No, they were… evaluating.
As if they had seen this particular Hachiman Hikigaya for the first time in their lives and didn't feel or know the whole thought bundle that usually appeared along with him. "Ugly", "creep", "weirdo", "loner", the usual bunch. No, there was something in their stares I've never seen before… when directed to me, that is. That something was usually reserved to Hayama, or sports club aces, or at least other male students pretty enough to garner attention.
But not to me.
What changed? No, that's the wrong question, because it was obvious exactly what changed. I mean, if that cursed photo didn't clue someone in, me and Yuki being dragged by Atsugi-sensei into teachers' lounge to be loudly roasted first thing in the morning should convince them.
So, the right question would be… let's see…
Why did it start when it was revealed me and Yuki were dating?
Really though, what's the point? If they seriously planned to make moves on me (my inner voice hideously giggled at the idea), why would they do it now that it's already established I have a girlfriend? And even if they didn't know, they at least should suspectYuki would effortlessly prevent them from even trying (not to mention I'd gleefully watch that).
Questions, questions.
Riddled and, frankly, mildly annoyed, I spent the rest of today's classes without anything of note happening to me.
The final bell rang. Club activity time.
"Hey. Going?"
"Yeah."
Accompanied by the brightly smiling Yuigahama I now walked the usual road to the clubroom.
"Anything happened?" I decided to break the silence first.
"Hmmm… not much. Hayato and Yumiko aren't speaking though. I mean, she tries but he's just gloomy all the time."
"Figures. Miura'll probably come to the club later."
"About Hayato." Yuigahama briefly laughed. "This is getting repetitive."
"You don't say," I snorted, then glanced at her. "You… don't get caught in the crossfire over this, right?"
"I'm better than that." Yuigahama sighed at me. "Talked to Yukinon today already in fact. See? No one's hurt."
"Good to hear. So you've already talked?"
"Yep. Yukinon told me everything. And about you implying I'm a klutz too." She lightly bumped her bag at my side. "Meeaniie."
"Whatever," I scoffed. "How's… how's it going between you two now? No… Hm… How does she feel to you now?"
"Why are you asking me about it? You're the one living with her now."
"Uhhh… Yeah. That too."
Yuigahama sighed once more.
"Worried about how I react?" She pouted at me. "I'm telling you I'm fine. I did a lot of thinking too you know. About us. About the club. About you and Yukinon… Can I tell something?"
"Go on?" I looked at her in suspicion.
"I was actually ashamed at what I did in the park." Yuigahama turned away from me and lowered her eyes. "Telling I wanted everything and stuff. That I wanted to have you and Yukinon. That I used the fact she was at her lowest."
She fell silent for some time.
"I thought you going out with Yukinon was, like, a punishment or something."
"We're not-"
"I know, I know. I said I just thought that, okay? So I confessed to Yukinon about it all some time afterwards." Yuigahama guiltily smiled and fiddled with a strand of her hair. "She said there was nothing to be guilty about. She said something like 'we were all not ourselves' or something. So nah, I'm fine. You're worrying about it more than I do."
"Alright then," I shrugged, not knowing what else to do. "Less worry for me."
"Yukinon too." Yuigahama touched her hair bun shyly. "Like, I'm that much precious to you… still so weird to know that."
"You are."
"Stop it. I'll fall in love with you all over again…"
"I could make a harem, I guess." For the briefest moment a vivid image flashed before my eyes: us three; this new and confident Yuigahama; this new and experienced Yuki; this new and (hopefully) smarter me; showing affection to them both; taking them for a date, maybe one by one or maybe both at once; feeling their care; enjoying them caring for each other, what with Yuigahama being so touchy-feely all the time; dealing with problems together…
The image was gone just as it appeared. After all, it was every man's dream to have two cute girls for him.
It also was every man's responsibility to tell the reality from the fantasy. And that reality indeed would be three broken hearts out of three because reality didn't work that way.
That was a really nice heartwarming image. Now I had to let it go. Maybe in another life, in another time.
Here and now I had Yuki and Yuki was more than I could ever ask for.
Sighing and shaking head at myself I followed Yuigahama to our clubroom's door.
Isshiki was already there sipping the tea Yuki had prepared for her. By the window, Yuki smiled and nodded to us, then proceeded to fill our respective cups.
"Hey there, Senpai, Yui-senpai."
"Yahallo, Iroha-chan." Was it me or did Yuigahama sound weary through that radiated cheerfulness? "Checking on Hikki and Yukinon?"
"Most definitely," Yuki nodded while delivering our cups to us; Isshiki barely had time to open her mouth after making a perfect offended pout.
"Transparent, are you." I nonchalantly noted after taking my seat.
"Wh-who do you think I am?" Isshiki finally managed to ask, still pouting and huddled over the teacup, the very image of a deeply offended innocent maiden.
"A nosy, yet naive and simplistic kouhai," I offered my observations; why not have some fun then. "You still have a ways to go. Haruno-san has a lot to teach you."
"Geh. No need. I'll be fine, thanks." Her face now showed unadulterated fear. Seconds later, though, it changed to a curious look. "So are you and Yukinoshita-senpai dating?"
Me, Yuki and Yuigahama just sighed in unison. When she wasn't being sly, she was so openly impudent it almost was cute.
Almost.
"So we are," I finally replied with a lazy shrug. "Why?"
"Eh?.. Just like that- I mean congratulations! You look nice together and stuff."
"You don't have to overexert yourself for our sake," Yuki phlegmatically noted while taking a gulp from her cup, her eyes never even leaving the page she was reading before.
"I'm honeeest!"
"We believe you." I made as serious a nod as I possibly could. "You can now focus on Hayama."
"Awww." Isshiki covered her face with the sleeve of her blazer. "I still want to rely on you, Senpai. Will you… let me? P-please?.."
There she went with fluttering eyes and batting eyelashes again.
"I promise I'll be good-"
"Isshiki-san."
"-y-yes?" She carefully turned her back to Yuki, her face most innocent and pious. Yuki meanwhile leisurely tilted her head, gave her an aside look, tucked a strand of her hair behind her elegant ear and with a slight upturn of the lips in a tone most serene she said:
"Hisssss."
"Eeek!" Not sure how it was possible but Isshiki actually jumped twenty centimeters or so into the air. "Senpai, Yukinoshita-senpai is scaring me!"
"As she's supposed to." I made an all-knowing nod again. Let's keep the fine comedy, shall we?
"Ah?!" Isshiki gasped. "You're abandoning me?"
Serves you for openly using me as a test site for tricks to woo Hayama. And abusing your charms to make me work. And generally being as un-genuine as it gets.
An annoying little sister was all I could see in you.
"I'm not. I'm just siding with Yukinoshita."
"Hmmm…" Isshiki squinted. "What, already whipped?"
"Ummm…" I looked at Yuki. "It's one of those phrases where you're damned no matter you reply?"
"Absolutely," Yuki nodded nonchalantly.
"Then I'll keep quiet."
"Totally whipped."
"Isshiki-saaaan…" Yuki's voice was practically dripping with poisonous smarminess.
"Eek!"
That made me chuckle.
"I think this much is enough. Gotta practice moderation in scaring our precious administrative resource. My administrative resource, to be precise."
"Wh-what administrative resource?" Isshiki quickly pouted at me. "What are you implying?"
"Well," I made a practiced evil face, a fearful remnant of my chuunibyou days. "Remember who made you who you are, little one."
"…Eh? What's with this chuunibyou stuff?"
"It's still half a year till the next elections. So I'd have to wait before I could instate someone more convenient like… let's see," I made an overexaggerated thinking gesture, "my own little sister? Bubbly, likable, absolutely adorable and able to charm anyone she meets. An absolute champion of the school people."
"…What?"
"Everyone will forget about you instantly. You'll become…" I made a (hopefully) cleverly measured dramatic silence.
"What? Become what?" Anxiety started breaking through the annoyed disgust in Isshiki's voice.
In response I sent her a heavy glare and replied:
"Ordinary." I tried to sound deeper to convey all the abysmal horror of the prospect. Isshiki's face showed me I made the right choice of a threat.
"Iroha-chan, they're at it again." Yuigahama, with her chin propped on her palm and taking her eyes off the phone in another hand, expressively looked at Isshiki. "It's like a two-wrestler team or something. A… what's it called again… Dynamic Duo?"
"… Huh." I raised my brows at that. "Hiratsuka-sensei I can somewhat get behind, and now you too?"
"Well, I'm into it, just…What?" Yuigahama now looked at me full alert and pouting furiously. "What?!"
"Erm… nothing?" Somehow I ended up on the defensive. Wonder why. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. Seriously though, talk to Sensei. She'd be overjoyed."
"Oh." Yuigahama shrugged. "I guess."
"Ah, that's what the origin of the term is," Yuki pondered. "I only learned about it in passing when someone made a mention of that old series about paranormal investigators… You and Yuigahama-san are right though. I start thinking I should revert back to my old ways perhaps. That is, composing a comprehensive three page essay about the persons' flaws… Yes, that I probably will."
With that Yuki nodded to herself and went back to reading.
"Hmmm… Senpai?" Isshiki caught on a new topic opportunity. "Your sister is enrolling this year?"
"Yeah. You'll like her. She's nothing like me. Seriously."
"Heeh…" Isshiki pondered for some time. "Looking forward then… and all. I think I should go now."
"If you don't mind, I'd like you to stay for a while," Yuki stopped her, "before Miura-san approaches us. It would concern you both."
"Eh? You have an appointment?"
"No. But I'm confident she'll come."
"She will," I nodded after seeing Isshiki's questioning look directed at me.
"For sure," Yuigahama did the same when looked at next.
"Huh."
"W-well, that and she already texted me asking if we're assembled," Yuigahama smiled sheepishly.
"Alright…" Isshiki looked at Yuki suspiciously but otherwise didn't object.
Silence fell for some time. I made myself comfortable on my chair, fully resolved on enjoying what little time we now had together.
After all, we had a grocery store to visit and our part-time jobs to work in the evening now.
Not some twenty minutes later we heard an impatient knock.
"Come in," Yuki replied.
The door slid open and revealed us Miura, frowning and moody.
"Yo. Got a request."
"Good afternoon, Miura-san. We're listening to your request on what to do about Hayato Hayama." While saying this Yuki didn't let on even a tiniest sign of sarcasm. Quite the contrary, she was fully polite and ready to serve our new customer. Which made the desired effect even more pronounced.
"Bwuh… wh…" It took several seconds for Miura to subdue her surprise and cringe. "Smartass… Yeah, it's about him. Doesn't wanna talk, doesn't wanna listen. Lashes at me and even Hina all the frigging time. At least he's cool with Yui and the boys so there's that. Y'know what it's all about, doncha?"
She fell silent, looking aside and twitching the hem of her skirt.
"So… yeah. How do I bring us all back?"
"First of all, why don't sit down then?" Yuki offered, then stood up and went for her teapot.
Well, it all was obvious, even to Miura. Hayama was plain heartbroken and, I could tell with a great deal of confidence, having a lot of mixed feelings because he most probably acted out on his promise to tell on us. I somehow had the gut feeling he would. There was no concrete evidence of course (and, frankly, I would feel better if there wasn't), but still.
And now us the volunteer service club would somehow piece back together his clique falling apart. Again.
All because their leader had made a stupid decision about a matter they weren't involved in or wouldn't even know anything about.
I looked at Yuki and Yuigahama. The latter's face showed understanding, but also some sort of a subtle pleading directed at me. I knew exactly what she meant, but this wasn't going to be like before. Not anymore.
Just as Yumiko Miura put her clique above else, so now would I regarding our club. And if that meant Miura or Hayama were in for some bitter pills, then so be it.
Yuki's eyes meanwhile showed… confident resolve? As if she had solved some hard puzzle and was about to tell us the solution.
I always knew Yuki was indeed a smart and capable person. It just so happened that all the solutions were provided by me, a fact in life both girls had accepted and even expected from me. Which I… let's say… didn't mind. Weird as it was for me to admit it, being relied on actually wasn't half bad.
Even if the side effect was that Yuki would over-rely on me.
But now she, it seemed, was about to propose something.
"Hikigaya-kun," she addressed me seeing I looked at her. "I know we both mostly relied on you… even when we shouldn't have. This time I want to lead the case, so to speak, by myself."
Suddenly I felt my lips upturning on their own. I wasn't actually sure what Yuki would do, but seeing her being confident for a change was so nice.
"Yeah. Go on."
"Thank you," she smiled back. "Then… Miura-san or Yuigahama-san, if you please, summon Hayama-kun here."
"Eh?! Like, n-now?" Miura was visibly startled.
"Precisely. I have been anticipating and thinking about it for several days already. Now I am solving it all my way. Certainly Hikigaya-kun's twisted solutions are quite entertaining for everyone, not to mention scarily effective… but there are some undesirable side effects. I am trying a different way. So, please."
Miura glared at Yukinoshita for a couple seconds, then reluctantly nodded as Yuigahama took out her phone.
"Alright. But it better be good, ya hear me?"
Yuki just politely smiled.
Five minutes later (mind you, a fast walk from the soccer field) we heard a careful knocking.
"Come in."
If Hayama was even slightly surprised by the attendees of the clubroom today he didn't show it.
"Good afternoon everyone." He greeted us in his usual polite manner, but then immediately frowned and looked at Yuigahama: "Yui?.. What's this all about? Why did you call me?"
Huh. So it's not just Haruno-san's beck and call, like it was back in winter. He really would just up and arrive at anyone's behest. Everyone's reliable Hayato Hayama, eh.
Remind me to never ever be like that.
"It was me who wanted you to come, Hayama-kun." Yuki now stood up, walked to the window and huddled by the sill, crossing hands on her chest. She looked nervous, but determined.
"… Eh?"
"In this clubroom we have Miura-san, Isshiki-san and you gathered and you probably can guess what it's all about."
"Yumiko?.." His face momentarily showed anger but he quickly composed himself. "Did you?.."
"Yes she did. And please don't start blaming her. Her request was rather expected. So much so that lately I have a feeling we're not Volunteer Service Club but rather Hayato Hayama's Group Support Club. Which is quite annoying in several ways but I would like to talk about other topics today."
She let her hands loose, straightened up and looked in the eyes of all three people in question.
"Among the things being in our club had taught me is that the requester's question is not always the right one they should ask. In this particular case, Miura-san's request was bring your group back. Problem is, you can't just"bring back" a group of friends or acquaintances after some events had taken place. Specifically, when members of your group fall in love or get rejected. It won't ever be the same anymore. The three of us, in this very club, know this better than anyone."
Hayama wanted to ask something but Yuki raised her hand.
"Not yet. Let me finish. What was I at again?.. Oh. What you should do in this case is not"bring back" the old group because at this point the group you know ceases to exist, for the damage is irrevocable. What you do is form your group anew. Form connections, develop friendships; everything. Which some members will accept, while some will leave. What's most important, you can't and shouldn't force anyone. And as for forcing anyone… Hayama-kun."
"Yes?" he looked at her apprehensively.
"You had the means and motives to tell on us to my family. You didn't: I know this because it was specifically Sister who did and no one even hid the fact. I honestly, without any sort of sarcasm, thank you for that and commend the fact you didn't act on impulse."
"I-I'm sorry I-… Sorry." Hayama tried to frantically justify himself.
"I accept it. There is a difference between an intention and an action. I know that from experience." Yuki lowered her head, as if heavy with unpleasant thoughts. "But," she raised her head again, "I also want to make one fact clear."
With that she fully turned to Hayama and looked him in the eyes with a stern expression.
"I won't go out with you. Or marry you for that matter."
That last sentence earned a bewildered look from Miura. Yuki meanwhile kept on:
"Contrary to popular belief Hikigaya-kun never forced or coerced me into relationship. And even if I, god forbid, had to part ways with him, I still wouldn't go out with you. We won't be the pirate twins again, Hayama-kun. Do you understand that? It would take some time to accept but right here, right now, do you understand?"
All sorts of emotions came and went on Hayama's face: anger, jealousy, hatred; for a second I thought his face would twist into a crying mess but it didn't; finally what was left was a face showing a desperate, overwhelming sadness.
Yuki decided to deliver the final blow in the most straightforward and direct way; the side effect of it was substantial amount of pain. Her face meanwhile stayed stern, but not steadily stern. Rather, she was making an effort to make it so.
All in a true Yuki fashion.
"… Yes," Hayama finally uttered. "I understand."
"Thank you," Yuki exhaled, relief now showing on her face. "I wouldn't ask for more. Not to be needlessly cruel, but I do believe the clean cut heals the fastest… and this one is important in another way. When you're done dealing with grief, please. Take a look at these two. Or any other girl in school. Or outside of school. Anywhere."
"That's it?" Miura suddenly interjected. "That's your advice? Just to deal with it?"
"Not exactly."
"'Not exactly' my ass. Cause it sure looks like that to me-"
"Miura-san," Yuki's look suddenly because heavier and colder as she herself huddled once again, "there is actually another rule of our club: we don't provide the fish, we teach you how to go fishing yourself. Do you think I'm asking you to deal with it? From a certain point of view yes, I do."
She walked from the window, to the blackboard.
"Your own feelings are yours to sort. No human being can do it for you. You can request some emotional support from Yuigahama-san, or Ebina-san. For that matter you can ask them for advice on some specifics: once again, Yuigahama-san knows plenty. But, ultimately, you do it yourself."
Miura just pursed her lips angrily.
"Another thousand words just to say 'deal with it'? Wish I didn't come here after all." She looked at Yuki, with tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "It's my group you talk about, you haughty rich… pampered… p-princess…"
"You make it sound like I was surrounded by dear friends all my life," Yuki countered. "I was entirely alone before I met Hikigaya-kun and Yuigahama-san. Though, personally, I think it was worth it."
"So what? Throw my friends away because there are some, like, better friends further in life? Just like that?"
At this point she was already crying. Yuki sighed.
"When me and Hikigaya-kun told Yuigahama-san we were dating, she ran away in tears."
"Oh I remember that." Miura angrily snorted through her sniffling bouts.
"And I thank you for being there with her." Yuki briefly bowed. "Because we couldn't."
"Eh?.." Miura clearly wasn't ready for the apology. "Wh-y-yeah… you're welcome."
"Me and Hikigaya-kun…" Yuki cotinued after nodding to herself. "We were prepared to wait for weeks before she would talk to us again. It was a pure miracle it happened sooner. But otherwise… we had to trust her on reaching out to us again. Can you do it? Can everyone in your group do it?"
"Huh?.. What are you getting at?"
"And if not, if you come to us every time you have a slightest sign of trouble…" Yuki's eyes now showed irritation. "Is your group even worth keeping?"
"It is!" Miura suddenly shouted. "I don't care if we're shallow or whatever. They're all I have!"
"Then my advice is wait for Hayama-kun to come back to your group. As he's the only one being torn away, in fact."
Not sure if Yuki meant it that way, but that was the last straw that made Miura just give up on saying anything and just quietly sob. Seeing this Yuki heavily wiped her face with a palm and sighed.
"I did it again… Miura-san, I'm-"
"Buzz off."
Yuki just solemnly returned to the blackboard.
"Yukino-ch… Yukinoshita-san, why are you always like that?" Hayama decided to ask, still looking dejected.
"I didn't mean it to induce tears…" Yuki closed her eyes with a pained expression. "It is precisely the sort of a consequence one has to be prepared for. Not quite unlike with Hikigaya-kun and Tsurumi-san back then though… But now that you say it, honestly… I'm tired of you both running to us for every little problem you have. How come we three weirdoes deal with those better than you normal people? Not to mention Hikigaya-kun would creatively put himself in the line of fire for the umpteenth time and I'm also tired of that. He's precious to me. Period."
"… You still didn't have to be such a jerk about it," Miura mumbled.
"Yumiko…" Yuigahama carefully approached her and have a sideways hug. "Yukinon didn't really mean it that way. She's just too blunt normally. You really have to see past that to get to know her."
"As if I care." Miura's sobs gradually subsided by this point; now she just kept sniffling now and then.
"Like, you know, her and Hikki sometimes just… no, not like that. They still were waiting for me even after those jerks beat them both up. And back then I decided I'll be there for them too. But you're also precious to me, Yumiko, so I'll be there for you too… Does it make sense?"
"Yeah…"Miura sniffled one last time, then smiled to her. "Kinda. Thanks, Yui. I'll wait for Hayato."
Hayama smiled sheepishly.
"Uh, s-sorry-"
"Hayato, quiet." "Hayato-kun, hush."
"Eh?.."
"No one asked you." Miura carefully let go of Yuigahama, wiped the last her tears and confidently stood up. "I'll wait for you. But you still owe me an explanation about that 'marry' thingie… An' that 'telling on them' thingie too for that matter."
"Eh…" Hayama looked at her and immediately shrank back. "Yes. I'll… do that."
"You'd better." Miura went for the door, but just before opening it she half-turned to us. "… Guess I did the right thing by coming here after all. Yukinoshita, you're still a jerk but… thanks."
"Anytime, Miura-san."
"Yeah, no. Hayato! We're going!"
"U-umm… Yukinoshita-senpai?" Isshiki decided to remind of her existence as both Miura and Hayama left. "That was kinda… too harsh?"
"Sorry for that," Yuki looked at us, then briefly hugged herself and propped against the blackboard. "I almost forgot how hard it is. Is it always like that for you, Hikigaya-kun?.."
"Yeah, well… I'm used to it."
"So you say…" Yuki massaged her neck and stood straight. "I'm planning to wrap it for today. Yuigahama-san, Isshiki-san, you may stay if you desire. Just don't forget to lock the door and take the key to the teachers' lounge."
"Oh? Something happened?" Isshiki looked at us with mild interest.
After exchanging looks with Yuki I decided to reply:
"Time sale."
"That bit about pirate twins," I mused as we were approaching the bike stand hand in hand. "Lemme guess, an old English band called?.."
"Thomas Dolby and he's not a band." Yuki finally put her face off my shoulder she had been in for some time just prior and stretched; she still was tired from the talk in the clubroom.
"Right. I think I even remember the name. Probably among Dad's CDs. Kinda old… So yeah. What's the deal with this? You promised."
"Ah, that." Yuki tapped the tip of her nose. "Just something I had picked up when studying in the US. You see, most music I listened to or played at the time was classical or jazz. And there were so many good jazz stations back there. For the time I felt so happy I didn't even feel any homesickness."
"Hm." I briefly smiled. "Probably were homesick as hell, knowing you."
"Indeed. Some time later I overheard someone in class discussing a nice internet radio, apparently broadcasting from some garage right there in San Francisco, so I gave it a try. And it just had a newly opened substation specializing on the English music from the eighties. For whatever reason that hooked me the most. Weirdly, it was those songs that… spoke to me. I suspect it has something to do with us and them both small island empires."
She looked far away with dreamy eyes, but then hung her head.
"The only problem was I couldn't even discuss it with anyone. A weird Japanese girl with weird high class manners suddenly wanting to discuss English new wave twice older than herself… That would surely raise a lot of brows. For that matter a high class model student discussing a music half her classmates don't even comprehend properly would be equally weird. And as for my family…"
Yuki's face darkened.
"They didn't take it well?" I carefully asked while stroking her hand.
"Rather I didn't even bother trying. So… well… here I am. Nowhere Girl, listening to the music even adults have given up on."
"Fine by me." I shrugged. "It's not like I can discuss Shione Yukawa or Momoko Kikuchi with anyone either. Maybe I'll even get you to listen to it… and listen to yours, of course."
"You'll have to properly learn English for that first."
"Deal," I squeezed her hand and felt her gently squeeze it back. "I'm really glad you shared."
Carefully propping Mom's cookbook behind the sink I rechecked the ingredients: a vacuum-sealed pack of pork cheek my side still reminded me of (damn those housewives and their sharp elbows), followed by potatoes, a large carrot, two heads of onions, garlic, shiitake mushrooms and finally edamame beans. In a small box on the microwave, by the rice cooker, now resided a pack of dashi powder, a bottle of mirin and a box of sugar.
There was an unspoken question as to who was cooking tonight. The question just shut up and disappeared when I took one look at Yuki after we returned (well, heroically shuffled) home tonight; thus I informed her I was cooking dinner, to which I got a guilty nod and a tired promise to cook next time.
So here I was deciphering Mom's handwriting at one of the first pages, specifically one marked "Nikujaga", with "easy" scribbled below the title. Well, if you say so Mom. Going in blind here.
Of course I knew what nikujaga was. Ever since childhood, a plate of soft potatoes and fall-apart tender meat filled with the teasing flavors of soy sauce, sugar and whatever else Mom put into there always made me drool with anticipation. Filling my stomach and warming my very soul, it was something to crave for in the long Winter evenings.
Now, all these years later, I was going to cook it for my dead-tired girlfriend.
Hopefully.
What is with this anxiety again?
Reviewing the recipe I once more tried to calm down. It was just to thinly slice the meat (the recipe specifically said both beef and pork would be fine), stir-fry it with sugar, make a broth to simmer everything, add the rest, stir and let simmer until ready. Simple, right?
Taking the knife Mom gave me I cut open the meat.
The recipe said "cut thinly". Just how thinly though… Rummaging through my memory resurfaced the images of Mom's dish and the meat was, what, three millimeters thin? Well, let's go with that.
Wait, how much meat should I slice? The pack said "500g" and had two nearly identical pieces. The recipe called for twice more but was supposed to be for a 4 member family's dinner plus storing the leftovers for the next day. For me and Yuki this probably translated into "a potful of nikujaga for the weekend". Probably. Anyway, Mom's starting pages stated the opened raw meat wouldn't last that long. In it all went then.
After slicing all the chunks into thin strips (hopefully thin enough) I reached for the potatoes only to remember in time to wipe the knife. The latter was underlined thrice in Mom's book. Apparently it was important.
After finishing the potatoes and onions and proceeding to the carrots it dawned on me that I could already start frying the meat. After standing there frozen for a minute with my knife half-raised I concluded I probably couldn't do cutting and stir-frying at once, at least yet. How does one learn to do it? Don't tell me people just practice while dealing with burnt pieces and whatnot. I inwardly sighed.
Okay, everything was prepared. After another inward sigh I turned the gas on, put the pan and started waiting till it was hot enough. Apparently the indication was supposed to be the heat I could feel with my palm some 30 centimeters up. I poured the probably right amount of oil, sifted two spoonfuls of sugar and tossed it with my cooking chopsticks. Afterwards I carefully added in the meat and started stirring the sizzling and slowly browning mass.
The cookbook said the meat was supposed to turn light brown, which it did… probably. How brown? Well, the meat was also supposed to be simmered with the vegetables for some time, so maybe it would cook enough? After transferring the meat to a plate I added dashi powder, then mirin and soy sauce, stirred it and tossed in the vegetables. If the cookbook was to be believed all was left to do was to stir it to let everything soak in the broth and leave alone for about 40 minutes.
After giving it a stir, then another one just to be sure, I covered the pan with the lid and started watching it. Then I found myself walking around our kitchenette like a wild beast in a cage, anxious and restless.
"Hachi."
"Hm?" I turned to Yuki who was cozily curled up beside our kotatsu, now clad in a shirt and frilly shorts and looking at me over her knees.
"I don't know exactly what you're doing, but at this stage it's most probably simmering. You can't speed it up." She expressively sighed. "Go take a shower."
"A-are you sure?"
"At this rate it would take around an hour for all the liquid to evaporate and the contents to start burning. You have plenty of time."
"… If you say so."
By the time I exited the shower, I already was feeling the familiar smell. The aroma of soy sauce and onions to the nice smell of meat mixing in. Worried so as not to overcook it I immediately headed to the pan and poked everything with a chopstick; nope, not ready yet. Calming down I looked around and was immediately rewarded with a sight of Yuki subtly but very actively sniffing the air.
"Smells good much?"
"That it does." Yuki smiled and took my Vita she seemingly had put away moments before. "Maybe twenty minutes more. Come here, Chef-san."
"Mhm." I obliged and sat beside her. Yuki was still playing Project Diva except she wasn't clearing the songs right now. In fact, she was…
…
… in the Miku Room.
Which Yuki was decorating with all the stuff she was rewarded with for clearing the songs. Quite a bunch of stuff in fact.
"I'm afraid to ask…" I slowly started after having fully comprehended what I just saw "Have you had any dolls or dollhouses as a kid? And is there some sob story involving your sister?"
"Yes and yes." Yuki sighed. "Am I becoming predictable to you?"
"Well…" I shrugged. "I don't mind."
"Oh."
Some time later I took a considerable effort to separate myself from Yuki's shoulder and go turn off the gas.
Nikujaga was ready. I put two plates on the kotatsu, Yuki dutifully kneeling on the other side and looking at me with anticipation.
"…You can dig in… I guess."
"Well then," Yuki took a fork, "Thanks for the food."
I watched apprehensively as she took a bite of the potato, then a slice of meat, then onion mixture…
"Yummmmyyyyy." She deadpanned seeing my anxiety. "Or at least that's what they say at the cooking shows."
"You watch those?"
"No, but Yuigahama-san does."
"Huh. Seriously though…"
"It's good."
"Ah. T-Thanks. I think I've cooked enough to last us the whole weekend."
"My, that's lovely." Yuki briefly laughed while covering her mouth with a hand. "A good practice since we'd have to pack our bentos to school."
"Yeah. Hey, tomorrow's Saturday, right?"
"Correct."
"So no waking up at five. Yaaay."
"Indeed. Now sit down and eat already."
The rest of the evening went by quickly; I barely remembered cleaning up the kitchen, laying out our futons and climbing into them after turning off the lights.
The room fell dark and silent; only distant noise from outside could be heard. As I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to take over I heard Yuki turn.
"Hachi?.. Are you asleep yet?" she quietly asked.
"Mm… Nah," I slowly replied, turning on my back. "Can't sleep?"
"More like… pondering. I know it's the weirdest question to ask at night…"
"Go on?.." I shrugged to no one in particular.
"What would you do with that request?"
I blinked, staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Idunno. Forcibly remove Hayama from their group so everyone else would remain happy and friendly?"
"After several days of procrastination of course," Yuki slowly laughed, evidently fighting drowsiness. "While I admit I never thought of that, I find your solution, how do I put it, unsurprising. I think I started figuring out your thought patterns."
"Huh. Damn. I've lost the edge then," I mock-frowned, forgetting she wouldn't see it.
"I don't think I'd accept it though." Yuki meanwhile sleepily kept on. "They'd think you were the evil again. That was part of my motivation."
"Part?" I turned my head to look at Yuki and saw her looking back.
"The other part was that I realised one important thing." She squinted while stifling a yawn. "And what a laughably obvious one it was."
"Hm?"
"That there are different approaches and solutions beside those feisty ones of yours. And that I could utilize them and still achieve the same result. Idiotic, isn't it? It took me so much time to realize I am what I am."
"It's not."
"Really now?.. I have to learn to propose direct solutions anew… if that makes sense."
"Yep." I turned to her and yawned. "It does."
"And compete with you."
"I'm not proposing them to compete," I sleepily countered, then frowned: "Well… Fine. Maybe I was at first."
"Depends on how you stretch your 'at first'."
"Besides I suck at those anyway," I skillfully switched the topic. "Like that time with Rumi-Rumi."
"Rumi-Ru… No, I'm not going to be jealous of a twelve year old. This is below me." Yuki grabbed my hand and gently bit it. "I actually gave it some thought over time. Over and over again. 'What could we have done better?'."
"… And?"
"And there's nothing. One girl you barely know, her class that's determined to take her down and three days to sort it all out. No one could do better."
"Still sucked though."
Yuki caressed my hand she was still holding.
"If you don't mind another piece of laughably obvious wisdom which I've been mulling about all this time too… We do things no one else does. Granted, we don't really succeed sometimes, but everyone else just stands on the side and judges."
"Kinda… what about some of our actions doing more harm than good?"
"You can't evade that. Everyone else doesn't make mistakes because they don't do anything at all."
It was my turn to laugh.
"What kinda therapeutic pillow talk is that?" I carefully reached for Yuki's cheek and stroked it. "I thought that was something I'd say. So what you're saying then? Keep doing it?"
"Correct."
"I'll give it a thought." I let go of her and stretched. "Good night."
"Have a good night, Hachi."
I just closed my eyes and let the now familiar comfort of our home lull me into slumber. In a still new apartment, amongst the unfamiliar noise, beside my sleeping girlfriend, I realized I felt most comfortable.
Let it be so then.
A/N: I feel fantastic and I'm still alive~. Just because I said 'endgame' doesn't mean it's ending right away. I have *checks his notes* three more chapters.
I'd also want to apologize for slow writing: unfortunately, I write as I write. I can't speed it up. I tried. I can't. It turns out shit. So please, bear with me.